How Narcissist Experiences/Reacts to No Contact, Grey Rock, Mirroring, Coping, Survival Techniques

[@guyvangru4848]

To the person who spent the very long time tediously & carefully editing out the translator, I appreciate your fine work.

[@marija3462]

0

[@pjstasyna1]

@@andreavanda5402 you know it was Sam vaknin lol it's excellent though, what a video love it

[@danh8388]

I thought this guy keep trying to say something, but he was so intimidated by Vaknin that he couldn't bring himself to speak

[@AuthenticWorkplace]

Absolutely appreciated!

[@crystal_2020]

Lol!! I didn’t know what was going on. I thought it was a narcissist standing behind him trying to steal the spotlight 😂😂😂

[@koda0388]

Q: Why did the narcissist cross the road? A: They thought it was a boundary.

[@adri-wx2yw]

Koda03 😂🤣😂

[@adisars7126]

haa good one

[@FreeQueenSee963]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@selammekonnen6633]

🤣😂😂😂

[@Astrid0705]

Lmao 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@kahrmensandiego]

"The minute you stop functioning he replaces you". This is true in every case.

[@SG-pd9mf]

That’s exactly what happened. He said our relationship wasn’t working so he started a relationship with someone else saying how she’s better than me

[@SG-pd9mf]

With the girl who used to bully me in high school

[@kahrmensandiego]

@@SG-pd9mf That's extremely typical. They will attempt to align themselves with anyone who views you in the same light or someone they can easily manipulate to see you in the light they do after the discard and they're always the victim in their version of events and coincidentally it's usually another narcissist or a long time enabler. They will then deploy this individual as needed, your own biological family members if available

[@kahrmensandiego]

@@SG-pd9mf "saying how she's better than me" sounds like there is still some contact. Like the teachings here, simply reverse the pattern internally and then go no contact and stay no contact.

[@SG-pd9mf]

@@kahrmensandiego omg that makes so much sense I genuinely couldn’t imagine why he would do that but I get it now. You just opened my eyes. She is also very mean she became a model so I know she always thought she was better than me

[@katychamberlain982]

‘The narcissist loves his wife, he also loves rice. You are a commodity’ Boom 💥 so many great lines in this presentation.

[@LouisMaxBlank]

My narcissist partner looks forward to coming home and seeing me again and making pasta with his pasta machine he could not use while being away. We'll have a multiple person dinner. I started to enjoy this relationship as a study. Maybe I became narcissistic too.

[@heynow7363]

​@@LouisMaxBlank life is strange, init?

[@HereForToday42]

No Core. No Soul. Go NO CONTACT and save your own life

[@Apoelnike]

✝️

[@fungi42o0]

EMPTY

[@kresivarivkah612]

Absolutely.

[@leahklatt3873]

To the person dealing with a manipulative narcissistic in your life, you will pull through it. It will be okay. The light will shine again.

[@WandaPashe]

Such hope....so needed. But there does seem like aight at the end of the tunnel. Thanks. 👍👍

[@finseven6951]

Thank you ❤

[@marifran]

So sad. It is best to disengage from the narcissist completely. I would not want to live if I was a narcissist.

[@blossom1643]

Thanks sure hope you are right

[@trini_a_Lana]

😢

[@fabiolaneofernandez4502]

There is nobody there , empty palace, nobody home , no person . So scary

[@natasaprot1811]

09:30 there is nobody here

[@shekinahfire5936]

Yeah, they're full of demons.

[@johncaccioppo1142]

Alfred Adler wrote about this. It's only scary when a person first realizes that the persona is indeed like an onion, many layers of ego formed around traumas that are peeled away as we work to heal each trauma through cognitive re-evaluation. In the end, we are empty, like an infant, and we realize we are alone with the universe, but we are also part of it. It's not frightening at all once a person accepts they are but a tiny fragment of something far bigger than their own identity, something eternal by our comprehension and all-powerful... but one has to give up the motives of the selfish ape. The narcissist simply skips the healing part and jumps right into the godhood state of mind, feeling all-powerful, yet pulled constantly back into the unhealed traumas via the mechanism of karma. They externalize their own abuses. This is how the victim becomes the abuser and maintains the motives of the ape.

[@mercedestrinidad8650]

I took a picture of him he was not there

[@Yurkidding]

I think this is the end of the world, loss of real humans and remains the soul less robot, a narcissist

[@jenniferwoodruff8815]

Hospitalized for three nervous breakdowns and a suicide attempt, i was finally able to get up enough courage to leave him after nine years... Please RUN and save your life... Leave them behind... God bless

[@romanv5457]

I hope u doing good

[@Thrivinlily]

🙏🏽

[@virginiaceballos144]

Yes run away it is the best !!! If I need to see all these videos to learn how to manipulate him !!! This is not love ! It is fake love .!!!

[@flynnnewsblog9627]

God bless you Jennifer. You entered hell, yet managed to find a way to return from it. You are very special.

[@63Smooth_Mc]

​Thank you Blessings@flynnnewsblog9627

[@twopurringcats]

Both my parents are narcissists. Mom is a diagnosed, high level one. I no longer make any effort to know them because they believed in "tough love", bullying, threatening and manipulating all my life but I was taken from them for my safety at 16, stayed in therapy, learned boundaries and was independant. My mother hates me and through many years, taught dad to hate me too. My therapists always hated them. I had to do everything in my own and grew strong. Now I'm 57 and they discarded me after I went very low contact. Its ok. I'm happy and at peace while they live in a world of anger and hatred. They got worse in old age. When they told me they wanted me to die before them and tried to steal (again), I let go. It's better to be alone than with people who cannot love.

[@peacefulpath222]

I hope you have found the peace that you deserve 🙏

[@billbates5475]

You were lucky to find out at 16. I didn't find out till a few years ago. I'm 56. I knew there was always something very wrong though. I;m no contact now.

[@pichmolm]

"They live in a world of anger and hatred", this is the determining point 👍

[@tsin6506]

You are BLESSED to realize the importance to leave toxic parents for sanity and self preservation :)

[@NB-2020]

Your family sounds like mine... please describe your dad and how your mom made him hate you. I am asking because I have sensed that is what my mother is doing to me ...

[@AM-xe4iq]

You will drive yourself insane trying to get through to this person or have a normal life and normal interactions with them. The glimpses of normalcy that they give to you are not real and you’ll latch onto those thinking that they are. It’s best to just.....stop. Stop reacting. Stop giving emotion good or bad. Stop explaining. Stop reaching out. Stop getting upset. Stop including that person in things. Just stop. It’s a lost cause. Don’t fall for the nice things they do thinking they’re finally seeing the light. They’re not and they never will and they will keep you in a never ending cycle like that. You can choose what you participate in and you have to stop participating if you want a normal, happy life. You will never have that with them and that’s a hard truth to contend with because we want to believe something else. You have to move on from this person. Period.

[@margaretcasey871]

That is the best answer I’ve ever heard, thank you. A person of that way of selfishness can not be fixed. 🇮🇪

[@stevetrivago]

Easier said than done, but I agree 100% Thank you

[@shellysheble3162]

10000000% after 33 years I’ve seen it all. They.Don’t.Change!!! They only ramp up. I promise you you’re better off alone than to endure this for even 6 months! GET OUT☠️☠️☠️

[@loislane7958]

@@dotdashdotdash 70%?? this is what scares me so much! I just went no contact with my narcissistic lover and it is very hard for me to keep it up because I fell deeply in love with him 4 years ago. Strange as it seems, his terrible narcissistic actions have diminished my love for him but not completely eradicated my love for him. Im worried that It will.be so hard to find a sane man in this world.

