Reasons why hobby clubs lose members | sewing simplicity 3573

[@nadinehackman2358]

When new to my area I joined a well-established gardening group to make friends. It was sooo cliquey. Each meeting I went to I would sit down next to someone I didn’t know and strike up a conversation, which was hard for me as I am a terrible introvert, but I was trying hard to find someone that I clicked with. After several years I just quit it. Now it seems all of my friends come from a yoga class I go to, and lo and behold, there are 4 people at the yoga studio who quit the gardening club because of its cliques!

[@SewRena]

Omg that’s wild also I love that you stuck it out so long. I am an introvert and I wouldn’t have returned after the first meeting.

[@melialaa]

You could start a new, better gardening club with the dropouts :D

[@nadiasews]

ugh... my MIL is in a gardening group in the town we are moving to and shes even said in not so many words they arent all that friendly but she keeps going....and Im like why??

[@Lisargarza]

@@melialaaThis sounds like the basis of a sit com… 😂

[@Caroline28483]

This is why I am so, so grateful for my library's knitting circle. We meet once a week and I am by far the youngest person in the group. I was really intimidated when I joined because I barely knew anything about knitting, but all of the ladies there were fun and inviting and all of them had different helpful tips and techniques for starting out. Gotta love good groups like this, they are the backbone of the survival of crafts!

[@SewRena]

I wish I had the extra time to learn how to knit b/c I would love to make vintage sweaters of my own

[@sharonrimsza7960]

Fabulous! You are very lucky.

[@linderlindest5373]

I've found that yarn store based circles have much more of the mean girl vibe. My group is also at the public library and has a good mix.

[@OnePoetWanderer]

@@linderlindest5373 oh dear, I was planning on trying to start going to our yarn store's circle because I want to meet new people. Now I am even MORE nervous.

[@linderlindest5373]

@@OnePoetWanderer You can still try! What I have observed is that the price points of the store seem to give people a kind of status - the more they spend the more of an "insider" they are which makes others "outsiders". Also, because the store is not a public space in the way the library is, people can be territorial, like they claim it as a clubhouse. If you watch out for this kind of behavior (and make sure there are enough physical chairs) it could work.

[@teddy-3765]

The other side of the coin is not to be put off by appearances. I collect (among other types) Ball Jointed Dolls, They're highly customisable so the creative possibilities for how any given doll is styled are many and varied. Before going to my first local BJD meet I had been warned by a few of the more seasoned collectors I knew that the local group was very cliquey and unwelcoming of newcomers, but I went anyway. It was a public venue (a tourist attraction, infact) so there would be more than just the doll group around. My heart sank, initially, as I approached the group. I was old enough to be the father of nearly everybody there, and they were almost exclusively Goth and Emo types (with their dolls styled in a similar way), so my age, my vibrant clothing, and my Victorian-child styled dolls were going to stand out like a sore thumb among these black-clad youngsters. Plus those warnings about the cliqueyness of the group were in the back of my mind. I needn't have been worried. They were the most friendly, welcoming, and inclusive group I'd ever encountered. It's nearly two decades since that first meet. The group got fed-up of the restrictive definition of what counts as a Ball Jointed Doll in the online community they were intially part of and went independent so they could openly discuss other variations of dolls. They moved to Facebook to do that but still took the trouble to keep me informed of when and where meets were taking place as they knew I wouldn't see the FB announcements (I've never been on Facebook). There have been many vartied newcomers over the years, so the group membership is forever varying, but it remains welcoming and accepting of all comers. The core of the group largely retained that goth/emo appearance, and me and my dolls still stand out like a sore thumb at meets, but nobody cares. ... and those warnings I got about the group being cliquey turned out to be about a different local group that had briefly existed but then died out.... I can't imagine why...

[@hilariebz]

I do hope the “cliquey and unwelcoming” group wasn’t our Dollmaking one. I belonged to a group which fits your criteria and has since collapsed. It did last 60 years, however. Quite simply time and fashions moved on and not being a traditionally quilting nation we didn’t have the cross pollination from quilting shops. It wasn’t helped by moving from central London to an area inaccessible by tube. The membership got older and fewer people actually made dolls so it just fizzled out.

[@teddy-3765]

@@hilariebz No, Hilarie, it wasn't the dollmakers. It was a BJD group. No idea who the members were but, from what little I heard, they were closer to the Croydon side of London. Can't rememebr who in the old DR forum confused them with the London group and warned me about them.

[@teleriferchnyfain]

So know exactly what online group we’ve all gotten over LOL 😂 I also collect BJDs & have been in a couple meet-up groups.

[@FugoriHassei]

I'm so glad you mentioned diversity in a group being important! I've found that one of the signs that ANY group is healthy, no matter the topic, is if there is a sustained diversity of ages there AND there is no age hierarchy. It's a good sign that everyone in the group is respectful of each other, flexible about what they do, and humble enough to be willing to get help just as much as they receive it. No one is perfect! Everyone has to start somewhere, even a seventy year old will need help when they start! It seems like groups where everyone gets help just as much as they receive it are healthier long-term.

[@the1_grammy503]

*….where everyone (GIVES) helps and much as they receive it . I understood what you were trying to say but someone else might not.😉 AND you are 100% correct with everything you said.

