Raug Luag Saib Tsis Taus EP. 9 ~06/14/2024~

Hmong Audio Story (Inspiring/Secret Stories) original content created by this channel - Kablia Niam Neejvam Channel. Please do not copy this to any other channel without my permission.
Story description: After her marriage, she felt like an outside because her family does not accept her husband.

[@zoolikuv]

It takes another kind soul to recognize another. Glad it worked out in everyone's favor.

[@imayyang]

To the sister in the story: I feel like this story is for me. My husband is Mexican. Both my parents did not accept him when we were dating. My father was disappointed in me but my mother talked negatively and spread rumors like wild fire. Anytime a relative ask “how’s your kids”? My mom couldn’t wait to share her distress, worries, and opinion for my future. After 9 years of dating and 5 years being married, my mom still doesn’t accept him. My father is quiet but my mom still doesn’t respect him. I’ve learned to let go of people who does not accept me, my husband, or my child. It doesn’t mean I dislike them or stop talking to them. It just means I don’t invest in relationships that doesn’t help me mentally or physically. My grandmother still ask me why I marry such a man every time she gets a chance to talk to me. I know her judgement comes from the influence of my mother so I just smile and stay quiet. I’ve learned that their opinions does not matter. What I need is this life is encouragement, words of affirmation, hugs/affection, and support. Most of all, I’ve learned to accept my self and the life I choose. I’m truly happy and proud of how far my husband and I have accomplished. Before I had a child, I had no idea what it felt like to be a mother. And as a mother, one who truly loves their children will not desert or isolate them. What I do know is, our parents come from a culture with no education. Raised their whole lives to believe that marriages represent “success and honor”. But you and I are influence by the western culture. No matter how Americanize we are, our culture will sneak into our lives when we least expect it. Like if our children marries back to the Hmong culture, they will also have to learn the traditional value. Therefore, respect your mom’s opinion but do not get abuse by it. If her words hurt you, know that it’s because she worries about you. You must learn to be strong so you can take the good words and throw away what hurts you. You have a family now. Like any bird, we must leave our nest. We have left our nest.

[@user-sf2bw9xt6w]

Your story reminds me so much of how my life was in the beginning. when I first married my husband my mom was the same way, said the same things. It’ has been over three decades ago. But as soon as I have my first child, my mom came around and accepted. My father on the other hand has always been accepting and has always encouraged me to marry whoever I love so that made my life a lot easier, but I know the feeling. just love your husband and stop making him do things For them that they don’t appreciate or deserve. my kids are in their 30s now, my mom and my kids get along very well and they all love one another. I am already a grandma. My husband then was also African American. Just continue to live your life and be happy. Wishing you the best. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@ongxiong7921]

My family was already broken in the 80’s. I’m happy I grew up the American way. My whole family is very diverse. Don’t be sad, just love your family and the family members who love you back! Let them say what they want to say. You know who you are. Stay in your happiness and don’t let people hurt you. I’m proud of my husband and my life, if I could do it again I wouldn’t change a thing❤the people who don’t respect and love you don’t deserve you!

[@luckymoua811]

Don't feel bad and feel sad.. live your life to the best and don't stop loving them one day your parents will except you both..

[@dub2465]

Just live ur life n be happy. We can’t change how others feel so just live the best life for u n ur family. Best of luck!

[@HmongV]

Niam neej vam koj hais yog kawg peb cov no niam tais twb tsis hlub yus li

[@menavue9633]

I believe everything was laid out to u by ur mom. U know what u got urself into. Dont be sorry or sad. Move on and live ur Love Life. Since you already done ur best to make ur family accept ur life but they cant, then learn to NOT REGRET ur decisions and be happy with what u have. Stop saying they continue to DISRESPECT you. U keep coming around and they will disrespect u because u didnt make the decision to meet ur mom’s expectation. U are the one who keep Disrespecting urself by not accepting ur mom’s boundaries.

[@youtubingdiva]

Wow! That hatred from your mother is deep. Txhob tu siab os mog. Nws tsis hlub koj los rau rau siab ua koj lub neej xwb nawb mog.

