schizophrenia and self inflicted rejection

[@mkwax-q1c]

I'm just a 58 yr. old grey haired lady with arthritis and i stay in my apartment because i can't walk down the stairs very well. But socially, you seem to have alot to offer. I bet your peers would be thrilled to have you as company and you could tell them all about your difficulties. I'm sure they would be very interested. Scizophrenia is a serious illness but it is also very interesting and people are sympathetic. You'll see. You have alot of KZbinrs responding i see. Keep up the good work with the videos! You're on the right track. I have scizoaffective disorder and i might even try that myself- making a few videos. You are a very inspiring young man!💯

[@nztgadapt3777]

Im glad you think schizophrenia is interesting because I do to, I used to have severe anxiety but I got diagnosed with drug induced psychosis and I kept smoking for 2 years as I believed it was interesting but I also felt going in and out of it would make me stronger and it did. My anxiety was based on what others thought about me and the voices judged me over and over so it was basically exposure therapy which got rid of anxiety. But I believe this happened because the more I went into it the more my emotions were getting manipulated so I instinctively became detached more when I smoked often.

[@mkwax-q1c]

@@nztgadapt3777 So you became immune to the voices judging you? The psychosis in effect. That is interesting.

[@nztgadapt3777]

@@mkwax-q1c Yeah mines induced so I exposed myself to it coming out of it after a few hours and got stronger from repeatedly doing it I just had to get out of my First Episode Psychosis which made me more delusional because of the stronger hallucinations but the more I induced it after my first episode the more psychosis changed to get in my head again.

[@R3g4d3s]

Love you ❤

[@mkwax-q1c]

@@R3g4d3s ❤

[@NafiNowsin]

Your self awareness is absaloutely impeccable. You’re so well articulated and eloquent. I admire that so much. Although I personally am not scrizophrenic, but someone close to me is and I too suffer from multipule mental illnesses that need to be managed with meds. And have multipule mental insitution admissions myself. What i’ve learned is that YOU ARE NOT your mental illness nor your experiences and traumas. It is a part of you, but it is not you. It does not define you. I wish I could say more, but I too struggle in self isolation and pushing people away. I genuinely am sending so much love, heart, and prayers your way. Bless your heart❤

[@assumptaai]

Hey Rain this is such an important video you've made here. Stuck, sad and literally friendless hit home, I am AuDHD and have to socially isolate when I hit burnout. I just cut everyone out my life in February and have been isolating ever since. I've also had periods of psychosis bought on by severe stress in big cities, so now I feel like I have to manage my stress levels by being in nature a lot more and socially isolating. It's not easy being born into a neurodiverse brain and body. I hope you know you aren't alone + that you have people rooting for you and here to support you if you need. Something that's really helped me has been getting into plants (gardening, growing plants and caring for them is the most healing experience and they never stress you out like people might). Plant people are generally pretty sensitive and more introverted so it's even a cool way to meet friends.

[@gabrielehoxhallari3837]

stay strong brother, I know it's hard. I had a friend who cut me off 2 and a half years ago because of his schizophrenia, I remember I was very sad, I always liked his presence (maybe I wanted him more than just a friend), but over time I always tried to have contact with him and make sure he is okay. and suddenly in November 2023 I met him again in a meeting, and started talking to him again, and now we continue to see each other sometimes, I'm happy that I never gave up on him, all the time I waited was worth it. So I suggest you explain to your friends what you are going through, I'm sure most of them will be happy to hear about you and will understand. seeking help is NORMAL, we all make a decision and regret it.

[@jimbo113]

They're generally not, I'm diagnosed@unendingpinelate940

[@JeanaSimkins]

I dont like social media either. i hate how its made our society basing everything on appearances, our looks.. the more beautiful you are, the more recognized you r and less likely to be ignored or dismissed. I have body dismorphic disorder really bad so its hard for me to be around people since I am considered ugly to society.. i isolate myself. I haven't left my house in months. It's hard.. It's very difficult and depressing. I feel as if the world is going on without me most of the time,. i am truly so isolated. I do have my mom but and its easy to want give up most of the time. Seeing your videos has given me hope. I didn't realize the number of people in similar situations regardless of the reasons . thank you for posting your videos. I stumbled across your channel, and i like to think it wasn't because of an algorithm. I truly believe you're helping others going through the same thing or something similar. Its a new year so maybe it will be a better one for us. Thanks and much love ❤

