THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES #16 - Arachnophobia

MAG016 - Case #0150904 - Carlos Vittery
Statement regarding their arachnophobia and its manifestations.
The Magnus Archives tells the tale of a Londoner whose severe phobia of these creatures affects their living situation and highlights some of the steps taken to try stopping the haunting presence.
Starring: The Archivist - Jonathan Sims
Writer: Jonathan Sims
Director: Alexander J Newall
Editors: Alexander J Newall, Mike LeBeau, Murray Porter
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The Magnus Archives is distributed by RustyQuill.com and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International Licence.

[@zinabug7963]

IMPORTANT: THE CAT IS FINE. Major Tom will be just fine and no harm will come to him. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE CAT!

[@cmcoy5982]

Thanks! I dont care about spiders but if major tom got killed id lose it!

[@nonapplicable7093]

Bless you

[@keithcromwell8872]

You are a saint

[@randomdan1648]

Jon: I called major Tom and he didnt answear Me: it's dead isn't it Jon: he arrived once for a meal Me: oh thank christ

[@mackenziedillon295]

Thank you.

[@coreacartoonist]

I love how Jon records fully in character no matter how dumb he thinks the story is

[@therakshawolf]

Imagine if halfway though a statement he broke character with a sigh and very quietly said "for fuck sake..." 😂😂

[@chimedemon]

@@therakshawolf I think he was secretly enjoying it. A nice change of pace from the traumatizing Lost John's Cave recording

[@ZaphodJan]

The way he's so in character gives and takes away immersion for me at the same time

[@everythingcoffee8901]

@@ZaphodJan there's actually a plot-related reason for it, I won't say anymore bc major spoilers lol

[@carissa2985]

@@chimedemon it really was traumatizing holy crap I just listened to it and I'm just so uncomfy

[@vegussy]

I love how all the housecats in TMA are ranked military officials

[@just_a_cryptid]

They're just that good

[@daftodil589]

@@just_a_cryptid ah a fellow relistener, how goes your journey through this hallowed halls? i've started today

[@christianbethany]

​​​@@daftodil589 I started around 2019 and took my time. I think I only started binging these around season 3 and 4 though. Took a long break before I started season 5, and 8 episodes into it I was like. I love this too much. I'm not ready for this to end yet, I'm going back to the start. And I'm now thoroughly enjoying all the parts that went over my head on my first listen. How's your experience been, fellow listener, about 9 months in?

[@ambrose4947]

I love how this episode has a few thousand less views than the next episode. So many people took one look at this episode's title, went "Nope", and moved right on to the next one.

[@lel1160]

i did that the first time i listened to the show, i heard the summary "if you have a phobia, tma has an episode about it" and noped out as soon as i saw this ep title lmao i'm now on my first re-listen, how bad is it ? i fucken hate spiders and i know this one episode doesn't make or break the show but i kind of want to give it a go ?

[@ambrose4947]

@@lel1160 Depends on how badly you can't stand spiders. It focuses a lot on their movement, and an excessive awareness that there might be spiders nearby. There is also an incident with a spider egg sack. I think this is one of the more comical episodes because of the visceral *hatred* the statement giver has for spiders, but I'm not freaked out by them in any way, so take that with a grain of salt.

[@lel1160]

@@ambrose4947 ahh thank you so much for that, you're a legend, okay an egg sack ? Yeah I'm out 😂 I think I'm going to stick to my initial instinct and leave this one be !

[@InTheBocksez]

@@lel1160 good idea. I should have. I feel like they're all over me. brb gonna take a shower

[@lel1160]

@@InTheBocksez hahaha oh no !! godspeed my dude T-T

[@elliot8490]

Idk if this is worth mentioning but the part where the spiders remains were found on the piece of mug with an owl might be a reference to the greek goddess athena, the owl being one of her symbols. And as you may know from the myth of arachne, athena doesnt have a good history with spiders

[@someonessidechannel1485]

Knowing this type of series, no detail is too small to forget

[@maybe0rdinary]

OOH, i am HERE for this lore

[@nowhereman6019]

Wisdom overcomes fear.

[@Klee-Shea]

dude that is genius, I completely missed that and I'm a greek mythos nut.

[@odinseinherji9719]

I also made that connection when I first listened to this episode.

[@pakhitou5254]

-choked on organic things -wrapped in webs Jon: He's a fool

[@RelativelyBest]

Almost every episode be like: "This is clearly bullshit, _except_ for this one really spooky, apparently supernatural detail."

[@GiubileiFernando]

@@RelativelyBest "There's no evidence, except for all the evidence."

[@elizasnow9661]

Exactly with that woman at the cemetery lol. “This is bullshit, but there was that one piece of stone” and “this is bullshit, but his body was covered in webbing”

[@stalwartteakettlepotato9879]

The only story that got him concerned so far is the one that concerned the previous archivist Edit:considering what happens in later seasons ,this comment aged like a fine wine XD

[@minty7945]

@@stalwartteakettlepotato9879 yeah there was that, and episode 4 about the Leitner books. I'm a first-time listener though so there will probably be more

[@Maskami]

for anyone who's not scared of spiders this is the most unintentionally hilarious episode I've ever seen. >spider on the wall >CHUCKS A FULL COFFEE MUG AT IT >spider on the tv >KICKS TV RIGHT THROUGH THE SCREEN >cat sees all of this >'nope. you know what? nope. i'm out. this guy gonna see a spider on my ass and punt me through a window.' ground control to major tom, this bitch is crazy, please move out

[@AM-so3sc]

I AM scared of spiders and the episode is still hilarious

[@EmeraldMinotaur]

I love that I can hear Bowie singing that last line

[@holicandy01]

"Can you be haunted by the ghost of the spider that ruined your childhood?" Was só dramatic I loved it

[@RainbowUnicorn2005]

But no seriously I identify so much with that fear of seeing a spider so blatantly and arrogantly displaying itself upon the pale wall, as if upon a throne.

[@tristanrow4951]

Yeah, spiders are bros. Super funny from that perspective!

[@jonahsmith2543]

You just know Jon absolutely hates this statement

[@albuseisenhorn3385]

when you made this comment have you listened further into the series or is this the farthest you were?

[@dull_demon4717]

He probably does

[@mikey4617]

I think it’s really interesting looking back the way he dismisses the *glaringly obvious* evidence here, he had somewhat reasonable motives to dismiss the previous statements and all but here he absolutely does not so he just goes “nope. nuh uh. I refuse”

[@cryptiduprising6746]

The girl from episode 6 (squirm) is mentioned to to have lived on the same street this guy used to live on, and he mentioned that he didn't move very far away from that street … that worm outbreak suddenly got much more disturbing

[@JustCallMeEmily]

guess it's time for arson /j

[@frogonthebikeheh]

Oh shi-

[@leandronc]

Ha! I knew there had to be something about that worm infestation detail. The comment section is so helpful in this series.

