r/AmITheA**hole For Kicking My Entitled Mom Out Of My Home?

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP's mom moves into OP's house. OP's mom immediately starts criticizing her about what she wears around the house, and just starts hounding her every single day about completely meaningless things. She pushes OP to her breaking point, so OP snaps and kicks her mother out of her own home. Was OP justified, or should she have bit her tongue and continued to endure the harassment? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments!
🍑 r/AmITheA**hole For Refusing To Give A Karen My Baby? • r/AmITheA**hole For Re...
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"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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[@ryand4474]

I was literally sitting here like a KZbin junkie,hitting refresh over and over, just so I could watch an rSlash post before I start work

[@_eggcelentt]

lol epic

[@reneejaeger4196]

lmaoo me everyday

[@acviac4380]

I’m not the only one?

[@_eggcelentt]

i do that all the time

[@theabigator500]

Same for me but it's always when I usually go to bed

[@sarahheck9831]

In what world is lying about a close friend having a serious car accident a "little white lie"?!?!

[@mitsusah2612]

In the world inside self-centered people's minds. 'Cause who cares if they spread worry for no reason or ruin their sister's reputation at her job? Getting to go out for drinks is absolutely more important!🙃

[@yungfirefly]

To a psycho, that's a 'little white lie'.

[@KiraMermaid]

And disappeared for 2 days! You don't pull that one anyone!

[@kmechwarrior1684]

@@KiraMermaid Call CPS at that point....

[@MLWJ1993]

Don't think you can call it a close friend if you go about friendship that way... 😆

[@bellerain381]

“Parenting is so stressful and difficult”....I hate that excuse!! Did those parents actually think that parenting offers time outs??

[@horseheadlegman414]

You know what I feel like some could make money off of taking care of kids when parents what do other stuff without them could probably make some decent money

[@thewizardoz3917]

TrueeHydra that us called babysitting. Rates aren’t that good. You could mean being a nanny. Rates still aren’t that good.

[@mitsusah2612]

Yeah, like, parenting is difficult, but no one forced you to become a parent. You chose to become one, now do your job. Plus using that on a childfree friend or relative is disgusting to me. Like the "You don't have children, so you have to help us. Parenting is super hard and that's why we deserve to dump our child onto you to go drink." Childfree people are often childfree for a reason and had no part to play in the creation of your child, so why do you assume them to somehow be obligated to help you?

[@KelsSus]

I'm a mom and if im going out my child is always with me. That excuse is people wanting to be lazy

[@SteviiLove]

Seriously! As a parent, we work full time without being paid. There are no sick days and if we desperately need a break, we hire a sitter if family doesn't want to babysit. Your children are your responsibility, nobody else. My SIL and BIL are those kind of people that expect everyone else to care for their 3 kids without pay while I have 1 kid and the only time anyone else watches him is when his grandparents ask to have him spend the night. I would feel like a failure if I was always pawning my kid off to other people.

[@emospacequeen8073]

For the roommate being labeled as “creepy”: here’s the thing, I’m all for doing what you can to make someone with PTSD comfortable. It shows compassion and it’s very much appreciated from people who suffer from PTSD. However, it’s also up to the person with PTSD to do the work it takes to get to a place of “normalcy” (it’s never “normal” again, but you know what I mean). You can’t expect the entire world to cater to every single thing that might trigger you. One of my triggers is hearing lawn sprinklers go off. I can’t tell my family or neighbors “hey, that’s a sound trigger for my trauma. Can you just not water the lawn?”. I’ve had to work my ass off for 5 years to get back to being able to be around people alone. It’s not easy to do, but it’s possible and it takes responsibility for your health.

[@joanneking170]

I feel you. I lived with someone who had extreme anxiety and I ended up moving out (it was work accomodation). We ended up with house rules to make her feel happier in the house (happy to follow) and her rules were to help up round the house more. But she never did and she never tried to be a good person. She was lazy, dirty, mean and disrespectful. I got to the end of my tether and moved out to a much bigger flat. So yeah I get where you're coming from. When you live with someone it works both ways.

[@kervinsantos5808]

Ive seen this post and even shared it. It's just a weird a story, OP mentions in the comments how his shower broke and has to use the guest one and the gf got mad at that. People can't seen to make any sense but the one that actually makes somewhat sense is that the roommate told his gf that he was moving out early but he needs him still to pay rent. That one make no sense since his gf has a job but doesn't pay rent

[@MLWJ1993]

It's good to hear you're doing okay & that you think the way you do. Hopefully you'll be able to go further down your path of a healthy recovery as far as possible. It's always nice to see people that have had difficult times in the past still thinking rationally & learning to stand on their own legs again (sometimes with *reasonable* help from others). I wish you all the best & hope more people see it the way you do, that'd probably help them more.

[@ihateyouall4641]

The friend just didn’t told her gf that he has a roommate n he is trying to make him look like a villain.

[@howiecatslab4684]

I agree my father (RIP) had to do this and it took him nearly 10-15 years to get to even a normal-esque state. He also knew the whole world couldn’t cater to him and his triggers. So yah if you want help with this kind of thing you need to make an effort to get it. Even though it’ll be incredibly difficult at first.

[@Link-jw6fb]

The welsh story has an update with a happy ending where the dude sat down with his wife and they talked, and now he’s taking welsh lessons.

[@CidVeldoril]

Good. Especially with how the welsh got treated by the english in the past this story was painful.

[@DianaWanMa]

Love your pic 💜

[@somebody6777]

@@CidVeldoril I find it rude I am mixed and both parents are idoits here my parents are from very but very different culture (I am not english or welsh so I don't know about the mess between those two groups) now My parents choose to respect eachother my mom haven't learned russian for my dad nor he learned arabic for her. They want eachother to celebrate their culture however,at home we are being respectful Only speak languages we all know and understand Our names are meaningful to both of them as individuals they always told me that race or ethnicity means nothing and people are people and I have two cultures (yay for me) for food we do what they feel right to feed us and it had nothing to do with their culture. mixed families is about respect (also very russian and arabic thing😅) so if it is going to be a culture war Don't have kids or marry someone different 😅

[@CidVeldoril]

@@somebody6777 Russian and Arabic are not in any way endangered as languages though. The English tried to actively destroy welsh culture for centuries.

[@samsmith4242]

@@CidVeldoril Ah…not really. Welsh wasn’t actively suppressed until the creation of the welsh not sign, and that wasn’t an officially enforced policy. English was just more valuable as the language of business and government across a quarter of the planet. So, it got prioritised. The signs themselves would also have originally required parents consent when they started. Before that, Welsh experienced a great deal of literally use, expansion and culture. Even more so after the Welsh tudors took the throne Wales just forgot to be Welsh at the height of Britishness in the 1800s. Good on you for rediscovering it, but between all the castles wars and Englishmen and Welsh warriors killed in wales over the title prince of wales centuries before the tudors came to power. The Welsh language was one thing that was actually normally spared until very recently. Besides, the medieval English actually viewed the Welsh enemy with a lot of respect. Master of the Guerrilla warfare. The longbow men at Agincourt. Despite wales being buried in the kingdom of England, the Welsh didn’t die and stayed prominent for centuries

[@poisonedkilljoy9304]

With that “announcing” an engagement at the wedding one, I disagree. Keeping it on the dl would be “don’t go around bragging about it”but who on Earth would ask someone to take off their engagement ring because they’re attending a wedding? We don’t know if OP was excitedly gushing about it being recent (at which point, OP is definitely TA), but if they were like “yeah, we got engaged relatively recently” and moving on, then that’s not bad. Weddings do involve a level of catching up with people you haven’t seen in a while, and if there’s something new like that, people are gonna ask. For all we know, OP could have agreed to their idea of keeping it on the down low, and there just be a miscommunication and a refusal to accept that as a possibility.

