THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES #29 - Cheating Death

MAG029 - Case #9720406 - Nathaniel Thorp
Statement regarding their own mortality.
The Magnus Archives tells the tale of an old soldier who claims to have gambled for his life and won, gaining much more than he bargained for in the process.
Starring: The Archivist - Jonathan Sims
Writer: Jonathan Sims
Director: Alexander J Newall
Editors: Alexander J Newall
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[@namaschu9418]

The way he told the story was so smart. If he would have began like 'sO tHE WhoLe THinG stARtEd wHEn I Was a sOlDIer a fEW hUnDrEd YEars aGo' they would have thrown him out immediately

[@saucevc8353]

and he stabbed himself to prove his point... show, don't tell, people.

[@sasukekun11907]

Fact

[@sasukekun11907]

​@@saucevc8353tell and show

[@alfredandersson875]

@@sasukekun11907tcaf

[@safewestern2438]

1:53 I'm Nathaniel, I'm 200 and I never learned how to read.

[@sinsir9114]

I know, right? I mean the guy is so eloquent in his speech, it's strange to think he can't read or write 😂

[@heresthadude1080]

@@sinsir9114 could be that he listened to a lot of orators in life; folks did tend to be more eloquent back then, at least the educated ones.

[@ahmadhouston6796]

Like

[@AL-jg4pr]

@@heresthadude1080 eh. Educated were rich ones. Whatever rich spoke became eloquent.

[@michaelbarry1651]

Sounds like the ultimate underachiever.

[@GiubileiFernando]

Death "It's time" The soldier "It's time to duel!" [Pulls out cards]

[@ZeroOhClock]

Death has heart of the cards tho. Not random enough

[@ikahanim7939]

At least he is not an ancient Egyptian Pharaoh trapped in a supposedly unsolvable puzzle pendant.

[@roahnadhavj3907]

@@ikahanim7939 Story of yu-gi-oh was supposed to be about that gamble hungry pharaoh and how he went on gambling and killing people but the creator deemed it too dark and changed It to a story of card game.

[@jesssam7384]

Well, death got uno reverse

[@julipazos1146]

TIME TO D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!!*

[@maevekeller929]

Well he's got O- blood, the universal donor type, so he can donate infinite blood to people forever

[@Axius27]

Why do I get the distinct impression that any blood donated would contain traces of... 'the higher power' mentioned in the episode. (sorry, trying not to accidentally spoil for anyone watching this first time around)

[@themaskedinc.786]

Infinite blood glitch?

[@melissaharris3389]

​​@@Axius27Yeah I definitely don't want a transfusion from [Spoiler] an avatar. Especially of The End. Just meeting an avater in passing is likely to get you terrified to death. A blood transfusion from a Death avatar would likely end very badly.

[@Grabnok]

No point calling out the cheaters when Death wants you to win

[@lonewaffle231]

Then why doesnt death lose on purpose? Maybe they cant do that?

[@localgarbagemantristam8542]

@@lonewaffle231 probay because it Will make the victim suspicious, if a game with death itself doesnt Last days then you probably Will feel like something is wrong

[@Falcon-doing-doodles]

@@lonewaffle231 I think even death has to follow certain rules

[@lonewaffle231]

@@Falcon-doing-doodles yeah that too

[@archsteel7]

Definitely my favorite part of this statement is the end of the soldier's story. "You said if I won, I'd live!" The monk shook his head. "No. I didn't." Absolutely stone cold, has a very monkey's paw "Be careful what you wish for" feel to it.

[@moonstone2029]

I had to go back to check when I heard "No. I didn't." but yeah, he indeed said, "you shall not die.", which, in a sense yeah, doesn't necessarily mean he would be alive. This was so cool though, definitely a pleasant surprise!

[@moleculegirl]

"You said if i win, I'd live!" "NUH UH!!!"

[@luciao3681]

Is the monkey's paw a Fool's Gold campaign reference?

[@archsteel7]

@@luciao3681 “The Monkey’s Paw” is a story about a family who gets a magical wish granting monkey’s paw with three outstretched fingers. Every time they make a wish, one of the fingers curls shut. Every wish they make is also twisted to have the worst possible outcome. They start by wishing for a modest sum of money, and their son dies causing them to collect his life insurance. They wish for their son to come back to life, but he comes back wrong. And finally they wish for the thing in their sons body to die, and that is the only wish that is granted without complications. This is the story I was referencing, and if Fool’s Gold has included something similar then they are referencing *this* story.

