QI | What Did They Feast On 12,000 Years Ago?

In which QI makes a 'Jay-Zed' reference.
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This clip is from QI Series M, Episode 10, 'Making A Meal' with Stephen Fry, Alan Davies, Phill Jupitus, Cariad Lloyd and Dermot O'Leary.

[@CaptHayfever]

"I'm at +1, so I'm not gonna speak again." ~QI Game Theory by Alan Davies

[@funniebunnie4u]

"I was playing a "rough" type.." 😂😂😂

[@davidsalisbury1688]

I think the greatest bit of wisdom I have ever heard is from Alan Davis in this episode . . . "That's the thing about getting old, you look around and think 'My god, look at how much shit I've got.'"

[@birth0fserpents]

bbc's current biggest failure is drip feeding these clips to us when the full series streaming would do insane numbers

[@nolansykinsley3734]

I remember it being brought up in a QI XL episode and Stephen said it is basically a licensing issue with all of the video material they use in the projectors behind the panelists. They had only secured the broadcast rights for those materials in the UK, and the logistics of procuring all of the licenses in other countries alone, not to mention the massive cost, meant they would never be able to air full episodes in other countries. What they are showing on youtube are snippets that they have the full license and rights to broadcast worldwide, it is the best they can do.

[@JonasHamill]

They're all on Netflix

[@19amm]

@@JonasHamill not in every country 🙁

[@elizabethcherokee248]

Jonas Hamill no they aren’t..at least here in the states because I just checked

[@marksieving7925]

All of the Stephen Fry episodes are on DVD. They'd rather sell DVDs than give the show away for nothing.

[@DukeOfKidderminster]

I find it impossible to believe that Stephen has ever eaten a micro meal.

[@ploptart4649]

I'm sure he tried it once and found the experience perfectly charming, but sadly, not for him.

[@billwatts9392]

It was mn's special range

[@john.premose]

Yeah, like Phil is so "rough". Oh please...hes the most pampered, fat one on there

[@BenjaminGoose]

I don't think a micromeal would fill him up.

[@MichaelKingsfordGray]

I find it impossible to believe that you are the Duke of anywhere!

[@medievalist]

I love it when Phil imitates Stephen :)

[@theBoonarmies]

What I miss most about Stephen hosting is when Phil would be on and give him no end of grief.

[@MyLateralThawts]

Guess the hare was on the sidelines of the feast thinking “So how’s slow and steady working out for you now tortoise?”

[@MrMaki97]

Allan is on fire in this one.

[@howardsend6589]

I wish.

[@GarioTheRock]

Phil as well! "Playing a rough type" in regards to Stephen using a microwave was brilliant 😂

[@johnmc3862]

Nothing scripted of course!

[@lenaoxton3999]

Oh goodness, Stephen microwaving a meal is as out of character as Alan not having an affinity for the Blue Whale.

[@patrickvanfleet3240]

Reading this has helped me have a better day. 🙏

[@TallSilentGuy]

Or Stephen bouncing on a pogo stick.

[@Sarah-ev1gj]

On 'a bit of fry and laurie', Stephen made microwaved beef goulash for the ending of one episode. Soupy twist!

[@alinadeem1696]

I have yet to understand why people don't like Phill. His sense of humor is immaculate!

[@TF1Akrata]

Never seen any comment bashing Phill. WHO DID IT? WHERE IS HE? POINT ME AT EM. No but seriously. Jupitus is one of the best guests on any show he appears on.

[@CJT3X]

It's weird... plenty of people bash him and I don't get it myself.

[@minners71]

It's called an opinion mine is that he is OK nothing great but not bad either.

[@TF1Akrata]

Wow, sir. Its almost as if you didn't add anything to the conversation. Its almost as if we were questioning "why" they had that opinion, not "ME NO UNDERSTAND WHAT OPINION IS"

[@shurdi3]

The general reason people bash Phil isn't cause he's always shit, but because he'll often take a joke that's going on, and just ram into the ground. Often while being overly loud for some reason

[@Chimera_Photography]

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Phil Jupitus look like the same person twice :-P

[@RIXRADvidz]

oh what a blessing it would be to have all the Qi's A to P all up and running for everyone to see HINT HINT HINT HINT HINT HINT HINT HINT HINT HINT HINT HINT HINT HINT HINT

[@drfuzzee]

ooh what a good idea!