[@loislane7958]

@@stevetrivago True: very hard to do. I just went no contact since 10 days and very hard to keep it up. I just miss the good parts of being with him, eventhough they were very few and far between...

[@godsrichgirlsllc8234]

What I’ve noticed abt narcissistic parents is they don’t allow children to create boundaries and if the child does, the narcissist either shames them or emotionally abandons them.

[@bip-someandnone8698]

Right!

[@christinamisuraca5325]

What a crying shame that is

[@rubberbiscuit99]

Yes, there is heavy censure for the child who tries to express himself. The conditioning leads these children, as adults, to tolerate narcissistic partners, colleagues, and friends.

[@Tothosethatneed]

This is the deepest video that I've seen on Narcissist, and I've watched plenty. I actually feel sorry for my narcissist ex. This video has also made me feel a sense of freedom from the trauma bond that I have been experiencing. Thank you Sam

[@hunor6]

Exactly how I feel too. ❤

[@humbertosouza9013]

Forgiving it's great to set people free.

[@mr.e7541]

I don't know if everything he's saying is true. Like why would you trust someone who says you can't trust him. The whole thing about him being bipolar that sounds suspicious to me. The whole losing memory thing. Kind of sounds like a lot of excuses. Which is fitting for a narcissist who thinks that nothing's their fault. And also I think it's quite normal and common for people to have conflicting viewpoints on things. It means that you have an open mind. And as far as personality goes I think personality is something that you develop. If he's a narcissist and don't care about helping people why is he giving this lecture.

[@Tothosethatneed]

@@mr.e7541 okay.

[@zobiaaslam3344]

@sam my question is “you said in one of your video that narcissistic is a choice .. so even if no emotions there but there’s mind what is right or wrong ? Why they can’t take themselves out from where’s destroying others with the help of analytical thinking…

[@Balkanovsky]

"You never speak to the same person"... that hit hard. From my experience the narcissist who tortuted me, cheated ,left me and replaced instantly was like this- now i get it. The lovely and awe inspiring person I met disappeared after a month or so, and I was left in a complete shock trying to find them, while being exposed to their new versions who were becoming worse day by day. I was there all the time with nothing but love. Thank God I managed to find strength,recover as much as I could quickly and block them.

[@Supergigi21]

How did you get through this

[@joniatoms9798]

Exactly

[@Desert_Overtrail]

Wow, This is almost exactly what happened to me. But I am nervous to fully block them and they make contact with me sporadically and I just pretend to be living a boring life. I just don't want to deal with any more stress but I know at some point I have to go no contact.

[@irisrose4732]

Yup. Sounds familiar. I feel shell-shocked, and my heart is broken, but I am very strong. I just did a disappearing act on him and know that I have to stay that way. It's hard.

[@joniatoms9798]

@@irisrose4732 💞

[@claireclaire1066]

I’m making plans to leave. I’m shit scared don’t have much but I know one day I’ll be free of this nightmare and in a much better place.

[@Laughinggray]

You go girl! I wish you a lot of courage, and please keep in mind: waiting doesn't help in any way.

[@suncentury7020]

Arm yourself with Trace face it videos as you pack. She really helped me. Remember to be stealth.

[@BookWorm2369]

Leave ASAP, make a safety plan, invite the help of only people you trust. The longer you wait, the more damage to your psyche you risk. Your physical safety is also extremely important. Please get help and get out.

[@charlene2349]

Sending love ❤️

[@osowers6755]

Freedom from being dominated and controlled is so wonderful and beautiful it is like drinking spring water after walking in a dry desert all your life. The dust and dirt of the relationship don't go away immediately but in time you get clean by washing it off and staying out of the dirt of that relationship.

[@misstidoy]

Wow, okay the whole "falling in love again" makes so much sense. After the discard and chaos I decided to give my self some love and I changed my haircut and colour, I lost weight, I moved and bought a flat, I went back to start my masters... my friends told me I was glowing and guess who came hoovering? I got irritated and blocked him and months later learnt about narcissism.

[@user-of9bx1uk3u]

Good for You!💖

[@paulettewhite2866]

That sounds just like my story! Wow!

[@misstidoy]

@@paulettewhite2866Sorry to hear you have been through it too but well done for bossing up like the queen you are! 👏🏽👸🏾 thank you for letting me know I am not alone 🙏🏾

[@Sun.Gemini]

Good like dear and well done 👏👏🙏🙏

[@charlene2349]

I started finding myself and getting more aligned with Source and suddenly in one weekend crazy awesome sex and talk of a ring. I honestly felt the inauthenticity and lack of presence. It was a new snapshot of me he must have taken where I was working on myself.

[@jessicalove4549]

“There is nobody home, no one there” this hit me hard, I am crying. I wish i could go back in time and just save you all, somehow some way. This is so heartbreaking. Thank you for your truth.

[@sashalu13]

So sad that a child has to make a new self that he can admire because hes been not allowed to be valued for his own self. Not allowed to be independent. And so it's a survival technique. But the price he pays is he has no real inner self. It's gone with the abuse.

[@chanchan5349]

My experience completely. I’ve known our marriage wasn’t healthy & certainly hasn’t benefited me emotionally or supportive, but I could never put my finger on what it was specifically. Fast forward 38 years I discovered he is a neglectful narcissist + ? and I discovered Prof. Valknin. Suddenly my life makes sense.

[@G.C-e9j]

אין אף אחד בבית. נכון מאד. בעלי הוא נרקסיסט והבת שלי כל הזמן אומרת שהיא לא מרגישה חשובה עבורו למרות שעם השנים הוא למד לשחק אותה דואג. אבל בני אדם נורמליים שיש להם רגשות מרגישים מתי זה באמת ומתי זה שקר

[@irisrose4732]

❤

[@Dee-ee3lp]

God is real,angels and demons are real , are eternal so they cannot die. They are territorial and follow your family bloodline , for generations and study family exploit their weaknesses order to destroy families as well as opportunity to destroy ives , come and go at will and even occupy your body at will, unless you know your authority over them to break their influence in your life and even kick them out of your life and your family bloodline. These spiritual creachers from hell DESIRE AN EMPTY VESSEL to manifest in the earth. whether you believe it or not These entities are present everywhere.

[@vercingetorixavernian8978]

Not all traumatized kids become narcissists, but all narcissists are traumatized kids.

[@marsaeille]

Not at all. Sometimes they’re overindulged and spoiled as children, idolized and adored by their parents and can do no wrong.

[@jennifers3828]

@@marsaeille he mentions this in another video, it’s when the praise is taken away. Like child stars… have so many have issues. They crave that attention when it’s taken away. The best way to relate to this feeling is a break up with a romantic partner.

[@chrisryan8458]

I agree!

[@andrewamata]

@@marsaeille that is also trauma.

[@shponglechunch]

​@@andrewamata yeah it's still parental abuse for sure

[@Nina-vv3ev]

“Misery loves company” just got a deeper meaning

[@marianatequiero28]

Way deeper

[@beccamartin674]

When the devil himself can't come to the party, he sends a narcissist. I Got sick of the same boring cycle of mental abuse, so decided that dancing with the devil wasn't all it was made up to be! Horrible creepy characters, the lot of them!

[@Cristiano2012NL]

Narcissist are the devil for 100% ... they play a durty game white people ... especially if you are isolated....

