Scary Guy Sat Under My Window and Stared in | Let's Talk About Setting Boundaries

Hello everyone. Hope all is well. This week, I went through a pretty tough life lesson while living on the road. I decided to channel that negative experience into a learning lesson. In today's video, I wanted to talk about how importance of setting firm boundaries with people and to not let others disturb your peace!
-
Find my blog and informational RV Life information on my website:
www.vannamae.com
IG: @ms.vannamae

[@WisconsinWanderer]

Yes I think it’s weird that someone parks right next to me when there’s all this area to park. I always leave every time to avoid drama 😊thanks

[@wiseasha]

One suggestion. I never park where I have to back out. My vehicle, while I'm camping, is always facing the exit so nothing is blocking me from pulling out. My keys are not in the ignition but in a easy to get place and I am ready to use my alarm system on my fob. Thank you for this video.

[@VannaMae]

That's a great point, thank you!

[@shirleygriffin7672]

True, leave when a person comes too close to you and your personal space. Thanks for the video. Years ago I took the seminar REFUSE TO BE A VICTIM, and it was well worth my time and money I paid to attend. The class was filled with all women, different ages and races......... stay safe always

[@64marikus]

It's like jogging on a treadmill at a gym and somebody starts up a treadmill right beside you, when there's clearly a lot of empty treadmills in the gym... It's like "yo, I know I don't own the gym but damn, can a brother get some space"

[@kareniceland]

Always follow your intuition it is always right. Us, humans often ignore it, cause we don't want to hurt peoples feelings.

[@ManWander]

some folks do not respect personal space - i applaud the way you handled this "violation"

[@LifeBetweenTheDash]

Never give that person the benefit of the doubt. They were playing with you. Glad you followed your instincts and got out of there

[@CathieG]

Yes DEFINITELY listen to your instincts. And if you feel like you don’t have good instincts, just REMOVE yourself from a person or situation. I’ve watched a zillion Forensic Files shows so I’m probably hyper-alert and super-aware. Things are definitely not how they were 20-30 years ago. I’d even take a pic of his car/license plate/ him (without him seeing) and send it to friends and family as a “just in case”. I personally also wouldn’t go outside to ask them if they’re leaving. Especially at night. I’d just move. I don’t want them seeing me and confirming that I’m solo. You can NEVER be too safe. And at the very least, have MACE. God bless & happy travels. Love your channel! 💕💕

[@VannaMae]

Great advice and insight. Thanks so much for sharing!

[@laurar2298]

Good move! (Literally). When in doubt- get the heck out. I always go with my gut.

[@beew290]

Love that

[@andyfox1979]

Even as a man I'd be weirded out by a situation like that. Unless they're assigned camping spots most campers know to keep their distance.

[@Vangela1]

Hey, Vanna this is Angela with the chihuahua. You stopped and spoke to us and were helping us find the lost dog’s owners. That guy was SUPER creepy. So glad I found your channel. I’m back in Minnesota now and it’s cold 😭

[@kellyps2024]

Whats great about what you are sharing is the fact that women, unfortunately, must learn this lesson in life. It is important to be able to say no in any situation in which you don't feel comfortable and sometimes that means saying no to ourselves...when we are second guessing our own instincts. "I am over thinking this." No...usually that is an indication that something does not feel right, I take 3 deep breaths and ask myself, "What is it that I am feeling concerned about?" "I am being too mean, give him/her the benefit of the doubt," No...I'm feeling something here, let's start with giving myself the benefit of the doubt and tap into why I am feeling the way I'm feeling. You ideas sage advice is not just for solo traveling, we need to feel confident about our inner voices in life. A healthy "no" is as important as a mind expanding "yes!"

[@traceywilliams2160]

I don’t think I would have even asked, because he knows the boundaries as well. I would have just bounced.

[@patlynn2418]

Right, you don't know if he was alone...stay safe

[@popstar2257]

Sorry that happened to you! I've had my share of bullies in the desert... You did the right thing, thank you for sharing and giving such great advice.