[@caiohaeming1847]

Rain, I’ve had a psychotic break 2 years ago, and this has been by far the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with, I am also on anti psychotic medication, currently I can’t feel absolutely anything, not even love for my loved ones, it’s extremely hard to live life this way, I used to be a very sensitive person and In tune with my feelings and emotions, now I am just trying to survive one day at a time. I can see that you still have feelings and you have no idea how important this is. I think that realising that you’re not your thoughts/mind, but actually the concioussness that observes your thoughts can truly help you. You are a beautiful soul, and you’re helping so many people by sharing this! You’re not alone! We’re all in this together. If you’d like to chat sometime I am here for you.

[@Kitimino]

I relate to everything said in this video down to a T. The paranoia, the cutting people off, the loneliness, and the dislike for the mental illness trends on social media. It sucks dude, but I'm so glad I found your channel. Finally someone who articulates what I've been feeling for so long. I like that you're so genuine. It's so hard to find people like that nowadays. I love people who embrace their awkwardness. Everyone is so manufactured and judgmental these days, probably due to social media, which I'm also really starting to hate. I hope things get better for you. Mental illness sucks

[@AmbrociousXP]

I used to be on medications for my mental health issues. It took me a LONG time to get off the meds completely, even had doctors told me that I would NEVER be able to get off the pills. Eventually I DID get off the pills and my mind actually kind of cleared up for the most part. It's still a struggle but after having seen several of your vids, I believe in you bud. I don't know you but I want to say I love ya bro. Life is a big adventure and it takes time to heal but just know that you CAN heal and keep on going forward.

[@suesunshine444]

I’m a mental health Peer Specialist. Have you considered finding Peer Specialist groups to join? There must be a Mental Health Association in your state that can help you find some great online resources. Now, YOU are NOT schizophrenia. You have a DIAGNOSIS of a brain illness that is labeled schizophrenia. You my friend are an amazing speaker with so much clarity, heart, emotion and kindness. I’m going to be 60 in April, listen, you keep being YOU boo! People have come and gone in my life also for many interesting reasons. I finally realized that I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO MATTERS. Keep this up, I bet you don’t even know how many people your helping that can’t put their feelings into words so eloquently ❤I look forward to more content ❤

[@sonnie8966]

this may just sound like rhetoric, but something that i think is SO important for every single person to remember is that it gets better. maybe not now, maybe not for years, but it will inevitably get better, even if sometimes it feels impossible. you will get through this. it’s gonna be hard and it’s gonna suck for as long as it will, but in 5 years time i wholeheartedly believe that you will look back and find yourself in a better place. stay strong.

[@sonnie8966]

if you ever want someone to talk to, I’d love to reach out to you.

[@matchbox2.0]

Eyes like a husky

[@helenmoon7914]

❤

[@Screamingforvengeancee]

😅❤

[@rebbouhhind2580]

More like a wolf. A lone wolf.

[@firstnamelastname6808]

Lonewolf ❤

[@chickenman22710]

you people are sick. romanticizing someone in pain.

[@DeadlyD.]

Bro life sounds exactly like mine

[@munashemanamike4217]

Lol same

[@gfullcrayon562]

But ugly

[@andrea3u3u]

Difference is people will keep coming for him

[@keikoterry297]

