Overcoming Shyness and Introversion

[@ceciliagranados6989]

I get a feeling he’s not thinking about what to answer, but just waiting for the right answer to arise...

[@Magnoliasdiary]

Yes!!!

[@joealias2594]

You make good point. It brings up this question for me next: What is thinking?

[@kwixotic]

He always does and that is what confers wisdom in his responses.

[@xDMrGarrison]

In a way, those two are the same :P

[@angeloiodice9304]

Yes, he pauses before he answers. He does not answer from memory and experience. Wisdom speaks from Infinite Silence. "Speak Lord, Thy Servant Heareth."

[@tadficuscactus]

I would like to see a conversation between Rupert Spira and Eckhart Tolle because they are my favourite spiritual teachers.

[@justin5033]

I discovered Eckhart first, but Rupert has more of a presence and awareness in my opinion Maybe its because Eckhart just physically looks different but Rupert shines awareness

[@catherinea2726]

@@justin5033 Me too, I discovered Eckhart tolle first, then I discovered Rupert totally agree with you..

[@TaxemicFanatic]

By all means "shop around" for spiritual teachers. The words of one may make another's teaching more palatable at a later time.

[@Wendy63Lorraine]

@@TaxemicFanatic they are pointers, pointing us to our true nature. Ruperts on the money!! (excuse my bad phrase, Lol)

[@TaxemicFanatic]

@@Wendy63Lorraine on the contrary have you ever listened to Mooji, Alan Watts, Adyashanti, or Krishnamurti? There are even lesser known teachers who are also very direct and point to our true nature. It's good to hear it in different ways even though they all come back to the same source.

[@adelemarie9236]

I think this quote from Rubert would answer the next question: "Don’t be an inside self, listening to an outside sound; just be the hearing. Don’t be an inside self, seeing an outside world; just be the seeing."

[@geofftoane700]

Adele Marie The thing is either you are the seeing, hearing, touching, etc or are not it. It is an everyday experience when you have awoken to oneness.

[@johnnywlittle]

Lovely & sharp young lady who seems very honest and real about her inner search. I sense she has a quiet strength and will go beyond this shyness thing quite quickly. I also think she is naturally quite self aware.

[@anthonykology1728]

i guess this is what consciousness really it ?

[@johnnywlittle]

Just got to the end, crazy I have that same thing she does. Longing for the weekend silence and being within the vastness of myself then clinging to distractions and procrastinating. Nice to hear someone share and speak to this.

[@FlobberwellGweneveve]

its the ritual and religion of those weary of the world's hamster-wheel. i would say millions do the same, as do i. we long for and crave a higher purpose, but don't know where to find it.

[@carolinecorcoran955]

I really appreciate this talk on shyness / social anxiety it has been a revelation. It has held me back in many ways in my life to the point where I don't attend social situations any more, even though I made huge efforts to fit in when I was younger. People have always made comments about it so I've also come to feel that it defines me as a person. This is the first time I've heard it said that exposure therapy really doesn't work. At last some positive, realistic advice - if I've understood it correctly - that we have to be in touch with ourselves and figure out why there's this ego / resistance that makes us want to hide ourselves and our true personality and how this wouldn't happen if weren't so fearful of being hurt by people's comments / reactions. Thanks Rupert 💜

[@rachaellouise2666]

Yes, exposure therapy doesn’t work for people with intense social anxiety. Something deeper is needed

[@sallyunderwood66]

I'm starting to realise that Rupert could be the God I always wanted. I am joking but I listen this man and think only of love. I want everyone to hear him, I am sure the beauty of his message and his erudite delivery could soften even the most cynical heart.

[@joealias2594]

I appreciate his first point about how she's not challenging that internal assumption. I see the danger in just building a socially confident ego to protect the vulnerable ego, though I don't think it has to be that way. I know that what he's saying here is true: that there is no separate self, that the desire for prestige and safety both are illusions of the ego. However, I've had a hell of a time actually experiencing that, or knowing it on a deep level. When I sit to meditate, I would sometimes just feel so hopeless. And when I went out around people, I felt so inferior that I couldn't bear it. I can see now that those things are ego delusions, but for me, I've felt that in order to challenge those, I've had to go out and bring them out directly by practicing social skills. Without doing that, I can't shake this notion that there was something wrong with me. After all, like he says, if I'm not deluded, I might still be an introvert, but I would also be perfectly comfortable around people. For me, being around people is the best way to bring up and observe the reasons why I'm uncomfortable and deal with them. And lastly, I'm finding life is much more enjoyable with relationships and the ability to interact competently with others, even if protecting the ego wasn't an issue. But yes, I need to make sure to keep in mind that the pleasure I get from a successful interaction with someone is not the ultimate goal to pursue and attach to.

