The Magnus Protocol 12 - Getting Off

CAT1RB4728-09032024-13032024 Mascot (kids) / frenzy [insurance claim]
Incident Elements: - Mascots - Bonzo - Graphic Violence - Mentions of: blood, dismemberment Transcripts: shorturl.at/gzF15 This episode is dedicated from Thomas Cardona to Amanda, thank you for your generous support! You can a complete list of our Kickstarter backers rustyquill.com... Created by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J Newall Directed by Alexander J Newall Written by Alexander J Newall Script Edited with additional material by Jonathan Sims Executive Producers April Sumner, Alexander J Newall, Jonathan Sims, Dani McDonough, Linn Ci, and Samantha F.G. Hamilton Associate Producers Jordan L. Hawk, Taylor Michaels, Nicole Perlman, Cetius d’Raven, and Megan Nice Produced by April Sumner Featuring (in order of appearance) Shahan Hamza as Samama KhalidLowri Ann Davies as Celia RipleyBillie Hindle as Alice DyerAnusia Battersby as Gwendolyn BouchardAlexander J Newall as Norris Dialogue Editor - Lowri Ann Davies Sound Designer - Tessa VroomMastering Editor - Catherine Rinella Music by Sam Jones (orchestral mix by Jake Jackson) Art by April Sumner SFX from Soundly, Freesound (CCO): vladnegrila, and previously credited artists Support us on Patreon at / rustyquill Check out our merchandise available at www.redbubble.... and www.teepublic.... Join our community: WEBSITE: rustyquill.com FACEBOOK:  therustyquill TWITTER: @therustyquill REDDIT: reddit.com/r/RustyQuill EMAIL: [e-mail] The Magnus Protocol is a derivative product of the Magnus Archives, created by Rusty Quill Ltd. and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share alike 4.0 International Licence.

[@Sky-nq9pw]

"You know its rude to eavesdrop?" "You know its rude to have absolutely no game?" Sis, go easy on this man. You killed him

[@stripedgillette3580]

She's being a little rude tho

[@Sky-nq9pw]

@@stripedgillette3580 its a love language

[@glumbortango7182]

​@@stripedgillette3580 You're being a little rude, It's rude to eavesdrop you know? 👁

[@graysonfisher9182]

As a grave shift worker I really appreciated that little moment of confusion between Sam and Celia about what qualifies as dinner. That's a conversation I have every single night. Is this meal, taken at twelve at night, lunch or dinner? Midnight snack? When we show up to work do we say good morning, good evening, or good night? When we leave at five in the morning do we say "see you tomorrow" or "see you later today"? That little touch somehow made me connect with Sam and Celia more than any previous characterization.

[@neongrey333]

yeah its been ages since i was on overnights but i loved my post-work breakfast

[@aisleetennyson5000]

and like its so exhausting too because if you go out with your coworkers for breakfinner (breakfast? dinner?) on a friday norning (night? morning?) you basically screw yourself over for the next "day" because youre exhausted and you go to sleep at 10 am and sleep until 6. as a tired night shift worker i absolutely adore all of the little details put into the show, and as silly as it is, it makes me feel better about working nights.

[@kaitlynmorgan4613]

my mind simplifies it cause a big meal is ur dinner to me. if u eat 2 meals a day and the first is in the morning, id call it lunch and the second dinner. if you leave work at 5am, youd say "see you later" to your coworkers. unless u prefer saying "goodnight" cause youll be going to sleep once youre home. if you arrive to work in the morning, u say "morning," in the evening or afternoon u say "evening" or "afternoon"

[@goatanarchy69]

Mr Bonzo talks like a goddamn pokemon amazing

[@elliesteele2027]

Mr Mime's on his way.

[@bublesXD]

Bonzo bonzo ❤

[@damianahmadi5433]

@@elliesteele2027 Mr Mime is on his way he wants your mom and he wants to stay

[@SuperClass3000]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who was like I know they didn't do this😂😂

[@najhoant]

He’s supposed to be based on the British TV character Mr. Blobby, who talks the same way

[@excusemeprincess8252]

Love it when a notification called ‘getting off’ appears on my lock screen

[@bugjams]

The Fandom is certainly no Stranger to getting off

[@gretablackwell495]

@bugjams i’d rather not think about how the Stranger gets off actually

[@scottbrowne9024]

​@@gretablackwell495 too late now we've thought about it

[@c4tb0t5]

​@@gretablackwell495probably with lots of lotion and circus ambiance

[@glumbortango7182]

Did you love opening it up only to be met with Mr. Bonzo?

[@reeddiereed]

"jesus christ...." "i go by alice now, actually!" OMG I LOVE HER

[@sumitrana2420]

Imagine if she is canonically an revered figure who is hiding by living like a normal person but doing an abnormal job

[@reeddiereed]

THAT WOULD BE SICK AS HELL goddess/eldritch horror alice my beloved

[@Vexxed_MC]

She's literally such a queen I went from gaping in horror to wheezing like a maniac so fast 😭

[@krishadyn5211]

@@sumitrana2420 A revered figure who's actually a massive a-hole? Sounds right.

