BOAT LIFE: Scared, Stressed, Anxious.. Ep.216

[@joshtvg]

Take a break...4 weeks ...no videos...or video taking... recharge...if you don't you may "crash". You too Riley! We'll still be here when you get back. Sometimes you need a vacation from your vacation...true story!

[@seanthebandgeek5040]

Yes!!! That's exactly what they need!!!!!

[@sails3538]

A great idea....... announce it and take a break. Its such a great channel......We will all be here waiting when they return. Everyone needs a Holliday from work. No vids.... no recording.... and eat loads of chocolate. Now thats a real holiday.

[@simonlusby6683]

that's a good point.... i will still come back in 4 months...

[@THEBOUJEECOIN]

Agreed!!!!

[@thatsidemountguy]

I agree with Josh and the others. You may be getting burned out, feel free to take a break. Many others have been in similar situations and had to take a break before it breaks them. Check out the interview with Casey Neistat on why he left KZbin. kzbin.info/www/bejne/pZKunWpujKdsfM0

[@insertnamehere6018]

Your honesty and vulnerability is more inspiring than "just the beautiful pictures", it shows that we're not alone in our struggles. It can't be easy to be far way from close friends and family especially now that you have a little one. Keeping you very much in my heart right now xxx

[@cartergraves7790]

this says 5 days ago lol

[@ariag.8745]

No disrespect Riley because I know your heart's in the right place, but consider this (offered respectfully): in any relationship it's vitally important that communication ALWAYS be honored. Even if to you it seems silly that Elayna doesn't want to catch the drone, when she asks you seven times to please catch it, that's not the time to decide to be persistent about forcing her to take it. I think you had a significant hand in that emotional breakdown. In a constantly changing world at sea, one of the most important things for Elayna(especially with her first baby on board!) is to feel like she has some measure of control over her world. When you insist she catches the drone, despite it seeming like a very small thing, you're insisting that she's not in control. You're saying, "I'm in control!" Catching the drone is HER choice, not yours. Worse, by continually denying her increasingly urgent requests, in that moment you're saying, "Hey, your requests don't 'matter." and THAT sir is very damaging to your partner. It doesn't matter that you didn't think it was a big deal; what mattered is that it was important to her. Seemingly minor but nonetheless a damaging power play on your part. Enough said.

[@justanbaker8937]

@@ariag.8745 completely ridiculous snowflake ignorant comment. Who are you to judge their dynamic. Literally the most out of line comment I have ever read.

[@huntstyle]

@@ariag.8745 pretty sure he knows her FAR better than you do. I saw that situation from a completely different light. I saw that as him pushing her to face her fears, something you should do for someone you love. Sometimes it's best not to coddle our loved ones, but rather to be tough on them, and help them to realize their full potential. That may seem silly when we're just talking about catching a drone, but even with something that small, the principle is the same.

[@johnturner2720]

@Aria G I agree, these guys commenting “snowflake” and such lack empathy and will probably be alone for the rest of their lives. Nowhere in the history of ever has pushing someone to “face their fears” been a foundation of loving someone, now in contrast what should have been done was him helping here and showing her that sometimes it’s ok to be afraid or vulnerable, and show her love and support in times of her struggles, listen I could go on and on but these two would never fully grasp it but aria you have and that’s what matters leave these two to question why their baby momma is asking for child support.

[@andrewburnett2215]

My take away, "If you want to be a sailor you have to leave port." Wow, that is an awesome rule for all life. Thank you Reily.

[@MikeLauper]

totally agree.

[@kellyhh1371]

Sounds like a tshirt.

[@rayallen1479]

One of the oldest nautical sayings is...”sailers and ships rot in port”.

[@tbn1996]

what is port?

[@jbhann]

Luq He ....it’s where you plug a USB, HDMI and so on cords into.

[@ChannelKT]

Elayna, your ability to maneuver a catamaran impresses me, and I speak about it often to our fellow boat neighbors at our marina when we're visiting. You showing your fear of catching the drone was inspiring in that we've seen what your capable of, and we can now see how you overcome your fears. It is an inspiration for the anxious mess I can be to just try things. Thank you for sharing a vulnerable side. It truly is something that hits home.

[@ElsaRhae]

This vulnerability was brave. I’m ever inspired by you, Elayna. This raw perspective of your lives allows me to see you as human beings on the other side of the screen. My heart goes out to you both. Continue blazing trails and being guides to those who aren’t yet brave enough to lead awe inspired lives of their own.

[@hartvanmeter214]

Just watched your latest. My wife and I are old, I’m 73 and she’s 67 and we’ve learned that (1) you are allowed to be imperfect, (2) you can talk to someone you have faith in and share your fears, (3) you can trust yourself. There are other truths to be sure but those came to mind as I listened to you Elayna. You are definitely not alone in your current uncertainties and fragile confidence. You are however a very capable and adventurous individual. You and Riley are doing what lots of us only dream of and doing so with something more than just plain courage but love, passion and joy. Of course there will be periods of anxiety regarding this course of action but I’ll repeat myself and say trust yourself/selves. ‘Nuff said. Sail on! Hart

[@mattsez2879]

A hero is just as scared as a coward. The only difference is, a hero will not let fear control him. Your a hero young lady, dont ever forget that

[@vickiwells7956]

Awesome comment.

[@beckymoran321]

#1 comment award 🥇

[@jennnageli8967]

Yes! Yes! Yes! Great Advice!🌞🌈🏝

[@ezfreak0159]

Not a heroin ?

[@fredericksmith9740]

Hey, I'm 71 years young and here's my spin on relationships. If you don't have conflicts or arguments and everything is just wonderful, your relationship with not grow. It is those moments that make you strong together. As I tell all my kids and grandkids, I love each of them very much......just somedays more than others. It sounds like you all need to find a nice spot to anchor and enjoy a vacation. Elayna, I hope this helps you feel stronger.