[@TheDoc377]

​@@luciao3681I mean, idk if it came specifically from that, but a monkey's paw is a widely known "magical item" that's something you can wish on, but the wishes often have some sort of twist to them depending on how you worded it. Phasmophobia, Rick and Morty, there's a lot of modern media that references this.

[@mayormayo1853]

If I was death and came back I would find all the other deaths and start a club. We would be the dead poet society :)

[@rheagomes5340]

Oscar Wilde would be proud 😌😌

[@sashaneumann]

They should've unionised

[@HRain-kv1iu]

Dead poets society 😂 what if the dead don't like poetry

[@atiredweeb8551]

@@HRain-kv1iu Simple. "Dead poets society: You're dead, they're dead. That's poetry."

[@mistydevillier2197]

​@HRain-kv1iu dead poets society is a movie. One of my favorites.

[@itsroman548]

He isn't a vampire. In the vampire episode, it is stated that not only do they not have blood, they also can be killed. This man is immortal, and also has blood.

[@thecynicalone7655]

In the vampire episode Johnathan clearly states that "Everything matches up, except the description of vampires"

[@tearez13]

I find this an extremely cool quote. It has the same vibe as a nightvale quote tbh.

[@cezar3169]

@lila mansilla but didnt he write his statement, not say it?

[@heresthadude1080]

@@cezar3169 seems like someone was transcribing it since he mentions archival staff observing him; the shaky handwriting implies the transcriber was shaken by the cutting incident. Also he says he's illiterate

[@alexandraluster284]

And he seems to be able to speak. The vampires mentioned don't have that ability.

[@ashyoung7128]

I'm gonna challenge death to dungeons and dragons. Given how long a campaign can go i'll live forever anyway, and there are no losers with a good DM

[@dude59974]

Death literally WANTS you to win. So he'd be the shittiest DM ever.

[@karihuber3169]

@@dude59974 Bold of you to assume I'd let him be the DM.

[@tinkercat8268]

@@karihuber3169 😂😂😂

[@leonardhollsten8145]

@@karihuber3169 Death has perfect knowledge of every game. He would rules lawyer you into oblivion.

[@moonlight_scribe]

Make sure you invite enough other people into the game that you can never possibly have everyone you need for the session.

[@jessbailie3539]

I, as someone who dances like a middle-aged drunk white man at a wedding, would challenge death to a dance off

[@leonardhollsten8145]

It would be hilarious watching this centuries-old eldritch horror being challenged to a dance-off and then fucking schooling the other person with their sick dance moves.

[@KatDoesCrime]

@@leonardhollsten8145 REAL!!

[@StormSnake0618]

"The end, I suppose" *YOU CHEEKY LITTLE DEVILS, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE*

[@merrygames9499]

what do you mean ? if it's not spoilers :)

[@tisibutasimplechocopancook7923]

@@merrygames9499 it is spoilers, sorry. if you're still curious, i'll write it under here: SPOILERS: the short version is that there are entities causing these paranormal events, based around one of 14 fears. the fear of death, which is the focus of this occurrence, is called "the end". so saying "the end, i guess" is foreshadowing/ a joke.

[@merrygames9499]

@@tisibutasimplechocopancook7923 i'll read it later then !! byt tysm for answering

[@marylii04]

​@@tisibutasimplechocopancook7923a small correction; it's 14 (or 15), not 12 :)

[@tisibutasimplechocopancook7923]

@@marylii04 my bad, small typo, thanks for letting me know so i can fix it :]

[@VIDEOGAMEVIDEOGAMEVIDEOGAME]

Power move: create and popularize a card game with a very complicated loophole that ensures your victory specifically to cheat death in this scenario

[@oburci9596]

Why would you wanna win though?

[@quoipi]

@@oburci9596 for funsies

[@zwnjj]

​@@oburci9596 say what you want, being death sounds dope as hell

[@rudyproffitt4549]

"the skin and the flesh beneath it came away in his hand like chunks of wet bread" is such a beautiful and viscerally repulsive description

[@lordbaphie]

I don't fear death. But becoming a skeleton who kills people until someone take my place and then I'll be a walking corpse not enjoying the best of foods scares the shit out of me. I'll take the endless void of non-existence, thank you

[@neroquin]

I wouldn't either, but imagine being able to tell people you beat _death itself_ in a card game

[@thirun779]

@@neroquin ikr one of the coolest statement you could make.