[@glumbortango7182]

​@@sumitrana2420​​ She has some of the Dark about her, I'd believe it if her willful ignorance gets her out of this mess somehow

[@Yumeki-san]

I bet it was a memorable wedding

[@dewcrownedmuse]

real lol 😭

[@OpenBiolabsGuy]

A red wedding.

[@najhoant]

They’ve really sped up the pacing this time around. With Archives, it could be weeks, months or even seasons until something from one statement appeared or was explained in a later episode. Here, Mr. Bonzo was introduced in one episode and then had a major reappearance just two episodes later

[@azcdtixs]

I mean...instead of getting 200 eps we're js getting (probably) 90 eps only

[@sumitrana2420]

One of the reasons is that all the files are mostly in the past, but this one is recent so one can think of it as those live statements that seem to happen. And since OIAR collects data from everywhere it has quickly access to every situation while TMI was dependent on one of the survivors going directly to them specifically.

[@Archiv1st]

@@azcdtixsisn’t it more like 120 episodes? As long as the seasons stay the same length

[@azcdtixs]

@@Archiv1st not sure so dont really take it seriously but i heard or read somewhere (i dont remember) that tmagp will be 3 seasons long, 30 eps each.

[@Matheus-ql7mn]

​​@@azcdtixs and this is more terrifying than any statement/case 😢 Only 90??? Only 3 seasons? Noooooooo

[@thatjeff7550]

I do love the subtle creepy factor that we're listening in on these folks through some sort of surveillance system that some other entity is using to keep track of these people.

[@Sky-nq9pw]

Almost like thats an trope present since tma... hmmmmm

[@Vexxed_MC]

Well, that certainly explains Colin's deal with the cameras then

[@kaitlynmorgan4613]

similar to the tape recorders following people around, except the cameras(?) have always been present (as in not manually on like when jon would record statements) in tmp

[@silas-whatever]

What's more, I don't even think it's a specific entity, I think it's either Augustus or Chester specifically spying on them

[@edmcsteve2156]

Starting to think Jonny Sims has Mr Blobby trauma

[@kid_monkee]

Who wouldn’t honestly

[@alphasword5541]

those damn 90s kids and their mr blobby trauma. gen z would welcome him with open arms

[@cas3268]

THEY'RE DOING WHAT TO BONZO

[@elliesteele2027]

My question is: why is the groom the one Mr Bonzo is being sent after? Was he secretly a dangerous avatar, someone who crossed the OIAR, or just an easy victim with a fear of getting torn apart by big mascots?

[@joeb8935]

I’ve been thinking that the way the externals work may be that the OIAR is essentially feeding them to keep them from going to wild Going off that logic, the fact that the groom and his buddies were seemingly fans of Mr bonzo may be what’s important. Like, it effectively made them a more “filling” meal

[@Fpink202new]

hold on a sec- so far a lot of these have been about obsession/love- so them being fans and getting an actual visit by bonzo tracks really well

[@krishadyn5211]

@@joeb8935 Yeah, I wondered if the reason the woman didn't get completely eaten was because she didn't really know him.

[@johanblaauw6725]

​@@krishadyn5211actually a great point.

[@ViridianForests]

@@joeb8935 Maybe it's more filling to go from "love" to "fear", because the strength of the emotional swing is so much stronger than from "general unknown" to "fear". Like the fear is just that much more profound, or richer, because it comes from a place where there was no fear at all so there's more to squeeze out of them? Makes me think about some of the tma episodes where the person being taken was originally someone who loved the thing that takes them. Like the skydiver who suddenly experienced Actual Fear of the vast and was then eaten by it. Instead of purely going after those who already fear them, making people grow into the fear also seems to be a trend. Hm, hopefully we'll get some answers eventually!

[@hades_head_empty]

okay but like either alice is really good at acting spooky, or she really does know and is a master of coping with humor. tbh she's giving gertrude vibes, almost intentionally not filing things correctly, and not listening to the horrors. she might not be joking that she used to meet with external liasons, and she gave up that position after it got to be too much. it might be why she still has a job, because they have to keep her there now that she knows. theorizing go brrrr

[@chs9999]

IT'S SPOOK O'CLOCK ON A THURSDAY MORNING MAGNUS TIME

[@Zookeykni]

i swear it sounds like alice whispering "mine." at the beginning of the episode. if we get monster yandere alice i think that'd be pretty cool

[@Atari_01]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

[@q.235]

in the stripped club... straight jorking it.. and by "it", heh,..... lets just say.. my bonzo

[@leolion3323]

Best comment

[@pandoriasbox]

hello you tumblrina

[@jatziberoja04]

This is the earliest I have been to an episode

[@NovaStella_]

Between this and “Magnussy” Oh dear heavens…

[@CamilleChauTempsDesCerises]

Now that we're all aware of the "people are lying" sound, I love to pay attention and notice it

[@somenerdwhowrites6566]

Out earlier today? Hell yeah! That makes listening during school a lot easier for me lol

[@BelbyB]

Oh man I'm so glad I tuned in, Mr. Bonzo's on his way 👀

[@pyrosianheir]

Well... guess we know whose name Gwen delivered. O.o

[@TheAntiChristsPlusOne]