[@azjenjen4142]

I love how real you are. Life is difficult, regardless if it's lived on land or at sea on a catamaran. It's amazing when you have a partner who is not only "the shit" , but also gets shit done. I love how Riley acknowledges all you do. You're a mom, partner, videographer , editor, maid, cook, etc. Life worth living is often wrought with doubt, fear, and pain. That's a life worth living and passing on. Fair winds and much love!

[@melissab6060]

Bravery is not the absence of fear, it is taking action in the face of it. If you do what you are afraid of, then, by definition, you are brave. So, catching the drone was brave. Taking care of a child is brave. Sailing the world is brave. You, Elayna, are not fearless (nor should you be), but you are most definitely brave. Fair winds & Godspeed

[@saxonsoldier67]

Well said !

[@burcubingul4493]

Amen!

[@12Hak]

Was looking for a comment that sums it up - this is it :)

[@HondoTrailside]

Facing fear is brave, but there are all kinds of fear. If one was no longer living the life one wanted to live, facing up to that is also courage.

[@Verity147]

You are so right. If it was easy to be brave, everyone would be doing it.

[@TheLiimes]

Really good of you to cover these parts of your life in this video, guys. It would be easy to just show all the good times, but it's heartwarming to see this side of things, in a strange way, so good on ya. I know people were saying it when you had Lenny, but have you considered making slightly less frequent videos? It might be nice to have a day or two a week where you just don't do anything. I'm sure you've considered it, but just know that we'd all be behind you still if the videos came out less often! I'd be happy to up my Patreon amount too, and I'm sure others would. Not that that's a worry, of course. You guys really are an awesome team. I bet people every day are learning so much from both of your different qualities, myself included, so thanks for that. Anyway, hope all's well and that you find ways to help with this! x

[@HealthfulPursuitTheKetoDiet]

Thank you for your honesty! We've been cruising for 1.5 years and I've felt the stress and fear build, too. Meditation and yoga helps, as does a strong practice in SURRENDER. I feel for ya, and thanks so so much for sharing your story.

[@HealthfulPursuitTheKetoDiet]

PS - breaks help, too! Jumping into a marina and just taking it easy awhile has been so soooo helpful.

[@AKAdeedeeDEE]

It’s pretty simple take a break elena, rest your mind and enjoy being a mum for a month or two like others have said your audience will be here when your ready to be back 👍

[@harriet3194]

AKAdeedeeDEE You’re absolutely right!

[@13jq]

She NEEDS a break. She needs to get off the boat and talk to someone.Maybe her mom, maybe friends back home, maybe someone in the U.S, if you guys are still on the east coast. She might be going through post part-em depression. After a woman has a baby....a lot of chemical changes occur in their bodies . Feelings and moods are altered. Not to mention the stress of being out on the open ocean with a baby to take care. Sleepless nights, teething, little guy getting ill. She needs to talk to someone. It's not about" you just gotta do it or figure it out". She needs to talk to other women whether it be in a group or with an individual. Don't be daft and think she'll pull through. No matter how strong someone is....anyone can always use a little help.

[@amywright1133]

John Quest you couldn't have said that any better.

[@thepeacefulpack]

Yah, motherhood has that effect - creating a very protective love. You see dangers and risks all over. You have to let your faith become stronger than your fears. It gets easier. Never goes away, only it does get easier. May you be blessed with finding your new balance. Thank you for sharing.

[@jessicac5779]

mattroski007 there are many experiences people have in life that result in immense growth. Having children is just one way of growing up, but not the only one. People without children grow too.

[@slumgullianpass]

Three Cavaliers and a Cat Watch again, closely this time. He said she was having this problem before the baby, which just exacerbated it. Men are from Mars Women are from Venus appparently. Don’t tell the young ladies though. Let em figure it out on their own. Then it will become a truth.

[@bwhitehouse5696]

Wow you wrote a lot

[@thepeacefulpack]

@@slumgullianpass Yes I heard that...only the female brain changes after motherhood. It happens to all us females.

[@billdomb]

Thanks for having the guts to share this.

[@jamielancaster01]

???? “I’ve fallen into a well” - thanks for having the guts to share this! “I’m depressed” - thanks for having the guts to share this! “I’m lost & I don’t know which way to go” - thanks for having the guts to share this!

[@jamielancaster01]

WTF! STOP THE BOAT RILEY AND GET HER SOME HELP!

[@listay1]

@@jamielancaster01 I agree! They need to get her some mental health help - her anxiety and depression is real, and needs as much medical attention as something like a suspected broken neck! She does so much - she needs help.

[@charliemike13]

Jamie Lancaster over react much?!? Sometimes people just need to vent and then they’re fine to get on with it. Jumping to conclusions without even being there... that’s part of the problem with the world today.

[@karacox6505]

You are heartless why don't you go cook some food in mind your own business if you're going to be cold. I guess to stick up for you just being a horrible judgemental jerk

[@heathergonzalez299]

I think Motherhood just comes with a whole mess of fears and anxiety that you dont have before becoming a mom. Suddenly its not just about you and your own life being at risk. Now theres this whole other lovely little human being looking to you for safety and protection and that gets to be extremely overwhelming at times. Whether you're on land or out at Sea, there will always be that lingering fear of what's to come and how to keep yourself and your baby safe. You truly are doing a fantastic job though my dear!! Thank you so much for sharing a bit of your vulnerable side with us. I have 3 daughters and a granddaughter and although they are mostly all grown now...i still remember that feeling of being a new mom and all the uncertainties that come along with that. So just remember that you're doing your best& thats all you can do😉 these feelings too shall pass...xoxo

[@Trynnun02]

