Sadia Khan - The Relationship Expert | Up and Coming Episode 4

In this week's episode, join us for an insightful conversation with up and coming relationship therapist Sadia Khan from Dubai. As two Pakistani women, we explore the complex interplay between our upbringing, cultural background, and personal development. Through candid and thought-provoking discussions, we delve into how our experiences have shaped us and the impact they have on our relationships. Tune in for an engaging and enlightening chat about culture, identity, and self-discovery.
Follow on Instagram for more: / upandcomingthepod
Follow @sadiapsychology for more insight!

[@876tisha]

Sadia is touching on having the anxious or avoidant attachment style. She is trying to heal people so they show up in the world as secured. I’ve been addicted to all her interviews. She is amazing ☺️☺️

[@TOBZ333]

What she says about arranged marriage is true. As a Nigerian I’ve seen many other people marry different tribes and fall out but people who marry from their tribe last longer because of belief systems

[@NurulDysson]

What she says about arranged marriages is only 50 percent true and your culture can be different as well from other cultures because I know Pakistani culture,my ex was Pakistani,most of the traditional family there marry their cousins,so even if you are miserable in the marriage you cannot get divorced because half of the family won't talk to each other when a divorce takes place. Arranged marriages don't work for everyone sometimes it is seen as a family trap to only keep money inside the family.

[@TheMightyWalk]

@@NurulDysson 50 percent true? lol

[@mattng4707]

Love the line "the route to good mental health is being authentic" as I get older this is so true.

[@jahtenz528]

Wow, as an African American man, I enjoyed this a lot. The interviewer had many natural questions without looking at any paper and was passionate. Sadia was amazing as usual. I really like learning from her. Thank you.

[@FZAChannel]

27:00 if you have to sacrifice authenticity to get that attachment that relationship will fail . Very deep message

[@ChiTheAesthete]

Sadia does a good job showing that even her own position as a woman there where benefits. I can appreciate it because it shows awareness past her own existence

[@lenak5905]

The Four Main Types Relationship Dynamics are typically identified as : 1. Family Relationships, 2. Romantic Relationships, 3. Friendships, 4. Acquaintanceships. Example of Relationship Dynamic ... The kind of argument were the same thing each time, but (with different content) over and over again. A criticising partner who is blaming and shaming, and one feel's hurt and reacts in a defensive manner. Results in the dynamic's inevitably playing out the same. An Unhealthy Relationship Dynamic can lead to ... 1. Anger, 2. Resentment, 3. Emotional distance. Power Dynamics : in a Relationship .... Lover's often play an important role in Romantic Relationships. The most common Three are ... 1. Demand/Withdrawal, 2. Distancer/Pursuer, 3. Fear/Shame. Red Flags in a Relationship ... When they think they know best all the time 1. Tries to Control one's movements, 2. Avoids Decisions, 3. Respect's partner's beliefs Always displaying overly controlling behavior by questioning ... 1. What one wear's 2. Where one goes, A common red flag in relationships. Is it a Relationship or just Dating ... Relationships with commitment requires commitment from both partners. This includes looking to the unforeseeable future and exploring (desires), and communicating needs of how soon, long both and how far both willing, to go to be together. Both Parties : may agree to specific aspects of a Date, such as : 1.Date, 2. Time, 3. Place, Relationship Dynamics without Dating ... A Non-committal relationships (a term for a casual something-or-other) The Three Stages : 1."Booty Call." 2."Friends with Benefits." 3. "Situationship." ...

[@superDlove88]

Sadia is a god send!!! I have been following her since the beginning and she has been such a great voice of reason in my life! thank you for a wonderful podcast!

[@elsa_nyc]

So thrilled that Sadia is sharing her knowledge. Desperately needed.

[@yaslynsahota]

Absolutely ❤ Sadia. Always enjoy watching her talk on podcasts. Everything she says makes so much sense

[@brentpeddy4223]

I'm 100% in agreement with Sadia at 18 minutes talking about the benefits and or attributes of the arranged marriage values paradigm. In my opinion we've all been mislead by culture and media that a love relationship needs to start with a spark. The truth is any two people can have 'chemistry'. But in reality that's not what we're looking for long term. We need to be looking for a partner (in partnership) to navigate life together. As long as we find each other attractive and work well together and share common values and goals it can work amazingly. But if the focus is 'romantic love' then we're all doomed. Romance can be cultivated. Partnership can be cultivated. But a love based on feelings' and seratonin release will be a rollercoaster you'll want to exit. I've seen several long format interviews with Sadia and this is the BEST by far! Bravo! 👏🏻

[@jimjacobs3436]

De

[@saquibhussain4789]

There are so much of differences between Muslims and Practicing Muslims. May Allah guide all of us to the right path. Aameen.