Can’t wait to listen! Edit: The title 🤨 Edit:we love a considerate king Edit: Sam x Celia??? Edit: Alice leave him alone :( Edit: ALICE- 😭 Edit: no you ain’t stop lying my bro Edit: I knew it (the static) Edit: NORRIS!!!!! Edit: Jack?? 👀 Edit: the girls are fightingggg Edit: why does the description say bonzo Edit: oh god no Edit: OH GOD NO Edit: STOP CHANTING BONZO Edit: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BONZO STOOOOOOOOOOOOOP Edit: WHY AM I STILL LISTENING TO THISSSSSS Edit: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Edit: HELL NAWWWWWWWWWW Edit: Bonzo you play too much Edit: ALICE- 😭😭😭 Edit: Gwen x Alice for the win Edit: Alice?? Edit: ALICE?? Edit: Ohhhhhhh

[@Q-werty30]

Perfect description of the episode

[@denisehuston2573]

I love these fucking dorks so much.

[@Hermes3xGreat]

You can hear the grin when he reads the title.

[@Thesmolestgod]

Today is now a great day new tmp just dropped

[@basilisk5855]

12:25 Distortions you say? How curious:33

[@talamorales1059]

This is one of their best episodes I like this one a lot

[@Ech_The_Sentiant]

*_implodes with excitement_*

[@dewcrownedmuse]

gasp! an episode before 10 (cst) 😨

[@itsgreyfaayy]

I’m never this early!! Shot out of bed to start my day with emotional support horrors

[@abigailbaldwin4224]

Alice sounds like an absolute nightmare to work with, but i can't help but love her anyway

[@huntercharleston5812]

Something that ive noticed about the titles of the episodes is that not only do they relate to the case, but they often relate to the events and experiences of the main characters. Soooo.... this episode is called "getting off" in reference to the court. On an unrelated note, good luck on your date with Celia, Sam.

[@robloggia]

Alice must have worn a skirt to work today or she would have burst in to flames during that conversation with Gwen.

[@Benjamin-mj9pd]

When I heard getting off I was thinking of something else, but this is fine. I’m good with it.

[@cosplayerkittie]

Alice seems like she is purposely acting out to try to keep sams attention off not just the awful cases that she saw were effecting him but also keep him from any other person he might end up with romantically

[@krishadyn5211]

Alice goes out of her way to be the center of attention to people she supposedly hates. Sure, they're setting up a Alice-loves-Sam-but-Alice-is-really-bad-at-romance-and-destroys-it-then-pines-over-it scenario, feeling jealous of whomever her ex moves on to--but she also does the LOOK AT ME PAY ATTENTION with every other person too. Though she was oddly reticent with Celia. Maybe guessing that Sam would fall for her, and not wanting to immediately look like a bad guy. If Celia is dirty, here to infiltrate and manipulate someone like Sam, I predict Alice figuring it out first, then it getting misconstrued as jealousy.

[@teddieprox2307]

Did the schedule change ??

[@liasgreentea5555]

Sam: you know is rude to eardrop? Alice: you know is rude to have absolutely NO game? I thought she was gonna say 'no bitches' She ate him up so bad, my queen

[@neongrey333]

ok but that is one of the greatest evils that ever existed

[@harrycullen6515]

I fucking love Alice so much

[@someoneawesome8717]

Ok but what if Alice is actually NOT being sarcastic? What if all the highest level government officials actually ARE paranormally influenced and she's in on it? No one believes the truth when it sounds crazy

[@CamilleChauTempsDesCerises]

Did we all summon Mr.Bonzo when we listened to this song the 1st?

[@etienneporras7252]

In Alice's defense, MAG 189 did reveal that Parliament was an Avatar of the Eye all along so....

[@krishadyn5211]

Pff that was just a domain

[@katg5746]

Alice is a total savage 😂 love it

[@scottbrowne9024]

I get to listen before work? Yeet!

[@SaYhITOme253]

I havent listened, but i want to say i have had a very short week and did not realize the day- Edit: just saw the warning, wtf. Edit: alice, why are you so angry- Edit: norris!!!! Edit: sueing your asses- lmao- Edit: i dont like blood- Edit: damn- Edit: gwen :< Edit: also, yesterday i was reading something and halfway through the mr bonzo theme started ringing in my ears. Pain.

[@calvinwood7048]

Oh my god what the fuck

[@vee-682]

DYHARD IS REAL

[@yeahok8259]

If they didn’t lose their dominant hand, why did they make a comment about their handwriting…? I may be missing something lol

[@raspberryjam]

Hard to hold the paper, I imagine

[@quantumblauthor7300]

Gorilla attack

[@AlexDeMiro]

What is the actual date of the show, in-universe? Because I don't think the bachelor party was the target that Gwen delivered to Mr Bonzo... I think it was just a side thing. And I think, the real target is going to be Colin, to get him to stop snooping and sneaking around.

[@Salvage5681]

you can look at the magnus protocol wiki they have dates for when the incident happens and when it gets categorized

[@OpenBiolabsGuy]

Alice is going to die eventually. They’re going to try to make us feel bad about it, but it’ll be hard for me to feel bad for Alice. Always rude. Always pushing people’s boundaries trying to make them feel horrible. Miserable troll who projects her misery into other people. The kind of person in a horror movie who you can’t wait for the monster to kill.

