Worst Ever: HyperScan by Mattel - Rerez

[@Outside998]

Fun fact: the HyperScan was killed before all cards for X-Men were released, leaving half of the game locked.

[@blackwolf249]

You mean that Mattel intended to release the cards for the HyperScan in MULTIPLE WAVES?!

[@Outside998]

@@blackwolf249 indeed. could you imagine?

[@mrCoolJoe]

Man

[@LouSassoleSledgecock_III]

I have the cards. For sale for only $5,000 each

[@3Guys1Video]

Yikes

[@Nakia11798]

They tried to do amiibos too early, and did literally everything wrong.

[@haruhisuzumiya6650]

Meanwhile Nintendo did the E reader cards earlier

[@elllieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee]

@@haruhisuzumiya6650 and better

[@1Thunderfire]

Shame Nintendo didn't do much with AR Cards really. Anyone remember those?

[@ccricers]

@@haruhisuzumiya6650 E Reader cards were superior too because they stored entire game data as opposed to just codes to unlock stuff already in game cartridges

[@BenLogterman]

Even Animal Crossing amiibo Festival at least tried.

[@BlackFlagHeathen]

My cousin actually got one of these for Christmas. He and my other cousin(his little sister) played it literally once for like half an hour tops and then his sister eventually stuck googly eyes on it and turned it into a “doll.” That scene at the very end had me in stitches because she would make it talk like that.

[@laks6299]

dang

[@GayKermit-._-.]

@@laks6299 spread what? 💀

[@richardadamson1438]

@@GayKermit-._-. He was saying dang, but somehow google translate got involved and translated it into spread.

[@ILovePreschools]

did they get through the loading screens?

[@penitentestudios1492]

This is why I hate it when someone has a younger sister, they always ruin lives, no wonder Mexico is f used for too many people of this race having younger sisters, I wish your cousin's sister never existed, my cousin's life is ruined for having to much little sisters

[@hakont.4960]

At the beginning of the video I first thought "Oh another 90's console", when he said it was the same generation as Xbox360 and Playstation 3 I was quite baffled.

[@videomaker580]

The thing is, I remember when this was being advertised and I wanted it. So glad that never happened (though I did manage to find a controller for one in a goodwill last year).

[@Bro-cx2jc]

Yeah honestly half of the crazy cheap consoles reviewed negatively nowadays would get a lot more slack in the reviews if they were made ten to twenty years earlier. Like the Powkiddy X players, those were made in the mid-2010s but they wouldn't seem so bad if they were late 90's or even early 2000's devices.

[@ericmikesell5252]

Same, Im apalled it came out in the 00s like in the early 90s this maybe would have been cool. If it actually worked right that is.

[@sorrenblitz805]

@@ericmikesell5252 the thing is in the 90's it probably would've worked properly for the most part. I remember a lot of the really kinda cheap crap being built pretty well

[@MrMarinus18]

@@Bro-cx2jc I don't know. The extremely poor build quality, torturous loading times, unreliability and pay-to-win would have it slammed even earlier as well. The Wii came out at the same time and it didn't have any of these issues.

[@poofoo5471]

if I remember, AVGN covered this a long time back, and it also took millions of years to load rumor has it that its still loading to this day

[@MoonlightMirage]

The 10th day of Shitsmas in fact! Also Interstellar Wrestling League had super low volume and Ben 10 had super high volume.

[@PearangeProductions]

I remember that. He got his ears blasted out by the Ben 10 theme song.

[@veilem]

That's wrong.

[@michaelbreen7865]

AVGN also covered how bad the scanning was.

[@Derivedwhale45]

Saw that episode too huh? I remember that episode uploaded like a fresh loaf of bread being baked for the first time ever

[@SPG685]

This was what I read up regarding USB: “Further, the USB port on the back of the HyperScan -- means that every HyperScan console ever built can be a host or device to a PC. That means every console is a developer kit.”

[@SamnissArandeen]

I would have guessed firmware updates on USB sticks, but apparently not! Going on your information, it was apparently cheaper and easier to make every console a developer unit rather than respin the board to delete this PC connectivity feature.

[@AddableStone13]

The original Xbox is the same way, take away a few ram chips and add a different bios, you have the retail console. While not easy, a retail Xbox can be converted to a debug console except for 1.6 boards.

[@MrMarinus18]

Though him ranting on the dated controller ports is so weird. I mean sure using those is a weird decision but it doesn't really make things any worse. Controllers don't need much data bandwidth so there is plenty. Also him saying he hasn't seen one of them in a long time is weird cause most MOBA's still have them. The PC I bought for myself last year brand new still has a seperate input like that for both the mouse and keyboard. They really are completely pointless as I just use a wireless USB dongle for them but it's still there.

[@wolfetteplays8894]

So people could actually make good homebrew for this thing?

[@MrMarinus18]

@@wolfetteplays8894 I'm not surprised. Making good stuff for this garbage is the ultimate challenge for an Indie dev.

[@SauceEstPizza]

Is it just me, or the name "Intellicards" sound like a unreleased, uncool accessory for the Intellivision? Pretty ironic, because Mattel created both.

[@yourmother__]

That would have actually been dope.

[@amirhaikal6672]

One thing different. Intelevison are actually decent for it's time

[@andreworders7305]

Might have been intentional branding since they made both

[@sorrenblitz805]

Pretty sure it's just an intentional call back.

[@masonasaro2118]

sounds like an amiico thing

[@mak4715]

I feel sorry for every kid who got this as present.

[@caracalcontinuum3118]

I hope no parent was that dumb.

[@Kalvinjj]

thankfully, very few.

[@donkique956]

M Ak I killed my parents. They deserved it.

[@shepherdofelo1122]

I got one and never touched it. Went right back to the cube.

[@vito7428]

@@donkique956 That's pretty fuckin edgy

[@ItsJustTrevor]

4:09 Keep in mind that this thing only sold 10,000 units... And since they were prone to breaking, you can probably imagine how many were returned

[@P3ret]

Bro the Soulja game console sold better💀

[@tommygarson8592]

"_____ is a massive company, and they can do no harm right?" oh boy if I had a dollar for every time someone thought THAT

[@elijahorsmthh]

You would be a B I L L I O N A R E

[@JackHeadphonius]

Good god, you might get richer than Jeff Bezos

[@QUEST-FOR-POWER]

Then you'd have enough money to start your own company.

