Reading my EDGY Diary from MIDDLE SCHOOL… *i was not okay*

We're used to it at this point. (Reading my old diaries part 3)
Anyways buckle up for this video cuz it's a long one!! This is my last diary that I have lined up for this series so this is the last diary reading vid as of now. hope u enjoy :)

[@angelikadevara]

8:13 💀💀

[@radleftovers]

NAH I CRIEDDD

[@carminevinci3579]

WHY DID THE MUSIC BECOME DEPRESSING AT THE END

[@Lunarinaron]

😭😭😭

[@berrylala1]

HELL NAH

[@meptune0335]

667th like 😈

[@asiyak.4423]

“I don’t need a boy… I need education!!!” She’s so real for that 😔✌️😭

[@Nopey4]

frfr

[@kurakurakitti]

@@asiyak.4423 frrrrrr

[@Fashion_in_Roblox]

13:25 relatable

[@scollaceyuri]

the dork diaries influence is so real

[@lunathejaguar]

REAL

[@MontgomerySims-li5qt]

lmaooo reading back on my old diaries i wrote exactly like her

[@Ariezaudios]

Fr❤

[@del00s1onal]

Omg I think I read ALL of those books in elementary school 😭

[@BlakeleyBilling-oy9pm]

Same!

[@YourFavesXOXO]

younger her: "I DESPISE him." her now: "Enemies to lovers 🤨"

[@enzomcr]

How did u get blue comment

[@VampireRush]

HELPP

[@VampireRush]

​@@enzomcrPeople search that keyword a lot so it turned blue like- Enemies to lovers

[@sweetlotusheartss]

WHY IS THERE BLUE COMMENTS ON YT....?

[@itzdi4n]

it's an update.

[@ailsahuff]

This is scary, I was the same age as you in every year, going through almost identical struggles and resolutions. Thank you for sharing this, it’s really cool how that whole time I thought I was alone, but you and probably many others were going through the same thing…

[@angelikadevara]

it's crazy how similar we all rlly are hahah 🫶🏼

[@Therealfloralzone]

@@angelikadevarafr ❤

[@Jjiijjmmmmd]

Iziz8sù

[@stephaniegonzalez-pinedo4127]

👆 ummm what do you mean

[@aishiixo]

SAME HAHA! Is this just the normal life of a tween-teenage girl between 2018-2022? lmao

[@CATSUOIEATSCATTOES]

HELP IM SO HAPPY SOMEONE ELSE EXPERIENCED A CRAZY A CRINGY CHILDHOOD DIARY W DRAWINGS AND RANDOM SCENES / MOTIVATION LOLOOL

[@angelikadevara]

YESSS 🤝🤝

[@CosmicECLIPSEanimations12]

It’s so real tho😂

[@josieaurelina]

why is some of your pasts self’s thoughts lowkey real 💀

[@dollettebby]

nah ur just corny LMAO

[@NyneeAli-ew5ff]

🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗

[@lucindabass2959]

It’s me Ruby!1!1!

[@zun1v3rs41z]

RUUBY????

[@Four4andx]

Ruby!?!

[@Disneye-i5q]

THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENTTT>>>>>>>

[@graceelegino9081]

real!

[@aisha__5224]

This was honestly so real. Being 11 and thinking others were just too immature. Being 13, chronically online, learning about new insecurities that I didn’t know i was supposed to have due to social media. Being an angry 14 year old, isolated, thinking you’re the center of the universe with all the problems in the world while others around u had everything they want. Then being 15 and accepting everyone has their own shit to deal and recognizing the idea you had of selfishness and self obsession you once had was childish and self centered. Now, being 16 and reconnecting with god while appreciating those who genuinely love and care about you, not having to carry the dread of being alone and unaccomplished, made me realize how grateful i am that I am not the same person that i was at 14. (Sorry for bad grammar)

[@NourAladdin-jn9my]

I'm 13 rn and why are the 13 and 11 parts lowkey real

[@purples3a]

Wait this is too real-

[@Husain5XG]

Wth! That's so me!

[@purpledummY]

Wait why is 11 and 13 so real tho, even tho I just turned 12 😭

[@Alyssaa_..]

