Rome Total War Is A Perfectly Balanced Game With No Exploits

[@thespiffingbrit]

*I am sure the developers perfectly balanced the games auto resolve to factor in how weak peasants are relative to unit size...*

[@andrewphillips8341]

We aren't you saluting the King?

[@anonofanon]

For the Yorkshire Empire!!!

[@SaigesArstgo1031]

I love that you aren't saluting the king lol Things heating up in the british fandom

[@kendog3419]

Ngl didn't know this was uploaded 30 min ago thought it said 30 days XD

[@ctg4818]

A design choice (numbers > stats) that is in just about every single Total War game lol

[@danielhale1]

Spiff: They're affordable! Spiff: They're replaceable! Spiff: They're highly expendable! Me: I wish you wouldn't call me out like that

[@AcornFox]

easy just be landed gentry duh

[@_Ciosu..]

No

[@crissdace8358]

@@AcornFox i literally learned what a landed gentry was like a week ago I'm pretty sure I forgot but isn't that an insult ?

[@-NxPx-Phoenix]

@@crissdace8358 in british english anything can be insult if you say it right, you absolute kettle.

[@aaaaahhhhh9885]

​@@crissdace8358nah it's just the people who own land/nobles

[@PinataFreaks]

"You see, Killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them, until they reached their limit and shutdown. Kif, show them the medal I won." - Zapp Brannigan

[@springpurse]

"Some of you may die, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make"

[@aleksatanaskovic9172]

Does my memory serve me correctly, is that from BSG, the book?

[@PinataFreaks]

@@aleksatanaskovic9172 Futurama

[@Wheres_the_money_lebowski]

Think it was also Lord Farquad said it in Shrek as well.

[@PinataFreaks]

@@Wheres_the_money_lebowski No, Farquaad said "Some of you are going to die, but that's a sacrifice I am willing to make."

[@No.00000]

"An army of sheep led by a lion is better than an army of lions led by a sheep." ~ true brexit geezer

[@slvrshore5300]

so... based?

[@release_the_Diddy_list]

And correct. It’s bad for morale if the troops eat the General.

[@googiegress]

@@release_the_Diddy_list Well it's certainly not great for the general's morale.

[@XtreeM_FaiL]

@@release_the_Diddy_list are you sure? Italians seemed to do great after they killed Mussolini.

[@TheTyke]

Although the Romans actually stated that the average Briton farmer, let alone warrior was larger and stronger than the average legionary. And was trained in combat at a very young age regardless of their role in society. In terms of individual strength and talent, the Britons far surpassed the Romans. What the Romans did was use mass produced, uniform equipment and training, and political maneuvering (Divide and Conquer). As Tacitus (Agricola 21) said, the Romans could not defeat the Britons militarily, so they introduced them to convenience and vice, and their luxury became their slavery.

[@Yamato4002]

You clearly haven't seen the best offer the AI does in this game Our offers: Please don't attack us Their offers: Accept or we will attack

[@simey5639]

I think that's fixed in the remaster

[@Gingerninja800]

isn't that just a non aggression pact

[@leadpaintchips9461]

@@simey5639 Not fixed last I saw, plenty of screenshots of the remaster having it a bit after release.

[@DeadObserver]

It is such a good offer that even I as a true diplomat myself use it in some rare circumstances!

[@stevenwebb3475]

​@@leadpaintchips9461yeah but you can turn on the old diplomatic AI.

[@XtreeM_FaiL]

-What are your orders, sir? -Kill their strongest units and the rest will run away! -Sir! Enemy doesn't have any strong units. -Wait what?

[@nehcrum]

Well, as we saw, it did work, when they killed Spiffs general.

[@TheArklyte]

Spiff, destroying Roman Empire by using civilians with shivs: how oddly british... P.S.: I have a feeling that the "real" representation of battles would have been all roman legionaries being simply mugged in the night.

[@tturi2]

they'd get shived for their shoes

[@TheArklyte]

@@tturi2 "I just want some shoes"

[@topkek996]

Should have attacked a day after a football game when the grugs are all hungover

[@roxxdude1]

Let's go mug 'em!!!!!!

[@aaronbates4848]

@@roxxdude1 Hey! Gimme that gold or I'll mug ya!