[@Rose-ghostsnflowers]

Are you genuinely frim a culture where her sort of comedy isn't the norm? Her behavior is absolutely normal for every friend group I've had in the decade. Nobody trying to be miserable, hell they're some of the most loyal, ride or die shitheads I've ever been blessed to have in my life. Like, sincerely, these sort of comments confuse me because Alice's behavior is the sort I see in friendships of multiple years.

[@Geesaroni]

@@Rose-ghostsnflowers It really depends on whether you've experienced it or not, I think. If you've befriended the kind of person who is a shithead but lifts people up and helps them through hard times, Alice feels like that kind of person. If you haven't encountered That Asshole Who Nonetheless Picks You Back Up, Alice probably feels like, well, just a shithead.

[@krishadyn5211]

@@Rose-ghostsnflowers The Friendly Shithead is a sitcom trope but its not someone people welcome in real life. Your culture might be different (British). Seriously, I am in complete agreement with the first poster, in my culture, she's the one who the audience looks forward to their spectacular death. Its not played for trauma, because people don't care about a shithead's death. It's meant to traumatize a nicer person who sees it or discovers their body. Alice is too prominent to be Sasha'ed though, her end will probably be bigger. Hopefully she comes back as a bad guy.

[@Rose-ghostsnflowers]

@krishadyn5211 yeah sounds like a culture thing. Where I'm from, this is just how close friends are. Nobody I know irl views her negatively. In fact, she's a lpt of people's favorite because she reminds us of our friends and humor. Weirdly, I've seen a lot of British folks riding Gwen despite her being just a straight-up shithead without the friendly. I wonder how much people would still adore her if she wasn't a Boachard.

[@dewcrownedmuse]

Slowly, awfully slowly, it raised its head, tilting it 🩷^᪲𝑐𝑜𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑙𝑦𐙚 ๋࣭ ⭑ to one side.

[@leonkennedy7638]

Alice? Now I understand why this gets less and less views.

[@thedistinguished5255]

norris got that "look at the sky martin" sort of underlying cheer when describing the gore part

[@thedistinguished5255]

i cant help but wonder if its intentional or its just the writer giddy at what they wrote

[@fourkings7968]

*Sees title* *Lowers glasses* Oh my.

[@i-eat-rusty-nails]

George Takei reference in the wild frfr

[@Ren_zilla-12]

i think it speaks to the sanity of the fandom that when an episode is early even by a little bit, the entire fandom freaks out. we need help fr

[@azcdtixs]

Weekly eps is not enough, the hunger is real (we might be eye avatar at this point)

[@OctopusOwl]

@@azcdtixsthe Audience should be it’s own Entity, and we are one of its many hungry extensions.

[@TheAntiChristsPlusOne]

@@OctopusOwlremember when they played quiplash and someone put “fandom” as a new fear entity? I’m seeing what they mean

[@sabrabarker6253]

When an episode is early...it is clearly a fear at work 😆

[@ThatOneArchivist]

@@sabrabarker6253 web

[@markogolem9537]

WOAH THEY'RE DOING WHAT NOW????

[@Sky-nq9pw]

Damn bisexuals!

[@blueup7552]

the devil works hard but tmagp listeners work harder (I'm listening to this in the middle of a lesson)

[@chs9999]

Dude same

[@MemeKid-fm6lh]

Real as fuck, bro

[@lemmetalkaboutthis]

not me, totally not listening and writing a page-long comment while at work, nooo....

[@rue6914]

Go practice or else Mr Bonzo will rip your balls off

[@edgarallennope]

thumping my fists on the table over and over: VISCERA! VISCERA! VISCERA!

[@Sky-nq9pw]

Bonzo is such a Hunt, Slaughter, Stranger and Flesh avatar. Truly a magnificant work of art

[@this_MIGHT_be_Fritz]

@@Sky-nq9pw THATS LITERALLY WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS ENTIRE TIME

[@drinkerofpaint]

​@@Sky-nq9pw maybe a tad of corruption for the gross puss boils

[@Sky-nq9pw]

@@this_MIGHT_be_Fritz No literally, bro is just the unlawful child of a four entitty orgy. Hell you could even desolation in because of the state he leaves the scene in

[@lazygravy_brook]

I honestly think he's more Slaughter, considering the musical ties

[@leolion3323]

episode title: "Getting Off" subject: Mr Bonzo ...yeah they get us

[@TheNitpickChick]

🤣

[@Sky-nq9pw]

Nothing is untwinkable, Mr. Newall

[@allofus1002]

Spoilers. "Throwing fistfuls of them aside" is one of the simplest, most graphic descriptors I think I've ever heard.

[@OctopusOwl]

It’s so casually horrifying, knowing that Bonzo’s grip strength is stronger than naturally stretchy, yielding flesh. It’s akin to an industrial machine, casually doing its job, just accidentally dismantling the people nearby.

