r/AmITheA**hole For Not Giving Sperm to My Parents?

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP was married to a man who tragically passed away. They had frozen his sperm so that they could have a baby. However, OP lost all interest in having a baby once her husband passed away. The parents of OP's dead husband demand to have their son's frozen specimen so that they could hire a surrogate and have a grandchild. OP refuses, which leads to conflict in the family. Is OP the butthole in this situation?
🍑 r/AmITheA**hole For Firing My Spoiled Son After He Stole From My Company? • r/AmITheA**hole For Fi...
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"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), License: CC By Attribution 3.0

[@cheeseburgah563]

3rd story: even if op was super rich making custom hand made gifts is way more thoughtful and kind. Anyone can go to the store and buy the latest new toy but making them yourself? That's awesome

[@CuteLilEldritch1010]

As a person that specializes in handmade items, I can guarantee that they are NOT as easy as they look, they’re time consuming, need a lot of effort and even sometimes really expensive depending on materials.

[@theonesithtorulethemall]

Especsly since hes ritch If he has a lot of money nothing will sem expandiv or as if he investieren time if he buys them witch makes him look cheap while the hand made things have sentiment value instead

[@KumiChan2004]

Not completely the same but kind of. One of my hobbies is building Gunplas. I made a few for my brother. It takes hours of work to build one. And it can be super relaxing and chill when you get into it. But he loves them. I picked out ones that are his favorites. Also. 2 of my favorite things that I own are the blankets my grandma made me. She made quilts, the first one she ever made for me was a blanket that folds up into a pillow. It has a little city scape on it. I used to play with it all the time. The second is a pillow and blanket I asked her for. My request was all 'I want is something that you made'. She made me both a blanket and with the extra material she made me a pillow that matched. I asked her for this knowing she wouldn't be around much longer. And wanted something to remember her by. Man typing that about those blankets was harder than I thought. Thanks for reading. I miss her and my grandpa.

[@laciereinheart9490]

I totally agree! Honestly, if I handmade something for someone for a birthday or Christmas or something, and they look at it like it was cheap or worthless, it broke my heart... Ever since I got into college for my music, I've been waiting to see if somebody would get me something practical. A pack of guitar strings, or some cleaning, or wood shine spray, or picks, or a strap, or something...something I could use. They came to my graduation, claiming to be supportive, but I have never seen it. They've avoided all my live shows - which were FINAL EXAMS FOR THE ENSEMBLES, and PUBLIC - that I invited them to. They never called me before finals, telling me I could do it. No monetary assistance - which is fine; I'm not entitled to, nor do I want their money. No mail. No visits, despite them only being an hour away from the very start, and needing to go shopping in both the towns I've been in for college. But they support me...? Riiight. Excuse me while I try to decide if you even deserve an invitation to my Bachelor's graduation... I'm in English now, which both of them preferred me to be in, and still no support. I've never gotten support for my writing - which I've been doing since I was 11. My mom seems to think that my Redemption Series books are about "people from my favorite bands in a vampire story." No mom. I've told you on multiple occasions that the character DESIGNS are based on people from my favorite bands. But the overarching story is about a boy who is a follower of Christ, who gets around a bunch of people who aren't sure they know where they are in their faith life - including a gay couple - and just loves them like Jesus would, no matter their backgrounds or beliefs. Nothing I do is important to them. A practical gift for a writer would be a Thesaurus. I've needed one of those for ten years! I would cherish it... I'm VP of my school's Creative Writing Club now, so if I have extra money a couple of months from now, I'm going to see if I can purchase my own Thesaurus... Thank you to anyone who listened to my rant. I believe homemade gifts or thoughtful ones are a million times more important than anything. I try to ask my little sister what each of her kids likes every year, because my eldest niece went from enjoying barbies most at 5 to getting into rocks, and their different colors and such at 6. They got her a tiny "geologist" (I think that's the person who digs up/studies rocks, right))?) kit with like, pumice? Or something. But it encased a bunch of rocks that resembled gemstones, and she had a little hammer to dig them out. I thought that was so cool... I just really want to support my *n-children and their dreams, since my family wouldn't support mine... Y'all, if you made it this far, sorry for the rant, and thank you for hearing me out. You're awesome. Don't be afraid to be different. Stand up for yourself, your dreams, and what you love. I believe in you - You can do this!!! Edit: *n-children is a phrase I use for my nieces and nephews. It doubles for the n in niece/nephew, and also for 'not'. This is because I helped raise every one of them apart from Braileigh and Elliot, who were from my little sister's current boyfriend, who is trying to get through the legal system and her Karen shenanigans, to divorce her sorry turd butt. So there's that definition. 😄

[@jonathanhowells7864]

Some people never understand setimental value

[@MiraTheWarlock]

SIL seems perfectly okay with letting her husband steal from her son to provide for his own kids. She's not a victim in this, and insisting she is is enabling

[@cervonic]

My thoughts exactly

[@steveelpro]

Yeah but rslash had to whiteknight as per usual

[@kdsfhkljfnsdfo1323]

Last story: the sister is even MORE wrong because she claims that "OP made the dinner about her and her husband instead of about me and my husband". But dude. The dinner WASN'T about you and your husband, it was for OP's husband's birthday. So it literally WAS about them, you just tried to make it about you.

[@whyamihere1563]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. It was OP's husband birthday dinner NOT celebration of her another croch goblin.

[@LinoshTheHaloGamer]

EXACTLY! Stop stealing the thunder!

[@nonyabiz2013]

I read the OG post and the sister sand family are completely aware of teh issue, in fact the husbands parent have contributed to the IVF fund. SIL claimed to be done after the second child but continues to have babies.

[@sweetkairamell6304]

@@nonyabiz2013 Sooo she is BIG AH, not just 1,5/5, but I would say 4/5

[@anintendaruser8344]

Another big issue is that the parents said that "none of this was supposed to happen." (About 15:25) To me, that implies that they were aware of the pregnancy already and didn't shut the sister-in-law up when she announced the pregnancy.

[@superprincessgem1]

The fifth story: The SIL is completely the AH. Keep in mind this dinner was *FOR THE HUSBAND*. This wasn’t a dinner to celebrate a pregnancy. SIL made it about her not only with her comments but regarding the dinner as “their” dinner (meaning the SIL and the husband). It seems like SIL knows about their fertility issues, and regardless of the situation, SIL was rubbing her pregnancy in the face of OP AND OP’s husband and took over his birthday dinner.

[@syrefayne8922]

I agree! "Oh look at me I'm sooo fertile haha"

[@AzureKyle]

@@syrefayne8922 Yeah, it's literally the suffering in success meme

[@CSKaras]

God, I would have told her congratulations on making the decision to get her tubes tied after the delivery of this one since she is soooo tired of being soooo fertile and since all those contraceptives don't work and husband refuses to wrap it up. After all, sterilization would be the next step, and hubby can get a vasectomy, too.

[@someone1981m]

Well, you could be wrong here. The SIL started by saying it was rude to walk out after all the hard work the parents did for the diner. Then followed up that she was making it all about her instead of them. I feel the 'them' would refer to the parents here, not SIL and her husband. Still wrong, but not as bad as what is assumed.

[@AzureKyle]

@@someone1981m Regardless, it's not about the parents, it's about OP's husband, since it was his birthday dinner. And the SIL made it about her and her husband by constantly talking about their pregnancy, knowing full well that OP and her husband, the person the dinner was for, were having fertility issues.

[@jeremiahtomcanin487]

I personally think that she does deserve a higher score. She even back peddled when she said that she did like the toys, after she said she agreed to her husband. She basically insulted op's craftsmanship.

[@GTSE2005]

What matters in gifts is the effort and love that is put in which was not appreciated

[@GiordanDiodato]

she's not much of a problem, the husband is.

[@theonesithtorulethemall]

@@GiordanDiodato nah shes a major Problem the husband is just faar worse

[@ReigoVassal]

@@GiordanDiodato they're basically equal.

[@kinghaus]

She’s basically allowing his behavior, and she’s also being an asshole, I don’t care if it’s after her husband.