Hey, Rain. You probably won't ever read this, I'm sure it'll get buried. I recently found your video on social isolation while i was in a very dark head space. I've very quickly found solace in your talks. Or really, in the portrait you paint with them. Youve got an enchanting way with words. You string them together like brush strokes on a canvas. You remind me of the parts of myself that I often forget exist, the parts of me that I actually like. Your thoughts are truly your own. Listening to you explain your individual perspectives on the world around you--it makes something inside of my chest feel bubbly. Its a very peculiar feeling but its one I welcome. Something I've observed about you *quite* piques my fascination. That is the subtle but *noteworthy* juxtaposition within your mind, against itself. . you carry yourself with confidence and you are always sure about what you're saying before you say it. And yet despite this confident display, when you start to *describe yourself*-- your typical word craft fades into the background, and you become blunt and cold in your word choice. I *would* ask why it is--you can speak of the rest of the world as though it is living poetry, storybooks, fairytales--yet when you describe yourself, you speak as blandly and blatantly as though you were writing in binary code. I think I understand it though... I have painted all my life, but the one thing I can never *remotely* manage to paint is myself. I hope you don't see yourself as your flaws personified, or as your mistakes and falls, because that is NOT who you are. You are special, I believe that truly. If you're still looking for a friend, I hope this finds you. I would love to get the chance to talk with you. You seem very different, in the best of ways. Even the "flaws" that you have been kind enough to share with us, I think you wear them well. I'm an artist, and one of the fundamental principles of painting is the idea that you must use *both* light and dark together to create depth. With just one or the other, there can be no perspective. -Keiko💜💫

[@terahtricia]

i agree 100% abt your comment on mental illnesses. 💗your family sticks by you because they genuinely love you. not because they’re obligated ♥️

[@Emma_Sooo]

I am so sorry you are experiencing pain and stress. I have mental health challenges too, but I am trying my best to not let it define me. and PLEASE KNOW you are not alone, even when you are completely alone in your bedroom. We are all with you.

[@thinkingthroughsomestuff]

Hello Rain. I came across your channel when I was looking up tips for coping with my social isolation. I was diagnosed with Asperger's as a child, and this disorder made me an outcast. I struggle with forming deep and meaningful friendships, my own family thinks that I hate them, and I am treated as a freak whereever I go. I deeply relate to your struggle and anguish, and I hope that you recover soon. May god bless you.

[@its3amandilostmypassword]

Awwww I just want to give u a hug

[@victoryT_T]

awwww 🥺😹

[@Sevse-nh3fi]

Im in a similar position. Im taking it slow and learning to interact on a vague, community level. Like talking to cashiers, talking to people at the library, going to community events, etc. humanity can be beautiful even if it is from afar. I spend a lot of time at the park too, but sometimes? I see people and families. Im jealous but, sometimes their interactions are very cute.

[@gourmettoast1278]

Hope things become better, Rain. Dealing with a mental illness and how it affects your social life sounds so complex. You are battling it the best way you can and people are hearing you out everywhere. I have been dealing with social isolation for years and due to my upbringing being a factor, it’s affected my perception of social relationships severely. Trying to repair it is hard. You are brave for being vulnerable to strangers online

[@xantonette]

i’ve done a lot of research on schizophrenia for creative purposes, and it truly is a scary thing. i really hope you’re doing better now. also, if that project is the only thing keeping you going, let it make you hopeful for when you can share it.

[@brub_wrpf]

turn that feeling of being stuck into being free, try to look for the best and accept being yourself

[@MisterDawn-p1x]

I do better alone. I've always been left disappointed by friends & my past relationships with women. There are times that I felt horrible for not having better social skills, but when I start hanging around people I then begin wanting to run away and do my own thing. So I'm still working on accepting that I'll never have any productive friendships or relationships for the reason that I have an inability to build on those things.

[@1copperpiece]

hey brother, I felt what you are going through and while it may be hard to picture it, the fact that you are aware of and can articulate your feelings is a huge win. give yourself time. I went through extreme paranoia and slowly I put myself into scary situations to realise that I was safe. this is a scalable measure and really needs time and allowing yourself grace to progress slowly. and also self isolation can be fuelled by negative experiences in a handful of relationships that we use to justify why we shouldn't interact with the world but that's exactly what we need. understand that the people who you had those strained relationships with are not your enemies and are also going through their own experiences. I don't know your situation bro but if you have one person irl that you can interact with it's a great place to start. but even if you don't I'm proud of you for expressing yourself here because all of us watchers, commenters and subscribers are in your corner brother. best wishes to you on your journey. you will be great

[@Untflagamoose]

Im so glad you share these videos bro. I might not know you, but just listening to you has been a blessing. Not trying to ride your sadness to my own happiness, but knowing im not the only one stuck in this situation. Sucks knowing I also caused this to myself. I appreciate you and your courage to be this open online

[@richardgardner1547]

Society uses isolating like a weapon. If someone behaves independently, they are shunned. I have been alone for decades. It does not bother me because when I tried to make certain friends, or even just coexist in the same community, I was made to regret it. Build hobbies, read books, use alone time. You can be your own success without others approval.

