Herb Welch: Virginity Pledge Rally - SNL

Veteran reporter Herb Welch (Bill Hader) covers a group of Staten Island teens taking a virginity pledge outside of their high school, and resents taking orders from news anchor Chuck Dawes (Taran Killam). [Season 40, 2014]
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[@caymangoodman6207]

asmr: bill hader beats you with a microphone

[@arpitdas4263]

😩

[@SheriffOutlaw]

Omg 🤣

[@ArtixellAnimations]

I'd pay to watch that

[@MercurySpades]

POV: Bill Hader beats you with a microphone

[@scottyPsychotty]

Take my money!

[@xcelestialsongx]

"I don't take orders from mannequins. I know you're smooth down there." 😂

[@chadkase7580]

What size shoe do you wear?

[@lamelwinston5638]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@alexanderpanayi7212]

"Stick a zagnut in it sideburns."

[@Beverly_Dingus]

The look on Taran Killam's face after he says that is hilarious.

[@upperleftcoastchelseafan7718]

I literally snorted the Dr. Pepper I was drinking out of my nose and all over my bed when he said that! Freakin' Hader is brilliant. I really should know better than to drink anything when Heb Welch is reporting.

[@justinsullivan5839]

Dude Pete didn’t crack. I’m amazed hahaha

[@michellemabelle8298]

Yeah amazing lol

[@carolinamurtha3102]

I thought for sure he’d crack a smile at either him saying “I’m a virgin” or when Bill said “I don’t orders from mannequins; I know your smooth down there.” I sure as hell had to pause and to laugh my ass off. Proud of Pete, he’s getting better 😄.

[@TheGirAddict]

The mic hits keep them in check lol

[@StrongEnough78]

Especially after the "I know you're smooth down there" line. I would have lost it lol.

[@BreaMason]

Well he was getting hit in the face

[@cyheemwilliams335]

"Herb, why don't you talk to that organizer?" Herb: "Why didn't your wife take your last name?.............Coward". Lmao I'm no good

[@30catsinacardigan22]

i thought it was especially funny bc hader's ex wife didn't take his last name

[@andrewphillips8341]

Classic!

[@boldnbrash7028]

@@30catsinacardigan22 neither did Tarrans

[@andreimamaev2982]

Herb understands everything clearly 😅🤣😂

[@eacey]

"you dont look like a fitzgerald to me" most passive aggressive racism

[@adaicduygu4317]

Carl Marks SOOOOO TRUE

[@annethrax20]

@Carl Marks watching someone call a conservative a "snowflake" is what I imagine watching Jesus part water was like

[@annethrax20]

@Carl Marks that's cool

[@kinocrone7275]

@@annethrax20 Do I correct you and potentially get /wooshed or do I assume I'm missing some obscure internet reference? Is this my life now?

[@annethrax20]

@@kinocrone7275 source: the Bible

[@officialheathercombseardrp559]

Bill was so incredible in "It, Chapter Two," that we're Hader binging. Comedic genius.

[@rebeccawest1912]

His timing is incredible. Absolutely love Stefon.

[@justinbel68]

I am also a Hader Binger, it’s fun!

[@evelynu.5838]

I've been on a bill hader binge since the moment I watched the trailer for It chapter 2 and I don't regret it at all! He's truly incredible.

[@georgiathomas2015]

Sameeee

[@Kat_M557]

I didn’t need IT Chapter two to binge watch him. Barry, Saturday Night Live. More

[@regardingpolishkid]

"Don't you scat at me beatnik"

[@yellowblanka6058]

"Show's over Jazzman!"

[@greegeree]

"I don't take orders from mannequins."

[@rflcanela]

LOL

[@penlesswhat22]

Damn.. beat me to it lol

[@tjyouman5282]

Stick a zagnut in it sideburns!

[@ec1385]

This sketch has Mulaney written all over it.

[@johnroscoe2406]

Do you just go to all the Bill Hader clips and type the same thing?

[@laurenring9721]

So. Much. Mulaney.

[@imtryingmybest673]

Eric Cox of course, it has the word “bodega” in it at least once

[@kevinlucianovich6827]

HE WROTE IT!!

[@spencerreed6014]

I just watched what you linked to and am now crying with laughter😂

[@FanOfAttitudeEra]

"Hola que paso senorita" ! That line kills me.

[@starbuzz95ayu]

What does it mean?

[@Slimbaful]

@@starbuzz95ayu Hey how are you doing lady.

[@jc3m]

@@starbuzz95ayu Slimbaful was close-ish. It's not "how are you doing", it's "what happened".

[@624radicalham]

@@jc3m That's a literal translation which doesn't work. It's "What's up"

[@jc3m]

@@624radicalham Sure, if the word was pasa and not pasó. The reporter is asking what happened. Did you watch the video?