[@TheMazinoz]

Immutable and evil. Get the f..k AWAY!

[@paularhiaojeda9867]

You got it, perfectly and literally right, the devil's do show up as a narcisist.

[@Astrid0705]

If narcissism is the future, humanity ends.

[@signe8321]

Its already everywhere and almost everybody. Atleast where I come from

[@RHope7]

It's probably why the prophesy of revelation is true and imminent. Spirit development is more difficult to achieve on our own, if narcissism needs a fourth Reich backup of fallen away disbelief. It's stormtroopers and deference arrogance all over again. Only this time covert. Time to value worthiness like never before.

[@RHope7]

@@elliskent7283 Yes, it does say "knowledge shall increase". Awareness is antidote to deception.

[@martinburrows6844]

@@Rider3322 ?

[@RHope7]

@@ladybird491 When all you have to do is want the father's (gift givers) no guile will. All Narcs want is their own guile with the wrong father.

[@mamacitasalsera]

The last time I spoke to him, after he tricked me in a horribly cruel way I asked him "what is it that you want from me? Do you want me to die, is that it?" Now I know that is actually what he wanted. I was in an awful state, but after 8 months no contact I am stronger and happier than ever. Do whatever it takes to heal and bounce back. It's the best revenge and your conscience is clean.

[@mamacitasalsera]

@@lioydwilliams1850 thank you 😊

[@Jezebel066]

So hard to realize he never loved me. That wonderful sweet sweet man wasn’t even him.. he made me believe for the longest time he changed bc I was such a horrible wife to him. Years of trying so hard to make him love me again. Never speaking up if I was hurt bc I knew it would just be a fight. Always being told nobody would love me. That I’m so messed up. I really am shocked now that he’s divorcing me, that ppl love me! I was so worried for so long ppl would think I caused him to leave me. I was brainwashed in so many ways. Still trying to understand the truth.

[@gabrielle-AVFloyd]

I asked him the same thing, and why he is destroying me..nobody home is right, nothing there. Empty.

[@mandylohof2971]

When I asked mine he said yes he wanted me to kill myself. 2 he said making me feel like shit everyday would make me not leave him. Im still blown away. I thought I loved a guy who wanted me to die and actually put my life my daughters life and his own kids lives in danger all the dang time because he really gave 2 shits about anyone in his life.

[@chakkakon]

I asked the same thing. “You want me dead? Are you going to kill me? Do you love me?” Response: You need help. Get on medication. That’s not an answer. Be aware for poisonings.

[@MattRamseyArt]

This guy is proof that narcissists can become consciously aware enough to suppress those tendencies and be openly honest about who you are. It’s almost as if a narcissist may be able to have some true identity by accepting and acknowledging their narcissism. I mean, how can somebody who isn’t there understand the concept of labeling oneself when that very action requires one to be aware of the self?

[@323martyrstreet8]

So you're saying that all his manerism, his personality is fabricated ?

[@pipoca3900]

​​@@323martyrstreet8sure, is narcisist. He isnt trying to help, he just recieve admiration of people, his work, books, paper, etc. Are made in the trying to make him strong in some area, to highlight

[@lissesanchez9604]

I believe, they can be aware but can’t control it, they learnt to ignore people’s emotions cause theirs were ignored for so long. Some of them want to change but their pain engraved bad instructions on how to survive in life. They kind of hide who they really are. They hate what they went through during their childhood, and hate themselves for not being able to escape it. They were damaged badly and haven’t find Jesus Christ to erase and recreate a new self ❤ meaning Love

[@TheSenate3316]

Imagine you're looking at a body in the mirror, being completely aware that there is a body standing in front of the mirror. You can observe objectively various characteristics and properties of the body. Shape, size, other physicality's. But truly what you see is a piece of glass, there is nothing behind it. No semblance of what was just seen in the mirror. Now imagine when you think about yourself, looking in a mirror. You would see your body sure, but in a way, you would also have a feeling of who you are, from your past and experiences you've had. This creates the 'you' that you feel you see in the mirror. Imagine looking so deeply into your own consciousness to the part where you would find your true self, who you think you are and ultimately finding nothing but a complicated mirror with nothing behind it. It is a wild realisation to look into the mental abyss and not even have the comfort of your own company. Because the concept of 'yourself' doesn't even exist.

[@DoubleDownDawn]

Don’t be fooled. He’s capable of entertaining an audience which is the only thing he cares about. He will still treat anyone in an intimate relationship like garbage

[@shelleyjeanne257]

I remember looking at my husband and thinking "no one is home".

[@itsall_coming_down]

My ex bf used to look at himself in the mirror and say. “I don’t even know who I am anymore.” Scary!

[@beckyenglish4783]

I’ve been there.

[@janesantoni3045]

Eyes are dark and dull...very bland

[@bettymoore3924]

@@janesantoni3045 hi jane

[@hopefull7904]

I experienced the same. They are empty.

[@leesesommer2861]

I have listened to countless self appointed experts attempt to define NPD. However, after listening to Sams lecture, I have a crystal clear understanding of all aspects of the the narcissistic personality. If you are suffering from narcissistic abuse, you need to hear this. Thank you Sam.

[@holeef...v2994]

Damn right. I m shocked, big time, but its eye-opener big time is well

[@DarkMetaOFFICIAL]

its so much to realize all at once. this is the biggest thing that has ever happened to me, by me, whatever it is, not IN my life, this thing IS my life, and i'm not even fully aware or participating yet. i am so grateful for people like you, and chat, and Sam the most, he is deciphering my very existence in real time as i watch every second hyperfocused

[@2967_]

They are usually men.

[@SUPERN0VAgirl]

100% accurate. I realized what he was, finally concluded and accepted that he would never change. And then went no contact. It'll get easier! One day at a time, & if you go back, continue working on yourself by going within. Everyone going through this, stay strong. You're not crazy, you don't deserve this. Accept that this is what's going on, and move on as best you can. 🌼

[@1111spiritualone]

i went no contact n its been a year

[@countrygirl4213]

Thankyou

[@cliftonashley3816]

Thanks

[@skygallagher]

Well said ..No judgement, I like that .Thank you.

[@Maria_9789]

Thank you

[@TheHereigoagain]

I rid myself of the narcissist in my life! Everything got better for me. Truly you must distance yourself from toxic people in your life they have nothing else to give but destruction that is all they know. Look after yourself. God bless you and yours!

[@iamkendraofficial2174]

When my narc discarded me his reasons were… 1. You wielded your power too much and didn’t yield to me 2. You treated me disrespectfully 3. You treated me badly So much of what was explained in this presentation happened to me.. exact stuff. Mind blowing!!

[@salonsavy6476]

How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb 💡?,,,, none !,,, they Gaslight !!

[@melodieperkins7080]

That is so true. Gaslighting is their true nature

[@mshypnotiq8]

🤭😂😂

[@debifambro1039]

🤣🤣🤣💯

[@Spitfyre13]

😁😆👍

[@dinorahdarby4499]

Oh ho ho good one😆

[@maxineamon]

It's a relief when a narcissist tells a lie to your face and you both realise there is no way it can be true. You final realise that the slanted interpretations, accusations of forgetfulness and that you are crazy were all inventions. It was them all along. And they realise that you now know that and can't be fooled again.

[@indraniganguly-fitzgerald2788]

"There is NOONE there; and you are not special". Most valuable take home for me. It is frightening and 100% true.

[@desertrose4167]

Spooky to the core! Looking back, 20 years, shitman!!