[@GaiaCarney]

I left a quilting group when they iced out the _ONLY_ Hispanic lady that ever came 😟 She was a beginner and just needed some guidance and extra time explaining things and the way these women didn’t take the time . . . It broke my heart 💔 She is my neighbor now and it’s lovely to chat with her!

[@Cynthlowe]

I founded, lead, and teach a small, weekly knitting and crocheting group called "Here's the Stitchuation!" More than one hundred people have attended over the past two years since we started; approximately 6-15 members are present at any given meeting. Attendees range in age from six years old to 85 years old and work at ALL skill levels. We have a great time, and the one thing we are consistent about is applauding any- and everyone who masters a new skill or finishes a new project. Giving and getting applause builds great camaraderie and keeps things fresh and FUN!😊

[@goodmeasure777]

Wow that shirtdress is lovely. I think your assessment of hobby groups is a lot like life. Who needs misery and wants to deal with cliques, in their spare time? Not me. I don't do hobby groups though but if I did, it would be to simply learn new skills and then I'd be out.

[@SewRena]

Not you using the group then leaving 🤣🤣. They can be so fun! It just takes work to figure out where you fit.

[@justinacarothers2699]

I tried to join a sewing group near my home. I went a few times to feel it out. Some of the ladies were kind, But I felt like they were trying to sell me something. Some members were very smug, judgey of those (me) without a pricey high end sewing machine & tools. Some looked down on younger & new to learning different aspects of sewing. I felt bad. Because if they would have been more open minded & hearted, They would see they had the power or ability to foster a whole new generations love for the craft. Seems odd to complain who your craft is a dieing Art. Then refuse to share your knowledge with others to help keep it alive. Honestly the best groups I found was at one of the local libraries. They only meet once a week. But many of the guests also meet at a church's rec. center one day & at a senior center another day. I loved the mix of people & different directions of interests. My 14 yr old found someone in the group to teach her to crochet. I learned a few in's & outs of Eng. paper piecing & a new way of sewing a zipper in garments.

[@SewRena]

This! I hate hearing ppl complain about how nobody wants to learn/join or continue the craft. People do, but with so limited free time nobody wants to be in uncomfortable situations on their down time.

[@lenaa5869]

At the beginning of the year I started going to a knitting group… I‘m in my early 20s and by far the youngest (many of the ladies are 60-80) they always go out of their way to include everyone into talking and giving everyone equal attention and I immediately felt very welcome with them. We do joke about age differences and the different lifestyles but its all very wholesome bc everyone respects each other and tries to learm from one another no matter the age or experience level. This is the first time in a while that I have consistently returned to a weekly group and it gives my intriverted self a lot of hope for another regular activity next year 😊 and even though I enjoy hanging out with all the awesome ladies I learm so much from, I really hope to find something with more ppl my age

[@Jhddtukbdd87542]

You’re spot on. I’ve debated joining reading clubs, craft groups, etc. but every time I back out. I’ve never found a group with members who attend irregularly and don’t get ostracized for it. It’s so frustrating, bc life is unpredictable and sometimes I’m just burnt out or need to care for my family first. If I prioritize my health and family over an extracurricular, I’m considered flaky. I’ll wait until I find a group that isn’t judgmental of me attending when I can and taking care of my family when needed. I understand that building rapport is important, however it’s not ok to penalize folks for having other responsibilities. It’s a hobby, not a job.

[@SewRena]

I know what you mean. This is where the older members thrive for keeping things together they understand life happens, and they show up regularly

[@robinsiciliano8923]

Yes! I hadn’t fully processed why I felt compelled to stop attending my neighborhood gardening club. You illuminated exactly the issues. Thank you! I was kind of beating myself up about not forcing myself to be in an environment that felt bad, stale, rigid, unproductive. They desperately want new members but only to be delegated by the original members.

[@tracybingham7739]

That sounds like my old church sadly.

[@katsybo]

I love the old machines. I have a 1960’s metal singer my mother purchased. I love your talk, well said. People need to learn to communicate and treat each other with respect.

[@maggiep3263]

I'm not in a sewing club, but a totally different media. Anyhow, we have members who talk. Talk over other members. Talk over our club president. When anyone suggests something, the talkers are quick to knock that person down. But if you knock down (verbally) a talker, talker gets upset and storms out of the meeting. When we show our work, talkers roll their eyes, or say "that's nice" with the barest of bare glances. The best meetings are when the talkers aren't there which is 50% of the time. I stay a member because I want to learn about more our hobby, which improves the quality of my work. And because I can do "selective hearing" pretty well.

[@beatriceotter8718]

Two things: the dress is so fun, I love it, and also, those are *exactly* the same red flags and green flags as you see in churches. I can't tell you how many churches I know of that think they're friendly ... because all their friends go there, and they are really cliquey so new people never stick.