[@pamelalejeune2424]

To the last story. The party wasn't even for the sister in law. It was for OP's husbands birthday. SIL made it all about her.

[@abicat4229]

Exactly! It's so mind boggling that people think that this is an acceptable thing to do at a celebration for someone else. Like it's one thing if SIL cleared it with OP and her husband and they were cool with it, but it sounds like she did it to spite them imo

[@puweh]

AND MADE HIM CRY ARE WE GUNNA LIKE.. FORGET? made him cry at HIS BDAY

[@TetraSky]

Third story : That's just sad... They totally just want the money, the new husband likely doesn't care much for your nephew and I wouldn't be surprised if your SIL put your nephew aside when her twins are born, too. They don't appreciate that what they have now, is all due to your brother who passed away. They think they are entitled to everything because of that. Especially her new husband. NTA.

[@mask938]

If the SIL and her douchebag husband start neglecting the nephew when the twins are born, then OP should start fighting for custody of his nephew. OP would make a far better parent than those entitled twats.

[@alphagamerdragon7027]

For real even if I had a family member that was rich I would prefer coustom made gifts instead of gifts from the store because it would make the gift more special but I would be happy with anything

[@RhiannonSmudge]

For the story with the dad complaining about Uber prices: Has that guy been living under a rock? Does he not know that there are creeps out there who would gladly take advantage of a 16 year old girl given the chance? He’s either got some messed up priorities or needs reality to slap him in the face

[@gou0630]

I agree like what the actual F? Have you seen how many girls get hurt just because they stayed where they weren't safe? Like how they get blamed when they say I saw them use dr*** "whY dID yOu sTaY?" Who charges their own children for transportation? 🤯🤯

[@jeremeyshriner7764]

Totally agree. If it was something like 'i wanna go to the mall' or 'my friends want to hang out and can't pick me up', then i could see asking for at least a part of the uber cost. Just as a way to make sure she understands that entertainment has costs. But safety pickups should never need paid back.

[@nationalinstituteofcheese3012]

It’s one thing to not like someone, it’s another thing to be UNCOMFORTABLE around someone

[@codeblackfanandthegooddoct7070]

Especially to the point where you would leave the location rather than avoid that person or people​@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012

[@TheLalacream]

OP brought a HANDMADE swingset for their nephew's birthday, that they made themself!! My niece, my sister, and sister's SO would be thrilled. The audacity of that SIL

[@ZaynahZihoa]

Also, OP's "lackeys" installed it? AKA OP is a business owner with people working under them. New husband was probably emasculated, douche can't even pay for his own kids.

[@Veronique2001]

First story: I understand where you're coming from Rslash, but you know what it would probably end up being? A replacement. They're greving, trying to find a way to handle the pain, a baby to replace their loss would hurt everyone in the situation.

[@qualityrivolt4406]

Nah

[@kiralatham7137]

True, and imagine how the wife would feel knowing her recently deceased husband is having a child with another woman that he'll never even know about just so his DNA can be passed down. I would feel so dehumanized, like I'm no good as a wife because I didn't want to have an unknown child with my now-dead husband. It's sick.

[@mattboniface598]

I completely agree! They're grieving too and before they die, they'd like to see some remnants of their only son in the world still. And according to OP, they "asked". Nobody used the word, 'pressured'. They weren't chain calling OP day after day saying, "Where our son's jizz at?!". They're allowed to grieve and try to hang on to their son's memory too.

[@mataeri]

Honestly, I was more - surprised, and uuuh disguste - that OP included "siblings" in the surrogate list? like even just including a cusin is VERY questionable like Alabama quesitonable, redneck style

[@_.-._.-.]

​@@mataerithey were talking about who would RAISE the child, not who would carry the pregnancy

[@Goabnb94]

Wooden toys and furniture are not easy to make. They aren't "small things" to do for family, they are incredibly intricate, time consuming, and take a lot of costly materials. Do you want a rough sawn, splintery bed frame made from treated (read carcinogenic chemicals) that falls apart? Or custom made wooden items made with love?

[@QuietChaos1996]

I'll take the second option, please? X'D

[@shinymainespoon]

That's a really good point

[@wireseatsgarlic]

I once made a birthday present for my sibling out of wood and that took some time and work but that didnt even have any nails or something so i cant even emagine how much you would need to do for a bigger project...

[@AngelWingsTVdavcs]

I would love something handmade and I love doing that for others. I just painted my friend’s cat last night and gifted the piece to her and her boyfriend. The happiness I could see in them was all I needed.

[@clarky23]

I'm an amature woodworker. You are totally spot on. I've made gifts for people, especially children, in the past and usually got great comments and praise over my work. Once though, I made some marionettes for three kids as Christmas presents to a new couple in the neighborhood. The kids seemed to love them, everyone at the event thought they were great. But i later found out that the parents said they'd never seen anyone so cheap as to make something instead of buying. About three or four months later, the mother asked if I could make her some more. I asked why if they thought my gifts were cheap. She actually said, my sister's children would love them and it would only take like what, a hour to do?? I just hung up and blocked her number.

[@teayabrown3924]

"You're selfish! You ruined our celebration!" But, it wasn't you're celebration. It was your brother's. You made a night that was supposed to be about him all about you, rubbing it in with the one thing he desperately wants but is struggling to get. Really?

[@tiredman99]

I'm glad OP has control of his Nephew's trust fund

[@TheLalacream]

Aswell as OP's mother standing up for him

[@spicydiarrhea5662]

I'm not - because completely unrelated stranger's kid DESERVES IT! >:(

[@SoldierSpiderx]

and that also told me Op brother didn't trust SIL with that money so he gave Op full control of the money before he pass

[@GattaiHeroes]

@@SoldierSpiderx yeah, if anything, if SIL is going to let her husband say he'll take the trust fund money from a 3 year old kid. I think it's time to consider putting the kid into OP's custody, just so she'll know he's in good care. Because a true man's duty is taking care and providing for his family, INCLUDING the kid he decided to marry into.

[@vickiechandler3112]

yeah...and he needs to stop shelling out 10 grand of it a year for nephew. Put a freeze or moritorium on it and if the mama baby needs something to provide for the kid make her do a detailed report on everything it is spent on. Down to a roll of TP . Pay her back out of the fund AFTER she submits receipts. Not like she has housing costs .(whose name is the house actually in anyway ) So other than utilities (split those up between kid and others in house and only pay for kid ) she has no costs there when it comes to kid. 10 grand a year is a LOT for a 3 year olds upkeep.

[@Sorchia56]

We told our kids to call ANYTIME they felt uncomfortable or if they drank too much, we’d come get them. No questions asked. They are in their 20’s and the deal still holds. A 16 year old smart enough to gauge a bad situation is amazing and to have to pay for getting out of that situation is completely ridiculous! Blimey, OP doesn’t just deserve a 5/5, he blew the meter up! Charge him, RSLASH!

[@GTSE2005]

If my kid felt unsafe and used an Uber to escape the situation, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I would even THINK about making her pay me. In fact, I would be proud of her (maybe even reward her) for being able to escape the situation on her own which is a sign of independence. Edit: why are there 2 mini wars in the reply thread

[@GTSE2005]

@Chris G Some details could be missing, so we are not sure what exactly the daughter was thinking.

[@SaraSG1]

@Chris G yes but the mother already said she don't have to. at that point I think it's between the wife and op. it's not fair to the daughter who was told at the time she wouldn't have to pay when she chose to say yes to the Uber. and then to come back later and say see has to pay. now whether mom should have said that I don't know.

[@ethanmacleod1721]

@Chris G as far as I can read in the post is that they made her “uncomfortable” and I assume that for her to be so uncomfortable as to call an Uber to leave (with the pretence of paying for it) that the other party must have done something to make her so alarmed by their arrival. I agree we don’t know enough from the story, but I think OP is TA because he didn’t even give his daughter the benefit of the doubt. By implying that she should still pay it says he either doesn’t trust what his daughter says or believes she’s incapable of evaluating situations (Or he just doesn’t care for her immediate wellbeing, but that is contradictory to the rest of the post)

[@enbiaroace]

@Chris G Are you really just finding any reason to blame her? She was uncomfortable, thus left the situation. This is why victims struggle to share their stories.