[@elsiemarina2572]

That cold empathy explanation sent chills down my spine. Amongst the thousands of examples I saw ( only know do I realize what they were) was the night my mother died. He seemed robotic, alien like when he consoled me. I felt nothing coming through when he was holding me as I cried.

[@G.C-e9j]

גם לי זה קרה. בדיוק אותו הדבר!!!

[@arose4302]

Same. Once when my narc was “comforting” me while crying. I felt this empty feeling. I looked up. He was rubbing my back, but was staring at his phone scrolling social media while I cried. It shocked me so much I stopped crying right then and there. He then just stood up and walked out of the room. No words, nothing. The most robotic thing I’ve ever seen.

[@MrsB-vk8ff]

@@gjthomas9770🕯️💜

[@MrsB-vk8ff]

Hi Elsie Marina, I was in similar experience in diferent way, and cant realise myself enought. I feel frustated with myself. Could we speak throught email? 💝thanks

[@Spiralout-lh4dj]

I want to preface first and say I'm so sorry!! At least you got something... my ex would just stare at me with those empty eyes while I would be bawling!! And tell me to shut the f up... That I was annoying him for crying... Then would leave for hrs on end leaving me alone in a state of utter torment. I never want to experience another narcissist again. 5yrs of absolute fucking torture, abuse, manipulation n pure lies.. so sick to get used n taken advantage of when I thought we were really engaged and going to married; NOT thrown out on the streets with nothing, no one to turn to and nowhere to go!!! Completely broken, destitute and so utterly heartbroken, out of nowhere too. Then to act like I never existed, zero remorse, no empathy... I have witnessed the depths of a very damaged "person" and lost myself (temporarily) and am climbing myself up and out day by day. It's only been 2 months and as much as it kills, it feels amazing to not wake up to getting screamed at or controlled or have my money stolen from me or being lied to, cheated on multiple times, gaslit into thinking I wasn't seeing or reading what I was with my own TWO eyes!!! Him never ever being there for me, but me constantly being there for him. It's truly so sad. I can't imagine having no emotions, no soul, no morality.... It's utterly insane to me and I'm so sorry to you and anyone who has experienced this type of hell!!! Truly!!!!

[@maiussoren6641]

After spending more than 3 years with my covert narcissistic expartner I knew there is something very wrong with this person. But after listening to this it is horrific to realize how extremely messed up people they are...I feel at the same time so sorry for them, but also scared af of them.

[@Skootfairy]

Agreed! I have empathy for their suffering like sinking in quick sand, but also getting-the-fuck-out, bc their idea of love is dragging you into the quick sand with them.

[@AMB1782g]

I feel the same. I found myself tearing up listening to this because it's so sad they live in this narc world. It is now crystal clear.

[@heidimuniko6877]

Oh my gosh... how can anyone survive that??? It's like living with a total psychopath. I am so grateful to people like Sam who offers such amazing information to the world. Thank you Sam!

[@aselyne5631]

You don't survive, you get away and never look back

[@heidimuniko6877]

That sounds like a great strategy. Were you a victim?

[@Rawyalty220]

Sam does have amazing knowledge but u realize he’s a self-proclaimed narcissist aswell right?🤣

[@principessailaria]

@@Rawyalty220 i heard him proclaiming himself a narcissist I'm not sure how to take his lectures then

[@Justwatchedyou]

You don't survive. That's what he said. Victims of Narcissists describe the feeling of dyeing inside and usually develop some form of Personality Disorder after being exposed to the Narcissist. .... We died. We flatlined. What carries on is a cold corpse that we work hard to restore life to, in the hopes of having some semblance of healthy normalcy again. Eventually after much therapy of all sorts, we get a little blip of a heart beat on the screen again. Then hopefully a recovery journey can be made.

[@kevinpeasetennisprofession4905]

This is perhaps the saddest lecture I’ve ever heard. The description of how I view time (past, present, future) is a continuation. And the narcissist views time as a simulation. The dots are not connected. This explains so much. Beautiful experiences are forgotten. Horrible experiences are forgotten. Plans are forgotten. Even the now can’t be fully enjoyed because of self distraction. It’s an illness. I pray for the narcissist that I love so much. I’m not with her. And I see how it can never work because of the illness. My heart goes out to her. This doesn’t mean that I’m free of attachment emotionally, at least yet, but I’m getting there. And I know of my own reasons why I have this attachment. Love isn’t always enough for alignment to take place. It’s so sad and I say that with love that the dream can never come true. It never has and never will.

[@moondust1979]

The best line Sam ever used was ‘it’s not about you, you are just caught in their crossfire..’

[@NotMyWillButThineBeDone]

The blessing of experiencing a narcissist in this life, is that they expose your own ego. They break any importance you ever felt. As dark as that sounds.. it could be life changing in a beautiful way.

[@mindfullytransformed448]

So so true.

[@hg007]

Agreed

[@elizabethy2912]

Yes, I agree.

[@ChuckLuna-j1h]

I agree❤

[@ChuckLuna-j1h]

I agree❤

[@stoplayin21]

The first sacrifice was your authentic self, the next sacrifice is the authenticity of everyone else. 😮🤯That’s such a good analogy and so true. WOW

[@TheMazinoz]

They won't rest till they have killed your soul and sometimes your body. They are like vampires sucking all the joy out of your life.

[@adisars7126]

This was really good! The biggest lesson for me is to learn not to engage such people.

[@smilebyyourself]

Trying to go no contact with my family.

[@adisars7126]

@@smilebyyourself sorry for what you're going through, I hope it gets easier.

[@be7169]

Affirmative Ghost Rider. Do NOT engage! I repeat, do NOT engage! How copy? Over.

[@TheMazinoz]

​@@Cherry-kt8zoThat's why I'm here to pick up on them asap!

[@itayichiwala7937]

"...there's no narcissist alive whose mental age is higher than 11"

[@sonjawilliams989]

I heard that too. Mother is no higher than a 6yr old.

[@RHope7]

Hence the stroppy capable assertions. Comparitors actually think they don't need the reflective energy/reward the rest of us need. Spoilt deference.

[@Monet491]

Eww why does this make me feel so gross, like the man I've been sleeping with is actually a child 🤢🤮

[@RHope7]

Narcs are perfectly usefull in a noguile boundary, but their childish volition makes a hapless upset out of everyone else. I think it's called the new black. God speed the Lord Nobody is a child in an honour above thieves of respect

[@johncaccioppo1142]

It certainly won’t hold you back in this society.

[@izzymeadows1748]

That’s so true in my experience. He has a total lapse of memory. Times spent together, things we did together. It’s like it never happened. It was so eerie. It was like starting from Scratch every time with him: weird energy vibes from him like no one was there. He’d seem edgy and distant almost vacant.

[@mayday24176]

Sounds exactly like my situation. Unreal. A vicious cycle. Hurts bad.

[@gabriellaluzpm]

Same for me. So empty. He makes promises that he never follows through

[@christycomer373]

That’s the truth!

[@iopakayalo3459]

It's like they choose to have temporary amnesia. Very confusing but there were times he remembered certain things that we did together except he remembered years later, like a decade later, he'd recall so yes, very confusing...., also the cold empathy and sex, so true. It is a pattern!

[@yentl8638]

You want to talk more about it?

[@kunststof]

I don't think I have ever had such a focus for a full 58 minutes. Thanks.

[@zubieM]

The narcissist loves his wife and he also loves rice- he doesn’t know the difference wow!