[@shreddykruegerz659]

Stay safe out there, it is quite odd that they decided to park so close, even when confronted, this person didn't give any reason why they parked beside you. Can't wait for the next video Vanna! Keep them coming.

[@VannaMae]

Well said

[@QueenBaha]

Thanks for making a video. On my experience “no” is a complete sentence…it wasn’t always easy to say no being a former people pleaser however. I developed it as I got older on my continued journey of re-learning how to love myself 💃🏽🌸

[@VannaMae]

Absolutely!

[@KBig-cg6jc]

Really glad that you chose to get out of dodge. Your instincts are there for a reason. Please please consider also not disclosing your location (at least until you leave.) You're doing awesome and I'm happy you were able to maintain your boundaries and understand what was within your realm of control. Love your videos😊

[@VannaMae]

Yep I agree with not disclosing my location. I kept the location vague for that reason.

[@dianeschmiane]

You absolutely did the right thing. It's weird that he chose to park so close, better to move to someplace more private where you can relax more... :)

[@glennarussell4682]

Ohh, setting boundaries. I needed this topic discussed. I am a Christian, and have found myself attending functions, that I don't feel comfortable in, just to spend time with loved ones/family. I'm very interested in exploring ways I can nicely, handle setting such boundaries.

[@leslievalenciano-lopez8887]

Good for you for trusting your instincts. Stay safe, alert and at peace. Wait until after you’ve left your location before you share where you were.

[@Rolling.Solidarity]

So sorry that happened. Definitely sketchy behavior.

[@CindyCaVANas]

While stealth parking, a man jumped into my van drivers seat at 2am. I jumped outta bed yelling WTH!!! GET OUT GET THE f OUT! He was weeping about the getting out of the rain...I was so mad, I had no time to be frightened. But it did bother me for some time. I always double check my locks now. I'm in the process of getting more locks installed. 🙄 apparently he must have been going car to car to find an open one. Thanks for sharing your experience. 🙋‍♀

[@kemi1486]

Oh my! Glad you’re okay. Sounds frightening. He had a lot of nerve talking about he needed to get out of the rain. Just wow!

[@CindyCaVANas]

@@kemi1486 I know right! I had so many defense tools and never even thought of using them.

[@Hard_Car_Life]

Another way of getting rid of unwanted interference from a stranger getting too close for comfort is to act crazy, insane. It's easier to do when you're much older. When you're young, you want to be seen as someone who is intelligent, grounded, and cool. But when you get into your 50's, all that goes out the window when you feel unsafe. I would have easily got rid of that guy by simply standing outside my rig and talked to somebody that's not there. I would have gone into my rig and been loud enough for them to hear different voices arguing. I would have strapped on my gun and gone for a jog in a big circle around both his and my rig, flapping my arms as if I would fly away. It would have completely put him off and he would have gotten back into his rig and drove off quite quickly. I was just watching a video of a young girl who lives in her van, get a visit from an old guy on an ATV, who claimed he was giving water to people staying in the desert. He had no water on the AtV. He invited her to take a shower in his house. All the while, she was sweet and nice to him and declined his offer. He left but came back, harassing her by just staring at her while on his ATV and telling her that someone was watching her thru binoculars. She had to pack up and quickly left the area. I would have treasted that situation so much differently by scaring the shit out of him by acting insane! People do NOT want to be near anyone who seems insane, and I highly recommend young women learn how to do it to live safely on the road. Recommendation:. When the intruder is trying to get your attention by telling you he's there to "help" you if he can, open your eyes real big and look past him. Say "did you see that?! When he turns to look, start yelling "You get outta here bigfoot! I see you hiding behind that tree! I got my shotgun and I'ma coming for ya tonight you son of a bitch"! Keep your eyes wide and look back at your intruder and say, "you see em? You see em?!" Believe me when I tell you, acting insane will make them move on pretty fast. You're welcome!

