The End of Play: Why Kids Need Unstructured Time

"School has become an abnormal setting for children," says Peter Gray, a professor of psychology at Boston College. "Instead of admitting that, we say the children are abnormal."
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Boston College Psychology Professor Peter Gray says that a cultural shift towards a more interventionist approach to child rearing is having dire consequences for the well-being of kids. "Over the same period of time that there has been a gradual decline in play," he told Reason's Nick Gillespie, "there are well documented, gradual, but ultimately huge increases in a variety of mental disorders in childhood-especially depression and anxiety."
Gray believes that social media is one saving grace. "[Kids] can't get together in the real world...[without] adult supervisors," he says, "but they can online."
For more on Gray's work, follow his blog at Psychology Today.
Edited by Mark McDaniel. Cameras by Todd Krainin and Jim Epstein. Music by Broke for Free.

[@maxilopez1596]

I just completely and utterly fail to understand why there isn't (even in the libertarian community) FAR FAR more opposition to kids being forced to attend prison for basically their whole childhood. Thank god for people like Peter Gray.

[@MilwaukeeF40C]

I partly want kids to see what statist education is like, to make them defiant.

[@smorrow]

Because belief in school is a secular religion, that's why. You can't talk them out of it. Their entire worldview is upside-down and inside-out. They see school the same way statists see the state: talk to a "libertarian" who believes forced schooling becomes okay as soon as it's private, and you'll see their whole way of thinking is "here's why we need forced schooling..." and not "why do we need forced schooling?", which is what it should be for a libertarian. When the worldview has a conclusion baked into it, of course they'll be wrong.

[@anewagora]

I lived in the Free State Project for a year and discovered most of the people I met there were really volatile and authoritarian in their interactions in daily life. If it's not the government many people won't be willing to look at authoritarianism. Many adults believed parents owned their kids like property. I've only met a few self-described libertarians and anarchists who support youth autonomy. Once you discover how deeply entrenched childhood trauma is in ALL of our problems as people, it makes sense that MOST adults find some ideological justification for child abuse. Check out this interview with Dr. Shefali Tsabary on becoming a Conscious Parent: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bnnRgIykZqiIsNE

[@blackbird5634]

In the early 70's we had ''open education'' which was three grades in one classroom environment(three classrooms with open doors at one end of the hallway, plus the playground doors were open), we played together, learned in groups that broke off to meet for certain subjects and we spent lots of time moving from these groups into playtime, and through this we mingled, met and learned from older and younger kids. This fluid structure did not survive those beautiful ''hippie'' days. Not in public schools anyway.

[@taniawalker389]

An eye opener for me in homeschooling community is how many are believers in Christ.. This is a blessing to us.. To raise children this way

[@MadameODeaBell]

In future interviews please allow your expert guests speak uninterrupted, finish their thoughts and spend more time listening and organically progressing through the interview. Great topic and some fantastic questions. Too many interactions along the way. You got this. Please consider next time.

[@meganbaker9116]

Gillespie is terrible. I think he had more time speaking during this interview than Gray did. He always does this.

[@gggusc11]

Excellent, excellent interview.

[@CaryHawkins]

Panopticon! Nick, thank you for a new word!

[@renkenner]

It's an old word, and a chilling one. Very fitting in this case.

[@chriswitherspoon6935]

Every one should be outside in Nature playing , that is the only healing answer , All the problems that this Society is faced with stems from lack of outside Nature play !!!!

[@anewagora]

This is one of the best Reason interviews I've ever seen. Dr. Gray is one of the best youth advocates who truly understands what kids need, and is absolutely uncompromising on the societal changes that need to take place. We listen to people like him, and so many adults are exhausted just imagining the changes necessary. It's easy to say it's too much and we shouldn't transition. There's the implication that kids are not important to society like adults are. They don't contribute, they're burdens, the heaviest investment for the future of the species. I hear resentment in these adults' stories and misery. But they don't get it, if you stop controlling your kids so much they'll thrive so much more they won't be burdens on society anymore. Let kids participate in the open world like adults do! It's an uncomfortable transition but it can integrate the ages in a way that empowers all of us and creates a playful, liberated world for all of us.

