New Rule: Atheists Day | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

The fastest growing religious group in the United States are “Nones” - as in no religion at all - and it's time they get a holiday of their own.

[@NewMessage]

"What are you doing for Atheist Day?" "Nothing." "Oh, Orthodox, eh?"

[@ZeroOskul]

Atheism is an idea and god is an idea. As ideas, they are equally real, so atheism is wrong because the idea of god definitely exists. I am agnostic.

[@australien6611]

​@@ZeroOskul agreed 👍 me too

[@australien6611]

😂

[@lawrencedoliveiro9104]

Remember, every religion insists theirs is the one true god, and everybody else’s god is false. Looking at all their followers, let’s face it, none of them is any smarter than the rest. Therefore they must all be equally right (or wrong) -- namely, _all_ their gods must be false. QED.

[@Kentrc11]

@ZeroOskul Wrong. Atheism is having no proof of a religion.

[@Syren2023]

My Catholic mother, who thought you would burn eternally for eating meat on Friday but otherwise lived a life that would be called evil by every standard, used to love to make a show of "giving up" something for Lent. Every year, even when I was an adult she would demand "what are you giving up for Lent?" I finally told her, "I'm giving up being Catholic."

[@kappla]

👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻

[@tegridy9569]

😂😂😂

[@jr0868]

She is a fanatic, not religious. You don't have to starve because it was a Friday you just need to give up something that you are addicted to like, don't go to social media that day, don't listen to music, don't drink wine for example but you must do it by yourself not by being forced to, since we have free will. If you don't want to, just don't do it 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@soniapereira2176]

Exactly 🎉

[@tegridy9569]

What's the difference between being fanatic and religious?

[@vhdtbrz]

I'm an Atheist, and I approve this message

[@Conmezzo]

I'm not an atheist and I approve this message.

[@mrpearson1230]

I'm Agnostic and I 2nd that approval 🤝🏾!

[@danielmendes2162]

I’m Catholic and I approve this message

[@rileyp3707]

We don’t need your approval daddy

[@HendrixRam0s]

im a person that hasnt seen the full video yet.. .

[@SpinX522]

Millennial here. The last time I was in a church for anything other than a wedding or a funeral I was 7. There’s nothing like sleeping in on a Sunday morning.

[@kenhasibar2624]

Oh yeah? Try tues, weds, thurs... Works for me. 😅Cheers 🍻🥃

[@docdaytona108]

“Atheists’ Day is about NOT buying something.” “Challenge ACCEPTED.”-Hallmark.

[@id10t98]

ouch. that hurts lol

[@joiisler8986]

😂😂😂😂

[@St.Linguini_of_Pesto]

@Doc Daytona 😂😂😂 Hallmark cards presents Happy _Meh_ day cards.

[@thedeadpoolwhochuckles.6852]

Its all empty packages of candy anyway.

[@brekerr]

Can't wait to see that😂😂😂

[@chloel1979]

I like how the "no not the nun who used to beat you with a ruler for being left handed" was holding the ruler in her left hand.

[@jeangillespie1173]

Been there, done that!

[@warlockofwordschannel7901]

Perfect hypocrisy!

[@davidkramer333]

The graphics person was definitely on it 😂

[@lukassnakeman]

It’s the writing left handed they didn’t approve of. Anything else was fine. I’m sure if they saw you throw a Molotov left handed at an abortion clinic the only thing they’d have a problem with is you don’t throw one in each hand 😊

[@far2ez539]

@@lukassnakeman Weird considering all the firebombings going on are from the left against pro-life clinics.

[@GriffinsFanChris]

The growth of Atheists is the only statistic I ever see which leads me to beleive people have actually gotten smarter over time.

[@derrickcarson]

More devisiveness today. Crime. Murder. Hatred. Etc... Smarter??? Yeah right! If that's the only thing that you see that makes you think we are getting smarter, then you are analyzing the growth of Atheism incorrectly.

[@stnrodriguez]

@@derrickcarson crime murder and hatred are actually lower.......wtf you talking about?

[@derrickcarson]

@@stnrodriguez By what static? Show me your data and I'll show you mine

[@michaelzajic6231]

And most of us are closet cases. Outspokenness brings a price with family and friends and neighbors. Your courage and honesty are welcome.

[@TheMaggieDress1]

it truly does....the religious indoctrination bullshit at birth is chid abuse

[@elainehewitt6813]

It's true. I sit there and act like I'm agreeing when people go on about Jesus etc. I make myself sick.. The alternative is no one talking to me and having no clients.

[@ScottGrammer]

03:49 Ironically the nun holding the ruler with which to 'beat you for being left handed" (that really used to be a thing), is holding the ruler in her left hand. Sinister!

[@Whatisthisstupidfinghandle]

Happened to my mom. She was ambidextrous cause they beat the left out of her

[@kateuhler7803]

Noticed that too

[@dannl3000]

"Sinister", I see what you did there.

[@ScottGrammer]

@@Whatisthisstupidfinghandle Same with my mom. Not Catholic, just a Southern public school in the 1930's! BTW, the "sinister" reference in my comment comes from the fact that in Latin, "right" and "left" are "dexter" and "sinister," respectively. The idea that someone has sinister intentions used to suggest that they would do whatever bad thing they were going to do with their left hand. Hence, left-handedness became equated with evil.