[@thickskulls]

@@QUEST-FOR-POWER And become massive. And make even more money.

[@sayvionwashington1939]

If I had a nickel for everytime someone said that, I'd own the entire coin making industry.

[@mrgerman9652]

This amount of greed is actually disgusting

[@ThisAlias]

Die Gier ist fast egal, das unverschähmteste ist das es dreckig zu spielen ist...

[@alpyboy]

This is lootbox's to a tee!!!

[@neoxeo77]

*nervous EA sounds*

[@zyzzy-ko4ww]

This is an insult to greed.

[@thisp0ryg0nwillgiveyourdev65]

I can believe you on that part as the cards are mandatory for EVERYTHING and you need "booster packs" to get more content. Not helped by the fact that they most likely thought that video games were nothing more than a toy

[@flednanders7556]

Pleading with your parents about the indeterminate funds you require to buy cards and complete a Hyperscan game in 2006 while superior browser games are free and all your homies are packing Pokemon cards is like Wile E. Coyote walking in mid-air away from a cliff without falling because he's still looking forward.

[@aldairreynoso2564]

Some of us were children that were scammed. Although I do remember buying them at a goodwill every weekend. As an adult that would've been a red flag but as a gullible child I was thrilled.

[@johnt.campbell316]

Shane: "Way back in the year *2006...* " Me: Graduated high school in 2005, "Yea... That's *SO* old, dude..." Me: God, *I'm* SO old, dude...

[@huntmcdede1238]

you think that’s scary? i’m old enough to drive, and i was born your junior year of high school.

[@silveryote1]

Graduated in 2009 here, and I agree, I feel old af

[@_specialneeds]

i graduated ..........wait for it.......1997. Ya ....owned a launch model 8 Bit NES.

[@ThomasWilson4]

I feel you, class of 05 here too

[@DrGregoryHouseIT]

I feel ya, I graduated in 2004.

[@DocOck]

Microsoft: Xbox Mattel: Lootbox

[@mariic2]

EA: Lootbox on Xbox

[@PlayStation_5247]

Ubisoft!

[@michaelsanchez1361]

So it seems Mattel was the pioneer of game lootboxes

[@Arbteron]

More like *Microsoft: Xbox* *Microsoft: Lootbox*

[@robertharris6092]

They were ahead of the times.

[@thekungachunga4578]

The funny thing about this console is that when you take into account how expensive all the cards were, assuming you wanted to do anything more with this thing besides cleaning out your ass with it, would be just as if not more expensive than even the 360 and PS3 were at launch, just to unlock all the content on a disc.

[@valivali8104]

*trying and failing to clean your ass with it...

[@EEVEE_fan16]

Imagine how much it would cost for all 5 …

[@wolfcaliburRX]

You forgot one thing about the intellivision: That gorgeous and beautiful woodgrain

[@Dragonfire511]

and the BEEE SEVENTEEN BOWMBEEER

[@sirlukas73]

@@Dragonfire511 what about b0mb squd

[@TombstoneChris]

@@Dragonfire511 AVGN 🤘

[@Dragonfire511]

@@sirlukas73 they will never do in time out the code the code. figure out the code!

[@julsbarracuda9892]

LGR would like your comment, lol

[@MuchWhittering]

Apparently they didn't even release all the cards for all the games. So even if you did fork out, you still couldn't get a complete set!

[@crazyluigi6664]

What a fucking joke of a system. I'd almost wonder how an emulator of the system and its card implementation would work now.

[@chriswolf9063]

@@crazyluigi6664 it won't. Ever emulated any skylander games on a PC without the skylanders figurines? Even Star Link Battle for Atlas is just as guilty.

[@crazyluigi6664]

@@chriswolf9063 No................ hence why I asked in the first place.

[@TheTheninjagummybear]

@@chriswolf9063, So, there's no way to spoof the cards/figurines?

[@TheTheninjagummybear]

@i change my pfp constantly, I don't understand.

[@SirLightsOut99]

Imagine making your pack in game a fighting game, then not giving your controller a d-pad. I guess it would be all right if the special move inputs were just quarter circle motions, but if there were dragon punch motions and stuff like that I feel so bad for anybody who tried to play this.

[@GCJACK83]

The Hyperscan is the abused child of the Intellivision that no one talks about at the old consoles reunion. You know the one. So messed up and unloved feeling that he committed crimes beyond the scope of humanity and got sent to federal prison for consecutive life sentences so hardly anyone wants to bring him up at the dinner table. Edit: Stadia is now Hyperscan's cell mate in that federal prison. For the same reasons.

[@fallthefox699]

i agree

[@g-forcefgt323]

This is oddly specific

[@therealAkito]

This is cryptically specific..... u got something to say man?

[@charlie_mario6292]

You good bro?

[@GCJACK83]

Yeah, I'm good. Was just a fun way of looking at the pile of garbage that is the HyperScan.

[@Pixelations10]

Sonic 06: "We have loading screens that take forever" HyperScan: "Hold my cards!"

[@skelskeleton]

ironically it was the same year too

[@tangerbree-sunrise7932]

XD

[@spun1930]

Hyperscan '06

[@hotel_arcadia]

Loading screens aren't even that long in Sonic '06. I can think of three other games with even longer loading times.

[@theyamo7219]

A 7th generation console with Commodore 64 loading times....gotta love it. LMAO

[@TheBechtloff]

As a comic fan I remember seeing this mess advertised in comics a ton. Thought it seemed like a terrible idea.

[@doktawhawee9870]

Someone needs to reverse engineer this to unlock all the content.

[@MessalineApghar]

Yeah ... A pc based emulator and a modern rfid reader lol..

[@returnofbeaux]

There have to be some expressions of developer opinion embedded somewhere, but then again Mattel seems intimidating.

[@Conkerscrib]

Though who would put in the time and effort to?

[@sssstick]

it'd be worth it simply for archiving the entire thing

[@DanielFerreira-ez8qd]

Look, a lot of people make useless things with their time, they could at least do something interesting

[@PutrickStir]

Not only did Mattel also make the intellevision, they also produced the power glove for the NES

[@yoosha9153]

ngl that sounds like a MASSIVE red flag right there

[@thebetaman]

@@yoosha9153 Don't you mean a big red light

[@toainsully]

Not to mention that they also hold the rights to Thomas the Tank Engine and even made an ungodly reboot of it.