[@scottjones7469]

I completely agree. Based on the story, OP only told people when they asked her which is along the lines of saying I won’t bring it up but I won’t lie if someone asks. Also she didn’t say that she disapproved of the wedding because of her sisters age like rslash said but that she was marrying a man that she only had be dating for a year. In my opinion, OP was completely in the right

[@slytherindork8459]

I agree with both of you. You can’t have someone keep their engagement a secret and it’s ok to say “yeah we got engaged” if someone asks. Op looks like they’re in the clear

[@mrgaarus1278]

Yeah rslash is way of base in almost every way here she said keep it on the downlow not lie to everyone who asks and she never mentioned her age but how long they were togalether and that is a valid critique

[@MulletDestructur]

100%. Keeping it on the DL is EXACTLY like they described. Don’t make any announcements about it, but if someone asks about it it’s cool to tell them.

[@callumWillmer-ko6hg]

Op was saying that her Twin Sister was getting married too young, when they themselves are engaged. It's clear they don't like their sister

[@MsNoPixel]

The father in the canceled marriage story is NOT the asshole at all, he was just looking out for his daughter & honestly did the right thing.

[@moonlighthunter5421]

People who believe that women belong at home taking care of the children belong back in the 1800’s

[@KING_LIRI1]

@@moonlighthunter5421 Even the 1800's isn't enough.

[@JKrowlingrockx]

Absolutely agree that OP is not the asshole. When the family asked to speak with the father after the engagement, I was half expecting something like them asking him to help them with a special/secret part of the wedding, (like something that they would want to surprise the bride with during the ceremony. ie. my mom sang my dad a song during their ceremony, and he had no idea), or maybe talking about paying for part of the wedding or something. But asking for a dowry...that is so out of left field, I was actually shocked. Like...what year is it? Who asks for a dowry in 2020? I 100% agree that a demand like that is unreasonable, and the daughter ABSOLUTELY needed to know what she was getting into. And the family blaming the dad for the daughter breaking off the engagement is extra gross, because why would they assume it was the daughter's choice to break off the marriage when "marriage is the best thing for women, and she needs to have children to be happy" and blah blah blah. It is seriously sad to think that people still have this view of women and marriage. Yes, marriage should be the union of two people who really love each other and want to be together. BUT that does not take away either person's ability to be independent and have their own life. If the daughter wanted to have a job outside the home, that's her choice, especially if that was her dream job. I myself am happily in a relationship, but also working my tail off in college to get a degree so I can work my dream job. And my future hubby is all for it (partly because he didn't finish college and I'll make more with my job and be the breadwinner lol). Went off on a tangent, sorry.

[@MsNoPixel]

Moonlight Hunter more like belong on a different planet.

[@MsNoPixel]

JKrowlingrockx hey don’t be sorry for going off, I’m typically the same way, usually my comments are VERY long & rant like lol

[@lisakaz35]

Yep: nailed it in that last story saying OP was being held "responsible" for his daughter. Indeed, they expected the father to overrule the daughter and force her to marry and become a SAH woman (wife or mom). They had zero interest in what the girl thought. It was to them only Daddy's opinion that counted. The daughter dodged a HUGE bullet. Domestic violence reeks all over that family imo.

[@AceMoonshot]

Agreed. They assumed the father makes decisions for his daughter solely because he is male. Agreed also a bullet was dodged. But while domestic violence might not be an issue, being treated like servant cattle is a form of abuse imo.

[@streamerssaymyname]

It sounds like OP is from a country where this sort of thing happens, I can't imagine a white bread American/English family knowing what a dowry is or how to demand it for "accepting" OPs daughter. Unfortunately many cultures still see wives as people to be told what to be and take master degree holding women and make them into house maids for the inlaws.

[@Waltbe09]

After looking at what a Dowry is. I learnt two things about this: 1) India is the probable set location of the event. 2) it’s a transfer of parental properties, gifts and money of the daughter during the marriage. From what my mind can infer, the sexist family wanted OP to give her daughter away like if he was giving the family their car. OP and his daughter not only dodged a round of machine gun fire, they avoided hell on Earth. If you watched rSlashes ask reddit video on marriages that ended early and the parts where the husband literally did a 180 at the wedding, OP had saved his daughter from that and an abusive marriage.

[@SailorMya]

@@AceMoonshot I agree it might not become physical but abuse comes in many shapes... Feeling like you are less then your significant other will eventually wear you down till you truly believe it yourself...

[@streamerssaymyname]

@@Waltbe09 there are families that DO ask for cars as dowry!

[@SpartanPrimeDSTY117]

"no man will ever want an exhibitionist" ~ A mother that is from a different planet.

[@JinxPropaganda]

And the fact that she’s a lesbian and has no interest in men as well. Like she doesn’t care if men don’t want her cause girls do

[@leinaluo9763]

How is it a „healthy marriage“, when she’d literally have to give up on being herself for it?!? The audacity of some people 🤦🏼‍♀️ the daughter should cut those „friends“ off as well!

[@sophiatroanska1432]

Right? How is it healthy being tricked into a relationship that would force her to stay at home and be a mother? Using the word “tricked” because obviously her boyfriend kept up the facade that she would pursue her dreams, and kept his intentions secret, to the point of telling the father to not inform her of his secret plans.

[@JinxPropaganda]

IKR healthy marriage my ass

[@OKTANE0]

The only time I can see sleeping naked being bad in some situation is if someone breaks into your house and you’re trying to get out of the house fast, but even then, the embarrassment of being naked in the streets in the middle of the night, is nothing compared to the joy of escaping a possible murderer

[@kingteddieP4]

In that situation I’m just gonna look at whatever cop has the balls to arrest me for being naked and start laughing “dude I could’ve died idc if I’m naked rn!”

[@holynarwhale8729]

In that Welsh story, when he said it's not as bad as it sounds. I said out loud to myself "yes it is."

[@ItBePatYo]

Same, tbh. I also rolled my eyes.

[@Alteusgirl]

you know it's gonna be bad when someone says "it's not as bad as it sounds"

[@lilwartank1]

At the very least there is an update to the story where he admits that he was being too much and was just kind of feeling bad about not being able to see family or speak with more of the england side and his wife agreed and said she was doing it a bit more to get him on board and after talking he started learning welsh with his daughter so it ended up being a happy ending altogether

[@killer88979]

Sunilda ArkEl or “I know it sounds bad but hear me out”

[@holynarwhale8729]

@@lilwartank1 That's good

[@prarthananirmalkumar6407]

Rslash AmItheA**hole for kicking a Karen out of my house? "*Sips Tea*" Ah yes a classic

[@Henry205]

AmItheAsshole for not kicking a Karen out of my house? Then yes

[@ShamHGrateful]

Yass

[@ReigoVassal]

Ah yes. Just another uneventful Tuesday

[@Nerobyrne]

Imagine going into someone else's room to berate them on how they sleep.... Like, WTF? That's realy creepy, not to mention potentially illegal.

[@Michael.T.Smith.]

I never knew that Ronald McDonald drank tea and watched reddit, but I think I might go to McDonald’s more often now.

[@GIANT406]

My Fiancé is staying with my mom for work purposes. One day, we were in her room with the door closed. My Fiancé was changing and I was trying to help her find something she’d like. My mom knocks on the door and asks “Are y’all naked?” I say “I’m not. She is.” My mom, thinking I’m joking, opens the door. My fiancé freaks and tries to cover up. My mom, embarrassed, shuts the door. When we walk out, she apologizes and we laugh it off. This is how it should be among adults. Even though she’s my mom, she respects my and my fiancé’s privacy. Your mom going out of her way to make snide comments about what you do in private is just disrespectful.