[@concretehabitsch7277]

He knows the difference. That's my understanding of the whole talk. He has similar empathy for wife and rice

[@melanieparis8697]

Wow⁉️☕️

[@beautifulone6533]

@@concretehabitsch7277 yyyy

[@beautifulone6533]

@@concretehabitsch7277 UTI

[@beautifulone6533]

@@concretehabitsch7277 u

[@rlsloan80]

The snapshot makes sense. The narcissist has to freeze you in time, so they can interact with the you they met before they did all the awful shit to you they did. The snapshot has no idea what they are dealing with; the "you've changed" person does.

[@mimi42428]

Bam 💥

[@NewNameNaomi]

And they are almost offended when you do something that doesn’t match their snapshot of you. How dare you not match exactly to the idealized image they have of you. All humans should change and grow but they infantilize you and never want you to grow up.

[@rlsloan80]

@@NewNameNaomi Indeed! Another example of their projection of themselves onto you. They don't grow and evolve, so you don't, either!

[@nabilaoukhiat7247]

He told me you are not the same you become different 😂

[@colleensaylors3357]

Mine doesn't like my physical changes, bad knees ( walk with a limp now) and I wear glasses ( asked me to not wear them to his company Christmas party). And boy is he hyper vigilant always searching for anything that could mean disrespecting him! Sadly he has taught his son to be the same .

[@TheGigaGenesis]

The narcissist distorts your cognition to the point where you forget who you used to be, what you liked about yourself, what you enjoyed doing etc... if you have made up your mind about leaving or have already left, take the time to find yourself again, it doesn't happen by itself even when they're gone. Affirm yourself, feel yourself, your body, again, find out once more what felt good to YOU, just YOU.

[@samvaknin]

Watch the NA Healing playlist.

[@TheGigaGenesis]

@@samvaknin Will do sir. Your work has already helped me tremendously, much respect 🙏

[@mariakelly5273]

It takes a while but you DO repair. Your core rebuilds itself. You learn to trust yourself again. Only once you have ceased ALL contact. They will keep 'checking in' but you must ignore completely.

[@CelticCrow777]

My sister is an example of a covert narcissist and after many years of her toxic treatment of me 3 years ago I cut her off, and my god did that make her so mad, to the point of craziness. She unfortunately has turned the rest of the family against me and they in turn have cut me and my family out, my 3 children are their only grandchildren, I have and will continue to remain dignified in silence and integral in my behaviour but it still hurts 😢, but unfortunately it is the price i have to pay for a life free of bullying, manipulation, drama and constant put downs.

[@mde6006]

Same here. I only have one child but the rest is they same, they even contacted a psyc ward to tell them I must be mad as I had cut them out. When I didn't contact them about it they then called social services to say I was a bad parent. My sister and mother hadn't seen us in 3 yrs so how on earth would they know anyhow? I ignored that too. Then my mum offered to buy me a house! Wtf?! 😂😂 Complete insanity!

[@CelticCrow777]

@@mde6006 OMG 😲, funny you should say that about the house, my mum always been throwing money at me, as if trying to buy my complacency in both her and my sisters behaviour, keep standing in your truth and integrity, that's what keeps you head and shoulders above them all, peace and love, ❤🙏🙂

[@jenchristianrn1]

Me too. Crazy how they turn everyone against you. People actually believe them! When I left the first time he made me homeless. Just left again and well he’s getting ahold of everyone I know. This is bad. Keep you head up. Seek God. He is a way maker.

[@CelticCrow777]

@@jenchristianrn1 keep strong many prayers and blessings 🙏 ❤

[@CelticCrow777]

@Amber maillet they become master manipulators and fool everyone with their lies, but its the lies that are so hurtful 💔, they tell them with such conviction that others can't not but believe them, my sister caused such toxic drama and devastation allher life between everyone and I was always stuck in the middle, constantly peacemaking and sorting out the wreckage after, then I get ostracised for finally cutting her out, but its for my higher good and I trust that my karmic debts are finally paid , 🙏

[@commonsense4154]

You just nailed it.....everytime he explained something..i would say ...wait something aint right...what you just said doesn't make sense...he skips and leaves things out like he thinks it and believes he said it...but actually he does have a laps in memory on things and swears he explained the whole thing....omg i knew i wasn't crazy😳🤦

[@miss_karenjoselin]

I felt crazy for a while also

[@astriearif6040]

True.

[@chakkakon]

I now have a small MP3 player recording at all times. Sometimes I put one in each room, when I’m expecting a confrontation / fight.

[@FMT2003]

I felt exactly the same. I even tried video taping us in an argument so I could show him what he’s doing-of course he never did it when I was taping-probably shouldn’t have told him I was taping. He almost drove me nuts. So glad I got out.

[@Sarahsemails09]

I was accused of not making sense…every time I spoke… He would bring things up from 2014…we weren’t even together then…I couldn’t remember…so I was apparently lying…it’s abuse on next level

[@Christynmaine]

At last! I understand why the counselor my ex and I were seeing wanted to work with me and not my ex. He knew he could help me work through my anger and guilt. He also knew he wouldn’t be able to help my narcissistic ex. Thank you, Dr Vaknin. You’re a blessing.

[@jacydyer5489]

That inner death of the person allowing narcissistic abuse is their self-acknowledgment of their own powerlessness at that point. The pain of their own continual self-betrayal has finally caught up with them, AND all for a person who has proven that they are not decent. Self hate has arrived. Can't trust your own decisions so you can't trust yourself, therefore you can't trust anyone. You feel alone.

[@charlene2349]

I'm still dealing with the self hatred after realizing how much I betrayed and abandoned myself. I'm working to forgive myself!

[@adamcallaghan2135]

Inner death they thrive on is crazy man. But accurate.

[@deedeemc4]

@@charlene2349 the fact that you realize this is a huge step toward loving yourself again! Every little step you take will bring you back to the person you were before you lost yourself in the dysfunction.

[@jayabalachandran7902]

so well said , same thoughts I used to have, feeling powerless, alone, angry , crazy , but slowly realised that person who abused nd manipulates is not worth remembering or sulking for , be happy frm inside , find inner peace ( I found my inner peace through meditation ),be strong nd move on in life , never give up ur happiness for such useless jerks, once while walking on the streets, I came across a person wearing a tshirt with a message-- dont make stupid people famous 😁😁,

[@melissb465]

Yes. But it gets better. We can heal.

[@Escobaz96]

This is a mind blowing perspective!!! I watched many narc vids but never heard it approached from this angle. I guess if you wanted to play mind games you could reverse cycle the narc...but a healthy relationship seems so much better haha

[@charlene2349]

Yes, I thought about what good it would do me to reverse the cycle! I don't want anything to do with them. Period!

[@Sara.Bute.2015]

True. Too much self sacrifice for no gain basically.

[@jacksoninvestmentgroupllc1728]

If you reverse cycle it helps you move forward. That’s his point here, because once you reverse, the narcissist is the last person on your mind, what they say and do doesn’t matter because in reversal you have already moved forward.

[@limitlessinfinite2284]

@@Sara.Bute.2015 so true. Self-sacrifice isn't worth anything in this world. It's gaining the world and losing your soul. Not worth it.

[@kellynxo]

It's because Sam Vaknin is a diagnosed narcissist himself. He totally changed the game being a narcissist himself and devoted his life to learning about his disorder 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

[@yvettep1093]

I’m not entirely sure if this crowd understands Sam’s “snapshot” explanation but it is the best one I’ve ever heard!!!