[@domtillman630]

I died when the microphone came out of the left side. I wish Bill Hader did it in his most recent hosting.

[@savagenature1]

It kinda makes you wonder how Herb is able to do that :P

[@TheLovelySheri]

I know you're smooth down there 😂😂😂🤣😭😭😭

[@chey6073]

Props to Pete for keeping a straight face during that 😭

[@mercster]

I came here to type this, but you beat me to it. Well done.

[@ristestankovski]

Sheri I'm not, do u wanna see a picture of my junk?

[@TheLovelySheri]

ristestankovski, no thank you. I'll pass. I'd rather look at my own junk.

[@3Dogg]

Nothing else was said lmao

[@JasonBorn89]

"Why didnt your wife take your last name?..........coward"

[@kundriagallo7902]

JasonBorn89 hola, que paso señorita 😂😂😂😂

[@joeybear5707]

JasonBorn89 dudes wife (colby smulders) really didnt take his last name after marriage. I think that look on his face was legit...

[@clarkkent163000]

Joey Bear Well, no actors change their names. It's a trademark.

[@uluhru4evoh]

I dont take orders from mannequins....i know youre smooth down there

[@apolloclouds]

Wives are not property they shouldn't have to take their husband's last name

[@flisko123]

snl if u are reading this, we want more herb welch do it now

[@sha11235]

Bill is no longer on the show.

[@shihalya]

I think when corona is over they going to do a lot of alumni sketches, cause they will need new castmembers.... one of the musicians already died

[@yorgeesmorgee]

not want. need

[@TornadoWhirl33]

*you Don't be lazy, butthead.

[@fiatalfa7193]

@@sha11235 the fuck

[@ElFrankElTank]

Hader is amazing 😂

[@rflcanela]

YES!!

[@parker-lol]

facts!!

[@gustavgnoettgen]

"And there you have it. The russkies have a monkey in outer space. So that's 'lights out' for uncle Sam... Back to you, Chuck."

[@nicholasdiehl7368]

Best part

[@jo4504]

Is that a reference to something? I didn't get that part at all. (Not American)

[@lancelotto475]

​@jo4504 It was a reference to when Russia (under Soviet rule) launched an animal into Earth orbit, which at the time was a big step in aerospace technology and caused some Americans to fear that the Soviet Union was becoming more technologically advanced than the US.

[@donjones4719]

@@jo4504 Herb was referring to the early days of the Space Race in the Cold War. (When the Russians were called Russkies.) Herb was, as always, confused. The US launched monkeys on suborbital flights in the 1950s and a couple of chimpanzees in c.1960. Although the Soviets flew mice and other small animals in the '50s they didn't fly monkeys till the 1980s. The Soviet Union did send a dog into orbit in 1957, Laika. That caused a big uproar in the US, with fears the US was behind in technology, especially rocket tech - aka ICBM tech. The US had not even launched a simple satellite to orbit then. Herb called this shortfall "lights out for Uncle Sam." (Lights outs is slang for a boxer being knocked out.)

[@ninjasdielast]

bill hader is the BEST !!!

[@slydoll7877]

"don't you scat at me beatnik!" "show's over jazzman!"

[@tyronedobbins5151]

“Don’t tell me how to do the news you drugstore Indian!!” 😭😭😭 I’m literally crying right now

[@brace110]

I love his summaries :) "some racist chatter....and that's the news"

[@Athmel]

​@@viracocha "You don't look like a Fitzgerald to me." - Means Pete is too ethnic looking to have an Irish surname. Speaking to the lady in Spanish when she already spoke perfect English. Assuming that she's Hispanic and came from an impoverished background, and specifically calling it a bodega.

[@woodson21]

The three summaries were the best parts of the skit!

[@Dr.Chakrabarti]

I wonder what would happen if Herb welch and Steffan met

[@basketanand]

Ritu Chakrabarti oooooooooh...I like the way you think...I'm so going to write that!! and Vinnie Veddeci too maybe...

[@Fabo100]

Ritu Chakrabarti Herbie would sure be disgusted by Steffon and his flamboyant shirts...but Steffon would love little Herbie, awwwww

[@jackiethompson7446]

Herb would stretch him like a fat babies britches

[@AmaraEmme]

Dude Bill Hader is so versatile, I totally forgot Herb and Stefon are played by the same person :OOO!!!!!

[@luv3daysgrace1]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes

[@jasnajovic7722]

Herb is the best!!!😂😂😂 That voice though...😜

[@EvilFookaire]

"I know you're smooth down there".... holy fuck someone bury me already, I'm dead here lol...