[@cotton_lover9654]

That's true

[@dethdefire]

Why no one talking bout avgn edit: WOW 3 LIKES

[@SynthMusicWorld]

For hilarious reading, look up this console's system specs. 16 MBs of RAM! A 32-bit processor! High tech!

[@elgooGmirrorExists]

Sunplus SPG290 I believe.

[@DaWrecka]

So it's a crap Dreamcast. Eight years after the Dreamcast.

[@Schnort]

​@@DaWreckathat's an insult to the Dreamcast

[@DaWrecka]

@@Schnort You're right, I apologise to the Dreamcast unequivocally. That was undeserved.

[@krazislav]

I would love to read/watch a behind the scenes from the dev teams for these games and the console itself.

[@nthgth]

That runs through my head _every_ time I watch an AVGN episode. "WHAT WERE THEY THINKING??!" I'd really like to know!

[@MariktheGunslinger]

Someone get Matt McMuscles on this posthaste!

[@CarrotConsumer]

I hope you speak Chinese.

[@sorrenblitz805]

@@CarrotConsumer "F@#£ it" but in Chinese

[@rocketsmall4547]

dev team meeting: boss: so who have experience in game development? no one? no worries. kids are dumb. just make it slightly better than e.t. for Atari. guy1. whats e.t. guy2. whats atari guy 3. im just a janitor who wondered in the meeting. but how about cards to unlock the games we sell for money boss: guy3 you are promoted you are the boss now. im go vacation. release any garbage asap

[@NewBlueMario1016]

19:26 DON'T LOSE THIS CARD! Or suffer the consequence of having to replay the entire game over every playthrough like the old days.

[@Espartanica]

Even SNES had saves

[@JanusHoW]

The worst part about this console is that its moneymaking gimmick of locking content behind random draws actually survived its demise...

[@Surg-265]

Remember when you didn't have to PAY for a free game?

[@Regigigas_YT]

@@Surg-265 I do. It's called apks on Android and Piracy on PC. Also known as hacking on consoles.

[@Surg-265]

@@Regigigas_YT No, it's called piracy no matter where you do it.

[@Regigigas_YT]

@@Surg-265 APK files can be legally obtained through Google Files, you can share paid apps that way.

[@farenhaid13421]

So matel made the original lootboxes... jees now we can add "stealing ideas" to the list of EA fails.

[@farenhaid13421]

@Scott Stamp this thing was on the ps3 Xbox 360 era... so probably not by then.

[@senorspaghetti6661]

Mattel also ruined thomas the tank engine for a f00kin' toy line

[@senpaicity3334]

You could spend a hundred dollars on a single game. -Every EA game ever

[@psionikal]

Spore:"Am I a joke to you?"

[@rorrim0]

@@anonymousperson7536 6 words, plants versus zombie garden warfare two.

[@blankname3816]

fallout 76: hold my nuka cola

[@haruhisuzumiya6650]

@@anonymousperson7536 WWE2K18 switch and WWE2K20: hold my glitches

[@akirafuudou2037]

@@anonymousperson7536 No they don't. Sim City on PC didn't really work for the longest time.

[@gimmickmusic8827]

Funnily enough, that old port is called a PS/2 port... and you actually can still find them on high end computer motherboards. There are some people that swear by them. Clearly an advantage that the hyperscan did not take advantage of.

[@ScrambledAndBenedict]

Honestly, there's nothing objectively wrong with the PS/2 port. In fact, the specs of USB and PS/2 are actually very similar: both use 4 wire serial data at 5VDC. Even their datarates were pretty comparable when the Hyperscan came out. It's just that USB is more flexible, supports input and output, and is designed to be hotswapped (you CAN hotswap PS/2, but it can damage the motherboard). Really, for something like the Hyperscan, and honestly a lot of consoles, PS/2 ports for controllers are more than ideal and probably cost less too. The more cynical side of me thinks though, their main motivation for using PS/2 was probably to force you to use their own proprietary controllers rather than being able to buy third-party, since let's be real, this thing was clearly built as cheaply as possible with the express purpose of milking as much money as humanly possible from their customers. Honestly, with how simple that controller is, I'm surprised they didn't go even cheaper and use old DE-9 connectors and a shift register to take inputs.

[@primes1937]

I remember one of my programming courses in college actually got into why some people swear by PS/2 over USB: interrupts. In short, when you push a button on a PS/2 keyboard or move a PS/2 mouse, the port tells the system that it has input for the system to process. USB is not allowed to generate interrupts, so every so often the system has to ask the port "do you have input for me?"

[@Aldenfenris]

@@primes1937 I see, so the PS/2 has the ability to actually scream to the system 'hey, I did something!' rather than wait until they are asked 'hey, you said anything?' I can see why it can be helpful depending on the situation.

[@HypercomboProduction]

What could have saved Hyperscan would have been the cards. No seriously, if the cards could be used in a TCG like game, the cards could survive and maybe become a separate property. Yugioh and Magic the Gathering being the best examples.

[@reloadpsi]

That would've been really cool actually.

[@superalt513]

Imagine a yu gi oh game for the hyperscan

[@ReigoVassal]

@@superalt513 it's PS3's "Eye of Judgement"

[@WillieManga]

Also required would be internet connection, better hardware, and responsive scanning.

[@MsAmber82]

​@@WillieManga Nah, just a local championship can resolve that

[@Badhammer315]

imagine being the person who did buy all those packs of spiderman cards just to play all those levels of that terrible game. where are they now? what has this done to their lives?

[@viscountrainbows6452]

Probably in a padded room somewhere mumbling about booster packs and loading.

[@gaspardsavoureux8680]

Probably dead

[@Doginawall]

Scott Panna I will not stop liking this

[@zeroattentiongaming820]

They probably became the Seto Kaiba of Hyperscan players. Going around mocking people for their third rate X-Men roster

[@luigi7834]

Probably just fine. Little kids buy dumb things sometimes. Or rather harass their parents to buy it for them.

[@macs2010]

Rerez : On the hyperscan you could spend hundreds of dollars on a single game. EA: Hold my beer

[@zyzzy-ko4ww]

This assessment of the hyper-SCAM is unfair to Evil Anarchy.