[@CTShun]

What if Death comes with a good dental plan tho?

[@embrace7052]

Same and also because i always hated the idea of immortality

[@ot7biasedmashups]

Yeah I personally don't fear death either and I'd nerver gamble over it. Like HELL NAH. I'm only scared of dying, not what comes afterwards

[@maggiem6209]

The minute I heard, "Maybe I'll get around to learning my letters someday." I knew we were in for a good time.

[@UnhingedArtist7]

Imagine challenging death to a minecraft speedrun

[@unhackerthelaziestbastardo6083]

A game of luck, you might win, but death is practiced in all games of skill as well.

[@JaquelineMelo-lr3lv]

@@unhackerthelaziestbastardo6083 the image of death practicing Minecraft speedruns is so funny to me

[@dannhoff6646]

Dude just wanted to show the cool trick he could do with his finger

[@seventi4641]

just realized that the title has two meanings. cheating death as in, escaping it by gaining immortality. he also cheated in his game with death, to ensure his win.

[@HimitsuHunter]

It has one more meaning that fits it best of all... Death is the one who is Cheating, because it's getting EXACTLY what it wants while tricking him into thinking he's the one pulling the trick.

[@dendakrmelova1201]

so like,,,could i challenge death in wii sports? or guitar hero?

[@catnerdadrian7601]

Yes but youd lose as those are not random enough. It seems that in these contests Death is given the skill necessary to win. Only games of chance have any hope of giving Death a loss

[@jormungandrworldserpent6437]

@@catnerdadrian7601 but the goal here is clearly to lose, for those that know what happens to those who win

[@Jazzisa311]

@@jormungandrworldserpent6437 But if you want to lose, you could just.... not challenge Death at all?

[@xxsdelphia]

@@catnerdadrian7601 so mario party 2?

[@mr.kittybear9114]

imagine playing the devil went down to georgia with death.

[@SLUGROT44]

So could I, like, battle death with Pokémon cards? Not saying I’d want to but could I???

[@dendakrmelova1201]

im not going to say that now i want to battle death with pokemon cards,,,but i want to battle death with pokemon cards

[@aricatrall]

@@dendakrmelova1201 ,,,i love you is that okay

[@someoneawesome8717]

I'd rather Magic the Gathering but probably, I bet Death is fond of Black

[@neroquin]

If I'm gonna play a game with death it better be a full on fuckin yugioh duel, holograms and all

[@greetingsfromnarnia5016]

@@neroquin literally, just pull out an exodia or an egyptian god card and you win easy

[@Thymeburns]

I love the description of Death. I never understood why people make Death the bad guy. I always found the description of Death very comforting.

[@senormooples2354]

Pretty chill dude, just wants a playmate

[@thestrongestjoestar8342]

Probably because a lot of us watch the show: Billy, Grim and Mandy

[@racoon_in_ankhmorpork]

This reminds me of Death as portrayed by Terry Pratchett in his Discworld book series. Death is definitely one of my favourite characters all throughout-it’s even said he likes cats !! Doesn’t get better than that.

[@leni4179]

Death in sandman is a vary comforting character for me

[@raymelgoza2643]

Because Death is an ugly truth. While Life is a beautiful lie.

[@the_pseudo_nim]

When Death comes for me, Imma pull this bullshit. But not to extend my life. I just want to sit down at a table and play a game with Death. And the game I choose? Fuck yeah, I'm not even kidding, 2 player, rapid fire Uno. Let's Do This!

[@ot7biasedmashups]

I'd DESTROY death at a game of Uno lmaooo but then again that's what they want anyway

[@avet9413]

This comment section keeps making me laugh. Playing Uno with Death itself is a beautiful image

[@xxllamaborrachaxx9374]

"Bloody butthole smiling at him." Ah, bless automated captions.

[@soullessdino]

imagine being immortal and still never learning how to read lmao

[@RelativelyBest]

I've never liked this type of story. "I managed to become immortal and now I regret it! Because it's not like being alive is awesome!" The best version I've ever read was the one in Sandman, where Dream and Death randomly come across this Renaissance dude who had simply decided not to die, and Death made him live forever because she thought it was funny. That guy never seemed to regret it, and even at one point when he'd been reduced to a wreck who'd lost everything, he claimed he still had "so much to live for."

[@samurguy9906]

I can’t die, I’m too busy!

[@RelativelyBest]

@@samurguy9906 I understood that reference. :D

[@IvySonnet]

Sounds like a great story~ I'm very much in the same camp.