[@johnnyjet3.1412]

at school Grandpa's hand was tied to the chair so that he wouldn't write with it - There was a movie about a repressed Lefty 'The Kings Speech'. (the repression can cause stuttering)

[@awake1807]

"... their idea of hell is a coffee shop with no wifi.." 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@jr0868]

😂

[@zzzT.]

Second best joke and very true 🤠

[@kgrfirdjy]

worse: you have to pay by the minute for wi-fi, but have the option of super slow wi-fi that floods your computer with malware, your email with spam, all your phones // social media with scammers spamming you non-stop, commits non-stop identity theft, & steals all your property + money!

[@genevabecker8441]

I live in a rural area by choice, and I am surrounded by Catholics, and Apostolic Christians...I always thought that they were quaint...NOW, I'm actually afraid of some of them. I asked for an estimate on concrete and he came with a bible...I have ornamental gargoyles in my yard and was recently why I have devils in my yard...they really are starting to scare me...

[@shuttittuppitt9355]

Tell them that you stole them from an (old) church.

[@HarryRenner-h9q]

Yeah they are freaks alright.

[@glenfoxh]

@@shuttittuppitt9355 Or could just say they represent the Notre Dame Cathedral gargoyles. ^.^

[@amaza888]

Amen to that!!! 🤭 I live in a Canadian province where religion has been pushed out of public life and government since the 1960s. We still have the "religious" holidays but we love them because we have days off work, lol! Religion is never a topic. As it should be. ☝

[@Shmerpy]

BC? We kicked religion out of the schools in the '60s here.

[@alexanderingraham8255]

What Canadian province? I may have to move if the zealots take over Massachusetts 😂

[@Acadien42]

​@@alexanderingraham8255 There are a few provinces that have (while others still allow religious schools). I'm guessing in this case, the OP meant Québec which started by removing the frocks from the school and health care systems as part of their "Quiet Revolution" in the 60's. More recently, they passed a Secularism Law (Bill 21) to remove what religion was left from government to much outrage from other parts of Canada who saw it as "racist"...

[@jeffclark5268]

@@Acadien42 it was called racist because the only religious symbols it banned were the nonChristian ones…like Islam. The cross and the catholic mafia are okay but don’t you DARE wear a hijab.

[@bobbyb9712]

And yet there are more Catholics in Quebec than any other province I think.

[@BigSplenda1885]

The one chick yelling YEAH at Easter had me rolling.... lmfao

[@traildoggy]

"I wish God were alive to see this." -- Homer J Simpson

[@ModelCitizenTube]

But Homer doesn't even know Jeebus!

[@Beanos.]

Homer literally meet god 🤦

[@ScottishLeo]

"Holy Ghosting" I'm gonna use that 🤸🤸🤸🤸

[@andre.mateus]

I remember meeting an american tourist here in Portugal. We were talking about politics and I remember him saying something like: "If you want to get into politics in the U.S, the first thing you gotta do is to be religious...even if you're not" 😅

[@seed_drill7135]

Sadly, a buddy of mine with political aspirations joined a church for just that reason.

[@demigod1013]

American politicians are worse than that. They not only lie/claim to be religious, they exploit religion for personal gain.

[@Kurt77777]

Like Obama or Biden. Fake Christian, fake Catholic. I do believe that Obama's a Muslim though, just never had the balls to admit it.

[@stemup]

Which should tell you everything you need to know about the religious community's intellect

[@dengist8172]

In a democracy only the majority matters

[@jopo7996]

Religion is like professional wrestling. It's completely made up, but it still draws a huge crowd

[@dennisheyes4561]

Does professional wrestling really draw a huge crowd anymore? Not really, but neither does religion. 🥁

[@LastBastian]

@@dennisheyes4561 Clearly you've never visited the south.

[@zulufromhell]

This is why we have Festivus. A festivus for the rest of us!

[@Milesco]

And now for the airing of grievances! 😡 😁😄🤣

[@peterpatrisson6847]

My next license plate will be either Festivus or Kavorka

[@znep2751]

​@@peterpatrisson6847 Why not ASSMAN?

[@abc456f]

​@@Milesco Get out the pole!

[@bestlaidplans4511]

"I got alotta problems with you people, and now you're going to hear about it!"

[@Connor-rk8ei]

I've watched this several times. One of my favorite Maher segments of all time.

[@mugsofmirth8101]

Maher excels at atheist dogma but fails miserably as a comedian.

[@johnstauffer4362]

@@mugsofmirth8101 you are fluent in rubbish then.

[@eemage9476]

@@mugsofmirth8101 Sorry to see you here.

[@ollyb7570]

It’s interesting how the exact opposite has been true in Western Europe for some time...being openly religious is often a liability for aspiring politicians.

[@lawrencedoliveiro9104]

That is where the Enlightenment began.

[@JonS]

In the USA during the Cold War, being religious was seen as part of the package that defined you as being against Communism. Since the end of the Cold War, the USA has begun the same process that Western Europe started at the end of World War II.

[@eponymousIme]

It's also interesting how they're not gunning each other down in grocery stores, churches, festivals, schools, clubs, etc. etc. etc.

[@ollyb7570]

@@eponymousIme it does happen but incredibly rare compared to the US. Most countries brought in strict controls after the first mass shooting. That said, observing from Europe, I think the chances of the US ever having European levels of gun control are zero. Good luck.

[@jaidee9570]

As it should be, I'm not voting for someone who then makes decisions because he believes his god told him what was right.