[@serenityjewel]

I'm the same way. The desert, parking lots, and other free spaces don't belong to anyone so trying to dictate where other people can park or what other people can do in those spaces is ego and a need to be right. I'm not fighting for anything that doesn't belong to me. I would have told him I wasn't comfortable with how close he parked because that's my truth and people have different concepts of personal space, but if he didn't care or didn't move, I would have left. And it's not even out of fear for my safety because I'm rarely scared of people - I was raised by violent criminals, been on my own since 17, served 5 years in the Army, helped teach a concealed carry class, practiced martial arts for years, and completed numerous self defense courses. It's because I validate my own existence, I give myself respect, and I know everybody is doing the very best they can in any given moment, even if their best sucks. Plus life is short, the people in my family die young - oldest sister died of cancer at 31, niece just survived cancer at 27, mom died of cancer at 57, the list goes on and on - so anything that doesn't affect my breathing just isn't that important to me.

[@milapiedra]

Good for you for being intuitive and knowing when it’s time to get up and go. It’s all about be safe and keeping alert while still enjoying the nomad life. You prayed about it and did your breathing exercises to help get you back in balance. I love that you understand the importance of self care and maintaining your energy so that you can be happy and fulfilled. Much love to you.

[@blessedveteran]

I just saw your home tour video on Bob's channel and subscribed. I too am a solo female traveler. You have a great set up. I might be switching over to a similar RV type vehicle and thought checking out how you are still doing with it would be helpful. I look forward to watching more videos from you. Safe travels, my new friend. By the way, you made the right choice, you should be proud of yourself.

[@FunnyMemo]

Yes I totally agree with you about defusing the situation. Take care.

[@sarahbyrd772]

You did the right thing. He may have been watching you. Your intuition works. Stay safe at all cost.

[@deborahk7667]

Good for you .. trust your inner voice. Leaving that spot was absolutely the right thing to do. So glad you are safe my dear..

[@debraharris2472]

Praying for your safety and alertness. Thanks for sharing.

[@stevesobiech2626]

With all the space available that’s creepy to park so close to you. You did the correct thing just move.

[@outdoorman7425]

Thank you for sharing this experience; I think you did the right thing in leaving because this was too weird/creepy to be innocent of bad intentions on that guys part. Also, I like hearing about the 'mirror talk', I can see how this can be very useful in situations where you do need to confront someone who makes you feel uncomfortable.

[@shannonkringen]

Self respect I agree

[@cwstyle3]

Amen. Well said. 😊🙏🏼

[@margaretgosnell8281]

Always go with your gut instinct. Good for you.

[@barbarawhittall2311]

Excellent advice for all no matter where you live was happy you were safe thank God

[@mannyc19]

This is the second time I've written a comment (KZbin did not like my comment,I guess, because as I tryed to post my comment, the other video came up,man that bugs me) Anyhow, I just wanted to thank you as others have, for this video, we all need to be reminded that we live in difficult times, and we must be mindful of everything around us not be afraid but refresh our mind and spirit in all we do.God bless you abundantly in all you endeavers!

[@gavinsnana]

I just saw your interview and tour on GLOW! You are a wonderful interviewee. So informative, the epitome of doing your home work and paying attention to details. I’m subscribing to your channel right now. How do I find you on Etsy. I want to buy a mug. They’re beautiful!

[@nathanielbrown1715]

Yeah I hear you stay safe comes first you did the right thing

[@serenasams2772]

You did the right thing next time leave bc your in high risk situation. Nothing else worth it don't give them benefit leave already disrespectful. Your sweet but keep your wits about you ❤

[@shelleywalker6225]

Good to see you again Vanna, great video/advice. You made a wise decision to move. Someone intentionally parking that close to you on BLM land is not likely to adhere to norms of decency and conventionality. A confrontation would likely not end well. I will check out your website. Looking forward to your intended video. I love that you closed out your video with the lovely Indigo.

[@VannaMae]

Thanks so much Shelly! Hope you are well. I feel like I did the right thing moving away from that area. Thanks for checking out my website, I'll be posting my Newsletter this weekend ☺️

[@sct4040]

Better to park closer to people you know for your safety. Absolutely you are correct not to argue with a stranger.