[@dominicaaaaa5547]

Best of luck to you man my friend was diagnosed schizophrenic in 2022 and is still struggling a lot. After lots of research online though which you may or may not have done (he hasn't at all and doesn't feel ready to) it often takes several years to get into a good place and to be on the right meds etc. so yes please keep hope during the low times ⭐

[@AbdeenzRock]

this guys is a realist I could tell he knows his flaws and has high consciousness. he admits t himself in within that he knows what he does is false. that is mad respect. as long as he has that skill through his life he is good to go. now in that sense, but in the sense of being sane. because neglecting own consciousness regarding these subjects will inflict a shadow on your soul that you no longer see your flaws and therefore conintue acting open them without knowing them being false. and THAT is the worst, I wouldn't wish it upon anybody at ALL.

[@im_your_gothangelsinner2646]

Stay strong, I’m sure you’re gonna make friends you seem like a really nice guy

[@Carter9007]

you're like myself before I made that decision. I want to burn all my bridges so badly but I haven't done so yet, this is incredibly eye-opening. You are soooo rare man.

[@A.spennnnn]

I feel your pain, just know that you are not alone as you think or feel you are. Feel this shit out, we will all get thru it man

[@Anyaunh-sb7nm]

No mistake is unfixable or at least can be compensated for. Take care of yourself we love you!! It’s not impossible to reconnect with people, maybe try explaining what’s happening to them they will get it hopefully. Family is really important too in times like this, you aren’t just an obligation I’m sure they care for youu.

[@Spasiboy]

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

[@CC_Cley]

3:47 you are totally right. The number of mental illnesses has indeed increased in recent years. But i know what u mean, There are a lot of people out there, who try to turn a depressive mood or an identity crisis into a kind of aesthetic. Accompanied by pseudo-deep tiktoks with Mr.Kitty music, to feel special If you really have mental problems, you suffer extremely. Especially for not fitting into society. You don't want to be special, you just wish you were normal.

[@Randomly.assembled.molecules]

This mf all they want is attention and some cheap empathy and don't understand about how others are suffering who is actually going through

[@visualsick]

god this is so true, it's like they try to glamorize it somehow idk

[@blockedhaat]

This dude is literally me, I didn't know other people thought like this

[@Ardianih]

Your thinking pattern is extremely self-reflected and honest. Your brain works really well for you to be able to articulate yourself like you do. I think if you started to train your body intensively, you could master your brain and take full advantage of all the goood sides of it. Dramatically increasing your muscle usage will improve your blood flow, energy levels, hormonal levels, and that will make your burden 10x lighter and your strenghts 10x stronger. It would take you 2 years of pushing yourself to your limits physically 3-4 times a week, if possible even more. Thats what helped me finding my will to live again. The good thing about training is that you can do it alone and its even more enjoyable and productive alone. You are definitely on the right track using KZbin to get out of your situation, you love yourself and want yourself to live, that is fucking great! I know for sure you will grow stronger and better and one day be able to perfectly easily handle every social interaction. Training your body for 2 years will give you physical changes that will make you be perceived differently by people. They will respect you more, you will respect them more. You will be able to see bullshit and completely ignore it, you will be able to see every flaw and still also see the good little things. Trust me, physically activating your body as extremely as possible will bring out all the best of you.

[@katie_seyward]

I'm well into my 30s and have finally experienced aloneness for the first time in my life within the last few years. I relate with you in so many ways! It gets to a point where you really do feel like you're never going to be able to be social or trusting or even enjoy not being alone, yet you don't like being alone... ive always been a very codependent person, having a partner, now being codependent on myself and getting so bored with myself 😅💜

[@ellapearson5020]

I felt and resonate with this so much, it is so hard honestly. You shouldn’t feel bad for that, you’re trying which is all that matters. I’m here if anyone needs someone :) you’re not alone.