Hey there Elayna and Riley, USAF Retired here. I don't know if you'll see this, probably not, but perhaps the good energy will at least reach you. Your channel and Wintergatan are my two favorite channels on youtube. You both are real and genuine, and teach me a lot, not just something I am very passionate about learning, but also daily reminders of what makes life worth living through the ups and downs. If I may return the favor in my own way and depart something that I have learned through my career in the military, I believe it will really help you both, it's these 3 things: Self, perspective, and wisdom... They all are very painful to improve as you get older. The reason for this is also because of the combination of the three. As you get older and learn more about yourself you gain the perspective and wisdom to know your strengths and weaknesses. However, it is also through your growing wisdom that you gain through a clearer perspective that you are able to grow and improve ones self. Your perspective is how you are able to process, try not to over process through your wisdom and self. If you worry about every little thing because of the wisdom you have gained in knowing about the positives and negatives about each thing as you encounter them, you won't grow your self, you won't be able to plot a course through your own ability to adapt and navigate your increase in strengths and know how- while decreasing your limitations. The point is, these three things can all be self defeating, AND be the key to improving balance and harmony within each of them. Growing pains of ones self are going to hurt exponentially more as you get older if you don't develop a keener and more adaptive perspective of ones self through that wisdom you gain. And their is no better environment to do that in, than one that demands it of you. Sorry I'm not a writer, but I tried to keep this as short and sweet as possible.

[@NAvionguy460]

Hi Elayna, I think this is where you may rely on your husbands "rock" like strength to help support your womanlyness your a Great mom and wife Riley and Elyana together with love make the bond that can withstand hurricane strength problems stand strong you guys are awesome Navion scott

[@brettkramer]

Hey Riley, you can attach a rod to the underside of the drone making it easier to "catch", it won't have any effect on the images and will be much easier to get ahold of while landing. Less anxiety, happy wife, happy life :)

[@captainggttv3243]

The drone is the least of her issues she’s just real stressed being a new mom and living the sea life it’s very hard as u can see she never has much time to just curl up on a couch with her baby and just relax without having to worry about making water and lowering sales and checking radars and spear fishing it’s called stress shes gotta go on land for a little bit and rent a home and just relax for a month

[@woolitejones]

what a GREAT idea!!! ...maybe a detachable one? so, storage is not an issue or compromised? either way, that is genius!

[@JohnSmith-zo6ir]

That's a good idea.

[@brettkramer]

@@woolitejones I had seen this idea on other sailing channels, nothing new.

[@kellythegreatmcnair1504]

I think the honesty in this video is one of the bravest things you’ve done yet. Thank you.

[@xander423]

totally!

[@jennineandsean]

One of the bravest things, especially as a mum, is being open and honest when you feel like your faltering. Kudos, you guys are amazing!

[@richardealy435]

Elayna...... thank you for being so real... and honest. I truly respect what you and Riley have done together.... creating a loving home for Lenny. There's a lot of love in your new found family... and the fact that you can share your feelings so well show us all the kind of wonderful and caring parents you've become. You've been model sailors... and a Fantastic Mom and Dad. My wife and I love and admire the three of you so much. Please enjoy your time on the water.... and when the time comes to get that that home on land again... you'll know it. God Bless ya'll... Capt'n Rick... Mississippi

[@johndonaldson5126]

Elayna, first of all congrats on landing the drone. You did a good job. Thank you both for exposing us to the realities of life on a boat. We know it's not all peaches and cream and it's good that you shared the hard side of life. We all have ups and downs. We are well aware life on a boat isn't fun frolicking on the beach with your polished and fully functional cat a few yards away. What you are going through is normal human behavior. Yes it would be good for you to share with someone; that always helps. This too shall pass and you'll be stronger for it. You know you've spent time on land recently and it was great to have all of the benefits of space, hot water, etc. But that too isn't all peaches and cream and you are locked in one space that doesn't move. Again thanks for sharing. That was a good, and real, episode.

[@matorsolus]

Have been checking up on you guys for years... not writing often. Elayna, have you thought about talking to an online/skype therapist? Here in Sweden people in remote locations talk to their therapist on Skype. Just to get new perspectives on things. Hope you keep on doing what you love to do. Will be following you from Sweden. Love!

[@kaleidoscopeallie]

Yes! I'm trained in Sweden as a Zen Coach and most of the coaching I've done has been via skype. Elayna if you see this, Zen coaching would probably be right up your alley. Here's a link for more info as well as a link to the youtube channel with some videos that might be useful. zen-coaching.com/ kzbin.infovideos I don't work with it full time these days but would be happy to gift you some time if you ever wanted to try it out. :) Hope you find what you need to help you navigate.

[@manuelpadilla5700]

You guys are absolutely awesome in so many ways! This is my first time ever leaving a comment on any channel or video. Thank you for sharing your real life and not the "perfect life we all wish we had". Elaina, you are not weak, crazy or getting soft. You are an absolutely beautiful and amazing woman who is now experiencing motherhood. Life before children is carefree and fun. Life after children is so completely different, you become afraid of taking risks, your previous fears are now exponentially more dangerous. You are not only afraid for yourself but you now have the added responsibility of a baby that is completely dependent on you. I was invincible and immortal before children, after children I became afraid of dying or getting hurt, I became afraid of failing as a father. Add all those emotions and fears up to your regularly hectic and stressful day and it becomes overwhelming. So much so that you become anxious or fearful of seemingly simple things. Embrace the difficult moments because those are what make you stronger and your love for each other and the baby stronger. You are still an amazing, strong and beautiful woman. You can now add stressed out mother to your resume! Keep up the amazing work, you guys are so awesome!

[@mrfroboz]

Perhaps you need more social interaction and a vacation from your vacation. Nothing like a dirty city full of people rushing around everywhere to help recharge the old perspective.

[@lindasmith7935]

Yes! I thought the exact same. A nice vacation away from the boat. Come see us in the States! The Grand Canyon; peaceful, colorful, and her magnificent beauty. Is soothing to the soul. Perhaps one of our BIG and thrilling cities with excitement just around the corner! New York City, Chicago, or Denver. I can see your family visiting Denver. We LOVE you! 🥰

[@Matt_from_Florida]

Lenny usually waits until the two of you are asleep to crawl topside and raid the rum cabinet.