[@Alex722]

Karma Yoga... Having insights by doing things. Nothing wrong with that. Our every day life, every breath we take is our meditation. The whole life is the practice if we bring mindfullness.

[@consideredwhisper]

This is such very helpful insight, Rupert. Thank you. The clarity of your answer shines and rings as sweetly as a crystal bell.

[@michaeldooley8744]

rupert is always so clear and precise with his words. he is an amazing teacher

[@jdl2180]

Really, have you become enlightened yet?

[@nothing12321]

Rupert Spira is a true master. Full respect and love :)

[@MrKillerdu801]

love her question !

[@sheilakirwan6900]

love what he says, his voice and his stillness ......put off by some non duality teachers and I know saying this is duality but Rupert is the best by far I have come across ......

[@sheilakirwan6900]

yes .....being at ease in yourself, whatever is happening ia an indication of a mature mind....

[@nimim.markomikkila1673]

Crystal clear!

[@IvetaWells]

I am longing all day to go home and listen to Rupert’s KZbin clip or meditation.

[@gerardgrimardia3274]

16:00: = just watch these feelings & thoughts;become interested by them & see from where they come,their source in you

[@Sun.powder]

This is genius I hope one day a whole mediation can be done covering the different opposing feelings brought up in this conversation.Thank you Rupert Spira for these wonderful videos.

[@gerardgrimardia3274]

I really don't understand how some people-like this woman- can speak so fast & know the meaning of their words !

[@clairejohnson7809]

I talk so so fast when nervous 🙈

[@javiervillarreal5269]

The answer to both of her questions was to go to the source of ourselves. I get the feeling that is where all our answers are.

[@zinqtable1092]

The last question was so relatable.

[@gerardgrimardia3274]

10:30: = silence searched when at work & avoided when at home : good;it is search for the truth,the now.

[@malabuha]

You will get out of shyness by deliberately attempting what you would normally shy away from. You will find you are not shy afterall. But that's of course if you no longer like the shyness about you. If you enjoy the feeling that comes over you as shyness, it will be impossible not to assume that quality. Because it's one rather sweet feeling. If you no longer want to exert yourself (extroverts) to a great degree you must find breaks in your assertion system. That can be a self denying process that involves understanding that you may actually be wrong. You may actually be too much. You may actually be old news so to say. Not that relevant. Put that quality on a leash. And you will have to find satisfaction in refraining, otherwise you wont be able to do it. A great balance between the two are those folks who are always quiet and at ease about it in gatherings or discussions but when attention turns over on them they do not hesitate to confidently present their case, themselves. A healthy mix of the two qualities exites respect in other people.. everybody wants to be their friends

[@FelipeGarcia-bx2tf]

If there is an ultimate truth of the meaning of life, this man's words embody it.

[@clairejoseph9398]

great video, so relatable. go into the feeling instead of running away from it

[@TB-jg2oq]

Wow. Explained so elegantly

[@jarcauco]

11:16 That was a huuuge download and insight. Thank you 🙏🍀

[@Boomhilda]

Beautiful.

[@wisdom-for-life]

Deep stuff. Thank you!

[@Misslotusification]

12:04 The ego cannot survive in the now as Eckhart Tolle says. That's why it feels uncomfortable in the now and looks to fill its lack with the next thing coming.

[@MrSvarun77]

So powerful, I love this.

[@CClearly0]

Thank you, very clear explanation not "thought" of this way before 🙏

[@sheilakirwan6900]

yes this is brilliant, clear ...love it, love him ...THANKS SO MUCH

[@meruhakoe]

Thank you so much Rupert

[@LionheartLivin]

Shyness and introversion is not the same, although there is overlap. Is introversion something that needs to be overcome for inner peace/happiness? Not rhetorical, I'm actually asking because I want to know. Thank you!

[@Av-vi5vs]

Thx to questioner I had same plm again guru Rupert has given me new hope to look life

[@allegrobul2564]

so helpfull! so clear! thank You so, so much!

[@jeara69]

Namaste and thank you!

[@justaninja1]

This guy is on another level ❤

[@mereunetulburat8022]

Thank you!