[@kimtinte84]

One of my Xs mom walked in on us...she bitched at him for sleeping in nude with his gf while she was living with us. I got up full butt ass naked in front of her. She never said anything again

[@TheMymimi100]

Last OP: you protected you daughter, everything done right. They probably just wanted money from you.

[@BIGBLOCK5022006]

And a slave.

[@bland9876]

If someone came up to you at the wedding and said while conversations said "I didn't know that you were married?" What do you say back? "No I'm just engaged" sounds like the appropriate response to me.

[@Fanboy675]

A little background from a Welshman about the reason for our nationalism. Wales is ruled by England, our representation in the UK parliament so much so that if every single Welsh region voted for increased local lawmaking power, only 1/8th of English MPs can out rule them. Wales has had it's national language banned by England multiple times throughout history, including as recently as the 1940s. Wales is the 5th largest exporter of energy in the world and it all goes to England free of charge, we're then told that we're too poor to rule ourselves. Many English rulers have openly denigrated Wales and it's people, everything from Churchill demanding that starving protesters be shot "Fill their bellies with lead" to a recent tweet by a former tory MP who literally wrote "It's only Wales". There is a lot of bad blood going on between Wales and England with regards to union representation so nationalism is a common attitude in Wales.

[@kennytandersson]

Wales is also incredibly beautiful!

[@t1995roger10]

Oh, I just learned something new! Thank you stranger!

[@SmithYorkinster]

Let's be honest, the United Kingdom is kind of a mistake. It's basically just british occupation with extra-steps.

[@ericainspace]

I kinda knew how bad it was, not even knowing the specifics. Man that sucks.

[@lordkenten4136]

The sad thing is the English will never leave since the southern half of Wales is basically completely ethnically English. So Even if every ethnic Welsh person wants to leave the entire south of the country would never agree to it. So Wells is forever bound to the English. It is truly sad.

[@thefrogmaster4383]

"I live in Wales. My wife is Welsh. Her side of the family is Welsh. My daughter goes to a Welsh school. Why is she speaking Welsh?"

[@02ladydamned]

@Azet Doodsengel if you move to a country you should learn the language, not tell everyone else to stop speaking it. Imagine moving to France, having a half French child who goes to a French school and then complaint you can't understand it. Then justifying it by saying English is an international language anyway. It's just rude and disrespectful imo

[@02ladydamned]

@Azet Doodsengel it doesn't really matter that it's part of the UK. It's still one of the national languages and a huge part of the culture and heritage. That can't, nor should it, be erased just because someone doesn't fancy learning it. It's more likely that the wife is trying to keep this part of her culture alive which is only a good thing and the father should be more supportive

[@murlocmasher3368]

the dad wants her to speak English around him! Just because she learned Welsh, doesnt mean the father should feel left out of simple daily conversations. speak Welsh all you want, just dont ostracize your family while you do it.

[@craigbolton2231]

@Chris George I dont know any scottish nationalists that are pushing to bring back Gaelic. We kinda just accept that it's dead unless you go to the highlands and realise you cant read anything

[@craigbolton2231]

@Chris George yeah I could see a few snp that would push it but its nothing widespread to any degree, anything to screw england for some of them. But most snp are pretty much nationalist in name only. I know almost no one that speaks gaelic, one person comes to mind but he also spoke Klingon so take that for what you will haha.

[@stepgamerdad]

Why is it that every time an AITA-Post begins with "It's not as bad as it sounds", it's usually *way* worse?

[@Lanxes727]

So right lol or op is usually still bad but not as bad as the entitled idiot in the story.

[@georgi5637]

I mean... he was right. It wasn't as bad as it sounded, it was worse.

[@mizakichicrow]

Lol so true, just like when people start a statement with, " I'm not racist but........" and then proceeds with something racist.

[@dimsufferer9951]

It's always like, “AITA for driving under the influence? It's not as bad as it sounds” Option A: “So this is tooooootally silly even posting this but I had my licence taken away for driving drunk so many times and I drove drunk again anyway and killed a child, and their parents are calling me the a-hole? What's the deal with that am I right?” Option B (less likely): “I feel terrible about this, but I drove really tired and had to pull my (insert other person)’s car over to nap for a bit. When I got home it was scuffed on one side and I offered to pay for the damages. I feel horrible and like a crappy person, AITA?”

[@phoenixthings]

This subreddit in a nutshell: Either they are completely in the right Or they're a terrible person

[@themysteriouscatperson9483]

Ikr I kinda want more challenging stories

[@Star_Joker]

@@themysteriouscatperson9483 a great example of a challenging story was of that guy who put his ex-girlfriend onto heroin, she ODed a few years later while he became clean, and he wondered if he would be TA for attending her funeral.

[@themysteriouscatperson9483]

@@Star_Joker That’s not challenging, that’s very easy, he’s clearly TA there, a challenging story would be where you don’t know if they’re TA or not, like it’s not that simple

[@Star_Joker]

@@themysteriouscatperson9483 no it's not that easy. On the one hand, he wants to pay his respects, but on the other hand, he got her on to heroin when he used to be an addict, but he didn't kill her directly. He got clean, she went clean for a while, but she couldn't resist. And that OP didn't go to the service according to a post edit, so that doesn't make him that bad.

[@themysteriouscatperson9483]

@@Star_Joker He got her on heroin, it doesn’t matter if he went to the service or not, it was him who got her on heroin, which she died from, he is a bad person.

[@patriksvensson2360]

Funny how that British guy's not aware of his colinialist behaviour.

[@PurpledaisyShasta]

She’s not judging her sister from marrying young. She’s judging her from marrying a guy she has only known for a year.

[@SteviiLove]

Okay but it's not her relationship so wtf does it matter to OP? She promised her sister she wouldn't talk about her engagement and she did it anyways. It

[@PurpledaisyShasta]

I know. I was just correcting r/slash. It was pretty shitty what she did.

[@randomperson7309]

How that like telling your friend dont kill to much on fortnite on their vid and you get one kill thry weren't focused on her they made a problem with it

[@GutsInBerserk]

@SteviiLove It was mentioned that she didn’t tell people unless they asked.

[@GutsInBerserk]

@killern king frost don’t bring Fortnite into this. The last thing I want is cringe

[@kellyfoster6983]

My sister announced that she was pregnant at my wedding. I didn't know till afterwards

[@mitsusah2612]

How did you feel? Was there a fight between you or did you talk things out? I'm super curious to know how these kinds of situations end.

[@notyourbruh]

yup, also curious

[@PaveMentman]

--- @@mitsusah2612 I'd say it all depends on the type of the "announcement". Like say in case of the video, if it's simply someone outright noticing a slightly bigger belly and then asking if she's pregnant. Or maybe it was just outright "on the soap-box" announcement. Or perhaps a casual "slip" like "well, I cannot do this activity again until I've done the delivery". So many possibilities. ---

[@gabrielmartin977]

Yeah, rslash was WAY wrong about that story

[@owentarjanyi772]

Gabriel Martin that is what I thought. The op didn’t publicly announce it, if people asked, she answered, and moved on.

[@UnkillableJay]

"A perfectly healthy marriage" *refuses to let a woman work*

[@salinawilliams383]

That 2nd story really hit home. My sister did something similar to me because they lived with me and had 2 toddlers. I worked from home and at odd hours(IT/manager work) and she figured since I was home I could watch her kids because "You should spend more time with your family". I ended up kicking her out and losing my house because she wasn't putting in her part of rent and refused to help with a downpayment for me to be able to buy it from my landlord. Now she's got 3 kids, all different baby daddies, and living beside her ex-mother in law. There's other toxic stuff she's done but I'm not gonna write the huger story here. If anyone knows where I can share please let me know. Love these and great to listen to while working!!!

[@uuuupppssie]

Last one: NTA! She dodged a bullet for sure. At least she didn’t have to put up with her sexist man and his equally sexist family. OP saved his daughter, tbh.