[@johnjo6315]

Imagine being an elite soldier, trained only by the best and in an army of equally qualified and equally elite comrades and somehow you guys fight the average farmer armed with nothing but a rusted sword and the clothes on their back… and get absolutely manhandled

[@ashenmask5301]

Every "h" work featuring elves vs orcs/goblins

[@alexturnbackthearmy1907]

I mean...there are billons of them and only few of yours. You kill one and 1000 men take his place and rob you from all your weapon and armor.

[@sjs9698]

@@alexturnbackthearmy1907 iirc ther romans managed to win vs ~100-1 odds against the horde B. brought to try & retake britain & they weren't (all) peasants ^^

[@alexturnbackthearmy1907]

@@sjs9698 I meant game-wise. Its like a zerg horde, but with people, nightmare stuff.

[@XenoEagle]

@@alexturnbackthearmy1907 Agree, being trained should help, but that's the exact scenario of being good at self-defense. Say you can easily defend yourself vs someone with even a knife. But then, there are 5 of them. Well that's that. You died. Unless we talk about stuff like tanks vs cave-men, training won't make you invincible.

[@TheCulturedSwine]

Missed opportunity of naming the “Dude printer” that produces tons of peasants ; better name: Pez Dispenser

[@googiegress]

Just wonderful.

[@Rituraj-cp8qn]

The Pez Printer Or "The PP" in short

[@teo8279]

Gauls be like : " Accept our demand or we will attack " Their demands : " Please do not attack "

[@teebob21]

Never change, France, never change.

[@greywolf7577]

I think it makes sense. Basically it is saying "If you attack us, we will attack you back".

[@AlaricKerensky]

It is just a Peace Treaty with extra steps. Big stick diplomacy.

[@Poweraded]

He’s back with another amazing total war game never thought I’d live to see this again

[@gijsjanssen8965]

Why

[@IdentifiantE.S]

It's just so cool , it would have been criminal not to make another one.

[@incognitoman3656]

Total War: Crimes

[@trentparrish9401]

I was watching his older total war videos when this came out I thought I had a break from reality. I even reread the title thinking I was reading what I wanted to see or something. I found this channel three months ago and have been binging through all his videos and have liked every video and even bought a few of the games he’s showed as I found myself liking the game.

[@joshalmightyblades]

IF YOU DONT LIKE IT DONT WATCH IT! AS FOR US TEA DRINKERS, WE CANT WAIT!!!

[@vinne6837]

Ah, yes, the timeless tactic of throwing endless amounts of under supplied combatants at your enemy

[@hungrymusicwolf]

Usually a Russian specialty but today replicated by the Britons.

[@ravingcuriosity6345]

@@hungrymusicwolf hahaha I was about to say something like "Welcome to Russia" hahaha

[@aydenlegleiter7810]

@@ravingcuriosity6345 was about to type something to the effect of 'the russian technique'

[@Zeitgeist2000]

It worked in korea

[@Almond19912]

The Moscow special

[@budwyzer77]

Chariots were SUPER overpowered in Rome: Total War's autoresolve so your general unit probably did a lot of the heavy lifting. That's why Britain and Egypt always took over their sections of the map.

[@VoyageurCountry]

True but they were also hot trash that exploded at the sight of arrows and javelins

[@budwyzer77]

@@VoyageurCountry Not in autoresolve. In general chariots were pretty useless beyond scaring infantry and annihilating cavalry. Chariots mostly just knocked infantry down but cavalry lacked any means of getting back up.

[@nehcrum]

@@budwyzer77 Because Rome:Total War (and several other TW-titles since then) had a rock-paper-scissors approach, with spearmen countering cavalry etc. And chariots against spearmen, or even worse, chariots charging into the front of a phalanx, is just a quick slaughter. But the autoresolve just gives an arbitrary value to a unit, regardless of composition and counters. Hence, chariots are very powerful, in autoresolve, as counters don't count. Same thing here with the peasants. Experience levels up their melee attack and melee defence. But they have no shields and little armour, which aren't affected by experience, so the counter is ranged missiles, which will cut them down (the counter to ranged is shields), but again, those things don't count in autoresolve. And peasants, having the weakest stats, of course benefits the most from fixed bonuses.

