QI | Can You Name These Gardening Tools?

10 June: On this day in 1793, the Jardin des Plantes in Paris opened.
Follow QI on Twitter ▶ / qikipedia
Follow QI on Facebook ▶ / officialqi
Follow QI on Instagram ▶ / theqielves
Subscribe on KZbin ▶ / theqielves
For more visit ▶ qi.com
This clip is from QI Series G, Episode 01, 'Gardens' with Stephen Fry, Alan Davies, Rob Brydon, David Mitchell and Dara Ó Briain.

[@Roof5tone]

I love the little moment where Stephen actually stops his warning cuz he's distracted by the fact that the saw works.

[@JJONNYREPP]

QI | Can You Name These Gardening Tools? 29.12.23 2128pm as jamie ponces about acting like a deeply arch psychologist...

[@SierraSierraFoxtrot]

Best advertisement the gardening museum has ever had.

[@Novur]

Stephen: "Alan, let me see what you have" Alan: "A KNIFE!" Stephen: "NO!!" David: "Oh my God, why does he have a-"

[@boneyween]

lmao

[@WolfWalrus]

I imagine Stephen as a frustrated schoolteacher in this one. At any moment, he'll turn to the audience and say "Don't laugh when Alan's being ridiculous, you'll just encourage him!"

[@pianochannel100]

Giving Alan the saw was a massive oversight

[@lmm2103]

I think they probably did that on purpose, nobody else would have been so excitable

[@addykelly1777]

The more he says Gentleman Gardener the more it sounds like a euphemism.

[@Lellistair]

"He's a, well, you know... a gentleman gardener, if you know what I mean"

[@ThatDamnPandaKai]

Does a Gentleman Gardener make Gentleman's Relish?

[@mrbrown2186]

Are you sure you weren't thinking of a uphill gardener?

[@cruz1ale]

The Gentleman Gardener and His Little Ho

[@PureGreggy]

@@ThatDamnPandaKai Yes, for his Gentleman's Sausage.

[@Shakes-Off-Fear]

Alan gets handed a saw blade and immediately tries to destroy the set

[@greensteve9307]

He's just like me!

[@SebHaarfagre]

@@greensteve9307 I've been looking for you. Got something I'm supposed to deliver - your hands only. Let's see here... There's a new museum opening up in Dawnstar. The owner is asking me to hand out invitations to travelers. Looks like that's it. Got to go

[@merakfirgun1071]

@@SebHaarfagre *stabs the courier*

[@RolandHutchinson]

Not so much immediately as inevitably.

[@ingeborg-anne]

* The garden museum promptly blocks QI's number *

[@Lucifronz]

There is now a picture of Alan Davies sitting alone under the words "Banned from the Museum".

[@MercenaryPen]

I thought the sign said "to be added to the museum compost heap, head downwards"

[@zetetick395]

....The moment they get out from the coronary ward.

[@winston.sullivan]

"I really wish they hand't made this set of asbestos" I LOL'd.

[@casey6556]

The look of amusement coupled with extreme concern and resignation on Stephen's face at 3:14 is honestly the best thing about this clip. Also his facial expression and tone of voice at 4:00 as he thanks the Gardening Museum for lending these *INCREDIBLY VALUABLE* artefacts

[@timotejbernat462]

I love how Rob stares at Dara as soon as the phrase "Paddy fields" is said

[@galexeqe]

2:55 meanwhile the curators and conservators at the garden museum are having a heart attack : )

[@thatguyseb8824]

This is why they don't let Alan play with the toys now.

[@EzraDair]

they don't ?

[@DeBedschbacher]

@@EzraDair nope, usually not. The episode with the "Krummlauf"-rifle comes to mind. The provider of the rifle gave specific instructions NOT to hand it to Alan, as a condition.

[@TheHutchy01]

@@DeBedschbacher To be fair you'd have to be a special kind of eejit to trust Alan with a gun.

[@zetetick395]

To be fair the next thing on the show was an automatic rifle. XD

[@mattwardpictures]

"That's great, have you got any more?" (The producer downs a bottle of Pepto-bismol.)

[@owenfitzgerald8944]

See Dara shaking his head and scowling when Rob looked at him when Stephen said "Paddy" haha "No I will not be helping to play up that".

[@DidntKnowWhatToPut1]

The curator in the audience must have had a panic attack.

[@boooster101]

imagine the face of the studio manager when they start dismantling the furniture

[@cache780]

@@boooster101 scripted

[@sallyone7029]

@@boooster101 They don't care. The bbc has so much money they can simply destroy any set they like, & simply find more taxpayers money to replace it.