[@pursuitofspirit]

Wow. Amazing. Thank you Rupert 🙏

[@blackpearl1t]

Great question n great answer ty

[@matthewking7874]

great message & teachings

[@mohamedladhaladha7997]

Once you find your happiness,it doesn't matter whether you are shy are or not.

[@TheVera123456]

I intoverted not so much because I care about people's opinion as I do not like noise . Other people always bring noise and dustubution it makes me tired, and I loose my peace.

[@adunnou2075]

Russian American well then your not rooted deeply enough in your own being.

[@andir8119]

Russian American j just have sensory issues, too much noice hurts my brain

[@TaxemicFanatic]

Can awareness lose it's peace?

[@JoshuaDeanHealey]

@@TaxemicFanatic I know it doesn't, and you do too 👍✌

[@claudelebel49]

All of it but especially the last part at 10:30

[@FrankVergara]

Brilliant once again

[@nonamehere9755]

I love this man

[@gerardgrimardia3274]

14:05: = this avoidance of the now is so unconfortable

[@carlavela7106]

Gracias.....💚💛💜

[@Ymiraku]

this is brilliant

[@gerardgrimardia3274]

15:35: = be/become really interested in that avoidance of the now

[@gerardgrimardia3274]

instead of thinking it is wrong or bad

[@Itwasrealbutnotfun]

14:36 oh yes! Always reaching for something, which includes spiritual diversions. Oh yes, ego hides everywhere.

[@francesbrisco776]

The SOUL is everything

[@HarrietGarner]

It is true that to know one's own character is extremely critical to not allowing the ego to be under-valued, underestimated nor marginalized, as stated by Joe Madison of the Urban View in SiriusXM. This is a standard survival mechanism of emotionally intelligent African-Americans in racists environs.

[@nadavshemesh1231]

When i trace back my thoughts and feelings i actually find that they arise on behalf of my enviroment.. the so called individual that seems to be present in me is an "instance" of my enviroment. then i see that the enviroment and the individual are actually two polarities of the SAME.. just notice that thoughts speaks the enviroment language and very often echos the same concepts you hear "externally" only "internally" within your own thoughts and feelings

[@awakenow7147]

I know this is two years old, but if you're there, can you explain what exactly you mean by "environment". I think I'm understanding what you mean, but not entirely.

[@Johannes_Brahms65]

I'm afraid it's not that simple. I'm afraid it's not that complicated.

[@nadavshemesh1231]

@@awakenow7147 I forgot i wrote a comment since it rarely happens.. anyway i meant your race, country, city, friends, social identities (might be physical or conceptual i.e being tall, vegan or whatever) and family all share a common pool of thoughts and reactions as you are (as poles - seeming conflics with regards to what is positive and negative about a given subject) and it becomes more obvious through closer inspection..(by actually noticing some commonalities) its also true on a more global scale but it then easy to ignore and not see the connection as directly as with your more intimate circles. the point is that you can logically see that your "own" thoughts and oppinions clearly come from your surrouding environment, it is very logical but does not always satisfy the emotional side of things.. i think its then better to further investigate this rationale by expirientially challenging this conclusion and observing the results.(for instance try having your own unique behaviour/ thought patterns which is not at all related to your upbringing/ knowledge of others/ reacting to an action being acted upon you) , alot of reasoning.. might be confusing and unnessicary if it feels too abstract to you. i hope i made myself clear this time :)

[@Misslotusification]

​@@nadavshemesh1231In other words, the separate self is conditioned. We never think, we listen.

[@nadavshemesh1231]

@@Misslotusification Yeah i think youv'e formulated it nicely.

[@barcelona12ist]

How does someone discover the true Self? not conceptually but by actually experiencing it?

[@VasileSurdu]

interesting opposite idea, kind'of contradictory to what Jiddu Krishnamurti usually says that you can't have a gradual transformation, that it's a social conditioning, either you have a radical transformation, or you remain the same as yesterday. It depends on how serious you really are.

[@VermiciousKnids100]

With meditation comes more and more peace, in my experience, and the general consensus I would say. You don't do 1 meditation and wake up with total peace in every situation. But with practice this is what happens. So I would say gradual transformation is what most experience. This is what my experience tells me :-).