[@enbiaroace]

@Chris G She's a victim of a terrible father lmao.

[@Tim85-y2q]

Story 2: emphatically YTA. OP's wife is right that kids should always know they can get themselves out of a potentially dangerous situation without fear of getting punished. That's exactly how teens end up in terrible situations.

[@GTSE2005]

The third story: NTA. To me, what matters more about presents is not the monetary value, but rather the hard work and effort that is put in. And wow. OP's SIL is very entitled. OP put in the hard work to make the gifts, they were rejected and called an embarrassment just because of its monetary value. A really butthole-ish move. I think the SIL deserves 3/5 buttholes. Also, yup, the true villian is the SIL's husband.

[@jonathanhowells7864]

Money and value are not similar to each other just because something didn't cost a lot of money doesn't mean it's not valuable

[@theavatarofinsanity]

Completely agree. She may not deserve quite as mich as her husband but 1.5 is too generous.

[@beverlywhitman303]

i was thinking he should put a monetary value on those toys as the time he put in is worth as least minimum wage (+materials) and it takes hours to craft wooden toys sometimes, so they could be worth quite a bit, but then i thought if he did the SIL husband would probably try and sell them so... maybe it's good he didn't.

[@Kindelwyrm2]

Ironically, those handmade toys and furniture were probably worth more than most things the OP could've bought. Handmade stuff ain't cheap, yo. Husband of SIL likely just wanted the cash.

[@AdamTheLeviathan]

Is zhongli ok

[@superoriginalname2851]

"Its not really hurting anyone" except maybe the kid that will get born into who knows what family. How would a kid conceived like that feel?

[@TheWeaponshold]

Also "what other option did they have" Oh I dunno to TALK TO THEIR SON THAT THEY KNEW HAD CANCER AND FROZEN SPERM ABOUT THIS BEFORE HE DIED?! Just a thought R/slash. Seriously this was a 5/5 asshole move in my eyes because they clearly KNEW about this before he died and chose to wait until after while his wife is grieving to bring this possibility up.

[@banditnmbr087]

Yes this. You should never use children for selfish reasons. You are basically giving the kid issues before they are born.

[@TheGamersfolly]

That's a risk all children have though?

[@superoriginalname2851]

@@TheGamersfolly you really think creating a child who will effectively have no parents, is a good choice? Or at least one that doesn't pose specific significant challenges?

[@TheGamersfolly]

@@superoriginalname2851 this comment kind of blew me away and it took me a moment. Do you really think that a couple who is struggling with their own fertility would treat a kid differently over blood? Or they'd just pop it out in a tube and born an orphan? Like, wtf goes on in your head? You sound like the typical "doomer" who thinks having children is akin to committing genocide. This kind of thing happens all the time.

[@tjg813]

The handmade toy story feels like that guy only married and knocked up op’s ex-SIL because he thought it would guarantee he could get his hands into that $500k trust fund. I wonder if that guy is going to leave now that he realizes he doesn’t get a free ride off of stepkid’s trust fund.

[@briangarrow448]

I’ve seen it happen in my little hometown.

[@melissaconnellyjones2622]

That's what I was thinking too.

[@velvety2006]

certainly sounds like it.

[@evadedenbach1226]

The SIL and her new husband were robbing her nephew of his trust fund. Why didn't do done go to the police or an attorney that specializes in this? Then put a freeze on the trust.

[@cheeseycarp5364]

@@velvety2006 in the story, op states that they can’t just take out Money from the fund, they need OP’s signature

[@bethelzebub5216]

In the last story, it sounded like she was openly taunting OP

[@melissaconnellyjones2622]

Oh she was. Infertility and treatments are a full time job and take their toll on a couple. I guarantee the SIL knew about it.

[@wwhite2958]

@@melissaconnellyjones2622 I whole heartily agree with this. My wife and i spent 3 years going through ivf and failure after failure. It nearly pushed us to bankruptcy and divorce. Alot of people have no idea what you actually go through. One thing that is always annoying is everyone saying just stop trying it will happen when they have no clue what the actual problem is.

[@mask938]

@@wwhite2958 Could you maybe use a donor embryo instead? You'd still be giving birth to a child that way.

[@wwhite2958]

@@mask938 wife has issue with the egg binding and staying. We are currently looking into a surrogate.

[@mask938]

@@wwhite2958 Ok. Good luck!

[@hagnat]

2nd story... it tells a lot about OP's personality that he values more a uber ride than his relation with his daughter

[@1985toyotacamry]

It's very telling

[@mizer0]

...and this is how pampered children are raised..

[@jasonpritchett2043]

@@mizer0 did your parents never say to you you call for whatever reason to get you out of a situation no questions asked

[@maddie9789]

@@mizer0 sorry what? that’s how children have a good relationship with their parents actually. if you punish a child for wanting to be safe and comfortable, they will resent you and it puts them in danger. i have a feeling you’re exactly like the guy in the story, shameful. do better

[@1985toyotacamry]

@@mizer0 it's not pampered if they are uncomfortable or in danger.

[@BobBlumenfeld]

"His sister, on the other hand ... told me it was rude to ... spoil the celebration of a pregnancy." Umm. Just what was the celebration supposed to be about in the first place? Husband's birthday, right? SIL sounds like a narcissist.

[@gaxalee7392]

“AITA for caring more about Uber money than my daughter’s safety and trust?” Rslash is right about Op’s mentality creating a dangerous precedent. Teenagers are safest when they can trust and count on their parents, and Op would rather stomp on that than spend money. She isn’t likely to call Op going forward, and that could end up getting her really hurt. Also, can we talk about him talking about her being uncomfortable with certain people around as just “not liking certain people” and just being so dismissive about it.

[@chrisreed26]

The story said that some people that the daughter did not like showed up so she wanted to leave..it never said she was in danger or about to be raped!! She a teen felt that she should not have to be around others that she did not like..well hun life is full of times when you have to be around others we dont like!

[@KorinIta]

@@chrisreed26 read the story again

[@brightwriter]

I'm not sure about your anti-OP opinion. I remember being totally responsible when I (male) was in that age range, often smarter and more responsible than people who were overseeing me. And I have two daughters who recently became adults. You won't be able to plead "you don't understand these people" if you disagree with me. That said, Rslash is correct that leaving a girl to her cruel fate instead of paying for transportation is wrong and will inspire distrust and the future taking of risks instead of extricating herself from possible danger. But bailing her out without compensation? Giving her literally a free ride when she makes mistakes in social judgment and gets into bad situations that call for rescues? If either of my daughters did that, then I would pay for taxi fare, but would then instead of giving her a shakedown for reimbursement I would insist on a talk in which she and I discuss social situations and how to assess them and explain that it is important to learn how to anticipate and parry those that are likely to become dangerous. I pay, she learns, life goes on. Rslash is at fault here not for condemning OP, who I think did wrong, but for refusing to address the cause of his daughter's blundering into a bad social situation and the need to instruct her on how to avoid them in the future. She won't be a child forever. And recall that two and a half centuries ago, people would be expected to acquire adult responsibilities well before the age of 16 so I won't accept any counterarguments about how she is too young to learn these concepts. We need to remain aware that youth and femaleness are often used as privilege cards, as contrivances to evade responsibility. Rslash has fallen into this trap of modern political correctness.

[@gaxalee7392]

@@chrisreed26 She felt so unsafe that her mother refuses to abide by the family rule and charge her daughter for the Uber. The only perspective we have is the dad/husband who thinks his wife and daughter is being ridiculous.

[@PogonaV]

@@chrisreed26 Exactly, everyone is reading this story as if it's more than 2 groups of teenage girls that don't like eachother. I'm sure if his daughter was actually in danger I doubt he would have made this post.

[@mom5catskyle596]

The OP who has the nephew with the trust fund has to be very careful now about giving any out to the former sister-in-law because of her husband. While she may say it's for the nephew, it may well be that her husband is forcing her to say that in order to pay for his two kids. So if OP does give money to the sister-in-law, he better be sure and get and itemized receipt that proves that money was spent on the nephew and not on the new husband's two kids.