[@macs2010]

@@zyzzy-ko4ww agree

[@JanusHoW]

More like... Every gacha game ever: Hold our beers.

[@Bro-cx2jc]

​@@zyzzy-ko4wwThere are so many people saying "hyper-SCAM" in all caps like that that it's starting to feel like a cringey facepalm dad joke every time I see it XD

[@ChaseMC215]

The X-Men game wasn't even complete as half of the game is locked due to the cards for the game halting production due to the console's death.

[@pumbaaj]

The system looks like a grilled sandwich maker from an infomercial. I kept expecting a grilled cheese when you opened it.

[@Poyoboi2005]

@Mudkip909 like the grilled cheese

[@ZorotheGallade]

(Googly eyed Hyperscan):"Nope"

[@Bro-cx2jc]

@Enmity the Kindhearted The HyperScan could probably grill cheese pretty well, all you have to do is use it for too long and it'll overheat.

[@adryaunadavis6370]

Yeah! I could literally cook a panini in that thing right now!💀

[@purpleapple4052]

"Some games were planned to have more than one type of Card Packs, being released at a later date. X-Men had in the manual the complete list of 102 cards that could work with the game, the first half being released as the Black Series, with a later Red Series being planned but canceled, leaving the game with half the content locked with no way to access it." From the wikipedia article. Just wow. Instead of doing Hot Wheels AcceleRacers 5 and 6, Mattel did this. smh

[@talkingcatboi4854]

I am sad But also glad

[@talkingcatboi4854]

Don’t care for the other half

[@purpleapple4052]

There's so much gambling involved with the hardware itself they might as well just make a casino-themed console

[@Bro-cx2jc]

Then again, if someone emulated it with codes or hacked the console properly like some folks here are talking about, maybe they could get the whole game.

[@purpleapple4052]

They had a planned (and canceled) Avatar: The Last Airbender game I wonder how the gameplay for that would be like lol One card for each character and/or bending move

[@kevinoverbeck4250]

I worked for mattel and helped make this system. We had extra money in the budget, and to be honest...the execs are so disconnected, you just have a good pitch and you can have anything you want.

[@mackenziewoloschuk7375]

oh jeez...I kinda wanna ask questions...like...what happened with the XMen game in comparison to the other games?

[@TheBlackAbyss1]

hyper scan: flops Nintendo: Releases Animal Crossing Amiibo Festival 9 years later.

[@the1stwing]

That was way better because Nintendo

[@TheGeoXWar]

The_1st_wing Nintendrone

[@the1stwing]

@@TheGeoXWar ok boomer

[@supercharliegalaxy]

@@the1stwing YEAH! No Joke I actually have 15 out of the 16 amiibos. I'm so happy I got them on discount. XD

[@Carnivorewaifu]

@@supercharliegalaxy which one is missing? I have 0:

[@MetallicDeviant]

If your game console is located in the toy aisle; it's garbage. My young self knew better to avoid this junk. Hell, I think it was already in the clearance bins when it was new; it was that bad.

[@JerseyDevils21]

True

[@zyzzy-ko4ww]

Calling the hyper-SCAM garbage would be unfair to both garbage and Oscar T. Grouch.

[@gircakes]

Myles Fontana Exactly. It’s just a plug and play with dlc.

[@Bro-cx2jc]

AtGames Genesis: *quietly tries to scoot out of sight behind the Buzz Lightyear action figures*

[@noahbossier1131]

Agreed

[@drewhunter4347]

Fun Fact: The HyperScan’s Wikipedia page has the minimum amount of money you would have to spend in order to get all of the cards in the game. Combined it would be around no less than $1000?!!!!

[@dspsblyuth]

For that kind of money I could buy 2 decent handguns and blow my head off twice

[@guybeleeve]

I remember seeing those card packs everywhere but I’ve never actually saw the console. I thought that it was some type of board game that talks. Well I was too busy enjoying my 360 anyway.

[@cyrus2395]

Wait a minute. WAIT A MINUTE! You saying you thought it was a talking board game reminded me that I thought the exact same thing! I totally forgot that until now

[@alfsleftnut9224]

I remember seeing the console at my local goodwill like 10 years ago but never saw the cards

[@Bro-cx2jc]

Even the cards alone without anything else, like a console or board game, would probably be a better use of a player's time than playing the Hyperscan. I wonder if anyone kept their Intellicards and used them for card games. I can imagine other people being like "whoa dude where'd you get those shiny red cards with those weird metal rectangles on them?" "If you ever ask me that question again, I will scan my Spider-Man card to give you a web blast to the face after twenty or thirty seconds have passed." "Bitch what did you just say?...seriously, what?" *Starts searching for Broken Record mod to repeat last message*

[@spiritualdawg3623]

“The hyperscan looks like something that batman wouldve thrown out of his batcave bc it was obsolete”

[@zyzzy-ko4ww]

The hyper-SCAM has been obsolete since 1492 BCE.

[@viscountrainbows6452]

The Hyperscan is so obsolete, the Amish aren't even forbidden from playing it

[@ivanwrsong4792]

@@viscountrainbows6452 Hell I doubt even the Amish wants this it was outdated even for them.

[@sdmedia1323]

The only reason Doctor Doofenshmirtz fails every time is because he uses the circuitboard from the HyperScam- I mean HyperScan. And needs more cards.

[@MANOFBLADE]

CGR reference there :p

[@fsdfgasgfisd]

The Hyperscan sounds like Modern Video games today. Mattel and the Hyperscan were ahead of their time.

[@espurrthestupididiot2405]

explain pfp. or i will call someone.

[@kitwolfkat6453]

It sounds impractical, if it were released somewhere in the 1990s it would be somewhat alright. But at that time, consoles were already "modern" Just.. soo impractical to use.

[@CornerstoneMinistry316]

I'm pretty sure EA and Ubisoft got ideas from Mattell in 2006

[@sosasees]

In my opinion, the HyperScan should not be forgotten. It shows the opposite of what you should do, which is sometimes even more useful than knowing what you should actually do. It shows how to piss off and scam players by making the games require Lootboxes, and making the actual product cheaply and badly with no quality control.

[@epsilonthedragon1249]

So what you’re saying is it’s the YandereDev Simulator of video game consoles

[@themonsterunderyourbed9408]

Explain the success of Skylanders.

