Scapegoats When Narcissistic Parents Ask THIS - DON'T ANSWER!

[@Nick-dg3fk]

Never tell a narcissist your secrets or your weaknesses.

[@rachelspeck1230]

My narcissistic father says “you can tell me anything…” The smear campaign against me was/is something my father put a great deal of effort into. Hours of phone calls and letter writing ; conversations and figuring out ways to trick me into confiding in him. It was like being kicked really hard in the throat

[@d.r.q.2032]

Um when you grow up with them then too late. But yeah, when we are in our 40's and figure this out then I guess we can start from there.

[@Nick-dg3fk]

@rachelspeck1230 the backstabbing from someone who's supposed to love you is unreal. I'm sorry you went through that.

[@dark7angel456]

I came across a lot of narcissists and I know exactly what hell happens so I just avoid them as much as possible

[@dark7angel456]

@@rachelspeck1230 I have a similar problem with my and other relatives and strangers and just online parasitic people there is no way around it but just keep to yourself because you can't trust what they're going to do

[@sunnyadams5842]

They aren't listening. They are LEARNING YOU.

[@leannesmith1207]

"I have yet to meet a scapegoat that doesn't have a beautiful heart." - brought tears to my eyes. Thank you

[@Picca65]

It's sooooo true!! But beware: some are so damaged that they can damage others while trying too hard to do it right.

[@leannesmith1207]

@@Picca65 my comment suggested that I've experienced being scapegoated so I have found your negative spin on it unhelpful and insensitive, and am confused why you would reply with that. Scapegoats still have beautiful hearts and that is something to be proud of especially when most of the time it is difficult to truly feel proud of themselves.

[@nahiedlaila9601]

@@leannesmith1207 i feel you!

[@leannesmith1207]

@@nahiedlaila9601 sending you my thoughts!

[@KingMark33]

Right! This part really hit me. I’m the nicest person I know and I always wondered why anyone would want to bully the most loving person.

[@drmtokes]

"A narcissist that goes to therapy becomes a better narcissist"..... Wow! Couldn't have said it any better.....

[@specialstone9153]

Instead of getting insight, get better weaponized in their abuse towards others!

[@xoli.8780]

I called my mom out on her narcissism and she went to a clinical psychologist to prove that she's not. I can assure you that she has become 10 times worse than she was when I called her out. It's very true that they become even better in their narcissistic tendencies. I decided to go no contact because she has became my biggest hater and goes out of her way to make my life a living hell 😢

[@MargauxNeedler]

There's only so much they can do against the truth. They're always childish nmw

[@hardhatjack2207]

Mine was educated in psychology. Talk about a better narcissist

[@dark7angel456]

Yes I have came across song psychiatrist that were the worst narcissist ever. Plus them having the ability to prescribe prescription pills on to people is the definition of hell

[@Timblisi]

If you tell a narcissist what hurts you, they'll make it a point to do it.

[@saj4642]

I'm always a victim of this act.

[@cairosilver2932]

So can you turn it around and tell them something you're fine with and even want them to do (like not be in contact with you) and say it'll really hurt you? I mean can you as in that'd actually influence their behavior?

[@bunille]

When you intentionally tell them what hurts you anyway... I have too much hope in people.

[@dyoung2739]

Exactly

[@NB-2020]

@@cairosilver2932 Best thing is to stop playing their game (of deception) -- they will always beat you at it. Besides, that will be turning yourself into someone (a deceiver) that you are not.

[@merbaumshador7568]

The more you show confidence, the more they say you are coming across insecure.

[@Gohan9112]

That sounds like western women. I often see women reacting that way towards guys who knows what they want. For instance when guys I don't date black women or feminists or s*luts, they yell back saying, "thats because you can't handle a real woman or that's because you're insecured"

[@nahiedlaila9601]

Or they call u arrogant and ungrateful haha

[@freedomwarrior5087]

Asserting yourself or exercising a boundary is viewed as being cruel, it's a major offense.

[@truthmerchant1]

Or they say "I'm worried about you" meaning they're worried that you're not giving them the supply they want.