[@ariesred777]

Adults should also think seriously the responsibilities of raising children before they have them.At least 15-20years of awareness other than oneself.

[@Lurker1979]

School is run like a jail. Then they wonder why kids when they graduate are so messed up.

[@Mr.Goodkat]

Jails aren't run like that, schools have a ton of dehumanising rules and practises unique to them, ones not even tolerated in prisons, some illegal in jails.

[@ZeroZugarDaddy]

School and many workplaces are just prisons, with prison behaviour.

[@bearcubdaycare]

More Reason videos like this. Freedom is most compelling in the most personal ways. I wish that I had known about the Sudbury Valley School when I was young, having grown up in that part of Massachusetts. Sounds fascinating. A friend recounted that in her youth near Ottawa, children left the house after breakfast, spent the day playing in the hills, and all was good if they arrived home fifteen minutes before dinner. She's one of the most productive, balanced, sensible, personable people I know. If libertarians promoted freedoms like these, I think that it would be more relevant to people than old geezers agitating for tax breaks (the porcupine humping a pile of money meme).

[@pollysshore2539]

Excellent interview. I wonder what Mr. Gray would think of the recent drama over 13 Reasons Why. It kind of took me back to the early and mid 1980s when parents were claiming sad songs and rock in general made teens commit suicide. It is always something else, outside of their immediate environment and metal health state, causing the increase. I recall one mother on Oprah saying her son had flipped out and tried to harm his father before running down the street screaming yet she refused to believe it was mental illness. It was the Dead Kennedy's. Even her sons therapist told her it was rock music. At that point we were looking at more teens who actually experienced the peak in divorce, and other rapid changes that were not always for the best. According to wealthy moral busy busy bodies with nanny's, all parents were not watching or taking care of their kids then. Never mind the fact that even with the increase in suicides it came no where near an epidemic among all kids. They needed to do better and have eyes on them at all time! They needed to know everything they did and heard, and discuss it. I read more than one article in relation to 13 Reasons Why claiming that parents needed to watch every episode with their teen (to make sure they didn't suddenly off themselves because all are teetering on the edge of destruction), and tell them, multiple times an episode, that the main character was still dead. Teens brains are apparently not developed enough in 2017 to know that a character in a fictional drama based around her suicide is still dead during a flashback scene. They can drive, read, write reports, do algebra, learn foreign languages but they can't grasp a show on Netflix. I'm not quite sure how we even get people to see teens as remotely responsible in some aspects. People have latched on to the research saying your brain does not fully develope until you're 25 in a very negative/reactionary way. It's used to forbid them from doing more. Parents are told their child should never be unsupervised, not even to "play" in their own yard, until they are 13 by so called child experts. They view 15 year olds as pre pubescent children, yet put pressures on them to change the world for the better and act like they are developed enough to make legislation!!! It's messed up. Many state officials do not even think a child under 7 should be left alone in a car for more that 5 min with a teenage sibling and try to pass legislation persecuting parents who do via fines or a year in prison. It's zero tolerance for kids and parents. One more note... a few months ago I read a study that said the suicide rates today are similar to that in the 1970s, when the younger boomers were approaching teen and young adult years. I am sure they factor for this and don't mean to sound heartless (I just get tired of the never ending conflation of some tragedies = all kids in mortal danger) but there seems to be a pattern due to similarities/increases in teen and young adult population as well.

[@blackbird5634]

I'd like to point out the abnormal upright sitting posture we demand from our children during the school day. It's not healthy. Of course good posture is important, but as humans growing in nature we don't sit on our tailbones for extended periods of time, we don't lounge in easy chairs and watch television for hours on end. Squatting is natural, it's how we as humans have always encircled campfires, we eat squatting down, we naturally defecate in this posture, and standing up from this position is instinctive from birth. It only becomes a problem with excess weight gain, and the increased use of chairs and couches for everyday relaxation.