[@sosasees]

@The Monster Under Your Bed Skylanders had quality control, and putting toys into the game instead of cards felt more magical. This made Skylanders a great novelty at the time. only later did players become more critical of the toy collecting aspect and of the gameplay that barely changed in newer games, until the games stopped selling well and they stopped making them.

[@reloadpsi]

@@themonsterunderyourbed9408 Skylanders was cancer, but it did a lot more things right than whatever this was. For one, even though the creature designs were garbage, the models were at least somewhat worth collecting and displaying. Briefly, because I just see them filling up boxes in charity shops now.

[@themonsterunderyourbed9408]

@@sosasees I'm sad still sad lego dimensions got canned.

[@sandakureva]

Imagine on-disc DLC being an actual feature.

[@xxalex423xx]

haha yeah imagine...

[@otherjacobyt]

This post was made by the competent console gang.

[@TheBonkleFox]

@@otherjacobyt That's literally all they had to fucking do. They just had to make it a competent system and you'd be able to look past the lootboxing, but they couldn't! they couldn't do it somehow!

[@64bitmodels66]

*cough cough* Capcom *Cough cough* 12kb dlc *cough cough*

[@Osio1000_5]

Sonic Forces Super Sonic DLC was on disc. It included Super Sonic and Sanic shirt... Yeah SEGA is a new EA

[@NellyTubeAwesomeURL]

let's just appreciate the fact he spent a fortune just trying to find a working unit-

[@Bro-cx2jc]

Had to buy four freaking Hyperscans just to give us a review video

[@changoelchango]

Me: mom can we get skylanders Mom: we have skylanders at home Skylanders at home:

[@khmerkandal121]

or amibo

[@JoeyJ0J0]

@@khmerkandal121 at least most Amiibos can work with other games

[@ItsLelingTime]

*Lego dimensions would like a word with you*

[@willgregg1076]

Skylanders are long gone

[@serPomiz]

@@ItsLelingTime those are still lego pieces

[@1000Master]

Actually, the HyperScan launched in October 2006 and was discontinued in December 2007. So it was actually a year and 2 months before being abandoned by Mattel. It's still a piece of garbage, though.

[@camero4134]

It sold only 10 thousands, the second worst selling console as far as my knowledge goes

[@zyzzy-ko4ww]

Calling the hyper-SCAM a piece of garbage would be unfair to garbage.

[@hiimemily]

@@camero4134 That's... even fewer than the Gizmondo. That shouldn't even be possible.

[@noahbossier1131]

Wow that’s insane

[@noahbossier1131]

That’s insane

[@thesamejackalsniperthatkil117]

2:39 love how he positioned the camera to make it look like a generic toy review. Which makes sense because mattel is technically a toy maker.

[@PearangeProductions]

12:12 "You could spend hundreds of dollars on a single complete game." Well, as complete as it can be without _hacking the damned thing._ The rest of the HyperScan cards (and I honestly cannot believe I'm saying this) _never came out._ So if you want the _complete_ game, you've gotta basically _homebrew your HyperScan,_ or you'll never get the _actual full game._ *_That's just sad._*

[@PearangeProductions]

Not entirely sure, but _someone_ on the internet might know how to homebrew one of these HyperScan consoles. I've seen _emulators,_ but they are a _bitch_ to try and set up.

[@Sheevlord]

@@PearangeProductions I guess that if the games were any good then there would've been more progress made with the emulation. I'm actually surprised that anyone bothered to developed an emulator at all.

[@Bro-cx2jc]

@@Sheevlord I can imagine someone desperately trying, just to completely void all the loading screens.

[@Wflash00]

If the cards aren't encrypted (seems unlikely they would be, being 2006) you could totally backup cards and use them on the system with an rfid reader writer Plus burned backups of the games, and bam you got all the games and all the content

[@tylern6420]

So the code exists, but the physical cards to activate the code are nonexistent.

[@sonichero]

Here’s what the USB port is for, just plug the hyperscan into your PC using a USB cable and execute order 66 just be aware of long load times

[@xXxmlg_vacxXx]

i Believe to USB port is to flash the firmware onto it

[@Bro-cx2jc]

It only powers things as far as I'm concerned lol

[@foxymetroid]

I tried executing order 66 with the Hyperscan. By the time the loading finished, the empire lost two Death Stars and the Emperor twice. Then I needed to scan a card I didn't have.

[@BinglesP]

IWL could’ve been a neat return to the cartoony, lighthearted style of games that were popular in the 16-bit era. I’m not a fan of that type of game, but I know some people are.

[@RondoOfBloodX]

It was clearly trying to be Clayfighter but failed miserably.

[@BlackestOfFates]

So sad to see XLR8 being called a "blue black alien thing"

[@TheBonkleFox]

That name's reserved exclusively for fasttrack

[@andrewaftontheandroidhedge2780]

ya its sad how are favrote aliens and a kid but we care more about the aliens they masacurd them

[@greyseth2721]

*sad kineceleran noises *

[@LocalTorchwoodIntern]

Man would suck if you needed a certain alien but you dont own the card.

[@JayTechZM]

I just thought this the moment I heard him say it

[@Xifihas]

Lets make a very fragile console with exceptionally long loading times that relies on having easily lost cards in order to actually do anything and market it to children! You know, those things known for breaking and losing everything they get their filthy hands on and having no patience for anything! We're sure to make a fortune!

[@grahamskaggs4376]

26:20 the only good thing you can do with this thing, no cards required

[@Xxl2eactionzZ]

Mattel to EA: Ahh, yes, yes my child

[@ahniandfriends123]

Not surprising considering their history back in the 90s when a certain infamous genre was prevalent back then and the numerous buyouts between them.

[@ahniandfriends123]

@ZeR0's BuLLeT you never heard of edutainment games?

[@zyzzy-ko4ww]

Not even Evil Anarchy deserves such an insult.

[@georgeandrews1394]

You know, as I was watching you play the Ben 10 game, I had a thought. '...Wasn't this game intended for children?' And then I realized that none of the developers likely ever had that thought.

[@MuchWhittering]

"For children" doesn't mean a game can't be difficult.