[@stevezytveld6585]

Funnily enough, I was just having this conversation about the church we attended. Clarification - a church we Used to attend. They forgot about the whole "welcoming to the stranger" thing. Who has the time for it... - Cathy (&, accidently, Steve), Ottawa/Bytown/Pimisi

[@claremiller9979]

Our embroidery guild in my town is wonderful, even though some of the flags might seem a bit beige (i wouldn't call them red) - the guild as a whole is large but some meeting times can be small, I like that because it's easier to talk and get to know each other. The group demographic is very very old, I'm 40 and I'm one of the youngest members BUT they are all so welcoming and sweet, and they would love to have younger people join - it's tough when people are busy even if they are interested. We do exhibitions several times a year which bring in more members but it's still tough. The group also talks about and tries new ways to be welcoming - there was an issue at the biggest monthly meeting of people saving seats and not letting new members sit with them, which the committee basically called out and said was not ok. Everyone should feel welcome, and I was happy they determined that behaviour to be unacceptable.

[@helloworld5182]

Love the fabric and the dress. It is definitely a happy look!

[@godgang5724]

When i lived in North Carolina i was the young member of the orchid society. It was wonderful i felt welcomed and enjoyed our meetings. I learned a lot. I move to las Vegas and the orchid society meets in the middle of the week in the morning while I have work. Its very upsetting

[@SewRena]

Oh no!

[@themamma341]

Wow, you knocked that dress out of the park!!🎉🎉

[@debcarroll8192]

That is one snazzy looking sewing machine! I drive a Mini Cooper, too. (If there is such a thing as a soul mate car, it is mine.) I'm fortunate to belong to a couple of wonderful groups-- one is the Jane Austen Society of North America, and the other is a local fountain pen club. Both are very welcoming and encouraging to new people, and there is always something fresh to learn about and enjoy together.

[@donnashapleigh4863]

Love your shirtwaist dress! ( Dots 4 the win!) I'm a member of a garden club & we lost a member who later said she didn't feel welcome, now, we try very hard to be open to new people & welcome them in. Yes there is some "clicks" but I at least try to sit with different people & we love the new energy & ideas the new people bring! I'm sorry you had to deal with "mean girls" that $#*t is unacceptable! We are grownups! I hope you have a good group now! Our women friends are very important. Love when you get together with Stephanie & Haley!

[@SewRena]

Thanks so much! I think the clicks can happen organically with long standing members, but as long as you notice and try to pull new members into the group it will all work out! Now being mean and expecting your organization to grow is silly.

[@VeganDoris]

There’s a crafting group that usually gets together once a month and I’ve been to 2 of their events. The leader has always been very friendly and welcoming and it’s a great group overall. Everyone is friendly! I just wish I wasn’t already so busy and that I could go more often.

[@TinaMatheny-o9m]

I love what you said. Even churches can be like that. I love this dress. I have a hernia right below my bust ( from surgery) and I think this pattern could hide it but I’m short and wide. So I will continue to look for one. I absolutely love the colors.

[@2_pencil]

That dress is terrific! I always like your fabric choices. Also, I appreciated your thoughts on crafting clubs. It’s said when there is a core group that is basically unwelcoming.

[@SewRena]

Thank you 💕💕

[@adrianbettevy8582]

I’m part of a sewing group that I have been with for nine years. We enjoy each other’s company. There are times we just sit and talk/visit instead of sewing. We are blessed with the friendship.

[@yvettejones5323]

Crabby Patty Secret Formula 🤣 Ugh, that name is so applicable. And this dress came out so, so cute!

[@SewRena]

Thanks so much! They really do act like that. If you don’t want to share anything get out of the group 🤣

[@cherylhuot4436]

That dress is absolutely darling!! Well done! You nailed it about the hobby groups!! I tried different groups with different hobbies, when I was younger. I had different motivation at different times. Sometimes it was to learn and share new skills. Finding people to share the interest in my hobby, that my current group of friends didn’t have. Trying to make connections in a new community that I had moved to. I found something you mentioned in almost every group. Some were worse than others. One of the things that really bothered me was when people guarded information about the hobby like it was their personal property, and refused to help people that were there to learn. I found it happened in gardening groups most often. Finding pleasure in keeping information from someone that was eager to learn is weird and just plain mean. And THE GOSSIP!! That was usually the thing that made me quit. This was decades before memes and social media. But "Mean Girls" have always been around. Back to the cave man days, I’m guessing. Interesting subject! Thanks

[@deekang6244]

Gossip is the worst! However, about learning… I belong to a knitting group. I like to come and knit and chat. In no way am I there to teach. I have a five minute rule: if I can help you in five minutes, then fine. That’s helping. Anything longer is teaching. I teach classes, you’re welcome to sign up for one. There are youtube videos out there. Watch one. Teaching is exhausting. It’s not a social activity. It’s teaching. Joining a club is not the same as trying to learn. They should be done in different times and places. So that may be part of your frustration. You want to learn? Take a class, I’ve never been a student in a class where a teacher didn’t give 110%. If you want to socialize with kindred spirits, join a club.

[@nadiasews]

gatekeeping is so toxic, why is it fun for others to purposely leave others out...ewww

[@suem6004]

I agree about hobby groups. Some groups only 1 or 2 people do all the work which leads to burn out so volunteer even if you are new. You are right that some groups have cliques which defeats the purpose of having a group. Also, the younger generation really do not like to show up in person but lean towards online so that is not helpful. That may be why the older demographic is majority in groups. How to involve the younger generation? Again, you gave very valid observations about hobby groups.