[@FZAChannel]

23:00 she said everyone has issues it’s about the handle you have on your trauma’s etc ! Good point

[@sarahmika6649]

I love it . I have learned so much in this interview about relationships ❤

[@monkeybanana9269]

I love Sadia. She is unbiased and speaks at the root of the problem. I grew up with very strong family values too and that does play a big role at making you who you are and the way you view yourself and the world.

[@linneasimchah1621]

Completely enjoyed this interview! I'm American, so the "brown girl" issues addressed here are brand new to me. I have recently been looking at all Sadia's podcast interviews on youtube--she's amazing in both substance and delivery. What a communication powerhouse on the subject of relationships. Kudos to the interviewer in this video as well--quite capable in her own right. Thank you!

[@mansoorsiddique]

I think SADIA Khan is awesome. Very well spoken. I wish I had this to listen to when I was making my choices

[@berkamp9832]

You wouldn't be have listen, one podcast can change your life.

[@Lovethyself88]

Thank you for talking about what it’s like to come from cultured parents. Moving to the US with parents from 2 different countries meant the rules I followed were vastly different than my American counterparts. Totally dif upbringing. Love hearing her talk about it, first time I’ve heard it and felt validated. Love Sadia & what she speaks of. She’s right, and it’s time someone spoke up about it.

[@kristadanciulescu]

She’s amazing!! So smart

[@kingston5542]

Loved it!

[@anitha2496]

I needed this video today ❤thanks

[@nanagyambibi7426]

@45:40 This information would save alot of men in the dating space. My goodness, thank you Sadia Khan! Great interview Up and Coming Pod!

[@amiyarmoss]

Thank you soo much for the video when I'm angry I find that seeking refuge in Allah from satan is the best thing, but when I'm depressed I find that talking to Allah and being open like make my relationship with Allah turns into a close one like a clint and their therapist really helps Alhamdulillah Ameen ❤️😁

[@iamthedaughteroftheking3704]

Love this video

[@luvLena12]

Can you make an episode about falling in love and wanted to get married to someone who is from different culture , religion , age but mindset , vision and goals we are aligned. The thing is is scary because friends and family may reject the idea while the couple are sure the find the one outside their race . Do you think you can make an episode on this ?

[@nataliehy1220]

Really enjoy what sadia khan talked about. She has covered quite huge part in relationships, across culture, gender, generation, conditions, etc,,,,

[@nalayini1504]

OmG yess I can relate to this and how we culturally treat our brothers.

[@abouthisbiz4330]

Its very difficult just to write a simple comment because these talks inspire so many stories, points and memories. Every time i write a long book, then erase it because its 5 paragraphs 😂. Anyhow, hope to see more. Good job!

[@yasiral-hilali7855]

Fantastic interview and interviewer. You can't have an episode end like this though Gotta have her back for a part 2 Kiran!

[@upandcomingthepod]

I know we must! Comment with some questions you'd want asked!

[@TheMightyWalk]

i like that call out about not liking to treat men well while having no reference point for reasoning that was legitimate. a lot of women dont seem to understand we men actually think about protecting and providing for you guys constantly in our subconscious . we mentally wear our loved ones persistently

[@fawaziaali6814]

One of her better interviews

[@silenthill1035]

That was so refreshing ! From 13:46 to 15:15 was especially useful. In fact the seeds of divorce are sown at that time.

[@n.y.8604]

Thank you ladies❤thats was awesome girl talk🎉thanks for the amazing insight shared❤

[@octaviatapia9225]

Sadia is a Wow, im speeches. She speaks all facts. Love her ❤

[@fawaziaali6814]

It's good that they addressed the brown girl issue

[@samco63]

I totally understand the feeling of kind of I guess “double standards” in regards to freedom. I’m not brown, so I can’t completely relate, but growing up within a very abusive family dynamic, I felt I needed to figure out how to make my own money and make sure I was financially secure and never relying on a man. It’s sad, because I would love to be able to rely on a man; and being the emotional side of things, but I just know how well people can control with money…I will willingly submit to a man who pays for everything, I will let him make decisions, I’ll make my own money and try and invest in positive ways, but I really watch out for being abused. It’s a tricky balance.