[@vickycushman8482]

I think Alaina is sleep deprived. Maybe she would recover with a few days of rest and relax.

[@erichoffman8671]

vicky cushman hard to “rest and relax” with a baby

[@anneofgreengables1619]

She needs a mom type to pitch in.

[@oliviabrynnreads]

The way she explained things it sounds like she’s been struggling with this long before Lenny came along. She’s become fearful after so many scary things have happened. This goes beyond sleep deprivation unfortunately 😞

[@kiyoponnn]

Excellent observation, although your spelling leaves much to be desired. It's Elayna and not Alaina

[@CarriUSA]

To , if she’s weaning...those hormones are all over the place.

[@misty5y]

Mother’s intuition. Sailing on Mother Nature’s seas with everyone on board that you love the most can definitely bring on those emotions. Brave is understatement. living life to the fullest could be your biggest mistake or greatest memories. Wishing you fair wind & calm seas.

[@jessknuteson7633]

Elayna, thank you for sharing the rawness of just being scared and anxious. So many new mom fears, and mom guilt, and postpartum feelings that you didn't even know were possible. (When i first left my son with his dad to venture into target I literally cried the entire time!!! No idea why but I did.) but thank you for showing us that we aren't all that different. That we are all humans and we have fears. Love and hugs and keep being such amazing folks!!!

[@jacktheromanemperorcool2620]

Epic conversation

[@ArmenianLifewithMitch]

@@SailingLaVagabonde Dear Elayna, I'm a 62 year old Australian man who left 'port' 5 years ago to live in Armenia (a land-locked country in Eastern Europe) with my wife Sonia. Having left all family behind in Adelaide, we've been 'sailing on foreign land' ever since. Being older and hopefully a little wiser, I can tell you that I feel more at home in Armenia than I ever felt in Australia...strange but true! However, there have been fears and doubts along the way...and this is all part of the journey and par for the course...but living on a relatively small boat with little Lenny is a totally different story. Your fears and anxiety are perfectly normal, and though your 'rock' (Riley) is captain of the boat, he is also 'captain of your family' (I know some young people will object to me saying that) and must understand that certain things may have to change in order to protect you and Lenny. You and he are parents now and must take into consideration that your adventure is not just about 2 young people having fun on the sea anymore, but a dad and mum with a 'totally dependant' little one, who's almost ready to start walking! I'm not trying to preach to you, I'm just concerned for you Elayna. If Riley really loves you, as he certainly appears to do (on camera), he must understand that he's got a responsibility to provide a safe place to raise his family. Of course this is a joint decision, but it's something I don't think you can put off anymore. My advice is this...take the 'channel' out of the equation altogether, then ask yourselves, would we choose to live this way if we had no 'KZbin derived income?' Riley can find a job anywhere 'onshore' and you and Lenny can feel safe, whether that be back in Oz (where you'll have a hands on support network) or somewhere else in the world. All I'm saying is...maybe you need a break for a few years, then when Lenny is older you can go on another adventure. Please take it easy on yourselves and always love each other. Love from Mitch

[@VintageTrainerWill]

There are many levels of bravery. Talking openly about mental health, especially when its not at peak performance is a level of bravery that most cant or wont allow themselves. you are "Brave Elayna" Thanks so much for sharing

[@KingsMom831]

I clicked immediately! I’ve been dying to hear Elayna talk about whatever she’s been experiencing lately. Thanks for putting out such high quality content!💜🌈😊

[@iceddevil205]

WOW....I just found you guys about a week ago, i had my prejudgments about the videos and your lifestyle and watched with an attitude that I'm frankly embarrassed to say i even had. No matter how you got where you are, I must say I'm glad you are here and that I'm falling in love with you guys. Lenny is such a pleasure to watch and see his little smile. I've found you two to be amazing people, open, caring, hard working, loving parents, and now I find myself living vicariously through you. I now realize how real this for you, your struggles physically and as well as mentally and I have a huge new found respect for both of you. I love the videos, the scenery, and seeing your boat, as well as you two and how you work together in the good and bad. Hang in there Elayna, you're doing a fabulous job.

[@lindamon5101]

Ditto

[@SailingEastoftheSun]

Interesting, my wife felt exactly the same. We solved it by sailing part-time and having a really nice house for the rest of the time. That has made it much easier for her to cope with this feeling. Knowing she has a completely safe place with calm and predictability to go too if she wants to. It makes it easier for her to deal with all the stress of being on the boat :), because she knows when and where she will have a nice break from it all times. Maybe it will help you too :)

[@410farm]

Elayna .... NOBODY has its all together ! Life by definition is a journey that we all figure out as we go ! Cheers keep your chin up !

[@BouncingSoul1987]

Thanks for opening up and showing us your true feelings, very genuine. You have a beautiful little family, God bless!!

[@mettecarina]

Thanks for sharing these thoughts and emotions Elayna. My husband used to work with Riley, and being a mad boatie himself, he’s always compared me and my shortcomings to you and your abilities. Granted, I’m close to 20 years older than you and our oldest is turning 10 in a few days. I didn’t grow up on boats and I have huge anxiety around a lot of things that go on along with suffering from seasickness. This video made me feel more human, and my husband gained some insight into it not just being me who is ‘weak’, but that we all suffer in different ways. And children certainly bring on added levels of anxiety. Thanks again x

[@JodySedrick]

I love that Reily said "It's hard at the moment but things will be ok" . Yes, they will. Keep standing strong together! Love you guys!

[@asacooper3494]

You guys are one of the most creative and adventurous family’s on youtube

[@kevinbreslin5718]

On Earth

[@niamhboyle7153]

Elayna you are brave. Being aware of the dangers of your lifestyle but not quitting it and working through it that is what i think is true bravery. Your strong resiliant and just down right amazing we all have our moments and worries , some of us suffer from anxiety (you are not alone), but that never means we are any less brave :) lots of love ♡

[@minimalistwriter401]

I second this one in addition to the need for a vacation. Well said and very true.