[@maryannlockwood7806]

I’d love atheist day! It should be in August because I don’t think there’s any holidays in August here in the US.💁🏻‍♀️

[@LMM7880]

We have one in Canada thank goodness. It might be because we have winters and want to enjoy that extra summer day off. Now that I think about it, we do have winter holidays, Christmas, Boxing Day and New Year's Day. We have Family Day in February too and Easter often comes in March so there is that. Over all we do have it pretty good.

[@adamvicari3295]

As an atheist, I don't think atheists need a day because then the religious types will claim some stupid horseshit like "see, atheism is a religion too", as if they sky fairy worshippers aren't saying that enough already.

[@jacquelinebouldin8191]

Lol, then they'll say we chose a day in August when it's hot as hell because we're going to hell. 😂🥵🫠👹

[@BubbaSmurft]

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Day_of_Reason It's the beginning of May.

[@rautakallio1852]

@@BubbaSmurft May 4th this year. Star Wars Day. Appropriate I guess.

[@coachtiziana]

"I don't want to make baby Jesus cry!" "Why? Is he sitting behind you on a plane?" Whoever wrote that deserves a raise.

[@stanweaver6116]

That was my one laugh out loud moment, great line!

[@nickbarcheck1019]

Probably some yid.

[@martinarnold4999]

what is the significance of that line?

[@lockstar169]

Bill Maher writes the New Rules segment exclusively.

[@MorallyResponsible]

There are two types of consciousness :Soul based conciseness vs Animal based consciousness. consciousness by itself is an innate idea and for any conciseness to exist there must already be consciousness(Allah the most exalted) to begin with because physical matter(atoms) does not just randomly transform into thinking human. Thoughts are a distinct quality compared to mere carbon skeleton(How does the carbon skeleton acquire the process of thinking when thinking and carbon skeleton are distinct entities with atoms having no characteristic of life and yet atoms have miraculously gained life). Heart is a faculty of cognition that all major scriptures(especially Quran) talk about which houses the soul. if the faculty of heart is impaired human being is blind to realities of God therefore descends to the level of lower than animals. you have somebody like Adolf Hitler whose brain is very sharp(able to efficiently process empirical data and make associations between it) but his heart(soul) is impaired therefore cannot process any spiritual data which is based on mercy and love and is purely driven by ego based consciousness rather than Heart(soul) based consciousness.

[@HelpMeFindTheseSongs]

I've always been on board with Bill, but I strongly disagree with acknowledging Ramadan in public schools. No. BIG NO. Keep religion out of schools.

[@davidschmidt6013]

Born/raised Catholic, which is WHY I became a devout atheist.

[@disneylandguy10]

This is the best New Rule in a long time

[@eleyasbtseamlak9102]

atheists are so obsessed with religious people because you guys are empty

[@michellemckillop5712]

Great. And my rule is; if you don’t believe in me, none ( see what I did there) of you get to heaven. After this life for you all, you cease to exist. Ciao

[@Smile200-z4y]

I think there's heaven, doesnt it mean it's Christian or Jewish

[@Mark-gg6iy]

Three of my favorite quotes: "Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false and by the rulers as useful". Seneca, Roman orator, philosopher and historian, c.37 B.C. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence”- Carl Sagan, American astronomer, planetary scientist, cosmologist, astrophysicist, astrobiologist, author, and science communicator …”It is a matter of no small curiosity to me that the obscure, rambling non-sequiturs of a bronze age desert tribe (whose only claim to fame is that they managed to record their disjointed thoughts) should command the attention of anyone but scholars of antique literature. And yet, supposedly rational and well-educated folk continue to overpraise the bible's homely advice on getting along with each other and to swallow whole its second millennium BCE explanation of the universe. It is a conundrum.”… American Prof. Bart D. Ehrman, biblical scholar specializing in Christian history 0-300CE. "President John Adams signed the TREATY OF TRIPOLI, "Quote, 'The government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian religion.' That was ratified by the United States Senate without debate unanimously in 1797."

[@bernadettebaca2577]

You're wrong Bill Maher

[@jouc12_75]

"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence” You mean like the claim that magical universes pop into existence from nothing? lol Unfortunately for you monkey people, there is zero evidence to support such a ridiculous and unscientific claim.

[@penboyasgod6103]

You missed a great (and more contemporary) quote: "If you could reason with a religious person, they wouldn't be religious." --- Hugh Laurie ("Dr. House")

[@blnunya6689]

And Thomas jefferson had non denominational church services in the US house of representatives during his presidency. What's your point?

[@williamcarr459]

@@bernadettebaca2577 no, you’re wrong Bernadette. gods and jesuses are fantasy lies causing endless problems. All so you can ‘feel’ good. Cause it ‘comforts’ you. Or makes you less afraid of dying. There are NO supernatural dudes living in the sky to help you. Grow up and be real!!

[@johndarcy2838]

Festivus for the rest of us. 😂🎉

[@davidmitchell6873]

I got a lot of problems with you people.

[@nick_john]

and now…you’re gonna hear about ’em!

[@markhernden9472]

SERENITY NOW!

[@markdomar4944]

Perfectly said

[@Timmertube75]

Who doesn’t look forward to the airing of the grievances?

[@waqarkhan9194]

I am a believer from Pakistan and I love Bill Maher. And I am happy to be used as an example that you don't have to agree with someone to find them funny. I love all the Abrahamic Religions and I find it extremely funny how Bill makes fun of all of us.

