QI | Can You Name These Gardening Tools?

10 June: On this day in 1793, the Jardin des Plantes in Paris opened.
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This clip is from QI Series G, Episode 01, 'Gardens' with Stephen Fry, Alan Davies, Rob Brydon, David Mitchell and Dara Ó Briain.

[@WolfWalrus]

I imagine Stephen as a frustrated schoolteacher in this one. At any moment, he'll turn to the audience and say "Don't laugh when Alan's being ridiculous, you'll just encourage him!"

[@Novur]

Stephen: "Alan, let me see what you have" Alan: "A KNIFE!" Stephen: "NO!!" David: "Oh my God, why does he have a-"

[@boneyween]

lmao

[@gracewenzel]

How would you get the cucumber out of the bottle?!

[@brianm6337]

Can You Name These Gardening Tools? Gary Ralph Sophia...

[@SierraSierraFoxtrot]

Best advertisement the gardening museum has ever had.

[@Shakes-Off-Fear]

Alan gets handed a saw blade and immediately tries to destroy the set

[@greensteve9307]

He's just like me!

[@SebHaarfagre]

@@greensteve9307 I've been looking for you. Got something I'm supposed to deliver - your hands only. Let's see here... There's a new museum opening up in Dawnstar. The owner is asking me to hand out invitations to travelers. Looks like that's it. Got to go

[@merakfirgun1071]

@@SebHaarfagre *stabs the courier*

[@DidntKnowWhatToPut1]

The curator in the audience must have had a panic attack.

[@boooster101]

imagine the face of the studio manager when they start dismantling the furniture

[@cache780]

@@boooster101 scripted

[@sallyone7029]

@@boooster101 They don't care. The bbc has so much money they can simply destroy any set they like, & simply find more taxpayers money to replace it.

[@kjkiefcakes1847]

"It's a saw!" -Alan "Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh" -the curator

[@spruceg00se]

Sally one if you don’t want to watch tv then you don’t have to pay for a tv license

[@addykelly1777]

The more he says Gentleman Gardener the more it sounds like a euphemism.

[@Lellistair]

"He's a, well, you know... a gentleman gardener, if you know what I mean"

[@ThatDamnPandaKai]

Does a Gentleman Gardener make Gentleman's Relish?

[@mrbrown2186]

Are you sure you weren't thinking of a uphill gardener?

[@cruz1ale]

The Gentleman Gardener and His Little Ho

[@PureGreggy]

@@ThatDamnPandaKai Yes, for his Gentleman's Sausage.

[@thatguyseb8824]

This is why they don't let Alan play with the toys now.

[@EzraDair]

they don't ?

[@DeBedschbacher]

@@EzraDair nope, usually not. The episode with the "Krummlauf"-rifle comes to mind. The provider of the rifle gave specific instructions NOT to hand it to Alan, as a condition.

[@TheHutchy01]

@@DeBedschbacher To be fair you'd have to be a special kind of eejit to trust Alan with a gun.

[@zetetick395]

To be fair the next thing on the show was an automatic rifle. XD

[@ingeborg-anne]

* The garden museum promptly blocks QI's number *

[@Lucifronz]

There is now a picture of Alan Davies sitting alone under the words "Banned from the Museum".

[@MercenaryPen]

I thought the sign said "to be added to the museum compost heap, head downwards"

[@zetetick395]

....The moment they get out from the coronary ward.

[@Roof5tone]

I love the little moment where Stephen actually stops his warning cuz he's distracted by the fact that the saw works.

[@JJONNYREPP]

QI | Can You Name These Gardening Tools? 29.12.23 2128pm as jamie ponces about acting like a deeply arch psychologist...

[@TallSilentGuy]

Alan is not so much a gentleman gardener as a hooligan gardener.

[@Watchinwheel]

And the problem with that is?

[@BumMcFluff]

@@Watchinwheel The hooligan bit of it, I would imagine.

