The Signs of the Narcissist

[@TotalImplosion]

My husband and I divorced for religious reasons. He thought he was God and I didn't

[@Norwheon]

Truly beautiful words.

[@bewusstsein3527]

He is right and wrong.

[@emebetgebregiorgis2845]

🤣🤣🤣🤣I love your outlook.

[@Tarotcooks]

🤣🤣🤣

[@mundialmentebiciado8780]

hahahahaahah epic comment

[@528theone]

so true, the narcissist cannot explain what he says, instead, gets offended that the person asks for an explaination

[@jhshett]

Just nj mcc sgfscbb. Was

[@thursdayafternoon7015]

Well put.

[@diannestein30]

First, I have to tell you, Sam Vaknin, you have opened my eyes to my Narcissist husband of 24 years of marriage. I enjoy your videos very much. Thank you. I started watching your videos approx 6 months ago. They opened my eyes. My husband has many narcissist traits and behaviors. And when I think back to our first date, if I would've known what I know now, I would've seen the red flags. All he talked about was himself, didn't really care about me, my young son or my interests. And through the many years, it's always been about himself, such as he would ALWAYS say, I care more about the kids than him!! This statement, would blow my mind; the recognition he always wanted- from me, from freinds; And if he did not get the recognition he would not like people. How everything was my fault, if he had a friend, that friend can only be HIS friend, no one else. How he always stood in the background he always feels people should go to HIM. An eye opener for me also, was 2 years ago, when my father was on his deathbed, the lack of empathy was incredible, totally unsupportive to me. Then my mother, whom was diagnosed with progressive dementia, and I dedicated myself to her, he never helped me, never came with me to visit and help her, again, severe lack of empathy. Instead he always went to the bar where his "friends" are. And smearing my name, saying I don't take care of him, and belittling me. And recently, his behavior has been terrible, if I was doing office work or cooking, he would want me to do something for him; like his wants were more important, and if I said no, the rage he would go into was unbelievable. Well, last Sunday, he got into such a rage towards me, because I refused to stop what I was doing, I had to call the police. And I am done, totally, he is not living here and have a restraining order. Sometimes I feel scared, I have so much healing to do. I just want to tell you thank you. He always made me feel uneasy, he was taking my identity away along with my confidence and self esteem. It's over and now I have to rebuild my life.

[@emilkadd]

Dianne Stein Good luck Dianne. You’ll be fine... will take some time, but you’ll rebuild yourself. Just keep working on yourself.

[@LinniFight]

Reminds me about my ex. My mother was dying, and I cried silently (only for 30 fucking seconds) he shamed me for crying and said things like "what if I acted like that everytime it's something to do with my mom". His mom has always been healthy, has no issues, never been close to death. He tried to destroy my character and natural/human nature.

[@Kwirax]

Much respect for the steps you've taken and for sharing them, Dianne. The suffering and stress is huge when first parting from a narcissist, but in my experience you can learn to cope with it better and better. I hope you are doing better now.

[@ncalman1]

The Flying Monkeys have been grounded The bank is closed The hotel has gone out of business The sympathetic ear has gone deaf The getaway location is closed The tour guide has retired The dutiful son is Gone The dutiful brother is Gone The dutiful friend is Gone The dutiful uncle is Gone The guilty son is Gone The guilty brother is Gone The guilty friend is Gone The guilty uncle is Gone The abused son is Gone The abused brother is Gone The abused friend is Gone The abused uncle is Gone My sister's audience has left the building The attached has unattached The cabbie has quit The whipping boy has gotten away from his abusers The financial expert has moved to Florida The kindhearted easy prey for narcissist is safe from them The narcissism supply source has been shut-off:) The guard is up The guilt is gone The eyes are wide open (thank you, Sam!) The spirit is lifted Tom McCulla is Alive and Happy:)

[@KittysAreCute]

That's beautiful Tom! And I'm glad you're alive and happy 😊

[@user-rt2bk9ii9x]

The boundaries are in place. The unknowing is gone. The believer in masks is gone. The imperfect is welcome

[@Morigan20003]

Thats so beautifully put together ❤thanks tom

[@christinehaigh9807]

that's true about faking interest to fool most people. I personally think it's wrong to pretend to like someone when they know they don't!