[@arsenvokrug4198]

In that case, you have a good attitude - unfortunately not shared universally!

[@TheMomeni]

Just don't chop off his head if you see him

[@mohammadalamin3626]

I guess you will find it funny if someone slut-shame your mother and sister with joke. And you will laugh and say it's all joke.

[@Lisa-ik3wt]

A sense of humor relieves a busy worried mind😊

[@damianedwards8827]

It’s a Shame. Atheists unnecessarily overcomplicate it God is simply the Existence of Love. Everybody Believes Love exists Including You

[@danhumphrey5755]

Someone finally took the words right out of my mouth. Thanks, Bill.

[@sirequinox4874]

"holy ghosting." Excellent.

[@chrisknott5543]

Egg shortage and hiding them in the yard...actual LOL!

[@Harris01able]

Thanks for sticking up for us Bill!!

[@jdos5643]

Oh poor thing. Being atheist must be hard you need someone to give you support. You think this guy cares for you? He will cuz you out. He’s only someone who loves attention as much as getting a coin.

[@OmnivorousOtter101]

@@jdos5643your god cares more for attention

[@roberthill799]

@jdos5643 Being literate isn't very hard. Give it a try some time.

[@jdos5643]

@@roberthill799 about what.

[@Smile200-z4y]

Cool beans. Still not believing it man.

[@Bob123Max]

Politicians who proclaim religious beliefs are viewed with alarm and suspicion in Australia.

[@maryannlockwood7806]

Wish that would happen here in the USA. 💁🏻‍♀️

[@hayleyferguson3346]

Here in Canada it's a mix between American religion in politics and the progressive nature of other countries like Australia. Confusing.

[@noahpaulog7617]

...and Australia is an example of a healthy Democracy? How did you feel about the politicians that wanted to take your guns? How did you feel about the ones that forced draconian lockdowns after the guns were gone? Think you'll be able to buy enough of a Navy to defend yourself from China before they nuke Sydney?

[@dennisheyes4561]

@@hayleyferguson3346 America's Christians tends to have more Evangelical than we have here in Canada. Our Christians (at least outside of some in Alberta) tend to be more lax Catholics and Protestants, that for the most part keep their religion to themselves. Throw in the fact that all denominations of Christianity put together here in Canada only make up 54% of the total population (and declining since 1970) according to last census. We are basically approaching the tipping point where politicians are very cautious when it comes to religion. Once that falls below half (like Australia, 44% Christian.) Politicians will likely drop religious pandering entirely, as it will start hurting them politically rather than helping them.

[@thorium222]

Sadly that didn't stop Tony Abott the oaf or what was his name?

[@CyGea]

Bill, if there is a set "Atheist day,"...it will become about buying something. There will definitely be merch made.

[@mphmph1198]

How about we just get together and have some tacos?

[@sixstanger00]

@@mphmph1198 That would be buying something...

[@msavina9129]

Ya gotta eat anyway. 🍔

[@mphmph1198]

@@sixstanger00 Not if it's Taco Tuesday.

[@InSurrealtime]

There already is, Flying Spaghetti Monster merch.

[@TeoBlu]

I used to be religious. Then around ten, I started thinking.

[@peaceharmony4254]

🤣🤣🤣

[@DB-qw6xq]

Stupid!

[@beverlygraham4480]

For me, it was about 13 years old or so, when I developed a deep interest in science. My mom said my problem was that I got educated before I got saved. I'm a recovering Pentacostal.

[@davidstokes925]

A couple of weeks ago I had a visit to the local ER. Sent a Christian lady, volunteer, out of the room crying because she questioned my religious affiliation. Why should I be made to feel guilty? She f*****g asked. Thanks for this monologue!😅

[@elainehewitt6813]

that's awful but now they also ask what sex you identify with.

[@catherinerosner970]

As a former christian, I too have seen the irrational side of faith. I too am an atheist but can tell almost no one I know. I am so much more at peace and enjoy life now but it took years to get here. I was raised with the guilt and unforgiveable sin of denial. Our country's history of the Puritans leaving England is forever engrained in our system.

[@derrickcarson]

You mean a person who called themself a Christian. FIFY.... There is no such thing as a former Christian. Lol. "Our country's history of the Puritans leaving England is forever engrained in our system" Am I missing something? Did the Puritans stop believing in God when they came to America?

[@nightwolf2666]

God doesn't hate you or want you to feel guilty, he wants the complete opposite. You simply received the wrong message from incompetent humans. Once your brain calms down, you will see how Atheism is just a shallow, selfish concept.

[@LebbMangenaShow]

​@@derrickcarson my thoughts exactly I'm a Christian and I'm living life to the fullest with my religion in tact and I'm proud of it

[@rustyoak8860]

@@derrickcarson what do you mean "not such thing as a former Christian"? Almost everyone is a former Christian. You're indoctrinated into Christianity, and then some of us are smart enough to use critical thinking skills to realize, it's just a story made up by men, it's as real as middle Earth, Hogwarts, or King's Landing. Once your eyes are opened, you are now a former Christian. And I say almost everyone because we now have 32% admitting they are not affiliated with a religion, I'd argue that of the 68% that say they are, at least half do not practice said religion and are still suffering from indoctrination.

[@aaronh4748]

Jesus will wait for you to return.