[@mayamartin7359]

And the more your inner peace helps you become non reactive, and start to handle them like a calm but firm parent of a tantruming toddler, the more they tell you you take everything way too personally, and you just have to blow up at every little thing. 😅 I’m teaching my 7yo, in an age appropriate way, about gaslighting and DARVO responses. She’s going to be invincible.

[@sonnyca]

I used to over explain and that’s how they figured out how to press my buttons. I would talk to my mother and tell her how much I’m hurting and how can she keep gaslighting me and side with those abusing me. She never relented and kept denying. Slowly, I realized that everything I was telling them was just fuel for more abuse. Now, I keep to myself. The more I learn about them the more I realize that I’m not responsible for their dysfunctional lives or their feelings.

[@luckycharm1212]

I have the same problem. I talk a lot too coz I feel so lonely. They are the only people I have so I talk, over explain and feel so drained and ashamed of my behavior later. I am aware of this but don't know how to change or stop.

[@12himitsu12]

@@luckycharm1212 i think the first step is realizing that it will never end and time flies so why waste it with somebody who is not on your side? It's better to be alone. The most important thing would be finding a hobby so you have sth that you enjoy and that occupies your mind

[@sannajohanna5579]

Yes, and it is hard. I noticed recently this same about myself - and I‘ve done it for YEARS! For decades, actually. I decided to be grey rock and as „official“ as possible. I still say too much. It is also sad to realise that inna way they are happy that they do not have to handle my feelings about anything. Which means: They do not really care who I am. They want to see a nice doll playing home in me. I decided to live double life: for them I am a rock, and aside I create a life that I do not reveal them. I mist say this feels odd, but I remind myself that this is indeed a way to survive some way. Because no contact also is a very hard decision and difficult in this society.

[@sannajohanna5579]

@@luckycharm1212 Becaware that they might be the only ones because they do notcwant you to havevanyone else - and you sibconciously follow their wish. My oarents do not want me to have anything on my own, nothing. I have said about it to them - of course, they deny, but their actions tell another story. Every time when I have something nice, self-created in my life, it is as an insult to them! Start to look for friends. Take a hobby where you can meet your tribe. You desreve it.

[@dnk4559]

I’m working on the very same thing. I’m not responsible for their dysfunction. I may have had to be their “mom” and give up just being a kid and a sister but I can choose peace now. They can continue the family dysfunction.

[@goldieh7121]

Yes, the explaining. Narcs seem to ask why we do everything we do. I now notice it with strangers interacting. Now that I've stopped sharing so much with my parents, there is an awkward silence after I've talked, like they are waiting for me to explain more. But, I still have an imaginary running dialogue with people in my head explaining what I'm doing at every moment. Comes from 50 years of thinking I needed to always explain myself. Trying to break that habit.

[@CaseyLee-bd5fi]

Me too. Ugh.

[@okhurricane249]

Yes, the uncomfortable silence after I have given my answer. The short answer they weren’t expecting/baiting for

[@Lyrielonwind]

Same here 😢

[@shawnj-o1k]

PTSD trauma and conditioning is what you're going through I know it well I have broke all contact they just hire hackers and stalkers to illegally keep tabs on their slaves who got away

[@emma24ism]

‘What are you thinking?’ ..constantly!

[@maggiemay8622]

Don’t defend, don’t explain , don’t engage and don’t personalize! Go DEEP! ❤️❤️

[@nicbro3831]

Omg when you said "you'll think maybe, maybe your growth is causing them to grow as well. Nothing could be further from the truth." That line hit me like a brick, its so true. Its a manipulation. I have also just realized it's not that they CANT behave, because they do it all the time to get what they want. Its that they CHOOSE to behave badly. That realization was huge for me. Because no matter how incensed I have been, I have never said anything on the same level as the narcissists in my life. The cruelty is unmatched, and they 100% choose it.

[@Zarathustran]

I remember that moment. I don’t know how many times I thought my dad would pick up on my example if I did the right thing. LMFAO these aren’t people who are capable of seeing integrity as it’s own reward, at least not for themselves. Good luck to you

[@kr4382]

@@Zarathustran Unfortunately, a lot of people in the church are told to do exactly that. To show them how to be decent by example. It is a hateful thing to do to victims just so that it fits their narrow subjective narrative of a book that they do not even live by themselves. If they did, they would protect the weak and victimized. Not tell them to just deal with it bc God wants them to be abused until the complete psychopaths and narcissists learn to be good people (wtaf) disgusting. This is why a lot of horrible people are attracted to the churches bc they not only provide them a cover, and a sympathetic audience, they back them up as they abuse you and tell you you have no right to stand up to your abusers.