[@An0niem4]

Not only in autoresolve. I've had some absolutely incredible wins with the chariot-phalanx combo de Seleucids bring. Only a military genius can win this battle? Bring it. How I would defeat hordes of peasants? Some outstretched units of cheap phalanxes stretched out to fully join together in a continuous line blocking off a corner (or a full hexagon somewhere on the map) and the chariots running around, inflicting casualties, causing panic and keeping moving. As long as Seleucid chariots are not bogged down, they're invulnerable to anything without spears. If your chariots get tired, withdraw behind the phalanxes to rest. Peasants simply do not have the weight/armor to push through even a thin line of pikemen. With no chance of attacking from the rear, they will not get through. With a heavy cavalry general, you could sacrifice the bodyguard to break through, but guess what, this doesn't work with chariots, they die on impact. Both the phalanx and chariot are only defeated if you make a mistake. If you pay attention, you can rout armies with them.

[@PreviewAvailable]

Yes, in retrospect, the chariot general was probably doing most of the work. They are completely obscenely overpowered and in VH/VH they are a menace that can solo your army. The minute his general died, everything fell apart.

[@sokandueler9578]

“17,000 people are about to discover what the definition of a war crime is” This had me rolling 😂😂

[@normalhuman9878]

Technically the Geneva Conventions didn’t exist yet

[@quintu5]

This makes me remember the days when I conquered half of Europe with my legendary "Belenus the Conqueror". This game makes you so much intrigued with your generals career.

[@jordanhooper1527]

Love this game, currently destroying the Romans as Britain. I managed to kill 1100 Romans with 6 heavy chariot units losing only 75men

[@jackhazardous4008]

75 man for one experienced kill? Now that's a trade deal!

[@resileaf9501]

Chariots are quite OP in Rome 1. Literally can chain rout an entire army in seconds.

[@ThePastaSawce]

*me crying in Latin*

[@antares4975]

@@ThePastaSawce mama mia?

[@ThePastaSawce]

@@antares4975 Mi Cannoli!

[@7rich79]

Who could have known that peasants and zerglings had so much in common?

[@I_am_inside_your_house]

Because they are the zerg swarm

[@whyjnot420]

Back when the original game first came out one day I decided to do a small reconnaissance in force with a group of 3 or 4 cavalry units (the lowest of the Roman ones, likely was Julii) and decided to autoresolve everything. It took something like 10 battles without any reinforcements before they were finally defeated. No named unit, no upgrades, only the experience gained from the battles themselves. Near the end something like 20 people were defeating armies of several hundreds.

[@Anomaly188]

@@user-sj9mj3bf2m In the tabletop scene they call that "Tarpitting." It's a useful tactic to bog down the opposing HQ (Hero) unit and his guard contingent with cheap blobs of fodder while you deal with other units.

[@nehcrum]

@@Anomaly188 As well as hammer-and-anvil tactics. Have a hard unit hold the enemy in place and then hit them in the back with something heavy.

[@richardfarrer5616]

If it worked for Boudicca in Colchester, I see no reason it wouldn't work for Spiff in Rome.

[@HideyoshiKinoshita84]

Massacre and genocide civilians only to get absolutely curbstomped when facing a prepared actual army?

[@Noble6Espeo]

I was about to make thi comment, you beat me too it and I tip my hat to ye

[@GoErikTheRed]

I think my favorite cheese campaign I did was as the Egyptians. No units, only generals. Egyptian chariots are a little OP in melee, but they also have the range and speed of horse archers, so you can kite indefinitely. I basically sent diplomats all over the world bribing generals then using said generals to take out entire enemy armies. With no army to maintain I was swimming in money

[@padmanabhanvaidyanathan7182]

Chariots in general were OP in Rome 1.

[@barrybend7189]

A strategy game should allow peasant units to be upgraded to speciallized units for a cheaper price. It would be an interesting mechanic.

[@mute1085]

Mount and Blade allows just that, although you also need them to get some experience first

[@googiegress]

Civ 4 does this. Presumably you'd have to pay the difference in cost and time between the two unit types in order to upgrade. Which means it isn't a way to get strong units cheaper, just a way to not let the value stored in early units go to waste.

