Why You Can't STOP Watching Narcissism Videos

[@vickisanta6210]

I keep watching because I’m devastated about losing 14 years of my life and wanna make sure this don’t ever happen to me again

[@katerosewriter]

14 good years for me and 10 horrific.

[@ChristinaD119]

Sam here 10 years.. I knew I was in it but couldn't leave.. These videos really bring things to light🙏

[@ryantaylor4015]

39 years and i still live with them as i rebuild my life and plan my escape

[@SomNathAhuja-mo5qf]

34 years ,I also keep on watching narcissism videos to validate myself .But the pain of losing so many years in abuse has broken me to the core.

[@jliggerdale1222]

18 years from day 1... and 8 years groping and healing.

[@Dolled_up_monk]

We want to validate our trauma!! No one else around us will

[@AgentClaytonWebb]

💯 percent correct… we need validation and to know we aren’t the victimizers!

[@emmacarnovale123]

Yep!!!!

[@amygeist5260]

Facts!!

[@Auntie_Premed]

So true. He acts like the algorithm doesn’t exist and send these videos…also we live in a society where there is no education on narcissism so you have to contrast and compare opinions to know what it is…it’s not like physics.

[@Patton398]

Agree

[@kjbrocky]

Because we just can't wrap our heads around the madness!

[@Librarian322]

This is exactly what I have been saying. Wrapping my brain 🧠 around this disorder has boggled my brain.

[@David-cj4oc]

That’s right it’s madness! These people lack the fundamental knowledge to be able to function as a human being.

[@kristinB.]

Exactly I’m just in such disbelief about this

[@tamsinthai]

@@kristinB. Watch Peter Salerno. I too haven't been able to wrap my head around a friend's narcissism for 30 years. Woosh! One video. It's hereditary. So we can stop trying to figure them out now.

[@swampsprite9]

A lot of people use the word narcissist when they actually just mean "abuser." But while all narcissists are abusive, not all abusers are narcissists.

[@JulieAnne]

I don't regret watching all the videos I have watched. It helps motivate me to move forward. Reminds me of what I want to leave behind. And the knowledge helps. It does provide understanding and a way to explain it to people I may help in the future.

[@fireflyflyhigh]

I stopped already, just one more time for this video..😂

[@theeJZ]

Same lol

[@emoryboldin6792]

Lol that part I never heard this topic.

[@MuMuzz22]

Highly relatable 😅

[@heatherwagar5868]

😂😂😂❤

[@diamondblayze]

Me too. I unsubscribed to the channels I was watching. Now they pop up in my feed like this video did and here I am watching again to learn why I was watching them all the time in the first place. Now I have to teach the algorithm To stop putting them in my feed 😩😩😂🤷🏾‍♀️

[@dpegy]

Watching excessive narcissism videos is a coping strategy to avoid the difficult emotions, especially grief, around narcissistic relationships.

[@hlengiwemathe7376]

Very True

[@GoogleUser-pc6tu]

Yep! The videos keep me away from the narc it’s confirmation I’m glad I left

[@anneofhearts]

@@dpegy trying to understand the reason they behave that way so we don't suffer the same fault

[@anneofhearts]

@@Daniel-nh3qr it was innocent, right? until now I still am scared of my own ability to love too much

[@wolf.9440]

True

[@jayTee-zp1jn]

I think it’s a kind of disbelief which also becomes a fascination. Firstly, you can’t believe it when you have encountered it - you never thought that you would experience such a person - such a duplicitous soul. It’s also crazy when you see the repeat negative behaviour - around and around and around. Then you try to work out why they are like that as the main narcissist you encounter will be quite unlike anything you have experienced before. Thank goodness for the wisdom and insight you provide here, Sam. Makes sense of what is almost impossible to grasp.

[@EightBallAnswers1]

Agree!

[@samia6888]

Watching Narcissist videos daily is what kept me ruminating and stuck on my situation for two years after getting out. I would say to watch for 6 months and stop, shift your focus on the things you love to do and rebuild yourself. By 6 months you will become an expert in NPD and things will just be repeated information, I know it feels comforting but trust me it will just keep you stuck for longer than you want it to be.

[@niathomas184]

Makes sense

[@samia6888]

@@niathomas184 I thought the same as everyone else, I thought if I learned more about it then I will heal but like every time I watched a video, I was thinking of him and when I wasn’t watching videos, I was ruminating about him. It got to the point where the person in the video would say “the answer may shock you” and it didn’t because I already knew because I watched hundreds of versions of it lol

[@crucifire9224]

I’m at six months now and it’s losing its attraction for sure 👍

[@samia6888]

@@crucifire9224 you feel like you are getting over the narc?