[@ImNotaRussianBot]

For sure. Make her give documentation for the needs and then pay directly. I don't want that woman having her hands in that cash.

[@morgandouglas6014]

RSlash has a point about the second OP. What if the daughter escaped from an abductor or serial killer, etc.? Would he charge her Uber money for that? What happens if she’s found dead because she was lost in the woods or being chased by a dangerous person and decided to fend for herself because her dad wanted to charge her Uber money to pick her up?

[@randomaccount64]

Exactly and when op said "she pays us every time" yeah that's fine when she just wants a ride cause she doesn't want to walk but op said thier daughter was uncomfortable with the people that showed up. Their daughter has the right to feel safe and comfortable and should have the feeling that she can trust her parents "Oh you felt uncomfortable and unsafe. Oh well pay us or your on your own" Like also as rslash said with her when she's at a party and drunk if she can't call her parents theres chances of 1.Getting hurt by people at the bar 2. Drunk driving 3. Making very very stupid choices 4. Getting in a car with a Stanger 5. Getting in a car with friends that could also possibly be drunk And there is still so many

[@bryn1063]

@@randomaccount64 Completely agree, that father cares more about money than his daughters own safety, I can't imagine sinking that low.

[@randomaccount64]

@@bryn1063 exactly if that was my daughter I wouldn't have made her pay for it cause she was around people she was uncomfortable about. But if it was because she wanted to leave because it was "boring" I'd make her pay but that wasn't the situation

[@bobthehouseplant5152]

Also It sounds like Op in this story tried to downplay WHY she wasn’t comfortable. Like when Op says “ppl she didn’t like”.

[@Darkloid21]

I think there is too much we don’t know. 4/5 is too much for so little information, but OP isn’t in the right though.

[@razzytack]

the first story: I don't understand the obsession with blood relations. He's dead. Those children *won't* be his children. They'll be the children of whoever adopts them. If the parents want children, they can just adopt. Bringing children into this world only for the sake of "furthering the family line" is just creepy. Asking is creepy. He's dead. He can't consent to that. He only consented to having children *with his wife*

[@diabologue]

ok

[@allisoncastle]

@@diabologueGreat counter argument bud

[@diabologue]

@@allisoncastlethis comment was literally half a year ago. i don’t give a fuck about this anymore 😭 plus it was a year ago

[@allisoncastle]

@@diabologue Again, not an argument lol.

[@diabologue]

@@allisoncastleagain, i wasn’t making an argument in the first place, my comment literally just says “ok.” 💀

[@pumpkinpatch2203]

the story about the uber, it's very clear that the dad has no idea how dangerous the world can be for a young girl

[@animemonarch8372]

Its clear the they did not specify the situation. The only words used to describe the situation is uncomfortable. From that words it appears the OPs daughter just didn't like the people she was around and wanted to leave

[@trenxh6800]

it depends on the reason on why his daughter felt uncomfortable if she was being followed or she saw somebody watching her, he’s 100% a butt hole but if she just didn’t like where she was, or with what people he’s not the butt hole

[@LaineMann]

Exactly this. It depends on WHY these people make her uncomfortable. If she’s uncomfortable because they sexually harass her, then OP is definitely an asshole. But if the only reason why they make her uncomfortable is because she dislikes them then she needs to learn that she can’t bail on social commitments JUST because someone she doesn’t like is in the room.

[@unoriginalquote8132]

@@LaineMann well you usually don't use the word "uncomfortable" if you just dislike somebody. And there are other situations where being uncomfortable with someone would be a good reason to leave, like they mistreated her or her friends or were known to indulge in illegal stuff. (I'm sure you weren't trying to say sa was the only reason, I'm just pointing it out.) It just feels weird that he didn't give any more information, and in the comments of the original post he wouldn't directly answer anyone's questions about it. Idk it just gave me a really bad feeling once I looked it up

[@CRSB00]

about last story, there's gushing about your new kid and there's "oh I'm so fertile we don't even have to have s-x to get pregnant", I get the feeling that SIL definitively knew and was rubbing it on op's face

[@fasshahtout8563]

Dude if my daughter called me saying she was uncomfortable I wouldn't order an Uber I'd drive there myself

[@charminglady2011]

Right? My dad would have got me. I remember a couple of times my dad did that and mom was up and waiting for us so we could talk about it if I needed them. I think we lost our humanity somehow with modern conveniences. Mom did well taking daughter to dinner to talk

[@bigclown23]

Not every parent can do that and there's a difference between uncomfortable and unsafe

[@charminglady2011]

@@bigclown23 yes, but as a teen, the two words mean the same. I used that word and frankly put I was in danger. I didn't know that until the aftermath.

[@bigclown23]

@@charminglady2011 Lol no. As a teen uncomfortable and unsafe do not mean even remotely the same thing unless you're a dainty person that can't deal with even the smallest situation that life throws at you. I'm sorry that you misused that word when you were a kid but being near someone who you had beef with or who you don't like because of their personality isn't the same as being around drugs or people with guns

[@charminglady2011]

@@bigclown23 lol ok apparently you don't get that sometimes a teen while scared may downplay a situation over the phone in case others are listening. And my story I was uncomfortable, by the time dad got there it escalated to dangerous. But go off assume that this is a mean girls situation.

[@silverflight01]

Last Story: Nobody I know would be comfortable with SIL talking about that kind of stuff. And plus, it was OP's Husband's birthday, so the day was about him, not SIL.

[@whatismylatestobsession350]

First story: ''They are not hurting anyone'' - Well, they want to put a kid into the world, without their parents (if they use a surrogate, I'm assuming she won't be their mother) As far as we know, this is not something they've discussed with their son beforehand, so yes, I kinda think this is weird and creepy and completely unnecessary considering the state of the world

[@bazej6028]

its fcked up

[@pugmcmuffins9282]

Not to mention that they have no back up plan should they both kick the bucket. Do they expect OP to take care of the child? That is just so damn cruel. They are not thinking this through at all. What's the point of continuing the blood line if the child gets orphaned? What of the child's happiness and well being in this huge possibility? Irresponsible, reckless and selfish.

[@radhiadeedou8286]

I was 100% with you until you said "the state of the world"

[@whatismylatestobsession350]

@@radhiadeedou8286 I might have worded it wrong, so let me clarify: I don't think it's necessary to but a child into the world, who essentially doesn't have any 'parents', when there's so many children without parents already. That might still be controversial, but I just wanted to clarify, because English isn't my native language and I do tend to word things awkwardly at times!

[@jenniferofholliston5426]

But they aren't necessarily going to use the sperm. They just don't want her to destroy it yet. I'm with R Slash - understandable, but weird.

[@krazycats564]

I feel like Rslash is way more protective over little girls since the baby. It's absolutely adorable.

[@raidernation7427]

2nd story: I was thinking the exact same thing as u were reading: forcing the daughter to pay for the Uber would discourage her from calling the next time she feels uncomfortable.

[@animemonarch8372]

The story never specified if the situation was dangerous they just said uncomfortable.

[@ripronnica7030]

@@animemonarch8372 tbh it doesn’t matter if the daughter was unsafe in the first story, what mattered is that she was uncomfortable. So the point is, next time she’s out and she doesn’t feel comfortable, she won’t call her parents. Which doesn’t only hurt their relationship but might actually hurt her, as that uncomfortable situation can turn unsafe.

[@animemonarch8372]

@@ripronnica7030 Yes it does what if she was just uncomfortable and safe. Since it was not specified why she was uncomfortable we can't provide an accurate decision if the father was the Ahole. What if his daughter just didn't like the people or did not know them well and wanted to leave. From what the father said it seems Uber is expensive to him and I believe that his daughter has asked for a Uber enough times for him to make a rule about it. It is would not be fair to the father to pay every time his daughter feel even a little bit uncomfortable. If the situation his daughter was in was dangerous the the would be the Ahole

[@ripronnica7030]

@@animemonarch8372 again, the concern is for future situations. Situations where the daughter is not only uncomfortable but unsafe. If OP insists on making his daughter pay, then she won’t call them next time and she’ll be in danger. And on the Uber thing, it seems like the daughter has been okay with that rule, just not this time because her mother told her it would be okay. It’s true we can’t decide if he’s a full Ahole in this situation given the information, but we can still say it’s important for OP to not punish his daughter for relying on him to get home safe in an uncomfortable situation.