[@kjkiefcakes1847]

"It's a saw!" -Alan "Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh" -the curator

[@spruceg00se]

Sally one if you don’t want to watch tv then you don’t have to pay for a tv license

[@exprime8872]

God, David Mitchell is so quick

[@BlissBatch]

I can't believe the booth didn't predict "nothing/no tools" as an answer.

[@casey6556]

They only klaxon wrong answers; I wouldn’t really call an animal “a tool”

[@brydon5721]

I wonder if Alan's desk still has a saw mark?

[@5uperM]

I do too.

[@mrfocigaz4942]

no

[@gwen6622]

honestly this whole episode is one of the best QI episodes ever. what a star studded panel (in terms of QI panellists, anyway)

[@andyt2k]

That may be the most fun Allen has ever had on this show

[@zetetick395]

I've been practising 'Do Nothing Gardening' my entire adult life, in fact I've become so naturally adept at it that I've not even needed to own a garden at all in the last 6 years. (Only advisable for VERY advanced practitioners)

[@harrymix]

@2:00 Condescending Rob is the funniest thing ever.

[@jakk1hundo553]

When Fry said “Paddy fields” and rob looks at Dara, the unspoken word hits hardest

[@HoboRoadshow7]

“In the Paddy fields” Rob looks at Dara

[@zetetick395]

Patricks as far as the eye can see!

[@TheTechnoLocker]

This is one of the best episodes.

[@LycorisSound]

I think probably my favorite QI episode.

[@LycorisSound]

Also, Dara and Rob's faces when Stephen says "paddy fields."

[@sheldoncedwardthibault3599]

Asbestos in the panelling "Yikes"- Alan steals the show every time!

[@TallSilentGuy]

Alan is not so much a gentleman gardener as a hooligan gardener.

[@Watchinwheel]

And the problem with that is?

[@BumMcFluff]

@@Watchinwheel The hooligan bit of it, I would imagine.

[@agalgonzalez]

The most hilarious bit is Alan saying "got any more?"

[@KamalcranioBR]

"IT WORKS! IT WORKS!" That's why you don't put 5 men in the same space and give'em toys.

[@KamalcranioBR]

Like. Really. No kidding. Alan is like a child.

[@RAFMnBgaming]

Mein Fuhrer I can Saw!

[@production749]

I love how Stephen just can't decide whether he is having a panic attack at the sight of Alan using this saw or he is also excited, that it still works😂

[@loffan]

A small part of me was hoping that Alan would accidentally snap the saw.

[@judithann7193]

No. He'd feel bad.

[@drac1st]

Not just me then. 🤣😂.

[@strivingformindfulness2356]

He very possibly could have snapped the blade, without blade lubrication. He was lucky.

[@BumMcFluff]

And then get hit with a huge fine for damaging a museum piece.

[@ChristianW1975]

Stephen Fry is absolutely amazing

[@wordreet]

Swiss Army walking sticks!!!

[@madsli]

Wasn't there an instance where Allan actually DID break some stuff lent to QI by a museum?

[@spider5600]

I wonder if the Garden Museum have now had to amend the plaque next to the saw in the Museum. "This walking stick contains a hidden serrated edge used to by the gentleman gardener to saw off an overhanging branch in the late 19th century or by Alan Davies to saw the set from the television show QI in 2014 and we have since denied all requests to lend our exhibits after the curator passed out"

[@popazz1]

Stephen channeling Joyce Grenfell's nursery school teacher as he chastises Alan. Think plummy accent, " Georrrrrge, don't do that ".

[@rubenknol1590]

this was awesome!

[@lmm2103]

There's a delightful David Attenborough documentary about this, about Sokoyama in Japan, or at least where I think that is

[@donnythedingo]

TIL there is a garden museum, and also they hate Davies. Poor Stephen was about to have a stroke!

[@michaelocyoung]

Alan: "It's a SAW!"

[@ealonlor]

Best panel ever

[@sweetdude1298]

1:29 the Coalbrookdale locomotive (built in 1801) was actually the first locomotive

[@cornishphilosopher]

I feel like Steven should have lost some points here for saying that Stephenson's Rocket was the first locomotive, I know it has nothing to do with the subject and he's the host, but since when has this quiz followed normal rules? Anyway Richard Trevithic beat him to it by about 20 years

[@alexanderkelly7819]

I just saw this channel last night and these clips are the funniest things I've seen in a while

[@nagualdesign]

I don't understand how Dara's seed sprinkler worked. Surely the largest hole(s) would let through seeds of any size?