[@ceptemzorpus]

@@MuchWhittering Sure but what about the type of children that would get a Hyperscan? They're usually very small, and if I've learned anything from having a little brother, they get really pissed when the game is "too hard," which usually just means that they lost the game. So, if a game made for children is really hard, not a lot of children is going to want to play it.

[@elephystry]

I had that thought when I saw Ben punching people.

[@sorrenblitz805]

@@MuchWhittering in fairness there are gamers that aren't really looking for a challenge either. Some gamers just want to sit down with a game and chill and have fun.

[@MsAmber82]

​@@MuchWhittering I think he talks about have money to buy lots of collective material, in this case cards

[@ginnrollins211]

One of the characters from IWL: I like pie, I like to eat pie everyday. Hugh Neutron: Endless pie. Endless pie.

[@bitwize]

The USB may have been intended for controllers, but they may have found USB introduces too much latency due to the weak-ass SoC that serves as CPU and I/O controller and thus added DIN controller ports accessible directly through GPIO, memory mapping, or similar. (Thus adding EVEN MORE INPUT LAG.) The long load times are undoubtedly due to slow I/O to the CPU, a shitty drive that can only do 1x, or both.

[@AlexanderTrombetta3010]

😯

[@fenrir5741]

That's the main reason the controller shouldve plugged into a port close to the core of the cpu same with the debug mouse and keyboard the like plugging in a keyboard to a din cable on an old PC the port would be close to the cpu in most cases on ancient 80s to mid 90s motherboards when the inputs improved to 16 times though they didn't need the ports next to the internal cpu this console uses hardware older than the late 90s guys its that ridiculous or what also I think the console comes with a busted terrible hard disc on launch which may explain why the games need the cards because their hard disk had like 1056 kilobytes of memory enough for a 3 to 4 cards based format to save to the console which means they couldn't make this thing with a better hardware like a 100 mb hardisk that would actually make, the games playable without the cards considering the quality of the games on the console

[@fenrir5741]

I swear Mattel refused to give this console a better hardrive just to make shifty videogame practices through loot box style mechanic cards about decade earlier than Expected I hate Mattel so much but now I hate them even more because a good big hard drive would make the games completely functional with no dlc cards

[@jacobthompson7813]

SLOW DOWN PROFESSOR! *furiously taking notes*

[@elipse371]

I like your funny words, magic man

[@zelg.5551]

I'm amazed you not even once mispronounced it as 'HyperScam'.

[@theutubepower1243]

Actually he mispronounced the name the entire video, he kept calling it hyperscan instead of hyperscam

[@Bro-cx2jc]

That's not a mispronunciation

[@chrisphil510]

go back to reddit

[@giornogiovanna2008]

How about no KZbin is a platform pretty much anyone with a device can access.

[@RangerJoe77]

I call it the Hyper Scam by accident everytime I talk about.

[@truefailure6359]

Very fun idea, I could imagine the “mods” from the Marvel game being in-game unlockables in a much better game... But paying for all of them? Paying to get a *chance* at playing them? That’s beyond fucked.

[@WinVisten]

I remember commercials for this POS treating it like it was the most epic 90's thing ever. Truth is, I'm SO glad I never owned one. Those commercials were as true as the R-Zone commercials. That is to say, they were lying through their rust-stained teeth.

[@TheBonkleFox]

To be fair, the r-zone commercial had the kid cry out in pain then disintegrate.

[@gagejohnathan9641]

As the nerd said, they did one thing that the virtual boy never did, that had a strap.

[@WinVisten]

@@gagejohnathan9641 The Virtual Boy's prototype DID have a strap, the reason they got rid of it is because the console was so heavy that they thought it would cause neck pain/cramps and the player's posture to get screwed up.

[@Rountree1985]

But it came out in 2006

[@noahbossier1131]

Makes sense

[@ProjectDT88]

Sonic 06: My loading screens are going to be so terrible everyone will remember me for them! HyperScan: Hold my beer!

[@conlia]

More like: Sonic 06: *now loading...* "Our loading screens are so long and terrible, everyone will know me because of them!" HyperScan: *now loading...* *now loading...* *now loading...* *now loading...* *now loading...* *now loading...* *now loading...* *now loading...* *now loading...* "Hold my RFID scanner."

[@thehappysquid1552]

I like how this series is slowly recording his descent into insanity

[@Vanilla0729]

I remember the HyperScam in stores, and thinking, "that's the dumbest gimmick I've ever heard of."

[@theutubepower1243]

They should’ve just added eyes to it and market it as a puppet

[@GentleMannOfHats]

more like, HyperScam amirite? [laughtrack]

[@che7269]

NOW I HAVE TO DELETE MY COMMENT

[@mattford6848]

che Me to.

[@GentleMannOfHats]

lol

[@DexDexter0]

*Seinfeld Theme*

[@robertharris6092]

Thats collectable based games for you.

[@ขนิษฐาอินทโรดม]

24:49 Actually, The reason that you turn into the wrong alien when you scan the card is because in the original TV series, sometimes Ben would just turn into the wrong alien & this is an example of that.

[@AnonymousFrogNG]

4:06 Two dead consoles. Remember when the AVGN couldn't get two Jaguar CDs to work?

[@CharlieRAnimaMX]

-and the Paint Can Add-on for the AMIGA CD32, and the 4 NES for the "Not use in a top loader game", Atari Controller,

[@zaxtonhale5860]

Enhance your game ENHANCE YOUR LIFE

[@gracjanszmyt1442]

And Atari 5200 Edit: And few Pong consoles

[@purpleapple4052]

and also some CDI's

[@GhengisJohn]

19:04 See, you _CAN_ still have fun with a hyperscan! Btw, best use a Mattel Hyperscan will ever see.

[@MechMK1]

Whenever I hear "Mattel" and "Video Games" I can not help but say "Mattel Electronics presents BEEEEEE SEVENTEEEEN BAAUUMBERRRR"

[@callmevbuck4054]

Mattel: makes hyperscan Intellivision: We can **yeet** this outta the window

[@ashkitt7719]

They should have made an Intellivision 3.