At 14 everything just clicked for me

[@BkDkForever270]

The handwriting getting messier is so real

[@funnycadedishserver]

FR except my handwriting has always been pretty messy unless I put effort into making it nice but it does get tiring writing so much with your hands for yearrrsss 😭

[@Apollo_Justice-is_fine]

I used to journal for years and my handwriting was so bad at least half of it is illegible I finally fixed my handwriting now, only to learn japanese and have to restart fixing my handwriting (especially kanji, half the time I just end up drawing the kanji way bigger than all the other characters 😭)

[@pauykit]

help I thought you were older than me 😭your younger self honestly sounds like a nice girl to hang out with, I think everyone had a similar phase, but the fact that we can look back and notice in which things we were wrong shows a lot about our growth

[@kamisaperson]

1:20 “if you’re a bully STOP IT” bet i’ll use that in my next argument☠️

[@Apollo_Justice-is_fine]

I can’t explain this but it sounds like it’d be accompanied by a sad spongebob or shrek image

[@itsofrustrating]

Honestly you are so real for doing this. Turns out a lot of people go through the same things (cringy diary entries, crushes, insecurities) and it helps to know that you’re not alone in the way you feel

[@ce_982]

the whole being labelled as a reader by teachers thing is so real because i was in the exact same situation as you. i literally had no friends when school started up again after quarantine, so all i had to do during tutor period (homeroom) was read because what else are you supposed to do when you have no one to speak to? i'm kind of glad about it all though, because it's what got me into reading more.

[@RitaIppoliti-mp1sl]

you can really see her grow in maturity throughout that book in her life

[@chococheriheart]

As a middle schooler, this is making me wanna write more in my diary to read when im older 😔😔

[@confused_confusion]

Same😭

[@Vwithgreenbackround]

Fr

[@Alyssaa_..]

I am and ive been for 2 yearss. Its so fun even reading now still writing it.

[@Bagelbusters]

You were so real for this. I never had any crushes so I pretended I did and wrote about a boy named Mark (god knows why) and he was basically the male version of myself until seventh grade when I revealed EVERYTHING. KZbinr apology level diary entry. I was convinced I was a lesbian since I knew there was something “weird” about me (I was actually trans) and I remember crying because I lied to my diary about my supposed sexuality. I should really get that out again and see what I wrote. It was in that exact tone with all those cringe abbreviations and stuff 💀

[@Kattrina-catt]

Lmao 😭🙏

[@radiationoverdrive]

lol

[@RysI990]

@@radiationoverdrivesuitcase

[@bimates2690]

Sometimes, I wish I kept little papers I wrote on (didn’t have a diary), just see how I improved… But, also I feel cringing already. Even if it was a coping mechanism that was good lol.

[@Autumn_Gacha_LovesPugs]

13:04 “Tell your kids you love them before I take them😀” That was so necessary😊

[@yixuan_aa]

the self-growth and improvement though?!??? so inspiring lollll

[@verylostdoommarauder]

I did have a diary from when I was like 10 but I didn't write that much in terms of actual diary stuff, both because I was a really anxious kid that didn't like writing my actual thoughts down and also because I filled it with fan-made Pokemon. But in retrospect I think it's probably for the best because I remember daydreaming about a number of things that I would rather not have written proof of.

[@isabellas5447]

Im 14 and i actually resonate with a lot of your 14 y/o self's feelings

[@Finn_sisjon]

I’m 14 and I definitely don’t maybe when I was 12

[@isabellas5447]

@@Finn_sisjon that's nice

[@notso_cody]

Basically r/im14andifindthisdeep

[@CosmicECLIPSEanimations12]

14 and I know my friend would probably relate to this a bit. (I also relate to it kinda. )

[@starcrumblez]

I dont think there was anything like that​@@notso_cody

[@fllooploop]

Your younger self is actually so real

[@iwashere583]

This is so funny and needs more views lolll, I also had unhinged diaries as a kid

[@iwashere583]

Also you have a nice personality girlie

[@Ash_pawz_OwO]

Why is this so inspiring? The last entry made me almost cry.

[@peridotplasmaa]

it DID make me cry, lol.

[@OpaliteStudios]

THE LAST BIT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL! YOU SHOULD TOTALLY MAKE SOME SORT OF HOOK SERIES

[@thatweirdkid08]

Why was I actually so invested in this lmao.

[@BoldActionSkitty]

Your diary at the end (the fuzzy one with the pizza design) is so adorable! I wish I had one like it!