[@anamitson6785]

Omg, people, how can your memory be so good? I see comments about details or names from previous episodes and just like "What? Whom?.Where?" I can't remember a name someone told me a minute ago. ༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽

[@mr.unhistory9128]

I KNEW THE WORMS WERE FROM THAT!!!! AAAH

[@mrfish5150]

i love how the cat just decided to move house

[@tearez13]

If the dude was smart he would have too after the second happening.

[@epsyblue7714]

@@tearez13 I don't think it matters. Sounds to me that the spider was following him.

[@CatwithaKnife12]

Cat: I'm out ✌️😌

[@TIGGYQUE]

The overdramatic human was infesting Tom's flat, I think that was the smartest move

[@MasterMagikarp]

Good on him

[@foodforfaeries]

Pov: you're listening to your non Australian friend describe their experience of seeing a small black house spider in the kitchen

[@elishaart4486]

Ik I’m late to the party but THIS COMMENT IS SO FUNNY JDJJSJSJSJSJD

[@aliceposa]

@@elishaart4486 good to see im not the only one finding this gem in 2023

[@elishaart4486]

@@aliceposa it is truly a gem, so many amazing episodes and the fandom is really cool too !!

[@Al-Ash]

I'm not australian but that is exactly what I thought the second he said he moved because of spiders. As someone who loves spiders, this episode was eerily funny to listen to.

[@kentonbaird1723]

Australian here. Yeah.... Every black house-spider ever. Someone freaks out and tries to hit it with a book, and the wee thing teleports away. The british dumped us on this island a good couple of hundred years now; We're still not entirely certain how the house-spider does that.

[@conandenz8413]

* hears the word "worms" * * remembers ep 6 * OH HECK NO

[@rockbytheriverside3925]

OH NO- what if it was that same building?! They said the fire didn't really affect the rest of the building.. so it could be

[@PrincessX-ke8tj]

🎶fuck no bab-y🎶

[@veronicajade4366]

Nope nope nope nope nope.

[@someoneawesome8717]

@@rockbytheriverside3925 bugs are also really good at escaping

[@julianbello8376]

So, status update?

[@hamburgerdog25]

This guy: I have a crippling fear of spiders The orchestra: _and you will be aesthetically terrified about it_

[@dull_demon4717]

idk how far you are now, but i love how "This guy" could mean two people

[@f0b618]

Statement of Ron Weasley

[@remuslupin2795]

Statement of Annabeth Chase

[@babieofchat8667]

I don’t like spiders, why couldn’t it be follow the butterflies?

[@ayraamin8846]

@@babieofchat8667 It ain't twilight hon

[@hufflepuffbadger2931]

@@ayraamin8846 Idk if you’re joking or you really don’t know the reference 😂😂

[@Alpysf]

@@ayraamin8846 You don’t know the reference, do you mate? Or as your name seems like it’s Persian: داداش داری اشتباه میزنیا. منظور چیز دیگه‌ای بود

[@wakipaki7381]

You know, at first I felt complete disbelief that the narrator can be so dismissive and disbelieving of the events when he works at a place that specializes in spooky shite like this, but then I remember that he's also a nice buffer for the listener. We spend a lot of time getting in the headspace of the person telling this account, he brings us back to reality and reminds us that sometimes a Cigar is just a Cigar, and just because paranormal shite exists in that world doesn't mean all the weird things and evils come from a mystical place.

[@TheMadwomen]

Well, in this case the guy is covered in spider webs so his cynicism is VERY misplaced. (Side note Freud never said the cigar thing it was invented by his detractors not relevant but just something that annoys me)

[@stevenkelby2169]

Paranormal shite does not exist in the world, btw. If something exists, it's a part of nature. 🍻

[@archermon373]

Sometimes way too many spiders, is just too many spiders

[@SingingSealRiana]

@@TheMadwomen . . . he himself has a spider trauma which makes this quite ironic, his dismisal is a way of copeing with his own fear

[@mae_er3]

plot twist

[@minty7945]

Podcast cats are automatically immortal, it's a law now. We got Khoshekh from Nightvale, and now Major Tom

[@rawtoast_playz1234]

koshekh and now major tom will always have a place in my heart

[@maxmattos1826]

And let’s not forget The Admiral (he appears latter and is perfect)

[@thegaymothman]

Legendary Podcats Khoskekh and Major Tom

[@comet8956]

damn i would agree with jonathan on a lot of these but my dude he was encased in a web and man i know this is all fictional but s t i l l he was covered in webs

[@starcasters5455]

jon was just being stubborn with this one

[@theless-than-goodhunter7019]

Spoder was just worried he’d be cold at night. John’s right that he’s a fucking pussy.

[@skullptures142]

Okay but spoilers: Jon was probably shittting himself on this one cause he *Knows* spiders are up to some freaky shit. I mean he has experience after all..... Childhood trauma can do a lot

[@SingingSealRiana]

@@starcasters5455 it was personal

[@TheJuliana0901]

"I called for Major Tom, but he didn't respond" What were you expecting???

[@TheJuliana0901]

"I recognized it" "i got a good look at my tormenter" I love him he's so theatrical

[@TheJuliana0901]

*ghost...........spiders" LMAO this was a very nice break after the fucking cave episode

[@waitingwarrior4203]

@@TheJuliana0901 That cave episode MESSED me up. This was kind of a blur in comparison

[@TheJuliana0901]

@@waitingwarrior4203 yeah definitely a chance to calm down lol. still had nightmares about this podcast last night but I can't stop listening to it NOW

[@chimedemon]

Ground Control to Major Tom Ground Control to Major Tom Take your protein pills and put your helmet on Ground Control to Major Tom (ten, nine, eight, seven, six) Commencing countdown, engines on (five, four, three) Check ignition and may God's love be with you (two, one, liftoff) This is Ground Control to Major Tom You've really made the grade And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear Now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare "This is Major Tom to Ground Control I'm stepping through the door And I'm floating in a most peculiar way And the stars look very different today For here Am I sitting in a tin can Far above the world Planet Earth is blue And there's nothing I can do Though I'm past one hundred thousand miles I'm feeling very still And I think my spaceship knows which way to go Tell my wife I love her very much she knows Ground Control to Major Tom Your circuit's dead, there's something wrong Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you "Here am I floating 'round my tin can Far above the moon Planet Earth is blue And there's nothing I can do"

[@aeronshade]

It’s funny how this was the first story I was actually sceptical of. Blood draining shark toothed vampire, sounds about right, a large gangly shifter that takes over your life, yeah happens all the time. But a guy haunted by ghost spiders, apparently that’s where I draw the line. I believe it comes down to the simplicity of it and because it’s more based in reality. I would describe it as too possible to be real, which I know makes absolutely zero sense

[@SingingSealRiana]

hihihi ^^

[@racoon_in_ankhmorpork]

Honestly, same xD. I have attributed my own disbelief to the sheer need I feel to have faith that if I killed a spider it stayed dead. If that logic were flawed, my mental stability would crumble 😀✌️

[@thestranger4894]

The schizo guy that cut a bleeding tree was pretty suspect too. The ghosts were probably a thing but his tree thing, nah

[@TIGGYQUE]

I think I'm mostly sceptical of it bc spiders can easily be a hallucination. Like. Nothing wrong with hallucinations, they totally exist, and this dude really should have visited a doctor before the spider problem got out of hand. Like, his fear was actually bringing him real life problems for awhile. Also something something about stigmatization of mental diseases...