[@junoismad]

i love tma for those simple lines. they are just so graceful at being absolutely subtly terrifying

[@a_jae_doe]

And the "I know why there was no bodies" bit goes so _hard_

[@lemnon_citrus8711]

I was happily listening to my weekly dose of horrors until it got me like: "Alice??? ALICE??!!?! WHAT THE FU-- oh.." *They played us like a... cheap whistle.*

[@sumitrana2420]

I still she does know about this for more than anyone but is just humour as a defence mechanism

[@kingfisherc9608]

I don’t get it

[@matheusribeiro4733]

​@@kingfisherc9608 its their reaction to Alice's joke at the end. "Wait, SHE KNOWS?! OMG SHE KNOW SOMETHI- oh."

[@sumitrana2420]

@@matheusribeiro4733 To be honest, the UK government is very sinister if they are funding this place.

[@comradethalia5491]

I mean, Alice is right, though.

[@shawnmiller7240]

"[...] It's all part of a grand plan to satisfy one of the most unspeakable evils known to mankind... the UK government." ... foreshadowing: noun.: a literary device used to hint at or allude to future plot developments

[@elliesteele2027]

This insurance claim was denied due to not matching with up with the police report of the incident. Looks like Section 31 (or this universe's equivalent) might be coming in and keeping certain things off the record.

[@ThatOneArchivist]

worrying.

[@valeriyav2149]

Poor Sam, having a crush on a girl from another dimension. I love Gwen and Alice's dynamic a lot. A tiny little friendly development made me smile. Mr Bonzo is fun. For whatever reason, imagining this mascot dismembering people just makes me think of entertaining trash horror movies. I wonder if OAIR are "feeding" all fears or just special cases. Also, I miss Needle-man. How is he doing? Has he "hugged" that 911 operator already or not?

[@TheNitpickChick]

GodDAYUM Mr. Bonzo is horrific! ...I love it! 😃 (Also, it's nice to hear Gwen be affected by learning about the results of giving the name & address to Mr. Bonzo. She still has a conscience. I hope she doesn't lose that.)

[@nastiatonkaia]

I believe she can get an arc similar to Jon's. It's just a guess (and I'm pretty late, sorry), but mb she too will have to acquiesce she is a part of a horrible system and she will refuse to leave even though she knows it's terrible. Circumstances are obviously different, but their situations are quite similar to me

[@ameliacrowther-davies6458]

I FELL OUT OF A TREE TO PRESS PLAY ON THIS

[@horizonpenblade1288]

Are you okay??

[@ameliacrowther-davies6458]

@@horizonpenblade1288 yeah i'm fine XD knocked the wind out myself but other than that i'm good :)

[@misskitty9333]

lol good job

[@OctopusOwl]

Entirely normal and rational response.

[@moltenlefty92]

Hey in all seriousness be careful falling out of a tree can lead to serious injuries

[@ApioFluorescente]

I can't wrap my mind around the fact this very serious, madly well written horror podcast is making me listen to THE ADVENTURES OF MR BONZO, THE FIVE NIGHT'S AT FREDDY'S CREEPYPASTA UK GOVERMENT HITMAN.

[@glocrowhurst]

what I REALLY can't wrap my mind around is that Mr. Bonzo is basically identical to a horrifying UK clown that actually exists, except for the murders... ....maybe.

[@hannahwatts8247]

I told myself I should take a break from this podcast after dreaming I was stuck in an elevator with a guy turning into a lump of flesh..... but I'm hooked. The writing is just so immaculate, the dread I felt when she was describing Mr. Bonzo's chant ... I originally started the Magnus archives for some background noise while crafting, but with the way it`s written, you can't help but be immersed in the story. it compels you to pay attention. incredibly well done.

[@silverquill101]

Stuck in en elevator with a man turning into a lump of flesh DOES sound like a statement

[@matheusribeiro4733]

👁 Statement of Hanna Whatts, regarding a abnormal encounter with a man in an elevator. Statement took directed from subject, on April 18 of 2024. Statemant begins.

[@hannahwatts8247]

@@matheusribeiro4733 It was stupid of me to take the elevator that day, I never do. The one in my building is small, rickety, and cramped, not to mention poorly air-conditioned. Honestly, the death trap could double as an oven in the summer or a freezer in the winter. And the sound it would make… it almost sounded as if it was groaning in pain. I normally take the stairs, paranoid that if I took the lift something would break, and I would end up in a freefall that would leave me as nothing more but a splattered pile of flesh, left to rot in a metal box. But I was running late that evening, I had promised to help my sister move and figured speed was more important than indulging my fear. When I stepped inside and saw…. Him in the corner I figured he was high, his eyes were bloodshot and he seemed a bit out of it. I gave him a polite nod as the doors slid closed……we didn't move. I frowned, pushing the button for the first floor. Nothing happened.