[@javichino6371]

Confucius - "The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their proper name." Requiring school attendance, or the application of pre-approved education outside of school, is by definition involuntary servitude. "Involuntary servitude is a United States legal and constitutional term for a person laboring against that person's will to benefit another, under some form of coercion other than the worker's financial needs." The children labour to pass exams for the benefit of the state, under coercion of the potential arrest of their parents. And usually the people in favour of compulsory schooling are the ones also in favour of child-labour laws. Clearly their love for the children doesn't extend to at least giving them the choice of whether they want to participate in the state's propaganda institutes, without compensation.

[@gggusc11]

Javi chino nice.

[@elizabethgreynolds3456]

Javi chino what do you propose as a solution? I agree that the public school system is deeply flawed, but most parents aren't fit to educate their children on their own.

[@smorrow]

+Liz Greynolds - Did you watch the video? *They educate **_themselves_* if you just let them. They are born to do it. It is in their DNA. Also, why only public school? Are private schools really different? John Holt's opposition to schooling came entirely out of working in the "best" private schools.

[@javichino6371]

Liz Greynolds I suggest not to have children if you are not fit to educate them. This way people will stop accepting slave jobs to enrich the federal reserve, since they won't be indoctrinated to believe in statism. Just as everyone in a tribe praying to a volcano god would reinforce the idea that there is a volcano god, so begging politicians for favors reinforces the idea that there is a rightful ruling class, that their commands are "law," and that obedience to such "laws" is a moral imperative. Larken Rose, The Most Dangerous Superstition If you personally advocate that I be caged if I don't pay for whatever "government" things YOU want, please don't pretend to be tolerant, or non-violent, or enlightened, or compassionate. Don't pretend you believe in "live and let live," and don't pretend you want peace, freedom or harmony. It's a simple truism that the only people in the world who are willing to "live and let live" are voluntaryists. So you can either PRETEND to care about and respect your fellow man while continuing to advocate widespread authoritarian violence, or you can embrace the concepts of self-ownership and peaceful coexistence, and become an anarchist. Larken Rose

[@elizabethgreynolds3456]

Are you referring to what Gray said about children being "biologically predisposed" to using tools and learning based on what's important in their culture? I agree that that's an important argument against institutionalization at such a young age, but I think there's a distinction to be made between that type of learning and the learning that happens within schools. You aren't biologically predisposed to learn coding or to learn statistics. When humans began to approach that type of learning, institutionalization of some form was already in place. So with this in mind I guess I'm looking for a plausible alternative to "compulsory schooling," including from private schools, that still allows for upward mobility among those born into families unfit to educate their own. I think Gray makes really important points, but I think that abolishing school because it's "involuntary servitude" is the wrong approach to take considering the culture that we have created.

[@BNK2442]

Peter Gray is awesome. ^^

[@jaydean796]

I found this interviewer rude and continually interrupted Peter Gray. I wanted to hear what Peter Gray had to say rather than this guy. Couldn’t even finish watching it he was so irritating.

[@LibertarianJRT]

the idea that eventually there will be a private/unschooled voting block is an interesting one.

[@smorrow]

Could you elaborate on the "private" part?

[@LibertarianJRT]

Stuart Morrow private or homeschooled... not public.

[@smorrow]

Why should libertarians want anything to do with private schooling?

[@LibertarianJRT]

because theoretically it is free of undue influence and more market driven.

[@spreadthetruthinlove2540]

In retrospect, now we understand why education in public schools was pushed so heavily since the 1950s... trust the bad science, don’t ask questions 💔 People need to continue searching for the truth. Thankful for Dr. Gray.

[@faza553]

Parents are more anxiety driven... College degree often mutually exclusive of love of learning, creativity.

[@humbughumbughumbug]

ok... why is KZbin/Comedy Central pre-empting this with a SEVEN MINUTE AD with Trevor Noah???

[@TheGameNoire]

I go to a sudbury school, it's great and the philosophy behind it is also great.

