r/HFY TFOS# 567 - Humans are Weird: Bleep & Petting & Report (Hfy Sci-Fi Reddit Stories)

[@sherylcascadden4988]

Is it edible? How does it taste? Can I make it taste better? Yep, that's us humans.

[@OldF1000]

And thats why humans invented ketchup

[@eurogryphon]

I will never look at a cooking show the same way again. Absolutely fantastic description!

[@calvingreene90]

Humans also put pulverized rock on their food to improve the flavor.

[@elmodelo101]

Salt?

[@calvingreene90]

@@elmodelo101 Yes.

[@vedymin1]

Humans can hear them a long time before they can see humans and then humans can hide and ambush them :)

[@eliandervalderen5849]

Yeah that researchers should be shown people making fried tarantula cuz that is a thing.

[@AgroSquerril]

i thought that as well

[@calvingreene90]

That is what the Flight Second gets for trying to apply logic to human behavior.

[@purpledevilr7463]

I was hoping that the last one would’ve mentioned the guy that ate a plane.

[@neuralmute]

I was thinking of that too. Also my roommate back in uni whose favourite party trick was to eat the aluminium tabs off of pop/beer cans. I try to explain all of that particular roomie's peculiarities just by saying that he was a raver. Oh, the 90's.

[@janet6421]

Or just pica in general. Anything that is not a rock ... Never mind, that one just ate a handful of dirt. I don't know how many times I've had to tell my kids, "If it isn't food don't put it in your mouth" No, no little one, that is a toy, not food.

[@haydenrobbie7368]

the first three thoughts to pass throught a humans head are always the same... and never in the same order but always the same... they are 1. can we eat this 2. can we kill this and finally 3. can we fuck this.... trully we are the most advanced beings in all creation...

[@Tommy-pv1vh]

yup

[@efuller6770]

These were great. Funny and true

[@jerrybaker8597]

Can i eat this(if yes)eats ( if no) what can eat this that i can eat

[@stacymarsh2417]

Did any one else think that bleep was going to be about swearing

[@AgroSquerril]

i always think bleep is related to swearing

[@calvingreene90]

Story 2, 3:30 Story 3, 8:40

[@arakheno4051]

Love Betty Adams, got her book

[@krishall6746]

She has a book?!

[@arakheno4051]

@@krishall6746 Yup .. over on Amazon.

[@krishall6746]

@@arakheno4051 good to know, thanks

[@neuralmute]

I know what my next book order is going to be!

[@donaldscholand4617]

So, we've got bird-like aliens, bat-like aliens, semi-aquatic slug-like aliens, and warm-blooded mammalian terrestrial primates. But it's the humans that are "weird"? 😂

[@davidr6447]

Love it when the stories make me laugh!

[@OniMetsuki]

A skilled chef prepares Fugu with just enough tetrodotoxin to give the customer a mild high or sense of intoxication. Too little and you have an disappointed customer. Too much... well dead customers are bad for business.

[@seatbelttruck]

*listens to final story* *awkwardly pulls finger and shirt collar out of my mouth*

[@Tommy-pv1vh]

same but with plastic from 3d printing

[@neuralmute]

*glances at gnawed rubber grips of pliers*

[@ICountFrom0]

It's not strange to name "bleep" "beep" and "boop" they are distinct wave forms. Calling that strange, is calling Differentating between A, AH, and aaaaah to be strange. Or Ah and Be.

[@michaeldayman682]

I suspect the ungulates "speak" in wiggles, colour changes and subaudibles wave forms, being that they seem to be more eye then ear. their bodies seem to be omnidirectional sensors for sight, vibrations and textures. It's also mentioned in another story that they evolved in an environment without predators.

[@ICountFrom0]

No startle reflex *nod* can't be spooked.

[@larryjanson4011]

so whats so weird about petting fury things?

[@jamesha175]

LOL Twistunder again! he is one of my favorite alien guys. ha! and Kootchtk is back as well - my other favorite guy.

[@robertbemis9800]

But we do like petting furry things

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@contrafax]

For The Aggravated Squirrel! For The Author! For The Algorithm!

[@TheRealInscrutable]

Story #3 !

[@theonetodefyall238]

keeper going

[@AgroSquerril]

kept going

[@bananamuffiin9869]

I love it thank you !!! As a hooman I am vary honored!!✨🌸 thank you sir ,ma’am, or asexual one!!✨💖

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@calvingreene90]

You don't have names for specific groups of sound? That's very odd.

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

First for the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@davedave8986]

For the algorithm

[@purpledevilr7463]

For The Algorithm!

[@stacymarsh2417]

For the algorithm

[@bobsterclause342]

For the swarm

[@milohobo9186]

Chewing gum

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

For the Algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the Algorithm

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For the algorithm

[@kitten9416]

eating it with writing utensils?

[@josmeijers2818]

F.T.A !

[@bobsterclause342]

Humans are weird playlist kzbin.info/aero/PLcVxcFtbECU9m3jQycRUHyyenJVZOE4j7

[@TheRealInscrutable]

100K

[@merlinwizard1000]

52nd, 28 December 2023