[@countinwermsuwu]

Battle for Wesnoth has that, definitely worth checking out

[@DrexSux]

@@mute1085I was about to say… Bannerlord much?

[@ShinForgotPassxXx]

WoC have this mechanic in WH3. IT is pretty great.

[@pyrrhusofepirus8491]

One thing that I remember that is broken in Rome Total War, and I don’t know if they’ve changed it, is how experience works. With every experience point, they gain 1 attack point. That means a fully experienced unit has *9 more attack* then a inexperienced unit. It was amazing seeing what it’d do with Praetorians.

[@MrDwarfpitcher]

There are other bonuses. It increases defensive skill and morale. Ranged units are also slightly more accurate in direct fire

[@sillypuppy5940]

I loved the first couple of playthroughs - but then it dawned on me how crap the AI is.

[@GiliGulu1969]

From what I remember you could have one full unit of max experience units, 3 gold stripes, and use them to bring a series of other units with lower or no experience back up to full strength, and give each unit a large experience boost. Then bring the crak troops back up to full strength.

[@RaDeus87]

I guess they changed the population thing due to the population-moving feature: recruit dirt-cheap pop-heavy units in one town, and then disband them in a city you want to grow. It's really useful early on, when you can power-level your new cities with just a few units of peasants (like Segesta and/or Patavium if you play Julii) from your main settlements. Late game it's more useful to let a city rebel just so you can enslave them. It really keeps the squalor down 👍

[@korub1]

Idk why they changed this tbh. It’s not like it’s ahistorical for there to be mass migrations, and balance-wise it feels more like a strategy game micromanagement tool than an exploit

[@LordVader1094]

I love when games take away mechanics and options from me instead of adding more :)

[@czarkusa2018]

They CHANGED the POPULATION SYSTEM? Is there ANYTHING Creative Assembly won't intentionally destroy just to spite long time fans of older games?

[@KassOtheKing]

It’s optional

[@RaDeus87]

@@KassOtheKing I haven't played the remake, so this is good to know. I was kinda surprised that it wasn't a thing in TW-Warhammer.

[@smokinggnu6584]

I remember wayyy back in the day playing the original version of this game. Had a city that revolted and the rebel army that occupied it was a full stack of peasants. Except the peasants had full experience (9 tiers) and full weapons and armour (gold for both). I attacked it with my best army in range of roman heavy infantry, laid siege... and my legionnaires got absolutely slaughtered on the walls as they climbed up the siege towers by all these peasants. Total war games, man.

[@Hellscream_9999]

Spiff: "...the German AI is just truly fantastic..." Me: remembering that time the German AI bought a lump of coal from the Brit for 100 gold Me: yup, that checks out.

[@tempusavatar]

Thanks for the video. I met a Brit this week, and I asked about Yorkshire Tea; they reprimanded me and correctly opined that Yorkshire Gold is the Superior product.

[@Tahulrik]

In the original game i once had the brilliant German ai send a diplomat with the terms of something along the lines of 'recieve 23 denarii, accept or we will attack' A truly outstanding move !

[@KeljuIvan]

It was probably some kind of money laundering operation.

[@steemlenn8797]

I prefer the cases were they declare war on you and one turn later pay you money for peace. Several times in a row.

[@Orncaex]

Omfg I lost it when i saw the peasants flooding out of the gates and the AI instantly started panicking XD This is perhaps the most realistic response I've ever seen from an AI

[@pocpic]

"Cheekily enslaving" is the classic British modus operandi of occupation.

[@paulmaddison6193]

'First we deal with the French'. As any distinguished British chap naturally would. Good show old bean! 🧐

[@lewiscoe4941]

Ah the Bude tunnel, I didn't realise this iconic landmark in my hometown was so famous!

[@davidtitanium22]

a timeless classic, i've sunk hundreds of hours into this game in middle school

[@heavyarms55]

"What if the zombie apocalypse happened during the Roman era and what if the zombies had leadership" - What this video really is.

[@abs_nobody]

I see that spiff is applying ancient (and more recent) continental tactics of "throw more people than weapons at the enemy"

[@gso619]

One peasant doesn't do diddly. 5000 peasants, though? That's a whole lot of diddly.

[@ctg4818]

Back when every single faction wasn't a $20-30 DLC. The good days.