[@CJT3X]

and that's why god invented the vpn, because streaming content should be accessible to everyone

[@annother3350]

Or use a British proxy and watch on iPlayer. There's only a few there though

[@luuketaylor]

There were 3 HINTs missing from the above comment.

[@N.I.R.A.T.I.A.S.]

Did Stephen actually get the Jay-Z joke? I suppose Alan asking Dermot about it would have clued him in.

[@drownthedays]

Alan was in top shape in this episode.

[@SuspiciousNut]

Phil’s hair is on point man 👌🏻

[@martincattell6820]

Stephen Fry at 2am in his underwear chucking a lasagne in. You can't un-see it

[@almostfm]

I believe his Lordship usually has one of the under butlers do that.

[@Scott-J]

Oh my, Phil looking quite fetching and funny.

[@bartybum]

How mint is that hair cut though

[@markrowland1366]

The Agora was a public place in Athens. Being afraid to go there, amongst the throng of people, is seen as a handycap. The agora here represents all similar situations.

[@NewMessage]

If you put it in pastry, does it become a tartoise?

[@ratholin]

Nope it becomes a Slowmosa

[@atimholt]

Wouldn’t that be pronounced the same as “Tardis”? Might create confusion.

[@TheHutchy01]

New Message Nah, it only becomes a tartoise if you put it in cheap stockings and lipstick.

[@HaydenX]

If you warm up leftovers, is that a "retort"?

[@starlord2112]

Presumably one would cook it in a slow cooker. (Only took me 11 months to come up with that...)

[@lynx318therealone]

Stephen Fry poking fork in TV dinner. Psycho score in background.

[@MichaelKingsfordGray]

They neglected to mention that this was at Lake Mungo in Australia...

[@grease_monkey6078]

Stephen Fry having a Microwave meal, don't be Absurd

[@CaptainAmaziiing]

Bring back Stephen as a guest panelist!

[@tommieves1404]

Dermot O'Leary is so fiiiiiine!!!

[@RoninDave]

must have been a slow cooked meal

[@dr.grogsaudiostories]

I can't help seeing how much Phil jupitus looks like John Flansburg

[@ploptart4649]

Does anyone know the name of the cutlery pattern at 01:16?

[@miketacos9034]

Nice.

[@nowandaround312]

Why is the most replayed part of this video the end screen? It's the only peak in the entire video

[@matthewschneider6725]

I'm ashamed of how long I spent trying to figure out why hair would be on a menu with tortoises.

[@AllenKnutson]

AhhOOOGah ahhOOOGah

[@klaxoncow]

My piercing action is to stab each of the four corners and then one in the middle. My reasoning is to, like, distribute the holes symmetrically, so that there's no pocket of heat that can't escape, as I presume that this is the underlying idea of punching holes in the thing. I have no actual evidence that any of this is correct, but it's what I tell myself must surely make some sort of sense, right?

[@CommaCam]

I'll try your way next time and see if it makes a difference. I usually just separate one corner of the film and assume the steam finds its way out.

[@TheMoonRover]

That's what I do. Using a fork, stab once in each corner and once in the middle.

[@boneyween]

Yep same

[@gregwarner3753]

Grain, onions, garlic, beer and anything that did not run fast enought

[@sasukesarutobi3862]

The menu says "tortoise" 69 times. Nice.

[@Ngamotu83]

The tortoise still didn't have its name at that point, either.

[@pistonar]

But it was still delicious.

[@Auger3504]

It was called "Dinner".

[@thewilltheway]

They talk about eating tortoises a lot. I wonder If they were tying to tell us something.

[@MichaelSHartman]

Do they have rabbit ears on their televisions, or dish (shell)?

[@Jesusexplains]

McDonalds Oats ... commonly referred to as McOats!

[@sharonhoerr6523]

At age 8 I stepped on a turtle shell by accident and my dad threw it into the back of his pickup. Later he chopped off its head and the poor thing walked around our garage headless for days terrifying me. Then my mom finally cooked it for us for dinner.

[@paulbaker8734]

I didn't know AGA made microwaves, Stephen?

[@Nulono]

2:27 What'd you say?

[@grecogreco4]

The original microwave meal. Tortoise. Just pierce the top.