[@chiaher3962]

Txhob tu siab os twb tsis hais yog yuav lwm haiv neeg os tus vauv hmoob los yog tsis yog hmoob nyob ib teb chaws xwb lawv twb tsis nyiam txawm li ntawv los tsuas yog lawv thiaj xav li rau yus xwb yus Txhob ua li rau lawv yog lawv muaj noj muaj haus lawv ho tsis hu yus los yog yus hnov lawm kav tsij mus koom tom ntej no lawv yuav tsum pom yus txoj kev zoo xwb, txhob tag txoj cia siab kuv ntseeg tias muaj ib hnub twg lawv yeej yuav lees txais neb, zam txim rau koj niam vim lawv cov laus tsis muaj kev kawm.

[@loralor8203]

How sad for you, sister. As mothers, we should love our children regardless..

[@atthao5631]

Aub yog koj yuav hmoob dub lawm ces txhob tu siab nawb, yog hnub twg koj nrauj txiv los ces, hu ua tus hmoob ces tsis tig ncaj lawm tiag nawb.

[@colleenchan9872]

Txhob tu siab os sisted kuv tus niam hluas twb yuav mekas dub thiab os yus rau siab khwv kom yus muaj nyiaj ua neej sib hlub yam twg los yus muaj qhov zoo yeej meem ua lwm hnub qhov zoo yeej yuav yeej xwb os mog es good luck rau koj os!

[@tubhmoobhmoob2944]

Tus niam tsev txhob tu siab qhov no yog koj txoj kev xaiv vim koj niam twb hais koj tag lawm, kuv los yeej tib yam vim tuaj txog los yeej tsis zoo txib thiab txawv2, lwm hnub koj cov koj mam paub xwb

[@chiliayang5832]

Me ntxhais zoo li koj ces lawv tsis hlub yus es txhob mus thab lawv lawm mas😢

[@user-fr4mm7di5t]

Good morning Kablia

[@richitsab511]

🫢 good teaching her a lesson for marry the outsiders person.🤔 meka dub khoom nchag nchag lis ho😁

[@choualor8959]

Sister, i know how you feel. Yes, it does hurt a lot. But look, you are not alone in this world. And not only that, your husband loves you. That's all it matters. Be strong girl. You got this.

[@ellasong6373]

You sound like a sweet, loving daughter. It's unfotunate, older ppl don't see that in you. Just know that you did out of love to your dad & the older folks' opinions don't matter. The kids, be thankful & happy you both still around to love them. They don't need grandma. Best wish.

[@youwatchme3631]

Kuv twb yog hmoob dab laug niam lawv twb tsis nyiam kuv os.

[@Aurora-cb2ji]

Don’t worry sister. Work hard on your life and raise your children to be good people. Your siblings, kids and mostly your husband is more than enough for you to have a complete and happy life. Our happiness is not based on others but our own believes of happiness.

[@yoglis9321]

When you married outsiders, they disowned you, so don't feel sad. Be happy u choose that life your parents already told you from the start.

[@4beochang]

You are not alone, i been with my girlfriend for over 20 years and 5 kids...still not married. And we're both Hmong, my family is Christian, her's traditional...just stay strong.

[@nengthao8318]

Txawm yog vauv dub vauv dawb los yog tus vauv ntawd yog ib tus neeg ua laj kam zoo yog neeg tsim txiaj coj zoo ces yus yuav tsum zoo siab nrog nej me nyuam. Tej yam zoo li no yog tim hmoob tseem ruam dhau lawm xwb. Cov coj tsis paub coj xwb tus tsis kam koom tes mas thiaj li nyuaj pob, tus vauv twb koom tes ces txawm nws tsis paub hmoob kev cai los tus coj yuav tsum nrhiav ib tug neeg los sawv tus vauv ntawd chaw ua kom tiav kom tag txoj kab txoj ke ntawd rau tus ntxhais vauv ntawd xwb los pob. Qhov ua kom zoo nkauj ces ho tsis lees ua li qhov tsis zoo ua no ces ho muab coj los lob kom tsis zoo nkauj. Tim koj niam ruam dhau tsis txawj coj kom ncaj nruab nrab rau nej txhua leej txhua tus. Niam no hmoob yuav tau hloov nawb. Tub nyab ntxhais vauv txawm yuav yog haiv neeg dab tsi los peb tsuas xyeej tsam tau tus ua tub sab tsis tsim txiaj xwb. Yog tau tus zoo muaj dej num zoo nrog luag ua lawm ces cov ua niam ua txiv yuav tau lees txais. Txhob thwm thwm hmoob tej kev ua noj ua haus heev vim luag lwm haiv neeg luag tsis tshua ua noj li peb hmoob. Kuv hais li kuv xav xwb.