[@RevelationsPrimo]

Spiders are an omen of death. So, the specific details of being an expectant mother and accidentally destroying her egg sac is what got him "cursed" in the first place...but also, once the babies hatch, the mother dies shortly afterwards bc all their energy and time is used for this reproductive process. It happens with many small creatures, but especially those of the insect and arachnid variety. Tho, spiders are also of supernatural origins thru mythology -- including dreams, being a trickster, or giving a certain New York Jewish teenager superpowers. I don't think this was simply a normal spider, especially as he stated as a child, he wasn't allowed to approach that area. But kids are curious. My bet is that Spider was a spirit fae or avatar or something... And well, this more man suffered karma for fucking with some spider spirits

[@rosslol8401]

Poor son of athena

[@biancawolter8029]

I was waiting for this reference

[@piratehalfdroid7370]

FINALLY

[@nejsonsvejson9861]

Don't get this

[@booklover8081]

@@nejsonsvejson9861 Athena is a Greek goddess that has a bad history with spiders and in the Percy Jackson series it’s well known that all children of Athena are deadly afraid of spiders.

[@Misty_Grey744]

YES FINALLY!!!!!!!

[@rootoo555]

jon really puts his whole archivussy into performing these stories

[@Cambion_Heir]

This is an insane thing to write. Thank you for doing so 👍

[@QuietDeaths]

Just started this podcast, Jon is the best and I stand by that

[@fire_phoenix04]

ARCHIVUSSY JSKSJSKSJSJ?!?!?!?

[@DoNotReferToMe609]

WHAT

[@togahimiko8083]

damn gotta love that archivussy 😫✋

[@yeetusdeletus84]

My man's choked to death on a spider This is one of the most unsettling things ever???? Imagine choking to death on a spider???? NO THANKS

[@mariamatedei]

well spiders usually don't like wetness and heat so it is very odd they would walk into your mouth irl, if not directed by some evil force of course (?)

[@jellifygirl]

@@mariamatedei ...the person I had to watch lure a spider into his mouth with his breath begs to differ

[@jellifygirl]

To be fair he was probably an evil force. Nevermind.

[@mariamatedei]

@@jellifygirl oh 😟

[@silentm0th]

thank you for the important detail i am now going to skip this episode as even reading that made me gag. i cant even imagine hearing his description i dont want to

[@Oradorus]

*goes outside for a cigarette* Spiders: "Carlos this is an intervention."

[@fays.p.5663]

If u are eating while listening to this do yourself a favour and stop. I was trying to eat a burger and then dude had to crush the pregnant spider in the woods and honestly. pickles and mayo have never looked more disgusting

[@tillmancat]

Thanks for the warning, mate. Immediately put down my nuggets.

[@fays.p.5663]

@@tillmancat gotta look out for each other

[@gylfie1099]

Thanks, I just put down my fries

[@fays.p.5663]

@@gylfie1099 I became a whole ass vegetarian after listening to some of these so you don't have to

[@jimmysisk4124]

*Puts slice of pizza back in mouth.* Coward

[@AlysidaMagica]

Truly the scariest line in this whole series: “If you were lucky, sometimes there would be horses. But on this day... *there were no horses.*”

[@chimedemon]

This is kinda funny to me, on multiple levels but also on a personal. My dad told me not to be scared of spiders from a young age, and even said “spiders are like tiny cats. Some are vicious, some are just chill (if you’re good with them) and all are territorial” and I literally thought of that when he got major tom! I almost laughed out loud because of it.

[@TIGGYQUE]

That's very cute. I have a belief in my family that killing a spider (especially at home) is a bad sign. I don't believe in superstitions, but it's a good way to prevent some unnecessary violence against insects

[@b-blythe6763]

Call me crazy, but i don't think the spider in this one was a spider. Like, sure it could be the vengeful ghost of that mama spider he killed as a kid, but it's been a long time at this point, he's killed tons of other spiders since then, and Major Tom goes to live somewhere else even though the ghost spider isn't targeting him and should theoretically not want to hurt him. This one feels like Something noticed Carlos' fear of spiders and decided to feed off of it. (Yes, like Pennywise in the IT franchise. Supernatural creatures feeding off fear is not that uncommon.) The spider doesn't try to hurt him at all when it first starts popping up, nor does it try to escape. It sits there in plain sight, wanting to be noticed. He doesn't recognize it until the second encounter. Maybe the entity only then zeroed in on the cause of his fear? Carlos himself says he didn't remember what the mama spider looked like, just that he was suddenly certain this was the same one. He feels almost compelled to kill it by the end, like he can't control himself. The spider was trying to make him relive his most fearful experience. Maybe by the end Carlos had experienced his fear so much that the only way to get a fresh scare out of him was to kill him the way most arachnophobic people fear most: crawling down his throat and choking him. Also, geez Jon you work at an institute investigating the supernatural, you'd think the web thing would at least give you a little pause.

[@mariamatedei]

ohhh I like this idea a lot

[@ryanmoran8787]

That’s a cool thought. Weird tho that the statement giver from Lost Johns’ Cave was targeted though, as she had never been claustrophobic

[@cpribble7718]

​@@ryanmoran8787 I think in that case it was more the sort of power trip such a force might get from turning "love" to fear. And how much stronger the fear might be of someone who knows something intimately, once thought that thing kindly and worth reveling in?

[@thetalee117]

Currently in the middle of listening to this, but stg, if something happens to the cat I am done with this entire series.

[@thetalee117]

Okay, cat is safe. I repeat, for all future listeners: the Cat is Safe.