[@release_the_Diddy_list]

I get drip feeding new content. It makes sense and when done correctly keep a game alive for years more than normal. Of course, smart companies don’t overcharge just because they can. That’s begging for some upstart to knock them out. Paradox will learn when they need to learn it.

[@FuhqEwe]

Facts. It’s appalling that they would create the finished product, then deliberately remove content from it and try to sell it to you for more. It was _not_ add-on content that they made after the fact. That’d be like paying full price for a pizza only to discover 4 slices are missing. When you ask, they say you can have it for an additional charge. Hell, these scumbags even want to charge for the option to turn on blood. That used to be a regular option you could toggle. What will they try next? An additional fee if you want to play in a resolution above 720?

[@e33d90]

@@release_the_Diddy_listgood games survived without drip feeding bullshit, bad games need to drip feed to keep the sheeple on their dopamine high

[@OpreRoma]

As a resident of Croydon I'd say we are naturally proficient in the use of sharp melee objects

[@n.henzler50]

"Give everyone a stick and throw them into the grinder" is somehow the most British thing you've ever done.

[@LordWyatt]

I saw an unfinished challenge where someone tried to overwhelm/route enemy armies with (Egyptian) peasants only and it was awesome. I’m glad you’re doing a very similar challenge😎👌

[@totalwar1793]

Yeah, Legend of Total War lmao

[@FuhqEwe]

You didn’t think he came up with his video ideas on his own did you? They’re just recreations of ideas and videos from years ago.

[@FlashMan16NG]

"Salute the Union Jack Flag." He knows what he's doing, he knows that line will deliberately annoy a lot of pedantic people out there. Allow me to sit back with my cuppa and watch them get annoyed.

[@matthill5426]

Spiff should set his capital city in Somerset, England. Clearly, high quality British cheese is the fuel for his empire-building engine. Meanwhile, only Yorkshire Gold tea can grease the cogs of total Imperial hegemony! Tea & cheddar cheese, that's the key. And the occasional cucumber sandwiches. Cucumbers are the pistons in this engine of military and economic domination. :)

[@Azazelium.]

i love u spiffing brit

[@allenhollstein8820]

So to summarize, as you said being attacked by a peasant is like having a soft breeze being blown in your general direction. So then it stands to reason that being attacked by ALLLLLL the peasants is like being struck by a hurricane. Well done my good man.

[@embreis2257]

15:04 *...but I'm afraid our commander is just too good.' duh, because it wasn't Belenus commanding the British peasants but _The Spiffing Brit_ himself. poor Segovax didn't stand a chance.

[@AlliedX]

It feels as though he's still uploading 😥 R.I.P. The Spiffing Brit 1283 - 2023 You will be missed

[@thespiffingbrit]

Cant Believe I died

[@Black-iv1rl]

R.I.P he lived a long life

[@SaigesArstgo1031]

R.I.P. Cant believe he died SMH my head

[@release_the_Diddy_list]

RIP. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter

[@googiegress]

@@release_the_Diddy_list ~spread~

[@dannys6871]

The Spiffing Brit: "Free Fousand men" also The Spiffing Brit: "FLaxmen instead of FAlxmen"

[@notmenotme614]

Me: “I never knew flax was so dangerous?”

[@Edzward]

If it is Spiff asking me, I have my doubts in who would win, a Giant Death Robot, or a Peasant armed with a pitchfork... 😂

[@nehcrum]

Easy. The giant death robot. But the question, who would win between a giant death robot and an unlimited number of peasants, armed or unarmed. It's all about numbers. The robot may have higher stats, but quantity is a quality in itself.

[@willh2690]

As an unwashed barbarian who grew up on the streets of Croydon I feel both insulted and flattered by this video.

[@wispyartist7953]

“An army of sheep led by a lion is better than an army of lions led by a sheep.” ― Alexander the Great

[@sjs9698]

yes but also no: see the british army, for most of our empire's history it was 'lions led by donkeys'.

[@Dong_Harvey]

"I think my horse is gay." -- Alexander the Great

[@bobbobberson1923]

I know where my bet is on this fight

[@questionmaker5666]

@@sjs9698 The Duke of Marlborough, Duke of Wellington, General James Wolfe, and others would disagree. Even then the donkeys were often brave.