[@hannahwatts8247]

After about ten minutes of trying to get the damn thing to in some way work, I started to panic, I tried getting the doors to open back up, I flipped the emergency switch and I pressed every button on that control panel to no avail. nothing was working, and I was frantic. Sure that at any moment I would be shooting downward to my death. An odd wet squelching sound came from the corner of the cab followed by a thud, I turned in shock, I had forgotten about the man in the corner. I will never be able to forget him now, I can picture it so clearly his face had...melted? No, it was more like his skin had loosened, hanging off his face, melding with his neck, and flopping back onto his shoulders as he flailed about trying to push the skin back into the shape it once held. He was trying to scream, but all that came out of him were pained, cut-off whimpers as the anatomy used for human speech was crushed, as what used to be his throat transformed into nothing but squishy bloated tissue that spilled out of him. His lungs wheezed out bits of air as they were oh so slowly folded into that formless mass. I screamed and screamed, as I struggled to find a way out, to distance myself from the hungry flesh that was slowly seeping out of his clothes and onto the floor. I tried not to look at him as I did so, tried to ignore the sounds that reminded me of the ice cracking when it began to thaw in early spring, somehow, I knew what that meant, the flesh was eating his bones, and when it was done it would come for mine. I knew then, knew that there was no escape, I could scream and cry and break my nails trying to get those damn metal doors to open as much as I liked but I was going to die there, in the cramped metal box I had always hated, I gave up in the end. I curled around myself in a tight ball with my eyes tightly shut and waited for what felt like days...for it to find me, to consume me, to become me. And then ... the elevator moved, and just as I felt the feverishly warm touch of firm flesh on my foot the doors slid open.

[@hannahwatts8247]

There was a scream and I kicked the thing away from me scrambling toward the horrified couple and out of that horrible thing that had almost cost me my life. Away from the thing that had cost the poor man his. And so here I am. The police didn't believe me, they told me to get my brain checked. Apparently, their opinions trump those with medical degrees. I didn't even get checked before they dismissed it as a mere hallucination. I doubt you'll believe me either. I am not insane, even if sometimes I wish I was, so that I could go around with the hope that the starving flesh didn't consume all that the man once was, because it wasn't real. It couldn't have almost gotten me, because it was just in my head.. What a wonderful, lovely lie. It would be comforting in a way, if that were true. But it isn't true, it was real. That man who haunts my dreams was a real person, not a hallucination. A person with brown bloodshot eyes and crooked teeth. I AM NOT insane, I know that. Well... that's all I have to say, I wasn't going to come here at all really but, well, I figured I owed it to that man, to let someone know what became of him. Statement ends

[@caramel9154]

'getting off' in the title and 'bonzo' in the description.. i think we all know where this is going. to court.

[@helinedmightbehere]

HDASHHWEYIFHW

[@thedistinguished5255]

I don't know how, but you used the wrong formula and got the correct answer

[@hamburgerdog25]

I love how Bonzo is the trigger warning

[@hamburgerdog25]

​@@thedistinguished5255🤣🤣🤣

[@rilio32]

​@hamburgerdog25 honestly though now that we have a good baseline it will be very useful knowing he's in an episode before listening lmaoo

[@reeddiereed]

finally, my favourite genre of episodes of this absolutely perfectly normal podcast - graphic descriptions of absolutely horrendous violence and also а survivor's guilt as a treat! i am so normal about this!!

[@drinkerofpaint]

I didn't know a lil bit of Alice Gwen friendship would make me so happy

[@maximusthedude8305]

I love Alice but she's WAAAAY too mean to Gwen. She's a little stuck up sure but she'd probably relax a bit if she wasn't constantly antagonised. It'd be nice if they got along better eventually.

[@hamburgerdog25]

​@@maximusthedude8305I think thats where this is going. I imagine she actually did truly appreciate Alice's humor at the end there. But I'm betting they're going to have a real argument, real everything on the table moment before they truly become friends

[@urdadsleftasshole69]

i ship them tbh

[@TheNitpickChick]

Damn! A _brutal_ one! (and absolutely fantastic!) 1. Sam and Celia are cute! But I'm guessing that Celia is trying not to get too attached, since she's not originally from this dimension, and she'll eventually be trying to return to the original one. Don't think it passed my notice that their date is on Saturday... at six... mentioned in a Mr. Bonzo related episode? Cheeky little detail. lol Hopefully it's not foreshadowing anything... 😥 2. 5:01 I heard that static when you said "Nope" to still potentially being tempted, Sam. Liar. lol I really need to go back and listen closer to previous episodes, because that little audio static is a really good lie detector... 3. Mr. Bonzo is absolutely horrific and fascinating! Another new avatar/monster that doesn't fit neatly into only one Fear. Bonzo is obviously a mascot, so Stranger, but he's sent as a hitman, which says Hunt and/or Slaughter (plus he seems to be summoned by his music, which is another point for Slaughter), and then he eats his victims, which is typically Flesh, and he has pustules on his body that leak foul liquid when punctured, which gives Corruption vibes as well. (I know Smirke's 14 is no longer completely accurate to this new world, which is why the OIAR is using such an intricate and detailed categorization system instead, but I can't help but still use the original 14 to give myself context for things) 4. It was good to hear Gwen being affected by the statement, knowing that she, although unknowingly, sent Mr. Bonzo after this stranger, and was inadvertently responsible for the collateral damage inflicted on the others, as well. I'd be shaken too! It was also nice to hear Alice pick up on Gwen's emotional state and trying to check in on her, genuinely concerned. 5. Gwen is starting to question everything! I'm here for it! Maybe she'll team up with Colin, to try and figure out what the OIAR are actually up to, and what's actually going on!!! 😃

[@this_MIGHT_be_Fritz]

It's not just the static on the cctv cams, if you listen closely to some of the other episodes you can actually hear that FR3-d1 (Freddy) makes a small noise like a beep when someone lies. Even in this episode you can hear that when Alice is describing to Gwen what the point to all of it is. Through that entire scene you can hear FR3-d1 is beeping and making shifting noises.