[@xxsdelphia]

yesssss thank god. all cats deserve to live but the name major tom grants this kitty true immortality

[@asserm.8047]

😂😂 ik im late, but this comment (and especially your own follow up) made my day

[@CassetteGlitch]

If I'm correct, the writer has confirmed that he doesn't intend to kill Major Tom at any point in the story and that Major Tom is safe from harm. We love a writer who respects kitties

[@noabinnendijk361]

I literally went to doesthedogdie.com in the middle of this to see if I was skipping this episode or not

[@petraivan6778]

ARCHIVIST Statement of Carlos Vittery, regarding his arachnophobia and its manifestations. Original statement given April 9th, 2015. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London. Statement begins. ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT) I hate spiders. I know, I know, everyone hates spiders. Any time there’s any list of the top however many fears, they’re always up there, and whole horror franchises have been built on the basic premise that people hate spiders. But not like me. Not like this. It’s not the sight of a spider that gets me, not the legs or the eyes or even the webs they leave behind with only the drained corpse of their insect victims still inside. It’s the presence of a spider. The knowledge of its being, somewhere near, waiting to crawl on you, and all the warning you get that gentle tickle of its legs as it climbs upon you. I’m not explaining myself very well. Let me try and phrase it in a different way: I can watch any number of films about the things. Documentary or horror, it doesn’t matter. I can read books on them. I can stare at close-up pictures of their weird spider faces all day long, and there’s hardly a shudder from me. But I had to move from my last house after discovering how many spiders made a home in my garden. I walked out there one day with the intention of smoking a cigarette, sat on the rusty garden furniture that had come with the place, and looked up. There it was - stretched between two large branches, silhouetted against the sky it sat. Objectively speaking, the thing was tiny, couldn’t have been more than half an inch leg-to-leg, but up there, suspended high above me, its body black against the slate grey sky, it filled me with a sickening dread. I leapt up, and started to head back inside, but as I did, my eyes flicked wildly around the rest of the garden, and everywhere they came to rest, I saw more lurking spiders, more webs. There were dozens that I could see, which meant there must be hundreds more I could not. There was no way I could live there after that. How could I sleep, knowing how many crawling horrors moved and twitched and spun their filth just a wall away? I’m not a fool; I know that all gardens contain spiders. Every single one is filled with them, nestled in any crevice or hiding spot they can find. But now I knew. I had seen them in their spindly multitudes, and I could not unknow how many were there. And I could not stop thinking of when winter would come, and they would seek to find a way into the warmth of my home. So I had to move. Renting in London moves very quickly, which is a pain if you’re looking to find exactly the right place to live, but if you just need to get out and into a place as far away from a garden as possible and you aren’t choosy, it can be sorted out very fast indeed. I found a place in Boothby Road in Archway. While nearby Elthorne Road was full of houses and gardens - no doubt infested with spiders - my building was surrounded by concrete driveways and parking spaces, and the only vegetation were a few window boxes the other residents kept. The place was old, but had been kept clean enough that I didn’t need to worry about hidden webs, and the rooms, though small, were open enough that I could keep an eye on all corners. I was on the second floor, so any eight-legged intruder would have something of a climb to access it; although I was acutely aware of the distance a spider can shoot its web when it wants to get somewhere. The building was also quite happy with pets, so I got a cat. I had heard from a friend who had a pair of them that they have a habit of catching spiders and eating them - slowly and torturously. This sounded good to me, so I invested in an older tabby, from a local shelter called Major Tom. This is all a lot of superfluous information, I know, but you have to understand the lengths I went to; how little I would tolerate a spider to live in my presence, to fully grasp how unnatural it was, what happened to me. What still is happening to me. I saw a spider about three months ago. Not unusual. Certainly not as unusual as I would like - even with all my precautions they still manage to get into my home once a month or so. My normal course of action is to immediately flee the room and leave Major Tom inside to deal with it, returning after a few hours. In all previous cases this had worked fine - I believe Major Tom definitely ate the majority of them, and those spiders that had simply fled back into the shadows, well, I can trick myself into believing they also suffered such a fate. It may be that my grey feline companion never actually ate any of them, but he was a fine enough placebo that such a thought didn’t concern me as much as it might. I remember that month there had been a few of them. Our building had acquired something of an infestation of some sort of insect I didn’t recognise - small, silvery worms, almost like maggots, but slightly longer - and I assume that they provided a good meal for the eight-legged little monsters. This spider was different. I felt it the moment I laid eyes on the thing, standing in the middle of the kitchen wall, displaying itself boldly, as though it wanted to be as visible as possible. I felt that familiar rushing fear, as though the floor had dropped away and a thousand tiny legs are crawling upon every inch of my skin. But there was something else there. I was aware of this spider in a way I had never had been of others that preceded it. It wasn’t the biggest, maybe an inch wide, but its abdomen was swelled grotesquely. I could feel every one of its void-black eyes focused upon me, see each hair on its fat, bulbous body, and smell the venom I knew dripped from its fangs. I hate spiders, as I have said, but I would have sworn that this one hated me back. None of this was enough to make me think twice about gingerly pushing Major Tom towards the thing with my foot and fleeing the room. I made my way into the living room and closed the door behind me, leaving cat and spider to deal with each other. I sat there, watching the TV, some panel show re-run, trying not to think about the thing on my kitchen wall. An hour passed, then two, and finally I felt like I had enough stability of mind to open the door and confirm that the damned arachnid was gone. The moment I opened the door I felt something furry brush against my leg. Choking down a sudden moment of panic, I looked and, sure enough, there was Major Tom, hurrying out of the room at a run. He didn’t seem hurt or upset, so I assumed his job was done. Then I turned back to my kitchen, and froze. The spider sat in that same spot. It wasn’t eaten, it hadn’t fled, from what I could tell it hadn’t even moved! The only way I was sure the thing was real and alive was that I swear to you I could see its mandibles twitching with anticipation. I stood there, unable to summon the will to close the kitchen door or enter into it fully and cursed Major Tom for a useless bag of fur. It was another hour before I was finally able to move. The whole time I stood motionless in the doorway, watching the fat spider that paraded itself on my wall. Still it remained in place, and I couldn’t help but feel that it was daring me to do something, to take action, to kill it. I began to move. Slowly, ever so slowly, I approached it, reaching a hand over the table and taking the half-drunk mug of coffee, now long cold, in my hand. I gripped the handle so tight I was sure it would snap off in my fingers. Finally, I stood before the spider, preparing myself to calmly crush it against the wall. Then it moved without warning and I hurled the mug against the wall with all my might.