[@Bleu-en2bf]

I feel your pain, I've been there. I suffer from serious OCD and it gets very scary at times. I love philosophy and art. I'm not comfortable with religion, but I've decided to learn how to pray because it can give me peace of mind. 'If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him'. ~Voltaire

[@jevitofangazine]

Im very sorry my friend, i know exactly what you feel, even if you dont know what you feel, im with you, we are strong, give you some time, dont push yourself

[@DandyHippo]

Bro have you found any peers through youtube? You should and will and also should bring people together. You the chosen one

[@JillRobertsIsmyGF]

"I just want to know you, I just want to know who you are."

[@Sevse-nh3fi]

I also relate to wanting to “integrate into society” I have always phrased it that way, it isnt even reintegration for me- I was never a “part” of society in the first place

[@justsomerandompenguinwitha9650]

You're not alone bro we're gonna get through this together

[@victoryT_T]

yes we are 🥺😌

[@hadesbird]

You're a beautiful person, I send you a lot of support, love. I understand your pain, I deal with a lot of loneliness and mental struggles as well and can truly relate. It would be a worse place here without people like you are. You're not alone, we are here all - silently suffering together. xxx

[@Ofthevalleyofthewind]

all the love and warm energy sending towards you rn. You deserve peace

[@twanli]

i feel for you bro. u are not alone

[@djillusii7333]

I’m schizophrenic too and pushed everyone out of my life except family. I’m so thankful that meds helped me a lot. Maybe u just need to try different kinds of meds

[@01xmidhat11]

Stuck, sad and literally friendless. Same here. But i will not give up on life. I will keep trying and so will you sir.

[@skyewaterland1223]

i would love to be friends with you rain :,) you seem like a genuinely good person

[@victoryT_T]

Are YOU a good person? I'm curious

[@ellissa-fg7xs]

Your not alone rain you might feel like you are but so many people care for you and you will find people throughout life that you truly connect with and just think of this point in your life as a new start or a time to rediscover what your looking for in life hope this helps we all love you 💕

[@kainzol1638]

hey, just want you to know that you can always begin again each day and that there are many people out there who you don’t know yet to whom you can connect! ik these platitudes sound boring but i’m guessing by now you too have realized that these obvious things everybody says since the dawn of time actually hold deep truths. idk if you ever tried psychoanalysis but i think that this “talking cure” really can change lives! me and many others are also struggling but the task is to just keep going and trying to get rid of guilt and shame. sending love! (ps: if you can, read “agua viva” by clarice lispector, it’s a gamechanger)

[@raymondjohnson5459]

Love you bro. Thank you for sharing ❤️

[@01xmidhat11]

Man, i cried when you started apologising.. i feel you bro. I am here for you as a friend. You are not alone. Let me know how we can connect.

[@crystalbloodlikeadreamtrue]

I feel safe here to say this, your channel has helped me so much in like the two weeks since ive found it😭 I haven’t talked to a single person that isn’t my family in two years and it’s draining me so SO bad, I know it was me that pushed everyone away but for some reason, but there literally was nobody to even push away because I talked to like two people at the time. I feel just so not even embarrassed but mortified to even talk to someone. It makes me feel so small and embarrased just thinking about talking to someone because I haven’t spoken to a real person my age since January 2023. I got so awkward around people I stopped going to school for a year and now I’m dumb as fuck with no friends, I had to redo a grade and I spend my day alone in the office or at home literally rotting, with nobody to talk to. I spent the better part of a year realizing that I’m literally fully in charge of my life, and I’ve already fucked it up this bad so I’m scared to my core about the future. This is such a dumb rant but I literally don’t have a soul to tell this to soz😭🫶

[@christamc7876]

Omg i made the same mistake, i pushed everyone away because even my friends started to make me anxious😢 i am in similar situation. I thought i would feel better if everyone was gone but it made me go crazy

[@victoryT_T]

Why would your friends make you anxious ?😿

[@okbye4552]

same, one of my biggest regrets. I ghosted my only friends.

[@victoryT_T]

@@okbye4552 why y do that

[@NoobyNick0710]

@@victoryT_T they likely betrayed their trust in a way that seemed otherwise innocuous to them, but not whoever was affected.

[@victoryT_T]

@ I'm not sure I understand ^^

[@JohnHoins]

I’m John. I’m in a similar situation. Same diagnoses, similar meds. I am prone to yelling at myself or to anything. I also don’t handle it well. But I promise you there is a silver lining. Good luck.