[@violetskies14]

You sew seeds smallest to largest.

[@nagualdesign]

@@violetskies14 Like a necklace? I bet it's difficult to sew seeds.

[@violetskies14]

@@nagualdesign 7 months later you reply to make a joke? 😂

[@nagualdesign]

@@violetskies14 😉 I hope it was worth waiting for.

[@HoboRoadshow7]

Brydon hears “Paddy field” and looks at Dara

[@sozeytozey]

I love when Rob goes full condescending-teacher mode

[@mitchweiner]

Alan with a sharp instrument in his hand turns into a five-year-old boy! 😂

[@SidDrapic]

Nothing better than watching Alan go feral on the show

[@madracTube]

The bio says, on this day in 1793 jardis des plantes (de Paris) was open, meanwhile it was established in early 17th century..

[@CaptChrispy]

David Mitchell AND Rob Brydon, now I have to change my pants.

[@PureGreggy]

Shockingly bad judgement to give Alan a saw. Next maybe they give Johnny Vegas a tray of coke to see what happens?

[@GrumpyTy34er]

David has the gardening equivalent of a Sabbath Stick. Amazing

[@D_U_N_E]

I SAW that one coming...

[@rufusgreenleaf2466]

D.U.N.E No ones here, just a tumbleweed.

[@D_U_N_E]

And I'm the tumbleweed!!!

[@douglasparkinson4123]

you can jsut hear the mitchell and web sketches in davids jokes. like that joke about the inventor only wanting to talk about the saw. that was a joke from mitchell and webb. it was about neil armstrong writing a song.

[@edwindude9893]

I’m a geek ! I knew what they were all for !

[@CaptChrispy]

I'm sure the cucumber can be used in non-straight ways too.

[@kierenbuckley370]

you grow the cucumber in the glass bottle but how do you get it out without breaking the bottle?

[@dolebludger]

Kieren it ha so bottom on the bottle. It'll just slide out

[@neilperry2224]

The glass for growing cucumbers straight

[@barryirlandi4217]

Always the [problem when you try to make the lesson fun!

[@LoneKharnivore]

I wonder if the use of carp in agriculture is what has given them a significance above their station? Like cats in Ancient Egypt.

[@cmtippens9209]

Everyone keeps saying that the glass "bottle" has no bottom so that it's essentially a tube which would make sense for the intended purpose. However, he said it was a "bottle with the top cut off" and made no mention of there also being no bottom. Also, by the way he's handling it and looking at or through it, it does appear to have glass on the bottom. 1:24 Is it possible that it has been misidentified by the museum or someone else?

[@chadfife3265]

If you look close you can see it has no bttm

[@tony.h321]

4:50 Perhaps the clear glass of the cucumber mold is also meant to allow sunlight.

[@AndersPuschel]

My mental state is clearly getting worse by the day. Now I feel claustrophobic on behalf of that cucumber stuck in the bottle.

[@saxrendell]

How did he manage to talk about low impact organic gardening without mentioning permaculture

[@សេរ៉ាហ្វ]

The principle of "Do nothing farming" is basically permaculture. More or less. I recommend the book "The One Straw Revolution" by Masanobu Fukuoka on that matter.

[@sarcasticstartrek7719]

how do you get the cucumber out after, other than... breaking it?

[@ElCID40000]

5:00 a cucumber is a fruit.

[@pamelah6431]

😁

[@stephenbenner4353]

“I like to call it a slang blade.”

[@Zectzozda]

Rob Brydon: "Everyone's been given interesting instruments, while I'm given a bottle with the top cut off". Well, Rob, if this isn't an analogy for the comedic talent in that room, then I don't know what is.

[@ReadyMindsetGo]

Wasn't do nothing farming originated in Japan by Masanobu Fukuoka? I think initially there is quite a bit of design and implementation work to be done but gradually the workload should decrease whilst the outputs increase (not only in terms of production but also ecosystem services/benefits).

[@Shaun.Stephens]

These early ones without Sandi blathering at the end are so much better to watch than the later ones.

[@insertname1014]

Was there klaxon broken for those first few seconds?

[@chedelirio6984]

Bad enough for the Museum but now the set crew have to whip up a new countertop, too.

[@beth12svist]

Cheo Delirio I was wondering if in subsequent episodes there was a cut...

[@shock_n_Aweful]

who thought it was a good idea to give a sharp object to Alan?

[@ThatVincion]

Alan listens to his intrusive voices and I applaud it.