[@seantripp6028]

Never heard of them before this... Sounds like a good idea

[@RavenStorm332]

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudbury_school here you go also this www.sudburyvalley.org/01_abou_01.html

[@AskAmyS]

1OOMileMedia apparently you didn't listen to the whole video. He speaks about Sudbury for at least 5 minutes.

[@alexhopkins2053]

Do you go to the Sudbury school in Framingham, Massachussets? #SchoolGoals

[@TheGameNoire]

AskAmyS I did I was just backing up the claims that sudbury schools are a positive thing.

[@SkipTerrio]

A lot of this dovetails with Christina Hoff Sommers' research regarding the suppression of boys' natural play drive and treating them as "defective girls". I don't know that I'm on board with the completely freeform, hippie dippy, totally self-directed learning, at least not early on. I think kids need certain fundamentals, and at least *some* of the discipline of the classroom, because that mirrors some aspects of life. However, there definitely needs to be a restructuring of education into a more flexible form that allows kids to maximize their own gifts, and I'm totally on board with ending the age segregation of kids. A more organic grouping by interests and aptitudes, regardless of age, has been far more effective than the traditional model where it has been tried. The addition of tools like Khan Academy have only made such experiments even more successful. Speaking from my own experiences, I also think kids benefit greatly from socializing and playing with different age groups. Older kids learn to deal with people who aren't like them or aren't on their same level (a valuable life skill), and younger kids can learn a lot of things, academically and socially, from older kids who are closer to their age group than they can from adults. Again, a lot of this is anecdotal and informed mainly by my own experiences and observations, but I think this guy is on to something.

[@smorrow]

*I don't know that I'm on board with the completely freeform, hippie dippy, totally self-directed learning, at least not early on.* The youngest children need freedom *the most*. They play the most, so surely they would be the most harmed by play deprivation. Moreover, _what good would you expect to do_ by controlling them? Surely the youngest children would be the _least_ able to tolerate your bullshit. *I think kids need certain fundamentals,* Obviously, that's why they're fundamentals. And the fact that you need them the most is exactly why you should not force-feed them. Your unchecked premise is that unsolicited instruction in X means people will learn X -- do you also believe a statutory minimum wage of X means that everybody gets X or more? Another unchecked premise is that the more important something is, the _more_ you need school for it, which is the same as saying the more important something is, the more you want the state to do it. Yay, let's nationalise the production of food! No. Reading, writing, and arithmetic, you will learn just by existing in the world. Somebody isn't going to say "I want to be a ........." and then not learn how to read. Also, you know how long it takes to learn primary-school arithmetic? It doesn't take six years, it takes _twenty hours_. Force-feeding the fundamentals - what belief could be more absurd? It reminds me of the San: _The !Kung San of the Kalahari Desert in southern Africa believe that children must be drilled to sit, stand, and walk. They carefully pile sand around their infants to prop them upright, and sure enough, every one of these infants soon sits up. We find this amusing because we have observed the results of the experiment that the San are unwilling to chance: we don't teach our children to sit, stand, and walk, and they do it anyway, on their own schedule._ *and at least some of the discipline of the classroom, because that mirrors some aspects of life.* If something is a part of life in the real world, then you'll best learn it _by living in the real world_. Not that there's anything in life resembling school.

[@SkipTerrio]

Why so angry, Stu?

[@smorrow]

?

[@DarkHeartedMusician]

I wonder if Nick or Matt would be interested in interviewing John Taylor Gatto in the near future.

[@dentonet2]

Can't anymore, he died a few months ago.

[@clshira]

I have a son that was in a private school because he was too young to go to a public school. This video rings true, in my opinion, because the teachers had a difficult time controlling him. Seems like the teachers had a hard time controlling because every activity was story time, sit and sing a song time, or crafts time.

[@smorrow]

Kids hate that stuff.

[@ZeroZugarDaddy]

My kids will never be medicated so that they will sit still and stop thinking. Fuck this school insanity, 3.grade just started and i got app. 25 messages from school in just one day. From teachers and almost like school janitor sending messages, about non-important things. Every fn little detail was discussed, i dont remember when i was in 3.grade, that school was that difficult?! It's like poor marketing company now, every person there selling something and praying attention of how important they are. When possible, i will take my kids out there and NEVER are they going back.