[@thebrindian]

Great host and Sadia is dropping absolute pearls 🤌🤌

[@phiromtauch6059]

Shes like a breath of fresh air…pure and good.

[@fmss6694]

I’ve been trying to stay in my marriage for my kids. We are from different cultures but same religion but what I’ve learned is our values are so different. I thought if we were the same religion and some what alike we can make it work but right now we are just co- parents.

[@adityabee1]

44.00 this reflects lack of empathy and understanding that life is not forever. It is a reflection of a transactional deal - which can only end badly.

[@amiyarmoss]

Also keep up going with videos like this great work on this just perfect alhamdulillah 😊

[@crystalkissoon2136]

Sadia please continue

[@endanglestari4522]

💯 % agree with sadia❤

[@Bittzen]

32:45 How is this scary? I'm watching you, and this is good content to consume. If I didn't have internet, my intelligence would have been wasted because I had parents that, despite being decent people, were horrible parents. I effectively raised myself through research utilizing the internet, and this is how I became as great and ideal as I am today. I learned economics better than college grads and for free using the internet, found my mentors there, learned fluent Chinese, etc. Internet can be used for good or bad, and it's their fault if they keep consuming bad and dumb things even into their 20s. They get what they deserve, they reap what they sow.

[@asophia5562]

So the bit where you talk about Pakistanis dramas and the "chalaak" girl. I was once called "chalaak" by a friend of mine.. it came about in the sense that she was talking about my nature and always having an answer for every toxic pakistani situation a person can be in and I'm always good at giving advice to friends. Instead of being offended by the comment I was actually quiet proud of the fact that she said this as I was like yes i guess I am chalaak because I'm not easily led a fool and I recognise patterns and behaviours when I see them. Being chalaak in my opinion isn't a negative one, more a pat on the back situation for me 😂😂 Thanks for a brilliant pod cast ladies ❤

[@upandcomingthepod]

I agreeee! It's just like someone saying "You should've been a lawyer" and meaning it as a backhanded insult. Embrace that you're smart! I am done with everyone glorifying "sheltered/innocent" energy.

[@asophia5562]

@@upandcomingthepod ohhhh hell yes I'm here for thissssss 🙌

[@Adam-kh9rb]

Therea difference though If your out there living a hedonistic life and being chalaak who would wanna marry that? These so called westenised women are why many Pakistani women at big ages 30 plus are not married and live with their cats lol Guys want a simple women who would listen and respect their family. You can still be educated and still on deen and be halal. You dont wear a hijab and then expect a good man. The quran clearly states good men are for good women. You attract what you are.

[@haseebahmad3219]

Love and respect for both of you. Sadia is someone everyone should be looking upto as someone who actually has the wisdom to navigate through things rather than following what the west is advertising. One of the things I noticed in the way the host's beliefs and questions were set was that people are now thinking and looking for instant and situational happiness which doesn't last long, rather what our parents and generations before looked and strived for was fulfillment and peace.

[@saimabachani6209]

This was great!

[@rafaqatzaman7487]

Very good advice Sadia, you make alot of sense. Keep up the great work you do.

[@zdares]

I’m soo glad Sadia set the record on straight on feminism, especially the brand of feminism followed by the “woke” privileged affluent Pakistani class that catering to your spouse or engaging with him in his love language as a form of oppression, patriarchy &/or slavery

[@ChiTheAesthete]

I also think Sadia, does a good job of both actively and passively disarming what I can tell are the more modern sentiments of the host. Passively: being a poised, intelligent beautiful seemingly traditional woman Actively: explaining the benefits of some old world traditions

[@meerasingh5992]

As an indian woman,I LOVED this!!! So relatable! My mom lives through my sis and me (we now both run our own small business ), I live in Mumbai,it’s tough for me to date here because I’ve usually dated foreign men as they are used to being around independent women but I too have the fear of things not lasting with them due to the cultural difference but just can’t get myself to connect with local men who have been mollycoddled by their mothers and now lack any masculine energy in them. Can’t seek dating advice from my mom as my folks did the arranged marriage. Could you please cover more topics on dating for Morden brown women🙏🏽

[@GuidetteExpert]

Just know how to ask the right questions to see if they value to create a long term relationship.