[@lo-px1ek]

I know this is a silly fun video but it also feels like a kind of bittersweet love letter to girlhood. Its crazy to look back on how emotional and sensitive we were at that age, and how it seemed all-consuming at the time, and realize now that it was just because we were young and scared and growing. (Also apparently I've reached an age where youtubers are younger than me?? Which did not register in my brain at first, and I was very confused when you mentioned having TikTok in 6th grade lmao)

[@Kayla.12.]

"I don't need a boy i need education." SHE WAS SO REAL FOR THAT, ATEE 🗣

[@Not.A.Gråpe]

12:55 “Welp, I don’t want to read my old dairy entries or I’ll die of cringe.” *acts like nothing happened*

[@millyformilly]

LOLLLL

[@CaleeAlana]

Just wanna say this was beautiful!! Thank you for being vulnerable. Love the ending where you talk about how God helped you with some insecurities ❤ Loved seeing how you matured and changed!!!

[@Mxl1ha]

gonna be 100% honest here, im gonna turn 14 and i share a bit of the same insecurities you had when you were 14

[@angelikadevara]

Yuppp I feel like everyone goes through the same phases haha

[@jaclynotoole445]

this motivated me to read my old diary 😭😭 how dare you make me relive that chaos hehe

[@BoldActionSkitty]

I reread an old diary of mine too, one I thought I lost. Wasn't as cringe as I thought (it was a high school diary) but it still had some weird moments lol.

[@RafalRacegPolonusSum]

My diaries are like: 30% prayers and mental health 30% politics 30% hobbies 10% things that actually happened 100% unintelligible

[@Nana-kx4hc]

why do you mean 30% politics 😭???

[@RafalRacegPolonusSum]

@@Nana-kx4hc Sometimes one needs to transfer their frustration to paper ig

[@Apollo_Justice-is_fine]

Same except the politics because I lowkey didn’t even know what politics were when I was younger and still wrote diaries, just replace the 30% with writing entire paragraphs about my fav games/mangas because I can’t shut up about them

[@danihi1]

It’s nice u had a diary. I stopped writing in mine bc my sibling always tried to read it.

[@HeavyMetalLvrrr]

8:52 is that SpongeBob???

[@CozyQuilt28]

I loved the ending. As I'm going through this time of my life myself, the end was so strong and true. Thank you for sharing this.

[@ce_982]

this made me remember all the cringy drawings of myself i used to put in my old diary's, they would never even look like me either😭

[@DOINGSTUFF2626]

“Whose cat is mustier” I’M CACKLINGGG 😭

[@Maneyaku]

angelika was.......demonika...edgelord ,emo asf back in the day 🤣

[@angelikadevara]

🤫🧏‍♀️

[@eienryucho6648]

This was so fun to watch, I had never seen a diary reading video before You were so real though! You were so much better than most people are at that age The negativity was so mild in my eyes Hope you have a great life and capture it in your next diaries :)

[@rainy5517]

Been writing dairy for over a decade now (starting when i was 11) and kudos to you showing your dairy in the open like that!

[@ArsonTheShroom]

how is this not more liked this is actually peak comedy

[@Ng8htmere]

Dairies are a very helpful way of dealing with emotions. I bottled them up when I was a kid, and it was not fun.

[@infinite_16]

Same except I used to have a diary, a physical and online one and yeah I was messed up like not well. I stopped for sometime and I got into it again

[@flameplasmainian85724]

I was a 7th grader in covid. I was a bit of a troublemaker (not full on) my main friend group was online. I am autistic and have adhd (no I’m not using this as an excuse I make many mistakes. I’m just saying this because it does partially contribute to what I said and did back then) so I was very edgy because supposedly autistic people have problems regulating their emotions and I was also lonely. I would unintentionally sound rude to the friend group from having strong emotional reactions to things I wouldn’t care for now. This made we throw around words like “depression” “sadness” when I didn’t have depression. I thought I did. But I actually hit depression in 9th grade. I’m doing better now. Back then I would post edgy stuff of my oc taking everyone out. So yeah. The lonely aspect of this hit home. I’m sorry if this sounds messy I’m bad at wording sentences.