[@VasileSurdu]

VermiciousKnids100 doing meditation to 'get' something or to 'achieve' something is wrong, it's not meditation

[@VermiciousKnids100]

Not really. Meditate with the intention of your not sitting to get something. Your sitting just in peace. Observing the mind and bringing attention to the body. I know this works as I can clearly see so much more peace in myself. So, so, much more. Like you would not believe.

[@nimim.markomikkila1673]

Sometimes teachers who have had a "radical transformation" seem to forget that there was a gradual process before it. Or they don´t forget, they just never were really aware of it. You are never exactly the same the next morning:-) It´s like when saying, that Buddha he Gautama became enlightened only after he took the so-called middle path. In my opinion, that´s dismissing the practices before that, with no good ground. They must´ve changed his constitution somehow... And at the end of the day, every individual path is unique, sometimes the teachers seem to forget also that for some reason.

[@VasileSurdu]

nimim. Marko Mikkilä i'm sorry but there is no 'process' involved when you have an 'A-ha' moment or 'eureka' moment when all of the sudden you find a solution to a problem or you understand a particular situation. Similarly when you see danger, you act immediately, and you don't turn back. That's the quality of having an 'insight' into your life, your problems. Fortunatelly i studied Krishnamurti and the insight he talks about (insight into your false self and totally end it immediately) is not a simple action that one is willing to take, and most people should accept the fact that we are lazy and are conditioned to think that we can gradually transform (which implies Time and Future, and future is created by thought imagining yourself being perfect in the future distance ('someday i'll be totally at peace with no suffering etc')) which is misleading and continuosly brainwashing itself. You don't know how budha/jesus became enlightened. Maybe they realized one day about the suffering the 'false-self' is creating for them and for the world and in that undestanding got rid of it and became enlightened. Nobody knows for sure. but please don't accept an idea (sudden change is not possible, gradual change is) without actually investing time and questioning yourself on who put that belief in your head or where does it come from. Question everything, question even what i write, look out for yourself, if you want to find out, you would search for talks with krishnamurti about insight and you will see it for yourself, but if you suddenly say 'it-s not possible' then you're blocking yourself. Peace :D

[@claudelebel49]

"act as if you were already perfect" Alan Watts

[@anthonykology1728]

be still and....know you are?

[@TheJdnirvana]

How do you explain shyness/or many other psychological disorders being cured by treating chemical imbalance in the brain ? In which case 'root' cause has not been touched. It just proves that lot of these disorders could be just physiological. Kindly comment.

[@kellycoleman3685]

+MC Infliction coming from a sufferer, how did u get such a good understanding of the root cause?

[@JustinTweed]

I suffered from extreme anxiety I didn't like talking to anyone not even on the phone. Without any medication or anything I discovered who I truly was and with that shyness, anxiety disappeared very fast. I went to the feelings, I observed them from a disinterested awareness. I noticed that it was because I cared too much about what others thought about me. Now I can talk to anyone at all being completely comfortable and another time sit still and be comfortable. Rupert Spira is the greatest non-dualistic teacher ever in my opinion. I've looked into all of them almost and he has such clarity and understanding. instead of concepts he delves into experience first hand.

[@kellycoleman3685]

Thanks so much for your time and kind words. Much love

[@kellycoleman3685]

+MC Infliction can't thank you enough. Is there anyway we could communicate a little more. Maybe email or something? Id love to hear more from u!

[@ShunyamNiketana]

It's not just the ego that gets hurt by what other people say. Rupert implies that only the ego can be hurt and that a person isn't fully spiritual if an emotional or psychological injury happens.

[@vonMeiser]

He actually does not, it is only the ego that get's hurt (ego in the sense of the belief structure: I am separate). The emotional body, etc... would still be considered as ego in this case. As he states in many other videos/talks, the emotional and psychological waves come, and keep coming. It's not about rejecting them, rather - feel them, accept them, welcome them. What he does say, is that if you constantly get caught up in emotional, or psychological injuries you most likely aren't self-abiding the whole day...

[@lindaj71]

What about shy babies?

[@davidreynolds4942]

Is there an explanation from Rupert somewhere on what he does during his moment of silence before answering a question?

[@nomorecaterpillar]

David Reynolds Francis says that he listens to the question and then listens for the answer

[@depressionbeard9882]

Ekstasisss 😂😂😂😂😂 5:30 AM and I'm casually watching some sophisticated Rupert spira when your comment pops up and has me laughing out loud for 10 seconds 😂👌

[@justin5033]

Hes fully experiencing and soaking in all of thoughts and whatever the person is presenting to him

[@gerardgrimardia3274]

14:00: = cette résistance sous-jacente ,qui est évitement du maintenant, sort à gros bouillon/jaillit

[@gerardgrimardia3274]

est si inconfortable que la plupart des gens...