[@reginapolo3357]

When I first started listeing to videos like these, my mother most have smell something, because she asked me "in her underhanded way", what I was listening to (she doesn't understand or speak any English). She must have been noticing my change. This happend about 2 years ago. I have freed myself since; and now, I'm living my best life. THANK YOU SO MUCH. For you all....do it NOW. PLEASE PLEASE don't wait until you are on your mid fifties like I was. Love

[@brighteyes4817]

Same here...waited till my 50's. Left the state almost two years ago and now i am piecing myself back together. I blamed myself for years and always thought something was wrong with me. I am having a hard time trusting people because of all the abuse i endured. Never appreciated, never validated, never praised...i was the problem and i believed it. It's been a long journey of self-recovery. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@francoisnel5253]

Mine tells me to stop listening to such content, like they want to remove the tools to save oneself. Sadly I'm in a dependent position.

[@reginapolo3357]

@@francoisnel5253 perhaps you are in a dependant situation because she masterminded it that way. Your other approach should be, to investigate how you an free yourself of that dependency.

[@mariabierman]

Not only am I a scapegoat, I am a Capricorn and born Year of the goat. But now I find out that being ' The GOAT' is a good thing. I finally stood up to my hateful Mother and said, 'You are right. I do think I am better than you. I am kind. I don't talk crap about people. I am not a fake Christian who says they pray all the time but can't say 'I love you' to her only daughter and is a racist. I am finally done. She has her golden child. Peace be with you and may God have mercy on your soul.

[@barlowsmith6242]

My father was a self righteous Narcissist, just a horrible person to be anywhere near - never gave us a dime of support - wants to think of himself as a big family man, but does nothing to gain that status, never have been able to stand him. I have cut him out of my life.

[@revolution5298]

It really puts things into perspective when you learn that narcissism is on the same spectrum as sociopathy and psychopathy.

[@hhptbt]

Man I have a family system (relatives included) full of narcissists. When they realized they cannot control me anymore, they attacked me at full force 😂 poor those miserable souls.

[@helenalovelock1030]

You are probably narcissistic too. What you see in others is a reflection of yourself. It should be a reminder that we project our own thoughts, feelings, and experiences onto others. This means that the things we find attractive, annoying, or repulsive in others are often reflections of our own inner selves. Is the flaw you see outside or in yourself? The law of mirroring establishes that your unconsciousness, aided by the psychological projection that you carry out at the time, makes you think that the flaw you perceive in others only exists ‘out there’, not in yourself. Your whole family is narcissistic but only you are not … really?

[@Lyrielonwind]

​@@helenalovelock1030 Let me guess: New Age pseudoscience? 😂 Lovelock? Find a more cover nickname, it shows. 🤪👻

[@BlazeIsBOSS]

@@helenalovelock1030 tell me youre clueless without saying youre clueless

[@dark7angel456]

Same. Jsut when I thought theyd change. One cousin tries to trigger me with a word that bothers me. She is evil and never did like me. I was quiet when I was younger but they were just annoying. They trigger deliberately and its painful to see them. They are just ugly to me. Smear campaigns and insults out of nowhere. To trigger me into their stupid ugly TRANCE

[@yuvi6881]

Same here lol, like freaking everyone my grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, sister..everyone, ngl as a young child I was too, until I reached teenage hood and realised there's something wrong with me, changed myself for better just to trigger everyone else, now i am the black sheep of the family 😂..

[@CelestialHunter1270]

The gut instinct being overridden by the narcissist's minimizing your feelings, is sooo true! Every time a red flag would appear, I'd think I was being judgemental or paranoid... to my folly😢

[@suzyhomeacre]

Knowing that my adult child will be ok when I pass is one of the most comforting feelings that I, as a mom, could ever have. We want that for our kids. We should! Now, my parents on the other hand are devastated by any gain I make. Emotionally, physically, or financially. Somehow it is a threat to them. They resent me even more, the more I don’t need them in all the ways that they trained me to need them before. Nobody’s “stuff” be it $$, their so called “emotional support” or any toxic time together is worth my peace. I’d rather be alone, loving & rebuilding myself. ☮️ to you all.