[@c.lee-soulisak327]

Hi sister..thank you for sharing. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Your life is what you make it. Love your children so that they won't even miss not having grandparents. This is what I told myself to do. My husband is Laotian. After being married for 20 years my mom finally accepted him bc he's the only son-in-law that does everything she asks. You are not alone, Sister. My mom never killed chicken for me, came to help me out during the 1 month or even come to visit my three babies either. But I told myself..I can get busy living or I can get busy dying. Since I only have one life..I chose to get busy living. We are now married 28 years and hoping to grow old together. I never regretted all those years that I had to live with my mother ignoring me.

[@nengxiong6991]

Oh god your parent have the same thought like me !! I have a daughter do not like hmong men because she can’t speak hmong , i think you should not be sad with what your mom doing to you because this is your choice ! You have what you like Be happy and be your own 👍

[@kerlee7536]

yog paub tu siab ces koj yeej mloog koj niam koj txiv hais lawm koj puas paub tias koj niam lawv twb haj yam tu siab rau koj thiab twb tag kev cia siab rau koj lawm mas qhov koj mus yuav lwm haiv neeg uas lawv tsis pom zoo es koj tseem mus yuav ces txhais tau tias koj twb txiav lawv thiab koj thaum ntxov lawm tsis yog lawv saib tsis taus koj

[@maiyang3659]

Cas tseem yuav paub xav noj qaib thiab naw. Yuav dub ces noj li dub noj xwb yeej tsis ua cas li. Me ntxhais. Yuv twb ntxiav txim sisb mus yuav lwm haiv neeg lawm, lawv hais neeg coj li li cas yus yuav tau coj li ntawd

[@m.muaslis6902]

Your mom is such a narcissistic. However, first of all, forgive her. 2nd of all, learn to love from afar. When you learn to do that, you become so much stronger and your heartaches and pains becomes lesser and lesser. When you continue to seek after the very person who is a narcissistic, for their approval and love, you will FALL EVERYTIME and you will HURT EVERYTIME. So focus on you and your little family. They are the ones who matters most. May the Lord gives you peace. ❤

[@user-di8xl9pr6o]

Welcome to the evil mom / dad N grand ma /grand pa club. don't be sad, be humble and righteous heart and someday will prosper in the long run

[@PM-oe5mk]

Don't be too sad, sister. Save your energy and emotions for your husband and children. They should be the most important people in your life now, not your mother, especially since she cares ZIP for your husband and children! Just live the life YOU chose for yourself and stop wishing/caring so much for something that will never come from your narrow-minded mother. Just accept the fact that she will never treat you and your family like your siblings' families and move on. Dwelling on the impossible will only kill you inside slowly. The silver lining is that you and your husband don't owe your mother anything, including that cow someday. Maybe someday your mother will relent and come around to caring a little for your family. And if she never does, it's okay as long as your husband and children love you. After all, your life is with them, not with your mother. Like you, I married a non-Hmong man (Caucasian), but unlike you, my whole family is accepting of him and our children. When I got married (my father had already passed), my mother was a little concerned (due to cultural differences), but after a couple of years, she actually became quite proud of her vauv Miskas. She happily acknowledged his presence to people we meet who didn't know of him. Sadly, my mom passed away 5 years ago. I've been with my Miskas husband for 30 years and he loves me now as much if not more than when we first fell in-love.

[@alainiathao1630]

It's so sad that people think you will be treated the same when you married outside even though they have been informed otherwise but choose to ignore it. You chose to marry other people instead of Hmong so enjoy your life instead of depressing over not being included.

[@yepper1]

I was lucky enough my parents accepted my husband who is Caucasian. I would be heart broken if my parents cut me out like that too.

[@maixiong-mu5cm]

No offense but i say Don't Worry Just Be Happy! U have ur own family to worry about. Why waste time with being sad, angry, depressed, or disappointed at ur mom for not loving u the way she loves ur siblings. She has already told u from the beginning not to marry other races. U didn't listen. U chose ur own destiny, so live with it. Be a good mother n be strong 4 urself. Love ur children equally. Don't do what ur mom did 2 u. As parents, we have high expectations for our children. When those expectations are not met, we get disappointed n we don't want to love that child anymore. U r a mother, too. Someday u will understand.