[@upandcomingthepod]

Absolutely, let us know if there are subtopics that are specific to you that you'd love to hear a discussion about.

[@Adam-kh9rb]

No offence but if youre not muslim it’s tough for you You have no foundation in life or trust in allah swt Indian non muslim girls in the uk are wild all they do is drink party and sleep around Now you tell me why a rich indian man would marry someone like that who is out there when he can marry a quiet traditional woman who would listen to him and respect his family. Its common sense. Look at bollywood most of the women are not married at big ages i feel sorry for them.

[@gauravr1796]

Please do the Indian men a favour and never date them.

[@YasminMahnaz]

The women in left is more masculine ..had no brothers and even the father figure wasn't enough to bring out her feminine side. Probably dad wanted boy but had all girls, maybe projected that on his girls way the got treated. Any way. Ur better off w a foreign man and say goodbye to half ur culture. If he's obsessed w Indus or any culture other than his you have luck. Otherwise... whining about local village men and wanting to stay in town full of local village men and choosing India .. cry us a river about it. U have options. Most women don't. Especially in ur 3rd world county

[@user-uo4ro6uv2c]

Sadia is just " the best "

[@traditionalfood367]

31:15 "There's no bad behaviour that's past anybody." Indeed the Millgram Experiment proved that resoundingly. Note also the Asch Test. Too many of us believe we're better than we are.

[@civildiscourse7626]

Time stamps would be great

[@Liv22237]

Amazing, intelligent, gorgeous ❤❤❤

[@lenak5905]

Dhikr (ذِكْر, /ðɪkr ) in Islam ..is a form of Islamic prayer, repeated or chanted in order to remember Allah (swt). The Remembrance of Allah (swt) ... is known as 'Adhkar' , legislating 'Duas or Supplications'. such as : "Glory be to Allah" and "All Praise be to Allah". Adhkar is important in Islam as a Pledge of Servitude (Ubudiyyah) to Allah (swt) ... For instance : to acknowledge ones weakness and the need for Allah (swt) in ones Life. The Pledge of Servitude ('Ubudiyyah) to Him. This is achieved by supplicating (Dhikr ) and praising (Adhkar) Him. The Four reasons why Adhkār will inspire One to Love Allah (swt) more ... 1. to Fear Him alone, 2. to have Hope in Him, 3. to Submit to Him 4. and to be Grateful to Him. Allah's (swt) Favourite Dhikr (ذِكْر, /ðɪkr ) ... The Prophet (SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) replied ; “say always, 'La ilaha ill-Allah' (there is none worthy of worship except Allah). The Three Dua's accepted ... The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, Three supplications are answered without doubt: 1. Supplication of the Oppressed, 2, Supplication of the Traveller, 3, Supplication of the Parent for his Son. According to ”Jabir (RadhiAllahu Anhu) reported : the Prophet RAS (SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said, “the best remembrance. of Allah is to repeat La ilaha illa Allah.”. Especially in the Morning Adhkar between 'Fajr & Sunrise' and the Evening Adhkar. between 'Asr & Maghrib'. According to : An-Nasai , He narrated in Al-Kubra (227) that Anas ibn Malik said: The Prophet RAS (pbuh) said to Fatimah: “What is preventing you from listening to the advice I give you ? You should say when morning comes and when evening comes ; "Ya Hayyu ya Qayyum, bi rahmatika astaghith, aslih li sha’ni kullahu, wa la takilni ila nafsi tarfata ‘ayn". (O Ever-Living, O Self-sustaining and All-sustaining, by Your mercy I seek help ; rectify all my affairs and do not leave me in charge of. my affairs even for the blink of an eye). Classed as Hasan by Al-Albani in as-Sahihah (227). At the End of Day Adhkar to Read before Sleeping ... Let not a night come upon you and you go to bed without reciting. the Three Surah's. Uqbah said: So every night I would recite them. It became my duty to recite them, because the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) had commanded me to do so.” 1. “Qul huw-allahu ahad”, 2. “Qul authu bi rabb-il-falaq,” 3. “Qul authu bi rabb-in-Nas.” ...