[@AnitraJay]

Some similar questions are 'why do you treat me like this?' 'Why do you hate me?' 'Why are you treating me like a stranger?' Anythung that will basically get you to share what parts of their tactics are becoming more clear to you so they can figure out how to adjust the manipulation.

[@artistry.eliana]

100%

[@Otterbandana]

Yup. Or “I assumed you were a loving daughter”….”that you cared” …” etc - goes to how “lonely, alone, like a third wheel, outside of the family, etc” - it’s usually a “feel sorry for me” Combined with a judgement of me not being a loving daughter - blame for her victim status

[@cc967]

My 91 year old mother asked that exact question. She knows I’m on to her. This will never end and I know she will never change.

[@ritahemmerly4224]

When mine asked what i was doing i said studying mental illness and archeology, her answer was what is archeology? Never asked of the mental illness!!!LOL On the other I said digging up old bones, she is 94!!!

[@ريناد-د8ت]

Narcissists do anything but changing

[@netertwentyeight9219]

God bless you forever and always 4 staying the course

[@blas4me50]

You're spot on with everything you said. My mom had me caught in that trap over forty years. I always thought she was poking and inquiring because she wanted to help, but it turns out, it was so she would know when to sabotage. Scary thing was that she was a licensed social worker. I can't see her ever helping anyone, she was very sadistic. She took pleasure in other peoples pain, and you'd see that quick narcissistic grin and the gleam in her eyes when you told her you had a problem, or were suffering from some injury or pain.

[@monikasehgal6055]

Please tell me how should I get my kids from my covert narcissist husband .one is 2year old. Another is 7. I don't want them to be his version.

[@correanne5366]

Ya, my Mum is a Spiritual counselor, yikes...I stopped asking her about my path....an Astrologer too.

[@blas4me50]

@@monikasehgal6055 I would be very careful with that, they will destroy everything or everyone just so you have nothing. They don't bend, break or rust, so there is no winning with them. Keep in mind there's always a threat of violence involved in dealing with this personality. You have to know what kind of narcissist you're dealing with, as they say, there's levels to this s**t. Custody battles can be deadly, seek legal help for your best options. And, I always promote self defense. Get to the range, get a guard dog, put cameras everywhere you can, alarm system, like your preparing for war. If the father is truly narcissistic, then the kids already think your the worse person ever. Trust, they've never heard him say anything positive about you, so find out where you stand with your kids on a personal level first.

[@desmondmitchell5387]

The grin….lawd the narcissistic smirk

[@maribelsantana157]

The day before my wedding my parents asked this same question, this is like a classroom lesson. My answer to what she asked was eventually, “stop acting like you’re interested in my thoughts and in what I have to say”. I told them, you don’t want to know how I feel, you never do. This was a perfect video! Thank you so much!

[@sarahneels4331]

Great answer, how did they reply to that out of curiosity?

[@maribelsantana157]

@@sarahneels4331 they did not know how to reply. The honesty of my statement was dismissed.

[@goldieh7121]

I struggle and my parents are chomping at the bit to save me. Once "saved" they have ammunition to manipulate me. I start to get on my feet and feel better about myself and they find some way to concern on troll me, remind me how they saved me and how much I need them. I got a break from all that when I had my narc ex to "take care of me". Then when I struggled after my divorce, they tried to talk me into moving back to my home state and in with them. " Oh, honey you gave it a good try. We know you want to be independent, we won't tell you what to do. We have it all planned." Ha! I finally had them figured out. I'm still struggling and trying hard to not share much with them, but it's better than being under their thumb, especially at 50...wtf?