[@UnchainTheNight1]

This is definitely one of the things George Carlin got right, big time.

[@smorrow]

> 5:00 childhood is invented Yep. See John Holt's _Escape from Childhood_.

[@alexhopkins2053]

I sent an email to you guys about Sudbury Valley, i hope i influenced this video :D

[@the_Analogist4011]

When I was on Ritalin, i would describe it as a personality suppressant

[@jennifergrove2368]

I've seen his TedTalk before, and this interview is really interesting. There are a few things I'm on the fence about though: 1) Social Media being the saving grace for children in today's rigid school and after school schedule. Will that not lead to addiction? 2) They mention that the dangers of children going missing these days is hyped up. But, is sex trafficking and kidnapping not something to still be quite aware of? I do agree though that today's standard for educating is grossly inadequate. However, I think if we're going to homeschool children, then there needs to be a way for them still to socialize and also for them not to be brainwashed by their parents. (Unconsciously, or Consciously.) Especially when it comes to, dare I say Religion interfering in a child's education.

[@smorrow]

"if we're going to homeschool children, then there needs to be a way for them still to socialize" Yes, it's called homeschooling. Socialisation is built right into it.

[@pollysshore2539]

Jennifer Grove You need to be aware of the facts when it comes to kidnapping and trafficking, not the hysteria and hyperbole. Too many parents keep their kids inside, terrify them daily about abductors lurking in every corner, and do a great deal of damage by letting fear control them and their decision making process. The majority of kidnappings in this country are done by parents. More specifically non custodial parents in the middle of custody disputes who just want to see their child. 99% are back home safe with in hours. Missing does not = abducted or endangered so keep that in mind when you look at the number of "missing persons reports". Just because someone doesn't know where you are, doesn't mean you don't k ow where you are. 90% are misunderstandings about someone's whereabouts and cleared with in hours. The remaining majority are teens sneaking out when grounded, runaways/teens rebelling, etc. Few of the total Number are suspicious/at risk. Are you aware that we have been holding steady at 115-105 stereotypical stranger abductions for the last 30+ years? That's out of a population of 320 million, 78 million ages 18 and under. Your child has a better chance of being struck by lightning in the bath tub than of being abducted. The rate of revoery was fairly low in the 70s & 80s when I was a twerp and parents still let kids play outside all day. It was 60% in the 1990s and it is much higher now thanks to technology/Amber alerts. Small children make up 9-15 of the 105 stranger abductions and the kidnappers are more often women who want a child or it's a ransom situation/drug deal gone wrong, etc. At risk teens with less than good home lives make up the majority of those abducted by strangers. You know what Trafficking is, right? You know what people are talking about in most conversations about trafficking, and child sexual trafficking? It's adult and teen prostitution. I've never known another generation of parents that spent their time worried about their 2 year old being kidnapped and forced into teen prostitution. The hysteria over it is due to hyperbolic language changes made my Anti Prostitution groups, usually radical feminists and Christian fundamentalists. They know Trafficking gets a visceral, negative reaction where the term prostitution does not. Using the word child creates even more of a negative/panicked reaction. The same group of at risk teens with bad home lives are the same ones at the highest risk for prostitution/trafficking. Many are runaways, living on the street and subjected to street economics to survive. I'm of course not saying there have never been any cases of people being forced into sex work or labor. I'm just saying that it is on the very rare side. The government can't even tell us how many teenagers prostitute themselves. All the stats used have been discredited and are wildly exaggerated. Yes, most are prostituting themselves. With the internet and cell phones there is less need for pimps. Most social workers will tell you teen prostitutes typically stick close to and help each other, and many do not have pimps setting things up for them or taking part of their money. Several lie to clients about their age. When you need food and a place to stay you are going to do what you have to do. This is a lengthy article on the matter, but it's good. It breaks down the problems with the moral crusade against prostitution, aka the modern day slavery that is trafficking! www.google.com/amp/reason.com/archives/2015/09/30/the-war-on-sex-trafficking-is/amp