[@sevanpasch8392]

You missed the best part where the immortal becomes best friends with Dream and they meet every century.

[@RelativelyBest]

@@sevanpasch8392 Well, I didn't _miss_ it, I just didn't mention it because I didn't want my comment to drag on. Though I _did_ like the part where they were confronted by some people who'd heard that the Wandering Jew and the Devil would meet at an English inn once every hundred years. Dream: "I am no devil." Hob Gadling: "And I'm not Jewish."

[@Piper_____]

An archivist reading a written transcript of a spoken account from a man telling what is framed as a fabulate folktale but is in fact a memorate of his own experiences. That is a convoluted way to tell a story, right there!

[@weffle2449]

Bruh imagine cheating in a game against Death and expecting something good out of it smh

[@ot7biasedmashups]

It's so popular tho. Like every myth is out here like "yuh I cheated death and managed to live a live life! Punishment only came afterwards" so like... Everybody thinks it'll be chill. I'm sure our guy here thought he wouldn't die *right now* when in fact he just wouldn't die at all

[@sandymcneish7820]

Man this episode is so well written!

[@seamusmohally-sheehan7522]

Agreed

[@JakubWojciechowski933]

So much!

[@hillsophie334]

fav one so far

[@sameenshaw9670]

jon: cellar door little gremlin spirit of tolkien living in my brain: *good shit*

[@dilophosaurussk4333]

Imagine challenging death to a game of 40k.

[@TheMegaOne1000]

What would Death Play? Necrons, or Death Guard?

[@dilophosaurussk4333]

@@TheMegaOne1000 I imagine Necrons, Death Guard do not really want to "kill" people in the traditional sense of the Word. Also Necrons were forced to become what they are.

[@TheMegaOne1000]

@@dilophosaurussk4333 I can imagine myself assembling the best army to counter Necrons, only for Death to shout: GREEN IZ BEZT!!! as he pours a bucketful of dice on the table when the green tide reaches my troops.

[@jacobbrothers5412]

I'd take MTG myself

[@torcaace]

@@elijahwilensky3318 nah only avatars of the Corruption play Death Guard because they love diseases, worms and other nasty stuff. (Also in the Wiki it states that the Corruption is really similar to Nurgle so it's basically confirmed at this point) The Stranger plays Alpha Legion and constantly shouts "I AM NOT-ALPHARIUS" whenever an hq character dies (the real Alpharius is some random marine they convenantly position in a way he's completely obscured by terrain and is kept hidden for the entire game, doing nothing) The Slaughter likes their World Eaters, sometimes they go loyalist mode and decide to play Blood Angels (Flesh Tearers). They tend to flip over tables when they lose. They also really get into character whenever they scream Khornate war cries The Flesh likes the Drukhari, specifically the Haemonculi. Nuff' said. Sometimes they play Emperor's Children and Creations of Bile. The Spiral and Eye are in a constant state of arguing over who picks up Thousand Sons this time. The loser picks Tzeentch only Daemons of Chaos. The Eye especially likes Magnus due to his clothing, accessories and wings. Also his eye. Usually the Spiral gets to play Daemons but they are actually happy as they can now get shot harder due to their daemonic illusions. The Buried play Votann. They don't like the army's aesthetics, they just like the fact that they go excavating under the planet's surface The Web likes their Tyranids. Sometimes they play with Be'lakor's daemons. The Desolation loves the Salamanders. Sometimes they play Sororitas. They may even actually light their opponent's models on fire if they win. Or they lose. And by "may" i actually mean "will" The Vast plays Guard. However, they only play Elysian Shock Troops and spam Valkyries. They also like to play on ridiculously large tables, so they absolutely hate Kill Team. The End plays Necrons. The Nightbringer is their favorite character in the setting. They are the most dedicated 40k players as they always get challenged the most by souls that don't want to die. They usually build the most terrible lists in order to deliberately lose. The Hunt likes to play Space Wolves or Orks. Beast Snaggas specifically. Will play World Eaters or Chaos Daemons too but only with juggernauts of Khorne. The Dark plays every "edgy" army that has the words "Dark" or "Black" in their name. They also like the Nightbringer but don't vibe with the other necrons. Sometimes they also play Word Bearers or Sororitas because they like the cult vibes (Black Templars are their favorite army thanks to this) The Extinction wants to do an End Times for 40k The Lonely primarily plays Age of Sigmar. The other entities would like to play AoS too but they think it's funny that the Lonely is playing the game well... alone. The Lonely's 40k army is reluctantly Legion of the Damned. They like how silent they are and how isolated they are to everything.