[@rmkw4291]

Who styled Phill's hair? Certainly not one of his usual BBC looks on show here.

[@welcome_back_to_1972]

I saw someone speaking about the writings of someone (totally reliable, right?) that tortoise meat was the best and most tender thing he had ever eaten. Mass hunting for their meat to use in stuff like stews led to hunting bans. It was probably a QI! Poor things. They also likely hold immense insight in their genetics that would help humans - if they survive long enough to give that insight.

[@AliceYobby]

That anecdote was mentioned on QI, and in fact the deliciousness of giant tortoises have been mentioned a number of times during Stephens run. The early evolutionary scientists were unable to even name them, because on the ship ride back to Europe or America, they couldn’t resist using them for food, and because they stored clean fresh water within their bodies, water

[@MySerpentine]

11 and a half lines of 'tortoises'

[@pa6552]

What if they just used the shells as bowls and ate something else instead?

[@AgentAllen2]

Points all round for side-stepping any 'fast food hadn't been invented' jokes.

[@andyh7777]

How do we know the shells weren't just used as plates/bowls?

[@RubelliteFae]

Yes exactly. I read the paper because I was skeptical. They were definitely butchered and cooked, but there's no evidence that they were all done on the same occasion. The authors even say, "The capture of aurochs and/or 71 tortoises for a specific event represents a monumental undertaking," and, "As mortuary rituals became larger in scale, increasingly public and formalized, the material remains including the trash associated with these events (“ceremonial trash,” cf. ref. 38) became more precious and worthy of special burial." They presume feast & shaman from the start and make their further conclusions from that point. I find that archaeological papers do this sort of thing far too often (my degree is in archaeology with my interest being the transition from hunting and gathering to civilization-the period to which this paper pertains-by the way). Here's the paper if you want to read it: www.pnas.org/content/107/35/15362 . It's much more approachable than I expected. It reads like undergraduate work.

[@leeyou4068]

How do they know it wasn't a sacrifice?

[@WeaselKing1000]

My 'microwave stabby number' is five. Always in at least a rough quincunx formation. If it's twin compartments, then five for each compartment.

[@the-chillian]

How do they know all the tortoises were eaten at the same time?

[@the-chillian]

@Fred Smith Maybe. But then, I once had an entire drawer full of Coca-Cola bottle caps that took me several years to accumulate. There was nothing else in there except for the bottle opener. People often do things for weird reasons, or no reason at all, and there's no reason to think it was any different in the Neolithic.

[@markwillies4330]

They also found the recipe dimwit

[@CatherineAKennedy]

oooooh - Phil didn't like Alan's 'bitch ain't one' joke...

[@BrianSmith-gp9xr]

Sea turtles were numerous and their eggs nutritious . Allowing migration along the coasts of Africa.

[@geoffgeoff143]

Chips

[@Gkc842]

First ever evidence if a feast found by archeologists not a definite first one.

[@RubelliteFae]

They don't even present evidence that the tortoises were butchered, cooked, and eaten on the same occasion. Their extraordinary claim only has ordinary evidence: www.pnas.org/content/107/35/15362

[@marvinkitfox3386]

69 Tortoises? Was that number picked for a reason?

[@Incurious_]

Five times. One in each corner and one in the middle.

[@timmclean-inglis9371]

Mc Donalds happy meals and coke

[@ogphaethon8917]

it only seems like it was a giant feast. If it was why was someone buried with the "feast" even if they died at the time of it or was it after the "feast" someone died there, either way it was faulty archeology/ ppl needing money made this story happen

[@annother3350]

They died after eating 69 tortoises

[@joshkaid]

"... And the bitch ain't one."

[@macsnafu]

What? They just ate tortoise? No nuts and berries on the side?

[@RubelliteFae]

There's no evidence of what they ate or even that it was a feast. The article should say "woman buried with carefully placed tortoise shells representing a minimum of 71 individual tortoises." Instead the authors presume a feast and make their further conclusions based on that. The tortoises were definitely butchered and most likely eaten. But them being caught, butchered, and cooked all on the same occasion is an extraordinary claim. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, which the paper does not present. www.pnas.org/content/107/35/15362

[@anydaynow]

The souls of the innocent. Thus the reset.

[@AB-gw6uf]

No turtles on the list? Shame.