[@thomasricker1260]

About time someone called out mythical religion. It's all false promises

[@myriamickx7969]

I loved the punchline: "Ask Tiffany Trump".

[@badbrad5424]

Proud to be a NONE!!!!!

[@adamc1966]

That is the term I use too 👍

[@DustinMikkelsen]

I only get two days off a week, I'm not spending one of them in someone else's house singing bad songs, and worshipping a ghost. Ain't no one got time for that.

[@py_a_thon]

Some religious based ceremonies are very fun, and the ideas are meaningful in ways. I enjoy hannukah and christmas. Halloween/harvest festival is fun. Ramadan I would imagine is fun af in some ways. Especially if you cheat lol. I would love to go to India for Diwali (a festival of lights), and that other holiday where people throw colored paints over evveryone and everything. Such beautiful traditions. You can always kill god yet still preserve traditions, and derivate spiritual meaning from the task. Or go to the church of sunday sports, on the cathedral of gladiator type sports. Or go to the church of lights and sounds (a music festival). Bread and circus. Everyday is atheist day if you are an atheist lol.

[@S129]

😆

[@adamcoe]

sadly, many millions of people have time for that

[@ferriveiro3101]

Yes please to Atheists day, sometime in summer would suit me fine. 😊🙏

[@The_Real_Mier]

We’re OVER half of the population here in the Netherlands who consider themselves non-religious.(58%). But the thing is, the other 42% is not acting all superior like the religious people in the US. And that’s how you get much more understanding for each other: just act normally and respect other people’s feelings, views, ideas and beliefs. You do not have to agree with everything, but you sure can respect each other. ……But it might be a few centuries too soon for you guys to really understand that……

[@margaretsmist7140]

Amen.

[@The_Real_Mier]

@@margaretsmist7140 You’re welcome. I’ll drink to that too! ;)

[@cpthornman]

America will collapse before that happens sadly. We're a lost cause.

[@4everspace]

"No corpse reanimation" LMAO🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@RustCole01]

LOL, that bit about the nuns hitting left-handed kids with a ruler WAS actually a thing. My mom is a lefty and she used to tell me stories about how her teachers would force her to write with her right hand and would bust out the ruler if they caught her switching back to southpaw. Eventually my grandfather had to just tell the teachers to suck it, but I was surprised how much effort was put into curing the illness of being left-handed. Conversion therapy sure didn't work... But mom has learned how to cope with her handicap and is living her best life.

[@josephhain3746]

Nuns beat everyone as they were sexually frustrated 😂😂

[@ronnielittlerock7208]

I'm an old man now and a lefty, it happened to me in grade school in the 60's.

[@ReiverBlue1971]

@@josephhain3746 I did know a few nice nuns. My primary school head was one and knew that when I said I didn't piss in the corner of the playground she believed me (and just tapped my hand with the ruler). One of my teachers (NOT a nun strangely) used a steel edge ruler for my leftieness. I beat her by making no attempt whatsoever to change :D

[@enstigatorofficial]

this happened to me in public school in the late 60's in america.

[@Lord_Nordan]

And everyone freaked out after "being left-handed" was accepted because the numbers of people who were left handed exploded. They called it a "social contagion".

[@SceneWins]

I’m not religious but I’m a fervent zealot for a holiday Monday 🎉

[@lanceknightmare]

That sounds like a day off. The humanists are with you.

[@jesssss7154]

​@@lanceknightmare But don't we already have that? In the U.S. it's called "Labor day"

[@AshleyVailuu]

“And please G-d, no fruit cakes” 😂

[@afterthesmash]

Says the world according to bad eggnog, which you drink anyway because sugar+alcohol. A good fruitcake is basically a Black Forest cake that invites the whole fruit rainbow, biased toward more rum and less chocolate. So yes, it's not better than Black Forest cake. But what is?

[@nancybfrisbieabdallah2125]

Love you Bill. When asked by my Christian friends, will I go to church with them… my response is… I only go to church for weddings, baptismals and deaths…. And not my own!!!!

[@mjallen1308]

I sometimes go to church with friends or family for special functions just to get a reaffirmation as to why I don’t believe the nonsense coming out of the Bible. Though mainly I go bc theirs good food to be had. I also still like to listen to old school, Southern Baptist/Black gospel music - even though I don’t believe in ANY of it.

[@danwhitehurst6293]

As an atheist every day is my day

[@JeffWells-cw2sw]

Hey, I like that reply "I don't believe in ghosts" and will use it from now on!

[@johnpreston230]

The wife joke is the most true thing ever

[@jacobmorales1283]

Yep

[@eponymousIme]

The wife "joke" is the tiredest comedy trope since the 1930s.

[@aguynamednathan]

​@@eponymousIme And it's 100% accurate

[@cellularbio5712]

Ever consider that disappointing your wife could mean that you could stand some serious self-reflection?

[@angusmcculloch6653]

truest*

[@anarchistatheist1917]

I am a older millennial (born in 1984). I have been an atheist for 21 years (since 2002). It would be nice to have a day dedicated to atheism. But ultimately it would be just another day to relax like a Sunday, but without the church service.

[@leoxd7029]

there is no such thing as "atheist". You may not know what you believe. but something is at the top of your value hierarchy. and If it isn't the highest good.... I'd question what took its place for you.