[@deaththekid201]

@@animemonarch8372 I do agree with you being adult sometimes u do need be around people you just don't like and you need learn that if it was dangerous they should pay but now where i think dad ahole is the decision was that he tried go back on mom who already decided that she should not pay so he should stuck with that

[@clarky23]

the story on the couple with fertility issues. The evening was about the brother's birthday. That alone should give her at least 1.5/5. Especially since this was their SIXTH pregnancy. They could have waited another day to make the announcement. This was definitely about making it the night about HER instead of her brother, or even the pregnancy. Also, my guess is the sister KNOWS about their issues and was just rubbing salt in the wounds. I know how this feels because I was never able to have children and it actually cost me relationships in my life. Personally, I'd say 4 out of 5 a$$holes.

[@velvety2006]

I would have been rude and said 'wow number six, isn't time to get fixed now, or are you gonna expect financial support for the fact that you don't know what a condom is?'

[@beckyhartley9502]

@@velvety2006 "wow 6? It should be an easy birth since they'll just fall right out at this point!"

[@ZaynahZihoa]

@@velvety2006 "You know humans aren't supposed to have 'litters', right?"

[@theavatarofinsanity]

I think that the sister in law deserves a higher score. Like, sure her husband is probably the bigger butthole, but she still openly supported his oppinion and then backpaddled only after she realized that she burned good will with op. Its not quite beyond fixing but she'll have to put a lot of work in to repair thet relationship.

[@flowrdawg8485]

Yeh but in can be manipulation from the husband's influence

[@astartea8426]

@@flowrdawg8485 The fact that she left her husband manipulate her, destroying their years long relationship.... I'm sorry, she is just as guilty to me...

[@flowrdawg8485]

@@astartea8426 Oh she left the husband? I thought he died

[@astartea8426]

@@flowrdawg8485 Sorry If my phrasing was confusing ir wrong. English is not my first language. What I meant is, these 2 ladies had a good relationship for years... but the new husband appears, and all of a sudden, the SIL doesn't like the presents and expects more??

[@flowrdawg8485]

@@astartea8426 Yeh my point is the husband could possibly manipulative and changes her mindset into something toxic

[@dwntomylstbraincell]

okay that second story was honestly horrifying, like OP is going to put his own daughter at risk just because it inconvenienced him. all three of my parents would never let that happen, if no-one they knew was available, they would pay any amount of money for me just to make sure i was safe and feeling okay. the fact that OP is basically saying he would let op be in a really dangerous situation that might end up with his daughter being badly hurt, or worse killed because she didn't have money to pay you is baffling to me, like this is the child that they are supposed to love and care for, why would you do that for them? its so mind boggling why any parent would have that mindset, 5/5 buttholes form me. ( also don't mind the spelling and grammar mistakes lol, wrote this at 2am

[@mask938]

I fully agree. OP has his priorities all wrong. He should be more concerned about his daughter's safety than the money he'd spend to get her an Uber. Side note: How do you have three parents?

[@floofykawaii]

Bro, parents are like that sometimes. I had a man follow me and my younger siblings for several blocks (he'd purposely stop to let us get in front of him so he could still follow us; my gut was telling me I and my siblings were in danger and that I had to protect us. We'd stop to let him pass and the guy would wait and stare at us until we kept walking and then he'd start walking behind us again), and I didn't know what to do, so we just booked it to the nearest shopping center, because at the time, I thought it'd be best to be somewhere where there's a lot of people instead of letting a creepy man follow us home. I called my mom to please pick us up, and she was so annoyed because I was making her drive three whole minutes (or less) to get us. She dead ass said if I was truly afraid, I should've called the police and let them do their job instead of calling her and disrupting her from mopping. Mopping was more important to my mom than making sure her daughters and son could get away from a man who was stalking them. When she picked us up, she just reaffirmed she was angry we wasted her time and made her wait (we went into a store so we didn't have to wait outside and risk this guy saying or doing something to us). So I'm not surprised other parents would prioritize things like money or time over their children.

[@dwntomylstbraincell]

@@mask938 exactly!! like they could always make the money back, even if it takes a little bit of time. the safety of children is more important than inconveniences and ones my stepdad, but i still consider him my parent anyway, because hes been in the family for a huge chunk of my life and has helped us with a lot of things

[@dwntomylstbraincell]

​@@floofykawaii and this as the person that is supposed to care for you??? i honestly feel so sorry that happened to you, hope it doesn't happen again. it still doesn't make any sense as too why people don't put their kids first, three minutes isn't a lot of time wasted, you did make the right call though because your life is more important than your mum being mad at you ( sorry if i made it sound offensive, i tried to be as nice as possible )

[@mask938]

@@dwntomylstbraincell Ok.

[@MarchingGhost13]

For the step brother story - a few months ago I was in a car accident, my car was totaled. The other driver went through a stop sign while I had the right of way, he also did not have a full license and was driving alone. If things had been slightly different I probably would have been seriously injured or dead. So hearing someone say it would be good experience for that to happen pisses me off. The step bro could have killed someone by doing that.

[@chuuu4610]

With story 2: Even if the situation with the other people wasn’t a risk of kidnapping, dangerous drugs or assault, OP’s daughter deserves to have her dad recognize her feelings and perception of discomfort as real. Different people experience things differently. There’s too much we don’t know to judge perfectly, but what if she struggles with some sort of mental health issues? What if she gets bullied and this argument trivialize her struggles? Why normalize needing to feel horrible without means to escape? Even if you want to teach your child to deal with uncomfortable situations you should not write them off and encourage them not to ask for help. If you experience workplace harassment/bullying, you should know how to get help from your lawyer, union or HR. I agree with the point about the wife too. The wife would’ve given her a drive and the uber in that situation isn’t any different from her mother giving her a ride.

[@beckyhartley9502]

I feel like RSlash only remembered what the "celebration" was actually for right at the end of his rant on the last story, he was so hung up on the '"I'm a parent" and fertility thing he'd almost skipped the obvious.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

If the grandparents want to "continue the family line" that badly, they should use an egg donor, grandpa's sperm, and a surrogate and leave OP alone. (Hopefully they don't though, because kind of unhinged and the poor baby would be in a really unfortunate situation.)

[@debbymccormack6525]

You know what's more expensive than an Uber? A funeral. Would she have to pay for that too?

[@1985toyotacamry]

Hell even hospital bills in the United States can be expensive as hell

[@LeannStephens]

So I (25f) am a military spouse without kids. Whenever I meet a new spouse that has kids, the first thing they always ask is "when are you having kids?" FYI: Never. Well I met another spouse (27f) a little over a year ago that has a son and I later learned that he is a rainbow baby. And since I've known her, she's lost 3 pregnancies. Our husband's wanted us to meet and we hung out a couple times while the guys were gone. The last time I hung out with her (before I knew about the losses) she asked me when I plan on having kids since I'm so good with her son. "You would make a great momma!" I thought nothing of it so I went through my usual routine. I laughed, said how much I hate the idea of having my own kid, and how I've tried every year to get 'fixed' but the doctors always deny me. I'm happy being an auntie to all my nieces and nephews whether they are blood or not. Well she hated that. Started going off (not yelling but stern) on how great being a mother was and that I'm losing my opportunity. I just though she was another one of those "woman need to have children" people. I brushed it off and changed the topic. The rest of the visit was fine after that in my opinion. But apparently not. She never invited me over after that and stopped responding to texts. Wasn't a big deal to me so I just gave up and moved on. I didn't know why she blocked me off until her next loss and learned about it all. At first I felt bad but then I didn't because why ask if the topic is such a sensitive one? Was she hoping I also had issues and that's why I've been married for 4 yrs without a kid? I'm under the rule of don't ask if you don't want an honest answer.