[@PeterSodhi]

Sadia is amazing - she is going to be so famous.

[@andycsun]

Wow. Sadia is so amazing.

[@hybridangel3403]

As a human being this is interesting

[@LedgerLiner]

No way. A human being?

[@MasalaMan]

43:10 As someone also raised in London, I never realized that lack of hospitality thing until you talked about it, of course I'd be upset that you took my lemon! That's my lemon! We are definitely a bunch of stingy f's. :D haha

[@christat5336]

Sadia your eyes heaven

[@elsa_nyc]

Behind every great woman is a great mom!!

[@amar.vivian]

❤

[@ingridyau3012]

6:41 This is not just about gender inequality in Asian household. It's about role expectation that parents impose on their children, such that only if the expectations are met would the unloved kids get a chance of being loved, while the spoiled ones enjoy everything and expect everything. My dad is the eldest brother who suffers from physical violence and high expectations from my grandpa. My aunt is a little sister who is of the lowest priority in the household, pleasing everyone. Both of them are selfless providers fulfilling wishes of their parents. Who do my grandparents love the most? My uncles. So, my dad and my aunt continue their parent's wishes to spoil the uncles. That spoiling continues to my generation. Outcome? My dad expects my mom and I to put the interests of my uncles and their kids first before ourselves. The funny thing is, the spoiled ones turn out to be unsuccessful in face of adversity. My uncles suffer from unemployment and always borrow money from my dad and aunt. My dad has built his resilience over the years and thrive at work. My nieces are spoiled and also borrow money from my aunt all the time (my dad used to lend money but stopped), but I have learnt to depend on myself and thrived in studies. I think fate is fair and I have been the luckier one and the stronger one despite the unfairness.

[@light-tk3pj]

Why are Muslim women dating at all? This is totally unislamic.

[@NurulDysson]

It depends how you define 'dating' if the dating has boundaries,no sex then there is nothing wrong with a couple who want to get to know each other

[@syedrahman4964]

Sadia toooooo sick ✈️

[@jeremyr8793]

Sadia is so intelligent, lovely, beautiful and just cool. Like this girl.

[@lenak5905]

Incredible life story of Iman Ali Ghazali. How did he become to " the proof of Islam" " O my Lord, my King ! Your order is a blessing to me" Tell my crying friends who saw me dead, tell my pained brothers and sisters in Islam. "Do not assume I am really dead, by God keep away from saying it is a death. I am a sparrow and this body is my cage, I flew away from the cage and the body remained. I was like a dead man among you this morning, I lived for a while and then wore a shroud. Do not assume the death is permanent, know that it is life and it is highly desired. Do not assume death is violence and pain, it is only moving from one house to another. Take what you need and be prepared for the road, if you are smart, do not get busy with anything else. Pray for me to be blessed so you are blessed, we went away knowing that you are next. "Peace Be Upon You" are my last words to you ! May Allah Save You. What else is there to say ? ...

[@gabriellerosewood7850]

Babe, this is pure logic and common sense I mean unfortunately maybe not so common but you know what I mean and you’re speaking it as if it’s some big revelation silly

[@ripekaz]

The theoretical knowledge of trauma Sadia is versed in, is impressive, “most” don’t know, not even close.

[@Jarellano1111]

straight men!

[@michellerhyner1477]

❤️🙏❤️

[@jannahfirdaws9791]

Chalak = manipulative Can be both positive and negative depending on what it is used for

[@najianaser6968]

Is she married? Like usually the first question for people like her with such tips is she happily married?

[@jennitsu12]

The new “relationship experts” now are the ones who cannot even hold a relationship for so long 😂😂

[@hanrowe2367]

Majority of the Pakistani women here don't cheat from what I experienced.

[@phylicia595]

Pakistani men do

[@NurulDysson]

​@@phylicia595sadly yes 😢 my Pakistani ex,his brother gave him a girl for s**

[@emmykiely2679]

“Who ate my lemon” 😂 who is eating a lemon is the real problem hahahah

[@YasminMahnaz]

Sadia lacks insight sometimes... question is why r u expecting ppl to buy you sht after coming from a coffee shop...she grew up in town where everyone goes bankrupt buying neighbors stuff... if ppl at home at something that was last lemon ok .. .... but if your at work... it is bizarre

[@JacquelineZoeFoo]

Lemon 🍋 Imagine, you like lemon in water, milk in your coffee and you took the trouble to stock up in the fridge? No one should feel entitled to help themselves unless they take turns to stock up? It is very rude to take stuff belonging to another without checking if it was ok? It is a general courtesy. If is ok to help themselves with a lemon, can they also be helping themselves with your lunch boxes so they don’t have to spend money lunching out?