[@petraivan6778]

It hit the spider dead on and exploded in a shower of coffee and china. I stood there for a minute, breathing hard, but all that remained was a large stain on the wall and mug shards littering the floor. I should have cleaned it up immediately, but I was so tired, as though killing the spider had taken every ounce of wakefulness that I had within me. I simply turned around and went to bed. My dreams that night were many-legged but there’s not much unusual in that. I spent the next morning cleaning up the detritus from my battle with the spider. I wished that I had gotten the coffee cleaned before it had dried, but by lunchtime the place was looking very much as it had before. As I swept up the smashed mug, I noticed that the largest shard, emblazoned with the design of a stylized blue owl, had a vivid smear on it. Brown, red and green were crushed onto it where it had hit the spider. It disgusted me, but looking at it I couldn’t help but feel a small surge of triumph, and I smiled as I threw it into the garbage bag. Major Tom watched, impassive as always. The next few days passed without incident. Major Tom had never been much of an indoor cat, so I had installed a cat flap some time before to allow him to come and go as he pleased. After that first encounter he seemed to spend more time outside, and I saw him less and less as the week progressed. I didn’t think much of it; we’d had a particularly mild Christmas, so it made sense that he’d be enjoying the outside as much as possible before winter really set in. It was the Friday after my first encounter that it happened. I came in from work, tired after a difficult week - I used to work as a data analyst at an online betting company - and decided to order takeout and relax in front of some TV. I eased myself back into my armchair and reached for the remote. I was aware that Major Tom wasn’t anywhere to be seen, which was odd, since he usually got fed shortly after I arrived home, and he was never one to miss a meal. Still, I didn’t think of it, and turned on the television. I hadn’t turned the satellite box, so what showed at first was an empty blue screen. I reached to the other remote to turn it on, when I realised the blue screen wasn’t empty. There, sat upon it, black against the glowing background, was a spider. And not just any spider, but I swear to you, and here’s where you march me out of your little institute as a time-wasting lunatic, but I swear that it was the same damn spider. It was the same size, the same shape, the same thick, pulsing abdomen. But more than that, I felt it. I felt it in that fear that hit me like I had been punched in the stomach, and I felt it in the way that the thing just sat there, unmoving, waiting for me to kill it again. I was stuck to my chair, just watching this spider as it stood there on the screen of my television. I called for Major Tom, but there was no response. God knows how long I sat staring at the spider on my television. I don’t wear a watch, and I couldn’t move my arm to check my phone. If I hadn’t been sat down I would have run already, but standing up was more movement than I could bring myself to make while it watched me. Finally, I got to my feet. It was less effort than I expected when I finally mustered the will to do it. Although that’s not really how it felt at the time - at that point it felt almost involuntary, as though some something were lifting me, hoisting me to my feet by unseen strings. I began to walk, but rather than fleeing the spider I found I moved towards it, until I stopped there, so close I could have touched it, though my mind recoils at the thought. Before I realised exactly what I was doing, I lifted my leg, and kicked the television, instantly crushing the bulbous spider beneath the heel of my shoe, and, now I think about it, narrowly avoiding a nasty electrocution. I had had no inkling I was capable of such a thing, but once again the spider was dead, and I had a slimy stain on my shoe. I threw the shattered remains of the television away, burned the shoe and tried, desperately, to return to something approaching my normal life, but it was no good. The spider that I had killed had come back, of that I had no doubt, and a deep paranoia began to set in as I waited for it to return again. I saw Major Tom only once in the weeks that followed. He came in, sniffed at the bowl of food I had continued to put out for him in the vain hope of luring him back, and turned around and walked away. As he left, he gave me a look that I could have sworn was one of pity. I called in sick to my job, as I wasn’t really sleeping, and so much of the time was spent checking nooks and corners for the spider that I was a nervous wreck. More than once, I did find spiders, but they weren’t the one who was after me, so I killed them without a second thought. My life descended into the mess that it, well, it still remains today. I was right, though. Two weeks after I kicked it to death on my TV, there it was. Over my bed. Standing on the wall, over the spot where my head lay each night as I tried in vain to sleep. It was that damned spider. And I recognised it. My bedroom is better lit than the kitchen, and it wasn’t silhouetted against a screen, so for the first time I got a really good look at my tormentor, and I realised that I had seen it before the kitchen. I was not born with a fear of spiders. In fact, for the first six years of my life, I can only assume I existed in peaceful harmony with them. But that changed in the autumn of 1991. I didn’t live in London then, but with my parents in Southampton, and we would visit my grandparents every Sunday, out in the nearby New Forest. They lived on the edge of a suburb, and from the bottom of my grandmother’s garden you could see fields stretching away for a half a mile to the tree line. I used to spend a lot of time down there, and if you were lucky, sometimes there would be horses. That day, there were no horses, just an overcast sky and wind that threatened to blow off my blue woollen hat. I was wandering through the scattered trees by the fence I wasn’t allowed to cross, and I noticed a fallen log. I had seen it before, of course, as there was little in that place that changed much between my weekly visits, but there was something different about it. In one of the hollows sat something that I did not recognise. It was a pale brown, and looked soft and lumpy, like a small sack. Knowing no better, I approached it, and saw, perched on its top, a small spider. It watched me, warily, its fat abdomen twitching, but it did not move. In my childish ignorance, I thought it looked silly, and I reached over for it. But I tripped. My hand hit the spider, killing it instantly, and plunging into the egg sack below, causing it to tear open and explode. I was suddenly covered in thousands of small, white crawling things, those tiny, dripping, half-formed and unfinished spiders. They covered my hands, my face… my eyes. I can never forget that feeling, and since then, the presence of spiders has filled me with the deepest dread. And that was the spider that sat before me on my bedroom wall. Though I remembered little of what the long-dead thing had looked like, I knew it was the same. Can you be haunted by the ghost of a spider that destroyed your childhood? It sounds absurd. It sounds laughable. But there it was. I didn’t know why it was here. And I didn’t know why I was reaching for it. My mind screamed to stop, and I let out a terrible cry, but my hand kept moving towards it inexorably, as though willed by something else. This ghost spider felt real enough when I crushed it beneath my palm, legs splayed and body bursting warmly against my skin. Once I had control of my limb once again, I spent the rest of the night washing my hand. I am moving out of that building. I officially gave Major Tom’s paperwork to the family on the ground floor he decided to move in with, and will be leaving the moment I find somewhere, anywhere, available for immediate rental. I can’t risk seeing the thing again. I’m also seeing doctors, trying to get a referral for psychiatric treatment or possibly some antipsychotic medication, but I felt I should probably give you a statement as well. I don’t expect you to believe me, but if “ghost spiders” falls under anyone’s remit, I suppose it’s yours. ARCHIVIST Statement ends. I think the most important lines in this statement come at the very end. Antipsychotic medication and disbelief are, I think, exactly what Mr. Vittery needed to get through his problem with, er, “ghost spiders”. There simply aren’t enough details given in this statement to actually investigate, short of Martin confirming that Mr. Vittery did indeed live at the addresses he provided. I would have asked Tim to follow up with Mr. Vittery himself, but he appears to have passed away shortly after giving his statement. He was found in his Boothby Road residence, after neighbours complained of the smell, and had apparently been dead for over a week. Coroner’s report lists asphyxiation as the cause of death, probably due to choking, though it doesn’t say what he choked on, simply lists “foreign organic material” blocking his throat. If I were of a more alarmist nature, I might think the appearance of Mr. Vittery’s corpse lent some credibility to his tale. But as I told Martin earlier, he was there for over a week, so there is very likely a perfectly natural explanation for the fact that his body was completely encased in web. End recording.

[@bonniecornelius3836]

thank you

[@petraivan6778]

You're welcome! :)

[@LovedDeukae]

Thanks again!