[@JeffWells-cw2sw]

@@leoxd7029 Here's the actual definition of Atheism for all you unlettered types: 'A' means 'without' and 'theism' mean 'belief in the existence of one or more gods.' That's all - it is NOT the claim that 'there are no gods' because that would require infinite knowledge to prove! Also, we don't "hate god(s)" because we DON'T BELIEVE IN THEM! However, the damage that religion and its wars on reality has caused ever since people started wondering about it is definitely real, and that is what we fight against!

[@JeffWells-cw2sw]

I got you beat, Grandpa, born in 1948 and resigned from our Lutheran mind control project by my second year in college here in San Diego. The only thing I take seriously about religion is the unpredictable behavior of many of its more serious believers, those who want to impose it on everyone else, as when our badly-corrupted Extreme Court actually overturned Roe v. Wade, with more to come from the sound of things

[@jdos5643]

There’s no such thing as atheism. To be atheist one has to have verifiable demonstrable evidence that God does not exist. There’s only agnostics and theist.

[@magibubu]

@@JeffWells-cw2sw Damn man you just gona spit facts like that? I'm actually surprised he didn't come back with a "god works in mysterious ways" kind of bullshit. Ignoring bad stuff is the religious way of thinking, because their church thought them really well that if anything good happens than it's thanks to god but if anything bad happens like war, ohhh that is Lucifers fault ain't it? They built up a system based on belief so mixing common logic and reason with it is just useless, it would be like arguing with a 6 year old about neuro science.

[@srincident]

Bill pushes buttons, especially the truth button.

[@jsu1982]

I like Bill, but if you’re going to push the truth button…. Guess what….. there is a God. Clamming victory that a 1/3 of the population is atheist should scare you. Where the heck have we gone? We are the lost sheep, Jesus said he’d come after. We also must find our way back to him.

[@scorch4299]

If God wanted us to worship Him, He'd come down and let us know. But if he didnt want us to worship Him, He'd stay hidden. So.....even if He does exist, He doesnt want our worship! Won't they be surprised when the Atheists are the ones who make it to heaven for using logic!

[@MovieGuy666]

He's an atheist until someone has a gun to his head and then he begs God to save him.

[@beinteractive3207]

Seems like Bill just wants Atheism to be a religion 😂😂😂

[@NemeanLion-]

@@scorch4299 you guys are as wacky as the Bible thumpers

[@donjaeger2149]

I'm in... I put god in with Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and Leprechauns.

[@rosemaryrojahn584]

Try saying that to His face when you meet Him one day. I guarantee you won't be laughing.

[@gsgentry1]

Great Bill--They can't handle the truth 😇😇 🤦‍♂ 😁

[@BlazingShackles]

I've been an atheist since 1974. I was 11 when I told 3 of my friends. They all said I would be struck by lightening and burn in hell. Im 60 now, they're all dead.

[@mrdg1011]

I'm with you my friend I honestly don't care if I burn in hell 😃

[@meganega123]

Love Bill ranting about religion ❤

[@dickjones8119]

Bill has no wife, kids, family so he has plenty of time.

[@TheMesosuchus]

You love bigotry. Yay

[@Ryan-pr7vq]

I did too, when I was 20. I’m 45 now. Im not religious but he doesn’t seem to have onboarded any sense of nuance. Always blabbing never listening.

[@plaidpanda]

​@@dickjones8119 Plenty of time _and_ money, allowing him to date stunning women and travel the world in private jets. Jealous much? 🤭

[@firemedic2442]

@@Ryan-pr7vq speaking of babbling...you just speak nonesense

[@MikeBeltMikeBelt]

"It's called faith because it's not knowledge." - Christopher Hitchens

[@slevinchannel7589]

kzbin.info?search_query=Forrest+Valkai+Atheism+

[@josepherhardt164]

"Not knowledge," BTW, has another name: "garbage."

[@TheVenominside]

It’s called faith because you would have to be stupid to believe it

[@Seven_1865]

@@josepherhardt164well that’s a little silly. Not every unproven idea or theory is garbage.

[@CCCC-cb2ty]

Kinda sound like you’re describing Transgenders.

[@SageofStars]

2:34 As a necromancer, I feel personally attacked.

[@pauls28]

"it's like adding another Mother-in-Law", 🤣

[@brandonhovet3598]

Yes! Been an unrestricted free agent most of my life and don't regret it. Thanks Bill for giving this subject airtime on realtime.

[@slevinchannel7589]

kzbin.info?search_query=Forrest+Valkai+Atheism+

[@sheilag2231]

So do you work on Christmas and Yom kippur? Or is free agency means you take a break on everyone else’s holy days?

[@brandonhovet3598]

@@sheilag2231 First off, never heard of Yom Kipper?? And yes, I have worked on “religious” holidays in the past, and probably will again in the future. I have a deadline driven job, so if I need to finish something for a client on “zombie Jesus day” I will utilize that time.

[@commonsense955]

@@sheilag2231 What is your point???

[@commonsense955]

@@sheilag2231 Of course we do! Why wouldn't you?

[@QuesoCookies]

I grew up Mormon. It was 3-4 hours of church on Sunday, 1-2 hours of activities for the male youth on Wednesday, 1-2 hours for the female youth on Thursdays, 1-3 hours of community service in the neighborhood on Saturdays, and then at least one evening a month having another member visit and proselytize to you, and 4-ish more evenings where you go to other members houses to proselytize to them, and another 1-2 hours of lesson planning or other busywork to do during the week if you held a position in the church. They called Sundays days of rest, which only meant they didn't spend money or go out or have any fun on Sundays on top of going to church all day. You'd think if they ostensibly set a day aside to rest from the secular world, they would want to set at least one day apart to rest from their religion.