[@samia6888]

@@magicmarcell oh yes that is definitely a good idea for sure, you are actually doing it the best way.

[@arizpejuan]

Naaa is because we love to hear your voice !

[@samvaknin]

So do I.

[@peacebewithyou4713]

I want to see also what your hair looks like. It is soooooo much better than when you started your videos! And to hear your laugh that is always funnier than whatever you are laughing about.

[@sachananay6873]

@@samvaknin😂

[@211Sevi]

@@peacebewithyou4713 I so much agree about the laughter. It's the kind of laughter that speaks to the source of my laughing mechanism. 😃😃😃

[@kryll72]

​@@samvaknin 😅Imádom a humorát

[@cazkingz8484]

Watching videos about narcissism and borderline is therapy😂😂

[@woodym2]

You think it's funny?

[@woodym2]

He said self medication, please quit lying about what the doctor said you lying liar

[@woodym2]

You are a lying liar misrepresenting what the doctor said, I demand you apologize immediately

[@incelgangofone4894]

@@woodym2 boooo

[@mariapodesta3090]

I’m broke, I can’t afford therapy but these videos have helped me make sense of what happened to me so I can move on. 😅

[@veronikadecker4626]

Without those Videos I would have not survived! Thank you Prof. Sam Valkin!

[@samvaknin]

Vaknin.

[@felipeecheverry8155]

​@@samvakninpff

[@smarwadi]

Oops😅

[@JW-po9mb]

I believe that this ravaging beast called narcissism has left such a damaging mark in our mind that we are desperately trying to understand what it is that was happening to us, because, like you said, we were feeling like we were crazy. We keep watching because narcissism has many layers and one layer is not enough to explain what was happening to us. Each video (not all) gives us a feeling of relief, realizing what is/was being done and that we don't have to fight or feel terrible about ourselves when it happens again. We get a little relief and a little piece of our lives back with each video. Then, when it happens again, we come back to remind ourselves that it's not us and we gain a little bit more control over our experience and our feelings. Not sure if others feel the same.

[@felixdelarosa4691]

I feel the same as well.

[@fezziwig99]

Because it'sthe devils hiding in them. Devils always create chaos out of nowhere and nothing. That'swhy we didn't understand. But thank God for Jesus who explained it to us so well! "We wrestle not with flesh and blood, but with spiritual wickedness in the realm around us."

[@user-nx1wz9wc3y]

To me it has been a thousand - piece puzzle. With every viewing another odd-shaped piece finds its place. For those of us not as erudite as Dr. Vaknin, who has it all in his head, the repetition is valuable!

[@Sadbuttrue-ThatSwedishGirl]

Exactly! I want to understand what happened and make damn sure I won't end up in the same situation again

[@Sadbuttrue-ThatSwedishGirl]

Knowledge is power

[@pauljordan3272]

I've been on the receiving end of narcissistic/toxic abuse twice now unfortunately, back in 2019 after a year in a shit show with an overt narcissist that took me 2 years to fully recover from, and then 2021 with a covert/vulnerable narcissist (The worst type of narcissist in my opinion)... and guess what? I'm back rinsing the videos, I'm 7 months out of that relationshiT and the videos sometimes help although watching too many of them isn't great at times... I think people ( me included ) tend to watch them for validation because they are the only answers we're gonna get. If it helps people then great, but there is a danger of getting obsessed by them...once we gain the understanding and the tools to cope we can start to move on. Self awareness... inner strength and time are the greatest of healers 🙏

[@yanzayo]

Agree! And I appreciate Richard Grannon’s videos!

[@user-nx1wz9wc3y]

Thank you Sam for your genius.

[@Travelintherapist]

Knowledge is Power ✨

[@niathomas184]

Exactly

[@eltonpowelljr1755]

Yes

[@df-hh7yd]

Respectfully disagree: applied knowledge is power

[@Travelintherapist]

@@JP-bd4zl who said anything about reading books? I think comprehension is just as important as the information received.. because if your comprehension is off, then you will miss the message or knowledge you were meant to receive. Be well.

[@Travelintherapist]

@@df-hh7yd Yes, you must apply the knowledge received for it to be effective; however, everyone applies it in their own way and time. Whether someone applies it or not does not minimize the importance of the information being shared. Respectfully.

[@codananda]

LOL 😊 That’s me. I just want to understand this thing. I never realized I’ve been relating to narcs for a long time now. Your channel is very helpful. Keep it up.