[@sammyeagleson5352]

"Why do you have a diaper bag?"😂

[@RyanSmith-wo2pi]

Again

[@EvilFookaire]

Goddamnit, even when knowing that "I know you're smooth down there" is about to hit... even when telling myself that I'm prepared this time... that bit just insta-kills me lol...

[@Alassandros]

"Don't tell me how to do the news, you drugstore Indian."

[@R0ACH44]

"I don't take orders from mannequins." is my new insult

[@mercster]

Don't you scat at me, BEATNIK.

[@mercster]

Stick a Zagnut in it, sideburns.

[@michaeldeguzman8675]

lol. "from the bodega to the boardroom."

[@claudiosantos1014]

Finally another Herb Welch Sketch... Hader is simply great!

[@nebulousisgod]

Him constantly trying to send it back to Chuck is the funniest thing that exists in life

[@ootomaskooo]

Hader simply carries every single sketch he's in! :)

[@sammyeagleson5352]

Taran Killam is no slouch either

[@leester321]

Bill Hader is easily one of the hardest working and most impressive actors in snl history in my opinion

[@Countdownsmiles]

I've somehow never seen this one. So many great lines from Bill "Show's over jazz man" Is gonna be coming out of my mouth for months

[@sunnyrastin]

bill hader 4 president

[@pulmonary4051]

Coolio

[@sonofchlar6144]

pulmonary 40 with coolio as Vice President? I’m down.

[@SavvyMuhon]

French Jesus You’re so edgy

[@theonlycma]

I want to like this but you commented 4 years ago and you have the 4 in the comment and there are 444 likes and I'm the 4th comment. It's too perfect.

[@kuhnhan]

Nice idea, but he's too smart.

[@kroganpopy9206]

'You don't look like a Fitzgerald to me...' lol

[@spacepeanut8993]

@melaaani.97 Usually someone with that last name is of Irish decent.

[@g194g]

*Interviews someone about a virginity pledge* “Don’t believe the hype Central Park remains unsafe for women after dark” lmao

[@samginoble2397]

Stick a zagnut in it, sideburns. lol

[@RC.41]

Sam Ginoble 😍

[@jahigains9201]

I didn't even know what a Zagnut was, but I was dyin anyway

[@samginoble2397]

@@jahigains9201 I think it’s like an old school candy bar 😂

[@andercoyote4170]

I laughed so hard at that one, thinking most watching are too young to know what’s a zagnut

[@irvlangarcia1975]

"I know you're smooth down there" had me dead

[@ashtonmcroy2200]

the funniest part is when he hits people in the face with his mic

[@michelleblling803]

I couldn't keep it together it's so funny😂😂😂

[@DS-xk6yr]

It was funny the first few times, then it got tired. The dialogue was good enough to carry the sketch without it continuing.

[@samanthagreen576]

Herb's voice is like oddly soothing...

[@fernandovazquezsr.4710]

Herb: "Hola, que paso senorita." I'm dead! 💀🤣😭

[@kroganpopy9206]

'Got a kid?' 'No, I'm a virgin.' 'Then why do got a diaper bag?' LMAO!!!!

[@upperleftcoastchelseafan7718]

Bill did like five or six Herb Welch skits and I constantly replay them, they're that good. The one with Emma Stone & Kristen Wiig in Falling Ice is one of the funniest skits in SNL history, scratch that, they're all gold. "I know you're smooth down there" has got to be six of the funniest words ever uttered on SNL. Freakin' love Herb Welch.

[@MrGlamour2011]

02:15: I love cute Tarams face expression after the "Why didn t your wife take your last name?" question :-))) So full of embarassement and hate at the same time :-)))

[@CuriousGoodsJessica]

"Why didn't your wife take your last name?" 🤣 I'm dyin

[@terrortoby47]

...Coward.

[@RyanSmith-wo2pi]

What

[@RyanSmith-wo2pi]

Lol

[@aswinhoola]

I died when he said 'From the Bodega to the boardroom Latin Americans are on the move'.....Dafaq?

[@svetlanaandrasova6086]

I know you´re smooth down there....killed me :D

[@unclecreepy4073]

At first I thought this skit was written just so Bill could give Pete a few good whacks. Turns out, it’s just so Bill could totally burn Taran about his wife not taken his last name.

[@dielaughing73]

Yeah that seemed to sting

[@xanderk84]

If Bill Hader ever hosts SNL to promote Barry or something PLEASE do another Herb Welch sketch!

[@avaguitarestava]

Bill is so funny he almost made himself crack “I know you’re smooth down there” 😂😂

[@Juliet475]

Ken Doll.....lol....

[@julias.348]

I laughed so hard at this. Bill is amazing :)

[@justexisting.]