[@Doc_Tar]

Watching this game get the heck exploited out of it reminds me of how much enjoyed playing "Rome Total War" back in the day. Hail, Emperor Spiff.

[@marvomaniac318]

I still fondly remember a playthrough as the Seleucids back in the day in the original in which I'd just buy off every city and enemy army. Conquered the entire map without ever fighting a single battle. :D

[@dread8841]

You don't need to fight if you are rich

[@KatyaAbc575]

@@dread8841 Just like in real life, lol.

[@jacobgebhart7550]

As a Rome fanboy I have to say. You said Julius Caesar underestimated Britain but he was the first commander to navally invade Britain until the vikings almost 1,000 years later. If any side underestimated the other it was the Britions with Rome. When Caesar came with his nearly full army and navy the Britions didn't even attempt to to stop him. Instead they waited until he landed and fought him on land in pitched battles where he had a greater advantage. The first real military invasion of Britian saw Caesar successfully invading and setting up a client state until Claudius invaded, controlled, and centralized Britain 100 years later.

[@jacobgebhart7550]

@essaadeel3676 The Anglo-Saxons didn't invade Britain until after the Western Roman Empire collapsed and the Goths and Vandals were migrating in Europe in the mid-to-late 400's AD. The Roman's had already occupied and settled in Britian for 400 years at that point.

[@azearaazymoto461]

24:21 "17000 people are about to learn what the definition of a warcrime is. Wabam." ~ The Spiffing Brit 2023 This is the most beautiful quote I've ever seen.

[@notmenotme614]

“The single worst unit, it’s cheap, has no statistics, it has no power, no morale and it is terrible” Today I learnt that I am an English Peasant in real life 🙋‍♂️

[@DudeMcGuybro]

It's true, I wasn't born, I was printed at a Spiffing Brit spawn point.

[@MrSkysenGames]

Enemy: "We have highly trained warriors, archers, horsemen, and strong fortifications." Spiff: "I have peasants." Enemy: "...What are your demands?"

[@-BTE-]

When my brother told about a man who preached tea and exploited games, I couldn't believe it as I didn't believe tea was that good. But the Spiffing Brit opened my eyes to the way of tea. No he did not threaten my family with tea for this I totally wrote this with my own free will. Praise the tea.

[@scobra5941]

Have you tied the scones, old boy?

[@Soccer_lover986]

Holy crap, I thought this was an old video for a second. I’m glad you are back to total war!

[@Hyper_Fox06]

When Spiff said "because the British like things challenging" i thought he was gonna make a crack about British food. 😂

[@Hyper_Fox06]

@@Mickyway I've seen stationed in England, they do have some nice food, I was just making a joke. While I don't understand beans on toast it's still pretty good

[@Yodelingviking]

Salute the Union Jack hanging above my desk? So even Spiff doesn't want to salute the King.

[@MooshroomBrosGaming]

10/10 historically accurate peasant uprising!!!

[@EyesofOd]

So wait, they changed the population mechanic for the remaster? I was thinking of picking this up, but one of my favourite things was to recruit peasants from overpopulated places and ship them to underpopulated ones I wanted to turn into megacities, and disband them to add to the population. Is that not possible anymore?

[@patnor7354]

Hey, the "give us money or we will attack" worked quite well for the vikings against the brits ;)

[@callum105]

"gimme all your gold or i'll mug ya"

[@davidaward82]

you see spiff, the issue was, you had your blacksmiths and armourers making weapons, and your weaponsmiths making armour. luckily the weaponsmiths put the pointy bits on the outside.

[@Balsiefen]

10:40 Damn, Spiff doesn't fall for Danegeld-strats. Britain could've used him in the 700s AD

[@Dragoon-zs8vm]

Its a good day when Spiff uploads.

[@efnick96]

As a Greek, I am glad that Persians followed a similar strategy to conquer Greece, but thankfully they didn't have the auto resolve button

[@Kurigo]

4:38 Lets fight the French, oooh this is getting juicy now he is about to invade Northren Germany/Netherlands, sees he is attacking the Ghauls... Well closer to Rome that is !