[@JonPerson]

"Pronoun density" is so true. It's a hallmark of narcissism I've seen in the first hour of meeting somebody new. Also: Do they ask you any questions about yourself? Narcissists have a story to tell but spend no time asking questions about you, giving feedback after you talk, or even acknowledging that you said anything at all. If you can tune yourself to see these things, you can reject narcissists almost instantly and find somebody more worth your time.

[@mundialmentebiciado8780]

SO true, its a pity to learn it too late. Its still worth it

[@MimiZ914]

My husband found the center of the Universe and is convinced it revolves around him.

[@mindfullness-222]

Wow, my ex has all these traits. She promotes her self image on Facebook and carefully edits every picture before posting them. She refers to herself as intelligent, beautiful and that I should grateful to have her. She talks about herself in 3rd person view mentioning her own name in some of her text messages. This really making sense now. This explains the everyday rollercoaster experience I had with her no matter how hard I try to make myself better to satisfy her. Thank you for helping Sam.

[@MimiZ914]

In the last 20 years it is my observation that NPD behavior is epidemic . With the onset of technology, (social media, chat rooms, reality TV, etc.) the way people react/behave and interact with each other - looks like (NPD) & on the rise. I'm convinced that if people don't act like a NPD then they are sniveling nobodies & get no respect/ can't claw their way up the social strata. It's a pathetic shame and everyone seems clueless to this pathological behavior. Loved ones suffer the most.

[@emilkadd]

100% agree. Very sad state of humanity.. and seem it only will get worse

[@barbaramarshall5271]

I'm afraid I have to agree too

[@tonycoombs4056]

8 yrs later seems that you were right

[@mundialmentebiciado8780]

Its quite impressive you discovered that 9 years ago, somehow you predicted it. Amazing.

[@funkchurches]

It seems that a narcissist will do anything and everything in order to maintain their good social standing. My view is that rule-followers are narcissistic. They don’t judge based on objective truth and virtue, but only on what will keep them safe and hidden. Their life revolves around making themselves happy and they see other people as tool for their happiness. This meaning that their empathy is given on the understanding that it makes THEM feel good to do the typically good thing to others.

[@matthewolson8651]

After identifying my family members I found them to actually mimic my humility and other emotions .

[@crlyng102]

Omg! you hit the nail on the head, Mr. Pirate! Didnt get all this other stuff-but you nailed it. They are so charming & manipulative-the worst they treat people, the more people love them....

[@TheNinnyfee]

My experience is that the narcissists I met have a habit of searching for reassurance with their eyes and won't stop until they have found it, especially in groups. Or, if they don't find it, will withdraw, pout or attract attention otherwise. If you go to the movies with them and they get bored, they'll start to get nervous or talk to you, no matter if you like the movie. They interrupt a game they are not winning at or don't understand.

[@JohnWilliams-fi7rh]

this describes me a lot I'm scared.

[@PM_A]

My friend is dating a narcissist and the friend knows this too from the narcissist traits strongly expressed but continues the relationship. I can see his manipulating and controlling ways even though the friend says is immune to this I see a change in my friend's behaviour when around the person. When the narcissist is around the person demands my friend's attention and succumbs to the narcissist's charm and flattery even after a couple of years and it's impossible to obtain any contact due to jealously and the narcissist's controlling ways. I can see behind the mask and feel the narcissist tries to gaslight people around when together by being over affectionate making others feel uncomfortable and alienating them or in general being over animated and expressive to win people over or gaslight people by making silly comments which doesn't work but just view it as creepy. Everyone that has met the narcissist doesn't like the person and I have tried to explain my concerns but this just falls on deaf ears. I can always tell when my friend has been with the person as the general behaviour is more negative and self doubting whereas if has been out the picture even just a few days the friend's behaviour is more positive and upbeat. It's a difficult situation to witness and after experiencing narcissism first hand my eyes are wide open now and know what damage they can do. Do you have any words of advise on the way forward or coping strategies? Luckily the friendship is strong so the narcissist did try but failed to come between that. My friend does stand up more now but still the narcissist has more control I believe than my friend realises and still manipulated or would have walked by now by realising the narcissist behaviour is not right towards my friend, family and friends.