[@itsiz9738]

Kids, going to your dad's foreign film club at the high school he works at and getting too many existential crises is always worth it, because then you'll be able to recognize a reference to The Seventh Seal, the Swedish 1957 classic in which the protagonist plays a game of chess against Death, and that's what really matters in life. Edit: New England RIGHTS!

[@itsiz9738]

no I didn't know the date off the top of my head; I picked it up when confirming that it's Swedish.

[@pseudotangerine9687]

I keep imagining Death as Skeletor I can't take this any longer

[@HyacinthoIgnis]

revisiting this episode makes me think that the old man from sturdy lock episode could be one of the people the reaper came to claim. not sure about the blood on the doorknob though.

[@HyacinthoIgnis]

@Hiacynt Surre jeszcze jak

[@yourdadisastoner]

Oooo Polacy :O

[@cryptidg2408]

Pretty sure it's confirmed that was The Spiral (possibly Michael himself) actually, given how it made him and everyone else think he was going insane.

[@ElectricBookWorm]

I'm pretty sure it was Michael. Since when the investigated the door had no lock on it. Michael can create doors and make people think they should be there. So would also explain the lack of image on his camera he setup. Old dude could have had key to random padlock and Michael could make the door lock seem to fit the key he found for it.

[@ElForrest-Okey]

Never play games with death.

[@ElForrest-Okey]

Also the never having played a fair game of faro? That's a mood and a half

[@georgepatient7710]

@@ElForrest-Okey pharaoh.

[@ElForrest-Okey]

@@georgepatient7710 Actually it can be called Faro, Pharaoh, Pharao, or Farobank so we're both correct technically.

[@georgepatient7710]

@@ElForrest-Okey well.. geuss I learned something today, also tried a game of it it's fun.

[@ElForrest-Okey]

@@georgepatient7710 it's even more fun when you're cheating.

[@chimedemon]

This is one of my favorites... HOLY SHIT THE RULES OF THIS UNIVERSE.... THE FUCKING TWIST... THE... the vampire hunter was telling the truth...

[@jojoceda]

Well that was certainly a BONE chilling tale!

[@jacobbrothers5412]

YOHOHOHOHOHOHO-

[@americanoddysey2387]

elias casually saying "oh yeah i remember that happening in 1972" when theres a high probability that he wasnt even 10 yet at that point

[@abctrang]

Elias was a clerk at that time, combined with the fact that this story was set in 2016, i guess Elias must in his 60s

[@marinao4412]

Just realized all the summaries in the description boxes of epsodes refer to the statment givers with they/them pronouns. Nonbinary rights.

[@asterphy]

? It says him...... that’s male pronouns.

[@threateningfeathers4210]

@@asterphy initially it uses they/them in the part at the top before switching to he/him

[@asterphy]

Hazel Morley ok thanks👍

[@folieadeux5047]

they do that because sometimes the statement gives are male and sometimes female etc I believe but could be weong

[@canisfamiliaris351]

@@folieadeux5047 Yep. Using "them" is grammatically better than "he/she" but it's also inclusive.

[@mali.goblin2564]

Do you think that Gerard and his mother might be one of death people? When they first appeared Mary Keay let some bones fall from her book just like death in this story made bone figures(?) And didn't Jonathan say that Gerry killed his mother, and died some time after?

[@alessiapalma8823]

Mhh, what a coincidence they both were death.. moreover do u remember Mary’s body was found and her skin was hanging too? Idk it doesn’t add up to me but I could be wrong..

[@artsysundae]

has anyone noticed how often they use the phrase "slowly and deliberately?" it seems interesting,,

[@ParadoxEngineer]

"A statement in regards to his own mortality"

[@levchenkodarya]

So losing is bad (if you don't want to die) and winning is even worse. But what if you play an unending game with Death? You wouldn't die, because you haven't lose. You wouldn't transform, because you haven't win. Would you be just sitting there forever? Or would Death eventually take a pause and you would meet each other on Fridays? ...Does that what happened with Soldier Poet? Not the exact same, since Death and War Guy doesn't seem to be the same entities, but something similar in a manner. Maybe, Soldier Poet chose the battle of rhymes, where they exchanged poems. Maybe, right before he died, he lost on purpose, because if he didn't War would be continuing forever?