[@brighteyes4817]

I tried leaving when i was 18, 20's, 30's and every single time my mom would say...I don't know why you're leaving ...you're not going to make it out there and i believed her so i would come back to hear...i told you so. I finally left in my 50's but this time i left without telling her or my family. I left with nothing but my cloths and some personal stuff. Left and gave away everything. When i got to another state i let them know i left the state. Best thing i could have done. It's been a lonely journey but i have noticed the changes within me. Time to enjoy our 50's and live in peace. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@goldieh7121]

@@brighteyes4817 Congratulations for breaking away, you are so brave! Narcs like to tell us how scary the real world is and how much better it is with them. Unfortunately, they taught me how to see the world in such a skewed way, it is taking me a while to start to see things from a much different perspective. There are two songs that make me think of how my parents and my ex tried to manipulate me. One is "Don't Leave Home" by Dido. The other is "Wild World" by Cat Stevens, from the 70s. Thanks for sharing your story and here's to freedom in our 50s! 😄

[@SpiderSwag720]

@@goldieh7121I know im late but how do you see the world?

[@12himitsu12]

I wish I didn't know what you're talking about because it would mean I was raised in a healthy family but unfirtunately I know exactly what you're talking about With narcissists you cannot let your guard down because they will always use it to destroy you

[@dnk4559]

Yes, gosh it’s taken me so long to face this truth.

[@earthtorobert]

Me too, I'm happy now because there's so many people with worse case of years facing this truth. Now I'm really happy and relieved in my 25 year's old.

[@goodnewsgrace]

It's really just simpler to go no contact, or that's my experience. Having to keep your guard up if like me, you are a natural communicator, can be exhausting. It tends not to work anyway with the worst of the narcs because they can't respect the guard/distance because they have no sense of boundaries.

[@kamroc1]

perfect timing! just experienced this with my narcissistic mom for the gazillionth time. Sadly she has Alzheimer's now but still retains her ability to provoke me. Understanding makes it easier. Thanks Michelle.

[@pault9544]

Yes. I've gotten to this point now where I calmly point out what my mom is doing wrong without overexplaining. And I don't do it because I know she'll change, its for the sake of speaking my truth which I have not been able to do all the years being raised by her. They will try to intimidate you all sorts of ways to get you to react. I've learned how to stay calm outwardly and stand my ground with her.

[@lanag9318]

I agre with you 100% . This is exactly how they are. And they are also very sneaky and underhandesd because they are not sincere they are also sadists who enjoy hurting us as they play on our feelings and they also gaslightlight us .Exactly . Tell them whats hurting you and theyll know your weak spots and tbeyll continue to hurt you because for them, its all about control .Thank you so much fir this., Michelle .🌹💖💖🎉

[@kmwilkerson04]

I am so glad you pointed out the part of someone who is willing to self reflect

[@jengable4888]

I would agree with this for the most part. I think when you are dealing with someone who is actually LEGTIMATE, cares, and is mature, then there is hope for reflection.

[@Shadowman...]

It's almost like there underdeveloped souls stuck in physical bodies ~ and they don't know how to deal with the rest of Humanity

[@floofdragon]

This literally happened to me a few months ago and I wish I had seen this video before I showed all my cards thinking I was going to help someone in need. Boy was I wrong but at least I know for next time! You have been so helpful with these videos, I can't thank you enough!!!

[@danettejones4969]

Holy hell in a hand basket 😳 Soooooooo spot on 🎯

[@creolela]

It took me almost 30 years to realize this is how she is & it won’t change. I can either take it or leave. I don’t fall into her traps anymore I just feel so hurt for her because I wish she was healthy. She live alone and it just break my heart .

[@j_freed]

My adoptive mother was split into two people, sweet as pie mom at times, and cold, callous & emotionally-absent parent whenever it came to putting her (biological) daughter first - her 'golden.child' she actually ruined psychologically. They were both narcs right down to them both lying for decades about how poor mom was so she could give it all to her daughter. I was never after her money. I'm just disappointed in her lack of humane honesty, and the person my sister has become - a cold calculating Narc with serious people-problems. I'm doing OK, and still think I'm the lucky one despite everything. They're fools.

[@Groovytunes96]

I tell my mother as little as possible. Her newest trick is to go on the phone all the while Im at theirs, just speaking about nothing in particular to friends. I work away and im only in my home town for short periods every 6 weeks or so. After half an hour to 45 mins i usually just leave. Ive been on the mobile before and she has taken another call. Rather than tell the person she is on call to me she makes me wait. its a control tactic. Making sure i know im last in pecking order. I work away for this reason. i usually get anxiety when home.