[@dodjiegarcia2320]

That translates to ideation, idealization, then later on, after their disillusionment, they devalue then discard.

[@janetkirigo8522]

for sure! I got it 100%...it all made sense..

[@cindyd3714]

Yes it sure is the best! Hope people pay attention to that because it is spot on. With some of their partners they don’t use a snapshot from their mental camera. They use an actual snapshot (photo) and they protect that photo like it is their entire world even after the narcissist betrays & abandons you. He needs to protect that image so desperately that he will break into your house to get it after relationship ends. It’s bizarre.

[@juney18]

Yes, the snapshot he/she develops is a good way to understand how their mind is so messed up.

[@oh_ze]

I sure knew what he meant. My narc ex kept treating me like the 21 year old virgin I was when I met him. I'm 31 now and says to me....I've never seen this side of you. Well hello? I've grown?

[@jacobsabrina74]

Best narcissist video EVER! Explains SOOOO much! Now all the...everything little thing they did/do makes sense. And why my ex narc was so instantly "love bombing" me after I cut and colored my hair and wore a dress instead if my usual jeans. It's f*ing sick! But now I know why. Thank you Sam!!

[@wadzanaim7342]

I’m so happy you found found it 😮😮p😅😅😊o I😊peace and 😊😊😊😊😊 PPP low ok 😢😅😢😅😮😅😢😢😅😢😮😮😊❤😊😂😂😊❤😊🎉😂🎉 45:01 😂😮😢🎉😊proud pp🎉🎉🎉 45:01 45:01 45:01 o😂 45:01 😊 45:01 😊😂😊😊😊🎉😂 45:01 🎉😊 45:01 😂 45:01 😊😂 45:01 😊😮😊😢 45:01 years 45:01 😂 45:01 years 😂p😊😢llwl🎉 45:01 love p🎉

[@viktoriyamaleva5118]

This lecture changed my life forever. Nothing was ever the same after this lecture.

[@djw8504]

Same here! My ex narc after 7yrs and my precious mother got sick and I started taking care of her and spending more time with her than with him, it was a very tough time in my life but I still tried to give him my time and attention as much as I cld. He started saying that I’d changed and wasn’t the happy silly person that he fell in love with. After my mom passed away I was crushed. He picked a fight over me for once not answering his call because I was working abt didn’t hear it. So he ghosted me, then discarded me all in the span of a week. It was so so hard to go through losing my best friend/mom, but I started learning from videos and books how to love myself, now I’m much stronger happier, and he is begging for another chance. I am 54 now, and not sure I I’ll ever give my heart away again. Blessings 🙏💪

[@vendetta7101]

I think it is scary when you eyes are opened and you realise that the person does not comprehend how they are torturing another human being. the invention of stories, the blatant disregard of human emotion. He would beat me and the sleep like a baby. empty, cold and human just by physicality.

[@MixxxedFruuts]

I am so so sorry you went through such treatment. I hope you are now safe and well.

[@vendetta7101]

@@MixxxedFruuts Thank you 🙏I am safe and well. Blessings to you 💞

[@MixxxedFruuts]

@@vendetta7101 Glad to hear it! Secondarily I hope your recovery is likewise going well and that you have around you people who know how fortunate they are to be there. I'm finally coming out of my own fog. I feel kind of like I was dead for years and was slowly resurrected over a couple week period heh. I suppose all of the personal growth one experiences overcoming this kind of adversity, that's the silver lining. =^_^=

[@sandoso2679]

Do they pay for what they do?

[@lastthingsministry]

​@@sandoso2679indeed they do. The lake of fire is eternal

[@oshinchris777]

Gosh I wish I knew all this before I got engaged to a narcissist. So grateful for whatever it was in me that forced me to get out.

[@elizabethy2912]

Sounds like you have good instincts, and The Holy Spirit warned you- and you Listened!!👍

[@TheMazinoz]

Me too. His next girlfriend not long after I got out killed herself because of his abuse.

[@trivenipatil5928]

Me too..I am divorcing him after just a 20 day marriage.he tried to make me submit to him.he said he was god.he hit me,lied to me in just the first twenty days

[@TheAsanijones]

This really helps me understand a narcissist better and how they don’t even have the innate ability to see what they do is absolutely wrong. God willing, this helps with my healing and moving on.

[@AugustAdvice]

Very insightful lecture. Narcissism is a trauma response, however that means there is something that is basically killed within them, their connection to self. When he was comparing himself to a future AI, as if the lack of emotion is an evolution, I have to disagree. I think not having connection to self or empathy or emotion isn't an evolution but rather a devolution. It requires great emotional strength to carry emotion deeply and sustain empathic connection especially after trauma. I'm not saying the reaction to trauma is the fault of the victim. But to say this is a futuristic trait, I think it is just the opposite because one does not evolve to cut off their emotion, but rather integrate it in a way that deepens and enriches their life, that is evolution. The emotional range of insects can be compared to the emotional range of an AI, does that make them smarter? Emotionally, no. Mirroring isnt synonymous with emotional depth. I was raised by a narc mom and had a narc ex boyfriend - I felt intense anxiety whenever I was in a room with him and now it makes complete sense, that was a huge epiphany for me.

[@Nightingale47]

I think he was talking about the evolution of AI, not the evolution and future of living humans.

[@redtigerlily8165]

@@Nightingale47 he has talked about this before and he does express belief that humans evolution is taking a narcissistic path. It actually makes sense.

[@darrenwolboldtalk2]

@@redtigerlily8165 Yep and also matches up with end time prophecy in he bible

[@cosmicmuffin322]

Perhaps AI will actually be a devolution compared to real human beings - intellectually superior, perhaps, but without conscience; intelligent sociopaths. I think so.

[@grogarda6591]

He also sais that the human has 100 % power over the narcissist, because he can not exist without you giving him reflections... so... its a choise for humans to make.. let the nacrisist develope existens ...or ... not

[@sueskeie4627]

I always thought he was lying about not remembering. My individuality was most challenged. I left that horror show. Now I understand what I was dealing with. Robot man.

[@mrtwister9002]

Narcissistic Amnesia. But extremely selective.

[@juney18]

My narc had the same extreme memory loss, even after entire evening discussion of our relationship, his deep love and wanting my commitment exclusively. Next day, denies any talk, 'what are u talking about, remind me, idk what you me'. I let him leave, blocked his number and all messages access . 6 months w his ups and downs, acting out, storming out and leaving for no reason, just to 'show me '. No more!! He didnt believe I would do it, but quit just like I'd warned.

[@misstidoy]

I'm 3 min in and my mind is blown 😲 their delusional mind is so destructive.

[@annweidner8924]

They're pure evil.

[@johncaccioppo1142]

They are exactly what our society expects from all of us, this is why we are slaves... because it's all around us, all of the time. It's like talking to a fish about water, seriously.

[@plnthrd]

I've been following Sam for over 20 years...he made me see that my partner had NPD. It helped me escape the prison.....Thanks Sam!

[@angellenamay]

Such a sad dynamic. He said I changed & it’s true, because of him I am more reserved, private & distrustful but mostly just with him. They extinguish peoples lights & wonder why their victims change after they are abusing them & draining them of happiness & self esteem. Empathy fatigue is real. Other people get the best version of me. I protect my empathy from abuse now.