[@mackenziedillon295]

He's so bitter about the filing. Rightfully so if this is only being addressed so long afterward.

[@HyacinthoIgnis]

wait wait wait is THIS how vampires are made in this universe? i didnt catch it listening but in the wikia it mentions "food and drink made him sick and he was unable to sleep, although he craved something, he wasn't sure what it was. He suspects he's not the only one". what the fuck.

[@lokimemes4694]

nvm That’s... possible. Holy SHIT, I think you’re onto something, dude!

[@a_blitz]

That actually kinda makes sense now that i think about it. They dont eat or sleep. We know that vampires cant talk but it is possible that this guy didnt either and was using telepathy. It would kinda explain why they are flamable since they are old and shrivelled. We dont know if this guy had the teeth of a vampire thou. So i would say that i am half way convinced but we would need a bit more info about either the vampires of the death guys like this one.

[@HyacinthoIgnis]

@@a_blitz of course, this is just speculation on my part. i suppose he could be simply unaware of the vampiric traits he gained so he would not mention these, or maybe he felt like letting the others know of those new features would be undesirable or didnt matter to the story. it's just that most episodes are connected to each other one way or another and this one and the piper (i think? i dont remember anyone mentioning that melody or characters from it elsewhere) seem like odd ones out. im on episode 34 right now so there could be some connections later that im unaware of.

[@a_blitz]

@@HyacinthoIgnis yeah i would agree with you about that most are connected and for me too the vampire killer one and the piper were sticking out. Another one that i havent found any connection to is the lost jone cave one with the two sisters. And the man upstairs too if i am not wrong

[@HyacinthoIgnis]

@@a_blitz yeah, those dont really connect either. i suppose the only connection between man upstairs and the killing floor is the meat. i didnt realize that cave episode doesnt connect because there was an old website that was written like a cavers journal from an expedition similiar to that so i guess i took it kind of like an homage sort of thing.

[@Makujah_]

Just imagine how many quasi-alive immortal people that would make if reapers pass on their duty and every couple o hundred years from the dawn of humanity. They don't die ever, so that population should have some other sink - otherwise they would've made a VERY noticable part of world population by now.

[@alessiapalma8823]

Very interesting.. Maybe they can die in some way

[@espinacasable]

If I couldn't die by any means I'd just walk around, like in caves and the bottom of the ocean. Maybe they're all wandering in places we can't access

[@melissaharris3389]

Spoilers: It's implied that once an avatar is close enough to their patron to have died and been brought back, it would take another very powerful avatar to kill them. Perhaps Jon in season 4 could destroy an avatar of The End like he does Peter Lukas.

[@Makujah_]

@@melissaharris3389 i haven't listened that far into it (wow classic ended, so did my need to listen to something while i grind mobs, lmao), I have no idea what an "avatar" is 😃

[@psyrenbellamy7661]

Yer a reaper 'thaniel!

[@lemmetalkaboutthis]

This is one of my favourite comments I've seen in a while

[@maydayduckie1264]

If there isn’t already Jon should definitely go through something Like seeing something or being possessed That would be awesome

[@saltykingmonty8660]

Yeah that sure would be great!

[@Nizati]

Well.... it's been 2 years since you made this comment about the Magnus Archives....... How well did it age? XD lol.

[@melissaharris3389]

This comment is the opitome of, "be careful what you wish for"

[@captaind8728]

I guess I am the minority in the question of immortality l was always so jealous of characters with this....ability. God I wish I had all the time in the world to learn all the languages, read all the books and master all the careers. I mean I'm already sad, depressed and suicidal so what do I have to lose. Probably I even become happier if I knew I wouldn't die. So this story is right up my alley, I love it ❤️

[@michaelcrabbe3722]

Immortality would be wasted on me it would be just endless pondering

[@zaki4418]

Immortality would be wasted on me, it would be just endless masturbating

[@remuslupin2795]

Zaki well you’re certainly to the point aren’t you?

[@stellar3566]

Yeah, you have pleeeenty of time. THIS GUY HAVEN'T LEARN HOW TO READ.....

[@a.b.6689]

"I am already sad, depressed and suicidal" and this is why I know immortality is the only thing to save me. I would not fear that when I die, I have not lived enough. I would not killed myself for the moments I cannot survive, if I do not have a choice. If I were immortal, I would want to live.