[@charlestownsend9280]

The one thing that I'm wondering is, how do you get the cucumber out of the glass bottle without getting shards of glass in your cucumber?

[@awkwardcultism]

There's another hole.

[@MichaelSHartman]

Cut the stem young Alan.

[@unclecreepy4073]

The glass object looks like the opening is too small to pull the straight cucumber out. So do you have to break it? Seems like a lot of waste.

[@wayneessar7489]

The stem comes out the small end, the cucumber grows down the bottle.

[@James-iw4fz]

its an old bow saw ofcourse it works...

[@magillanz]

how did they get the cucumber out of the bottle?

[@danielnoriega5200]

I'm surprised he didn't give alan the bottle

[@Jesse3beards]

«I really wish they didn’t make this set out of asbestos»

[@aerodaan]

Oh the times people looked still young 😦

[@olivertunnah3987]

Saddened Alan's 'no tools' answer wasn't a klaxon.

[@eggarts9158]

Surely it would have given Alan the bottle, but then again he’d have probably smashed it

[@robinleppitt3168]

How do you get the cucumbers back out again!?

[@gwishart]

Cut them off the vine, then slide them out the large open end of the glass tube.

[@mitshua]

Ok but neither Rob or David told us if this were true or not

[@kennyn1992]

Can't believe Alan never mentioned a lady gardener.

[@guesswho2390]

I don’t understand how they get the cucumber out of the bottle?!

[@makiburgess5733]

Really? They pick it. They break off the stem. There is no bottom on the “bottle”.

[@guesswho2390]

@@makiburgess5733 chill! I thought the bottle was covered on the bottom.

[@gracewenzel]

How would you get the cucumber out of the bottle?!

[@monochromaticlightsource9153]

Spanner. Bill hook. Radish. Carrot. Hacksaw.

[@NeatNit]

Nowhere in this video did he ask them to name the tools

[@theswayzeexpress1]

I am definitely dumb, but how do you get the cucumber out of the bottle?

[@StanTheObserver-lo8rx]

The tree saw was obvious..They still make them triangularish like that. The other I couldn't make out..too small. But later ,yes a Scythe is more accurate than Hoe. The still make forms for vegetables..You really can buy one that will grow a square Tomato. No kidding.

[@freddieellis8449]

“...Stephenson of the first locomotive...”? Tell that to Richard Trevithick! I expected more from you, Stephen! Rocket was built in 1829, Trevithick had a working locomotive in 1801! Minus many, many points for Mr. Fry, deary me!

[@foucault8964]

Jesus David knows everything. Like stephen.

[@jcgabriel1569]

...Get the fish in and they'll desperately dig a pond before they die...

[@Karagianis]

I have to say I'm still a little annoyed that QI perpetuated the myth that George Stevenson's Rocket was the first locomotive. it wasn't even George Stevenson's first locomotive. The first ever railway locomotive was made by Richard Trevithick in 1802 and didn't have a name. Claiming the Rocket was the first locomotive is even more stupid because it was the winner of a LOCOMOTIVE TRIALS. The fact that 4 other locomotives showed up to compete with it clearly demonstrates it wasn't the first.

[@SabertoothDeathmouse]

Karagianis I'm not disagreeing about it not being the first. More about drawing false conclusions, just because others were in a competition doesn't mean that it wasn't the first built of those 5, by that logic, the competition doesn't prove it wasn't the first.

[@creadishcread2243]

Yes, I wish they had sounded the QI klaxon for him!

[@xannaduu]

I understand your arugument, but to take it into the present day it's like building the first solar car, or passenger space travel-- it's technically been done but at this point in time no clear winner has emerged. Only history can judge.

[@creadishcread2243]

Richard Trevithick was making steam locomotives, and various other innovations like paddle barges, pumps for mining, farm equipment, etc. 30 years before Stephenson (who became rich and famous from copying Trevithick's ideas after the latter moved to South America following bankruptcy).

[@binaway]

Stevenson invented a method of removing the clincker (slag) form the fire box without having to removed all it's contents after it had cooled down. He also invented the multiple boiler fire tubes. Both features were on the rocket only. All steam engines afterwards kept to the rocket design. It was by far the best of the 4 designs in the competition.

[@webchimp]

I do Do Nothing Gardening, I don't have a garden so I don't do anything to it.

[@Rocket1377]

That's just doing nothing. You need to actually have a garden to do "do nothing gardening". :)

[@DrWhoFanJ]

@@Rocket1377 r/woooosh