[@nbs1964]

I married a narc for 13 years, my life was chaotic, dysfunctional and did not know what is wrong with him, igniting fights without provocation, abuse, … Watching videos is just connecting the dots and solve my puzzle

[@karen-kk2ev]

same including the timespan - far too long

[@Sue-bf5hk]

2.5 years - same

[@patriciawalker9461]

✔️! A whole bunch of dots......

[@karen-kk2ev]

@@nbs1964 it’s the cognitive dissonance

[@SxyGrl44]

Mine too. I just thought something was wrong with him. I’m like he’s crazy. No he’s more than crazy. He fits the description perfectly of a narcissist… connected the dots!

[@kammellioo]

For me its unbelievable, there is a lot of cognitive dissonance in what i experienced. Hearing it over and over helps because i have to rebuild myself worth, self esteem and sense of myself all over again. Sam you are well aware of what victims go through. Great video btw

[@darklybright]

I start doubting myself and my own perceptions, then come back to see these videos to make sure. An end product of gaslighting I guess.

[@feliciabennett2729]

Your videos are therapy for me 3 yrs

[@BarghestOne]

You treat men like dogs stop lying 😂

[@lucyt-c8092]

because it gives you insight and the courage to leave . and never never never let any narcissist back into your life . I had no idea what / who narcissism was/ is …

[@bobmetcalfe4877]

@@lucyt-c8092 nailed it

[@roccocarbone7829]

To me living with a covert narc wife for 12 years was like a sleep paralysis wanted to wake up but couldn’t , narcissist are demonic they scar innocents people for life, me too didn’t know about narcissists it’s so sad that such people’s infested the world, I was a strong minded person she managed to break to a point that I can not trust anymore .

[@saullopez3073]

It’s pretty important to know about NPD, learning they’re tactics and traits is crucial to know how to avoid them, not all narcissists are the same, identifying them before abuse is quite important

[@vanessashaver8199]

This is the best, most accurate and stunningly simple video about the fallout of narcissistic abuse that I have ever seen.

[@Rosiefieldsa]

I started listening to learn about narcissism. I keep listening because your voice is soothing, your humor makes me smile, your insights challenge my perceptions, and you hold everyone accountable.

[@theguynextdoor4978]

At some point, it's essential to draw a line in the sand and move on with our lives. Constantly watching these videos will affect the healing process. Gain the knowledge, move on, and continue to live life. I still watch narcissism videos, but not every day or all the time anymore.

[@kingstonsoundcafe]

Narcissism aside, I'm watching YOUR videos because you have a grasp for words that astounds. Plus, you are cute and funny. It is like visiting an old friend. Thank you. You have a lifelong convert.

[@TravisPeriod]

Yes! Yes! Yes! I love watching because my vocabulary increases with each video.

[@lisamarie62525]

After being out of a toxic relationship, now almost a year and a half, I noticed a couple of weeks ago that the videos I was consuming on narcissism were making me feel worse than I already felt. The videos helped immensely after getting out of the relationship, but now, after counseling, journaling, and so on, I find I don't need to listen to them. The title of this video caught my attention.

[@211Sevi]

I was expecting this video. 5 months after starting reading articles on narcissism, 2 months after my discard (I had read that exact morning on the possible ways, that might happen), I read and watch videos on narcissism, on every occasion. Topics are being saturated, any time soon. Yesterday, I thought that, this keeps me attached to the relationship. Why don't I start reading books on what a good relationship looks like (I did receive Love Life, a few hours ago.) instead? And now, this video. I very much needed. I look forward pressing the pause "button" again and bring some more light in my condition and healing process. All the best to everybody! ❤

[@richard-te3it]

I keep watching these to remind myself of what type of people I want to avoid. Keeping my reticular activating system aware of the characteristics of these type of people so I can avoid them 😊

[@ktbiwk]

Because I still have to be in contact with multiple family members that are on the extreme side of the spectrum, and the others are enablers, I watch videos weekly so I stop falling into their traps when I call/go home. It's ongoing so the videos are ongoing reminders of how to react in a self protective, healthy manner.

[@ChallengeTheNarrative]

There is coping mechanism, obsessive compulsion, however a very large portion is curiousity and learning. Always useful to gain skills.

[@leeboo23]

It's a way of staying focused on the narcissist, but in a covert and abstract way. I'm realizing that I've been doing this lately. And I'm just now realizing just how sick and tired I am of it. I'd like to have a life and a personality. Thanks Doc. I needed this. Time to go get a life after being robbed of it.