[@528theone]

100 percent seriousness is a good clue, not much humor... it's unseriousness irritates him!

[@bluestmarble]

Another great one, Sam. Encountered a new work-Narc this week - she is petulant, demanding, ungrateful, and "entitled", none of which seems to have a basis in any real-life accomplishments. Maybe I'll suggest she make a guest appearance on one of your videos? She's Narcissistic enough to think it's a compliment.... :)

[@francesbernard1057]

Thank you Sam for educating me on how to recognize and avoid predators. Until now, I didn't know how to detect such deception. I feel less anxious now that I have a better strategy to avoid such people.than I did in the past.

[@sharonrlowther]

I'v said it before and I will say it again, Sam you are a God send. You continue to provide therapy to me. You help me to understand and therefor, release the ties that have so incredibly bound me to the ex-N in my life. I was lost for years looking for answers to understand the madness. I watch all of your videos and they have helped me immeasurably. I hope you will continue making your knowledge and videos available. Thanks

[@samvaknin]

Read about Munchausen Syndrome.

[@taraqueen15]

what about the narcissist using illnesses to get attention and manipulate.The Narcissist I was involved with gained lots of attention from his "illnesses".He was charming intelligent and had lots of friends who helped him but all were unaware of just how much he used them all.He gained lots of financial support from good friends.One thing he would never acknowledge is that anyone was his superior intellectually. Always liked a weak person to "help" to appear caring.

[@heatherann4390]

How exhaughsting trying to get along with these people omg

[@levimahaffey2608]

You cannot get along with someone who is envious of you. They hate you to your core but pretend to care while hoping an praying you fall on your face. An they seriously hate you if you are their partner. You are only in their life so they can make you suffer the pain they feel constantly. They will blame you for all their failure's an bad decisions you are their emotional punching bag. They have to have a scapegoat to push all their failure's an project all their bullcrap on.

[@barbaramarshall5271]

I wish I had this information years ago, thank you for your help Sam

[@glenrussell9975]

You just described my late Mom, my estranged remaining sister and my estranged daughter. I had to walk away from my remaining sister last month because of the excessive abuse after travelling 14 hours at her invite to see her and trying to help her. I pity her more than anything but I got my answers to issues that had gone on for years and involved the influence on my now estranged grown daughter. So sad.

[@xyzbb4692]

No one ever told you that narcissism is genetically conditions?? So if you are thinking (in such a lovely way) of your family.... Maybe you should think about yourself too.

[@warsilver99]

Actually, society has always been this way... we are only more than ever becoming more aware of psychologically unhealthy people which is giving you the perception of a dying breed of psychologically healthy people. I myself am a narcissist; but without someone being aware of NPD and connecting the dots between my personality and my narcissism, no one can tell that I'm a narcissist or "psychologically unhealthy", even if some may think I'm an egocentric prick.

[@missmaddie241]

sounds like demonic possession

[@BlakeGeometrio]

Or, ya know, mental illness...

[@IDDIAMADU]

where were you 24 years ago when i need help,how find the crazy people. thanks for the help

[@iwatcher69]

Wow Mr. Vaknin, You just pretty much described my mom....thanks for the info.

[@samvaknin]

Narcissistic and psychopathic parents and their children - click on the links: groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4727

[@christyraeemfinger5740]

thank you Sam Vaknin I love all of your videos

[@XanthiKokkinos]

This channel has helped in my healing so much.

[@faceintree]

Strange spiritual experiences with these creatures.

[@faceintree]

Sounds like you have some portals opening because of the low vibrations. I've gone thru that. The higher vibration of prayer will put an end to that. Take authority over them and command them to leave. I pray in Jesus' name and it works every time. It burns them. Don't stop and you will win. Sometimes there is a battle. I ask for warrior Angels to come and help. Be persistent, don't give up. You can do it. According to your faith, so be it unto you. You are powerful. Say out loud: "No weapon formed against me will prosper." (scripture). Mean it. Command them to leave. You will come out much stronger and the negative entities will be gone.

