/r/Relationship_Advice [Ft. CallMeCarson]

[@SegmentedOdin]

"My girlfriend won't stop calling me the Warlord" That is the exact opposite of a problem

[@copperpumpkin2648]

Lucky smh

[@ajorsomething4935]

"Say my name" *The Warlord*

[@Bob-gh8ge]

My Secret Account hell yeah

[@cassius1404]

Imagine the fucking power move it would be if your like in front of you boss or with friends or even better at a meeting and your girlfriend calls you warlord

[@arthurmorgan2861]

@@cassius1404 perfect for DND night

[@chim9110]

“You ate it?” “In my defense, I thought it was cocaine”

[@rooksclown316]

"So you ate it?"

[@BossDman-CapybaraMode]

@@rooksclown316 "Just a small lick"

[@johnstanley3939]

Carson's voice for that bit, combined with the line itself, sounds like something straight out of Archer

[@hellworm]

@@johnstanley3939 What's Archer?

[@sourginkgo]

Cyanide Sunshine a Netflix series x

[@BigRobertsons]

I wasn't fully paying attention and thought the first guy was attracted to mountains so I was very confused for the first minute of it.

[@Bianca-iz5wk]

Bruh🤣🤣

[@jonathon7109]

Dude he was Oh God I just found out that I’m typing with a Spanish keyboard

[@parkchimmin7913]

THE HILLS ARE ALIIIIIVE

[@mistermegalo]

Call that rock hard

[@Arsonire]

You know if he was attracted to mountains i would be okay with it.

[@chickenwizard8154]

Yeah ya know all those emotions mountain lions express with their faces -Indifferent -Pissed -You are about to die

[@Xehanort10]

Still more emotions than Kristen Stewart.

[@feralgator1863]

Xehanort10 or Brie Larson

[@combativeThinker]

Just like real women, lmao.

[@TheCompleteMental]

I think I get it now

[@LL-tr5et]

Chicken Wizard you'd be surprised

[@electricbayonet2]

I wonder if that first poster realizes that male mountain lions don't have manes to distinguish them from the females.

[@thevoid3976]

Haha...That's gay

[@Seldoona]

That's pretty gay

[@532pm5]

I'm pretty sure he meant gay as in, get this, literally gay

[@Seldoona]

@Sahand Az I'm bi, actually.

[@coainc]

Sahand Az lmao what bi people aren’t ’half straight’, they’re, you know, *bi*

[@Graknorke]

You missed the best bit of the mountain lion one where someone links him up a furry sub in the comments. He was amazed and overjoyed.

[@ajorsomething4935]

Lmao

[@princessjuleit]

Graknorke kinda wholesome ngl

[@riargaet]

A happy ending, I guess.

[@H0SANNA]

He discovered his true purpose

[@kacpercicharski4193]

I guess wholesome? I dont even know what i call situations like these.

[@taliakellegg5978]

The first guy brings a new meaning to the term "cougar"

[@justastrider3252]

*Badum Tiss!*

[@Jetfox967]

Lol

[@Allycat-wc8hj]

He should play charr in guild wars 2 lol

[@guyman9655]

@@justastrider3252 you beat me too it bro.

[@urielsgift7585]

Bruh

[@PorticoDemos]

4:08 "But if mountain lionesses were intelligent creatures on our level, and had humanoid bodies... sweet mama, i would be in heaven" *_the furries want to know your location_*

[@TheCompleteMental]

Hey, thats pretty good

[@CutieSocks]

Whoops hewwoo UwU rawr xD

[@kingslayer3089]

@@CutieSocks you have to OwO her and groom till she UwU's

[@b4nd1t9]

But furry's don't meet that criteria, they usually aren't intelligent creatures

[@PorticoDemos]

@@b4nd1t9 "but *if* they _were_ intelligent "

[@drago1514]

Humanoid bodies, same intelligence, mountain lion heads.... Sounds like a furry to me

[@troyjardine5850]

Khajiit has wares, if you have coin.

[@emailname8624]

@@troyjardine5850 J'zargo wishes to go somewhere warmer.

[@splupto]

furries dont have human intelligence though

[@AlastorTheNPDemon]

@@troyjardine5850 Skyrim belongs to the Nords, but everything within Skyrim belongs to Khajiit.