[@petraivan6778]

You are welcome :)

[@jblask2]

A horror story where the pet doesn't die? I knew this channel was a place of culture. Also please don't make me eat my words later lol

[@dannymern6425]

*hears title* Oh no

[@ahcamws7187]

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout She spun her silver net and crawled into the house When the man came in, she filled his throat with thread Then the itsy bitsy spider climbed down the pipe again

[@UnhingedArtist7]

ooo nice

[@Shadowonwater]

*clapping* good poem

[@cryptticrow]

I started listening to this episode and about mid way through I look up and there were about 30-ish spiders on my ceiling. that was an experience... edit: guess what happen again! probably never gonna listen to this episode ever.... thank god I'm moving away in a few months

[@pianos4095]

Oh jesus I am so sorry, rip dude

[@cryptticrow]

@@pianos4095 I'm okay, I think I got rid of the all but maybe I'll take a little break before I continue this episode lol

[@TheMegaOne1000]

How the hell were there 30 spiders on your ceiling??? And how did you not notice it before??? I need an explanation!

[@cryptticrow]

@@TheMegaOne1000 I know this is like months late but there were probably a couple of hatchings around my room. My house is next to a small patch of woods and it was the middle of spring so that's the only logical explanation. Either that or the web got me

[@TheMegaOne1000]

@@cryptticrow Time to invest in some military grade pesticides, and flame throwers...

[@johncargille7722]

Jonathan: Yeah so he was found encased in webbing Also Jonathan: That's normal, nothing strange going on here for sure

[@lahlybird895]

Coincidence

[@redone233]

Jon: well yeah, he was found dead a week after giving the statement, choking on organic matter, and found wrapped in spider web but it most definitely didn't happen.

[@TobiasFangorIsntCis]

Looking back and knowing Jon's own previous experience with spiders, one must wonder how much of his insistent criticism of this statement's validity is actual scepticism, and how much is his own denial

[@moonyollie6977]

Honestly the most unbelievable thing about this story is that a landlord in the UK will accept pets at all.

[@trucetruce335]

We’ve gone from dismemberment to cave diving to spiders. It’s just a game of bingo with my phobias, huh.

[@nicholaseliotsmith1430]

silvery maggot-like worms, huh?

[@KittyLuvYou]

I think they are talking about silverfish, but I wouldn't say they look like maggots exactly.

[@Arkangel630]

they can be pretty maggotty when young actually.

[@user-gz2hy2wu5g]

Hmmmm... JANE

[@chimedemon]

.... it squirmed all over the room, and I didn’t hesitate to burn it to the ground....

[@apellegrino816]

sounds like silverfish

[@bluechord2928]

As someone with both claustrophobia and arachnophobia who has been binging this THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE. I have never been in a cave system and never plan to but this kind of thing happens (or it feels like it's happening). This is the only episode that has caused me to react physically

[@lisdumatin8008]

Mood babe, I’m binging this too and I’m sure I’m gonna regret it

[@krexs3201]

Glad I'm not alone 😫 and I was eating during this one too

[@ot7biasedmashups]

Literally listened to them back to back in the middle of the night and I think I'm gonna have an anxiety attack followed by nightmares

[@AK-rh7zk]

Speaking as someone who's lived with cats for most of my life; that cat was totally getting fed by at least one other person and decided to move out for more food and perhaps pets without an owner who was obsessed with spiders

[@ReddyD]

“People don’t like spiders” As part of people I disagree, also, this episode is so hilariously dramatic, I needed this to recover from the last one

[@KittyLuvYou]

I appreciate the Major Tom reference.

[@ragefury1817]

What's it a reference to?

[@alphacentaurie9104]

@@ragefury1817 kzbin.info/www/bejne/n4q8g3tqltWLetE

[@loki1456]

It's a reference to a David Bowie song.

[@GiubileiFernando]

Could those weird maggots be related to the things from Squirm? Maybe the spiders got weird because they ate some of them.

[@lonelywhale1548]

I'm pretty sure it was just sliverfish.

[@q6969]

@@lonelywhale1548 hehehehehehe

[@moniquita720]

Help, the anarchist worms are radicalizing my spiders!

[@plutoandpolaris]

As someone who owns two pet tarantulas, I find this one kind of funny in a weird way just based on this man’s intense fear of something I willingly keep as a companion Their names are Jack and Bruno and honestly, after seeing them literally run away in fear of THEIR OWN FOOD, I can’t be scared of em anymore. I will say that smaller, faster spiders sometimes startle me tho, just cause they like to appear out of nowhere

[@Kaleidosaur]

I am the wrong person for this particular story. I love spiders~ I find them elegant and helpful! Though I feel bad that he ended up suffering for an accident he made as a child. Guess the spider didn't see it that way.

[@samtigerlilly1003]

Spider: you MURDERED ME in my FOREST HOME, and then SQUISHED my unhatched CHILDREN! You can bet your biggest Ave Maria Ima haunt your ass!

[@chimedemon]

I KNOW!!! I felt so bad for the mother spider as well as the child... but somehow more for the mother...

[@nanahuatli2144]

I'm fairly peaceful towards them, and I like them in pictures, there's even a few really cute ones in videos, but I have a fear of swarming things so the idea of being covered in hatchlings is a big NO THANK YOU I SHALL SET MYSELF ON FIRE NOW. And also most of them are fine but this one was evil.

[@dannhoff6646]

honestly yeah

[@user-sb4ej1yo5h]

I mean, I do feel bad for the spider, but spiders sometimes eat their own children, so...

[@Rolan7196]

This reminds me of surviving a bedbug infestation. I've never been overly afraid of spiders (only the deadly ones and big ones) but can relate to the sleepless nights and exhaustion, in resigned fear of the skittering abominations.

[@christopherlowery3797]

No kidding, bedbugs are pain incarnate. I’ve probably got a few scars on my shins from scratching them so furiously while dealing with them. One of the worst few weeks of my life, having those little bastards haunting my mattress...

[@sarcastixfoxdragon6166]

I have bedbugs rn and it's such a pain. But my house has a LOT of troubles. Bed Bugs, fleas, German roaches inside, American roaches outside, Mice, apparently, and our plumbing is apparently open to any ant that wants to crawl up from under the toilet and sink. It's fun. I will have bug trauma when I move out. Mice, while annoying, are honestly adorable and I have catch-n-release traps that seem to be working.

[@ngreen6436]

Ah yes, the webs were one big coincidence...... seriously?

[@lahlybird895]

Serious denial to the point of delusion

[@ProudlyAKilljoy]

The part of the mug that hit the spider had an owl on it. Athena was definitely involved with the accuracy in which the mug was thrown

[@Varaug231]

House garden full of spiders: Moves to flat in different area Immortal Spider invades flat: The cat will deal with it Dude wtf

[@theweasel7222]

Make one about those silver worms and I’d be just as crazy as the guy. I fear wiggly worms like earthworms and maggots with all my life.