[@paivacn08]

It's like a Y2K bug, but in reverse form... A project that should be launched more than a decade before

[@Arcad3n]

1:28 SHANE ACCIDENTALLY PULLING OFF A PERFECT LEMONGRAB IMPRESSION??? LOL

[@QueenCheetah]

Looking back, I wonder if Mattel really missed an opportunity here. Aside from making a better system with better games, I think they could've gotten a lot more hype and attention if they'd just changed from cards to chips. Think about it- as a kid, it's hard to convince your parents to part with $10 for something they don't understand. But three or four quarters? Heck, that's literally chump change! If Mattel had just stuck with chips or something smaller, they could've set up a ton of 'vending units' in local malls (think like the Japanese 'gashapon' models) where each little 'dispenser' bubble is set up for a specific game or series (ex. one has a giant 'Ben10' label on it, another one has 'Spider-man', etc). Yeah, they'd have to keep the cost of these additional collectibles low; but it would've been great advertising, and a unique, fun take on the whole 'collectible gaming' theme. Oh well...

[@HJRO]

Agreed. When watching this video, I was thinking that the idea had potential, but it was done poorly. I was thinking that each card (or chip) could have been scanned in once, and saved on the system. This would eliminate the hassle of trying to keep up with them and switch them out on the fly. In addition, each card/chip could have a unique identifier to make them usable once, so that way people just don't trade them around. Lowering the cost (I like the dispenser idea you mentioned), making the system more functional, making the cards/chips storable in the system memory... these could have gone a long way towards making it stand a better chance.

[@AddableStone13]

In Japan, used ladies underwear is sold in vending machines.

[@QueenCheetah]

@@AddableStone13 It used to be that those particular vending machines were confined to illegal underground gambling 'clubs' and whatnot- they weren't exactly legal or highly-accessible, and I doubt too many even exist these days (internet).

[@QueenCheetah]

@@tophatgaming1873 Basically, what was inside the cards, only removing the larger 'card' part. Like the Disney Infinity Power discs, or the base of a Skylander's figure- a small chip that the game 'reads' to give you the right character/move/ect. A thick card wouldn't fit in most existing vending machine designs (as they're either for round capsules or flat cards), so to keep costs low they could use existing capsule machines if they just cut down the size to the size of the chip (and some decals on top or whatever to identify each chip, of course).

[@TheRenegadist]

Fun fact: The IWL game used the same stock sound pack Turtle Rock Studios used for the first Left 4 Dead.

[@Ericson7Official]

“Mattel is a massive company and they could do no harm, right?” Tell that to Thomas and Friends.

[@shawnfields2369]

Why? What'd they do?

[@soulhoney1227]

@@shawnfields2369 they own the thomas rights and make a horrible reebot

[@shawnfields2369]

@@soulhoney1227 Oh, ok. Thanks. I didn't feel like looking up what they did anyways. So basically, they just took a beloved franchise, like Thomas The Tank Engine, which I loved to watch as a kid, and ruined it? Great... another massively beloved franchise ruined by out of touch corporate a-holes who only care about their own greed and making money, cool. It's not cool, I'm being completely sarcastic, actually. But thanks anyways.

[@soulhoney1227]

@@shawnfields2369 did you watch the reeboot?

[@shawnfields2369]

@@soulhoney1227 Nope. Sorry. I don't really watch tv anymore. When I said i watched it as a kid, i meant the original one back in like, the 90s. I'm almost 30, I don't really have a reason to watch the reboot. Sorry I didn't clarify that earlier.

[@FamiliarGecko]

HyperScan? More like "HyperScam", amirite??

[@IbishuCovetDXi]

yes

[@shamone324dizzatasofthetie9]

Yep

[@julliansabulao4091]

yes

[@XXXTHUNDERSTORMXXX]

yes

[@silva_j3080]

yes

[@RandomTRandomReal]

(You have a Hyperscan.) (You sense a feeling.) (The Intellivision looks down upon you in shame.)

[@johnbakasmoothhotchocolate]

Seeing the Thing fall again and again and AGAIN into the crevice was hilarious. Lol.

[@POVgames]

who else thought unregulated gambling targeting children was illegal?

[@MegaSceptile99]

Not in 2006 apparently

[@wolfetteplays8894]

POVgames it isn’t gambling. Cause trading cards would’ve been outlawed decades ago if that was the case

[@POVgames]

@@wolfetteplays8894 it's always been gambling, just because something can be seen as "illegal" doesn't mean it's enforced, especially if it can be easily taxed

[@macgeek2004]

Modern lootboxes are still, sadly.

[@macgeek2004]

I've also got a game to introduce you to. Ever hear of Raid: Casino Legends? **sadness**

[@TheWoolyWolf]

Hyperscan: *needs cards to play games* EA: *also needs your card to play games* 🤔

[@Dankcommander45]

Your credit card

[@mithmoonwalker]

at least skylanders give you neato looking figures and giants is great

[@DPedroBoh]

I'm sad to tell this but the "card" system on ea games at least works. Most of the time at least.

[@TheTheninjagummybear]

@@DPedroBoh, If they want people to pay more for their games, they should just increase the initial cost...

[@floweyseed]

@@Dankcommander45 that’s the joke

[@sorrenblitz805]

I love his face when he says "Get out your pack of paid DLC nubbins!"

[@Wispii]

The HyperScan: The game console of the red lantern corps

[@eins2001]

Source for your profile pic plz

[@Wispii]

@@eins2001 it's a commission of my OC

[@eins2001]

@@Wispii your oc is hella cute

[@thedivineshadow451]

the 'rage' console

[@berrych3wy]

Xbox: Green Lantern Corps

[@edfreak9001]

"Mattel is a massive company!" "They could do no harm, right?" i mean you can pick one or the other, you don't get really really big by doing things right

[@nthgth]

*Toyota, Sony, and Chipotle have entered the chat*

[@sandtrap175]

What about lego?

[@sandtrap175]

@@nthgth gonna have to disagree with Sony, they handled tlou2 very poorly

[@nthgth]

@@sandtrap175 don't know what that is but I'm guessing Sony were probably really big already before that

[@siriusvittorio2099]

@@nthgth Tlou2 is the Last of us part 2

[@UltromanTheTacoman]

17:15 What do you mean? That looks like a great Hyperscan game. Emphasis on the "Hyperscan".

[@orvilleredenpiller338]

“You get to level up your fighters! That sounds cool right?” I don’t play fighting games. Like at all. But isn’t the idea of fighting games.... BALANCE?”