[@taliabettendorf1949]

If this is your story, I'd say you better hope she doesn't tamper with your birth control

[@LA-mz1dd]

Nah, I wouldn't feel bad. She brought the topic up and despite her tragic losses, there was no need to take her trauma out on you or how you live your life. I'm also childfree but then whenever I'm asked I just say it's not for me and if they pressure for more info, I just repeat 'it's just not for me'. But, ya, that's one of the things I can't stand, people but into your business then get upset when they don't like the way you choose to live.

[@LeannStephens]

@@taliabettendorf1949 I haven't seen her since that last visit so no way she can tamper with my birth control thankfully. The hubby is turning 26 soon and "being barely 25" was the only reason the doc said he was denying a vasectomy. So we'll hopefully have a permanent solution soon. Really wish doctors would stop denying us the right to not want kids.

[@LeannStephens]

@@LA-mz1dd I'm fine with them asking that first time and even going into detail on why I don't want my own kid. But it's the "you'll change your mind eventually" that really gets my blood boiling. Like, no the fuck I won't.

[@LA-mz1dd]

@@LeannStephens ohhhh, that one drives me up the wall too!

[@sagagrace9957]

Long time listener, first time commenting. I just had to speak out about the first story. The couple DID freeze the sperm for the possibility of having children TOGETHER in the future. It's unfortunate that the husband lost his battle and passed, and It's likely that he never talked to his wife about children in the future. However, I think there's a lot of buttholery happening here by the parents. I'm sympathetic to parents wanting to see a grandbaby born, and I can even see that having a grandbaby that was the child of their child that they lost is a comfort. Sadly, parents should not expect grandchildren. There are countless couples who's only child either could not or decided to not have children of their own. Parents just have to accept that. In this case, it's complicated by the fact that their son wanted to have children, but he wanted to have children with his wife. Now, on top of grieving the loss of her loved one, OP is blindsided by her in-laws and their desire to use there son's DNA to produce a grandchild. They seem very ignorant of OP's pain and her mourning process. Consider how she may feel in the future knowing that her husband has a child, but the child isn't hers and was born out of a heartbreaking tragedy. It's normal and likely that she may find a way to move on with her life. She'll remember her deceased husband, but it seems cruel for her to be reminded of his final agonizing days as he suffered with his disease every time she thinks that he has a child out there who was conceived through artificial means (not saying anything negative about it, but certainly not a child born out love). So, I'm sorry to disagree with you here. I would give the parents a 2 out of 5 stars for the buttholery.

[@LA-mz1dd]

THANK YOU! it's disturbing to me that people are ok with a child being 'born out of grief' with no consideration to how that child will be raised.

[@margaretlowe5220]

I agree the parents are butt holes! And a little off as well!

[@1bendykat]

2nd story - while I agree with RSlash, I want to make a point of saying that I think we need to stop making it out like only 16-year-old girls are vulnerable. Everyone at that age can be vulnerable. Without touching the issue with Trans teen vulnerability, guys get the reputation of “being able to take care of themselves” but they get into situations where they feel uncomfortable too. And they deserve help too.

[@kikiblair5132]

Yeah. Trans woman are 4 times more likely to get assaulted than a cis woman. I wish people weren't so terrible to us. Ugh.

[@dragons_of_magicgirl368]

16 year olds in general are vulnerable, any teen in a bad situation should be able to leave without consequence at home, but I don't think rslash was saying anything along the lines of boys shouldn't have the same treatment

[@diabologue]

ok

[@diabologue]

also ik this post is old but it feels like you didn't even hear what r/slash said

[@SoMuchQueso]

*based off the title you know this videos gonna be mad juicy*

[@Bean-kh9cu]

Yup

[@shinymainespoon]

Salty*

[@StratosphereTHAI]

my mind stop working for 3 sec to process what kind of fucked up shit did I just read, I guess its true

[@danekradwanski5278]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/gpnGn2yuZ9GYfrc this is not a bot comment its a funny video to go with the comment

[@JayusSays]

Literally

[@katb1793]

2nd Story: Dad is the AH I think. He's telling his daughter that if she doesn't have the money for an Uber, then don't call home when you are in a situation where you are uncomfortable and need to get out. That's putting his daughter at risk. She'll think twice (or more) before trusting that her parents will be there to help should she need it. 4th story: Not the AH. I had a friend that I hadn't spoken to in a few years call me up out of the blue. I asked how she was doing and was told that she was holding her own as her 2 year old daughter had passed away the year before and it was still hard. We talked and I never once mentioned that I had just given birth to my own daughter 6 weeks before. I felt like that would have just ripped her to pieces. I would have done the same thing if it had been a fertility issue. Geez, some people are so insensitive to others.

[@zamanimvukela4573]

I'd understand why the dad In the Uber story would react like that initially if he didn't have all the info because it's been an established rule, but the fact that he's had the time to think about everything and why his daughter wanted to leave and still insists that he's in the right means he's undoubtedly the a-hole. Like has he really not seen the sexual assault and violent crime stats, this isn't a safe world bruh, aren't you worried about your daughter's safety?

[@danscga2487]

This is one of those moments your child will remember and will let it fall back on you in the future. That father was, no matter the context, an idiot.

[@chrisreed26]

Nothing was ever said that the people who showed up were trying to hurt her..it said the teen did not like them so she wanted to leave..Dabny was adding to the story to make it sound like she was in danger..nothing was said about her being in danger at all..life is full of times when we have to be around those we dont like

[@danscga2487]

@@chrisreed26 Yeah sure, but you shouldn't be forced to stay with said people if you can avoid it. And as a father, how fucking cheap can you be to expect a 16 year old to pay for all here Ubers if YOU are not there for here. And the argument, well then she should stay home or in nearby areas is even more retarded. A child needs freedom and experience but even more the support of the familie and not a GIVE ME THE MONEY surrounding. Because this will lead to, no matter what happens in the family, you will pay back or get nothing. This is a family and not the fucking US Govermant/Society

[@laurenstewart5707]

@@chrisreed26 There’s still the possibility of fights getting started. The girl was being responsible. You just shouldn’t stay in a situation you feel uncomfortable in, especially as a young teenager. That’s how you get put in a situation with no way out.

[@Ikajo]

@@chrisreed26 Women are taught early on to be aware of potentially dangerous situations. The whole listening to your guts thing? Real. It is our instincts telling us something isn't right based on small things we don't pick up consciously. It is highly possible that she don't like those people because are genuinely a danger. Like doing illegal stuff, shoplifting, smoking, vandalism, using drugs. That is also dangerous situations. And women has to be even more alert against the possibility.

[@BeastTheMadness]

"It's not really hurting anyone" I actually disagree. Knowingly creating a child from diseased person remains seems cruel and egoistic to me. It just seems that they try to replace their son with "little version" of him that wouldn't be even able to enjoy their grandparents presence for long. On top of that if they want to "use" their relative... dude that's incest 😅

[@kingtchalla5868]

Story 3 I feel like long term it’s going to cause problems in the home. Just because the nephew has a trust fund and the others don’t. I believe the sister in law deserves more of a butthole rating 2-2.5 she didn’t speak up when her husband disrespected OP a gift is a gift no matter where it comes from you don’t have to give anyone a gift so it should be appreciated regardless.

[@juliahedmanwallin]

The nephew also doesn’t have his biological dad anymore, the twins hopefully will. And by there sound of it, the step-dad wants to use the nephew’s money for his own biological twins. So, there already something there that will cause a problem.

[@ruffr4bb1t]

It’s always the crazy ass parents (in law) who are so obsessed about grandkids that they don’t think about the future OR the people who will potentially take care of them

[@pizzamangametime9773]

I got to read that last one on Reddit and it just blew my mind at how rude some people are just announcing that you are pregnant at someones birthday party and honestly if they have been trying for 7 years the sister would know I give the sister 3.5 out of 5 IMO

[@jmnimahelr]

Something the parents of the 16Y should KNOW. Uber and Lyft both have policies that do not allow them to pick up unaccompanied minors. You must be 18 to take an Uber or Lyft. Both parents should know this since it's in the app. Appointment or work can WAIT if your child needs to be removed from a bad situation. Get up off your lazy butts and go get your child. Calling a rideshare may just be putting your child in another bad situation or still being stuck in the one she's trying to get out of.