[@mandukka]

Thank you for showing this side too. Anxiety gets to me a lot and I really have to work on having the courage to do things that scare me. It is very comforting seeing I'm not the only one struggling.

[@rozroux]

I'd be more worried if you weren't scared. It shows you have awareness of how dangerous things can be.

[@MrMarkymark005]

Rozelyn Roux Exactly. It is pure instinct as a woman & a mother. It would be unnatural if she wasn’t worried or concerned.

[@hollargirl-w1e]

She is getting there. Her love for Lenny is guiding her.

[@lroitsch]

Thanks for sharing so deeply and honestly. It isn't easy being vulnerable with others. I see you Elayna! Makes perfect sense to me as you explain your struggles. Happy to hear you are taking some deep breaths and being contemplative.....always helps me! Love you guys!!

[@badgerdog9898]

You guys are living a life very few people can ever hope to live and like you said theres the great times and terrifying times as well. Can you guys imagine giving up this life for the Cookie Cutter life and mundane life on land? I see the daily good times you share and my body and mind ache for that freedom, but I cant possibly imagine the fears I can imagine you must go through. For me the simple act of sailing alone at night when you cant see anything I'm afraid would be daunting to say the least! You guys are true adventurers and warriors to say the least, the sheer will power and courage you must have to live this life for me is truly inspiring! I personally am an Oilfield truck driver and while my profession is nowhere near as stressful as yours, I certainly have days when I'm anticipating snow or mud and chaining up and the possibility of wrecking and destroying my career, I think on a micro level I can understand the anxiety of what tomorrow brings. Know you guys are an inspiration to so many people, but also know your life is more important than anything else. I hope you stick to it and continue to grow. Either way your fans will support you in whatever choices you make.

[@beckwilde]

Thank you for sharing the hardships of relationships, the reality of living on a sailing boat and anxiety in general. I think that many people fantasize this life but don't understand the strength and bravery people need for this. You guys are amazing!

[@DC-jb7oz]

I'll give you an old mans perspective. Do what you want with the information. As one gets older hopefully one gets wiser. You both have the responsibility of a child now. That in itself is a game changer. When you were younger and just 2 of you it was different in that you were willing to take risks. Now that you have a child you want to be more cautious. Completely understandable and actually responsible. Don't spread yourselves to thin. Step back and establish what the priorities for the both of you. Obviously your child, but aside from that take care of your own well being so you are both certain to be there for Lenny. I know you feel you have an obligation to your followers, BUT, first and foremost you have obligations as a family. Again, just an old man talking. Be well :)

[@nanajodes8154]

perfectly said ...what elena is feeling is the protectiveness you get as a wife and mother now as she doesnt want to lose her hubby or child to a disaster so that is what its all about ...that and hormones too lol

[@Leyon80]

Beautifully said. Can you be my Dad !?!?!? Lol

[@DC-jb7oz]

@@Leyon80 I wasn't blessed with a son, so yeah. :)

[@Leyon80]

D C , well that is a shame. The world is lacking a few wise men that you and your beautiful wisdom could have bestowed on this world. I can only imagine the amazingly beautifully strong daughters you have raised . I hope I can be half the man you are with my son and daughters 👍🏻

[@danielgaertner9348]

Well said.........true words!!!!!!

[@a13Banger]

Thank you for sharing this side of life on board. I hope you all are able to get out of this mental rut. I hope you can find your perspective, your true north again. I think gaining that heading again will instill that sense of confidence again. Using the unpredictability of life on a boat as a strength and adventure again instead of a con. I love what you all do. I so look forward to each and every update.

[@indianajones4016]

Maybe it might be time to switch it up and add an off grid villa to the vlogs Part beach hut 〰️ part sailboat Best of both worlds Elayna your creative genuis doesn’t stop at sailing, it can be taken anywhere!

[@caseyreese6114]

Hey love, I just started watching your videos. I have four children, we live on land in a tiny home. We have a different lifestyle.....but that fear that you're feeling is maturity. It is being a Mother. I disagree with everyone telling you to take a break unless that's what you want to do body & soul. Because dear, no matter how you live your life from now on, you will always be afraid. Being a Mother is living every day with your heart outside your body, roaming free for the accidents to happen, the bumps and bruises and potential crisis. I was wild and free and had to really reflect on when I stopped being brave, because I lost a lot of my courage with age.....and from one Mum to another, I truly believe we see all the potential for disaster because we are just afraid of something happening to the ones we love. Chin up. You will be a warrior.

[@jamuelfunes4090]

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[@michynature]

I agree. Not sure if it’s hormones or what but with each child I became more sensitive. I’m retiring now and watching because I want to do what Riley and Elena are doing and seeing her so open made me feel normal lol. It also made me think I should probably go with power instead of sail 😫 #gettingoldhurts lol

[@ShulaOudean]

After I had my daughter, I experienced a lot of anxieties and fears that had never entered my mind before. I think it is part of being a mother. Perfectly normal.

[@gary5831]

Sounds like a vacation is needed. One with NO camera's, no uploads, nothing but family..

[@minimalistwriter401]

I second that. Take a couple of weeks, maybe even a month off the boat, no cameras, no editing, no weather or boat problems, just relaxation and time with Lenny. We'll all be here when you get back!

[@MikeHarrison3266]

Yes, exactly.

[@fredbest1980]

ya, seems like such a sweet family, time for yourselves!

[@FromThePrairies]

Planned, annual down time is much needed for maintaining life balance.

[@indianajones4016]

Yep! A month in Europe, on land enjoying all the food and each other

[@wlmorgan]

Brave is being scared and doing it anyway. Keep on you legends.