[@NeviTheLettyFan]

Yeah Pay2Win in a fighting game It's like paying for editing your own character in MUGEN Just the idea makes me sick

[@skidooshlayman12]

You guys talking about Street Fighter V?

[@khdarkriku17]

Skidoosh Layman SFV isn’t pay to win, though.

[@bancon666]

@@khdarkriku17 give it time

[@khdarkriku17]

Bastian 23 I don’t judge games based on hypothetical futures.

[@orvilleredenpiller338]

“I’ve heard of the Hyperscan. How bad could this p-“ LOADING COMMENT “-ossibly... Oh this is horrid.”

[@orvilleredenpiller338]

A ROLLERMOUSE INPUT??????

[@orvilleredenpiller338]

This is actively infuriating, Rerez. Great job. 👍🏻

[@ahniandfriends123]

Meanwhile in the late 90s: "THIS SHOW IS NOW READY TO START, POSE AND DO THE NICK CLICK! READY? 1..2..3 *Johnny Test whip noises*

[@franklinyupa899]

The HyperScan scanner looks like a Lantern Corps logo.

[@hyperx72]

To be fair, you could've just started this video with "It's competitors were the PS3 and Xbox 360" And just ended it right there.

[@phet1211]

hyperx72 I mean...to have competitors you actually have to BE some sort of competition

[@barzenoki7004]

this thing was crappy and had to go against The Xbox 360 PS3 and Wii; there is no winning that battle

[@leonardogomez8812]

hyperx72 That’s like comparing a stone axe with a chainsaw

[@michaelbreen7865]

Good one, hyperx72.

[@Bro-cx2jc]

​@@phet1211 Enemy HYPERSCAN was burned!

[@bubbletea1985]

I think this system would be fun as a toy more than a console. It could have a few in-built minigames like tetris or whatever, then the cards all have different mini games you can play. When you get bored with a game you can just trade with your friends or buy a new one from the store. None of them would be too taxing on the system to load and run, and the cards and the system itself would be priced like a higher-end toy rather than like a video game console

[@TayumeTheMuffinMan]

IIRC, the GBA's eReader accessory did something similar back in the day, with old NES games being playable on scanable trading cards. So yeah, your idea could and has worked.

[@TheVoicesOfTheBeyond]

This idea sounds great, it just needs good execution. Guess what the Hyperscan lacks.

[@Cutie_Nepgear]

4:28 Now that sounds familiar. *flashbacks of the TV4 Four-way Video Game*

[@raelogan]

That bit with the "intellicards" there was just hilarious, I love how the glasses were upside down. XD

[@rerez]

Fact: They are the exact same glasses I wore for the short lived Garry Gamer episodes.

[@raresideb]

@@rerez _comedic pause_

[@ElHarmonyV]

His face was the best part for me

[@Masterge77]

It's never a good sign when a toy company makes a "console" with a gimmick attached to it. The HyperScan is just a Plug-n-Play console with a card game gimmick that makes the whole thing feel more like a toy than a video game console, especially when you consider the fact that Skylanders had a similar gimmick (albeit better executed) that involved toys rather than cards. Moral of the story: Don't sell your game based on a gimmick that involves you having to go out and spend money on external products. At least with Lootboxes and DLC you can buy them _digitally_ and not have to take a trip to Walmart all the time.

[@blazerthedelphox]

The thing that Skylanders did right was that it wasn’t required to get more figures to beat the game. Those three that came in the box? That’s all you needed. Hell, you could toss out the two others and just play as one. Beat the game with only Gill Grunt? Hell yeah! The extra characters could unlock optional content, but it wasn’t necessary. Here, every. Single. Game. Has to have cards to finish the game. All the levels in one game? Cards. Entire fucking stories in another game? Cards. Finishing moves? Cards, cards, cards, cards! Edit: Also, with Skylanders, you can see what character you get before you buy!

[@luigi7834]

But Skylanders did fairly well as far as I know. Amiibos are still a thing

[@tompelati2488]

besides, skylanders was a pretty decent game

[@mechanomics2649]

Hilarious considering Nintendo has done exactly this.

[@JasperJanssen]

All the breath of the wild DLC unlocked by amiibo is a thing though. Even if you can now buy packs of NFC cards from Ali express that match the characteristics.

[@chaosdude2345]

I like how the Ben 10 game was Ghostfreak’s, Ripjaws’, and the classic versions of Upgrade, Stinkfly, and Grey Matter’s only console game appearance

[@ZoeytheLumeroctrainer]

Very sad and doesn't do those aliens any justice.

[@ZoeytheLumeroctrainer]

Poor Stinkfly classic, such a cool alien but never ever used in a good Ben 10 game

[@leroyvisiongames2294]

Imagine if you will a fighting game where input lag is measured in seconds.... ....so, Mortal Kombat 1 on the Game Boy?

[@TheBonkleFox]

oh god don't remind me.

[@viscountrainbows6452]

Anything on Google Stadia

[@MasterFallenHero]

I remember seeing this thing advertised as a kid and thinking it was definitely a cash grab and crap. I thought it was a plug n play honestly. Those were HUGE at the time. Color me surprised to find out otherwise today.

[@highadmiraljt5853]

Jedidiah Young Plug n play have better games and loading screens than this

[@Bro-cx2jc]

It would have done better as a plug n play

[@justanotheryoutubechannel]

I can’t help but love the intro to IWL, it’s so cheesy and dumb but it’s hilarious too and has personality.

[@gavinthecrafter]

Honestly it could've had a little bit of potential if it wasn't on such an awful console

[@Bro-cx2jc]

Digital Eclipse tried to revitalize the Hyperscan to some degree I guess. I wonder why they didn't just release Interstellar Wrestling League for a better system. Even a PC version back in 2006 would have done better.

[@iOFtheBEHOLD3R]

Potato Man saying he was the "Common Tater" for the wresting league... Ok that got me laughing

[@VeenciGaming]

I like just how offended Rerez is in every video

[@kevinvu5432]

I love it.

[@Pensive_Scarlet]

I want to start a fundraiser to make a short film where it's just Alfred Molina as Doc Ock standing in front of a museum and using his tentacles to reach in and grab various art pieces to toss into the street. We can have a stretch goal for getting scenes of Tobey's Spider-Man catching the art and gently setting it down.

[@MrBlitzpunk]

EA: "hmmm a very intriguing bussines model indeed"