[@suethemarysue4969]

I don't understand How's a dowry sexist???? Isn't it money the husband gives for the wife for her leisure and stuff

[@DevilxVitae]

"Where we get to judge people on the internet" everything about this sentence is just *yes*

[@Alexisgotvids]

*yes*

[@eetu483]

yes

[@notyourbruh]

ye

[@mamabanana88]

To the guy "worried" about his kid being bilingual: My kid's school is teaching them 3 languages: Filipino, which is our native language, English and Mandarin Chinese. She is 5 and doing just fine.

[@justaperson4656]

I'm a welshie, and Welsh is forced on us here, but I also speak Japanese. Welsh is a *mostly* dead language, it's complicated, and I can barely spell since it's celtic. The challenge is half of the fun. I actually bonded with my dad (English man) over our mutual confusion over the language.

[@I_THE_ME]

Bilinguality is a good thing as long as you can benefit from both the languages. Welsh is indeed becoming a dead language and the daughter won't benefit much from learning it.

[@anidiot159]

@@I_THE_ME She'll benefit from being able to understand her school work since she goes to a Welsh school

[@taakothewizardfromtv7620]

I'll admit yes learning more than language is great. But you do have to teach it correctly. We started learning Irish in primary school. So you know. Was used to English. But it wasn't taught right and it has killed my interest in other languages to the point I can't motivate to learn french

[@boldanabrasevic3020]

@@I_THE_ME There's more to a language than how useful it is. Also, she doesn't lose anything by learning it since it is easier for children to learn new languages

[@TheVampireAzriel]

The twins one: NTA, talking about what's going on in your life at a wedding is common. Especially if you don't see friends and family that much. We are too busy or don't connect on social media and weddings/funerals/reunions serve these functions.

[@bodaciousdoggo8971]

YTA Not necessarily because of the ring but just the way she talks about her sister she gave jabs at her sister for “shacking up with the first person she saw” honestly I think OP Is definitely hiding some important details to make this seem more self congratulatory. In any case this family needs therapy.

[@spectralwiitch7544]

@@bodaciousdoggo8971 Honestly I'm in the same boat as you, I think. While on the one hand, the thing with the ring doesn't seem bad, but its definitely suspicious how she's talking about her sister, that it raises flags she might be hiding something.

[@35joannecoleman]

Yeah but she said she wouldn't, but she did. Why lie, when you won't even see these people anymore, we need more information tbh.

[@EmeraldEsmerelda]

I knew a couple who got married and asked both of their sisters not to announce their pregnancies and engagements, the couple even said they’d pay for the engagement party and baby shower if they waited till after the wedding. Neither one of the sisters waited and announced everything during the speeches, they got kicked out of the wedding and they still expected the newlyweds to pay for their parties...

[@TheVampireAzriel]

Making a full blown announcement is different than a casual conversation. If it's just talking with people NTA, if they make an announcement YTA because you aren't supposed to steal the bride & groom's moment.

[@cassandrasullivan_1]

It’s less about her sister getting married young and more about her marrying someone after only a year while she was getting married after 7 years of dating. Also, she was ASKED about the ring and she answered. And don’t tell her to leave the ring at home. She has every right to wear her ring. It’s not like she showed up and loudly proclaimed her engagement to everyone.

[@nightrayneraven1323]

I agree, it's not like she showed up with a neon sign saying that "I am engaged" and it was at the reception where people talk about ANYTHING.

[@pegicorn302]

For the twin sister story, the op, while in the wrong, wasn't talking about how their sister was "too young" to get married, it's that she hadn't been that relationship for a very long time (1 year) before they got married.

[@Shadowfate93]

Still obviously being judgemental.

[@pegicorn302]

@@Shadowfate93 yeah. Just for a different reason

[@GiordanDiodato]

@@Shadowfate93 true, but at the same time, they couldn't lie when asked about the ring.

[@canigetawater]

@@GiordanDiodato Or they could have. Or they could have directed the conversation somewhere else. Or taken the ring off. Literally anything other than going nuclear to a LARGE wedding reception

[@tayganroberts5098]

anarchy artz who went nuclear? She didn’t take the ring off and a couple of people asked in passing conversation? She didn’t get up on stage, grab everyone’s attention and announce it to take the spotlight off her sister. Getting engaged is just as special as getting married and to say she should have to hide the fact that she got engaged because her sister was most likely jealous is pathetic

[@momowilmes5809]

OP: “It’s a dead language!” Me: ...so are we calling Wales the dead country then? Because like...there is an entire part of the country that speaks Welsh.

[@Nothankyou165]

Tbf in 1900 50% of Welsh people could speak Welsh. Now it's 20%. It's not dead, but it's dying.

[@momowilmes5809]

Jamie Yeomans Oh okay, thank you for correcting and informing me! ^^

[@Nothankyou165]

@@momowilmes5809 Not correcting! Only informing!

[@velvety2006]

so is ancient Egyptian and we still wanna know what the pictures on the walls in the pyramids mean :P

[@Nothankyou165]

@@velvety2006 That is true, but how common is The Coptic language nowadays?

[@bionicsouthernbelle1539]

Also that last story is a genuinely creepy! Like that is the exact thing “Stepford wives” is cautioning young women of. That mother saved her daughter full stop and that creepy sexist family can take their Get Out: female edition horror story waiting to happen somewhere else!

[@319hiroyuki]

Top 10 anime betrayals 1. "This isn't as bad as it sounds."

[@LavenderRare]

OP in the wedding story only told people when they asked about her ring. She did not go out of her way to make it about her, she was literally answering questions. She is not the butthole.

[@Nerobyrne]

For the second story, just mail them a nice children's version of "The boy who cried wolf"

[@jadenmartinez323]

YES

[@Nerobyrne]

@@xxxkingfluffyxxx9653 I'm hoping they can give it to their kids to read so they know not to make this mistake ^.^

[@lisasimpson3832]

WORD.

[@Dragonborne223]

For the wedding one, if it's actually how she described imo she did nothing wrong with the 'announcements'

[@daagonthebefeler7960]

Damn that dad is shouldering such a burden just to make sure his daughter is happy, good man

[@sankai91]

Tbh I have a hard time understanding why people say a person is a buttwhole when they speak about their engagement during the wedding of another person. Though this time I agree, OP has kind of promised not to make it about her - and yet: what do you expect? Should OP go around and lie about not being engaged and thereby risking her fiancé to get ahold of her lying and hence endangering her own relationship? I see nothing wrong with anwering truthfully to the question asked in this scenario... Then again, I feel like weddings are massively overrated ^^'

[@GiordanDiodato]

I'd say it's a bit ESH, though OP less so.

[@allykayalltheway6631]

I'd say the only blame OP has is that she agreed to it. If my brother asked me not to talk about my engagement(Absolutely love my stunning fiance by the way) I'd tell him to fuck right off. More good cannot be bad.

[@Richard_Nickerson]

In that 2nd one, you know they're lying because they didn't answer a single attempt at communicating from the person watching their baby. I leave my 2 year old with my mom for a couple hours and I go from the guy who ignores calls and texts to the guy frantically checking my phone to make sure it's not my mom. What if they had an emergency involving the baby? You're going to ignore potentially serious calls? Bad parenting, and utterly disrespectful.

[@shriveborn9422]

“Sun’s down, undies down.” -rSlash

[@skintgirafde320]

That’s my new motto Right next to “another day, another migraine”

[@Princesskyloren]

His wife must be busy lmao

[@auugh43546]

Piss poo rat in the bed

[@Window4503]

Or it could be “sun’s down, moon’s out.”