[@lanabos]

Thank your mom so much for getting you in front of a camera, Sadia Khan. You are a Goddess.

[@aymenarifmalik]

I’d love to talk to you about the pakistani culture and share my own experiences. Because I have had completely different experience. Being the eldest and only daughter with brothers all around, I have beeb respected and listened to (and didn’t do house chores as they had to)💫

[@YasminMahnaz]

Maybe ur mum hated being the girl servant of home as slave. So she made qll box during do it cause unequal power and boys were her slaves. Plus she maybe didn't like them as much and wouldn't tell u cause many women are liars as women wives and mothers they are dissatisfied...

[@ui2760]

Did you say UK or London?? 53:00 Its only in London where people are not hospitable. Go a bit North in the UK and you'll see lovely people.

[@macbrebonicks8668]

The real question is Sadia Khan won't you tell me what you wanna do? Do you feel for me the way I feel for you? Sadia Khan, let me tell you what I wanna do I wanna love you, wanna hug you, wanna squeeze you, too

[@mr.hardtruth8026]

For all the men. If you like sadia, remember she is an educated women. If you tell women be a housewife, cook, have sex. You tell women, don't get educated, get a man or onlyfans

[@berkamp9832]

Talking rubbish, what are you even saying?

[@denisships2861]

I enjoyed this talk very much. I'll just add that the girls looking after their brothers well being like meal schedules, snacks and clothing helps to prepare rhem to be great wives. Many girls never learned that and is vital for the interaction. In the absence of a brother it is up to the mother to tea h the girl by the way she treats her father.

[@FarzanaHaq1]

It’s not the sister’s role because he will need a woman. My job is towards a man only and my parents know this - They respect my choice and who I pick. People need to adjust and be flexible. Also, the man I pick will want me just as much. Butt hurt feminists and bitter men.

[@elvaletto]

27:23 what’s the name of the dr?

[@thrillthings]

Dr Gabor Maté

[@kartkartens896]

she is right in theorie and psycholgy in all she explains but it’s like kicking in an open door… theory and knowing with intelligence is not the same as emotional shit and feelings which comes with that. She explains psycholgy in a way that everyone understands but she skips the emotional way to bring theory in practice

[@Kabadal]

Host, What do you mean there is no licensed professional therapy that is BROWN in America ? You mean Pakistani ? there are lots of dark skinned people that are professional licensed in America. I am Somali and we have lots of licensed in the state of MINNESOTA .... Stop claiming brown skin if you can't say it as it's . There are lots of mixture race that is licensed too

[@GuidetteExpert]

So home job is not work for women?

[@rustythedog1940]

Sadia you are not everyone..and everyone is not you.

[@LedgerLiner]

The most irrelevant comment of the century.

[@nurinlife]

22:00

[@heyu123]

Don’t agree about cheating tho. Sadia is great but I don’t think whatever she says is gospel.

[@LedgerLiner]

What part u don't agree with? Secresy or sexual energy

[@adaaparicio480]

Ladys you guys are awesome. I love your culture back in the days in Mexico that's how we rece us love respect for the older and check on the possible boyfriend background and that watch your going to get that's wath Grama use to say those boys are drunks or they married the girls and then they live them to go to the US and never comeback,and things like that and if you get Married there's no living you will work the marriage , and that's how I teach my kids my not haded to be man not machos and my girls good woman for a good man they haded to be good in school but also at home cook clean exetera there marriage is good so far there good on educating there kids witch I'm very proud my boys are like prince charming for me because they try the best to take care of me even wen the have a wife . I do come from a very disfuncional family I do have traumas and working on them all I did knew is I haded to try to race my kids different with love and communication so they don't mess up their life like I did at 12 for ignorance non communication got pregnant and my parents got me married .but any way I'm single and is sad that man now days don't value the way we war race I can't find a husband because all I have to offer is respect loyalty love good food and care for him but Man in America even Christian man want fit body have a home and good career independent woman So I guess I'm gonna have to stay single for ever

[@SuhailKhan-vr6ik]

She says she likes the demise of arranged marriage but then ironically proceeds to tell why those marriages work in more cases compared to love marriages. So you want people to be marrying a new person every 3 years then?