[@morrioghainn]

Dislikes: throwing up, math, bugs I'm 22 and gotta say girl you're so real for that🙏🏻

[@Eggofreggo]

Don't forget the science😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@Art.and.Hamsters]

IKR THOSE ARE MY FEARS

[@eggwithketchup609]

the character development is insane

[@LilNezuko2347]

fr

[@Eggofreggo]

Real😭😭😭

[@nalurodriigues]

"If you're a bully, stop" and then bullies each and every boy she sees an icon, truly

[@skinkshamer]

Dude whaaat how were you this charismatic at 11 while I just stared at friend groups lol im 🪦

[@angelikadevara]

HAHAH I'm sure you were charismatic in your own way

[@Nyctophobiadrawz]

I’m impressed how you can write that much 😭 I used to write short stories (and now I print them) and one page of it = four days of my hands hurting lol

[@Yukibowbliss]

I love how you always say “she” when your talking about yourself💀💀

[@Silver_246]

i love how you say “she” and “she’s” as in you’re talking about a completely different person 😭

[@mokasf1ction]

my favorite types of videos >>>>

[@Geo_serb]

Damn, the ending was so beautiful, im glad you are doing better, this is kinda expiring even though we are not going through same problems.

[@LovingLyn]

21:34 ME FR RN I’M ABOUT TO SWITCH SCHOOLS BRO staff is basically bullying me omg 😭 Like I fr thought I was the problem but NO. No, now I’ve learned and I’m doing a lot better lol. I’d rather DIE than go there another day… 💀 I am scared, but I know it’s for the best. I’m scared to leave my friends, my BEST friend, and what I’ve known for years behind. But if I want to live a happy life and not just FAIL every class, I need a school that will support me and actually properly do what they are legally required to. What made me realize that this school is hopeless and the problem isn’t exactly ME was the response I got when I finally said something about all of it. They really don’t care one bit. They’ve always said that they were trying, blah blah blah… but no. They never were. They said I was the one who wasn’t trying, but I wasted the moments that I could have spent doing things that make me happy constantly worrying about that place and what I could do. I’m glad I will finally get out of there next month. It ruined my mental health.

[@JupiterOnlyYt]

3:20 YOUR SINGING THOUGH-❤😭

[@That_1GayTheaterKid]

She got the lead role for a reason

[@39Fanclub]

Its funny to think about how we were roughly the same age and journaling too, about very different things. I think i was complaining about how people having crushes is super dumb lol

[@Justalilllama]

3:42 this is just for myself :)

[@OiOiOiAiAiAi-z2t]

12:05 as somebody with hyperhidrosis, TRUST ME POOKIE YOUR HANDS ARE LIKE FOUNTAINS NOT JUST A LIL BIT OF SWEAT😭

[@simplyluna1930]

There's no words to explain how much this resonated with me

[@RobloxbyS]

HELP SHE WROTE SOMETHING IN HER DIARY ON MY BIRTHDAY 😔😔 4:56

[@ariellenahh]

omg girl youre filipino, believe in God, had crazy crush thoughts, felt alone in school, writes in diaries.... literally twinning (well except im a sophomore😂)

[@Waffles2009]

I'm so glad i found this channel about a week ago. I love the message at the end. ❤

[@JoDo818]

Bro i dont like how i relate to this as a guy, prob watching this for the cringe inducing power of these journals. Idk im sick so i dont know what i want. But you real for just sharing this

[@Skittlesarecool]

2:54 you got a like from me after you said “enemies to lovers” bc I was dying 💀💀 ur so me istg I’m gonna binge watch all ur vids ❗️❗️

[@noahsdragonfruit]

I saw this right when she said it Edit: it's sooo real indeed

[@cocoa.ava_xoxo]

so goofy! tbh you would make such a good actor!

[@zozo0517]

this is the first video I watched from you and I loved it! now I’ve been binging all your vids lol you’re so fun :))

[@dudeidrk]

crazy to think we're the same age and lowkey wish i had written a diary so i could look back on my middle school life..

[@jurupinga7282]

you were so mature i could never

[@lorettap4126]

stop... the end actually made me cry!!! but everithing els was so cringeee

[@Serial_Designation_X]

ah yes the famed “talk abt urself like someone else is gonna read this and ur gonna publish it **cough cough SHE WROTE THIS FOR THE VID A WEEK AGO cough cough** i think i’m sick

[@lorettap4126]

@@Serial_Designation_X whattt I didnt say enithing ab me and se liked my comment sooo ❤

[@Serial_Designation_X]

@@lorettap4126 no not u

[@lorettap4126]

​@@Serial_Designation_Xoh okey

[@Musicisavibechangemymind]