[@ElysiaWhitemoonOmega]

you want me to keep them on till 11 pm in summer, thatsa wayyyy too late :D

[@overlordofchaos9173]

Does anyone else think this guy is related to the woman how demand that and old guy and a worker to speech English in a coffee shop in wales

[@notyourbruh]

yes

[@olgadzhydzhora1688]

Mhm

[@Sleepysloth-b9s]

I mean most already speak English. It's polite and they'll be nice to you if you give them a simple shwmae 'hello'

[@MatchBreakers]

Hmmn. That last story. I find in puzzling that the daughter was with her boyfriend for 7 years and never caught even a hint that him and his family thought they still lived in the 1850s. Like that is one hell of a long con, 7 years of pretending to be something completely different not just to your GF but her entire family, just to pull a Uno reverse card after marriage and expecting her and the family to just accept it. *doubt*

[@lenax9798]

Once abusers think they have you hooked, only then they'll start to show their true colours.

[@velvety2006]

I don't get the friends 'healthy marriage" I am afraid to ask what they consider an unhealthy marriage then.

[@MatchBreakers]

@@lenax9798 true, but the way this was told their behavior came off as sexist and outdated rather than psychotic or predatory. In these relationships that i have seen up close the grooming of the victim to accept their role often starts rather quickly and the daughter did not seem to have been influenced whatsoever. I don't know ofcourse, this is a reddit post, and you could very well be right.

[@KiraMermaid]

Also when you're in love with someone small red flags tend to be unseen or brushed off. Husband working and the wife being a SAH mom is common and normal enough (SAH dad is less common but still normal) so it wouldn't raise any flags by itself. Daughter probably just assumed her fiance was going to let her continue her dream path since he hadn't said anything prior. Why encourage someone to continue if they were just going to tell them to stop later?

[@lightishredgummi]

@@MatchBreakers the fact that they didn't want her to know at all feels like a sign that they knew she wouldn't be okay with it, and they expected her dad to just go along with it. also, red flags just look like flags when you're looking through a rose-colored lens. if there were signs, she probably ignored them under the now obviously false impression that she was dating a good guy. and clearly her friends didn't notice, assuming they aren't as sexist as the guys family

[@PJ-yi8cn]

1:20 If it's so disgusting, why do you choose to live there RENT FREE?

[@Gumdrodgak]

That roommate one is so weird, how would he know that she wouldn’t like the drink if he’s never allowed to speak to her? It was probably an unopened bottle too so... also it’s probs for the best to leave a situation where people keep accusing you of things for not reason before something actually happens

[@MaverickBoy303.]

The anti welsh story really angered me. Welsh isn’t a dead or ugly language, in my opinion Welsh is a very beautiful language

[@bellerain381]

It truly is!

[@auugh43546]

yeah i don't like that i think welsh fruit snack good

[@MaverickBoy303.]

king crimson wrong welsh buddy, but very tasty indeed

[@stormeyedselkie]

I'm learning Scottish Gaelic and I've had people tell me that it's a dead language and that I should be learning another language. Gaelic is a lovely language 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@MaverickBoy303.]

@@stormeyedselkie truly beautiful

[@ValhallaAMV]

OP at her sister's wedding, NTA. People ask, answers yes, moves on. Definitely not making the day about her, and mom and sister are just being Karens.

[@dustyrose192]

But she said that she wouldnt talk about the engagment. And then she broke her promise

[@benguest4834]

@@dustyrose192 She should've agreed not to bring it up, instead of not talking about it

[@mitsusah2612]

@@benguest4834 I agree. OP should have told her sister she would wear her engagement ring and only tell if people ask. Talking it through before the wedding would have been the best option, I think.

[@glny6564]

NAH, literally it's understandable for the bride to be mad, but at the same time she didn't make it all about her

[@jack3417]

Exactly why should you hide one of the happiest things of your life

[@matthewmurphy2881]

I disagree with your conclusion on the wedding story. She isn't judging her sister for marrying young as you said she is judging her for rushing into it after only 1 year of knowing the person. And she did follow her sisters wishes she didn't bring up her engagement she wore her ring (which she shouldnt have to take off in the first place) and people asked the question. IMO there is no reason for her to lie or for anyone to lie. She got asked and told the truth she's not being selfish

[@Zorae42]

She promised not to talk about it and then she talked about it. How is that in any way following her sister's wishes? It's literally breaking her promise

[@littleprincesssushi]

I agree with you!

[@masterjan1029]

@@Zorae42 I disagree, OP did not go out of her way to bring it up... patrons asked about it. What should she do not be herself and lie to these people. I feel as if that is rude to ask of someone...

[@Zorae42]

@@masterjan1029 Then don't lie? "That's private", "I don't want to talk about it because it's my sister's wedding", or moving the ring to a different finger are all valid, non-lying options. And if you see breaking a promise as preferable to lying then I hope nobody ever shares a secret with you.

[@jkelleyk]

agreed i dont think she was in the wrong at all, i get it she was asked not to talk about it but if someone ELSE brings it up just ignoring it/brushing it off is a dick move more then just a brief few words then changing the subject

[@katieg3163]

It's possible to work on recovering from trauma & also understand the concept of roommates (other people continuing normal life around you). But if the gf's that traumatized, maybe their living situation never could have worked anyhow.

[@moon7shinev150]

That last one if my mom or dad told me that my fiance was trying to make decisions for me like that then I would totally dump the guy and be grateful to my parents

[@GracefullPhantom]

In the story about the wedding I personally dont think OP is an A hole. Yeah she agreed not to talk about it, but as far as we know the sister never exclusively asked her to take her ring off (she shouldn't have to anyway). So of course people are going to ask and if she really wanted to be petty and actually make the day about her she could've complained instead to everyone who asked and said stuff like "oh I cant talk about it because my sister wont LET ME," I think OP was resonable in her situation. She didnt go out of her way to tell peoeple, she didnt make an announcement, she kept it under the table. I think thats fair and resonable. Also, I don't think she was judging her sister on marrying young, I think it was more because she had only known the guy for a short time. Edit: wow thanks for all the likes guys. Wasn't expecting that.

[@ShelbyZealand]

I agree. I was surprised my rSlash's answer.

[@joshcarlyle4657]

She didn't do anything wrong RSlash is trippin

[@KatariinaV]

Yeah, rSlash is definitely wrong with this one.

[@canigetawater]

@@xxxkingfluffyxxx9653 She gets engaged a week before her sisters wedding and cant just.. take off the fucking ring after being asked to hide it?? Did she need a goddamn blimp with the words "take the ring off or have better conversations" to catch a clue??? Shes not an idiot she knew what she was doing

[@BunchyPanther42]

Nah, she made the night about her by talking about it with people when ASKED NOT TO. Not to mention based on her attitude towards her sister thru out the post I doubt that she didn’t do it on purpose

[@paiget6200]

"Sun's down, undies down" Omg I can't breath 😂 😂 😂 😂

[@Shin-Kageyami]

The Welsh story had an update a while ago where he said somethings along the lines of that he decided to learn welsh and somehow (don't remember why or how) the wife confeced to encouraging her daughter to speak more Welsh to leave her dad a bit left out so he would learn how to speak Welsh. So for me the grading is everyone is the butthole the dad is for the reason Rslash said and for the daughter and wife for intentionally making the dad fell leftout in his own home

[@reedsaltzgaber9774]

They were basically forcing him to learn Welsh

[@laurelmeren8054]

Also he realized how toxic he was being and had to NC with his mom for her own toxicity toward his wife and kid

[@mitsusah2612]

The parents should have talked the whole language thing through much better before having a child. Both made assumptions that their language would be the primary one, and now both are mad that the other one did not have the same assumption. Or that's how it seems like to me.