[@rowannestripe2964]

Mine made me very strong, because I got no sympathy from him, ever, so I learned to get by 25:08 without him. In the end, I didn't need him, because he gave me nothing ! His methods backfired on me. It took many years of abuse though 😢

[@ChristopherMetzermacher]

actually aspd changed you so we won haha we made your identity change so that = your not the same we always win you wont even know your being abused till its over its a fact

[@emilyburford6462]

I have watched so many videos , read books and this is the first time the light bulb finally went off. Besides walking away, counseling and going 100 percent no contact this is the first time I've felt relief. I understand now. Thankyou.

[@lollUK]

Thank you for sharing. I was once married to a narcissist (same sex marriage). I had never experienced anything so traumatic in my life, pretty much nearly destroyed me. I'm now having therapy for PTS, while filing for a divorce. I thought I would never escape from this person, however, I have. A huge send out of love and light for those who have had to deal with these loonitics 💗

[@JoshSalt1]

I love the meta-ness of him talking about “missing pieces/memories” while the translator has been spliced out. Also, this is a wonderful look at this condition. Very insightful.

[@cathynykolaishyn8926]

I kind of knew my ex narc husband had a hard upbringing. This lecture really opened my eyes. As I put the prices together everything makes sense now. The empty distance, the “forgetting”, the wondering how on earth can a human do this to their spouse, the person they are supposed to love and cherish. Now it all makes sense. Thank you so much for this lecture. A real piece of mind for me.

[@hipnozaful]

Mr Vaknin, your lecture is the gem. After having listen to so many videos explaning how a narcissist behaves and how he gaslights, and how he destroys mentally and emotionally his / her victims - what I have experience personally, this is the very first time that I am taken to the core, to the (no)soul of a narcissist. This is brillant. You made me understand the first time the mecanism of this hell on wheels. I am feeling so much more prepared to conversations with a narc who nows EVEERYYYTHIG. Thank you.

[@hiraghafoor9151]

Wow. That makes sense cause I remember hanging out with him for the first couple times and watching something on tv. The whole time I could see him out of my peripheral vision, staring at me instead. It was pretty clear soon enough that he didn’t have the bravery or courage to build anything real with the real me. Instead he chose to create stories in his head while hiding in his dark and empty apartment by himself. He truely believed we were in an exclusive relationship after having met for the first time. He’d rather live a fantasy world created by him that was “safe” than try to grow his balls to live a real life. It’s kinda funny that everything he accused me of was him telling on himself. He constantly invalidated my reality later on and would say “ it’s just in your head” when he was the actual one living a reality created in his own head. I didn’t mean to manipulate him back but I can’t help but return the energy that’s given to me. I discarded him because it was evident how incapable of being a normal human man he was and how much he didn’t show up for me. It was college and I had a bunch of options so I continued casually dating which must’ve really fucked with him. Then later he had finally lost the weight to feel like his brain wasn’t the real problem and showed up in my life how a woman would want a man to show up. I finally got to spend time with him in real life and I started liking the fake persona he had conjured up just to make me fall in love and discard me as revenge. When he started showing less interest I started showing more and it could be seen as idealization. Idk how his sick mind perceived it though. Idk how narcissistic he was but he def felt tons of guilt at the end seeing me for how caring and loving I actually was towards him and everyone else. I know for sure he only actually became a part of my life to take revenge based on a perception he created of me in his head. I never had any ill intend towards anyone including him. It’s pretty simple. If you meet someone new and they don’t seem ready or willing to put any effort in getting to know you then you just move on to the one who does. But it’s really sad that he thought that I was some villain in his mind for wanting a healthy relationship with a healthy human. When I did give him a chance all he had to offer was manipulation, confusion, chaos, dick and projection of his abusive behavior onto me. I couldn’t take living with a child who had no direction or goals and have to carry him like a mother and also be undermined at every step. So I left him again.

[@Tantrayogahealing]

Omg… this is the most amazing research about narcissistic I have ever seen. It’s a jewel in the ocean. Thank you to the editor

[@SereneSoulSeeker]

I was broken by a narcissist. This information has been so helpful to my healing process. Thank you ❤

[@lisarand7249]

I realized he is an empty vessel actually no soul... I am gone.

[@gennyzentella4692]

Exactly, my same feelings, but fell for him at first, was trying too hard, and nothing really works because they don't know how to have an emotional relationship, just as Sam described, your dealing with a God like child; as long as your giving things seem ok, but don't ever rebel or criticize, get angry, or point out mistakes, etc, because he will dump you in a second!🙎‍♂️

[@cautionyt2040]

@@gennyzentella4692 negative , don't ever blasphem his name!

[@RHope7]

🤣😂😄😄😄 Very true and better than a narcissists joke, with fifty likes of course!.

[@morganophelia5963]

No everyone has a soul

[@RHope7]

@@morganophelia5963 Narcissism is the issue of a soul with a forcefull selfish mind. Often because of an advantaged dependence on dark force. Getting them to run to spirit salvation is a big deal. Spirit is easily faked with kind selfishness, therefore respect to understanding reflective reward has to get past their psychotic ME disease. ( to a Wisdom Existence )

[@crashburn22]

When I realized that my Ex being a Narc meant he never loved me, that he was never even really there, it was both crushing and freeing. I'm still pretty grossed out though even 7 months later. So scary.

[@kavarnijsenshik]

I always knew that my mother comes up with facts, believes in them and gets angry when you tell her that this is not true. Thank you for giving my guesses a name - confibulation. Finally I know that it doesn’t seem to me! Wonderful lecture!

[@nonoelnono8717]

As a psychology student with no doubt you are exceptional. If only we could find lectures from other professors as well that are able to describe different disorders in this much depth it would have been much easier for us “therapists” to understand such PD’s and other disorders much more effectively. The level of insight presented by you in regards to the narcissist PD is just amazing. I wish to get similar knowledge about other disorders in a similar manner. Thankyouvery much for the effort.

[@emmajames6189]

What was hard for me to accept is that one day I woke up and realised I had 3 children with a man I've known for years but didnt know at all. One day he is in complete rage and the next day was like nothing happened. To know that I had formed a family with a liar was the biggest crush to my heart. I thought that if we separated he wouldnt feel obligated and he could be single with all these women he continued to put above our family but he was actually very angry, that I didnt understand. He kce said that our relationship was great and I made him miserable in the same sentence. Now he has found another woman "who makes sure he isnt lonely". That statement alone put alot of understanding in how he perceives relationships.

[@anndra1160]

I replaced my narc with someone MUCH healthier both mentally and spiritually - MYSELF!!! 👍💖😉

[@ThomasConover]

Prof Sam Vaknin you truly are a genius. For many many years I understood my family were highly narcissistic but I never managed to understand the “logic” behind how narcissism functions. This video finally gave me all the answers I’ve been looking for. If only I had learned this 40 years ago it might have saved my life. Better late than never. Thank you for sharing this invaluable knowledge.

[@ChildofGod2890]

Accurate description of my narcistic mother. I wish I knew all this before my much loved Dad was traumatized to death.

[@sunshine-db2zm]

Exact feeling... my dad died broken heart...

[@euvgenias337]

Same here. It's unbearable to live with. She killed us both.

[@narciszcoach8583]

Thank you, Sam! It was a brilliant seminar with an earth-shattering information.

[@samvaknin]

Thank you for all the huge effort and resources you have put into organizing these lectures and the Cold Therapy seminars. Yours is the prime resource on narcissism in particular and psychology in general in Hungarian on KZbin. You are a groundbreaking educator.

[@narciszcoach8583]

@@samvaknin Thank you, Sam!