[@-gemberkoekje-5547]

@@splupto you don't have a heart though but you're still human.

[@jordini3381]

Dude that guy from the first one must have had a field day when they released the cats trailer

[@milesbeler3974]

OHHHHHH god I just SHUDDERED so hard my headphones fell off!

[@lamarrtheheadcrab4679]

Miles Beler wth

[@deltaresolve]

I don't think anyone had a field day seeing that monstrosity.

[@guyman9655]

The only person who did

[@zeenasty]

I'm sure he didn't like that they didn't have mountain lion faces though

[@JM-tc3zq]

As a lion, I totally agree with the first guy

[@ausername2524]

Oh god its big lion

[@frogey6377]

oh fuck oh shit its big lion

[@JillCheese]

Here come dat boi Big Lion

[@arnesashes1581]

*holy shit*

[@garmfeeldplabert1437]

he's so fucking powerful

[@UnderTheTableGremlin]

“My husband does NOT do drugs!!!” She acts so anti-drugs but eats the bag of mystery powder because it might be schneef

[@abishan1661]

😂😂😂

[@dfquartzidn6151]

Yeah it said something more about her than her husband lmao

[@ilikenaruto9828]

"...and so expressive" *Mountain Lion continues licking its nuts or something*

[@duncanwashere6140]

Poster: *This is no problem*

[@Whitehawk-]

and cock and balls and dick too

[@BasileosHerodou]

Lionesses bite lions balls when they're in mating seasons.

[@lukasd.4389]

@@BasileosHerodou goddam thats hot

[@bryandodson4101]

@@lukasd.4389 m

[@cernanwinterfox85]

The funny thing is that cougars do represent femininity in some north american native cultures. Thats why cougar is common slang for a predatory older woman. Think it has more to do with the they'll kill you in the end factor than the being like sugar factor though.

[@laytonspuzzle]

In the car accident guy's defense, shock can be one hell of a drug.

[@SpagheddiO]

It was you wasn't it?

[@guyman9655]

Being someone who had been in a car crash I find humor is the best medicine, of course the chronic back pain has not been cool but whatever

[@calvinhuddleston576]

I've had similar experiences so I can relate

[@Alex-cw3rz]

What kind of shock makes you play dead for an entire minute and then say gotcha?

[@osckirk]

@@Alex-cw3rz car crash shock

[@chaseolson1923]

4:17 has this man played Elder Scrolls? There is an entire race of exactly what he is looking for

[@mastersheldon1780]

😂 I’m dying

[@DarthTwilight]

Bahahaha

[@nyotamwuaji6484]

Khajiit is innocent

[@Saidriak]

And plenty of mods to "help"

[@IVI4R1U5]

I'd pay to see his face when he discovers the Khajiit, ha!

[@thomasdevlin5825]

"In my defense, I thought it was cocaine" that's one hell of a quote right there

[@abelrussell5556]

The fact that they did that whole thing without cracking a single cougar joke shows that British and American are two completely different languages

[@Evilbutteredpopcorn]

To be fair on the "Serand the Warlord" story- back when my father made an Xbox Live account the name he wanted was already taken (Sarge), but he just kept pressing "A". Because of this he selected the first recommended alternative- "Boyish Integral", and I have/will never let him live it down. So actually I can see how that can happen.

[@monkeydad47]

Im snagging that name for my next business email

[@jonahj9519]

My dad was Cramped Mango on our X-box.

[@meld1]

Evilpopcorn My friends one used to be Beetle coin

[@ghetis396]

The default name it stuck me with on Live was "Laden Wolf" with like six numbers after it, so I don't find any of this hard to believe

[@tonyhakston536]

My sister got stuck with OpenDonut.

[@fuzzywolfe2997]

There are worse things to be called than 'the Warlord' tbf

[@x999uuu1]

Not much but ya

[@kingslayer3089]

Like wanted thief or Rouge

[@LancerFanClub]

“The Dungeon Master” it’s worse if you’re dating them

[@GrandCorsair]

As a woman. I struggle very day knowing I will never live up to Mountain Lion beauty standards. All I can hope for Snow Leopard if I get the surgery.