[@SewRena]

I think alot of young ppl want to be apart of in person groups I think the issue is not alot of us know they still exist. The first group I was ever involved in was because I got an invite. An in person invite. After that I started searching on my own for other in person interest groups. Also if the online group is large but it doesn’t translate to in person attendance it could be because the online group is mean 🤣. You know a lot of ppl say rude things behind a screen. If the online group is awful I’m not meeting with you in person.

[@AW-zp7od]

You wanna know what killed the sewing group I joined? There was one man in it. Several of the women spent the whole time fawning over his mediocre stuff. I’m talking obsessively, 75% of the meeting time was talking about him. Some of us got annoyed and left lol

[@SewRena]

No way!!! That seems so funny to me like that would be my entertainment 🤣🤣 I would show up to giggle from time to time

[@karlareadstheclassics217]

Ugh!

[@melialaa]

Honestly I was expecting that a guy in a sewing group would have a difficult time fitting in. I wonder if some people wanted to make him feel welcome and overcorrected, or if they just wanted to flirt 😅 anyway that sucks, I would have left too.

[@66kandFrends]

If this helps we had a 70 year old+ man try to join our swim aerobics class for attention. He shows up with this whole smarmy 'don't worry laydeeez I'll be at the back enjoying the view' routine. What he didn't know was that it was the unofficial class for every lesbian over 60 in the area. I'd say he didn't last the session but actually he didn't last beyond that first sentence.

[@Shetooktothewoods]

@@66kandFrendsI love that in the pettiest way! My first thought re the sewing group issue was that it’s such a shame that so many women are just fixated on the male gaze that they have to spend their time fawning like that. Swim troll must have been so put out that those women weren’t there. 😅

[@msb358]

My husband and I just quit a Harley bike club because of the reasons you mentioned. The old guys who have been in the club are very cliquish and control hungry. They cried we needed new people, but didn't want new ideas. It was always their way. After three years of seeing new people come and go, we decided to leave also. It just wasn't fun.

[@SewRena]

Yep then they complain ppl aren’t interested anymore when really it’s not the hobby it’s THEM

[@marief9858]

I would love to join a sewing group, but in my area it's all quilting retired ladies who buy the latest quilt cottons with 10k sewing machines. I'm a vintage, machine lover and fixer, and a make do and mend type, I thrift a lot of fabric or sew from a stash I've been gifted from a retired sewist. So...I just never fit in.

[@SewRena]

I know what you mean I feel like all the sewing clubs near me are very similar. However I’ve never tried to join a sewing club b/c I just don’t have time. I know i wouldn’t fit in, but I wonder if they would accept me anyway. Virtually they accept me so why not in person. Plus I don’t even want a 10k machine I love my vintage machines so there is nothing to compare really 🤭

[@KeiPalace]

maybe the group you would fit in more is living history or cosplay, the young community that makes costumes is super welcoming and desperate for knowledge, and less judging because everyone is making things so wildly different, maybe a more 'artistic bent' is more for you.

[@rinaeperron7746]

An entry point for talking about vintage machines is the quilters beloved Featherweight! Bring in a 301 to sew on... and extol the virtues of it! I find others that are interested... and I just share my joy! (I am careful to not dismiss their expensive machines... although I would NEVER spend what some of them do on a new machine!)

[@rinaeperron7746]

​@KeiPalace great idea!

[@nicoled2831]

I LOVE the dress! I bet it wouldn’t be hard to draft that cool tie piece, gonna have to put that on my list! Great reminders about groups. As an introvert, I find it hard to put myself out there, and folks who think it’s cool to be judgmental or rude on the internet really kill the vibe! I know almost nobody who sews IRL, so a reminder that your kind words and support on the internet or otherwise may mean the world to someone who mostly does their hobby alone! ❤

[@SewRena]

Not at all it’s like a rectangle with one end on a diagonal.

[@deekang6244]

Look around. You never know where you will find someone who does what you do! They are out there! It’s so fun to find people who like the same things that you like.

[@SewingBoxDesigns]

That dress! 😍 I think the biggest Red flag is when a club gets taken over by the HOA mindset. Rather than volunteers, some queen bee or sun king starts collecting donations for their 'work', and then charges fees, which then go up up up. Surely paper plates for snacks for 20 people can not cost over 100$.

[@SewRena]

😳😳 no way! I understand dues because organizing takes time and money but they should be reasonable.

[@Odontecete]

@@SewRena Way. Long time group that got started by some ladies that just wanted to teach the next generation got taken over by this HOA mindset. In 1 election, the group that survived the founders and many other originals split apart some 30 years later...all because of a Queen Bee that "had" to take control.

[@elizabethgardner6832]

I don't mind giving a small donation $5 to the organizer of the group who is volunteering her time and buying snacks and drinks.

[@Ranchorita]

Your Model 54 sews so beautifully. It looks really smooth. What a nice backup machine to have on hand, and its really pretty!