[@freespirit3818]

My ex narc would butt in when people were talking. It was almost as if he couldn't read social ques. He would curse alot sometimes and others he'd be really well over mannered. He always had to change the conversation back to him. Complete lack of empathy for anyone. He was obsessed with money he spent it like water. Flash car and clothes. Always bragged about his self and his achievements. Slagged off his friends one moment and then the next sang their praises. Lies apon lies. Test book. I was in ld and just a short time with him. I think I had a luck escape really.

[@ST1VO]

Don't confuse a narcissist with someone who has some narcissistic tendancies, most of us do..

[@badbeachindustry1615]

Its normal and healthy to have them. It helps you improve yourself and preserve yourself. Most real narcissists don't care for it and do stuff for their image and hyperfixate on it.

[@samvaknin]

No. But fMRI and "lie detector" techniques can be used to INDICATE psychopathy (Antisocial Personality Disorder).

[@fancysugar4337]

You wont know what hit you

[@botchalism]

I don't think a narcissist would buy people drinks though, they're too selfish to waste their own resources on random people like that.

[@nabilaoukhiat7247]

No they do

[@shawnl6018]

Thanks for your video very knowledgeable

[@delbimore431]

Thank you so much Sam for these videos. You kind of save my life, really. I have been with a narcissist for a year, without ever understabdibg him, giving more love and thinking if i love him more, he will show his true emotions, open up, stopflirtingall the time, etc. I understand now the "empty shell" and the complexity of his personnality. I have a question : why is it that people feel not totally comfortable when he is around even though he is objectively funny or nice? exactly what you say in the end of this video (ill at ease in his presence for no apparent reason, he fails to secure the sympathy of others). Maybe people subconsciously feel he wants attention, wants just to provoke aaction, to see he exists, and to eassure himself. Others are just mirors for him.

[@delbimore431]

Sorry, I meant " to provoke a reaction, so that people notice him, and so he is just reassured.

[@ashleycovert1640]

Thank you for your videos Sam!!

[@krisscanlon4051]

You are on their trip...take you on a ride. All of em with a plan scenario etc when the quest is over so are you...the end.

[@crimwitch]

Oh wow you nailed my ex, who somehow is still in my life. I will be close attention to your other clips. Thanks!

[@cvsshred7]

Wel i am a narcist, and i am quite aware of these facts. However i do not aprove my own way of living. I just wished there where ways to cure this. Especialy in social matter (so i can finaly be happy). I would love to see someone make a video about that

[@samvaknin]

Healing and Curing Narcissism vaksam.tripod.com/faq63.html vaksam.tripod.com/faq77.html vaksam.tripod.com/faq70.html vaksam.tripod.com/faq12.html vaksam.tripod.com/10.html vaksam.tripod.com/case03.html vaksam.tripod.com/faq31.html vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily8.html vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders37.html vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders45.html Only a qualified mental health diagnostician can determine whether someone suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and this, following lengthy tests and personal interviews. These may be of help - click on the links: vaksam.tripod.com/1.html vaksam.tripod.com/npdglance.html vaksam.tripod.com/faq82.html vaksam.tripod.com/faqpd.html Links to Therapist Directories, Psychological Tests, NPD Resources, Support Groups for narcissists and their victims, and Tutorials: health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/5458 Support groups for victims of narcissists and psychopaths (and one or two groups for narcissists) dmoz.org/Health/Mental_Health/Disorders/Personality/Narcissistic/Support_Groups/

[@nategrey86]

Carlon van spijker Same. Feeling like this sucks.

[@PenjiProductions]

Wish I had found you eight years ago....Thats how long I was with the Machine! When people in my family died he was out searching for new narcisstic supply to baby sit his needy ass..When his cat died oh how he behaved all torn up..Thats because a narcissist will identy with a cat...Both are self serving

[@LinniFight]

Word. Hahah, love the cat comparison. So true lol.

[@lizannedsouza1838]

This is so bang on

[@DrSpooglemon]

You mean you're not the only one who believes it. Doesn't make it true though. There was no golden age. People just think things were better in the past. There is always hope for the future and we can all influence each other. The less time spent complaining and the more time spent working on problems the better...