[@GippyHappy]

Let's not gloss over the second post wherein a girl freaked out about her boyfriend doing drugs but also just _had_ to try it. _"In my defense, I thought it was cocaine"_

[@barryallencoffee]

The worst one was the car crash one cuz that sounds like something I would do, feel bad for the guy

[@michaelnettles3059]

@@fisharson No, he made her think a drunk driver killed him. Rather than guilt she would have felt hatred.

[@totalhufflepuff203]

@@barryallencoffee I feel bad for the girl. What he did was fucked up

[@HTPCYMC]

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to be attracted to Mountain Lions.

[@Mr-Ad-196]

R34 naizingbeaaam

[@mcbadrobotvoice8155]

And survive

[@wackyotter1235]

How to properly clean your metal gear

[@reidleblanc3140]

i mean, don't people with autism usually have high IQ's? so. you're not wrong

[@thedragonchronicle4242]

I liked for the profile, not the comment

[@cherylr.3262]

As a woman, I can actually confirm that we do, in fact, have fangs

[@Dutchman-2002]

Bite me

[@sunsetskye483]

We also are very allergic to sunlight

[@darsonosumitomo7328]

And we absolutely can't eat or get close to garlic

[@runawaygemm5397]

Never would’ve known, that’s something to look forward to

[@pringlebatch5586]

Where’s my fangs! I’ve been robbed I want my fangs

[@Taikamuna]

Why am I watching this when I spend all day in my room without talking anyone

[@fredward3293]

too busy playing with dominoes i think

[@_Pike]

How on earth do you not talk anyone

[@JeremyFragranceFan]

Ok taikamuna

[@maybeedouble]

Same, wanna be friends

[@kroh7742]

Relatable

[@Wi-Fi-El]

How to survive a mountain lion attack: Step 1: sexually harass mountain lion Step 2: expose yourself Step 3: get it up and charge Step 4: lion runs into woods Step 5: expect a court summons in the mail

[@decoolfool4166]

You're going to Jungle Court, Son!

[@JohnsDough1918]

@@decoolfool4166 *mountain court

[@drewpott]

Blame the mountain foid for hating nice gois

[@drewpott]

@minecraft wow can't believe another foid is harassing me, JUST LIKE BAGEL MAN, for speaking the truth. First the mountain foid and now this. Just because I was nice smh. (Yes)

[@filmandfirearms]

I would think any animal would go to the trouble of figuring out the court system if it meant that they wouldn't have to deal with any more humans charging them with erections

[@melledevries4685]

"the colour of brown sugar" we should make a name for that colour

[@milesbeler3974]

*brown*

[@subekennedy9554]

Why couldn't they just say brown? Rofl

[@beepboop4741]

It’s called brown

[@bluemakespurple9995]

Brown sugar is beige-looking tbh

[@SaphInfection]

I agree. Brown sugar fucking sucks.

[@J-D03]

First post is basically a dude finding out he was a furry all along.

[@Kaanfight]

Turns out, the real furries were the friends we made along the way

[@spicybeantofu]

Hes past furry.

[@corvusmonedula]

Not a furry but a zoophile

[@J-D03]

@@corvusmonedula true true, that would have been a better definition.

[@jammyweegit1144]

@@corvusmonedula No no see he says he would only fuck a mountain lion if it had a humanoid body. That's a Furry. A Zoophile would just want to fuck the mountain lion for what it is. The OP is anthropomorphizing the mountain lion in his head and projecting human emotions into it. Zoophiles don't care about that, they just think having sex with an animal is hot.

[@oneone99able]

I think we have to worry more bout that dude “eating” the mountain lion, then them eating him

[@TheCompleteMental]

Worry? That sounds like a good time

[@-elementarymydearwatson-3086]

3:46 Dress her in a mountain lion fursuit Problem solved

[@kingslayer3089]

I mean there are mursuits

[@thejay8963]

RougenPlex They’re gross as shit, but they do exist, so... yeah, more healthy than zoophilia.

[@parkchimmin7913]

RougenPlex what are mursuits? Edit: Nevermind

[@alexp5569]

@@kingslayer3089 I've seen things I should not have. This will hunt me in my nightmares

[@tubbyqueen]

I meaaaannn...

[@me-ri5jp]

I imagine the mountain lion guy would go into overload if he saw the khajhit in any of the elder scrolls games 😹😹

[@boyenjoyer7]

Who woudn't?