[@f687sNFM]

I think she wanted a divorce for that easy money

[@Shin-Kageyami]

@@laurelmeren8054 yeah I forgot to mention that part thanks

[@drewgraham]

Highly disagree with your statement about the wedding / engagement. She clearly said she was only answering people's questions about the ring on her finger

[@bigkmoviesandgames]

On the sister story she didn't say the sister was too young to get married just that she didn't think her sister should get married after only 1 year of dating. Also it's really unreasonable to expect someone else to just lie and remove their wedding ring just to appease ones ego. I think your dead wrong on this one it reminds me of the one aita video you did were the bride was expecting her close family to write essays on why they deserved to go to her wedding and you side with that too. It's like you have this strange belief that just because someone is having a wedding they're allowed to be pricks. You have really weird judgment sometimes dude.

[@SashaMonsteraki]

Op has been dating her fiance since she was 17 but claims her sister "shacked up woth the first guy that showed interest" lol. When people get married so fast, it's either abuse or a pregnancy. It's possible the bride is pregnant and didn't want to tell the stupid op. Also, not okay to talk about engagement or pregnancy on other people's weddings. The essay thing was bad, but has nothing to do with this story. OP is TA.

[@gamegirl23100]

@@SashaMonsteraki If OP is wearing an engagement ring and someone asks them about it then what are they supposed to do? Say "Oh sorry, I can't tell you why I'm wearing the ring." That's super weird. Sounds like the sister is just being petty. I'm sure OP is petty too but I don't think it's that big of a deal. If it's so widely known that you shouldn't announce an engagement at a wedding, then maybe other people shouldn't be asking about someone else's ring.

[@christopherbzowski4346]

@@gamegirl23100 then she shouldn't have worn the ring on the wedding in the first place, she promised her sister that she wouldn't tell anyone and she broke it

[@StarlitLady]

@@christopherbzowski4346 She had every right to wear her ring, and every right to answer questions about it. She wasn't being obnoxious and going around bragging about it. She was asked, she answered truthfully. NTA.

[@toothless3835]

@@christopherbzowski4346 Dude, you can't ask someone not to wear their wedding/engagement rings to a wedding. That's a bridezilla level.

[@thiago97klein]

I disagree with the wedding one, op didnt announced her engagement, she was wearing her ring, which is fine. What if they were already maried? She should take the ring off bc her sister wants?

[@canigetawater]

If they were already married that would be fine They got engaged a week before the wedding.

[@leopold7562]

She hadn't announced the engagement. If she had, it would be different, as it would already be public knowledge. The fact she hadn't announced it means that she was announcing it to every individual she spoke to, thus endlessly reliving that joy whilst at her own sister's wedding. It's a twat move.

[@GiordanDiodato]

@@canigetawater she didn't announce the engagement. she was asked.

[@thiago97klein]

@@leopold7562 she was asked about it, she didnt went to every guest and announced her engagement

[@leopold7562]

@@thiago97klein The first person who asked will have spoken to, on average, 2.5 other people about it, thus meaning it would be common knowledge and a talking point. I'm guessing a lot of the conversations, at some point, would get round to, "I heard the news, can I see the ring?" Anyone who wants to grab attention knows how this works - it's fishing for attention.

[@Mewse1203]

The babysitting nephew one still peeves me off. I was one of the top comments on that post, and I'm still outraged on OPs behalf. He can never believe them again.

[@musicbabe90]

'my twin sister and I, both 24' umm that's generally how that works 😂

[@kay-sp4gk]

Personally, I think learning your “native” language, even if it’s not used often, is pretty neat. I’ve lived in America my entire life, but have a lot of ancestry in Ireland and am fascinated by it, I’ve been wanting to learn it for years and finally I’m taking it seriously and practicing everyday. It makes me really proud, like I’m honoring my ancestors or something (yeah dramatic I know). I guess it’s different for people who’s ancestors have come from the same country for centuries, but that dad shouldn’t have discouraged his daughter from learning a language that’s in her ancestry.

[@coffeeaddict9605]

That whole roommate and his girlfriend story sends up so many red flags. If I was to hazard a guess, I'd almost think that he told her some lie about OP to make her afraid of him in am effort to control her.

[@kappadream569]

Ideas like this father's is reason why those languages are becoming dead in first place. Ireland is good example, ages of English "gentemans" doing same shit there amounted to shocking decrease of native speakers of Gaelige (about 2% of population can speak fluently) , so much in fact, that second language in Ireland after English, is Polish on about 3-4%

[@SisterMaryCharlesBronson]

The British trying to replace Welsh, their native language, with English was pretty much what the white man did to the Native Americans. Idk if the Brits slaughtered the Welsh like America did the Native Americans, though.

[@emellisor7167]

My great grandfather first language was Scottish Gaelic, but he experienced so much prejudice both in Scotland and when he came to the US that he took great lengths to make sure his children didn’t even know that they were born in Scotland. We found out after he died. I hate that he was made to feel like he couldn’t speak his language, or even talk about where he was from.

[@kappadream569]

@@SisterMaryCharlesBronson It was more of an occupation move, certainly less brutal than Ex-Brits going through whole North America slaughtering everything they saw. Welsh occupation was on and off, cemented with annex England-Wales by Tudors

[@SisterMaryCharlesBronson]

@@kappadream569 Thanks for the info!

[@abonynge]

Are we surprised that the English have done bad things?

[@meenabadeena8462]

Bruh, in that Welsh story when the dad says “what’s going to happen when she goes to university?” I don’t know if it’s the same in European countries as it is in America, but do you know how much universities love students who are bilingual?!?!

[@songbird-wj4yj]

Agreed! Also, she does know English from what OP says. If OP is really concerned that she isn’t learning enough English and it will hurt her in the future, they can encourage her to continue learning both! I think it’s great if you can expose your child to more than one language

[@songbird-wj4yj]

Azet Doodsengel I hadn’t seen that, but it definitely seems important to the narrative here. I understand encouraging OP to learn Welsh to include them in their conversations, but purposefully excluding and manipulating someone to learn a language is not okay to do.

[@istallessa6864]

Dad: ItS a DeAd LaNgUaGe UuUuUuUgG wales: am i a joke to you?

[@dyltube6395]

@Azet Doodsengel there are quite a few welsh people that don’t like the English and I think it’s more beneficial to know English than welsh

[@XXXkazeXXX]

Weeeeeell, in my country a bilingual university student would never graduate, we have to pass native exams, English exams and the second national language exams. Seriously, there are people who graduate late because they couldn't pass the second national language exam.

[@Genius.E]

Did rslash really just shame a person for answering questions honestly instead of lying, and for being skeptical about her sister’s obviously questionable behavior? Would the same rules apply if OP asked her sister to hide the fact that she is married at her future wedding because her sister is a newly-wed and OP doesn’t want the day to become all about her sister’s new life? Agreeing to not go around bragging is different from agreeing to lie in people’s faces. Also, how is it acceptable for people to make such insecure demands just because they’re getting married?

[@Zorae42]

Because it's their wedding day and about their marriage not OP's pending one? It's the same reason other people aren't supposed to wear white or announce pregnancies at weddings. Because it takes away from the bride's day. The OP could've easily said, "That's private" or, "I don't want to talk about it since it's my sister's wedding", or even moved the ring to a different finger. Instead, they chose to go against their sister's wishes and talk about their engagement after promising not to. If your sibling told you they were pregnant but it was still the early stages so they didn't want to tell anyone in case something went wrong and then someone asked you, "Man, why is your sibling being so weird these days?", you would be a total ass if you told them about the pregnancy "because they asked".