[@dvillalva21]

that's tough man but i relate. I just try my best to learn stuff (leverage knowledge) and offer value by teaching people things (when they ask or seem curious).

[@lechatleblanc]

u can use ur channel as therapy !! i dont mind !!!❤❤❤ omg... i know exactly how u feel..ive been friendless over a decade... my family sticks by me too.... and yes i relied on romantic partners as friends too.... we are like the same people !i pushed everyone away too and i dont wana go on social media to reintegrate myself either !

[@Kajukissmiss-g6w]

Sorry for whatever you are going through, and yes social media can be hard, like you don't want to communicate through it and its understandable, I cant even tell to reach out to people, beacuse I am unaware of your life, which is obviously i would be, but I would still say, most time situation is not as bad as we think it is, And Think and look out for anyone you think u can, also we underestimate the kindness the world has to offer, there actually are many kind people please take the first step, I hope you dont do anything bad, its okay to feel not okay, and you are completely a good person, I would suggest listening some fluet music, it usually is calming

[@Vomikaust]

Hey, I just wanted to say, thank you for sharing your experiences. I have a lot of empathy for you. 😊 I hope you do well with your project and future goals.

[@TonyaLueder]

The mental illness “trend “ is an ongoing thing that is going to continue at strong rates due to social media if I truly thought my diagnosis (adhd, anxiety , depression, ocd , ADD ,) were horribly affecting my life I could understand why people need to share about there illnesses but there are people out there desperately struggling send a cry for help and aren’t receiving it because people are overlooking them and focusing on people who aren’t as affected.

[@jackrothwell2929]

hey man. just watching your channel, subscribed now. didn't realize you were schizophrenic - I'm schizo-affective and agoraphobic so isolation has been a big part of my life. gaps in-between but i spend maybe 5-6 days a week alone, maybe 3 of those talking to no-one, except myself and occasionally anyone who pops up in my head. my auditory hallucinations are very mild but heavily distorted visual reality. i really enjoy your videos man, you're so insightful and switched on it's bizarre - i just understand computers, music and art, got nowhere near your grip on the humans around me. i'll keep watching, don't know if you can message on youtube but drop me a message if you could do with a penpal in the uk. got discord and the rest of the list of apps. sorry you're going through a bad one. keep going ✌

[@maxresdefault8235]

i feel for you brother. mental disorders are hard to deal with.

[@turkery9519]

you're not alone brother, Jesus loves you even when everything seems to be against you ❤

[@زهراءمحمد-غ7ي7و]

I hope you became better 🙏🏻, we are (this generation) all have social problems.

[@marielasa]

It's not the same for everyone tho, it kind of goes hand by hand with everyone saying they are mentally ill, we all struggle with that in some extent but not everyone has the type of social problems that severely affects the quality of your life

[@ArtinZZZ]

You’re good, man💚

[@tombaumgarten893]

Dude the last few years of my life have been so similar, I feel your pain man I'm extremely lonely to the point I've realised I've started watching your videos and other creators like you who just talk into the camera because sometimes that's the closest I can feel to human interaction, I'd love to connect man via discord or any socials I think it'd be really nice to be able to talk to someone about feelings so similar

[@SkyHighMelody]

Read the power of now, it helped me get out of a serious psychosis. Its not about thinking about it, its about finding a way to not think at all. Surpisingly not thinking makes you capable of shutting out all the voices, all the overthinking while being the best version of youself. Its like being in constant flow, thats what the book tries to teach, how to be in the now In some cases, it will even enable the mind to heal over time

[@cameronbrown9266]

Hey man! you don't want to leave this place no matter how shit it can get (trust me I know). I think of the future, I imagine if I wasn't here, then I wouldn't have kids that I get to watch grow and become a dad and then a grandfather. Life is full of pain, but it's also filled with love and beauty. stay on the meds man! find some new interests or hobbies. maybe spend time on a ranch being a ranch hand for a month with no phone or technology can do wonders. hope this helps! god speed from the land down under!