[@lemmetalkaboutthis]

I'm so used to the slow pace, ti took me until AFTER the "statement" to realize this is the dude from Gwen's letter that she delivered to Mr.Bonzo lmao Also, yeah, these cases are all mixes of the 14, it's kinda annoying when people try to fit it into jsut one category/fear I wonder if they work the same as the 14 tho, being shaped by people's perception of them - and since the OIAR just has all these really fine categories, maybe that means there's no real over-arching "fears" or similar, and just a bunch of singular monsters instead probably too early to really tell tho A Gwen and Colin team-up sounds hilarious, I'm all for it

[@GarethOfByzantium]

5. Does Alice ACTUALLY know?

[@TheNitpickChick]

@@GarethOfByzantium Hard to say for sure. She’s worked there the longest, of the current group, so I’m sure she has her suspicions. However, she also seems to know that the best thing for her personal safety and sanity is to keep her head down and not ask too many prying questions, so she probably doesn’t know too many details.

[@hamburgerdog25]

​@@lemmetalkaboutthis I just now had a thought about that because I'm pretty sure Smirke's 14 dont apply here like they do in TMA. What if, and hear me out, all of the "fears" are just the trigger warnings for the episode? Like I think in TMA the trigger warnings actually name the fear as well as the contents of it. So I wonder if the TWs here are both contents and themes and thats what we will use to determine the "fears" of TMP

[@Vickyeverythingelsewastaken]

I'll stick by my ritual of cooking a dinner for these uploads, no matter how hard you make it! But it truly was an unfortunate time for spaghetti with meatballs...

[@cae2212]

I applaud your fighting spirit

[@erinbathie-moore8478]

Oh you poor sod 😂😂

[@dragonicdoom3772]

My current theory is that unlike in the previous universe where the government didn't get too directly involved in the supernatural, this universe's government is taking more direct action towards the Fears. I think they discovered the Fears and came to the conclusion that they couldn't be stopped and instead created the OIAR to manage them as best they can. The Assessment Department collects and assesses incidents of the Fears' activities before categorising them so another team can work out which Fears are being "underfed". Then they contact the Response Department who finds a suitable victim and tells one of the externals (monsters and avatars) to terrorise them, with the external being chosen based on which Fear is "underfed". For example, Mr Bonzo seems to be aligned with The Slaughter (sudden violence and brutality accompanied by music) so there was likely a lack of Slaughter-related incidents. Gwen delivered the letter containing the victim's name and address, which led to the incident we got in this episode and thus The Slaughter was fed.

[@nastiatonkaia]

Seems pretty accurate, tho I can't get how humanity benefits from it? Sure, supervising and investigating these cases is a wise thing to do, but why would the government feed the Fears?

[@dragonicdoom3772]

@@nastiatonkaia It's not so much that they benefit from it (though I don't doubt they use the Avatars to make certain individuals they don't like disappear), it's that monitoring them is better than doing nothing. Remember, the Fears can't be killed and killing Avatars and monsters (assuming they're the kind that CAN be killed) only slows them down. At least if they employ the Avatars, they can monitor them and direct their appetites to cause minimal damage.

[@elizabethpemberton8445]

Just a note, the “Dismemberment” warning is for real. Great episode, also very horrible.

[@horizonpenblade1288]

Is there an approximate timestamp for when the gore starts? 😬

[@twindrill2852]

@@horizonpenblade128812:50 is when it starts to happen.

[@zecat3727]

@@horizonpenblade1288 Begins at 13:00 and ends at 16:17 but do note that there will be one or two non-graphic (just factual) references to the aftermath of the gore up until 16:40 where they won't mention anything related to the gore following

[@horizonpenblade1288]

@@zecat3727 thanks!

[@HeirofAzaran]

This past weekend I was re-listening to this and I decided that I didn't like Gwen, because of how she treats everyone. It really makes me happy that in the next episode I listen to, I've developed some sympathy for her. Maybe this is the start of an arc.

[@comfybox]

A very interesting set of incident elements + *very interesting* title word choice! Can’t wait to hear what happens! (WHO PICKED THE TITLE?)

[@matthewgeorge9051]

For the first time since I finished The Magnus Archives... I'm shaking

[@darkmoon137]

Ok alice DEFINITELY knows more than shes letting on Boutta be some crazy ass reveal

[@dragonicdoom3772]

After Alice's joke about the UK government I feel like I should point out that in TMA's apocalypse all of London became a Domain of The Eye, and the OIAR is based in London. So even if the Magnus Institute isn't based in London in this universe, The Eye still has a strong connection to London and therefore the centre of the UK government.

[@poxl9222]

in the stripped club straight bonzing it

[@drinkerofpaint]

I kinda like that they're like just a tad more specific with the character descriptions / colour associations

[@drinkerofpaint]

WAIT DO YOU FUCKIN SUMMON MR BONZO IF YOU PLAY HIS FAVOURITE SONG BC THATS KIND OF A MOOD

[@Rietto]

Everyone who listened to the 1hr April Fool's loop is doomed.