[@songbird-wj4yj]

Yeah Rslash normally goes easier on the brides in these stories for some reason. He also misinterpreted OPs statement about how long they had been together before engagement. He thought they were claiming the twin was marrying too young, but it was about the fact that they got engaged after only a year of dating (as opposed to OPs 7 years). I kind of understand why the sister would want her twin to keep the engagement on the low at her wedding, especially if they do have a rivalry where she feels she never got enough attention. I don’t think she should’ve asked OP to hide it, nor do I think OP should have agreed to that. Maybe she should’ve said “If people ask, I’m not going to lie, but I’ll try not to talk about it too much and keep the attention on your day”. As long as OP wasn’t causing a disruption or distraction during special parts of the ceremony/reception, I think it’s fine. It’s definitely possible that the twin is just insecure. But with these stories you never really know how true everything is or how warped OPs perspective is. Edit: also as a married person, I probably wouldn’t have even noticed someone talking about their engagement at my wedding unless they made some big announcement lol. I was too busy and excited to even care about something like that

[@starlighttigerx268]

@@Zorae42 it's not only the brides day (there's a groom too (or not, who knows?)) but I still agree

[@picallo1]

I honestly dont think its a big deal. Like she said they asked and she answered and it was over. She didnt make an announcement. It was a quick conversation. It was shitty to straight up break the promise, to that I agree, but making it all about her??? Not even kinda close.

[@Genius.E]

Zorae42 yea because that would be my sibling’s business, not mine. We’re talking about OP answering honestly when asked about HER ring. Yea she could have worn it on another finger and danced around the truth, or left it home altogether. My point is that she shouldn’t have had to. It speaks volumes about how insecure her twin is that she wants her sister to hide her engagement. Maybe because I grew up sharing birthday parties with my cousin every year, who’s birthday is the same week as mine, is the reason why I don’t see how a few people congratulating OP on her engagement takes away from her sister’s wedding. It’s not like people suddenly started flocking around OP and left the bride sitting all alone for the rest of the night. If I’m getting married and my brother gets engaged, I’m not going to ask him to hide it. Now, if OP decided to get everyone’s attention and pop the question, then I could see how that would be stealing her sister’s shine; but wearing her ring is not that big of a deal.

[@foremanhaste5464]

Roommate Control freak: I think this is more about how the roommate wants his own place but can't afford it. They clearly want to have their cake and only pay for half. NTA, don't walk, run.

[@TriaMaxwell]

"Taking away the love of his life" That you wanted someone to PAY him to take

[@nc7718]

You're completely wrong on the wedding story to me. Small talk is perfectly fine at a wedding, you're allowed to say you're engaged. What was she supposed to say, "No I'm not engaged, I'm just wearing an engagement ring because I feel like it?"

[@RumbleDelta]

Story 3: And then they wonder why the Northern Irish, Welsh and Scottish don't want to be associated with England.

[@ethanmartin8095]

I mean the whole reason there is a northern Ireland is because they wanted to associate with England...

[@leopold7562]

Not all of us wonder that. I'm English and sometimes I don't want to be associated with England either.

[@ETfilms100]

I dont see a big problem with wearing your engagement ring at a wedding. Its not as big of a deal as announcing it. If its a quick congrats, then its fine. 0/5 for op in that one.

[@Jaythebamf]

Bruh that last one is literally "fellas AITA for being a parent with a working brain?"-

[@ssga_tgbuddy3082]

You're wrong about the daughter talking about her engagement. She said she didn't announce it but rather it came up in casual conversation. When I'm at a wedding it's not like I am always going to talk about the couple. If someone else has good news, then sure. It sounds like the mother and married daughter are bullying her.

[@ScooterBond1970]

The truth is probably somewhere in the middle, as is often the case. (i.e. OP might have been going out of her way to mention her engagement but still doing so in a low-key manner.) Remember that we're only hearing one side of the story, from someone who wants us to take their side. Grain of salt and all.

[@butterman2287]

She called me gross so I made her homeless

[@mitsusah2612]

Well, it was more like verbal abuse than just getting called gross once or twice...

[@butterman2287]

Mitsusa H I guess your right but still it’s a joke

[@CaTastrophy427]

@@butterman2287 It sounded like physical shaming. Sure, OP is an adult, but that's never okay. It's not a joke, it's abuse, especially when it comes from someone in a position of power (like a parent).

[@butterman2287]

Ace Trainer Mae-day no I am saying that I made a joke about it. This is very serious and I know that and I am sorry you got the wrong idea from it

[@Skercz14]

It's not like the person stood on a table and announced their engagement. They were ASKED and they just answered. It's not uncommon to think people marrying after a short period of time when you have been building up a relationship for many years is irresponsible. The red flag is that the sister is frivolous and the mother is encouraging poor behavior.

[@abbeadorable3781]

What was she supposed to do, hid the ring and avoid the question when asked. That would lead to a lot more questions .

[@canigetawater]

@@abbeadorable3781 No?? Have you ever had a conversation with a group of adults? "I dont wanna talk about it, let's celebrate my sister!!" "Sorry, couldnt hear you there! Did you try the food it's great, did you see my sisters dress? Amazing!". Literally direct the conversation away from your ring. Put it on a different finger/other hand. WEAR A GLOVE. Omg

[@wta1518]

No, that was a total a**hole move. You don’t announce that you’re pregnant at a baby shower, and you also don’t announce that you’re engaged at a wedding.

[@mindmaster323]

Right. OP didn't say anything about her sister marrying early, but that she's only been with her boyfriend for like a year, which is too early into a relationship to even consider marriage. And if people are asking "Oh, is that a ring, are you engaged or something?" it feels weird to lie about it and say no, but I guess she could probably try to dance around it. If OP deserves any asshole rating it's 1/5 at most.

[@tyrellwharfewharfe4387]

@@canigetawater i feel like if she kept talking abt her marriage after someone asked they would be the ahole but if it went something like "convo convo convo, wait are you engaged?" "yh" then they continue to what they were talking abt before i feel like they're in the clear, idk just my opinion

[@eternalgaming9705]

About the guy with the sister rivalry, he isn't the asshole. So what? Someone walks up, asks about you and your ring and you just tell them "Can't tell you about my ring"? That would be the most awkward thing to do to be honest. He passed away as neutral by responding to what they asked him, he didn't just go around and brag about it. Yes, he could've just taken off the ring, but.. If her friends are more interested in his relationship than his sister's, doesn't anyone see there is something wrong with that?

[@gnrlcup2523]

Exactly! If someone demands you hide your engagement ring at a wedding, it feels kinda hypocritical. Not that it was stated, but with an implication on that.

[@LunaWolf3232]

This is my thought about it, at first (when I heard the title) I did think they were but if they're just answering a question to family/friends they haven't seen in ages.. granted there was a rivalry but she wasnt forcing it on anyone like "omg look at my ring, I got engaged" it sounds like she is just enjoying herself and it's coming up in general conversation Idk if this makes sense

[@MLWJ1993]

Both are a bit of a butthole, I agree with your view, but you don't go back on a promise without being a butthole either.

[@BunchyPanther42]

I would agree but Op made it very clear that he’s just not a fan of his sister through the way he wrote the post and I wouldnt be surprised if he put the ring in plain sight so people would ask

[@GiordanDiodato]

@@MLWJ1993 you can if the promise makes you a rude SOB

[@Richard_Nickerson]

10:15 So, you're living month-to-month, don't actually have a lease, and are basing this on an unwritten, unofficial "verbal" agreement? That means you're not actually breaking a lease, and it means that since circumstances are changing that verbal agreement needs to change too.

[@name-uh5ee]

You're never the asshole if you kick someone out of YOUR house if they are disrespectful to you

[@runawayfromtoads674]

That dad in the last story is dad of the year. Who even asks for dowries anymore? The worst part is imagining what could have happened if his daughter ended up with the guy, especially if she wanted to pursue work and such.

[@Mayanieuweweg]

For the wedding-announcement story: I would go for NBH. Because I understand the bride, it was a promise OP broke and a wedding is a really important event, you want it to be perfect. But I also understand OP; People asked about the ring. Taking it off would be weird and uncomfortable, so she wore it. People then asked. What was she supposed to say? "No, I'm not engaged"? She just honestly answered.