[@paxet.]

i love this guy im so sorry

[@Ofthevalleyofthewind]

I literally have nobody either. I do have acquaintances and "family" but I trust absolutely nobody because of the gangstalking. You know what you went through and go through is the type of stuff that causes PTSD. I know what you're talking about because people think they're mentally ill but if they would've been in your mind and lived your lfie for one or a couple days, they'd be humbled. So I just wanna say that I see you and stay strong and ground yourself. Enjoy little wins and moments and perhaps pray a little bit every day. This is what I'm doing.. Just tryna come up with ways to fight this stuff without loosing too much energy. Anyways hope to hear from you.

[@lazaromurad322]

I wish I could help you I am bipolar and I know how terrible it is to suffer from mental health issues, I wish I could be your real friend I actually have spent YEARS in isolation, but first you have got to keep trying to find a therapist because it has to come hand in hand with your medication EASE don't feel bad about feeling sad, your emotions are completely valid, try no to be so hard on yourself I wish I was there w you and give you a big long hug because I see myself on you when I was your age big big hug my friend and please keep seeking for professional help until you find someone that suits you and can help you love always, from Mexico

[@AmbrociousXP]

Im not sure if you will ever read this but in case you do, I encourage you to watch the movie called "A Beautiful Mind". I too struggle with mental health issues and over time I have pushed away most everyone. I will say this about you based on the vids I have seen from you; you have a great mind and heart. Please never give up. You are loved from afar even if you can't bring yourself to be very social.

[@Myret]

You are not crazy nor psychotic; you are gifted beyond what you can imagine right now. The meds will help for so long until…

[@gralbov]

I got a partner who is challenging me and this might be the only way out. I was in a mental hospital too, they gave me some kind of schizo- diagnosis. Usually I am so disconnected from reality and constantly push people away from me. I want to be alone, but seem to not handle it that well. I would have ended up being in there for a long time if my partner did not urge me to escape or if she left me. I have become very obsessed with achieving at least the ability to provide for her. This seems to be a great motivator, but it has been very challenging. I am still very disconnected from reality, but this obsession with providing helps. I honestly have no clue where I'd find motivation to do this if it wasn't for a partner I truly love. I'd still live in strange places, talk to myself, and be in hospitals a lot. I hate technology in many ways, so I want to achieve some lifestyle based in the values and material condition of the late 1800s.

[@serafino.mp4]

sometimes just having your family is enough tho. just having a few or so family members is okay.

[@JULIEmathews456]

Please, keep making these

[@shadowrider777]

Be positive 🙆🏻‍♀️

[@Jukestar]

I'm a schizophrenic too, man; unmedicated on-top-of-it because all of the shit they prescribed me just made me feel even more shitty. I have been able to keep from having episodes by socializing however I can, even if it's simply in voice chats until I can get better at outside socialization.

[@kuolevainen]

I feel for you. ♡

[@palc618]

I think your family is very important, while they may feel an obligation to care for you, this isn't ever a guarantee. I have seen it in my own personal life. I would talk to them more, practice socializing with them. Hold your head high bro!

[@fleurrosa-w4s]

Idk if you will see this but ... idk if you have tried this before but there is some promising reseach about the keto diet as a medical treatment for Schizophrenia. Of course you should talk about this with a doctor or psychiatrist before trying but from what I read it can seriously lessen the symptomes of schizophrenia. The reseach what we have now is small but i'm pretty sure there is more on the way. I'm not that knowledgable about it but if you are interested you could look into and see for yourself if you would like to try is. Since the schizophrenia is mostly the cause of the way you feel, finding a way to manage it in a bearable way could help 💜 You seems such a thoughtful and kind person, a friend i would love to have.

[@nocturnesof]

I can really relate to you I was also using anti psychotics I quit it by myself I still have voices in my head but meds are making me so numb anyway the existential crisis and the thoughts are so overwhelming I know. I would really liked to be friends with you bc I'm having the exact same issues man

[@shadowrider777]

I feel you bro😢

[@limitbreakcake]

Hopefully things are looking up. I don't have any suggestions, just here to say I have and do suffer similarly and it impacts the way I struggle to maintain relationships, due to various fears I cannot control, and have been at many points where I have almost pushed everyone out of my life. I have been very alone at certain parts of my life and it is not sustainable in the long run, so I hope that you find a way to reintegrate soon. If you need anyone to talk to, from one youtube yapper to another, I am here. Also keep working on your project!! I hope it goes well completing it.