[@MrOnomatopoiea]

I disagree with Sam about narcissists being 'impossible to capture'. They inevitably give themselves away since they too are only human (though they would have the whole world believe otherwise) and cannot help it. After all their vanity will demand it....

[@Intelcoll]

thank you for those helpful videos: is it true that NPD like to study people, need to know exactly what people like and dislike, in order to gain control? ie when they find a systematic way to please someone, they will keep doing so, not to really communicate or improve closeness but to gain control?

[@samvaknin]

+Intelcoll Read the section about Cold Empathy here: www.narcissistic-abuse.com/personalitydisorders68.html

[@botchalism]

That would be a question to ask a psychologist. Buying all those people drinks just seems to big of an act of reconciliation coming from a true narcissistic person, which is good, narcissism is a detrimental social illness to both the individual and everyone around him.

[@francesbernard1057]

If what you are saying in your videos are correct, and I believe it is, then Narcissists are addicts and the people who have no choice but to continue dealing with them for a time would benefit from a support group similar to Al-Anon, which is a twelve step support group for family and friends of alcoholics. Then narcissism whould not be as contagious.

[@Dance_Creations]

I have wondered whether my dad has narcissistic personality disorder because he seems oblivious to other people's emotions but he is not charming or charismatic in the way I've heard narcissists described so I'm not sure...

[@fumbles1294]

Every narcissist I know isn't charming

[@gerardmartin594]

@@fumbles1294 overt narcs are charming coverts aren't

[@charlottebruce979]

My ex Narc was very charming and charismatic but at home he was dull and insipid, he used all his energy outside the home to show off, flirt and charm everyone. Pity at home with me he had little energy and what energy he had he used on dating sites and messaging women.

[@Windiesfolife]

Your use of the english language is sublime! Is that an example of narcissistic supply?

[@bonniedunn6643]

+

[@NordikFilm]

Why are many narcissists so succesfull careerwise ?

[@SuperSAINTPAUL]

Money is the root to all evil

[@nabilaoukhiat7247]

They want to show

[@manofpeace927]

Very great information about narcissists.

[@ammitlakwani4638]

Handwriting analysis has the capability to identify a narcissist.....certain alphabet formations overall handwriting and ppi and signature style can reveal it all

[@RenneMeejahUnfiltered]

Brilliant! Could not have been better said.

[@TotalImplosion]

The world must be saved and I am on the job to complete this by next month.

[@MimiZ914]

I am staunch supporter of proper nutrition and while nutrition certainly plays a part in developing a healthy brain, I do believe we are dealt a set of "psychological cards" at birth. ANd if nutrition could empty the prisons of all their occupants, well wouldn't that be an easy fix? Souls come back to this world to learn lessons so all I can say is education is power/ watch your back/ LISTEN TO YOUR GUT & if something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

[@francieodendahl9351]

What if it feels right ?

[@sheseekstruth777]

I have a suggestion on a new video; How to see through a narcissist's veneer

[@MsTommyknocker]

I am a narcissist too, but I try not to let affect other people

[@anthonyinteresting4736]

MrTommyknocker I see what you did there. We don't care if anything effects others so long as it doesn't effect us. Be honest.

[@hilaryjoseph9706]

MrTommyknocker this is not a statement a narcissist would make...you are not a narcissist

[@ammitlakwani4638]

😂😂😂😂😂 the one that i was associated with hadnt even finished the fourt grade of schooling and yet managed to tell people that passed out of university.....hahaha Makes me laugh now

[@michaeljackson7361]

Thank you, Sir.

[@rocaho001]

yes

[@gingerztube]

Video Suggestion: What to say & not to say to a narcissist when forced to deal with them (at work for example).

[@DrSpooglemon]

Absolute nonsense. People like this have always been around. Read the old testament. Moses was clearly narcissistic. He talk to God. He was delivered the rules by which everyone should live. The same could be said of Muhammed. And what of Hitler...