[@jackreher2302]

@@samvaknin amazing seminar Sam. I messaged you... hope you get it.

[@jeffkilar211]

9 dr f

[@carolnahigian9518]

Great Insight!!

[@zetikva]

The fact that minute 46:00 to 48:00 is the most replayed portion of the video tells you everything you need to know. It is quite uncanny as I'd already described my own experience with a narcissist as one that left me (half-)dead inside.

[@kirstendrews8619]

The best teacher ever! I learnt everything about personality disorders and am so thankful that I can rid of all this illusion now! Thank you soo much, Sam!

[@DavidHBarginear]

The most detailed explanation of narcissistic behavior to date! No less crazy but now I get it.. 😅

[@beans9019]

When he said “there’s nobody home” … I had goosebumps because this is true.

[@TheMazinoz]

Absolutely. No brain and no soul.

[@theresadaughterofthemosthi4963]

“Are you in love with a narcissist. what’s wrong with you. that’s a different lecture “ lol

[@temperance8966]

Pleeeeaaase

[@5d512]

I know, that was awesome.

[@queennumber1695]

Love it!

[@derekgriffith7248]

😀

[@zubieM]

Oh yes!

[@paulaismael6549]

Simply a fantástic explanation. As a daughrer of 2 narcissists who were able to “convert” my sister also in one of them, it has been quite difficult to understand them all. It is a religion, definitely.

[@Lovect18]

This is the BEST explanation of narcissism that I have EVER heard. It’s a complete explanation of the cerebral workings of the narcissist mind. EXCELLENT!!!. I can’t believe you are a narcissist. Thank you for this awareness and for educating us!🙌🏽👍🏽♥️

[@kaedatiger]

I've heard narcissists say that narcissists cannot be manipulated. But the truth is that they're fairly easy to manipulate and the secure people cannot be manipulated.

[@heymynamesmeg]

Thank you SO much for editing this and putting it together so seamlessly for the English version to be easily understood. I appreciate your efforts and hard work for us

[@Jezebel066]

I’ve learned so much about narcs the past year. Trying to understand my husband. I never read about this memory problem. But he will tell stories of things he says happened. And they never did. He seems so sane. Most charming man I’ve ever met. You would love him. Does he really believe his version of reality????? He’s divorcing me for things he said I did. That HE did!!

[@morpheusgrace1071]

I was asking myself the same thing. I had the "Honor" to meet the x husband of x narc; After the second discard, I just had to figure out what's going on. I was shocked. Apparently, She was telling me very disturbed version of reality, based on maybe 20% truth. She really put an effort to create this false image of "perfection". She twisted the course of events into imaginary story - trying to make me jealous by "proofing" me, how perfect her life is, And how lucky I am. I've been wondering regarding the same thing... does she really believe in this?! It was too psychotic, even for a covert narc. Plus, she was telling exactly the same stories - when she Hoovered after 6 years of silence. It was really really weird. With the Same hand gestures, the same enthusiasm, and was laughing at the same places. After 6 years!!!!! Like she's reading from a script. It's like she didn't changed at all. Didn't evolve as a person, didn't learn anything etc.... As to her memory, the selectiveness overwhelmed me. She actually remembered this specific tiny and accurate details, which even I totally forgot. From the other hand, she seemingly forgot about the horrible (and huge!) things she did. I believe, they'll say anything (even if fictional), that fits into their distorted version of reality. I wonder, for how long they gonna be able to escape and run from The truth? Especially while getting older. Luckily I'm not going to find out. Hopefully, the only thing waiting for them in The end of the road is KARMA. Amen.

[@Jezebel066]

March 2023. 2 yrs later. I get it now. They know exactly what they’re doing. They just DONT CARE!! My life was a mess trying to understand & love a man who didn’t give a shit about me. Life is so good now. You cannot make it work.

[@theritz1265]

This is the BEST video I have ever seen on NPD. It’s so shocking and yet had me laughing out loud because it’s exactly my husband. Like 100%. But I’ve been working at this for awhile so I see it for what it is. I’ve already grieved my loss. Seeing this video at this point in my life has been nothing short of amazing.

[@BoxingFishingGuy]

When he revealed himself to be a narcissist, that was a shock. I thought that must be a painful realization but then I realized he’s a narcissist…believes love and human empathy is weakness

[@yesyoga]

Mr. Vaknin, your contributions to understanding this complex subject is more precious than gold and diamonds… Shocking stuff.

[@natural.7]

Wow!! The best description I have ever watched and heard on this subject! I think absolutely everyone interested in this subject should watch this!

[@rebeccastahle4521]

Thank you for this. I knew narscism was born from abuse. My family appears to have deep roots in narcissism. I see them as victims who've never healed. I see the emotions & empathy they have. However I also see the coldness & uncaring side too. I think it's important to know the narsasists has feelings & the condition is a form of self survival. You confirm these thoughts of mine.

[@rebeccastahle4521]

@ I agree

@Madeleine Astor I'm not making that excuse though. It's just an adage. Chill

[@Future_Phoenix]

But didn't he say they imitate the feelings? These are my parents, I'm terrified. I'm going to see my mom soon and freaking out

[@rebeccastahle4521]

@LandAhoy Yes they do imitate feelings. They'll pretend to be in love or to have deep feelings but really the only feelings they truly have are towards themselves & how they are affected. I imagine it also degrees on the type of narcissistic traits they have.

[@fernandapnhr]

if you’re in a situation with a narcissist and is feeling very sensitive rn it might be best to watch it another time. Really. Not everyone is prepared to listen those ABSOLUTE TRUTH things

[@TheMazinoz]

I needed to take a few breaks. So much info and so spot on. Dragged up past relationship and now current issues with a neighbour. A new Body Corp manager who actually did their job, knew BC law and was even half way administratively competent would also help.

[@ourcorrectopinions6824]

I'm so glad to see almost a million views on this lecture. It was the best video I'd seen on narcissism and was criminally underviewed when I first saw it. The algorithm must've worked it's magic for the better. Everyone needs to watch this.

[@vickyfarwaha145]

I wish i could have heard those words 4 years back.... I could have saved my health. But it's better late than never. I am watching this video in the same time frame in which i used to reason to my narcissist partner about what she did to me. This is a good time spent. Hats off to the speaker ! Stay blessed big bro !

[@rosselinessalas3357]

This is a new whole level of narcissist First time to hear this point of view You sir have a new follower I have been on therapy for a year Nothing works This video just broke my hook to that person So grateful to find you

[@ЕкатеринаЛатыпова-ъ1у]

Bravo Maestro! The deepest & most accurate description of a Narcissist. Prof. Vaknin is the best ever👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@TinaLouise73]

I always knew my BPD was a result of narc abuse! This confirms it!

[@marianatequiero28]

Lol ya that’s why 😂

[@ClusteredReflux]

When he started talking about the snap shot and their response to any development in yourself- "you've changed" my mouth dropped for a good couple seconds.. that's exactly what my mom would say.

[@ClusteredReflux]

@Madeleine Astor That was worded absolutely perfectly, I couldn't agree more. It's hitting me now that's even more apparent since when I was a child, I used to say I'd stay with her forever and take care of her, and now I've cut her off completely. When say she would "you've changed" her face always would contort in such a way where she looks disgusted, like I've given her the ultimate insult, which makes sense now. I've struck her Achilles tendon.

[@tinamorales7976]

Spent over 30 years with a narcissist and I’ve been a fool and ready to make a move and escape/leave ‼️ thank you for the advice