[@pjemrey6676]

Tbh, Khajhit never really looked like cats until Oblivion. In Daggerfall, they just looked like ugly humans with tails.

[@me-ri5jp]

@@pjemrey6676 yes, i realize. But considering if i would have just said oblivion or heaven forbid, skyrim, i would have been corrected that it's the elder scrolls series or that there is more than one game featuring them. I thought i went the safe route 😹

[@guilhermemoraesdasilva7058]

@@pjemrey6676 Different khajjit races, man, there are about 19 or more of them.

[@guilhermemoraesdasilva7058]

And they did look like felines in Morrowind too...

[@LordEgilYGO]

8:14 THAT MAN IS SMART. When you see mold, there's far more than what you see, it spreads itself deep in the cheese/bread, so you're still risking your health if you eat it

[@ascendedcat260]

The mold you _can_ see is the part that produces spores, so there are probably more spores across the cheese. He is pretty smart.

[@jadecoolness101]

@@ascendedcat260 Yeah, the mold you see is basically just the ""flowers"" but there are plenty of ""roots"" webbed through the food that is molded.

[@peanutbuttercracker1]

Depends on the cheese. If it's a hard cheese you can cut around the mold and eat the rest, but soft cheeses need to be thrown out wholesale.

[@L.Pondera]

Nobody tell him what cheese is made of.

[@Post_Stall_Maneuver]

​@@jadecoolness101It's like cutting just the flower of a dandelion. The stem regrows and the roots are still there. You need to pull the whole thing out.

[@aloisio7975]

so i was driving my car with my mountain lioness gf when some crazy dude rammed full speed in to my car, we where both fine, but the mushrooms in the dude's car tainted our cheese with mold, and she doesn't let me trow it away. after a visit to the doctor, he said she had hit her head and suffered brain damage, and that explains why she is calling me Serland the Warlord now

[@SkrugMan]

Wait what?...

[@colewright3790]

Actually, it’s Serand.

[@radioactivebirdj.1845]

@@SkrugMan Me on Tuesdays

[@HaxxorElite]

@@SkrugMan so i was driving my car with my mountain lioness gf when some crazy dude rammed full speed in to my car, we where both fine, but the mushrooms in the dude's car tainted our cheese with mold, and she doesn't let me trow it away. after a visit to the doctor, he said she had hit her head and suffered brain damage, and that explains why she is calling me Serland the Warlord now

[@peanutbuttercracker1]

lmao that "mold" was actually just talcum powder

[@luissantiago5163]

8:32 Memes absolutely ruined me. Every time I hear consume I just start laughing uncontrollably.

[@tsinestexicthdauwraum9082]

Eat Prilosec!

[@luissantiago5163]

@@tsinestexicthdauwraum9082 exactly! XD

[@yuudii]

@@blurrycryptid THIS IS YOUR GOD

[@patrickhodson8715]

To the first guy I will admit that felines’ faces really are beautiful, and even sometimes captivatingly so, but like in the same way a beach sunset or a snow-covered mountain is beautiful, and _absolutely not_ in a sexual way.

[@sol222]

sure

[@midnightgamer2088]

Ikr

[@angelikaskoroszyn8495]

So you're just felinoromantic, the (I presume) guy was felinosexual But seriously, I worry about his safety. Feline faces are less expressionable than humans'. We just project our emotions on them which often leads to misunderstandings. In his case it could be fatal

[@ft.-featuring]

@@angelikaskoroszyn8495 that just sounds like furry with extra steps

[@ivnislykun]

@@angelikaskoroszyn8495 felinoromantic, felinosexual- Just say zoophile

[@polish_filipino]

"I'm attracted to mountain lions" _So... you're a furry?_

[@rossblackblood9554]

yeah thats what i was thinking lol

[@AnymMusic]

goddamnit I am too late

[@chrisrelhard]

"but if mountain lionesses were intelligent creatures on our level, and had humanoid bodies..." so, you're literally a furry.

[@thesatelliteslickers907]

nope, ZOO

[@janelantestaverde2018]

I'm sure, all the sodomites out there are happy to be off the hook right now.