[@manhurter]

I haven't tried any hobby clubs in my country as an adult. If they exist I'm thinking that its very local and only known by word of mouth. My interests are varied and not popular in my country and worse amongst my age group. But I've experience the bad cliques from clubs in high school and university. They wanted members but only ones who were already experienced and didn't need to be taught anything. They hoarded information and were two-faced. If you weren't rich enough to have a personal tennis instructor on the weekend teaching you from your tween years you weren't welcomed. For photography club if you didn't have an expensive professional camera don't come. 4-H if you didn't already know how to do whatever craft don't come as you'll learn nothing. I didn't experience this problem in primary school but that was a really good school with good management and teachers at the core. I agree with the points you raised entirely and with the comments I've read too. Nobody wants to spend their free time and money being uncomfortable or bullied. Love the dress very festive.

[@sharonrimsza7960]

I stopped joining guilds because of the clicks. Love this video. Your dress is very pretty and made me smile. Your information is right on. Mean girls are no fun.

[@SewRena]

I’m stubborn I want the full experience that comes with hobbies including the social life 🤣 I was spoiled on social media now I want local friends.

[@SewSewDrew]

The buttons!!

[@quazylade90]

That dress is absolutely adorable. Completely agree about the group. I have just joined a group this past year and completely encouraged.

[@AngelaMerici12]

I think that clubs need a growth mindset. Set goals and celebrate milestones. It can be whatever, like reading X book by the end of summer, learning or teaching X skill, classes for the community and such so the club is always "moving" and doing something. I think that would be the idea.

[@SewRena]

Ohhh I like that! I didn’t even consider that.

[@rae·tetza1999]

This fabric is gorgeous! I really enjoy holiday fabrics that aren't "overly Christmas" so i can get more wear out of them than just December. (Not that I don't also have very niche holiday dresses & whatnot… 😉) Also, I love this style of dress! I have a color block dress that's burgundy & black cotton jersey that's basically this pattern. I swapped the buttons for an invisible zipper though. It's my version of vintage lounge wear. Lol ❤💚

[@pw529]

I LOVE SHIRTDRESSES, this one is FABULOUS as is everything Sew Rena does so Perfect much better than what is in the stores Happy Holidays everybody

[@SewRena]

Thank you so much! This is one of my favorites I want to make another

[@pearlinejones9693]

I’m loving the vintage hat that you are wearing! So festive!

[@ElveeKaye]

That dress is beautiful! It's Christmas-y, but you could wear it any time. I love shirt dresses, too, they're classy in any era.

[@saraquill]

I still remember one high school club I tried to join sophomore year. The two leaders were so keen on gatekeeping, they wouldn’t accept new members. I couldn’t join until the following year, after they graduated. The club was near collapse due to a shortage of experienced members.

[@MelAsHell]

As my most favorite shirt reads, "Support Your Local Girl Gang!" 🤘🏻 Be a fountain, not a drain! 🤘🏻

[@SewingBoxDesigns]

Re the car group. We had a 77 Thunderbird I just loved. So easy to work on because it was the biggest Bird ever made. We moved and joined a new church. Three Sundays later while hubby was off talking to the menfolk, I was very sternly 'counciled' in the parking lot by the church mean girls that our "in process of being refurbished" Bird was embarrassing to the Lord and we should buy a new car. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ Learning to and sewing the new vinyl seat covers for that car was one of my biggest challenges. 😂 Never. Again.

[@SewRena]

The way my mouth fell on the floor!!! I was not prepared to read the car was embarrassing to the lord 😳. Omg I hope you still have it.

[@SewingBoxDesigns]

Alas, the Windsor engine block cracked one 110 degree summer, 2005, and our mechanic said "No". I still miss it.

[@hannahstraining7476]

What??!! Why is it that so many Christians have no idea what it means to be a Christian?

[@smalltowngirl78]

I loved the tips you gave, and I LOVE this dress you made! So festive and beautiful.

[@SewRena]

Thank you so much 💕💕💕

[@silvergenx]

Brain stopped working hours ago but supportive comment.

[@sherylstone8804]

Oh I just love this dress with the vintage buttons. I'd like to try and find a pattern to make something similar. As for the topic, I'm too old and cranky to be in a club or group anymore. This is best for everyone. 😅 I did enjoy a few groups in the past though.

[@mariposaflame4194]

I love your shirtwaist ❤️ the color snd pattern arr so festive! Its been a while since I was a part of a hobby group but the older ladies taught me to knit. There weren't many people, but I thought it was because we lived in a high transition area (military town). Even I moved away when I changed jobs. I will keep what you said in mind if I do join another hobby group. 🤗

[@WhisperingHealth]

Just came across this channel and I am very happy. Thank you for all your hard work and thank you so much for sharing. Such positive and stunning content.

[@stephanieyee9784]

Serena, I absolutely love your dress. It looks amazing on you.

[@auntiecaffeinecrafts]

Can I just say your style is A-MAZING? You and your family look so incredible in the clothes you make for them. I wish the whole world still had style like you do! Also, the main reason I've left clubs has been guys hitting on me or one of the other members. I go to hobby clubs for the community and friends, NOT to find a romantic relationship. I wish guys understood that.

[@gammayin3245]

Well done! You look stunning in your new red dress. Definitely you look stunningly gorgeous!

[@SewRena]

Thank you so much

[@thanaf1045]

I love your videos and your chats. It’s a small suggestion if you use a wrist pin cushion it will keep you from tossing your pins to the side. I made myself one a it’s wonderful

[@SewRena]

I don’t like them. I’ve tried for years they aren’t comfortable.