[@BifidokKefir]

Before I start watching this video, I'll write a short conclusion from another video I watched on this subject - because we try to understand chaos but this is impossible, so we keep trying. Ok, now I watch. :)

[@melissasuttles2895]

If it had not been for your videos, I would have been lost when the crying and aggression began. After 30 years together, I am seeing a completely different person. I thank you for educating me on this subject.

[@sharonb519]

I feel like a sponge wanting to soak up as much information as I can. I need reminders in my head at all times so I’m never as stupid again as I have been these past almost 8 years.

[@shirleylenehan6781]

I have to reeducate myself over and over again to understand why I keep getting involved with this type of person. My exes, those I’m dating, my boss, have all displayed narcissistic traits. Some of these traits are more extreme than others but these videos validate what I’ve learned. I want to be able to avoid these people and learn how to handle myself when in their presence. New information about this personality disorder comes forth and I’m interested in learning as much as I can as I have been financially and emotionally devastated by this type of abuse from my ex of 25 years.

[@TravisPeriod]

You can't escape it because narcissism is natural, it's in us all to varying degrees. It's what keeps us moving forward, moving upward, trying again. On a scale of 1-10, healthy narcissism is like 6.5-7. Your narcissism is the reason you're here. You're not "reeducating [yourself]," you're just looking for reasons as to why you're 'right.'

[@royalanddivine]

Now please will you make the 'How To STOP Watching Narcissism Videos' video 🙂

[@leshalegg1014]

🤣

[@EightBallAnswers1]

Truth!😂❤

[@vanessashaver8199]

lol, where is the lie

[@JulieAnne]

😂😅

[@toni-kristianpuska9100]

This is actually true. I was in a "relationship" for 9 years that started with Karpman's drama triangle, and I saw my ex spouses ex boyfriend abused mentally by her, as I was so called savior. When her ex was able to find new girlfriend, everything changed, and I became abuser and she became victim, through reactance. Everything went to hell, but I learned... She was self trashing. I walked 1000km, and listened these videos. On my walks I found my new girlfriend, that is complete opposite, she gives me understanding and love, and my anxiety lower, and CPTDS symptoms are going away. Only now I understand how sick my ex really was, and how I became something else, that I can only call Carl Jung's shadow. Now my ex has new spouse, and I feel sorry for him. Let the cycle begin. I survived only because of my tendency to do my own research.

[@EchoSpectrum4]

It changed me, the whole experience changed me. I’ll never be the same person. So I can’t stop trying to understand what happened. Thanks for calling me out 😳🥺 and describing it so perfectly too uugghhh how do you know these things

[@MaRi-dz4fu]

I used to binge watch videos on narcissism while I was stuck with my husband, and then while I was convincing myself that I had won and escaped him. But actually the thing that set me free was a two-week long marathon of watching your videos. I don’t even want to watch anything on this topic anymore, you’ve made it clear and I turned my gaze inside myself instead of keeping looking back at my former lover. I’m however watching this one because of how spot on you are with its timing. Thanks Professor, it’s been quite humbling

[@TravisPeriod]

His videos made me look inward. What was my active participation in luring the narc? What did I display that attracted her, and what did I choose to ignore once I had them? That was the final place of my education on the narc; my education of me, the codependent.

[@J.F611]

What have you learned about codependency and narcissistic abuse...i could use the insight ​@@TravisPeriod

[@tamerastone4732]

Over 3 years, post narc. Went dark, no contact. I've been concerned that I still watch a lot of these videos. This video gave me a wake up call. Thank u!!!!

[@heartstale2023]

I try to understand what is going on with me during these abusive and psychopathic 16 years. Thank you professor. your videos help me a lot. ❤

[@daxachampaneri9390]

16 years for me I'm scared

[@Aurora_Eos]

I have not watched the Video. I stopped watching Videos about Narcissists because it made me paranoid, I over diagnosed and lost my trust into humanity. I ran away with my tortured soul to these Videos to escape from looking at me and my problems to point with my fingers at others. I realized that I have to trust myself again and these Videos are an escape for my own responsibility. I don't agree with everything in the Videos, but it helped me a bit to find an explanation why I was treated that way. We don't know if the theory is correct, time will tell, but it's an explanation for the soul and the mind to find a small answer and peace for this behaviour, also if it's not 100% correct. The downside of the Videos I see now is that people are overdiagnoseong and are seeing in everything narcissistic behaviour and they are thinking they are specialists in narcissistic behaviour, Cluster b pd or psychology. I saw people doing no contact for no real reason which is when doing in the wrong situation nothing else then ghosting. I saw people using tips to torture narcissists on good friends or colleagues which they diagnosed wrongly and they hurt alot of people. Not all people have the ability to process the Videos correct and I am not sure I can myself. Alot of other channels who are learning from this channel are simply hateful and they produce more harm then help. In my oppinion, the most important thing is to be responsible for you own health and boundaries and look what you feel and how you want to be treated. Some Videos helped me to protect me and how to look for red flags.