[@IvySonnet]

Ya know. . . I don't really fear death. Like I don't necessarily want to die, not super fond of the idea of the accompanying pain - would most likely fight tooth n' nail if I got attacked - but ah, scared? Nah. There're lots of things I'm scared of - earthworms, for example (however unreasonably) - cruelty, strange people breaking into my house - quiet, frosted mornings where the only sound is the ancient crack of the lake in the darkness. . . And maybe. . . The crack of a twig. . . But no, not death. It doesn't seem to make sense to be afraid of something unavoidable, constant, natural - however unfortunate.

[@tookiwolfpaint5142]

I'm afraid to die painfully and horribly, leaving all my loved ones behind grieving. But the idea of dying after a long life doesn't scare me too much, not if it's peaceful.

[@leonardhollsten8145]

Well, then, the End won't come for you, maybe the Spiral or the Corruption instead.

[@IvySonnet]

@@leonardhollsten8145 Ha! Hm the spiral perhaps, I may be too much of a dreamer for that to really bother me, but I'm not too far into the series yet, so I could be wrong~ I could definitely see the corruption, though they portray the hive so sweetly, I'm not sure I would be capable of minding after a while - I'd be driven absolutely mad on first contact though. Undoubtedly. I can't stand anything wriggling. Tooki Wolfpaint - totally fair mate - pain and grief can definitely be intense and scary things.

[@nanahuatli2144]

I'm more scared of my loved one's deaths, and the dying. I'm fine with ceasing to exist.

[@albuseisenhorn3385]

thats a healthy way to look at death - to want to live but also not be afraid of it when the time comes

[@AlexDeMiro]

This is it. This is the one that broke me.

[@ann-margretparke9525]

Welcome. We all find our niche eventually! :)

[@thatonepersonyouwontremember]

Mine were the previous doorknob one and the "the blanket never helped" one

[@madsrose4085]

This episode is just straight up vibes

[@ann-margretparke9525]

That is one way of giving someone the finger. Great episode, as always.

[@f_mva]

catch me challenging death to a game of yugioh

[@archsteel7]

You know death has a deck built around Destiny Board for sure, though. Either that, or he just gets Exodia first turn.

[@f_mva]

@@archsteel7 i summon an impenetrable kuriboh wall. checkmate

[@ikahanim7939]

Is it shadow game?

[@jessicalee333]

18:00 "bloody but whole"

[@Cheshire5174]

in a normal idea of death, you win, you go back to your life, but considering how this game ends, it makes you wonder; does death care if you cheat?

[@baszko6152]

As some other people pointed out if you can play any game it means that bunch of skeletal gamblers had some sort mental uptade with new games. Imagine some medieval dude playing mtg XD . On the other hand this is terrifying idea if only for the fact that they can kill in search for players. Overall amazing would love to see it some more

[@jackhazardous4008]

I cant wait for Zoomer stories about beating Death in Rocket League

[@Silverwind87]

Playing cards with Death, eh? *laughs in SCP-1440*

[@carlamcgath7528]

I like to think that now days I could pull out a Nintendo switch and challenge death to Mario kart

[@anarobles9795]

didn't even finish this season yet but this is my favourite episode so far. somehow, it's gorgeous.

[@bog_ghost]

Oh, playing games with Death reminds me of one old book: "Ладдзя Роспачы" ("The Boat of Despair", I guess) Except the absolutely different ending, of course

[@wonderwhatsgonnahappen579]

This man is the definition of the soilder staring out 1000 yards away meme

[@erinbathie-moore8478]

#7 The Piper, focuses on a man in war and death as well. I wonder what happens in the one...

[@googleyoflolz9930]

As someone who already hates my 15 year old life just hearing about immortality makes my heart squeeze in pain. The depressing kind of pain, like the feeling you get when you've lost something and know you'll never get it back. Sort of. Mostly like the pain of hating how much life you have left to live.

[@dip2964]

"you said if i won, i'd live" "nuh uh"

[@theflamingmushullama]

I got strong Inscryption vibes from this episode. A spooky game of skill and luck, and also cute little trinkets

[@lucindajennings148]

Never a good idea...

[@heresthadude1080]

I reckon if Death challenged the Stardust Crusaders, Jotaro would either know enough to lose deliberately or win and take to the role of the Reaper with gusto to defeat Dio.

[@mr.kittybear9114]

the darbys’ long lost cousin.

[@nrpbrown]

Man that is Effed up. -- -- I am horrified that this might be happening to people regularly on a wider scale. And then i remember what podcast ive been listening to and man i am slow on realizing how much living in that world probably sucks sometimes. The archive of these random horrors happening to random people does Not sound small. This show is So good to make me enjoy it so much, wow.