[@this_MIGHT_be_Fritz]

@@Rietto Chat, how do I tell my family I'm about to be claimed by a flesh/stranger/hunt avatar and become mush? (asking for a friend)

[@elizabethpemberton8445]

Yeah, that April 1st drop was our own personal “I’m sorry for the deception…” ritual. Ooooooooooops………

[@leolion3323]

@@Rietto time for me to learn how to flirt with unspeakable horrors I suppose!

[@melphina98]

Alice low key knows what's up she's just knows better than to admit that she does even if it's just a feeling that something is very wrong with their "office job" also I felt really bad for Alice cus of the whole Cecilia thing with Sam. Perhaps she wanted to get back together with Sam but after him becoming possibly depressed after what am guessing .a accident that made him lose his grandparents and get really hurt possibly made him limp.she suggested a job with her to keep a eye on him so he could get out of the funk of being depressed and maybe rekindle the flame. But got that dream stomped out

[@elliesteele2027]

1:22 Pre-case 5:43 Case (Stranger) [Insurance claim: Norris] 17:01 Post-case

[@littlefish9825]

I know clowns and stuff are part of the Stranger's domain, but don't you think that this has at least some elements of the Flesh? There is quite a bit of gore, eating, and overall supernatural stuff done with flesh.

[@johnfolmer5412]

​@littlefish9825 why not both, that'd be par for the course for this series to have multiple entities connected to it.

[@soarel325]

@@littlefish9825 Also frenzied violence summoned by music, which is Slaughter...

[@littlefish9825]

@@johnfolmer5412 I wasn’t saying it wasn’t Stranger, although reading my comment over, it makes sense to conclude that that’s what I was saying. I was just saying that this case has elements of the Flesh. I do wonder, though, what the “primary” power of Bonzo’s is. Clowns are usually solidly part of the Stranger, but with this case specifically has mentions of stuff like grabbing fistfuls of people, and how the Gwen’s conversation with the boss had her talk about how the Bonzo “costume” was made of skin, it reminds me of the Flesh.

[@johnfolmer5412]

@littlefish9825 oh I absolutely get ya. Flesh is pretty strong in this one, and I feel the best way to get a headcannon for Bonzo in this sense would be to headcannon what Mr. Blobby would be related to. Cause I wouldn't say stranger, more like spiral than anything. Cause Blobby never operated off of uncanny valley (I mean sure he was intentionally creepy but that doesn't necessarily mean stranger) and what made him so unnerving was partly due to how crazy the guy in the costume would act.

[@etienneporras7252]

Who else thought of the Pallmall when they heard "Gentlemen's Club?". Is there a cathedral to the Fears under this Club too???

[@AlexDeMiro]

Huh, weird - the little static sound when someone lies (see 5:01, "Nope") doesn't register on the sound bar line on the lower right of the screen. It's weird, because all other mechanical sounds and static are visible on the sound bar.

[@Nuxxypuxxy]

NO WAY ITS OUT EARLIER

[@etienneporras7252]

Mostly because of TMA, I assumed Mr. Bonzo was Stranger. But I think more than anything else I think this podcast is showing us what happens when Fears work *together*. Stranger and Flesh all contained in the same, horrifying, entity.

[@belen.asteinle426]

So glad to have been part of the wedding that happened in April 1st

[@bublesXD]

What happened there im confused? Please answer 🥺

[@BelbyB]

The DJ was really on fire there wasn't he

[@belen.asteinle426]

@@bublesXD on April fool's the Magnus protocol uploaded the theme song of Mr.Bonzo (it was an hour long)

[@damianahmadi5433]

Gwen slowly realizing what that guy meant by "Things could have gone very badly" :I

[@damianahmadi5433]

Actually it makes me wonder if Needles is also an external...

[@Nikowo1610]

NOT THE NAME

[@bea-trix6545]

And days ago Alex uttered "Magnussy" on twitter lmaoo

[@junoismad]

i hate how i could hear the bonzo theme song because of that one hour remix which has etched itself in my brain, made this way more fucked up in a way. wonderful episode, also i know that "celia" doesnt have good intentions and probably just wants to get close to sam because of the whole archives obsession (and trip), but i loved that conversation so much, it would be so adorable if it was genuine. also alice my beloved, thats all

[@alisonlazarus4625]

"I'm afraid your fiance passed away last night. There was an incident during the bachelor party. " "Oh my God! What happened?" "Fuckin' clown"

[@alchemicpink2392]

The funniest twist would be that the beaurocracy of the UK gov actually was an Entity in this universe.

[@cybersearcher1041]

God Alice is the best character hands down

[@Rotten_Prince]

Fine, I'll listen to the Archives again

[@mareep5771]

Oh my god it’s Magnus Thursday!!! I forgot!!! Truly the best endings to my day,, things have been a bit hectic 4 me recently and I was just about to go to bed feeling bad!! Keep up the wonderful pods :-D

[@matthewclyburn2707]

I'm starting to think they are keeping the fears countered with a less negative emotion. Like the eye is in the computer, and Alice is actually super curious, but the eye is devouring it all. It doesn't need to freak out people with being watched. "I can just be the biggest mystery right out of her reach." She stays because she has to know, but the eye keeps devouring her curiosity before she finds the big clue. Then she backs out.