"I know you are *_smooth_* down there" THE WAY I SNORTED

[@imoon5858]

I know you’re smooth down there 😂😂😂😂

[@fulltimeslackerii8229]

From bodega to board rooms is such a hilarious line

[@sarah_b_555]

I've seen the original clip (w/ the actual Herb Welch) and bill Hader NAILED it in this particular one 😆😂😆

[@triscuithebiscuit]

Wait there's an actual Herb Welch?

[@Athmel]

@@triscuithebiscuit I looked around, and people say it's this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/d6XdeGatmauSf7c

[@alexanderpanayi7212]

"Don't tell me how to do the news you drugstore Indian."lmfao starts banging camara with his mic

[@moedab138]

Herb Welch: I dont take orders from mannequins ... I know you're smooth down there 😂😂🤣🤣

[@geraniaceae4470]

There are no words to describe the brilliance of Bill Hader and the genius behind this script.

[@marknilson3653]

I love the implication that there’s always paramedics on hand, like he might just die and they know it

[@lonneiayoung3202]

“I know you’re smooth down there” 😂😂

[@cassylk22]

Bill speaking spanish in his herb welch voice is something i never knew i needed

[@chelyvo]

He sounds so hot 🔥 😍

[@cassylk22]

@@chelyvo ikrrr 😍

[@kroganpopy9206]

'Shows over jazz man.' (Smack) LMAO!!!!!!!

[@louisdellalucca8969]

There needs to be a Best of Bill Hader special. He always makes me laugh cry

[@angelas.1581]

“I don’t take orders from mannequins. I know you’re smooth down there.” 😃😃😂😂😂😂

[@MrBuckethead911]

Bill Hader is a legend. I bursted out laughing at 2:30

[@MarciaPze]

God I can’t imagine a date with Bill and not having fun! He is hilarious!

[@roberth_leiva]

Hola, que pasó, señorita?

[@laurenjcoates]

“Latin Americans are on the move” lmaooo

[@mstalcup]

Bill Hader at his best! Wonderful.

[@rajithmaligaspe]

Yay! Hoped for a Herb Welch sketch and they delivered! :D

[@stephskylarr]

"don't tell me how to do the news, you drugstore indian" LOL damn Bill Hader can make anything funny

[@Castigarr]

Bill Hader smacking with the microphone...kills me everytime 😂😂😂😂

[@rebekahholm218]

Bill hader is a treasure

[@Handmadebysunrise]

Everytime Pete is in a skit where is he being beaten with something he does not break lmao

[@wopfrog007]

“Why didn’t your wife take your last name... coward?” 🤣🤣🤣😵😵😵

[@mrztaylorlautner4evr]

"I know you're smooth down there" kills me every time 😂😂

[@neuroling]

I can't breathe!!! "I know you're smooth down there" LOL 😂

[@BrokeredHeart]

That muttered "coward." made me spit out my coffee.

[@enriquegilmour]

The Herb Welch skits aren't laugh out loud funny but at the same time they are hilarious.

[@masonpines6349]

"Shows over, jazz man!" *bop* *bop bop*

[@jayar7436]

“Well, there you have it folks: from bodegas to boardrooms, Latin Americans are on the move.” LMFAO

[@livh3065]

"i know you're smooth down there" lmfao

[@Me-qp8vz]

Damn Pete takes those mike blows to the face like a champ. How does he not lose it.

[@itskayla9735]

Bill Hader is an ICONNNN 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@ghadajebnani6460]

Where's the "HERB WELCH LIVES" at the end?

[@Kowasi]

Béatrice Longfeatherbottom Supplies!

[@mattyice7013]

Sick beat at 2:53

[@lol_almighty]

smooth down there . lol

[@mickos_]

Bill hader is pure gold. This is hilarious.

[@user-ok9nx9yr6k]

I can’t stop laughing. I never saw them live so it’s like discovering comedy gold.

[@SergeantSarcasm1]

SHOW'S OVER JAZZ MAN!

[@banjoarefood898]

"Don't you scat at me, beatnik!"

[@tiernytouch3274]

This is genuinely one of my favorite Hader skits of many

[@nefwaenre]

Herb was so fun to watch! God i miss Bill Hader on SNL.

[@kroganpopy9206]

Lmao, God damn it Bill Hader.

[@miagonzo5522]

"why do you have a diaper bag?" 😂😂

[@tiannaalyssa4144]

yo when the mic hit him I lost it

[@minemaster1337]

2:25 the news anchor on the left looks like a poor man's Jason Sudeikis

[@lillien27]

The skit is hilarious though it's not the same without Jason S.

[@jonathonroldan9170]

Herb Welch skits keep me in tears 🤣...I really want a Herb Welch movie!!

[@kroganpopy9206]

'Spill the beans.' (Smack) lol!