[@Marvino-Madeyecat]

Yes it does? On Android it gives you some random name when you start game center or whatever. I'm literally called "wanted guardian *number*" it's random

[@timewellspent8137]

But you can change the name to whatever you like

[@s1ash1]

Marvin the Wanted Gaurdian

[@Kenzie776]

They said apple game center. Not Android

[@billclearwater2783]

9th grade Biology student here. When mold grows on cheese, it isn't just the surface with the mold that has the mold on it. Mold has a type of root system, called mycelium, that spreads throughout the entire root system, and it is clear with a similar look and texture to cotton candy. If you just cut off the mold, the mycelium will stay, and you will still be eating mold. Hope I helped someone make a informed decision on this subject.

[@jim_2570]

Lmao calling yourself a 9th grade biology student to justify your point. Chill out professor

[@billclearwater2783]

@@jim_2570 nu

[@jim_2570]

@@billclearwater2783 oh ok sorry

[@billclearwater2783]

@@jim_2570 good

[@screamingalgae9380]

*BLUE CHEESE HAS MOLD IN IT*

[@Leon-169]

6:11 No! She’s mad at you? *I can’t imagine why!*

[@zandgall1837]

He knew that she was mad at him, and why she was He just wanted to know what to do to possibly fix it

[@thesatanicdemon1239]

@@zandgall1837 All she has to do is fake her death and they will be even.

[@zandgall1837]

@@thesatanicdemon1239 Ooh, very nice

[@thewiseotter3884]

The Satanic Demon I think he actually did go unconscious or unresponsive due to shock but still was conscious of what’s around him

[@joshuazane3210]

Yeah, cheese has never lasted long enough to mold in my home. Being able to ignore it that long confuses me.

[@1SingleT]

Cheese just doesn't taste that good

[@YerMate]

Sometimes food in my fridge goes moldy (it's always stuff in containers) and for some reason I'll have to see it a few times before I work up the effort (or maybe stomach) to deal with it :/

[@Adam-cq2yo]

Agreed. Cheese in my house never lasts that long. Although forsome reason we have to throw away, like, half our bread because of GODDAMN MOULD, even though it's most of what we eat. So you win some you lose some, I guess?

[@DeadCakez420]

The first guy is just talking about his inner awakening after seeing big lion

[@GonkDr01d]

At first i thought, “what is this furry shit?” And then i saw carson and got the lotion

[@frog6992]

Need to slip into the Iron Maiden

[@Voc_spooksauce]

@@frog6992 Aces high

[@josephbrittan8067]

Guys it’s scp 173! Get that nut

[@dantefiore8442]

Snap me daddy!

[@hakanbalcioglu8686]

I'll tell the foundation YOU breached

[@derpy_horse4153]

i've been anticipating this crossover for a long time *THE PROPHECY IS TRUE*

[@JoyOfCreativeService]

Oh snap, one of my favorite KZbinrs also likes a channel I do

[@knowledgeinajar_6057]

Twice it has been proven that Carson should never give relationship advice

[@ratralfiofanov8386]

TRUE LULW

[@PatrickTouma]

@Joshua Coulter Neither did she.

[@lost_lament]

@@PatrickTouma LMAO

[@itsisabel420]

Oh god don’t remind me

[@ewanfarley]

True lmao

[@DJfrog99]

Calling Poe's Law on this: on the internet as a medium, any parody or deconstruction of a radical viewpoint, without a clear expression of intent, is indistinguishable from a legitimate article of that viewpoint.

[@DotRD12]

Almost all of the content on subs like these is just creative writing nowadays.

[@obliviousotterI]

This is not Poe's law, this is tame, and utterly believable, or at least the first one is

[@thesatelliteslickers907]

my gf is a zoophile, and I believe it

[@michaelfapgod4598]

@John Toas Communism is the perfect society if the whole world was run by it and those in charge weren't greedy sobs that actually care for the citizens

[@DJfrog99]

@@michaelfapgod4598 Hail, comrade!

[@a39tortoise40]

Mountain lions are cool, but I prefer MEIN PANZERKAMPFWAGEN V. AUSF. A PANTHER

[@ringthebellamy]

mood

[@combativeThinker]

Yeah that's cool and all but... Have you ever re-militarized the Rhineland?

[@sinpar4548]

Bryan Merrill uhhh, yes *IN HOI4*

[@RoryRose_]

You're gonna summon Cthulu.

[@cldus7442]

Mmm good choice

[@Sherrilite]

This Carson guy is quite funny! He should make a channel, he doesn't seem like the kind of guy that would get cancelled

[@noone8333]

He seems like the kind of person to not get in any inappropriate relationships with any underage fans!