[@synthonaplinth5980]

This happened four months ago with my narc father. He asked me about something in my life and proceeded to make an unfunny joke about it, that is what he has done for years. Boy was he upset when I calmly stated my boundaries, his behavior turned mocking and then to the silent treatment. I calmly got up and said 'Thanks for lunch, I'm taking off' to which he replied 'okay'. The next week there was another hoovering attempt. It didn't work.

[@gwendolynwehage6336]

The day I removed myself from the family system was the freest day of my life. The entire family is narcissistic and when our parents died the narcissistic brothers tried to reconnect with me. They couldn't stand that they had no contact with me and that I had escaped their system. Now they are attempting to influence our adult children to dislike me. The stronger I became because Christ is all I needed, the narcissists got worse in triangulation. They were hoping to poke me through others. I cannot be fooled and have no desire to ever see these people again. If I have to see them I never explain anything to them. They are actually afraid of me, I can see it in their demeanor and facial expressions. They don't know what to do with someone who is unaffected by their nonsense.

[@bballcoach3771]

Hi Michele, Your guidance is awesome! Thank you for teaching us that the narcissist’s poking questions are their insecurities. I’m learning that their gaslighting is also a clue to their insecurities. Thank you!

[@choosejoy93]

WOW!!! This is one of the best videos I have seen of yours Michele...holy moly... I can't tell you how called out I felt when you spoke about over-explaining...omg. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I have explained and re-explained myself to my parents. It is insane. Luckily I have finally come to the point of fully accepting and realizing that I have done more than enough explaining and attempting to level with them in the name of having a civil relationship with them. This video really gave me the boost.of confidence and validation that I still feel myself needing from time to time. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!! 🙌🙌🙌

[@heathersandidge1609]

Yes they weaponize therapy my covert has been in therapy for 40years + and it's just made them better he did these exact moves. Yes yes yes!!!

[@garycordle5295]

Listen to your intuition 👍 up Michelle

[@nicj5354]

Ha! They can't ask me anything, I went no contact 😊

[@TheMaxx111]

Ha! My father would never ask what he is doing wrong or what he could change.

[@margaretsnewtoylynnparks5336]

Over Explaining! Sabotage! Gaslight, repeat!!!!

[@mlscribe7274]

I really needed to hear this because this is exactly what my mother does and it hurts so much

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

It's so sad. why can they never change.

[@tmfpunk]

Currently dealing with this right now! Thank you for covering this topic ❤️

[@TheMoonkelly]

This applies to narc in laws too. They can be terrible

[@markmiller9163]

I used to think there was nothing in my life colder than my mother...then my sister proved me wrong. Two years ago I walked away from my mother, bother and sister. I say let them tear each other apart, I'm out of their childish games.

[@kimberlymccracken747]

Thanks Michele - you have helped me TREMENDOUSLY 💋

[@rhiannonjbaker5047]

Michele you are glowing! Thank you so much for these videos I feel so much relief from this channel. Thank you 😊

[@fettbub92]

Narc parents suck, they helped prepare me for narcissists as an adult, but damn was there damage. My narc parent does very little to reach out, to ask how you are. He thinks that people only care about reward, and thinks he is entitled to the attention of his kids. He doesnt reflect, he always deflects or gets defensive. Doesnt apologize. Doesnt change. Its tough, especially because he has my sister hooked as a minion for now.

[@CC-wy1gn]

Non narcissists also bait you. A person I trusted started asking me all these questions. I hadn’t seen them in a while. Out of nowhere: “I would love to see you reconcile with your parents.” And then all this talk on my past. This friend has now become a flying monkey in the middle of triangulation. No wonder I don’t trust and isolate. Each time I think someone really cares, it’s like the football being pulled out from Charlie Brown. You cannot win in a narcissistic family system!

[@clairebearie87]

Why do parents want to do this to their kids? My dad does it and he's an awful human being at times

[@uyoebyik]

You're spitting facts on this video

[@d.r.q.2032]

IT's great advice, but would have been helpful if you shared some possible responses to say in that situation to not get sucked back in.