[@mtndewfan66]

3:54 so you need a blacksmith to make weapons and a weaponsmith to make armor? It just makes sense

[@irrelevant_noob]

Eh, from the description, they both increase both weapon and armour, but WS being the 2nd it therefore makes "better armour". 🤓

[@jarrodbright5231]

"Sir the peasants are revolting!" "It's worse than that... they're British!"

[@ppunion]

To be fair. A pointy stick is pretty damn good. And if that stick gets a pointy metal part it just becomes so absolute badass.

[@JimmyMFP]

Easily my favourite diplomacy experience with the Germania AI: Offer: Accept or we will attack Demand: Please do not attack

[@Mornech10]

Boudica--- "With this huge army of peasants I'll beat the Roman's out of here!" General Suetonius--- "No..... you won't."

[@TheBlasphemite]

war in a nutshell: gather as much people as possible and say the right things so they charge headfirst into the enemy.

[@neilbrideau8520]

Having played way too much Rome TW I finally understand what happened when I lost autoresolve battles against my high level Roman units. That is like a 20 year old mystery resolved.

[@mfrfauzirahman]

"You no farm, you go war." - The faction leader to every single peasant, probably

[@peregrinemiles7936]

Wait, I thought that disbanding units gave you a population bump. Can you create population out of thin air???

[@MartynWilkinson45]

The remaster doesn't do that by default. There is an option to toggle that on, though. It kind of gimps the ai, poor thing can really figure out population management.

[@resileaf9501]

@@MartynWilkinson45 The thing is that the population mechanic was balanced around units being of medium size, with large and ultra (and extreme in the remastered) being capable of emptying cities way too quickly, leaving you with no ability to train units anymore. Using the balanced option, population will be reduced by the same amount that they would be in medium size, ensuring that you don't make all your cities ghost towns that never grow.

[@googiegress]

@@resileaf9501 It feels like that should be an option that the player must manage; it's the classic balancing act between investing in economy vs. military. If you make the decision to ghost-town a city, it's probably a mistake, but the player might need to do that. The farmer cannot eat the seed he plans to sow.

[@resileaf9501]

@@googiegress That *is* an option. You can make the population taken from your cities equal to the number of soldiers they took if you want.

[@Dorsidwarf]

@@googiegress this is fair, but it was kinda ridiculous how in tw Rome 1 your graphics option (how many men to display as being in a unit) affected the game balance so drastically

[@waterflowzz5306]

I swear to god, as you said to take a sip of my tea, I was already holding a cup of it to my lips, then I saluted the British flag standing on its pole directly next to my desk. This felt targeted, i’m home

[@theenglishknight1520]

Most total war players: No some untrained civillians with pointy sticks shouldn't be able to conquer rome! Spiffing brit: Watch me

[@nehcrum]

Most total war players: Those unarmored, unshielded peasants will be slaughtered by missiles. Spiffing brit: Autoresolve doesn't care.

[@jazzingpanda3190]

I feel like this is an alternate history where the Celts (Welsh, Cornish and Bretons) succeeded in repelling the Romans. Kinda crazy that the Anglo Saxons (Germans, later becoming “english”) essentially got gifted the land after the dismemberment of the Celtic nation by the Romans. This video literally plays out the timeline that should have been. A true Celtic nation together under one flag ruling over the british isles.

[@BARMY1995-d2x]

Have you ever tried placing phalanx's in a box formation and blocking off any gaps in between them. They're basically untouchable and you can wipe out whole stacked armies with just 4/5 units...

[@bl4cksp1d3r]

Phalanx in town defense, block every street to the townsquare with two phalanx units in a inside v, easiest defense ever

[@RootBeerRundown]

I used to do this all the time 😂

[@waylander9265]

One phalanx(except militia) at the end of a bridge will break anything that doesn’t have ranged attacks or elephants.

[@bl4cksp1d3r]

@@waylander9265 stacked phalanxes were insane aswell. Just filling every square metre with four men

[@steemlenn8797]

I once fought off two roman legionaries and kav stacks with 5 militia or forced phalaxes or whatever they are named. Just put the spearwall around the corner they move, so that kav cannot charge through but is still faster than normal, so get the return piercing and second line tickles.