[@lennonrobert9567]

this hurt to read

[@Astronomicat117]

Oof I actually forgot he did that dang

[@vanhellgatesworld5890]

:(

[@NebulatheZorua]

@@noone8333 is 17 and 19 not normal?? Romeo and Juliet laws settle it in most places, and 17 is mature enough to know right and wrong

[@phicyorose8541]

"If mountain lionesses...had humanoid bodies" Furrys: Well! Do I have some things to show you! Come with me.

[@bruhSaintJohn]

Phicyo Rose "...and were intelligent creatures" Furries: Fuck... Move on then

[@thejay8963]

Phirenor Wow, you must be a *SUPER* nice guy IRL, calling people unintelligent based on what kind of human they draw and what they dress up as...

[@lamarrtheheadcrab4679]

Tom Lake Charles Phirenor has a point

[@ishaboy5090]

@@thejay8963 perish

[@thejay8963]

isha boy No

[@CTPGCharlie]

"I wanna kiss a mountain lion" CallMeCarson 2019

[@carsongott6533]

Indeed dont we all

[@kingslayer3089]

I mean don't we all have said the need to anyways

[@theguythatasked6400]

They did surgery on a grape: unoriginal, dated unfunny They did surgery in cheese: new, funny original

[@dumblingivy2501]

I think the first guy may be a bit of a furry. Just a tad bit.

[@alanzapreservationtheythem2861]

dumbling ivy more like a Yiffer

[@crabmeat3803]

dumbling ivy furry =/= bestiality

[@crabmeat3803]

BrainWave Productions yiff =/= bestiality

[@alanzapreservationtheythem2861]

CrabMeat amp.knowyourmeme.com/memes/yiff r/quityourbullshit

[@_Pike]

CrabMeat Furry

[@tornadodex1366]

POV: You're searching "Newest First" to see if anyone mentioned Carson

[@lmaoitsmitch7388]

Carson probably wasn’t the best pick for relationship advice

[@trequor]

Famous people arent allowed to flirt

[@theboogerbomb]

yeah lol

[@sEEE724]

@@trequor um no, PEOPLE aren’t allowed to “flirt” with CHILDREN when they’re a grown adult, regardless of them being famous or not, that’s called being a p3333 dophile

[@trequor]

@@sEEE724 teenagers aren't children

[@FuckTheYoutubeUsernameChange]

​@@trequorthey literally are.

[@b4nd1t9]

*I AM WOMAN*

[@narcolepticinsomniac4037]

that moment when you are trying to say that you're a furry without saying you're a furry

[@flushedgaming7821]

Carson: “I’ve never had a girlfriend” Well this aged well... Edit: Well this aged well...

[@truepik]

It aged like milk

[@helloagain7823]

Cursed Emoji not a real one......

[@inc0mpletedean353]

@@helloagain7823 oh.... shit

[@diab0und]

Explain. I don't keep up with the personal lives of youtubers

[@inc0mpletedean353]

@@diab0und oh there was a thing with Carson, Fitz and his girlfriend and cheating but its not for us to get into, its there lives

[@texmex007]

I can't believe that mountain lion bit was as long as it was oh my Stars

[@just-a-silly-goofy-guy]

CallMeCarson joins with British CallMeCarson

[@mewnmew2993]

Okay

[@frog6992]

And Australian version well

[@janhib4712]

American Soothouse joins with Soothouse

[@carsongott6533]

Can we get a Russia ver 2?

[@binloyden3329]

Wake up people! Britain isn't real! Wyoming is a chunk error!

[@Hulksmashbigman]

WELL THIS AGED WONDERFULLY DIDNT IT?

[@stamvid2971]

Mountain lions? In my basement? But how?

[@Rainquack]

It's more likely than you think!

[@georgiykireev9678]

Oblivion reference? Oblivion reference.

[@combativeThinker]

I remember this quest, lol.

[@exzyyd392]

Carson hasn't had a girlfriend but he has a cow-girl minecraft wife

[@pee-bot]

*Chew*

[@Sigurdur5]

No dignity!

[@GamingOS]

Koichi really steals?! No dignity!