[@mama66333]

Yes exactly. I desperately need advice about what to say.

[@bouquet_di_ranuncoli]

Why do the scapegoats have such a good heart?!

[@donnalehman1832]

Wonderful video. Very timely. Thank you very much!

[@snowyowlz5992]

At 2:23 I’ve seen variations on the “double meaning” questions that a narcissist will ask. It could be a healthy innocent question, BUT!!! Be careful when dating someone or family members asking.

[@brotherbruns2989]

Sadly, most narcissists don’t know they are narcissists. Where it is easy to predict the behavior and patterns, it’s nearly impossible to tell the malfeasance of their thought process unless they are cognizant of it and state it.

[@High-on-Infinity-z]

Narcissist people wasted 5 years of my life not anymore .

[@donsmoove3103]

They dont have an conscious!!

[@lamaralvarez7385]

People slanted others in order to protect their own insecurities.

[@rahrahrobbbieee]

Nice. Thank you Michele

[@jupitersrose287]

This channel is truly such a gift for humanity. Thank you!!!

[@coachmark82]

Spot on, appreciate it

[@warrenbradford2597]

"So, Michelle, what do I do that causes our relationship to so challenging? What do I do that's making you pull away from me? I want to have a good relationship with you. Help me understand what I am doing wrong." I understand. Avoid answering your narcissistic parent(s) why are you distancing from him or her. Got it.

[@emilianolopez4289]

uNFORTUNATELY NO AMOUNT OF LEARNING WILL WILL GET MY BEST YEARS BACK

[@kleomenis456]

Don't mind plain and simple. Correct.

[@terridillon3053]

Needed this. Thank you

[@gordonbennett3213]

Instead ask them that very same question, and then gaslight them LOL

[@BBFCCO733]

I noticed that when I get upset at my husband because I catch him acting like a jerk, he gets upset and ends up upsetting me, then when I get angry, he walks away and tells me I need to cool off. I always feel crazy and when I try to explain what he did he says I'm exaggerating and it's not normal that I think this way. If I don't go and try to make things better, he won't speak to me for hours and I end up feeling really upset and unsettled. My father was a narcissist and I am so fed up with this behavior I am trying to change.

[@ginabessie3451]

Gosh, you really are good. I love your vidoes.

[@wanderer7437]

great video, thank u

[@swanzilla1982]

I'm trying to figure out if. My wife is a narcissist Or my C-PTSD brought her to what she did to me

[@leandra4078]

I learnt: If I give someone power over me (trust etc.), the character of the other one gets showed. Same when I stand in my power, don't allow someone to cross my boundaries, don't meet their expectations (no fawn response), I immediately get to know the other person. Meaning: We never cause the behavior of another person. It's the choice of the other person how he/she treated you. The trauma fawn response shows quickly with whom we deal with. The only positive side effect I see therein. Painful. I know very well. I practice the observe, don't react method, self forgiveness, do grounding excercises. I don't give my energy away anymore. I am now budgeting my energy.

[@Zarathustran]

It’s true, the previous commenter’s point that we are all responsible for our own behavior. But to a narcissist your CPTSD is like catnip. Which makes you the mouse.

[@FaithfulandTrue949]

Yes, narcs & sociopaths who've had extensive therapy or counselling are more dangerous, they have extra skills to deceive they talk the talk! Mother Theresa to the world, Freddy Krugar to you and the other scapegoats.

[@gldnsnlt37]

Thank you Michele Lee

[@winsong3]

Wow- goood!

[@SmokeyMcb]

My mother is a Narcissist. It was today that my Narcissistic mother confessed on how much she despises me. On the day when my younger brother died by suicide my Narcissistic mother rejoiced in my younger brother's suicide by saying the words: "I'm glad your brother is dead." My Narcissistic mother now wishes that I was dead too all because I refuse to obey her and deny my Christian faith.

[@AlvinKazu]

When my mother found out (from my father) that I have bad feelings/thoughts, but don't want to act on them, she goes "if you self-deleted you would only do it to spite me!" Then my father said that to me. Then played it off like it wasn't a big deal... IT's fking disgusting how my father oculd act that way. My mother, sure, she's alwys hated me... But my father... so covert.