[@brydon5721]

I wonder if Alan's desk still has a saw mark?

[@5uperM]

I do too.

[@mrfocigaz4942]

no

[@mattwardpictures]

"That's great, have you got any more?" (The producer downs a bottle of Pepto-bismol.)

[@pianochannel100]

Giving Alan the saw was a massive oversight

[@lmm2103]

I think they probably did that on purpose, nobody else would have been so excitable

[@BlissBatch]

I can't believe the booth didn't predict "nothing/no tools" as an answer.

[@casey6556]

They only klaxon wrong answers; I wouldn’t really call an animal “a tool”

[@exprime8872]

God, David Mitchell is so quick

[@galexeqe]

2:55 meanwhile the curators and conservators at the garden museum are having a heart attack : )

[@winston.sullivan]

"I really wish they hand't made this set of asbestos" I LOL'd.

[@KamalcranioBR]

"IT WORKS! IT WORKS!" That's why you don't put 5 men in the same space and give'em toys.

[@KamalcranioBR]

Like. Really. No kidding. Alan is like a child.

[@RAFMnBgaming]

Mein Fuhrer I can Saw!

[@zetetick395]

I've been practising 'Do Nothing Gardening' my entire adult life, in fact I've become so naturally adept at it that I've not even needed to own a garden at all in the last 6 years. (Only advisable for VERY advanced practitioners)

[@Dragmire800]

“In the Paddy fields” Rob looks at Dara

[@zetetick395]

Patricks as far as the eye can see!

[@loffan]

A small part of me was hoping that Alan would accidentally snap the saw.

[@judithann7193]

No. He'd feel bad.

[@drac1st]

Not just me then. 🤣😂.

[@strivingformindfulness2356]

He very possibly could have snapped the blade, without blade lubrication. He was lucky.

[@BumMcFluff]

And then get hit with a huge fine for damaging a museum piece.

[@timotejbernat462]

I love how Rob stares at Dara as soon as the phrase "Paddy fields" is said

[@wordreet]

Swiss Army walking sticks!!!

[@casey6556]

The look of amusement coupled with extreme concern and resignation on Stephen's face at 3:14 is honestly the best thing about this clip. Also his facial expression and tone of voice at 4:00 as he thanks the Gardening Museum for lending these *INCREDIBLY VALUABLE* artefacts

[@donnythedingo]

TIL there is a garden museum, and also they hate Davies. Poor Stephen was about to have a stroke!

[@owenfitzgerald8944]

See Dara shaking his head and scowling when Rob looked at him when Stephen said "Paddy" haha "No I will not be helping to play up that".

[@cornishphilosopher]

I feel like Steven should have lost some points here for saying that Stephenson's Rocket was the first locomotive, I know it has nothing to do with the subject and he's the host, but since when has this quiz followed normal rules? Anyway Richard Trevithic beat him to it by about 20 years

[@PureGreggy]

Shockingly bad judgement to give Alan a saw. Next maybe they give Johnny Vegas a tray of coke to see what happens?

[@madsli]

Wasn't there an instance where Allan actually DID break some stuff lent to QI by a museum?

[@michaelocyoung]

Alan: "It's a SAW!"

[@andyt2k]

That may be the most fun Allen has ever had on this show

[@LycorisSound]

I think probably my favorite QI episode.

[@LycorisSound]

Also, Dara and Rob's faces when Stephen says "paddy fields."

[@harrymix]

@2:00 Condescending Rob is the funniest thing ever.

[@AndersPuschel]

My mental state is clearly getting worse by the day. Now I feel claustrophobic on behalf of that cucumber stuck in the bottle.

[@TheTechnoLocker]

This is one of the best episodes.