[@kozumakenme3838]

Bruh I try to not reply jokes to people with jojo profile pics but this is too much stimulation... just like how Mista felt when getting the golden succ...

[@oscarwright8864]

Carson: I have never had a girlfriend... Well this year is gona be a rough one carson

[@propername4830]

Not even taking into account being 'cheated on'

[@Blueygu]

turns out it didnt

[@AlexHand]

Idk about mountain lions but if the guy is willing to settle for cougars we've got plenty around here.

[@yeater5000]

soothouse and callmecarson? my birthday present came a week early

[@wow-jw2ql]

Happy early birthday 🎂

[@cornonthekobi]

I'm gonna wait a week, then come back

[@BustyCatbot]

@@cornonthekobi You failed

[@lisahemings4547]

Kàeda lmaooooo 😂

[@mithilthakur7973]

CallMeCarson is awfully perfect for this video

[@RetroCat969]

So is it bad that I payed $30 to frame a poster of a mountain lion in my room directly over my bed?

[@prasunkumar117]

Don't be a Shane Dawson

[@UCvow2TUIH0d2Ax2vik9ILzg]

Sounds like cr1tikal.

[@birbandgames7566]

If your sexually attracted to them, then yes. If not, then no.

[@seanmacreachtain1742]

Robo Cathat Like Kia Orsan

[@itsmesky3545]

2:54 Human women don't have fangs, buts that's exactly what makes them all the more dangerous.

[@jaketmko]

hey guys whos this carson guy i sure hope hes qualified to give relationship advice

[@mossbob331]

Nope he ain’t

[@ImDaaBes]

Well, I guess he'd know what _not_ to do...

[@chairleg9796]

#CallmeIncarcerated

[@experi-mentalproductions5358]

Please stop accusing innocent people of pedophila...

[@Sara-uk2eo]

@@experi-mentalproductions5358 bruh not even his closest friends are defending him. Why would you?

[@helila]

Wow wait until this person finds out about Khajiits

[@JWayne-vb1yg]

Soothouse and CallMeCarson?! This is the crossover I always wanted! So many groups I wanna see come together and be the Infinity War of KZbin!

[@beepboop4741]

After a minute or so I snapped out and “ah your finally awake”

[@PrincessFelicie]

So glad for that first dude having found his fursona.

[@_Pike]

That is not something you should be happy about

[@_DMNO_]

username checks out

[@thejay8963]

I mean, sure better than him committing zoophilia...

[@thejay8963]

Egg Well, I suppose it would be better for him to go out and fuck a lion, by your logic?

[@lamarrtheheadcrab4679]

Egg agreed

[@DirtyRottenTaylor]

Lol. The username one is pretty funny. My default username is ColonialWarchief.

[@iselac.1147]

This whole time ive been watching Soothouse and barely found out its WilburSoot

[@lankygit1942]

I love Carson but... WHERE IS CALLMEKEVIN

[@emailname8624]

Feck

[@_DMNO_]

more like bore ragnarok

[@TheUltimateNavigator1]

😍

[@dogf421]

ive got relationship advice for carson: dont

[@SaulTeeNutz]

The mountain lion guy was basically trying way too hard to hide the fact that he’s a furry.

[@TheTrueFool]

The first dude is a furry and doesn't even realize it.

[@michaelfapgod4598]

He'll be so happy when he finds e621.net

[@HaxxorElite]

@@Stinkus55 Hewwo OwO

[@HaxxorElite]

@@Stinkus55 HeWWO UWU

[@nighthawkm04]

Next thing he does is go to Bad dragon and get a mug, then show it off to all his friends who are clueless as to what it means.

[@maiag3354]

Carson actually wrote the Mountain Lion post, I'm sure of it

[@nigeladams8321]

In terms of the cheese, you should definitely throw it away. mold isn't a surface level thing, just because it's only visible on one side doesn't mean that it hasn't spread throughout the inside

[@missdoirpy2870]

I guess you could say that the first guy was really into cougars

[@covertjellybaby9906]

"I want to kiss a mountain lion" ~Carson King, 2019

[@aidsdoh8286]

"do it pussy!"- me 2020

[@samwestaway7212]

Now it's just minors :(

[@JoyOfCreativeService]

@@samwestaway7212 Excuse me, she was 17 when he was 19. It certainly wasn't legal, but it wasn't the _worst_ situation like it.