[@vangxwb]

To be honest, your mom already told you so in a way you can't be mad at her. You choose your life, you have to live it.

[@MSMAIYANG]

Yog kuv mas, yog yuav tos kom lawv nav yus thaum yus muaj xwb ces tsis k k lawv. They should love you unconditionally. Not on your success or what you can give them. They don’t deserve your love. Your mom is xenophobic and she doesn’t hide it. She will never change so don’t give her your time.

[@seelee9370]

Brother yog kv tseem tau ib txij nkawm zoo li ntawm kj hais thiab ces xum muab nws nrauj pov tseg ntshe yuav zoo dua os lod. Twb tsis hais yuav yog yus txij nkawm os lod . Kv muaj ib tug ntxhais zoo li ntawm kj hais ntawv es niaj hnub niam no kv twb tsis pom qab yuav ua zaj twg li os lod. Every time yus hais lus rau mas zoo li hais raubpob ntoos xwb os lod

[@kouavang5928]

Why kid like this one never understand why her parents are so disappointed on her? Life decisions have consequences. When you have your own children and you don't approve what they do, you will understand why your mother acts as she does.

[@maitvang1]

I was once in your shoe but we never have a wedding or even pay for the downy. My baby daddy don't go around my family cause my family don't like him. And he constantly cheat on me. We had a baby girl together my parents came to accept my life and my baby so they basically raise her. We didn't work out and broke up after he had kids with other girls. Now I'm married to a hmong guy and he loved my daughter as his. At least your able to do it properly for them to accept him. Once u have a good job and your husband help you and able to buy your mother thing she will accept your life.

[@visibopath1412]

Thaum koj loj tuaj koj yeej nrog dub, nrog dawb ces koj yeej tau saj lawv tag ces koj lub siab yeej tsis xib rau Hmoog guys li mas. Vim koj lub siab thiab lub cev twb muab rau lawv tag sim qhov loj, koj qab txawv es koj yuav ua cas nyiam tau hluas nraug Hmoob tau li cas lawm. When you goes black you can't turn back. hahaha.. That's who you are what you are. It's hard for your heart and feeling to date a Hmong guys.

[@hmooblor1]

you have the right to choose your own path but you cant force other people to bless your decision. Its true you married other race you should live your life according to his family and their belief. Sounds like you wanted to live a hmong life and be like a hmong wife and expect your husband to be like a hmong husband. And yes eating hamburger or pizza after child birth is ok.

[@tswjntug2346]

Hehehe! Dub ces yog dub xwb, nyob dub lus xwb las mas yam daim ntau. Dub lawm es ntxua npaum li cas los nim yuav txawj dawb tuaj nas. Yuav dub, yog dub muab trash ces tag hauv ris, yug los xiambtiam xwb tiag laus. Txhob tu tu siab vim yus xaiv txoj kev dub lus taug lawm.

[@PhoHmooAmerica]

Should have listened to your mom. Once you go black you won’t go back

[@mrsfabulouslee2995]

Of course All ur kids u should treat them the same. But I can understand hmong parents stereotype. I've dated many other race but marry hmong. And all my sisters marry interracial. Eventho u think it's the same. It really is not. All Asians marry the whole family but kaydoo and meka only marry their spouse. Ur spouse would need to work extra harder to earn their acknowledgment. My parents always look down on me n my hmong husband because we are not educated. While all my sisters married interracial and are all educated. Luckily all my sisters ended up following shaman ways and so their husband had to learn our culture and convert to hmong religion. But honestly when it comes down to doing anything to help my parents or getting their hands dirty. I have not yet to see that in 25 years. But just do ur best at least you've done your part. Hmong ppl are very judgemental and they also like to only acknowledge who can help them only no matter what race.

[@kouavang5928]

Lady, do you think you are a hypocrite? You don't like Hmong husband, why is it a problem for your parents not liking black son in law? Koj saib tsis taus hmoob txiv neej, it seems OK for you to look down on Hmong. But you don't like looking down on your husband. Koj paub tu siab rau koj niam koj txiv, tiam sis koj tsis nyiam koj niam koj txiv tu siab rau koj.

[@MallPeaMallCow]

Kaydo luver 🤮👎

[@dannymoua8668]

khedub are bad

[@DisBoiVaj]

Have some self respect! You don’t need your mom or anyone else that don’t share your values in your life. Just live happily with your husband.