[@SewingBoxDesigns]

No judgement here, I tried one and kept jabbing my wrist! Magnetic tray from the automotive store is my go to. Just toss the pin in the direction. 😂

[@justinacarothers2699]

​@@SewingBoxDesignsI also came to say the magnetic dish from harbor freight or an automotive shop work well. Helps pick them up off the floor as well. Wrist pin cushion wasn't comfortable for me.

[@SewingBoxDesigns]

@justinacarothers2699 Exactly! 😄 I had to buy hubby a replacement after I stole his, though. The big five inch across one is my second best sewing buddy next to Mini the Mannequin.

[@sewingintrifocals-alisonde7778]

@@SewingBoxDesigns, I use a magnetic bowl from Home Depot. These items are great!

[@rapunzelrose68]

I use a magnetic holder for my pins and when I remove them it makes it super easy to put the pins away while sewing

[@SewRena]

I have one I just don’t sit still when I sew. So my pin holder travels

[@juliashaw8268]

You have a beautiful voice. And sew beautifully.

[@ShonjiPowerOf2]

Absolutely one of my favorite shirtwaist dresses ive seen

[@hannahstraining7476]

I'm generally not a big fan of shirtwaist dresses, but this one is my fav so far. I love the big tie in the front and the vintage buttons you put on it. I also like the way that the fabric suggests Christmas ornaments without actually being ornaments. And, of course, the pouffy petticoat makes the dress so fun to wear. About hobby clubs...welllllll...I'm not a big fan of those, either. Granted, I'm an introvert, so I'm generally not a group person, but on the few occasions I have tried groups, I have encountered many of the same things you have, except for such blatant mean girls. That behavior is simply unacceptable! One other red flag for me is if I share some way I have of doing something that is different than the way the club members do it, the new way is either shot down or simply ignored with a frown. I am always gleeful to learn a new way of doing something or a fresh application of a skill. For me, that's the only reason to join a hobby club, to learn new things. So if the club members are not open to new things, I'm out of there.

[@SewRena]

More than one way to do things and sometimes the group does not appreciate it. I love learning new ways to do things so I can pick the way that works best for me.

[@stevezytveld6585]

You, my Dear, are a very wise woman (typed as a Gen X). You just described my journey through my thirties perfectly, lol. Only problem... I ran into only the Mean Girl Groups. So, so many failed groups and attempts at joining boards of directors for community groups. I think that's why me and Mister Husband went back to the drawing board and started a monthly poetry/prose/short-story/fiction/reportage/music series called The Dusty Owl Reading Series that featured local and travelling artists. Ran it for a bunch of years. I miss the Community Building and fundraisers. Do not miss the work (at this moment at any rate, lol). I am, however, still considering starting a YT vintage/historic sewing channel of my own. Still in the planning stages and still looking around for people who are putting themselves out there in a way that is both healthy and self protective. Thank you for being one of those people. Cheers. Sorry for the temporary loss to your sewing 'grandmother' machine. Your 'new' gal-pal looks lovely. And the dress is perfect. Well done. - Cathy (&, accidently, Steve), Ottawa/Bytown/Pimisi

[@SewRena]

Thanks so much 🥰. Start the channel turn on the camera and hit record.

[@stevezytveld6585]

@@SewRena LOL - Yes, Mam! {We're in the middle of downsizing everything to fit into our overstuffed one bedroom apartment. Thankfully the local sewing shop does a monthly 25$ sewing night to use their tables, machines and irons. If they didn't exist I would have to be cutting cloth on the floor of our laundry room. Getting there... one wee babystep at a time.} _By-the-by_ - America (and Canada, eh?) have _all_ these quilting & sewing shows, correct? Start planning out how to host your own 'sewing from vintage patterns' workshop? Start small and local to build up your structure for what works, and get ready to scale up... Just to put 'a bug in your ear', as Granny used to say... did I mention I used to do the Arts Community PR for The Owl... I know how to work with media in a fax and newspaper and radio environment.... laughing... Let's just say there's a whole bunch of tech to wrap me head around. Besides, gives me time to build a me-made wardrobe for filming... nuts to filming in a tee and leggings...

[@MsKim510]

The monthly reading series sounds fabulous!

[@stevezytveld6585]

@@MsKim510 Thank you! So proud of the fundraising we did over the years. Literary readings are So much fun. And we did silly things like "Object of Desire" - wherein we would find something that cost 10$ or under and ask people to come up with a poem; to be read out after the break and the feature were done. Whoever won, with the help of the Scientifically Accurate Applause-O-Meter (TM), takes home the prize... Shenanigans are such fun...

[@StephanieCanada]

First off that dress!!!! Perfection! Secondly, I am one of those folks that is kinda scared to join groups for the reasons you just listed.

[@SewRena]

Thank you! I think b/c I know there are good groups it’s worth searching to me 🤭

[@natashah4420]

That dress is gorgeous! You’re an amazing seamstress. I wish I was that good. I’m afraid to start and mess up. It’s that darn perfectionist in me.