[@gwen6622]

honestly this whole episode is one of the best QI episodes ever. what a star studded panel (in terms of QI panellists, anyway)

[@jakk1hundo553]

When Fry said “Paddy fields” and rob looks at Dara, the unspoken word hits hardest

[@saxrendell]

How did he manage to talk about low impact organic gardening without mentioning permaculture

[@សេរ៉ាហ្វ]

The principle of "Do nothing farming" is basically permaculture. More or less. I recommend the book "The One Straw Revolution" by Masanobu Fukuoka on that matter.

[@CaptChrispy]

I'm sure the cucumber can be used in non-straight ways too.

[@jcgabriel1569]

...Get the fish in and they'll desperately dig a pond before they die...

[@webchimp]

I do Do Nothing Gardening, I don't have a garden so I don't do anything to it.

[@Rocket1377]

That's just doing nothing. You need to actually have a garden to do "do nothing gardening". :)

[@DrWhoFanJ]

@@Rocket1377 r/woooosh

[@kierenbuckley370]

you grow the cucumber in the glass bottle but how do you get it out without breaking the bottle?

[@dolebludger]

Kieren it ha so bottom on the bottle. It'll just slide out

[@popazz1]

Stephen channeling Joyce Grenfell's nursery school teacher as he chastises Alan. Think plummy accent, " Georrrrrge, don't do that ".

[@spider5600]

I wonder if the Garden Museum have now had to amend the plaque next to the saw in the Museum. "This walking stick contains a hidden serrated edge used to by the gentleman gardener to saw off an overhanging branch in the late 19th century or by Alan Davies to saw the set from the television show QI in 2014 and we have since denied all requests to lend our exhibits after the curator passed out"

[@nagualdesign]

I don't understand how Dara's seed sprinkler worked. Surely the largest hole(s) would let through seeds of any size?

[@violetskies14]

You sew seeds smallest to largest.

[@nagualdesign]

@@violetskies14 Like a necklace? I bet it's difficult to sew seeds.

[@violetskies14]

@@nagualdesign 7 months later you reply to make a joke? 😂

[@nagualdesign]

@@violetskies14 😉 I hope it was worth waiting for.

[@seanwelch71]

Talk about chewing the scenery!

[@chedelirio6984]

Bad enough for the Museum but now the set crew have to whip up a new countertop, too.

[@beth12svist]

Cheo Delirio I was wondering if in subsequent episodes there was a cut...

[@ludvig9184]

How in god's name was "no tools" not a klaxon?

[@sheldoncedwardthibault3599]

Asbestos in the panelling "Yikes"- Alan steals the show every time!

[@unclecreepy4073]

The glass object looks like the opening is too small to pull the straight cucumber out. So do you have to break it? Seems like a lot of waste.

[@wayneessar7489]

The stem comes out the small end, the cucumber grows down the bottle.

[@Dragmire800]

Brydon hears “Paddy field” and looks at Dara

[@D_U_N_E]

I SAW that one coming...

[@rufusgreenleaf2466]

D.U.N.E No ones here, just a tumbleweed.

[@D_U_N_E]

And I'm the tumbleweed!!!

[@ChristianW1975]

Stephen Fry is absolutely amazing

[@Jesse3beards]

«I really wish they didn’t make this set out of asbestos»

[@eggarts9158]

Surely it would have given Alan the bottle, but then again he’d have probably smashed it

[@shock_n_Aweful]

who thought it was a good idea to give a sharp object to Alan?

[@agalgonzalez]

The most hilarious bit is Alan saying "got any more?"

[@mitchweiner]

Alan with a sharp instrument in his hand turns into a five-year-old boy! 😂

[@barryirlandi4217]

Always the [problem when you try to make the lesson fun!

[@StanTheObserver-lo8rx]

The tree saw was obvious..They still make them triangularish like that. The other I couldn't make out..too small. But later ,yes a Scythe is more accurate than Hoe. The still make forms for vegetables..You really can buy one that will grow a square Tomato. No kidding.

[@jcgabriel1569]

Alan Davies is...THE SAW

[@drewlovelyhell4892]

Alan is a bad influence on the other students.