[@TruckinGrateful]

wlmorgan “courage is being scared of death but saddling up anyway”-john whayne

[@butlerdawgs78]

Exactly what I was thinking. It's so hard to push through that big wall of fear, but if you can do it, you usually find out it's paper thin. It took courage just to open up to everyone about it in such a public way. Keep doing your thing, La Vagabonde Fam!!!

[@brucecoppard]

Thanks for sharing your emotions with us. My husband and I met you 2 years ago in Poros in the Ionian and really admire what you are doing. We have been sailing in Greece for 5 years. I often feel anxious, scared and insecure, so it is comforting to know that we are not alone in our feelings. Your frankness has helped my husband to understand my emotions

[@89RuthErin]

Thank you for this. This was a breath of fresh air. It's so nice knowing everything isn't perfect all the time. In reality, this vlog was the most important. Keep on keeping on!

[@lasvegasandthehoney]

parenthood makes mortality a much bigger focus. its completely normal.

[@delilahjones6496]

Best comment! I totally went through this change when I became a parent. It was the weirdest thing. But all the sudden, self-preservation was in full swing!

[@lizrach4159]

Thanks for sharing this guys. Just some thoughts that may help. (sorry if it's too long) From my partner who is an experienced scuba diver - he sees what's happening to you as multiple stresses. A tactic he learnt from Divers Alert Network is as follows.When you are diving, and getting stressed for maybe unknown reasons, he runs through a checklist in his mind i.e. check your mask, check your air, fins, etc and show yourself that everything is under control. You could have a checklist for different situations so you can know which stress is the problem i.e. identify your main stress and deal with that first. (I acknowledge that your situation can change quickly). Now from me, a 60 year old grandmother, - your gut instinct was telling you to be aware and uneasy. The anchorage was not as safe as you would have liked, the deserted village was an unknown as to the occupants i.e. not really sure if it was safe, the weather was not great, weedy bottom, broken sleep and then the drone topped it all off. Multiple stresses. Protecting Lenny is also a huge factor. I would say always trust your gut instinct and also find a wonderful professional someone who you can periodically call and talk through things with. The right person is invaluable and will have loads of great advice. I think you're terrific. xx

[@vk2ig]

I can add another stressor if I can: Elayna cleaning up after Lenny taking the lid off the rum and spilling it ... possibly realising that he is now mobile enough to start getting into things, and will need even more watching than before during his waking hours.

[@erica102]

Thank you for being vulnerable. I just bought my first boat this summer, a 23 ft Aquarious from 1971. I did a local class 1.5 years ago and jumped on racing boats after that to get more experience delving into the world of sailing and dreaming of the freedom and self sustaining lifestyle. Getting it down from Seattle, WA was an adventure in itself, with a new boat, no wind and our tiller breaking in the Ballard locks. I was the only one on board with experience and my husband jumped on a sailboat for the first time, with immense trust in me. I felt the anxiety and weight of being responsible and wondered if this was for me. All summer I pushed myself and just sailed whenever I could in the lower Puget Sound, but the anxiety grew. Anything can go wrong, you just do not know! I can relate to how you are feeling and I have only been doing it for a few months. Thank you for the videos.

[@missmandarin9840]

I think you're very brave Elayna. You're a great mom too

[@carolinedaisy5593]

Time for a break on land ... Nothing wrong with that! Enjoy time with Lenny on land :)

[@felicia2398]

Elayna... You are the best and bravest Mom for Lenny and the best and bravest partner for Riley. Maybe all three should take a mini rest.

[@melodybroome6203]

Yes, taking a break is always good when things feeling overwhelming.

[@AidanGallagher]

BEST VIDEO EVER!!! Thank you for being brave enough to show it's not all perfect and anxiety is real. XOXO

[@yohjia4481]

"If you want to be a sailor you have to leave port." You guys inspire me to do the traveling I do. Both of you are wonderful souls, exposing yourself like this is fine. We appreciate and love the content regardless. Do what you need to do, we will always support you. Cheers.

[@camille4608]

Elayna, you showing us your vulnerability and struggles shows us just how brave you truly are

[@SwampRadioAr]

Just so you know I would watch yall's channel if your on a boat or living in a house. You guys need a break from the sea. Please Do. we will follow yall where ever you go.

[@MissMiah18]

Love how raw this was! It’s okay to feel those emotions when everyone else is telling you to be grateful, it’s your life ❤️

[@lowtoe8030]

Getting softer as you get older? I thought I was the only one. Thanks Elayna stay strong ❤️

[@FrothLyfeSailingNandji]

We all know you are super brave Elayna and your doing an awesome job!

[@ksmit0111]

I just watched this episode after becoming a patreon and watching a ton of episodes over the last few weeks. You commented that you are not brave, I think you are super brave. Super brave for sharing your feelings like that, being a loving mom and wife. Your vids are so real and open and I know as someone who as been on this planet for 60 years so far,, you are genuinely good people. Love your channel. Sincerely. Take care.

[@jaynefuller4708]

Dear Elayna you have not lost your sparkle you constantly sparkle and are a source of joy to everyone around you. As we get older and as we stack up more experiences our threshold to handle them comes a bit worn and we are less resilient. Take some time to do more self-care I know that sounds like a tough statement but it will be the thing that helps you heal. You are blessed that Riley understands & will support you in every decision that you make. You’ve had a hectic time and a traumatic time with birthing Lenny. What you went through during that still overwhelms me and how you bounced back. But you need time and the constant pressure of being in survival mode even though you’re not aware of that but because of the environment you’re in this is where your state of being resides. Sending all my love and healing.You are a strong woman and you will have the strength to make the life choices that make you happy. Xxx

[@gregorkluss6782]

Just a quick tip to reduce stress hand catching a DJI drone: Switch of the downfacing collision sensor so the drone will not try to get away from your hand.

[@daveroberts6884]

Won't that add the risk of a water landing?

[@mickistevens4886]

Also, you can always add propeller guards.