[@ouijim]

Freaky stuff that keeps me away from van travel but I watch videos and want to try it : ( For Battery backup I got Bluetti EB3A which uses LiFePO4 Battery Technology. I think you are right to avoid contact and just move on to safe place. Thank You for sharing.

[@rustykatt3870]

Yes...! 😀👍

[@mnnomad1870]

Hey hope all is well following you're scary encounter😮 Wondering what size is your Jackery and can you use it to run your rice cooker? Thanks stay safe out there🦃

[@AnasAdventures111]

New subscriber here. Small world. I believe I just saw you recently at the same laundrymat. We were parked right next to each other. What’s weird is when I saw you I literally thought to myself “I wonder if she is a KZbinr” It was just a random thought and so I just dismissed it. I remember the name majestic because that keeps getting highlighted to me. Then just now your video popped up as a suggested watch. What are the odds? Again I’m not 100% that was you and I don’t want to say where I saw you because I don’t want to give away your location. But it was about a week ago. Anyways I look forward to watching your videos. If you are the same gal I just remember you carried a very sweet spirit on you.

[@martna1]

Better to be safe than sorry.

[@cedropowell5957]

So I'm sorry for what happened to you in that experience. Sometimes we can't overthink things and don't give it enough thought at all.. so I'm sure you made the best choice for.. please stay safe and all that you do.. I can kind of understand how you feel. Because I am a truck driver. And some of the places I go to I don't feel comfortable.. but I always say a prayer and talk to the Lord and allow him to protect me but I also use the common sense as well as the holy Spirit that he gave me.. so just keep your head up as well as your boyfriend if you can figure that out "😜

[@michaeladodsworth2749]

I would love to know what kind of portable generator you are using?

[@thetwinspuppetshow71]

Girl Dr. Phil said NEVER NEVER give anyone the benefit of doubt, u will be WRONG EVERY TIME!!!! U did the RIGHT THING!!!!

[@brunobrunosjourney9944]

🔥 ❤

[@kimwakefield5147]

That’s my smart niece ❤

[@BibleSamurai]

nope. NEVER give anyone the benefit of the doubt. ppl suck as their default. nice ppl are the exception.

[@LivingTheLifeIImagined]

Did you change your Jackery? That looks like a smaller version than the one you had prior. Situational awareness is very important. Stay safe out there. Blessings to you!!!

[@VannaMae]

Hey. So I have two now. I actually one the smaller one on Jackery.com website

[@Jimmy_Jim_Jim_1234]

Always trust your "gut". It will never lie.

[@VannaMae]

Definitely

[@rebeccaswilling1771]

Sounds like that guy was a weirdo. He was definitely up to no good. You did the right thing by moving

[@jmuhammad2602]

Make Sure You Get Firearm Training. Conceal and carry. I don't know what state you live in but you have a right to Protect yourself. Safe Journeys.

[@Prattmary]

So true; I would have moved also as a Female

[@monicalifornia_]

Nomads are pretty aware we can’t “claim” any spots. Thank goodness we can just move on. Folks invading our space is just part of the life. 😢

[@larkbrinkley3584]

Sorry that happened, but the plus side is that we now know RVer's have a comfort zone. From the outside looking in; seeing somebody living in a mobile home you would think they wouldn't have issues with people violating their personal space given the circumstances, but they want there privacy like the rest of us. Ive heard horror stories of people sticking there head in the door because its open(van), and start asking questions. Not realizing that the door being open wasn't a invite, but a way of having more space. While at the same time them not realizing that they are not sticking there head in your car door, but actually sticking there head in your home(totally different response).

[@VannaMae]

Thanks for sharing your perspective.

[@CatzzMoney]

How much one of these VR cause?

[@GuitarGangsterArmi]

You should’ve ran outside and yelled “GET OUTTAHHH HERE!!!!!!”

[@williejones3306]

YEP.

[@angiloves]

Nope your safety comes first. As the MFM Fandom says Fuk politeness. You be safe if that means leaving then leave. You don't have to have a confrontation. Remove yourself from the space. I'm full on self defense supportive in all its forms. I'd rather you be safe. And if leaving is it then do it. Shame on that guy for invading your space. Some people are just so rude.