[@laurengg09]

This guy I've backed away from because I realised I wasnt interested in him, and now he keeps doing weird stuff to get my attention. Like randomly deleting himself of group chats posting pics on his what's app when he didnt before. Prior to this he made some sly remark about his brother being single and being stroppy for seemingly no reason.I honestly feel like hes doing everything and Anything to get me to ask me how he is / give him constant attention as I was before. It doesnt sound much but this guy is starting to scare me because it's all underhand so I'm thinking am I reading into stuff, however I cannot for the life of me work out if its narcassism or if I'm being over the top

[@MimiZ914]

All people in the entertainment business are potential narcs

[@janes5077]

Hi Sam, Whats the best advice you could give to a narcissist? I suffered lots of abuse from my father when I was a child. He actually tried to kill me when I was 5 years old and it turned my soul dark. Tried therapy, but I realized that for $100+ per hour anyone will tell you how great you are and manipulate you. Just need to cope with my narcissism the best I can.

[@incomplete-304]

You said that the narcissist is "typicly ignorant in all fields". Does that mean narcissists tend to be of low intelligance?

[@samvaknin]

I never said that. Here is what I did say: groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/topics/4945

[@incomplete-304]

Sam Vaknin Thank you for the clarification. You did say it at around 7:25

[@lisaoldwithsomanywhys5487]

Can a narcissist NOT want to be the center of attention? Can they cry & show emotion?

[@destroyazoid2060]

Lisa Feisthome if they shed tears it's intentional. They play the victim card well and you must do your best not to give in.

[@charlottebruce979]

If they are truly showing emotion and crying proper tears of true sadness they are not a narc.

[@Grainnie3]

If a person is a self-aware narcissist, are they capable of choosing to be otherwise?

[@michaelwhite653]

Huh, was just called a narcissist today. Actually that might be ok as every one will know they can most likely find me in front of the mirror admiring myself. I think I will ask the building owner to install a bigger mirror in men's restroom. :-) Wow, never noticed how incredibly funny I am too.

[@rocaho001]

no

[@Lyn.isGrey]

If he knows he has nowhere to go when confronted by his partner, will he talk about himself in third person? Like something he is having to admit to but it's so hard to do it that he does this third person speak?

[@samvaknin]

The Narcissist as VAMPIRE or MACHINE samvak.tripod.com/journal4.html groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4944

[@Lyn.isGrey]

Sam Vaknin Thanks for all of this information. Mine is the cerebral narcissist. For the last few months I struggled to establish boundaries and finally succeeded 3 and 4 days ago. This depressed him so much, and made him so nervous, that he couldn't let it go. It inflicted pain. Disarming him from exhausting and draining me suddenly made him distressed. I broke it off yesterday but will continue learning.

[@dasoren1787]

My ex glorify his knowledge bout those MBTI personality. He will entitled himself as INTJ, woww.. so rare personality in earth, so logic, always right, intelegent person, etc. But meh, when the mask fell off, huhhhh so meehh.

[@BGivka]

Hi Sam, do you have a face book page where I can leave you a message?

[@samvaknin]

facebook.com/samvaknin or facebook.com/pages/Malignant-Self-Love-Narcissism-Revisited/50634038043

[@FeelGoodWithin]

Thankx so much 😍 😎

[@umarborgas8486]

I probably am a narcissist, i mean im a sikkunt, if i wasn't a narcissist i have some pritty hard nights getting to sleep

[@rocaho001]

so?

[@rocaho001]

It's been a month. I don't see any difference.

[@castlerockermom]

This describes my entire fucking family. Me on the other hand am the empath, despised and ashamed of. Self doubting, scarred, humiliated piece of shit.

[@gingerztube]

Oops and thank you! I already watched this and forgot it in my efforts to educate myself about my narc. boss. I have another stupid meeting with her soon & based on her email it's going to be more of her reminding me what a privilege it is for me to work for her & listening to her brag about her summer plans. I recently discovered that my education is in the field of exactly what I am teaching where hers is in a completely different one, but she is grand-father claused in to her tenure-ship:(

[@MimiZ914]

I have a suggestion on a new video; how NOT to become a narcissist.

[@TotalImplosion]

So it is a joke.

[@TotalImplosion]

Try real hard to understand that I was making a joke, you know, funny ha ha.

[@TheMaryB]

👍