[@Micington]

Phantom 4 is better drone for boat. Even with down facing cameras and prop guards it’s hopeless for boat and many other occasions

[@khadijagwen]

Having sailed, I have not seen you as risk takers. Raising a baby and doing all the stuff you do, it is a full load and then some. You have my respect and love. Having guests can be bloody too much.

[@DaveThomaCommerce]

So Riley let Lenny take the fall for drinking the rum? Good on you Riley.

[@OcRefrig]

🤣🤣

[@imthatsteff577]

Hahahah i cant stop watching that part 🤣🤣

[@lostinparadisefiji]

After 5 years of living on our boat as a child, sailing through the south Pacific with my film maker parents, going through cyclones, 20 ft waves, bumping over reefs, losing engines - there came a time that I would completely dread weighing anchor. I found myself constantly checking to see that we weren't dragging. I still feel this today when ever I am on a boat. It's ok to feel this way. Be brave and live your dreams ❤️

[@davidbissonnette7349]

It pains me to see you so sad Elena I don’t think anyone would blame you if you stoped sailing We all love and support you. I hope you feel better soon

[@captainggttv3243]

David Bissonnette she’s far from sad just having a bad day is all night not even call it a bad day just a bit stressful. chill out

[@annconnellan4902]

I know you won’t see this, I’m an avid follower --and love you -and I’m an Early child care teacher- Please Get Lenny a playpen and some age appropriate toys, and books. So you don’t have him watch him constantly. He’ll love it and so will you. And you won’t be so stressed xo

[@lanashaw4055]

Have a break from KZbin and sailing, go see your family have a break from everything for awhile have a think about everything then make a decision if this is really what you want. Maybe have some down time instead of editing all the time have debriefs after every Anchorage. Love watching you guys and watch your life’s grow.

[@shiloblankenship2283]

Thanks Elayna for sharing your feelings. We are 4 month into a 1 year cruising trip and I am learning how to deal with the anxiety that comes with this lifestyle. It is good to know I am not the only one who can feel this way sometimes!

[@katieirvine2845]

Elayna, your emotions are a perfectly acceptable reaction to your surroundings! Don't let anybody tell you to "man up" or "deal with it", that's dangerous. Remember that you're only in your 20s, if you think you should have it all worked out by now, don't worry! This lifestyle of having an audience is an incredible amount of pressure on you three while you're learning as you go. Lenny has the absolute best parents he could ask for, it's clear to see; keep focusing on you and your little family, we'll still be here. Mucho love from Wales🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

[@CMO0002]

One of my favourite quotes from the book 'The Zahir' by Paulo Coelho: "You're very brave." "No, I'm not, I'm afraid. But I have no choice."

[@rclines001]

Having a baby is stressful. Period. No matter the situation.

[@Tanya-lp4im]

Thank you for being vulnerable and transparent. I cannot begin to imagine, what it would be like to be a new mom on a boat in the middle of the ocean. You need your friends in your life to help carry the load emotionally. Do more FaceTiming if possible. Make sure to make yourself and your relationship a priority. You do not owe anybody anything except your family. As I was listening to you talk about your anxiety and stress level, I was thinking that anxiety can be heightened by hormone levels out of balance as well as certain vitamin deficiencies. We just recently dealt with anxiety and depression that was caused by the latter as well as grief from losing a parent, grandparents and a friend within months of each other. Self care is important. Like you said talk to someone who can be supportive and help you work thru your thoughts and feelings. You are an amazing young woman and whether you think you are or not, is very brave. It takes guts to what you and Riley are doing and adding Lenny to the mix is a lot to handle. Family comes first. As long as family is good, the rest will fall into place. Many blessings to you all!! If you need a hiatus take one to focus on your health, physically and mentally. Know there are many out here praying for you guys for your safety and for your family. A friend of mine who is well known has a great quote. “ Always make sure the day has a good you! “. John-Erik. God Bless 💕💕

[@HardRockMiner]

Life gets to us all, guys. Try to find the fun in all your adventures. One day you'll both be old and sitting on a couch together and these times will be the greatest memories. I am continously amazed by what the 3 of you are doing. As you get thru these hiccups the next ones become easier. Eventually, nothing in life will be able to stop you. These are the good old days. Love from Canada. 🇨🇦

[@EmmaDee]

Girl, you have baby now and your worries are expected.

[@clair233]

Dont forget Elayna; your body is recovering from a human. Including your hormones. Love from London and a mum of 3 x

[@aaronweir816]

And no childcare ☹️

[@gemjay86]

Yes don't forgot it really takes your body a year to recover from having a baby. Not just how you look, but also your hormones and reactions to things. As a mother your behaviour will change, but you will slowly find yourself getting back to how you where xxx lots of love xxx

[@theBear89451]

I assume she is still breastfeeding. This does look like typical behavior from low progesterone levels.

[@momma2jax441]

I would agree the hormones make you feel crazy at times, I am a stay at home mom to a 4-year-old with cystic fibrosis and I recently started taking with a professional. Talking things through with someone other than your partner helps tremendously! For me, it couldn't be a friend or family I needed to speak openly and not have to think about how that person would react. I will say the weeks where I have little to no time for myself are by far the lowest points. Make time for yourself if putting down the camera for a while is it then so be it! We will all be here!

[@LukaBendzo]

The bravest thing is to stay true to your feelings at all times and you guys are great examples of that. Putting it all out and articulating how you feel is as helpful as it is hard as you are making yourself vulnerable. Taking on a lifestyle like you guys did where the beauty of your office is sometimes balanced out by the uncertainty and difficulties, is brave in itself. We all have a lot to learn from you guys and you are constantly making us reconsider our life choices (I'm sure I'm not the only one :) ). Most importantly, you are laying some great ground to your two little boys with your personalities and values. We love you!

[@captainmarkgray8856]

1.12 million subs and their families love you three. It's OK to have a good cry from time to time amid thanking God everyday for all you have from just being alive and safe daily to your good health etc... Love you three. Stay safe and have a good cry from time to time too :-)

[@TheWafty1]

Park the boat and take a break guys. We will be here when you come back.