[@amexicanfox4384]

GangGang you have Scoleciphobia

[@jacobbrothers5412]

You should listen to ep 6, Squirm, then

[@trucetruce335]

Remember the Squirm episode? :D it was only for a part but that was enough for me to gag.

[@trucetruce335]

The Weasel ask and ye shall receive...

[@theprideling]

You... may want to hang on to your seat for some of the later episodes in this season then :'D

[@riverunderhilll2018]

alright, so I'm re-listening to these, and I just noticed the increase in static when he mentions the worms also, listening to this after 172 is really something

[@sarcastixfoxdragon6166]

Ughhh that's like so many episodes for now. I don't wanna waaait. :(

[@QuietDeaths]

I’m listening to this podcast for the first time and I thought he was just talking about silverfish 🤷‍♂️

[@waffleaffle231]

​@@QuietDeaths remember Squirm? This takes place really near where that happened...

[@darkblades1201]

I gotta say though. The fact he nailed the spider with the coffee mug was impressive.

[@crashkojote5627]

Last episode, I read a guy saying that the Magnus Archive basically had any phobia in it. I knew mine would come then too. Wasn't prepared for it to be the literal very next episode.

[@Pogo-os7sr]

I’m glad that I’m not afraid of spiders. I actually like having some around because they eat flies and mosquitoes, which I loathe. But being covered in thousands of spiderlings sounds terrifying.

[@therakshawolf]

Reminds me of a story I read: a girl got home from vacation and walked into her room which she thought was filled with dust. She batted the dust out of the way as she walked in but then she realised they were hundreds of baby spiders which hatched from an egg in one of her beanie babies.

[@gennaf7491]

17:08 but everything changed when the fire nation attacked

[@midnightstatic9437]

Yesss

[@rowena7892]

As someone who has at least in the past had moderately severe arachnophobia A LOT of this rings true. It's much better now but it used to be really bad. During its worst period I was warring between knowing I needed help and also that if I did, therapy would eventually lead me to being ok with touching spiders. In my own mind this was unacceptable (after all, their spider-ness would get all over me (not falling for THAT trick)) and I did not end up pursuing help. Note: I am aware that that was ridiculous, but still.

[@GlitterPig342]

I adore spiders, and I'm definitely appreciating all the poetic descriptions in this episode- a nice break after the cave episode, haha

[@Jdvalentine13]

Relistening to this is wild because you have to do a double take at all the foreshadowing you missed on the first go around

[@hahabonk9207]

as someone with arachnophobia this episode kept giving me shivers and itches more than any of the other episodes so far. usually I just enjoy the weirdness but this started hitting home omg Edit: I was listening to this while doing work, I zoned out, and when i came back i had only written the word "legs" instead of whatever else i was supposed to be doing

[@MintMalady]

Re listening for the 1st time and I can't get over how much detail they put into every episode. I love this show so much! The way John sounds like he's ready to cry when he says arachnophobia is so perfect and the fact that they took the time just to put in that little detail is just- I love it so much. ❤️

[@lemonace6695]

Also the absolute little pause between "ghost spiders" and absolute HATE when he says "spiders"

[@jojoceda]

Just a couple homies hanging out on the web

[@jojoceda]

After finishing this episode I am now horrified of my previous comment

[@hermazingbartels2377]

Five feet apart coz they’re not gay

[@live_laugh_watermelon7801]

Everything about this comment down tl the replies is perfect

[@jellifygirl]

UPDATE: MORE HOMIES ON THE WEB THAN INITIALLY ESTIMATED. ABORT MISSION

[@xFlyingWithTheWind]

Is that a British thing, giving cats so preposterous names/titles, Jonny's personal form of feline worship or just something I was hitherto unaware is a thing? Major Tom, The Admiral...

[@alchemicpunk1509]

The poshness is an injoke to English naming of cats. Don't think it's a British thing overall, would have to check in with Scots, Irish and Welsh folk for that and I don't know any of those.

[@thesanantoniokid]

It's absolutely a Jonny Sims thing, not particularly English.

[@remuslupin2795]

Absolutely not, I live in Australia and my two cats are named Lady Montgomery Fluffikins Tiggiwinkle And Lord Percival Claymore Snugglepuss respectively.

[@tobymidnight1957]

I have a dog named margarita. And yes she was named after the drink. My other dog is named Zorro.

[@pbtenchi]

Major Tom is a reference to a David Bowie song

[@corinnacougar881]

I'm two minutes in and I'm already affected. Spiders upset me. I'm going to be paranoid about them all day after this.

[@chimedemon]

You swallow 8 spiders per *year* >:)

[@corinnacougar881]

@@chimedemon Myth

[@chimedemon]

Corinna Cougar uHhHhhHHhh... UHHHHHH- did you know that there’s a species of spider that can go above water? Move around it? Maybe while you’re swimming, or taking a bath, or just enjoying the scenery... before one slowly crawls up you... >:)

[@nanahuatli2144]

@@chimedemon Don't be a jerk, please. Making people uncomfortable isn't an accomplishment.

[@fence7446]

Guessing those silvery maggots have something to do with Jane Prentiss considering Vittery lived in Archway and his experience was not long after Timothy Hodge's.

[@fluffsnake]

I like it how he saw a dozen friendly spiders and was like nope I'm outta here but when he saw creepy ass spider he didn't xD I would've burned the apartment down.. though admittedly the spider would've been anywhere if it truly didn't die and haunted him. Also, I'm curious as to how it managed to kill him 🤔 what if the spider kept respawning until it actually.. got inside of him..? *shiver* (from my understanding he was drawn in to the spider and couldn't help but kill it, so that kept happening until... welp)

[@toastghost9145]

This one is fun as it's so mild, and because so, so believable.

[@chimedemon]

I love that THIS was the breather from the really... heavy last episode.... holy shit... but yeah, I loved the dude’s personality and loved that it was “ghost... (sigh)... spiders”

[@Panneapple]

Me, starting listening to the episode called arachnophobia even though I have a fear of spiders (nothing as extreme as arachnophobia but it's still there): yeah I bet this is gonna be fine :) Jokes aside, I can immediately relate to that guy because of what he dislikes about spiders. I know I've seen people say they hate them because they have too many eyes or legs but personally that has never bothered me and pictures and movies are fine (unless they're showing spiders doing gross things like going into people's mouths), what does bother me is knowing there's a spider somewhere close, losing sight of a spider which I know is in my room, knowing a spider can be anywhere, can climb on me suddenly (one time I was sitting, feet and legs bare, and with no warning one spider climbed on my foot and up my leg and I've been reluctant to put my feet down ever since when I'm not wearing shoes and/or socks), etc. It's more of a really uncomfortable feeling than a visceral, "I'm going to scream my lungs out" kind of feeling though haha So yeah I'm sort of pleasantly surprised to be able to relate to a character like this and I hope it's not going to make me too uncomfortable while listening to the podcast

[@hosannapyles8201]

Yeah, the idea of small spiders crawling all over your body... That would be horrifying

[@Hollyblacknose_gaming_channel]

Same! This is exactly how I feel about spiders! The smaller the spider, the worse it is for me. I'm not particularly fussed about tarantulas, but I hate the tiny money spiders.