[@beew290]

I had a man at night approach me getting out of my vehicle, asking me for a cigarette. I told him I don't t smoke, he kept coming, I had a bag of canned tomatoes in my hand. I just wrapped the handle right around my hand and told him to go. He did

[@VannaMae]

Oh jeeze. That's intense, especially when you already said no. I'm glad he left you alone after that. Stay safe out there!

[@wiseasha]

Just curious, do you feel the need to pull a vehicle?

[@VannaMae]

Hey. No, having an ebike is enough

[@ronconley9803]

You made the right decision. It's not like you can call your man to handle it. Stay safe and always be careful. I love what you are doing and one day I'll be there. Maybe when that day comes I'll be your protector. Lol.

[@raggedyvandyroadshow455]

I'm confused. The title says he sat under your window and stared in. But you dont say he did that in your video. You say he pulled up close and parked ( creepy enough) I'm just confused about that part...? ( fyi I would've moved too. Glad you're ok.

[@VannaMae]

He put is chair facing close to my window and stared in.

[@ceruleanelectricthrone485]

Buy a power tool

[@cherokeegrandma4135]

Honestly it almost sounds like he’s done this before to solo females to push them out of the spot he wants 🤔 I mean Of you already have a fire 🔥 pit set up, a level area AND a nice camp spot to boot then you’ve done all the work for him all he has to do is PUSH YOU OUT !! Also, he probably figures a solo female camper out on slightly Isolated “Or Isolated” BLM LAND for that matter !! Would much rather just move & let him have the spot then confront him & try to get him to move?🫤 What a Manipulating “SOB” 😡😡 I’m so glad you decided to move & get the Hell out of there!! I can’t even imagine 😢that must of been so scary 😥😥 If I were you I would mention to other solo Female (&men) Campers, Camp Circles, Camp Site Managers & Even Rangers About His Behavior & SPREAD THE WORD As You Travel From State To State!! If you think about it 🤔that’s really “ Odd Passive Aggressive Behavior” and you just never know not only what it could lead to but also what ITS ALREADY LEAD TO That either hasn’t been reported or has been reported in another state ?? Who knows they could be looking for him? You might be surprised & run into someone that dealt with him “ BEFORE”!! 😳😟 Yeah, the more I think about the more Aggressive it sounds especially when you confronted him & asked him if he was Staying & HE SAID “ YES”!! At that point he knew you were uncomfortable w/ him being there especially so close!! YEAH, Sweetie REPORT THAT S@B !! BTW I followed you over from ….. My Glorious Life On Wheels Van Tours 👍🏼 I gotta tell ya your Van Is Not ONLY BEAUTIFUL But Looks So COMFY 🤗 🥰 GOOD JOB 👍🏼 Not just with the Decor But w/ the whole thought process about where you got it how you chose it and the deal that came with it 👏👍🏼 I’m telling ya .. YOU ARE ONE INTELLIGENT LADY 🥰👍🏼 Be Careful out there & Blessings to you my Sweet Girl Cherokeegramma 🪶♥️🥰 😉

[@tednguyen7258]

great communicator

[@VannaMae]

Thank you!

[@Israel777]

Get you a couple of weapons and hide them around your space! Don’t wait till something pop off then you left with regret. Your a woman that travel alone so don’t be delusional or naive.

[@traceywilliams2160]

VERY TRUE! I wouldn’t even start boondocking UNTIL I got some weapons! I’m good now!

[@shelleywalker6225]

In an earlier video, as I recall, she stated that she had protection and knew how to use it.

[@CarlaRFowler]

It’s best to trust you intuition save your own life… Be Safe🙏🏾❤️‍🩹

[@VannaMae]

Thank you. I will ❤️

[@comealongwithceceadverture1544]

Hello hello from Cali 🤗🐕‍🦺🦮🐕‍🦺🦮🐩 you did the right thing move Princess this happened to Glorious she as well a KZbinr on BLM land