[@DoctorZisIN]

And they get offended when people call it a cult.

[@wendysullivan825]

​@AutoTuna they are all cuts, nit just The Mormons.

[@seppyq3672]

Man I spent way too much time at church as a mormon.

[@banba317]

They have to keep you busy running like a hamster on a wheel to prevent you from having a lucid moment! The scales might fall off your eyes and you could pull back the curtain.

[@seppyq3672]

@quesocookies and also the 2wice year confrences talking to you for 8 hours!

[@williamelam1657]

Watching Bill Maher should be a school requirement for all highschool people.!!!!

[@wholeshebang1]

Start even *earlier,* in _junior high,_ before their parents have fully _indoctrinated_ them, though that might already be too late.

[@ScottishLeo]

Amen! 🤣🤣 Thank you for saying what a good many of us have been silently shouting (less violent than the masses of course) 💚

[@perchancetodream1]

At least one day would be nice, but the odds of that happening here in Alabama are none. 😄

[@sudcciv6443]

Try the "Alabama Freethought Society" (a chapter of the "Freedom From Religion Foundation") for starters! ;)

[@katalinamccormick3841]

I'm an atheist and always have been.

[@usfanlovesminho5085]

You still have time, hopefully you will change your mind. Never say never!

[@tiffanywhite-aka-tiffybmus305]

I’m a Christian, and I despise the commercialization of the Christian holidays. Heck of the holidays really.

[@alessioandreoli2145]

This is one of the best monologues he ever did 😂

[@Leftatalbuquerque]

Calls for Atheist's Day then announces no show on Good Friday.

[@allthewayfrom]

5:32 “You don’t have to be an atheist to celebrate Atheist Day. I’d like it to be the one day a year that the devout can get a little taste of what it’s like to live your life without some mythical daddy figure judging and condemning you for being the exact person He made you.” Spot on.

[@HughJass-jv2lt]

Fake News!

[@HTub-bo2yl]

You have a spirit. God is looking for those looking for Him. He will let you go your own way. If you long for evil you may have it.

[@HughJass-jv2lt]

@@HTub-bo2yl 🤣🤣 Didn't you watch the vid?? there's no higher power.

[@trallfraz]

GOD gave us a FREE gift.........IF we will accept it.

[@henryjfischer]

I'm an atheist. Everyone I care about is an atheist. But intellectually, this is less than Neolithic.

[@vikg4600]

Atheist day is actually everyday. It’s reality

[@lynemac2539]

To some of us it's the day before cheap candy day!

[@gina_st.george]

I love this man!

[@mark1h2023]

As an atheist, i appreciate this. One more day of watching Netflix ❤

[@Boghopper9999]

Funny, I think of listening to Bill as being part of my weekend rituals where I come to hear his sermon 😋

[@vladim73]

Absolutely 😂 You either worship the Creator or the creature! There's no middle ground! I prefer the former 😉

[@DanBrown96]

@@vladim73 Worshiping NOTHING is also an option.

[@RichFromQueensNY]

He speaks the truth. You can dislike what he says at certain times, but it is the truth; it doesn't mean you can't be happy with your faith; just don't spread it like it's bad breath. If you're walking down the street and you smile at someone and then start a conversation and you realize they're not a Catholic or they're not a Muslim or if they're an atheist and then you change your mind and say this person is a ****** or not my type of person then you are in a cult.

[@Earthad23]

Everyone worships something

[@Earthad23]

@@DanBrown96 Your highest value is nothing? I doubt it

[@KB-sv7fm]

I’m an atheist. Instead of talking to a pastor , I talk to a therapist. Unlike a pastor , my therapist pays taxes (like I do).

[@drylooped]

Therapists also don't push the idea that somehow a cosmic being that will incinerate us or flood us for not worshipping him as he feels we should. Also somehow loves us and wants nothing but the best for us.

[@korytoombs886]

You pay taxes? Unlucky Americans.

[@KB-sv7fm]

@@korytoombs886 Republicans use racism to get middle class people to vote for tax cuts geared LARGELY towards the rich.

[@ceciliaFX]

As a proud atheist I celebrate Darwin Day and also Pi Day.

[@maryannlockwood7806]

I’m with you except I prefer this pie. 😊🥧

[@dennisheyes4561]

Atheist day should come between Pi Day and St. Patrick's day.

[@snehashispanda4808]

I identify as someone who does not believe in the existence of god. I hold the view that there is insufficient evidence or rational justification to support the belief in any gods or supernatural entities. I rely on reason, logic, and empirical evidence to form my worldview and do not find compelling evidence or arguments to support the existence of god.

[@balderdash7805]

Few things. 1) I'm an Atheist and I don't want a day, a ribbon, a march, or any of the other look at me celebrations. I'm happy to have the establishment clause of the first amendment for any justification. 2) I set up an Easter egg hunt and never put any eggs out. 3) A friend who knew I was an atheist heard me say "Jesus Christ" in a frustrating moment, and called me a hypocrite. I told him it is a figure of speech in this case. I am also fond of the phrase "Holy Shit" but that does not mean I believe in the divine nature of fecal matter. If I did, that would make me religious. He didn't like that. 4) As Bill Burr once said in a fictional conversation with his son, "We're not going to church. God is everywhere, but I have to go down there to see him. And he's mad at me. And I owe him money. Fuck that."