[@marshjelloman8054]

Regardless of grief the first story is weird and wrong, getting some random surrogate and your dead sons sperm so you can have a grandchild is messed up, especially seeing as he had a wife and this is probably extremely against his own wishes, the grandparents are buttholes and are overstepping their boundaries of his grieving widow.

[@africanfartingfrog]

And I STILL want to know who'd be raising the kid. OP said the in-laws were too elderly to do it and her husband had no siblings

[@nursebee-vomit5058]

The moment some old people think they could get a grandkid, all logic goes out the window. They literslly obsess over having a cute replacement for their adult children. I'm sure the husband's death makes this delusional thinking even worse. They really think making a whole entire person should be done without a second thought.

[@FrightTVAnimations]

I don't think being nice to you for 3 years excuses toxic behavior even if its complying with your husband.

[@gemrock]

I feel like the entitled sister in law was wanting to sell the gifs for money but couldn't because she felt guilty because they were homemade. Now her entitled backbone is growing because of her entitled husband.

[@velvety2006]

or because it has no brand name on it

[@Funny_Chair_Man]

3rd story: yeah the sister in law was friends with OP for 3 years, and was kind and all that, but even after all that time she still had the free will and choice to let "the husband speak through her" as you said, regardless, three years is a lot of time to decide to throw away an important friend, or in their eyes, a resource, sister in law gets 2.5/5 buttholes from me, husband gets 4-4.5/5, OP gets 0.

[@lamiahunter]

Nah I think rslash is giving the sister in law too much credit. It doesnt matter if the husband is speaking through her. One of the most important duties to your family is defending them

[@dracko158]

Mattie: *Crashes OP's car* OP: *Gets mad* Dad: *Surprised Pikachu Face*

[@_Fizel_]

Okay see *this* is what people mean when they call you a white knight. You refuse to see the SIL has a problem. She *IS* entitled! Even *if* her husband is prodding her, it is still her saying it. But considering she just tried to pretend that conversation never happened and wants OP to make stuff for her new kids, I have a feeling SIL was feeling like OP was being 'cheap' before this.

[@jeffreyanimates9581]

Who?

[@thespiangamer6636]

@@jeffreyanimates9581 Think Fizel Sheba is talking about rSlash being the White Knight.

[@pussydestroyer87]

"Uber is not cheap" Yeah, but you are.

[@GTSE2005]

OP's parents in law were indeed being insensitive by pressuring her immediately after her husband's death. I would probably give them 0.5/5, taking into account that they too are likely grieving their only son's death (by right their behaviour of pressuring OP for grandkids deserves 3/5 buttholes but to be fair they all are suffering from this recent loss, that is why I will go easy on them). Maybe the best solution is for the parents in law to give OP some time before all of them have a heart-to-heart talk. After all, everyone is, in a way, a victim here. They are all feeling differently about this situation. OP is NTA, 0/5.

[@ReigoVassal]

I believe they're still grieving and couldn't act rationally. I'm not gonna blame them.

[@JadeAnnabelArt]

Yeah, when Rslash said 'what were they meant to do', I was sorta of the opinion of 'maybe wait for the body to be cold before asking.' If you're worried about her getting rid of things, maybe speak up and say 'hey, I know you're grieving, so are we. We just wanted to ask that you don't get rid of husbands 'stuff' until we've all moved on a little and can have a proper conversation.' Jumping right into it felt insensitive, and I do want to go easy on them, but they could have waited a little before jumping the gun like that.

[@MsNikkyD]

I have literally had a long talk with my teenage son about if he ever ends up somewhere in a situation where he doesn't feel comfortable or safe, that he can always call me no matter what. I don't care what time it is, where he is or what he has been doing, I will always go and get him (and if for some reason I can't, I will pay for his uber). So many things go wrong because kids are scared they are gonna be in trouble, or in this case have to pay an uber fare they can't afford. It is worse for girls too, so OP is so insanely incredibly so much the a-hole.

[@9elypses]

Dude I just got new glasses yesterday and for once I can actually see individual stars on your video bg lmao

[@_Fizel_]

Oh good lord that's just like when I got my glasses. Like, oh hey I can actually see the where the whiteboard stops and the wall starts, even though they were pretty different colour wise. My vision is *so* blurry without my glasses.

[@broski89]

As someone who was born needing glasses to see every time I update my prescription and get a new pair of glasses. Its always wow I can really see.

[@meeepteh_potate7759]

I love how Rslash always gives the other side an opinion like he doesn’t just choose a side and say yep op is in the right 100%

[@Trijem]

Last Story: Yep, it's hubby's B-Day and sis tries to make it all about herself. Op and Hubby have been trying to have a baby for 7 yrs! I'm pretty sure that their shortcomings (pun intended)have come up at least 3 times and sister was rubbing it in. Sister gets 4/5 🌀 buttholes. ⭐⭐⭐⭐ ... 🐺

[@mahra_jabokwoam]

The uber story, the dads like "yeah who cares if my daughter was in an uncomfortable/potentially dangerous situation? what about my 10 dollars for the uber?"

[@jaspr1999]

I make a LOT of things for people so the OP that made things for his nephew really touches me deeply. Due to my issues, I am retired. I shake so bad that it takes me hours, and sometimes days, to do a simple Sketchup for a 3D print. While I can still do some casting, my woodworking ability is almost gone. My wife & I are not well off and the printer saves us a lot of money. So when I heard OP's story, I thought of all the gifts I made over the years and all the time it took to do for that special person I was making it for and it just breaks my heart that some folks feel that way. I grew up believing that handmade things were always a way to show that the receiver was someone worthy to spend a lot of time and putting a lot of love into their gift. I really hope that jerk is a one-off example.

[@l.0]

Amogus

[@radhiadeedou8286]

The grandparents are cruel, they want to bring a kid into this world while they're in their 60s, at 20 that kid will be all alone in this world, no mom, a dad who died before they were conceived and the grandparents who raise them dead

[@johnnagustafson9996]

You can be alone in this world at 20 even if your parents were in their 20's when they had you.

[@radhiadeedou8286]

@@johnnagustafson9996 you need to learn the difference between probability and possibility. You have a kid at 20 and you MIGHT be dead before their 25th birthday, you have a kid at 65 and you WILL be dead before their 25th birthday

[@johnnagustafson9996]

@Radhia Deedou @Radhia Deedou My great grandma lived to 101 in sound mind and good health, and my grandpa lived to 96 in good health and sound mind still playing golf and riding his motorcycle. Your "will be dead" only reflects your outlook on life.

[@bigclown23]

@@johnnagustafson9996 chief, most people don't live that long. It's great that your great grandma did but the average lifespan is, at the most, in the 80's. It gets lower depending on where you are

[@anton_smallz99_30]

I feel like the first story the parents get at least .5 to 1 butthole out of 5 because as much as they care about carrying on blood they didn’t even think about the fact their son wanted to have kids specifically with OP. It’s kinda just disrespectful to the wife and the dead son’s decision to have kids together but not so disrespectful to warrant a higher score coz of the reasons R/slash mentioned.

[@smashrosa8111]

I can somehow understand what the husband'sparents want to do but they probably consider what their son wanted.

[@lului1456]

3:03 they want to carry on their son’s legacy by violating their son’s values?

[@songohan3321]

I remember story 2 well and Reddit let him have it as they should.

[@seabass819]

I just listened to that one, is that op stupid or does he just hate his daughter? Jesus.

[@Hellion421]

Went to look for it and couldn't find it, guessing he really got flamed lol

[@Pandaikon0980]

@@Hellion421 I think he deleted his whole account. I like looking up certain stories that Rslash reads to see if there's been any updates since he recorded them, but this story and user are just GONE.

[@Pandaikon0980]

I managed to find a site that had archived his post and some of the replies to him (his own were missing), and shock of all shocks, his daughter won't tell him what happened but seemingly told his wife. And apparently he was a surprised Pikachu about it!