[@deborahrobinson6553]

Crazy is described as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. Eventually after numerous videos, we all learn there is only one outcome. We must leave them. There is no cure or compromise.

[@tammigabriel8569]

This has been my response lately to anyone who suspects that they’re being abused. N do not change no matter how much we know or how much we baby them. There’s only ONE way out - and that’s OUT.

[@robertrogers2587]

It’s because we fell in love with a narcissist, and we’ve been hurt worse than we’ve ever been hurting our life and we want to prevent that from happening again so we want to find the right partner not just a new narcissist

[@InvisibleWarrior279]

Haha. Duly chastised. While I agree there are definite elements of grandiosity involved in wanting to understand this, to my own credit I could honestly say I only ever really blamed “the narcissist” to an extent. By the time I was around 30 I was starting to very clearly recognize that I had a history of attracting these very dysfunctional (as yet nameless) people like flies to honey. From that point on, my motivation has been focused on figuring out what it is about myself that would allow such vacant and disrespectful people into my orbit. This has been the focus of my learning process.

[@feliciabennett2729]

I am eternally grateful for you and all you do 🙏

[@ArielAla-kf4qd]

He’s giving main character of the subject.

[@mittalvar]

Watching narcissist videos gives satisfaction that how good person we are and we are being demonized by these abusers

[@cecillekinnear4585]

That's me. I want to be protected through understanding. I'm afraid of the kind of people in power getting the upper hand who through narcissistic authoritarianism could destroy lives. I don't want to either vulnerable or ignorant again. It's magical thinking like not stepping on the lines on the pavement. You should be proud of me as I gave myself a ten day internet break and went on holiday by the sea side where I encouraged my husband to purchase a cottage where I can live and paint. Thanks for the only conduit to sane understanding of this condition I really can get into. I tried consulting psychotherapists but I didn't know what to say. I didn't have a framework to understand the frightening daily experience of living with my unstable mother. I didn't hate her for a minute but she made me feel so worthless and inclined to shift from avoidance and rather anxious attempts to please her. The only thing I ever did that pleased my mother was as a ten year old was to take care of my infant youngest brother.

[@perry7374]

Because we are all desperately looking for the CURE (& it seems like there isn't one) Good vid. Thanks Prof.

[@SandraLeal-y8m]

Oof. This was me back in the day. But I don't look back on those times with regret. I was learning so much about a perspective that some people have that I never knew existed. Eventually, I'd healed enough that I didnt feel I needed to devour the information. I felt I'd learned enough to move forward and try to open myself back up to being myself again, and felt more safety in that due to the videos I'd watched. It was cathartic and would be way too much for me now, but at the time I needed an extreme intervention. If you're in that place now, know that it doesn't end here. You're doing what you can. ♡

[@theresafreis]

“Like liturgy” in religion. Repetition of prayer… to counter the religious-like…” black magic… what words! Seem so different but exactly flow in perfect sense. Amazing. Thank you! NO to victim. I do feel lucky for my therapist who told me I had to choose whether to be the victim. Was a victim in circumstances, but am not the victim. Not anymore. Breaking that generational pass. Amen.

[@DBAJMA]

😮 this video is absolutely necessary. I needed to hear this. I’m done, no more control. Thank you

[@Isee2121]

Yes but in the end we learn. Can't say that about the narcissist 😅

[@justwatching1985]

STOP calling me out, Professor! 😂 I blame it all on the algorithm that keeps suggesting these videos.

[@NorthLight-s9f]

I’m not sure for others but my reason is because I grew up with narcissistic parents and need to separate my shame from theirs. I do it by finding where they end and I begin and understanding the process of projective identification (that they put onto me). I am essentially trying to individuate from them, realising that the shame I carry is mostly theirs and that my identity is for me to work out distinct from their projections. That’s the foundation of it. Apart from that, I am refining my world view. I tend to project my naivety onto the world, seeing others as safer than they are, and am therefore not adequately armoured against further abuse from these personalities. So learning about how narcissism functions to help me avoid future narcissistic abuse.