[@KariIzumi1]

4:11 awww the MINI meetup 🥹 i used to do these in San Diego....havent found one in my new town but its always great to see people enjoy this little car 🥰

[@llamabean529]

My red flag for hobbies groups is when the supposed group leader isn't actually there, I don't mean on occasion, I mean rarely, like a unicorn. If you aren't running your group is it really yours anymore?

[@SewRena]

It’s not theirs anymore. I haven’t been in a group with a clear leader

[@sabrina.h2737]

I've been in clubs that were uncomfortable because of the mean girls group. I never stayed long as life's to short to waste on such people. I'm glad to say I'm a member of three clubs now and everyone is wonderful, friendly and helpful to each other. One of the clubs has over 50 members. It is awesome having that many wonderful people in one place. It does the soul good.

[@Pixellexip0]

I once joined an embroidery club,first on facebook and then we had physical meetups. I had packed a 2 hoops to show and 1 of my current projects.(I was doing alot of video game themed pieces at that time.) There was only 1 other person there in my age group(mid 20s) and the rest were elderly women. Everyone did hand embroidery, so i thought I'd fit in. As soon as I walked in, they looked at me funny and gave me weird looks and then asked if I walked into the wrong room. I politely told them i was here for the facebook meetup, and they went back to talking amongst themselves. When i showed my projects,one of the women said, "we dont do those here. That doesn't interest us." The younger girl stated its embroidery, so it counts. We're now friends and were even in the middle of forming our own hand embroidery group. So many groups are fading because gatekeeper elderly people are too rude when younger people get involved in the hobby. That makes younger people give up entirely when there is no support or group to go to, resulting the death of the craft altogether. If nothing is passed down, it ends up in the ground.

[@kilodeltawhisky1504]

The last group I was in, was church, ladies Bible study. My marriage changed everything, somehow, and now we don't go to that church, and the ladies don't know I exist anymore. I've been in several groups/clubs of women... There are always cliques. Always drama. Always power struggles. I don't even bother anymore. My best friend is my beautiful husband! The rest of my friends are on KZbin!! 😁😆

[@elizabethgardner6832]

Yes! I tried two groups at the same yarn store. One was very welcoming and the other was not. In the welcoming group, many people said hello, talked to me, and urged me to come back. It was a good first experience and I left feeling really good. This group had been meeting at another place for years maybe even decades. Many of the people were older but there was a range of people including a woman with her baby and a blind woman with her guide dog under the table. In the other group, no one said a word to me when I arrived and no one but one woman told me her name even when I asked. I managed to get into some conversations but it was very difficult. The woman sitting next to me literally had her back turned to me the entire time, then she left. I have no idea who was running the group. There didn't seem to be a hostess. It was very off-putting. I did meet the one friendly woman (who told me her name at the unfriendly group) again at the other group and she encouraged me to come back. I haven't yet for various reasons, but might give it a try again since she was so nice. However, I feel on my guard. Fortunately, there are other groups at a nearby sewing store that I enjoy far more (scrap night/maker's night) and I've gone regularly to those when I have a chance. The other red flag has been a woman in one of my sewing classes who frequently talks about politics. I don't always agree with her but feel like I can state my own opinion because she's been going to that same class for 30 years. I tried using ear plugs, but I could still hear her so I took them out. She's even tried to influence my vote on various issues but I wish she would just be quiet.

[@SewRena]

Omg thank you so much for sharing with me 💕

[@mellowmissmuffett]

It’s such a joy, every time I catch a video u made. Thanks, for all u do! Ur an inspiration!

[@betsyp6421]

What a cute dress, perfect fabric choice.

[@connie6545]

SO very true, and well stated! Love the dress, and the green buttons are the perfect touch. 🎄❄😊

[@SewRena]

Thank you I was a little nervous about the buttons blending in too much but I really loved them and they just work

[@catherinejustcatherine1778]

The shirtwaist turned out super cute! The sewing group I joined was lovely. All of the green flags, and then some. But, I moved away. I miss them.

[@SewRena]

That’s always the worst moving when you find the best ppl

[@catherinejustcatherine1778]

@SewRena agreed! I haven't tried much to look around locally. Mostly, I watch KZbin & pretend you folks are my sewing group.

[@christineeagan650]

This dress is beautiful and you look beautiful in it.

[@SewRena]

Thank you so much 🥰

[@Sjp374]

This shirtwaist design is so cute and “extra.’ So perfect! I think with any group that convenes for any reason, it can really fall apart with a Negative Nellie. I don’t mean pure mean girls, but that person who is never satisfied and criticizes quietly to each member until she or he just brings down the morale, makes people question if they really like the group, etc. It doesn’t take much to turn positive energy into negative disillusionment. Often the person doesn’t even realize they are undermining the group; they think they are being helpful, offering a listening ear or feedback, but it lacks positivity and confidence in the group. (You can go too far with positivity, of course, but usually, it’s the little venting sessions and negativity that chips away at membership and energy).

[@SewRena]

Ohhh good point! I didn’t even think of that.

[@TheWorldOfLC]

Love the Christmas dress! It is so pretty. You have a vision and make it look so good- like I would have gone in a completely different direction picking fabrics to make something like this, but you go your own way and it turns out so amazing- it’s inspirational! Loved the input on the groups too- and I can definitely see where you’re coming from. Sometimes it’s hard to get away from a rut. Especially if there is someone or a group making it harder. ❤

[@ric889]

That sewing machine is beautiful ❤️

[@Freepeter-ui2vf]

What I've found in some clubs is just as you said--too clique-y! I felt like I was intruding and out of place.