[@godssons6979]

If you ask me the mom in the first story is only acting that way towards her daughter, because her mom is secretly upset that shes gotten older and is actually disgusted with her own body and seeing op naked made her angry because she doesnt look that way anymore. That mom can take the L straight up lol

[@jalyneperry501]

It still baffles me when twins have such a strained relationship...my twin and I are best friends and can see ourselves without the other. We tell each other everything, even if it takes a long time, we wait. It’s just sad, because twins share such a strong bond.

[@survivedandthriving]

14:47 'Some of her friends said that I was a butthole for breaking up what would've been a "healthy marriage". Ah big NO to those so-called friends. Any marriage where one person sees the other person as 'less than' could never be called "healthy". I am happy that OP saw through that BS and that OP's daughter got out of that toxic mess before she married into it and married that toxic person.

[@onechilldoggo]

Nope OP is not the A-Hole here the house is in HER name and not her moms. Ps. Nice thumbnail BTW

[@LoonyHalfBlood]

*her name

[@Batmandickrider593]

Her*

[@dhedetry8571]

@@Batmandickrider593 nice pp . . . I mean profile picture

[@chungm.h8713]

@@dhedetry8571 pog

[@thesenate5521]

Her*

[@rockargen9591]

last story: rslash, i think its a she not he, also wtf they say she took the love of his life, but they wanted to take away her dreams and wanted to force her to an unhealthy marriage

[@j_upward]

Fun Fact: If you are a student in Wales and can speak Welsh fluently and you are entitled to a £3000 ($3900, €3300) grant from the Welsh government.

[@jerryeubanks3177]

For the last story I give the dad 5/5 capes for being a hero to his daughter.

[@sentientbluewallpaper8859]

"It's unlikely I'll see many attendees again" Facebook, Instagram, Twitter: Are we a joke to you?

[@r.w3800]

6:34, bruh. Welsh isn’t a dead language. It is as alive as many others. And I have a welsh name, people spell it wrong. But the only make jokes about it because it’s the same name as Reese’s pieces or Reese’s puffs. Not because it’s welsh. I think the teasing because of the name itself is absolutely BS.

[@Alteusgirl]

i'm french i'm called Salomé, which is a french version of an hebrew name, it's a biblical name like any other basic european catholic name and it still gets butchered into Salami almost everywhere i go...

[@LloydTheZephyrian]

What's the typical Welsh name spelled like? Genuinely curious.

[@r.w3800]

LloydTheZorua, My name is Rhys and most people spell it Reese ( the American way).

[@gekk5663]

LloydTheZorua Rhiannon, Myfanwy, Gweneth, Anwen, Cheryl, Seren, Alwyn, Avril, Ariana, Dafydd (David)

[@byno3862]

@@r.w3800 How is it pronounced? When I read it, I read it as Ris, or Rise, not Reese

[@lenax9798]

Wearing a ring when you JUST got engaged is like starting to show when you're pregnant. You don't try to pull attention but if anyone notices the small details, it's kind to be honest. Op is no where in the wrong. 1) She has been with her current partner for 7 years, her sister married after 1!!! 2) she's gotten engaged a week ago, in that stage you're on cloud nine 3) she just answered a question, she didn't go up to everyone, shoving her ring in their faces, exclaiming "LOOK, I got engaged!!!!" 4) you can't expect someone to put their lives on hold for you. Yes, I get that there are people who try to put attention towards a small detail so people will notice and talk about it. Like deliberately putting your hand in front of them on the table or wearing very tight clothes so someone will see your stomach. But I'm sure OP did neither. If Twin Sister was really that upset, she couldve asked op not to come because she can't handle other people living their life

[@glennrishton5679]

Keep in mind though that these stories are like war.....the victor writes the history.

[@Shadowfate93]

You can take off a ring for a night. You can't take off a pregnant belly

[@jack79802]

I unsubbed because rslash has came out with some shockers but this was the last straw

[@Bobo-Nose]

@@Shadowfate93 Just because you can doesn't mean you have to.

[@BravePeach101]

The story with the sister's wedding. OP is not TA. I don't see any reason for anyone to take their wedding/engagement ring off unless it's a safety hazard (work, etc). Also, the sister didn't ask OP not to wear the ring, she just said to keep it low key. She wasn't going up to people announcing that she was engaged, just answering questions that came up about the ring and then moving on. I think you completely missed the mark with that one.

[@elephant6856]

I totally agree. I feel like rSlash made it seem like OP in that story was going around telling people about the engagement, when really OP was just answering to the people who asked about it.

[@KING_LIRI1]

@@elephant6856 I felt the same as he read that. I mean, better than lying about myself? OP clearly stated that she would only answer questions to those who actually asked. Not mic up to screaming "WE'RE ENGAGED!". I feel like her mom and sister aren't Karens, they just misunderstood. (More likely sound like Karens tbh)

[@seannewton1798]

I agree

[@colucloud]

yeah, but i also get that the mom and sister is upset. Because of the whole "don't announce anything at a weddinf that isn't yours" rule, and maybe they thought OP was running around telling people.

[@nightrayneraven1323]

@@KING_LIRI1 so your saying that the mom and sister were off brand Karen's not name brand Karen's

[@alissadoley7487]

Father thinks learning two languages is too much. Me :laughing in five languages.

[@Emberya]

For the welsh story: My best friend was raised speaking Russian. Her dad is American, doesn’t know Russian. He never tried to make her speak English around other friends just because he was there. Even though her family understands some English she talks to them in Russian. Her das encourages her to speak Russian! I can’t believe a parent would ask their child to speak English just because they are there. This is insane. Speaking a second language is an amazing talent. Welsh isn’t even a dead language. In Wales, you speak Welsh. This dude really thinks that every language other than English is pointless. How ignorant.

[@spectralwiitch7544]

I'd like to punt the dad of that story like, sir, perhaps you should learn the language.

[@BunchyPanther42]

Op’s sister from the wedding story should tell all the guests that she’s pregnant at Op’s wedding

[@canigetawater]

LMAO

[@jasminechildress6938]

And her spouse should record her doing it!

[@allykayalltheway6631]

As I always say, More good can't be bad.

[@oldwoman5942]

It is not because her sister s marrying young, it is because she has only been with her guy for a year. Op only answered questions, she didn’t “announce” her engagement.

[@jaggedlittlepearl8635]

To the guy in the second story that is just horrible what they did. They lied about someone dying so they can have break from parenting. That is just messed up! I don't care how badly you want a date night you don't lie about that! If they want to date night that badly hire a babysitter. I'm pretty sure there's a babysitting site out there where we can hire someone that's trustworthy or I don't know if you have a nice neighbor that you know that you trust maybe they can watch your kid.

[@ladosis5596]

This woman saved her daughter from a bad marriage, and now they're angry at her... proving her point

[@MatsuyoRific]

I'm with OP in the 1st story. I'm a woman, and I hate wearing bras. If I'm at home, I just won't wear them unless they're company over. I pretty much only wear long tshirts and underwear, and even that is only because I have a roommate.

[@Kichixchan]

In that last story of he really loved her so much he would've listened to her dreams for the future instead of expecting her to be a stay at home mom.

[@DarkCrow02]

For the last one, after I listened to the whole story, my thoughts were "So, the boyfriend's family is sending out huge red flags and you're the A-hole for pointing them out?" It didn't occur to me that they were so sexists that they didn't value OP's daughter's opinion on the matter as also part of that same racisism.

[@mediocreskullduggery]

“Sun’s down undies down.” Subbing to this channel was absolutely the right choice.

[@Amanoob105]

"No man would ever want an exhibisionist". While I can't claim to speak for all men, I feel safe in saying; Yes. Yes we would.

[@Theproclaimed]

So apparently you’re not allowed to wear your engagement ring and answer questions about it? Would it be better to say “I can’t talk about it” when someone asks about the ring?