[@pollysshore2539]

Jennifer Grove I have talked to several parents over the last 8 years who will not allow their kids to play outside because they are 100% convinced child sex traffickers are waiting and watching, ready to abduct their kids at all times. It's heartbreaking (and slightly narcissistic). You can't convince them otherwise, not even with actual facts & stats from those who specialize in crimes against or involving children/teens. I have more than one friend who kicked their husbands out of bed, and put their kids in it so they could keep them "safe". They wake up every hour on the hour to make sure their 10 year old is still there and breathing. Ive often wondered if this was some type of left over anxiety from SIDS fears (which is also rare). They can't give up waking up every hour in terror, checking their kids to make sure they are still drawing breath. Its became a ritual of sorts. It's not healthy. It's not healthy for the mom's who all work 12+ hour shifts in the medical field (see... they even know better) and it's not good for the kids who have to go to school. I've also wondered if kicking their husbands out of bed to keep the kids safe (which is an odd statement to me), and to be able to wake frequently and make sure they are still there, is due to anxiety over parental kidnappings, which are the majority, but typically driven by bad divorces and custody disputes... which none were experiencing (though the marriages did eventually end in a amicable divorce after the husband spent years on the couch being treated like an idiot or a danger when it came to his kids). Unfortunately there has been nothing but extreme and excessive parental anxiety and fear over everything harming children pushed for several (several) years, especially since the moral panics over children in the early/mid 1980s. So called child experts even tell parents to not allow their "child" to play outside until they an official teenager (13) who is no longer interested in playing in the sand box or knocking around Tonka Trucks. It's crazy, and there is no reason to say this. The CDC estimates only 6% of children ages 9-11 play outside unsupervised during any given week and it's only for a few minutes. 7-11 minutes. Childhood obesity and diabetes rates continue to increase, more 20 year olds are having strokes and heart attacks, we are seeing more anxiety and fear in teens that had probably been passed down from their parents. Many college professors have said students have been coming in for years hysterically screeching about making campus a safe place for them, free from harm (even hurt feelings) like most entering a nursing home would. This is more important to them than actually learning. It's things that have not been seen in previous generations. Not to this extent.

[@anewagora]

Have you heard of the rat study on addiction? Long story short, when rats had access to each other (interconnection), and a range of toys, they chose to play in their community even when cocaine water was available. When the individual rat was isolated without toys, he would quickly become addicted. The reason we see internet and gaming addictions pop up now is because those tools are the kid's only source of autonomy. An open place to meet people, have respectful relationships, and build skills. It's the freest market in human history! Dr. Gray even goes over internet and game addiction in his book and it shows the same results as with the rats. As for being aware of crimes, you can be aware of crimes and support youth autonomy. Autonomy and safety are often compared as opposites, but autonomy is such a profound and essential human need to thrive and be healthy, that it is supportive of safety- these concepts work together. Check out Self-Determination Theory. Human beings have 3 needs that work together to form a liberated and fulfilling life. Autonomy- full ownership of your life and choices; Competence- the skill, knowledge, and ability to do something well; Interconnection- mutually healthy respectful relationships. This means that to become safer, a person has to become more competent to protect themselves. Intrinsic strength is the essence of independence and thus safety. Martial arts, gun training, exploring the community and environment. Dr. Gray's essential truth here is that autonomy leads to competence, and that leads to safety.

[@meganbaker9116]

@@anewagora I'm with you on all of that except gun training. It's well accepted that a gun in the home increases the risk of someone in that home being killed with that gun. That means less safety, not more.

[@chris_mc_k3438]

I'm surprised that peter gray has nothing against computers or smartphones. In my opinion computer games are not free play at all. Gaming and social media consumption however bear a huge potential for addiction. I wonder what he would say to a child that spends in front of his screen from morning till night everyday forgetting to eat, sleep and go out.