[@Ryarios]

They come with their own pot to cook them in….

[@TheAznative101]

Sorry Allen no blue whales.

[@MikelNaUsaCom]

its not a blue whale tho.

[@RubelliteFae]

Sorry, what's the evidence that it was a feast? Maybe they were collected over the years and saved for use as bowls. Maybe they were used for divination (osteomancy). Maybe they were used in some sort of artistic way or as part of a game. We need more info to believe that they were specifically from a feast.

[@RubelliteFae]

Having read the article, I'm even more skeptical. www.pnas.org/content/107/35/15362 They make claims like, "The evidence suggests that the tortoises were killed and processed at the time of the interment of the woman in the grave," and "It was constructed for the burial of a unique elderly woman, most probably a shaman," without actually providing this evidence. For the former claim they give evidence that the tortoises were certainly butchered and cooked by humans, but no evidence that this was done on the same occasion. The woman was buried under most of the tortoise remains while two meters away a man was buried atop aurochs remains. Later in the same area of the world (the Eastern Mediterranean) bovines iconized as the symbol of masculinity and virility and (until the proliferation of the Hebrews) serpents were iconized as the symbol of femininity and fertility. Perhaps for these people the tortoise instead represented femininity (the tortoise & serpent coiled together is also not unheard of further East). Or, perhaps this woman in particular brought some special knowledge to these people about the usefulness of tortoises (as food as well as other uses for their shells and plastrons for example)-which is why people had saved them from previous meals. The point being that while there is plenty of evidence that they were consumed, it's impossible to say that they were all butchered, cooked, and consumed at the time of this woman's burial. Further, evidence that the tortoise and aurochs were likely seen in some special or sacred light is that we never find humans buried in middens (prehistoric refuse piles). It's not as though this woman died and the people around her had a feast and dumped their food waste in with her corpse. In fact the article explains how many of the tortoise parts are found lain out in their correct anatomical positions. And figure 2 shows that most of the shells (by far the majority of the contents of the burial) were placed with the bottoms pointing downward (and those which aren't are on the periphery of the burial stone and thus could have mistakenly overturned during burial). This indicates that they were important in some way and were care was taken to place them. The authors instead use circular logic claiming, "As mortuary rituals became larger in scale, increasingly public and formalized, the material remains including the trash associated with these events (“ceremonial trash,” cf. ref. 38) became more precious and worthy of special burial." In other words, "it must have been a feast (because we can't imagine anything else) and because it was a feast they buried their feast trash with the dead." As opposed to, "Because she was buried with them, tortoise bones must have held some significance for this woman and or her people (which they collected over years)." The authors even admit, "the capture of aurochs and/or 71 tortoises for a specific event represents a monumental undertaking." As for her being a shaman, I didn't find any evidence presented. 😔 Why do some archaeologists get so locked into one idea when there are so many possibilites? Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[@okeycokey2000]

I prefer this ending… sandy is an annoying scrub

[@kinsmed]

Umm... Stephen has been gone quite a while. And isn't a new series of QI on now?

[@lynx318therealone]

They're up to 'P' series.

[@spunky69able]

He really glazed over the whole point of story, what is he talking about how theres two missing? He just said nonsense

[@RubelliteFae]

Please explain

[@neiljohn622]

Is Phil Jupitus funny?? Really?? Exactly!

[@jpaxonreyes]

I haven't seen evidence of it.

[@Leelior]

this sadly reminds me of the dumb c*nt, that had rescued that tortoise and then dropped it in a pond or something thinking it was a turtle and could swim and consequentially murderd it. Poor thing drowned because of human ignorance... it gives me massive anxiety when animals get hurt or treated bad because of humans and of course my autism or whatever makes me remember every bad thing I see or/and hear, so I will never forget it... sigh.

[@kevinbennett7615]

Phil Jupitus doesn't appear to enjoy other people being funny.

[@waynemarvin5661]

Possibly expecting Alan to interrupt.

[@ralphturner3798]

I like the show, but I don't like the canned laughter.

[@Paulie151]

It sounds like that, because of the way they mic the show to hear the panelists. But they're all done in front of a live audience.

[@ralphturner3798]

@@Paulie151 Thanks, Paul

[@shidzngigglez]

Phil Jupitus isn't funny at all and just gets booked because his agent probably pays a lot of money.