[@tuschman168]

A soldier "cheating" Death? Now where have I heard that before? ...Oh right! My favorite (and I think the first) episode of The StoryTeller.

[@poopilydoopily7784]

Omg I love this episode 🥰 It's like I could easily fall asleep to it and have horrible nightmares and it's written so beautifully-

[@epsyblue7714]

Why does the concept of Death playing games sound appealing to me?

[@eosofspades_357]

what up, i'm nathaniel, 200, and i never fucking learned how to read

[@jowoelle]

gonna challenge death to a game of 52 pickup

[@jacobbrothers5412]

Best episode yet. Kudos to the writer

[@levchenkodarya]

Do you think the bone crumbling meant our Gambling Guy wasn't so immortal after all and actually passed away?

[@CamilleChauTempsDesCerises]

Ok I love this story of gamblers and Death, I'm sure it will stay with me

[@levchenkodarya]

I'm both terrified and comforted by death. I don't want to die long painful death. I don't like pain. Dying in my sleep would be ideal. I'm scared of *others* dying. The thought that there is high probability of my parents dying before me sends me to panic attack every time. But what I like about death is inevitability of my own death. Hearing about Sun and Overflowing and knowing that I won't survive long enough for these is relieving. I once almost drowned on accident. Fell asleep in the pool face down in the water. Luckily, my sister came and woke me up before I actually died. But this moment, when I was slowly drowning... It was so soothing...

[@gabrielsievert7101]

If I'm not mistaken, people who become deaths automatically learn any kind of game, is that correct?

[@marylii04]

I think it's rather that people who know how to play games (or how to cheat, even) were the most common to challenge death.

[@yakketyyak6414]

Everytime I imagine Death moving I picture it as very jerky stop motion animation--not smooth like Coraline, but moreso like the old Rankin/Bass Christmas specials, only more disorienting and disconcerting.

[@jellifygirl]

Guys do u think death would be down to play spin the bottle or nah

[@zealotoftheorchard9853]

**looks at title** Man thanos gonna report deadpool

[@spiranomad]

Mr Sims writing is absolutely amazing. His delivery is even better.

[@KenKen3593]

First mention of Fiona Law!

[@autobombz]

Fuck this episode is so good

[@tales_and_tea441]

Still one of my favorite stories

[@MarkWaner]

Oooh. A token that crumbled to dust with a touch of Jon. I guess it won't have any consequences, right?

[@caseypizzagod9235]

I think this is my favorite episode so far

[@callumdougherty5339]

Probably my favourite statement!

[@grfrjiglstan]

If I ever go to war, I'm bringing a Nintendo Switch in my rucksack.

[@pyrosianheir]

Awful kind of immortality, but... also, kinda jelly. All the things I could do while dead. Well... not when death, I suppose, but after someone else beats me. But maybe that's just me looking for a bright side to the horrific negatives.

[@megancress1384]

I've been playing oldschool pong while listening to these and i just KNEW an episode about games would come up sad thing is after so many hours of pong i still know i'd lose against death

[@AckermanYuki]

so he took death's place?

[@user-oi2ef1fc9o]

a little late but from what I understand yes. when he won the game he took deaths place and he became the skeleton thing. others who play a game with him and lose just die. When someone finally beat him in a game he got to be let free and now hes immortal.

[@tessacarstairs5998]

omg this is my favorite so far!

[@pauladriaanse]

"Cheating Death" I'm almost surprised this phrase was not used

[@a_jae_doe]

Ok but what game did that monk play to beat death? Mahjong? Pai sho? Did he get the three sets of game stuff before or after he became death?

[@yorgo2255]

He says that he doesn't know his letters yet it's a written statement,this is either a huge plot hole or a clue that the supernatural is even closer then the protagonists think.

[@whokilledthesunv4768]

it is implied in the beginning that he is narrating this account to somebody else, and that person is the one writing it.

[@verrufen2642]

​@@whokilledthesunv4768is stated outright that he is narrating to someone

[@Companion92]

Really interesting story

[@jamesshipley9164]

Besides The Seventh Seal, the story reminds me a lot of Clive Barker's The Damnation Game. This one was so well written and keeps up a tense mood throughout, definitely revisiting it again later.

[@stoneybologne]

if i saw death i would ask if he would stop looking at me all creepily. like i can't die if you're watching me dawg.