[@PirateGondolier]

here in florida we have this horrible thing called a wolf spider. no venom and it doesnt usually bite humans. but its called the wolf spider because it bull rushes other insects to feed on, so theyre fast little fuckers. additionally, they come in sizes ranging between a clementine and the palm of my hand. also, theyre nocturnal. ive killed three total, all in my bedroom and losing sight of it at least once each time and and each time being left with the overwhelming urge to sleep in the living room

[@HUSoldier66]

Full series spoiler alert: Anybody else think it's interesting that the statement that leads Prentiss to the Archives was from the Web? In 160 Elias says that he waited for the first avatar to come to Jon, and I'm thinking the Mother of Puppets might have lured in the one most likely to succeed in marking him without finishing him off.

[@greygoose8803]

yessss good observation

[@kohtea]

as someone with a bad case of arachnophobia, if u do not hear from me at the end of this, assume i’m dead update: i am alive and my fear of spiders has amped up by 200%

[@sansmaedacanon700]

oh my god when he talked about being covered in baby spiders i actually felt sick, the descriptions in this are so good

[@samedifference5665]

This feels a lot like Poe's A Telltale Heart. Loving the vibes

[@JSSell25]

Choking on "foreign organic material," is indeed perfectly unremarkable, considering that includes literally all foods, but come on Jon. Being encased in webs is not a "Huh, weird," kind of phenomenon!

[@waitingwarrior4203]

6:47 The same grubs that mark Jane Prentiss. Mark my words

[@nanahuatli2144]

What if it wasn't the mother spider, but all of its identical offspring?

[@live_laugh_watermelon7801]

People like you horrify more than the podcast itself--

[@pitohui363]

Don’t think so. In the part where all the baby spiders are all over him he says that they’re “half-formed” so they wouldn’t be identical to the morher

[@skullape3281]

Pitohui i think the half formed is more about in what stage of growing they are, spiders before coming out of an egg sack are often called eegs with leegs because of how they look like white little balls with tiny leggys

[@Crow_withaphone]

Out of all the episodes I’ve watched this one creeps me out the most, I hate all bugs, especially the buzzing ones, but the amout of detail and how easy it is to imagine every detail just makes me unsettled.

[@Spoopymare]

Ok but why did I imagine the spider doing that stickbug dance?

[@isladorw443]

How is it that there aren't more subscribers? These are awesome! As a borderline arachnophobe, this one got to me.

[@maxschechter4156]

This is honestly one of the most unique spider horror stories I have ever heard

[@haharharley91]

Jon's in so much denial at this point

[@OldAccountNow]

triggered my arachnophobia so much i took several inches off my hair at 4am when a moth landed on me halfway through the episode, 10/10, will not listen to the rest of this one, thanks very much

[@callumdougherty5339]

Did you continue on with the rest of the series? :D

[@pocketsizedviking4555]

i just started listening to this podcast and if anything bad happens to major tom im gonna sue

[@dragonwolf4274]

I love the fact that the kitty was ok in the end. It's always my fear when cats enter the picture that they will get hurt somehow. Major Tom, my boy, i'm happy for u

[@archsteel7]

My sister got me into this podcast and, from the start, warned me to skip this episode, knowing I was an arachnophobe. Really, really, wishing I'd listened to her. You guys just had to cover my two greatest fears, claustrophobia and arachnophobia, back to back.

[@frogonthebikeheh]

Jon likes to casually roast guys who died of choking on spiders

[@i_dont_know_who_i_am69]

by moving out immediately, major tom is more rational than the actual human character in this episode

[@shadowprincess3724]

Jon’s denial of this statement in particular makes so much more sense now lmao

[@grfrjiglstan]

I'm having to picture a nigh infinite supply of cases we never hear where they turn out to be complete bunk just to refill the boundless skepticism Jon has at his disposal.

[@mk6930]

My man claims that the spider “ruined his childhood” when he’s the one who straight up murdered it

[@thekleptoman]

Love this one. What a creepy episode. I'm sure the spiders will never ever come back, either. Also, RQ, the description sets this as MAG017, but it's 016 :)

[@RustyQuill]

Good catch!

[@callmeashy]

As someone who has been terrified of spiders for most of my life I expected to feel sick to my stomach in this episode. Instead I just found myself laughing~ As each supposedly terrifying thing came up I remembered all of the times where I had had the same exact thoughts and all of the nightmares and the months spent sleeping in my living room because there was a spider in my bed. Suddenly it all just felt very silly and I just laughed

[@alchemicpunk1509]

I find it mildly funny that this episode was the impetus for the rule of pets not dying in the episode they are first mentioned in. (Which also applies here the cat is fine) Mostly because it seemed clear to me that Major Tom distancing himself to keep himself alive was the whole point of his inclusion.

[@EvilOverlord1662]

Statement involves a monster, the police reports also involve the monster, there is video and photographic evidence of the monster, and the government declassifies files confirming the existence of that monster. Jonathan Sims: Nah, it's just a case of mass hallucination.

[@therakshawolf]

Jon doesn't like spiders and I don't blame him

[@vitaminc4408]

I’m listening to tma for the first time and I mainly do it while gardening. This wasn’t the best episode to listen too working where I found multiple spiders, not to mention the episode squirm coming back to me when I found a maggot lmao

[@konstant_ly]

This is the first episode that hasn't scared me so far. Far from it, I'm struggling not to burst out laughing

[@wingedkatgirl]

He choked on a foreign organic object and his corpse just so happened to be encased in webs? Yeah, totally normal

[@michaelaharris3190]

I once tried killing this massive spider in my living room, but I missed and it ran under the couch before I could get it. A few hours later, it shows up in my room over my bed.

[@mechengr1731]

That's not your home anymore. And its no longer your bed. Take any pets and valuables you can't live without, and get out while you can. Children can fend for themselves. They can even act as decoys as you plan your next move.

[@pihkabottomtext4628]

Don't read if you've not listened to the entire episode yet! Fun fact! I started having intrusive thoughts about having hundreds of live spiders stuck in my throat about halfway through the episode! Cannot begin to describe my reaction to the ending.

[@keychains9396]

im surprised i could relate to Carlos with his phobia, although for me it goes for bugs too. i can look at pictures of them, i can see them in documentaries and not bat an eye, i can draw them and not think about it but it's their presence that really concerns me. i didnt know my fear could be put into words, so thank you!

[@imacommenter1255]

As someone with severe arachnophobia, this was by far the scariest episode yet