[@Nightswim_]

The truth is you can be hurt by things people say to you. People develop traumas due to emotionally abusive childhoods and it imprints …the problem with these teachings , as much I love them don’t touch subconscious/traumatic imprints . But I can see how what he is saying to practice can be like a reverse conditioning

[@luismoref]

In my experience it touched and healed my traumatised childhood, I can see clearly now when something is conditioned.

[@kcla3131]

the volumn is soo low it's pissing in me off a lil ! love the talk tho .

[@paulbrandon422]

K Cla turn on closed captions . A lot of Rupert’s talks have them.

[@JannikBoRasmussen]

Or use earphones

[@robertt351]

Excellent Video! Thanks for sharing This Video! I was a scared crow and all my friends used to tease me like anything. I was feeling low confident and low self-esteem. My brother introduced me to this "no fear" mobile app by lokesh , which made me manage my fears in a very methodical way and now because of this my fears are reducing one by one. I am much more confident and people are amazed at me!

[@00great226]

I am wondering why this so called "ego" exists... is it the pressure from others to behave a certain way? why would an extravert become an introvert and vice-versa after a sudden spiritual realization?

[@TheScaryGermanGuy]

According to the gurus the ego exists, because awareness has identified itself with the body-mind. Nevertheless every body-mind has a personality. This is supported by astrology. If the ego is no more then you can see the real personality of that body-mind.

[@justin5033]

In my opinion the ego exists because you are conditioned that way by society but it also plays a role in survival The ego only takes in a limited amount of awareness/consciousness so you dont have to burn more energy and soak in more than needed to survive So in my opinion the ego is a combination of social conditioning, parents, television, school, and also a survival thing

[@AKnightsword]

Because the extroverted "self" is a false representation of the true nature of the Self and the same goes for the introverted "self". Both come to the center where both are one. When the Self wakes up out of the false ID's it's almost as though it's being born again and it feels as though you realize that you aren't in fact that false "self." So the realization of this true self is that perhaps it is both quiet and extroverted in serenity and both parties, seemingly separate, find that both ideas are true and you will discover why this is so when you have that spiritual realization.

[@dyannenesty8624]

At 11.55, I thought OMG, (l o n g silence), Rupert doesn't know the answer to this question......!

[@adunnou2075]

Dyanne Nesty ok

[@daudimwanzia8478]

There is no silence to go back to at home.

[@tadficuscactus]

I'm shy and it sux, I really hate it. It is really restricting and disempowering.

[@AdnanTahimi]

shyness can be an expression of the ego trying to protect our self-image Another form is the ego trying to aggrandize itself by being extrovert

[@MrCeppino]

a rising tide lifts all boats!

[@MUSICOBLISS]

💛

[@Johannes_Brahms65]

I'm always longing for rest but actively looking for excitement. It's quite a challenge to find peace in turbulance, to rest in excitement. I guess the first word of this comment is always the cause of all these issues. Besides, i heard that you can be addicted to cortisol. (Now i turned into a you...)

[@Misslotusification]

Yes, addicted to thrillism, as Vernon Howard calls the excitements we fill our life with, one thing after the other.............

[@officialwavydavy9442]

Just found out iv been a shy extrovert 😅

[@cherryblossom8282]

You can

[@movahedmosavi1596]

❤

[@sajdinkhan9049]

This is mental conditioning that one gotten into, once his intellect starts perceiving self as an ego with all its goddamn insecurities.

[@adamsoullier563]

so confusing my head hurts.

[@sajor1847]

The true self has no qualities like shyness because the false self doesn't exist. There is no self other than the true self "Awareness "

[@KREN12623]

🙏🙏🙏👍🙏🙏🙏

[@Mihalych179]

🙏🙏🙏👍👍👍🌹🌹🌹

[@esneliamunoz5082]

🕉🕉🕉

[@goodsirknight]

But why this?

[@Johannes_Brahms65]

The word is extravert, not extrovert. Rupert pranounced it correctly but wrate it wrongly.

[@jackmabel6067]

"Rupert pranounced it correctly but wrate it wrongly." LOVE THE JOKE! Thanks!

[@lindaj71]

Shyness is genetic.

[@gwenniemay2304]

Thank you 🙏🏽