[@Mr.Goodkat]

He'd say it's unhealthy I bet. I'd add exercise release's dopamine and serotonin, very addictive chemicals and you can get addicted to exercise, people have and it has even cost some their lives but we don't constantly worry about this when we try and push other's to exercise or when we see they spend too much of their time working out we don't interfere unless we see it's starting to become a problem, the example you give is someone where it's clearly become a problem, there is no way someone neglecting themselves that much to the point where they forget basic survival needs ingrained so deep within us like eating isn't trying to get away from something or has a sufficiently interesting and worthwhile life outside the game, if someone coerced you away from the game they'd really just be removing a band-aid best identify what's going on and then the video game usage plus the original problem will both be solved. Gaming and social media consumption are the rock music or reading of our time, there was a time parent's didn't want their kids reading, watching television was another one, every time a new thing shows up it becomes public enemy number one, while really the entire time the enemy has been the underlying issue which leads to any of those things (and exercise and anything else) becoming an addiction in the first place.

[@tmarkoni4951]

literally unstructured

[@anewagora]

Just remember, if kids were paid to go to school, it would be illegal because child labor laws restrict the number of hours worked in a day. The laws and culture cut off kids from their own path to economic empowerment, which make them dependent on the resources of abusive parents and school as a glorified domestic violence shelter. Anyone who enters the path in youth autonomy and self-determination inevitably discovers the root wisdom of our existence. It's a powerful gateway and is profoundly painful. Most adult instincts are built on a deep-rooted fear, the unresolved trauma acts like a parasite that has corrupted their body and puppets them to be authoritarian. When people lose their sense of autonomy, they seek more external control. This is fear-based. It's a reaction made for running away from tigers, not for raising kids or playing with our fellow human beings. When you look at humor and play, you are looking at the highest state of autonomy. And the ORIGIN of autonomy is consciousness itself. It confronts you with your own inherited darkness and the capacity to create hell, passed onto you by your parents and ancestors in their blindness. All the ways they became ego-corrupted will be imprinted on you. And there is something so true about YOU the individual that is the mark of a crime, a tragedy, and a miracle. While you inherit your ancestors' suffering and trauma, your autonomy can NEVER be destroyed or stolen. The religious belief of authoritarians is the conviction you can destroy, steal or claim another's autonomy for yourself. It's desperate denial, and it leaves you feeling powerless because your everyday actions remind you of all the ways you can't do what you desire. As soon as you turn inwardly, you surrender to the world as it is, and instead take ownership of your experience and your path. Allow the world to be as it is, and the world returns your kindness.

[@dentonet2]

Wow man, that was deep, with some very good points.

[@dentonet2]

Wow. That was deep. Also I think you made a good point in the first paragraph.

[@swampfaye]

Had anyone taken into account spiritual life and it's effects for children?

[@DarkHeartedMusician]

So true, Fuzz.

[@anewagora]

Yes, Dr. Shefali Tsabary practices therapy for parents on becoming the most conscious parents and people they can be. She understands the child's needs through this lens. Parents come to her to control their kid more, and don't realize they are the therapy subjects. The kid isn't the problem; the parents create the problems and project it on their kid. Take a look at Shefali's interview here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bnnRgIykZqiIsNE

[@JakeShadowCitizen]

👍👍

[@geek81gangster74]

sigh.

[@VegetoStevieD]

If you have a rational criticism, I'd love to hear it....

[@geek81gangster74]

Khechari no, I was sighing because Nick is so dreamy...

[@geek81gangster74]

It is a reasonable passion...perhaps not entirely rational. ha

[@alexhopkins2053]

I don't see how he is good looking at all but maybe that's because i'm a straight male!

[@geek81gangster74]

Alex Hopkins that's fine, I don't need more competition.

[@joez9839]

How PC these guys are. Oh things are so much better today. Really? Bull! I made my way to school at 5 and walked to school until I was 14 and had to take a bus. Roamed around several square miles of city and then country and managed to find my way home for dinner. Am I that one lucky kid that didn't get molested? No I learned how to interact in an adult world. Learned who and what to avoid. So, in a way I agree with the professor, but things are no better or worse than they were 60 years ago.