[@risingeagle6332]

It was waste time to go to counseling or therapy with my wife. The counselor or therapist never successful saw through my narcissistic’s ex-wife’s mask. Every time I always left bewilder and always constantly asking the following question...”What just happened?!”😞

[@emmaevans4919]

My narc mother has turned my family against me. She has played victim lying to my brother where he’s asked her to go home because she’s tried to play victim and tell him I’m abusing her. My brothers and sisters acted like they were her rescuer and said they will drive down to come and get her. My mum wasn’t supporting me at all and she wanted to leave so she doesn’t give me any support what so ever. After this she decided to stay I left and went to my mums where my brother is. When I left and came home my golden child brother accused me of stealing his glasses. Instead of my mum backing me and correcting his subtle sly bullying he brought more for himself and then she said I need you son I care about you I’m going to give you the money for the glasses and when I come home I’m going to buy you some new designer ones. I just ignored their teaming up and scapegoating and didn’t comment they were deliberately having their conversation in front of me by phone so I put my headphones on and played my music cut out that cancerous negativity from my life lol

[@Trapanzano100]

I had 7yrs marriage with a a narcissist. Some how some way, where 5 Yrs Drama. But all the drama was caused from her side (Friends, neighboor, family). I told her many times to pls stop it, and focuse on the family. There was no way... At the end of the marriage she said that she did all this drama, because she was unhappy with me.

[@Blackholefilmss]

this really helped thank you

[@chasebrown7130]

Instead of letting a narc use you just use reverse psychology if you want something tell them you dont want it if you dont want something tell them you do

[@sleepingcinderella]

Thank you for this video ❤️👏

[@latanyaperry9682]

Gets me every single time

[@Angell_Lee]

Thank you so much love xo

[@latanyaperry9682]

So good yet disappointing....but definitely starting to see this.

[@missophelie3781]

Please help me my narcissist mum is making me feel suicidal. Please help me. I no longer know anything

[@mig7290]

Good video. Would a narcissist sometimes give you ridiculous compliments? IE tell you should write a book because you're fairly knowledgeable about something or tell you you should be an actor after you've just lost your temper with them?

[@Swiss-s4b]

I wonder the same as well and sadly they will not mention your actual strengths or praise you on your achievements. I wonder if they deliberately mislead someone to take a wrong path that they probably know is not good for us

[@andrewcheshire244]

I do t know what she’s talking about “you’re more emotionally grounded, more secure…”? Sorry that’s not me. I’m angry af. “Tell my dad I slit his throat, in this dream I had” more like it.

[@jennywrenn469]

What I've learned is to never expose your belly or they will slice it open.

[@jennasparks3404]

Thank you.

[@Flowersgot7]

What’s the right answer for this question???? How can I Avoid it

[@ericxb]

joke is on them. sucks to suck.

[@kilpel2]

This can happen with your kids also.

[@Sickzzy]

I messed this one up

[@nicbro3831]

If you beat your child over putting the laundry in the wrong spot, you might be a narcissist. If you choke your teenage daughter for receiving male attention, you might be a narcissist. If you continue to blame your dead husband years after he has passed, you might be a narcissist (yeah YOU were robbed, Darlene. No matter that you were living across the country and had been for 5 years. I found my dad dead on the ground when I was 20 years old, and YOU were robbed) sorry, lol. I needed to vent.

[@dannimalan666]

❤

[@letsgloww7368]

am going to open a parenting School in future because my parents and toxic and I can relate to this that how every child is screaming inside... Just to educate new couples that how to treat your child so that no more biches can be parent and spoil someone's lives

[@bobmateljan6986]

any way to turn up the volume?

[@Sherlock245]

This is what they do when you don't need them and still live in their home. How dare you ask your boyfriend to take care of the baby!!!!! How can you do this to me!!! Your so rude!! I am the only that should be caring for the baby. I do now allow your boyfriend who a stranger to come in the house!! Your not even married!!!! You better be nice to me child or things will be tougher for you in future!!!!

[@Hilllight]

Hi Michele, can you please tell me at what time (GMT) is the workshop on Saturday?