[@sachananay6873]

Sam , I have watched so many of your videos because of the reasons you have just described., but nowadays I put on your videos if I can’t get to sleep , your even toned calming voice luls me right to sleep .. I love your longer videos for this purpose. I chose the ones that last at least an hour . I’ve tried to fall asleep to other peoples narcissist videos but they don’t work.. they don’t talk long enough. The tone is off .. no bueno . I want to thank you 🙏 shalom

[@lucf1298]

I think we all want to validate...it is comforting and who can resist videos that offer ideas for covert revenge? But most (99%) videos seem to address bad past relationships-I'm not searching to find my situation bc I know I won't find it. I love watching your videos bc you're not only the most informative, but have a great sense of humor.

[@johnheselwood1982]

I was stuck in this loop for a while. I tend to turn away from these videos now but they still pop up like this one of course. May be the less interested you get the more sign there is of healing. It takes time. I was this person who got hooked on these videos because it felt like the only way to process the gaslighting and feel heard when I was stuck in the darkest places with no self worth. I took the spiritual path which help me make sense of the dynamic between myself as an empathic person and the narcissists in my life. Thank you for this video. It helps shed light on what became a new addiction for me: narcissism and other related mental health videos. The latter replaced my substance abuse. In the end though the videos became as confusing as the abuse with ever more layers of contradictory theories and advice. Seeking direct help is what helped me to truly progress the healing process and learn about setting healthy boundaries. Is been a long journey but I leave this message to give hope to others. Sending love to all those who are struggling with narcissists in their lives. You are worthy, powerful and loved ❤

[@Szilvamag100]

I do it and did it to completely understand about this personality disorder for the sake of myself and others in my environment. Once I feel that I know enough I’ll stop to do that for sure.

[@Shane-Lockwood]

Thank you this video, Sam. I fell that rabbit hole for months until I discovered your channel. Thankfully videos on this subject are no longer being recommended to me by the algorithm.

[@cozyfoxstudio]

Eventually you will stop but occasionally you see one pop up in your feed and you watch because its only 14 minutes long and looks interesting.

[@sysye]

I have been watching videos for years to make sure i never fall into the fangs of a narcissist again, since it's very familiar to me because my father is one. So far it has worked so i dont mind continuing

[@ateam2606]

I didn’t mean to hit dislike and I can’t take it back so sorry! And yes I watch them as REMINDERS Sam , not as an obsession because our nature is to generally trust and every now and then when a narc acts somewhat normal I respond as if they were normal so I need to remind myself to be aware at all times and these videos keep me on my toes.

[@SarahLindner-vr9qk]

it helps me to validate what happened to me because sometimes I still can’t believe it. But yes… I asked myself the same thing: how I’m still “wasting” my life time to this topic… And if I should not better invest my time into finally living MY life. But I already spend less and less time with narcissism videos… but still, the knowledge from the videos really helps me to make sense out of all of it.

[@Jennx7080]

I listen to Sam when the abuse is bad because he doesn't sugar coat the dangers. I'm still w/ the sadistic narcissist. I'll go without watching these but start again when he's drawing me back in. My entire family died & he's used it to destroy my psyche but I'm fighting back & finally putting a plan together after 15 years.

[@ShawnonSkates]

This is a form of ruminating. Let us have at it. At least it is educational rumination and it lets us know we are not alone. 💕💕

[@TheBadSpoon]

Pathological A-holes certainly are equal parts infuriating and interesting. Thanks for sharing this video, Prof.

[@MajorenSnor]

Thank you professor Vaknin, you have made life so much better

[@jonc6463]

I didn’t realise that it was the intermittent reinforcement which was part of trauma bonding process… as always your video is full of interesting insights

[@attractarattigan3574]

I went to my Dr for yrs with all my health issues.. Had several operations. After 40 yrs Dr told me I was the Victim of Domestic Elder & Narcissistic abuse He said to Leave. Within 2 days I relocated from my home & farm to the Town. 2018.Since I my health improved 1,000,000 %. Read every Book... Listened to Videos.. All helped me heal. & Law & Justice. Got Job. Life is very good & peaceful & calm.

[@srice5596]

You have helped me more than you know Mr Vaknin. I did finally stop watching "the videos" for the most part now and healed myself. Learning through listening helped me immensely though, primarily in the first 2 years of all of the "realizations". 💞 Thank you!

[@annag4351]

Survival- observe, understand, avoid. My survival instinct tells me to learn as much as I can to avoid. As my upbringing made me blind to this in the past and you, among others, opened my eyes, validation and understanding of the phenomenon will help me to run for the hills in the future- or so I hope. Thank you for sharing your knowledge, Professor ❤

[@rebecadaroqui1226]

After watching many of your videos 😂😂 and understanding a little 🤓about the mechanism of trauma bonding, the desire to watch videos from other 'experts' online is reduced to 0...precisely because you accept that you are not an angel and you do not want to continue being a victim. ... assuming the responsibility of changing what is necessary so that this does not happen again. Thanks Sam! We need a video explaining why we can't stop to see YOUR videos!!!