[@samwestaway7212]

@@JoyOfCreativeService okay, it's a joke my man

[@michaelnettles3059]

@@JoyOfCreativeService No its legal

[@ZeroThe0ne]

"I've never had a girlfriend" that hits diffrent now

[@memes3930]

Me: “My sense of humor is far superior and these jokes aren’t fu-“ “C O N S U M E” Me: *wheeze*

[@BigPuddin]

Found the zoomer.

[@paisley4197]

“hey are you a boy or a girl?” *”I AM WOMAN”*

[@x.future]

That is THE WORST MOMENT this video could get recommended to me, KZbin. *sigh*

[@timbses]

Still a funny video I’m watchin

[@pengpenguin8716]

I don’t care about if he’s a predator or not. As long as he’s making content I enjoy I’ll keep watching.

[@mofire5674]

Waaah there's KZbin drama surrounding someone in the video clearly it's now unwatchable :((((( /s

[@mofire5674]

@@user-ho7uc7bg5o Wasn't a response to you, was to the first comment in the thread. You get notifications for anything posted in a thread you comment on.

[@xsume4719]

Lion ain’t the only natural predator in this video

[@personalityishard2113]

Thank you That is my favourite comment ever I just needed to thank you

[@kindledflame5179]

This made me laugh so hard my cider came out my nose which now burns but fuck me was the laugh was worth it

[@genderkiller]

WHAWHHAHAHAHHAAHJADLHSKJWNFEKJNA PLEASE

[@pengpenguin8716]

ok

[@Betaster3000]

Nooo

[@clanofclams2720]

Oooof what an episode to bring Caron on

[@tyler89557]

In the cheese waster's defense when mold grows it spreads these microscopic mycelium inside of the food it's growing in which grow pretty deep inside, possibly contaminating the entire thing. You can't see it with the naked eye so just cutting off the mold is always a risk.

[@jameskellyiv8326]

3:11 ... Dangerous Words

[@ikebran5335]

In retrospect, seeing Carson on a relationship advice video kind hurts. . .

[@acreativename7999]

Hurts even more now...

[@blessica8343]

Ahh

[@roofogato]

;-;

[@myrostiic2284]

The one soothouse video i can't complete

[@novagilpatric3071]

23/F and 26/M been together 7 years 🤔...

[@calebgindelberger3046]

Shoutouts to the FBI

[@garfield4154]

Close age laws say that a minor can date someone who is older than 18 if they are at most 3 years apart in age.

[@brosephnoonan223]

@@garfield4154 Yes Officer, this man right here.

[@garfield4154]

Heimskr, Prophet of Talos bitch I’m 14

[@KrabbyPatty_]

They are three years apart. How is that pedophilia? Your random US BS laws do not define what's actually a pedophile thing and not. You're hysteric and often don't make any sense. A 19 year old dating a 16/17 year old is not pedophilia. Like, at all. Stop throwing that word around it you don't know what pedophilia actually is. And no, I am no pedo defender but I use that word when it applies to the case, not when a 17 year old dates a 19/20 year old.

[@averymorrish9686]

I like how an entire half of this vid is the mountain lion post.

[@chrysthegoat9501]

8:17 actually it is dangerous to cut of the mouldy bit and eat the rest because the fungi is only VISIBLE in that corner doesnt mean that there is more mold then only on the corner. fungi like that grow like trees grow roots so you should throw it away entirely. just to be safe.

[@punchy207]

who cares YOLOOOOOOOOOO

[@blurcola]

interesting thought my man, thanks for sharing!

[@mewnmew2993]

Okay

[@J-D03]

Okay

[@lambda653]

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[@combativeThinker]

Interesting name you got there...

[@danieladeremi2184]

23 with a 26 year old and have been together 7 years? Hmmmmmmm...

[@EdwardianTea]

High school date mates

[@thewall1179]

M O U L D. They're British. Age of consent is 16 in the UK.

[@demetrius8184]

19 with 16 is still 3 years of difference so it's ok

[@coltonjacobs5383]

thewall1179 ah, that would make sense. Confused me for a second ngl

[@pointlezz9422]

“Never had a girlfriend” -callmecarson… that one kid tho

[@tunakann7629]

Something that does not have lips.. and cannot move it's jaw horizontally.. is expressive? XD