I came for the diary entries, but DID I JUST SEE SOME TAGALOG !! AND CHRISTIANITY ?! I’m still around the age of these diary entries and it’s amazing to see how much you’ve grown, it’s really inspiring and you’re giving me the motivation to write some more in my own diary !! (I think ur now one of my favourite KZbinrs :) )

[@Lucy_Vlogzzz]

Wait guys it's so cute how she slowly got better and grew her mindset and became happier and she grew closer to God ❤

[@JJ-ii5dq]

Srs I love your growth as a person and omg girl you are sooo pretty (masallahhhh)

[@angelikadevara]

AHH TY

[@Alistar953]

I remember I found mine as well lol. I had a whole fanfiction novel and I wrote an entire book about schools and power hierarchies and basically everything sketchy happening but as a novel.

[@Big_Mac_Bastian]

Her: bullying is bad Also Her: I WILL MESS THEM UP VERBALLY

[@sheebitz]

I would love to do something like this but my audhd ass couldn’t keep up a journal for more than a week 😂😭 I only have one that I had to do for school in like 1st grade but the rest are notebooks with only 3 pages filled out lmao. Your middle school thoughts are a whole mood tho tbh

[@Little-bites382]

4:01 HELP THE CHEETOS BAHAH GIRL SO REAL I HAD THIS PHASE TOO 😭😭 Also you’re so pretty omg 😱

[@Serial_Designation_X]

i could be wrong but something in the back of my mind says she wrote this a week ago for this vid

[@Kittycute12-g6l]

23:38 this was like the exemple of “more you grow you’ll be more mature ”

[@snigdha04_]

Bro the start -💀 nah fr like I started my journalism like that tooo😭😭😭😭

[@biggychiggy33]

"If it breaks I will rip my nail off" BAHAHAFSKABXIFI WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY

[@alittlesillyalittlegoofy]

didnt expect to be so utterly called out and seen by the part ab isolation 😭 like wow get out of my mind rn

[@bobi-l6v]

NO WAY I HAVE THE SAME KIND OF JOURNAL, THE LOCK IS DEFORMED AND THE POMPOM CAME OFF 😭😭😭

[@SillyGoober2012]

Why do I love theses videos so much they are so relatable from when I was 10 lol

[@stuffbyemmie]

so relatable honestly i still relate to parts of this.

[@littlebitlost547]

I've been documenting my secondary school life since year seven and GIRL I am hyped to be old enough to read those back

[@Blackkittycatmew]

The thumbnail is so!... Unique!!

[@skittlePsychic]

LOL

[@Stvhlinger]

It's full of... personality.

[@mourati5809]

Stopppp, I am actually (close) 13 years old and I actually TEARED UP at your last log at your diary 😭😭😭

[@ALLAN4R3AL]

I'm in middle school rn and my "diary" (vent book) is all suicide, ect. And..yeah 😨

[@GirlGuts.]

Honestly, I'm kind of impressed with your like 12 year old selfs self-awareness.

[@drayocat1980]

lmao i'm right around the same age as you and this kinda makes me want to go back and read my journal from the covid era

[@SumayaKhalaf]

This is actually so inspiring. Ty sm

[@Astris_online]

Oh my words, your handwriting is so neat!!!!❤❤

[@liaf3iry]

your sister and I are probably the same age bc I was also in 8th grade in 2018! my 6th grade diary was mostly about watching dan and phil or me worrying trump getting elected would mean they would deport my parents 💀😭

[@Bat_Fall]

I love ur smile (i noticed u had a nice smilr after u listrd the compliments)

[@1t9ss24]

Ur videos are very aesthetic and inspirational 😭❤️

[@hannahriv5169]

The end part made me cry ❤

[@gatokosmico]

aww i mean it´s okay. when i was 12-13 (born 2008) i remember i was so OBSSESED with the gravity falls dairy, like i wanted so bad to make something similar, so i would spends hours and hours creating different creatures and lore to them. eventually one day my mom called me out for it and asked me if i was gay or under the influence of the devil. wich is messed up cause it was literally a diary... like i wrote personal stuff in it too man. but i mean guillermo del toro basically had the same history and he´s cool af and successful.

[@hamsterguysoldierlol193]

Diary of a Wimpy Kid ❌ Diary of a Concerning Kid ✅

[@MewGamer-bj9in]

An edgy diary with that cover is genius