[@paoloviloria1]

I agree with this guy. Take a break. Focus on enjoying time and being a family first. We are your fans/viewers, and we will be here when you resume. :)

[@ivanrojas1085]

Ditto that. I think a break from the ocean life could be a great idea, specially for Lenny.

[@meganking536]

You guys are incredible.... if you don't want to stop, at least slow down to one video a week. I cannot imagine that taking care of Lenny and all the editing on top of hurricane season is easy on either you. A little advice: as a toddler teacher, if you freeze a pacifier, waffle or pancake they make easy natural teethers. You can try massaging his gums as well to help them a breakthrough. I find that Nuby teething rings worked best for my students. If it is really bad, resort to baby Tylenol... I'm not one that normally suggests meds. But at the end of the day sometimes it is more important for both him and you to get some well-deserved rest. Thank you for bringing us the joy of family and adventure! Take a break :)

[@johnannovyn]

Stress is what you should avoid. We can do with less regular updates our best Friends we don’t see every week. Enjoy but don’ t stress

[@percivalhowell7516]

There are houses near water ; )

[@kydawg1684]

Nice job guys, thanks for sharing the real feelings of boat life. God bless and Godspeed no matter what you decide to do and whereever you guys go. I will be watching. Peace from Detroit Motor City Michigan.

[@jackiedaniels13]

Hey Elayna, I remember watching episode 44 like it was yesterday when you got burned making spaghetti carbonara and taking it like a champ. You were trying to rationalise it and put things into perspective, still how you do now (even with the humps and bumps since then)! You have so much to be proud of and you're totally within your rights to give yourself a break and take it easy. You have given so much back to the rest of us documenting you and Riley's (and now Lenny's) life so selflessly and artistically at the same time and hope you know things like this just make us appreciate you even more! Thanks for showing us another side to us and hope you are feeling better and lots of love from Australia xx

[@Mershedpaterters]

Sharing this was brave in its own right! Your fans will stand by you always! Love from Canada!

[@MrThuggery]

Sounds like depression mate. It happen to everyone at some stages of their lives. Talk to someone, you not nuts, just a little sad. I think you guys are absolutely amazing all of you!

[@captainggttv3243]

Mick Martin she’s not depressed omg everyone is so dramatic she just was having a bad/stressful day someone had a bad day or even one bad week and you diagnose them with depression? What the hell is wrong with people

[@MrThuggery]

@@captainggttv3243 Um who ever you are...I am a MH Clinician and I listened to all of her conversations about her increasing levels of anxiety and stress over "A long period of time". She can take it or leave it it's up to her to take my advice or not, no harm, no foul. Not sure what your quals are but your listening skill are quite poor.

[@captainggttv3243]

Mick Martin just stop

[@MrThuggery]

@@captainggttv3243 Might want to follow you're own advice petal.

[@captainggttv3243]

Mick Martin might wanna stop faking your degree on KZbin

[@dani-ol5xb]

This video is the epitome is being brave. Thank you for sharing and putting so much work into your art, it brings so much light into our world!

[@nielsdubbeld2767]

Aw, this is so real!! Life is not just happiness, it has all the emotions and sharing this made me love you guys even more! Elayna you are doing very well, being sad and emotional is just a part of you that you need to love as well. Nobody is perfect! Big hug for all three ❤️

[@rebeccabrunton5856]

Becoming a mother changes everything. It changes your brain, emotions and hormones. Be kind to yourself. Xxx

[@daryltaylor5277]

Have a holIday and spend 2 weeks on land. Let the battery recharge . Wish you all the best

[@harleymurphy9025]

DARYL TAYLOR that’s the opposite of a normal holiday lol

[@trigger9316]

@@harleymurphy9025 what???????????

[@daryltaylor5277]

@@harleymurphy9025 , that's the point, a boat is hard work. A land dwelling would relieve some stress and allow the batteries to recharge , giving more time for rest, and leisure. It's what the rest of us call a holiday

[@KrustyKlown]

or better yet, have a holiday of 2 weeks at sea.. then go back home.

[@trigger9316]

@@KrustyKlown dude they are always at sea you nitwit being on land will feel much more like a holiday then still being at sea

[@geraldthomas9253]

Elayna, as someone who is tasked with keeping dozens of people safe at all times while completing massive projects, let me tell you, we're all making it up. Nobody has it all together and if they do, they don't know where it's at. What you should focus on isn't that you don't have it all going on at all times. You should focus on how much you've accomplished and that when you really have to, you can do amazing things. Now go get a hug and some Lenny loves and back to it. You're a true warrior.

[@josoma]

I think sharing your vulnerability is possibly the bravest thing you could ever do! So even though it might not feel like it, know that you are an inspiration. Choosing the path our heart desires confronts us with our deepest fears at times and sharing our humanness with each is so incredibly important. thank you

[@FRDETsdfs]

The mother in you is telling you to "be safe and keep your child safe."

[@Sarconthewolf]

I think that's exactly what is happening. She can take care of herself in a bad situation but a small child is vulnerable and that worries her. That's why she spoke of a home where there is less unexpected situations arising.

[@OcRefrig]

Yep, i second that. Thats why the feelings are becoming more intense. She does NOT FEEL SAFE ! So, They have to figure out a Way to be More safe For Her. Maybe a sat Phone with a Helicopter pilots Name & number on speed dial at Every Port.

[@Jay-hr9ci]

@Mister Professor yeh. Making bulk coin

[@emiliabruun-hansen1231]

Elayna you ARE brave. And wonderfull love watching you become the strong woman you are ❤️

[@bareend1494]

Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is moving forward in spite of the fear.

[@ipaine12]

Bare End I think Socrates said that one.

[@bareend1494]

@@ipaine12 - No... I'm pretty sure that was me. :-)