[@LedgerLiner]

u trying to reach But ur intelligence is absent

[@BBBNESSA226]

I agrée with her in so many ways. I just don’t like it when feminism is redefined. There are people who go extreme using feminism as their reason but once you tip the scales to where you are resenting men, femininity, degrading traditional male/female dynamics, or using supremacy then you are no longer a feminist. People like that do not represent real feminism. I hope she acknowledges that in the future because I really like her point of view otherwise.

[@dalex2955]

As an academic who has written a fair bit on feminism. I feel that Sadia is confused about feminism and the feminist movement. She believes that it is a simple binary men vs women ignoring the diversity amongst both women and men which is not at all the case.

[@BBBNESSA226]

@@dalex2955 I totally agree. I also believe she has a huge blind spot towards actual gender dynamics. Her idealism suites my fantasy so I subscribe, but I also know most people who discuss gender roles confuse gender with personality types.

[@zeshanahmed180]

Wtf....did she actually say "are you from the UK or London?"

[@LedgerLiner]

And the only reason it shocking to u is cause ur 11yo

[@thezjj]

There are many things I disagree with sadia khan about desi girls in desi marraiges not wanting to nurture or do house work. She has obviously grown in a very privileged household with parents supportive of her aspirations and choices so she doesn't sound like she even identifies with toxicity in desi marraiges! A lot of the time she just rambles!

[@ellieauburn8530]

Every Pakistani I know sell drugs in the UK

[@phylicia595]

All sell drugs The guys

[@plainsong17]

I find Sadia’s comment about freedom to choose a profession very odd. It’s pretty much a trope that if you’re Pakistani, your parents want you to be either a doctor or an engineer (and possibly a lawyer or accountant).

[@phylicia595]

Not at all They sell drugs in the UK

[@Tippy257]

I wish I was chalak. I would have been saved from a lot of heartache ☹️

[@deeF686]

Good conversation. feminism is not refusing to do things for others what Sadia describes is bad communication most people in relationships do not want to be told like a child to do something. The discussion around arranged marriage was a bit contradictory or I misunderstood - on the one hand Sadia believes we are missing out on it but at the same time when talking about a traditional woman in a marriage says that the wife staying home with the kids harbours resentment. I don’t think there is a perfect way to meet your person but I in today’s western society arranged marriage just does not work. Also I get a lot of Pakistani women are cheating interesting to put it down to racism as children. When I was at school all the south Asian girls were seeing white boys behind their families backs for years! And vice versa with the boys with h white girls and I put it down to it being forbidden fruit & more western cultured boys caring about their pleasure in the bedroom department. A friend of mine says the south Asian wives cheat regularly where they work because they never experienced a you know what in the bedroom. I also think cheating is inevitable in any culture where you are told this is how you should be & you grow up & go out into the real world & realise no I can be more than cooking, cleaning & being at home, that there is more to a relationship, that a marriage cannot survive just with everything we do is for the kids- they grow up! And everyone has needs and when we live a life of what others think we should do & go against our needs, values, beliefs it will end in cheating, lying, double lives and people being hurt. Also I get that you are both from Pakistani origin but it really is all ethnic minorities - all have religious influences, all have arranged marriage, all have cheaters, all have experienced racism, all have colourism, all can be misogynistic, all have other ethnicities they would hate you to date/marry. I actually think it’s quite sad where we are in terms of people finding their life partner. I know so many people that are afraid to date in case they are a monster or people that have been with their husbands for over 20 plus years & have found out they have cheated & not just one offs but double lives for multiple years. So this isn’t just a now issue it has always been. It just makes me sad, why as human beings must we hurt others so much & why do we go against our better judgment just for an illusion of a happy home?

[@LedgerLiner]

NOBODY ever Reads this much text Get a life

[@dalex2955]

I read every word!

[@Yay-hovah]

“A real bad bitch doesn’t want attraction or acceptance.” They’re not built like that and she knows it. 😂

[@billybro1403]

good lookin woman!