[@bigclown23]

Not "as they should". There isn't enough info to make a judgment. What made her uncomfortable? Was she unsafe or just uncomfortable? If she was just uncomfortable then it's not right for her to break the agreement that was put in place. Like I said, there isn't enough info. If she was actually unsafe, then OP shouldn't have attempted to forced her to pay him back

[@immortalized4405]

Rslash: Always support your spouse OP’s sister-in-law: I guess my husband is correct.. Rslash: You weren’t supposed to do that I don’t believe in the support thing Rslash preaches so often, this is definitely one of these times she should not support her spouse.

[@maieen2665]

I wouldn't be surprised if OP's daughter from the second story loses trust in her father after this.

[@GiantButterKnife]

For the first story, the idea of “carrying on the bloodline” or “legacy” is inherently pretty entitled. Those parents at least get 1/5 assholes, though I would personally give more.

[@formal_tanooki_suit3839]

I feel that OP from the nephew story should talk to a lawyer about the legality of asking for recipes or somehow keeping tract to make sure that money only gets used by the nephew.

[@moimeself1088]

Recipes?

[@melrobertson2743]

@@moimeself1088 I think they mean recites from purchases

[@ChrisMaxfieldActs]

@@melrobertson2743 Receipts.

[@melrobertson2743]

@@ChrisMaxfieldActs sigh I hate trying to watch the video and type at the same time it give autocorrect a chance to cause havoc

[@moimeself1088]

@@ChrisMaxfieldActs thanks

[@LadyDreamfyre]

2nd story : I'm 23 and my parents ALWAYS paid for my Uber whenever I couldn't because they'd rather lose money than me ._.

[@thebaldcat6708]

You know as much as Rslash says that he’s against sexism he uses phrases like “be a man” or “like a man” quite a bit

[@darkmega24ify]

I think in the context he was speaking in, it can be taken as he should be more of a parent.

[@etherealaesthetical]

@@darkmega24ify Yeah, taking care of your kids and family is “being a man” so him saying that this time was warranted And it’s not like any of the guys are crying or something, him saying to man up always meant that the guys were being dumb and childish and they needed to grow up

[@thebaldcat6708]

@@etherealaesthetical The thing is sometimes things like this creep into his videos.The best example(that I definitely cherry picked,no sarcasm) is the video where a guy didn’t like his wife’s wedding dress and Rslash was all “it’s *her* day” “she will be thinking about this on *her* day” etc.Not their day her day. so this isn’t the first time either

[@GhostGuyExplorations412]

2nd story: OP is totally the butthole, how dare he punish his child for getting out of an uncomfortable situation.

[@gerrard1144]

2nd story: OP is definetly TBH, your daughter met someone who she's uncomfortable and you're forcing her to pay the uber? Like, its a stupid rule from the start anyway. Yeah your family your rules, but its a family, not capitalism

[@valdr2286]

The daughter showed maturity by leaving a bad situation

[@1985toyotacamry]

@@valdr2286 exactly. If my teenage nephews are not comfortable or in danger I would rush to get them or hell call an Uber and forget the money all I need to know if they are safe and at home.

[@valdr2286]

@@1985toyotacamry funny enough my co worker and I were talking about this type of situation not to long ago. Like tell your kids if they're ever uncomfortable anywhere leave. Call an uber or call one of the parents. Don't teach them to stick it out

[@laurenstewart5707]

@@valdr2286 Right. Some ppl are saying that she wasn’t in any real danger because it was just people she didn’t like. Mhmm. So the very real possibility of a fight getting started just doesn’t exist right? A lot of people just start stuff for no reason and it ends in bloodshed. Good on her.

[@smashlegend25]

Looks Like Both Of The Parents Agreed To This Rule.

[@BasonJorn13]

Even if it was her husband’s opinion it’s disrespectful for her to talk bad about his presents and then expect more

[@mr.scarlo2234]

I hope that everyone is having a good Sunday!

[@syskey6930]

that guys sperm certainly isnt

[@shinymainespoon]

It's average, I suppose

[@BoopBoi115]

You too

[@Cynical_Engineer]

Thankyou, you too.

[@nulzzaa]

thank

[@RazHolly]

The story with the car is like Biff from Back To The Future “Say hi to your mom for me.”

[@Mekabear1991]

I finally got it to where I started watching before the notification hit my phone

[@chriscarpenter3370]

are you a magician?

[@songohan3321]

@Not RickRoll 👇... Hmmmmmmmmm. You're username is oddly suspicious.

[@Mekabear1991]

@@chriscarpenter3370 you know, I'm starting to believe I am actually, I woke up only a few minutes before it too. My entire being just knew rslash was uploading

[@spencernelson2433]

I’m convinced you should be a court judge after hearing your reasoning and everything for all these situations

[@aeonvalley8589]

Daily reminder that you are loved and appreciated even if you don’t know it

[@tigerlilykitty3281]

Lmfao. “She said I was making it about me instead of them.” It’s not even the sister in law’s fucking birthday??? Like it’s not your day, Sweetie.

[@DreadEnder]

With the Uber one it sounds like she pays for the Uber and then gives her parents money and at 16 she’s barely old enough to get money so yes r/slash is right

[@Richard_Nickerson]

If I was OP in the Matty story, I would've called the cops. They stole your car, drove without a license, crashed it, and no one even informed you.

[@SpairM]

I came as soon as I heard! Clicked that notification faster than you could say “not the butthole”

[@alisontibbens2155]

fifth story: Sister wasn't complaining, she was flexing!

[@torvurd]

Ever since Rslash became a dad he's been a lot more vehement toward daughter stories. Which is understandable but also kinda funny.

[@realbambinofox]

trying to charge someone, especially a 16 year old, because they asked for help due to being in an uncomfortable situation is such a shitty thing to do, especially as a father.

[@_ophe._.rose_5684]

Aight okay I I'm commenting NOW but I managed to click on this 4 seconds after uploading, my theory about rSlash uploading at 2 pm GB time has been proven right!

[@AlexanderLemone]

Holy shit your right.

[@_ophe._.rose_5684]

@@AlexanderLemone I've been thinking it ALL week! So at 1:50pm I stalked the account for 10 minutes, then low and behold, 2 comes and bam! New video!

[@ultimatefandom3127]

Thanks for telling me. I'm a Brit too so now I too can stalk RSlash for new videos.

[@blaineyeamlak]

9:00 am eastern time

[@Dwights_trash_can]

Story about Uber ride: I can not believe that dad...like what if she was in a situation where she felt like she could be sexual or physically assaulted!? He just lost her trust

[@Hybrid301]

RSlash projecting his protective dad vibes in the second story is awesome.

[@1985toyotacamry]

Exactly I may not be a dad but for damn sure I will protect my nephews

[@gambit8109]

The SIL deserves higher score because she should have shut the hubby down when he started the BS

[@suhasinibose1656]

the second story: OH MY GOD! OP is a stingy and ridiculous fool. Is OP treating his own daughter as a cash cow? He likes the money more than keeping his daughter safe?

[@spiceweasel1145]

When I was a teenage girl around the time of the invention of the wheel, our parents always made sure we had money to pay for a cab to get us out of an unsafe situation. If we didn't have the money, our parents would give it to us on the understanding that it was ONLY to be used for that purpose. So calling an Uber is just the 21st century version of this. So yeah dad was a major jerk for not paying for the Uber.

[@cececartiere6147]

rslash is the perfect example of why ppl without kids roll their eyes at parents. he tells us every single day he has a kid now lmfao anyone else notice this 😂

[@emilyallen2868]

2nd story: feeling uncomfortable in a situation is a 100% reasonable time to not have her pay. My little sis and her friends are 16 and they know if they're uncomfortable they can call me I'd I'll come get them, distance or cost doesn't matter. The girls physical, emotional, and mental well-being is important. Sometimes you can't get a hold of your parents and no-one should feel like they can't get away from an uncomfortable or bad situation so having others you can call is important. If needed I'd help pay for them to Uber back home, the cost is way less than if something happened. I can earn that money back relatively quick but healing from physical, emotional or mental damage can take years.