[@MBX887]

I can stop 🛑 I stopped with so many things. But u got a lot of clever lessons, not only for a narcissistic partnership but also how to understand people’s reactions and personalities, and u help me see my own narcissistic tendencies. I would very much like to be a better version of myself! Thank you Sam V., I’m getting there one day… 🥰

[@annebarber2368]

I walked into the light after many years of torture. The perpetrator now diagnosed in more than one area. I was shocked, broken. I still experience shock and disbelief. In this season of my life thank you.

[@pointofnoreturn3103]

Thanks for making this video! You are right. I AM trying to make sense of what happened. Honestly, I tell my story about recovery because I want to empower others to do the same. In the last few months, I have learned that I don't have to be afraid of history repeating itself. Once you recognize the red flags, you can put your boundaries into place, and I am seeing that different people make different decisions. To my knowledge, I am not seeking a thumbs up on my comments. But, maybe it IS time to move on to other topics. Thanks! I think you said exactly what I needed to hear! I've spoken my truth! I suppose that is all that matters. The information is out there now, and hopefully people will benefit from it! Thanks again! Susan

[@annettehunter9743]

It pisses me off that there are so many self-proclaimed 'experts' on narcissism on youtube. You were there for me way back in 2008 when nobody else was touching the topic. Your book saved me. I left reviews on your book on Amazon and some other site that I forget the name of. You are a true academic peer reviewed expert. Respect from Ireland 🇮🇪 I only listen to you by the way. The others annoy me as I think they are empty wannabe experts.

[@pendaranroberts4350]

This was a great video! Can't wait to watch the next one!

[@mindy1230]

I am responding to the title. Sam my Mother was a Narcissist. I had relationships also. The last boyfriend threatened me - big mistake. I called him "Amateur " then he was incarcerated. I watch these vids every so often because it's my healing journey and as I grow and learn, I have found the validation I never had as a child. I'm so proud of myself. ❤ Thank you for your work also

[@richard.c.guitars]

I do it to become aware of what’s going on and to reframe a whole lot of events that happened and train myself into recognising what really happened. It has helped me become way more aware and confident in myself, because I was trained by my upbringing to believe there was something wrong with me. It helps me avoid and identify future bad behaviour…..I was conditioned to think narcissistic behaviour was normal by my family and I was the black sheep. I do know some of it is nonesense, and I can stop. I also enjoy your videos, you are actually pretty funny !

[@maefernandezlee5138]

Thank you for this. I’ve been watching narc videos for about eight months now. I guess it’s time for me to move on with my life, i can never get the lost years back anyway. This is the wake up call i needed.

[@Jayslyfe]

0:11 😂😂😂 I was not expecting to be this tickled. I haven’t giggled like this in a while 😂

[@frontier6154]

I only watch videos about narcissism if Sam Vaknin makes them

[@BenedictC-sb6de]

It gives me a sense of control over the narcissist! (I know the irony of not being able to control my watching these narcissist videos). This came exactly at the right time. Thank you.

[@lindab6974]

Wait! Don't stop the video mid-way! How do I stop? I've been going down this rabbit hole for a decade, and I can't seem to stop. Please .... make another video on how to stop.

[@kassiekleman898]

Treat it like an addiction. Admit you have a problem, work your way out of it. Heal, grow.

[@LizPowers-qn4xv]

I can’t stop watching them because I love listening to this guys talk and it’s what he mostly talks about!

[@MingPhoenix-Romania]

Thank you for the video, even before watching it. Videos about narcissism and horseshoe changing are my favorites.

[@rehasporttv]

I confess I started watching only your vids some months ago. And with each vid you openend my eyes even more wide about being victimized and about myself! Without your support and your fantastic book I would have never been abled to getan insight view of what happenend. Without your vids I would be still persecuted by him! Without you I would never have got the idea how to mortify „my“ narcissist, so that he vanished and never hoovered me again. Without you I would never have had the chance to work on my own issues like ADHD and subclinical borderline and the abuse of my narcissistic parents. Without you I would probably still rewake the contact to that alien. Meeting the narcissist and your vids were the best therapy to learn to know me! You said in one vid, if you learn to know one narcissist, you generally learn to know all of them. All the comments here of victimized people I can identify with my experience. And the last: I prefer to be addicted to your vids as to this alien! Thank you Sam! I cant help it but I introjected you as an all good object and this will last forever 😊👍