[@sarcasticstartrek7719]

how do you get the cucumber out after, other than... breaking it?

[@mitshua]

Ok but neither Rob or David told us if this were true or not

[@edwindude9893]

I’m a geek ! I knew what they were all for !

[@rubenknol1590]

this was awesome!

[@douglasparkinson4123]

you can jsut hear the mitchell and web sketches in davids jokes. like that joke about the inventor only wanting to talk about the saw. that was a joke from mitchell and webb. it was about neil armstrong writing a song.

[@stevehayward1854]

My grand father used a walking stick for dispatching chickens golf style

[@robinleppitt3168]

How do you get the cucumbers back out again!?

[@gwishart]

Cut them off the vine, then slide them out the large open end of the glass tube.

[@aerodaan]

Oh the times people looked still young 😦

[@stephenbenner4353]

“I like to call it a slang blade.”

[@JonathanNichollstechandsuch8]

I thought a gentleman gardener was a man who… trimmed his hedges, so to speak.

[@foucault8964]

Jesus David knows everything. Like stephen.

[@danielnoriega5200]

I'm surprised he didn't give alan the bottle

[@billyandrew]

Need to dig up your garden, but can't be bothered? Make an anonymous call to the police and tell them someone in the pub claims to have buried a body there. You're welcome. 😜😂😂😂

[@neilperry2224]

The glass for growing cucumbers straight

[@sweetdude1298]

1:29 the Coalbrookdale locomotive (built in 1801) was actually the first locomotive

[@lmm2103]

There's a delightful David Attenborough documentary about this, about Sokoyama in Japan, or at least where I think that is

[@thenodfather]

Rob looked at Dara when he Stpehen said Paddy and Dara STOPPED his attempt at a shit joke.

[@andydee1304]

Cucumbers are fruits, not vegetables.

[@guesswho2390]

I don’t understand how they get the cucumber out of the bottle?!

[@makiburgess5733]

Really? They pick it. They break off the stem. There is no bottom on the “bottle”.

[@guesswho2390]

@@makiburgess5733 chill! I thought the bottle was covered on the bottom.

[@basementdwellercosplay]

Why did you give the children a cutting tool

[@seanclements6206]

If Victoria Coren-Mitchell doesn't make David call her "my little ho" then I just don't understand her interest in him

[@madracTube]

The bio says, on this day in 1793 jardis des plantes (de Paris) was open, meanwhile it was established in early 17th century..

[@CaptChrispy]

David Mitchell AND Rob Brydon, now I have to change my pants.

[@LoneKharnivore]

I wonder if the use of carp in agriculture is what has given them a significance above their station? Like cats in Ancient Egypt.

[@sozeytozey]

I love when Rob goes full condescending-teacher mode

[@seangrand3885]

“So, talking of hoes, Rob..”

[@monochromaticlightsource9153]

Spanner. Bill hook. Radish. Carrot. Hacksaw.

[@williamhiers1280]

"So, talking of hoes, Rob."

[@lauramuse910]

Why did they give HIM the saw?

[@kayehenry3737]

I suspect they knew, of the four, Alan would make us laugh the most with the saw blade. His childlike glee is so infectious. I'm not sure how confident they were he wouldn't destroy either a valuable artifact or the desk. And it worked out because David is better with the wisecracks while Alan does the physical humor.

[@XFeuerFestX]

Surely that last tool is for the gentleman gardener's wife

[@GrumpyTy34er]

David has the gardening equivalent of a Sabbath Stick. Amazing

[@insertname1014]

Was there klaxon broken for those first few seconds?

[@theswayzeexpress1]

I am definitely dumb, but how do you get the cucumber out of the bottle?

[@SidDrapic]

Nothing better than watching Alan go feral on the show

[@kennyn1992]

Can't believe Alan never mentioned a lady gardener.

[@olivertunnah3987]

Saddened Alan's 'no tools' answer wasn't a klaxon.