[@alexhamilton3522]

Greatest battle I had was a valiant defeat as The Greek City States. I hired some mercenaries and they were holding down syracuse. I was besieged by an army of 2800 and my small army dwindled down to 50 phalanxmen, and 180 cretan archers. I shot down 2,300 of their men by cheesing the hell out of the mechanics. I was able to destroy their seige tower and battering ram with my archers before they could do much else. The enemy line went back, just out of range of my ballistas. Then I charged my forces out and they came charged towards me, so I brought my valiant men back in my walls. My ballistas rained hellfire down on them. Then the enemy ran out of range again, and so I charged my men back outside the walls. Then the enemy charged me and I ran back inside the walls. I did this over and over and over again before all my men decided to route.

[@ianking7511]

I remember playing this back in the day, and noticing that the germanic peasant unit is actually a phalanx. Phalanxes in RTW are more or less completely unkillable from the front, so there was much fun to be had playing a german campaign and just making big spiky peasant squares for enemy armies to break themselves on.

[@archiebellega956]

Pretty sure it's greek, and it's their equivalent of town watch (2nd weakest unit after peasant). Yeah that thing is defensive powerhouses. In some run you can defend syracuse early on even though beginner guide rightfully told you to give up syracuse and rebuild from mainland greece.

[@ianking7511]

@@archiebellega956 After a little searching I've come to the conclusion that the german spears were removed from the game at some point, probably because they were entirely, hilariously broken vs ai. There are a few ancient references on various forums, circa 2004. Alternatively, I may be misremembering Attila.

[@be12]

@@ianking7511 The German warband (what you get from the base tier muster field - ie what would be town watch for the Romans) is a phalanx unit, and as dangerous if not more than the Greek Hoplite.

[@svovy5358]

You're just role-playing as the Russian Army, sending wave after wave of your own men until the enemy runs out of ammunition

[@elijahoconnell]

my khergit strategy in warband is essentially zerg (zhergit lol) peasant forces primarily being khergits and specialized garrisons worth of a full partys worth of x type of unit scattered around the map. this would allow me to grab a chunk of trained soldiers to replinish any forces with or to save on travel speed but still grow larger and have a large defense in my cities

[@oscarxkee7921]

He's gone from saluting the portrait of the Queen to saluting the Union Jack 👀

[@dairoleon2682]

Rome: Heart of the Swarm is certainly one of the games of all time.

[@aledusty1493]

The British peasant gave Rome the Carthage treatment.

[@OneJazzyBoye]

Bro is playing as the Skaven in RTW.

[@leftyfourguns]

Peasants: can’t live with them, can live without them

[@kaltaron1284]

I love how even Spiff won't ask us to salute King Charles. I mean I would for the second maybe even the first but the third... not so much. Nice to see that they kept the ridiculous auto-resolve strenth of peasants. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

[@Killymcgee23]

Spiff you cad, you almost had me saluting to an imaginary Union Jack Unfortunately I’m a big fenian and have an Irish flag up there- I did make an English breakfast tea as a compromise though

[@jackhazardous4008]

Luv me pub, luv me 'ooligans, 'ate the romans, simple as.

[@Jadriam]

"Some of you may die, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

[@maxmach4361]

You want to impress me? Win RTW while using only Eastern Infantry.. and you are not allowed to let it route.

[@robertmiles1603]

the peasant was indeed the strongest part of a medieval army. because of the levy system he formed the bulk of the infantry. in fact thanks to his industry and importance one could argue that without him civilization itself never could have existed

[@MonsterCC]

HECK YES! More Spiff and Rome, making a cup of gold for this one!

[@oceanbytez847]

i like how the general was the sole redeeming part of his force and the moment he died the peasants went to being the worst possible shit they were supposed to be. thankfully spiff still had enough peasants to brute force the following battles, but it is pretty clear that unless he replaced that general he would have lost the game to other attacking factions as he no longer had a sustainable war model.

[@RaDeus87]

I always liked rolling around with a Roman generals and a big heaping army of Barbarian mercenaries, basically reskinned warbands. It was about as fun as using war dogs to kill rebels on the Italian peninsula 😂 Edit: Pure-Yolo gameplay at its finest 👍

[@jayyrod1]

"Spartans, what is your profession!?" "Chad Peasants!!"