[@VALERIA_START]

Thank you , doctor . I spend days learning from you. I new very little about narcissistic manipulations. I got into narcissistic trap recently, spent there 6 month of my life , almost changed my whole life for him , almost moved into another country for him ....almost ..because i suddenly woke up after his Absolutely awful rage of jealousy of my past life . I woke up , i realized that he is not 100 percent normal and i started to search for answer. After 2 days of searching i found your channel . Thank God ! I am getting back to normal now ( after listening to you for 10 days ) Big thank You 🙏

[@gastondotta7294]

My reason is so that i remember i'm not crazy. i've been so long in deep relation with narcicists that i sometimes struggle to keep my recently achieved mental balance and health. Get angry, defend yourself, cut contact, love yourself, know yourself

[@disaj7460]

Figuring out how to navigate this terrible experience (that is on-going for many) is a huge part of mining vids for insight. But i do agree that it can get way out of hand if we're not establishing healthy boundaries & not seeking solutions for our own particular healing.

[@theglobalvagabond3074]

I watch because I view it as exercise to ensure that I stay in shape. Also, I want to continue educating myself on this issue because it is hard to find good information on this topic and I never want to be caught off guard again. Learning this stuff is a life skill that many of us learn way too late in life. If I have to watch a few videos a week to stay in shape..so be it.

[@pipizondersnuif1335]

I'm only watchin this channel tbh. i feel like it's easy to click on something which is making you feel better. alot of narc videos will make you feel better but tend to only validate what you already want to believe. this channel is different, it doesnt necessarily do that, your giving unbiased insight about developments inside the field . It does help me understand ones motive working in the manager field and also ones ability to cope against it. to create solutions before problems are out of control. so thanks vaknin.

[@russ876]

While I must say that from a technical standpoint, the KZbin algorithm plays as much a role in this phenomenon (e.g.: in videos related to other subject matter from news to fitness etc.) as what you have mentioned, your point is taken. Time to “sh** or get off the pot”-do what it takes to move forward, so to speak, assuming one is informed and ready to do so. I also must add, however, that I would not have come as far as I have without some of said material even if I’ve had to sift through a lot and hit the “don’t recommend channel” button a number of times. I also don’t think I would have watched the say, 7-10 videos of your own that I have if I had no respect for clinicians or academia. Thank you for your contribution to this site. It is appreciated. : )

[@annikaspahr9705]

Perfect timing as usual Prof. Sam I was just thinking about this the other day. How much longer should I continue to stay in this realm of victimhood? But having said that, you have most definitely helped me unravel, dissect and undiscombobulate my 10 year chaotic relationship with a Narcissist. And for that I am truly grateful. Time to get on with my life. I will have to do some weaning...

[@andrelive9295]

One moment- watching again and again makes you not forget and forgive especially in the beginning of breakup!!!!

[@Kaniala-l7s]

My advice to everyone is to eliminate their cell phones ❤ asap and just go back to living life. Its revolutionary.

[@lilithh23]

that's literally me... borderline obsessed with such type of videos😅

[@mohammedadnan4770]

I have been watching these videos for months and months as I am connecting dots to ensure that I am not making a wrong decision if I would leave my wife. I have a kid and don’t want to make my decision that might regret in the future for the sake of my boy. I have been suffering for years but I am staying in this relationship because of him. I don’t want him to be with here alone and helpless. I know for him seeing conflicts between his parents day and night is very harming but I don’t want to leave him alone with here. She is very aggressive with him and doesn’t have empathy to him. She thinks that parenting is making him wearing fancy clothes and being shine and clean. I am the one who provides him the unconditional love and give him the quality time.. She has never played with him in this 9 years and she is never hugged him a real hugg that makes you feel it. Watching these videos make me feel that I am not the only one who is suffering, make me sure that I am not the problem, make me sure that leaving her is the right decision but I am waiting for the right time.

[@robkruit2122]

I think it’s because most of us are subconsciously still in denial. We understand the psychological explanation by now but deep down inside we’re still in doubt if this is what really happened to us. If the other person is really like that and if what we experience is really C-PTSD and if it’s really emotional flashbacks when we get triggered. We still ask ourselves if it was really that bad and if we are really “damaged” by it. That’s why we need to hear to hear stories from people who went through the same thing and go like ahhh see! That’s it! We need so much confirmation because we can no longer judge by ourselves how we are feeling and we even doubt if we remember things correctly.