[@williamelam1657]

Critical thinking at its best 😅

[@arbiehill68]

Holy Ghosting! So well said thank you!

[@yew2oob954]

Atheists day should have programs and tv shows that address how EACH religion is a lie.

[@yew2oob954]

@EYRM9 Quoting nonsense doesn't make it true or moral.

[@Coni2009]

The world is so secular nowadays you could argue that most days are atheist-compatible.

[@isentient666]

This is a great message! However, as a joke, we do get a day……….every week! It’s called Sunday. LOL

[@dkthales]

International Atheist Day, I'm up for it lol

[@terrencereardon6374]

Britney Spears came out as an Atheist in 2022 and people applauded her for it including her fans. Last year she said "When people say Jesus Christ is coming, back, tell them that he ain't".

[@jt4369]

This is one of his best bits. Spot on.

[@btbees1]

George Carlin would have been a great guest on this show!

[@zzzT.]

There's old clips of him on the show

[@patrickortiz2898]

Organized religion has done more to increase atheism than any groups

[@MM-yi9zn]

About time. So many won’t admit they’ve been sceptical for years. Embarrassed to admitting they don’t believe.,Simple.Just not interested & have no belief.

[@ANascente]

Thank you for that, Bill! #makereasonathingagain

[@renew5751]

Cheer up Bill! Every day you can get up and say 'Its a great day to be matter in motion again!'

[@possumface2425]

And great motion it is too. Get back to us when your "soul" connects to your pineal gland.

[@renew5751]

@@possumface2425 No worries, if my 'third eye' starts blurrying i'll get back to you.

[@jacklowe3429]

Preach on, Brother Bill! Preach on!

[@nicholasayres3265]

When very young, before starting school, my mother and I were returning from playgroup at the local church, where there had obviously been some sort of discussion about where the Earth came from. So I asked her. She told me "God made it." After a few steps, I asked the obvious next question "where did God come from." I could have been given many answers, but the one that I got was "God is so clever that he made himself." Even as a four year old, I saw that that was impossible, and so have never believed. It puzzled me why people do, and so would come back to the question of "why do people believe in Gods?" every now and then as a child. In my early teens I went through a period of thinking "what if I'm wrong and the Devil gets me?" I dropped the fear and found the anger - how dare religions deliberately scare children into believing. I didn't have the terminology then, but now I call it by its name - emotional child abuse. I also call the idea that people who don't believe a particular religion deserve to go to hell to be tortured forever by another name - sadistic bigotry.

[@michaelk3341]

Thanks bill. Well done.

[@Albe3331]

I suffered for 5 years after a hernia repair at my VA hospital. Severe abdominal pain, tearing sensation. I went through multiple MRIs, CT scans, ultrasounds for those 5 years. Couldn’t find anything. Than several months after my wife passed I was at the same VA hospital for a colonoscopy. As I lay on the table waiting to be to under I heard my wife’s voice and felt her presence. She said “ honey this is going to hurt, but it’s the only way they will find the problem. At that moment it happened the instrument used for the procedure perforated my colon. The gastroenterologist said that never happened to him before. It was like the instrument had a mind of its own. After the repair the surgeon said that I got a 2 for 1. He fixed the 1 1/8” hole in my colon but found something’s out of place. He said it must have been causing a great deal of pain. That was a year ago and have been pain free since. They aren’t ghost by spirits.

[@grahamaustin7542]

Brilliant Bill!!! PLEASE.... let's make it happen. I've never been able to find money to support a charity but this, I'd find a way to support this fantastic idea.

[@michaelyoungstrom9412]

I'm a born and raised non practicing Catholic and I approve of this message. I've always been Agnostic. Can't we all just take the good out of religion and leave the other crap behind? Is it that hard?

[@mateiaprozianu3289]

Generally faith comes with all the good and bad together Both the community part and the cult of ignorance part

[@masterlee9822]

I have to agree with the faith who follow a ancient Germanic god. Humans are a filthy animal like species compared to the more advanced species. Always wash your exposed skin after being around them. Humans are a breeding ground for all kinds of germs. Humans are unclean in flesh and soul. Distasteful creatures.Humans smell horrible, holding your nose is only slightly effective in blocking out the stench. Work is a unfortunate sufferance when one must be around such creatures and cannot avoid them. The goal is gold and treasure. The holy scrolls teach us about such abominations like humans. Lowly earthly creatures servants of the darkness forever denied the glory of the light marked by darkness on their skin. The unclean ones. The pale ones, are the sons of the frost mother, who where first formed in the light, shaped from gods essence.

[@DSmedberg]

We can. It's called humanism.

[@masterlee9822]

@@DSmedberg The only humans on the earth are covered with hair and live in the trees eating leaves and fruits.

[@lightningbrigade4722]

If I work my job on Athiest Day and I get paid time and a half. I wouldn't complain one bit. 🕊

[@michaelmccoy1794]

A holiday should be double, not 1½

[@lightningbrigade4722]

@@michaelmccoy1794 Your right!

[@wellendowedplatypus9024]

@@lightningbrigade4722 And my left!

[@lightningbrigade4722]

@@wellendowedplatypus9024 LOL

[@dridadbunkerphd6523]

One of Bill's best rants yet!