[@jennydame]

Shirtwaist queen! 🤩✨✨ Sew Cute! The meanest groups I’ve experienced was at a makeup artist school. Took every opportunity to talk crap about clients/ each other. Totally ruined the experience for me. But lessons were learned gave me confidence to not let myself be taken advance of. People pretending to be friends but really they just wanted something from you 😑

[@LovingHandsDesign]

😮 what a beautiful dress. Red is my favorite color too. You’re right about the hobby clubs.

[@deborahfraser9325]

Beautiful dress. It looks fabulous on you. As for clubs and hobby groups, I just don't bother because I haven't found a group, outside of my Bible Study class, that isn't weird and cliquey. However, I am resourceful, so I develop resources and contacts of people who know their stuff and will contact them for questions. I also use Google and. KZbin for research.

[@kwebst1]

Gorgeous dress!!

[@nonamejellyfish2571]

I love the dress! I almost bought that polka-dot pattern a few weeks ago to go with this Christmas apron I'm making. I went with stripes instead 😊

[@SewRena]

I wanted to get the fabric last year but it sold out so fast

[@Mrs.Green712]

I enjoy your content and your style is lovely. Thanks for inspiring all cultures and age group to live their authentic and happy lifestyle. I've not been a big fan of hobby groups. But I do enjoy everything vintage which is why I watch. Keep going!

[@PeggyEscobar-v8j]

I love the tie in the front

[@vallesser]

I love your channel and the topics that you choose. Always interesting and it’s become a source of reassurance as I’ve begun learning to sew and care for a vintage singer machine 🖤

[@Cynthia_X]

Wow! Red dress is beautiful!🌹

[@SewRena]

Thank you 🥰🥰

[@jcmhanel1]

I LOVE the outcome of your dress! The fabric is beautiful!

[@nicholejohnson-p3q]

Love the wallpaper… I would like to make a dress out of it

[@BeckyAbella]

Absolutely darling dress. I bought this fabric to use in a quilt

[@lisalee9182]

I tried a quilting group a couple of times but my wild hair and tattoos made them clutch their pearls and I didn’t follow the way they thought every quilt should be made.

[@SewRena]

Seee and what happens when they don’t get new members? The groups dissolves over time. They won’t last with that attitude.

[@judithcatlett8518]

Dress is beautiful. Thank you for speaking the truth nicely.

[@Lea-bw9wj]

Love the dress. Perfect for a Christmas party

[@VintageVermilion]

The dress is adorable. Love the finds in Stephanie Canada's online shop. As much as I would like to expand my sewing skills, I've avoided becoming a member in attendance with my local sewing guild group because of the potential for "mean girl" vibes. I'm retired now and after having to put up with office politics, cliques and all that trauma/drama in my almost 40 year career, I'm not interested into plunging in those toxic waters again. I'd love to find a friendly, welcoming group for a novice learning knitting and/or crochet but that's probably a fool's errand as well knowing how group dynamics are.

[@SSBankester]

Omg, that dress is adorable!

[@attackhedgehogs]

Your dress is so cute and Christmasy!

[@sheilamcclellan8693]

I was in a neighborhood reading club, ladies only, for a few years. We had all ages and most of us live within walking distance of each other. So far so good. The club got wrecked by Covid eventually but it was already starting to go downhill before that if I’m honest. The original plan was that each lady would host once a month in her home. Some would serve wine and tasty tidbits. We had several ladies who NEVER hosted, citing reasons of their home being too small or they don’t cook. So…it devolved into the same handful of us gals who ALWAYS had to host and the ones who didn’t would bring food/drinks/snacks to supplement the hostess efforts. But again, we got tired of those women (who didn’t know how to cook) going and bringing cheap crappy food like stale expired crackers, greasy pizza, and just nasty disgusting crap. So, the non hostess ladies got butt hurt because they knew the other ladies were getting tired of doing all the heavy lifting and all they had to do was show up and stuff their big mouth. It wasn’t real cliquish but there were a few who thought they were better than the rest of us! ❤

[@GoodVibes1997]

"Krabby Patty secret formula" made me smile. Haven't watched that show since my kids outgrew it. Those were good times.

[@newcreature222]

I tell you one thing this is some dress this is beautiful one of your best makes I really ❤this one 👏

[@maureenpride6142]

Love this dress. Great fabric choice. So pretty

[@judytyler1870]

Good advice and I love the dress!

[@cherylrosbak4092]

What you said about helping goes farther than members helping each other -- when no one wants to be on your executive team something is very wrong. That wrong thing might just be communication, but it could be that your organization isn't giving enough to members to make them want to give back.

[@user-vm5ud4xw6n]

Never joined any type of group. I guess you could say I worked in that type of group. Since everyone else wanted to go out and party and drink which I wasn’t in to, I was usually the outsider. No one ever wanted to just go to lunch and enjoy time away from work

[@SewRena]

Oh no! I’ve never had a drink at any of my group meets. We literally meet to have late lunches or dinner. I can’t hang so no more parties and drinking outside my home