[@LaMach420]

Yo brother I too burned all bridges and isolated while going thru mental turmoil. I know this wont address the social isolation but I promise you if you start exercising (push ups, squats and pull ups, if you buy a bar) the endorphin release will help your mind and supplementing with a multi vitamin and vit D and eating decent will balance your hormones, you will feel a lot better. It wont fix your problems but it might give you what you need to start.

[@arizo3806]

Video Journaling and videography, I like it. I have schizophrenia too.

[@umemuril]

id be happy to hear about whatever, i dont know if i can offer really friendship but i can tell you about bread i made, stuff i saw, ect, trying to write this really makes me realise how little i have going on oof. i can also relate to lots of things you say, so

[@EasyBravo]

@Rain I think you could start by going outside everyday & walk around the park,,,just being outside around green gras & nature is good ... also walk everyday and get Vitamin D from the SUN...walking is a great exercise...sometimes there are a few people at the Park...u can choose to Say Hi!!!! To people or say HELLO Everytime u walk by someone at the park. Walk at the park Do some running at the park Get vitamin D from the SUN everyday Say Hello to people at the park Get out of the house & walk EVERYDAY

[@Goxthh]

Even trying to gain back contact feels weird never seems to work out idk

[@doomgoor9960]

subscribed, frien :3 we understand many things youve said, as someone with DID and other effects.... keep up everything!!!! am so exited to see your project 》.《!!!!

[@JiuJitsuM4]

The issue is with pushing everyone out of your life. You must only push away the bad ones.

[@LuukaLyre]

I hope you're getting better and better every day, I wanted to highly recommend the books and videos by Eckhart Tolle, Pema Chödrön, Osho and Rupert Spira :) - Some of the books will definitely be in audiobook version as well All I can write is that these are the greatest and most precious gems in this entire existence Basically, it is only because of these books and videos that I am still alive - they have helped and are helping me so much - I want so badly to give hugs to all these authors/human beings and it hurts me so much that I will probably never have the opportunity

[@theesteward9150]

I love you brother, I've been there. I totally understand what you're going through, I know you probably won't reach out because I would have been too paranoid to make contact in your shoes but if you ever get through that then you can hmu on any platform. Your channel is like looking into a mirror of my past (and somewhat my present hahaha)

[@Ofthevalleyofthewind]

oh you are schizo tooo. oh my god you know when you just recognize somebody and relate immediately. I'm not "schizo" but I'm being "gangstalked" by interdimensional beings. My world fell apart a couple years ago. Nothing makes sense anymore. I don't even trust my immediate reality, because I've seen it morph like play-dough. I relate so much to you and feel your loneliness. And do not take your family for granted. SOme people do not have family. My family are for all I know also gangstalkers, but I still love them somehow and I appreciate everything they give me, because without them I would've been dead. You are not mentally ill. You are gifted, observant, sensitive to your surroundings, which a lot of people aren't. People are brain dead and you are better off alone. I suggest getting a pet, like a dog or a cat if you're able. We could be friends, otherwise. I know your pain and longing so intimately. hope you're doing alright currently. Do not beat yourself up. I have dark sides too, but I try to be balanced about it and not destroy myself.

[@JillRobertsIsmyGF]

Don't weep my angelic muse, you're wanted, & you are loved, don't forget this. 🖤❤️‍🩹

[@lanadelkim6203]

start meditating, genuinely clear you mind of all thought and do it daily until it becomes easy to integrate into your routine. You'll firstly have more control over your thoughts and their direction. Then you can begin to give less airtime to the intrusive, superstitious and negative thoughts. Whether or not they are true - and gang stalking and demons are topics that aren't ruled out as truth - they just shouldn't be getting any of your precious time or energy. Always remember that you choose the reality and dimension you live in, that's your free will. So to clear out those thoughts and decide you're going to focus on positive ones instead is vital for staying sane especially if you have very fast moving energy. Keep it high, where that speed is meant to exist.

[@Emma_Sooo]

I recommend trying to connect with people by joining a free social anxiety group consisting of people who are also going through similar problems...

[@youtubeaccountserio2633]

I’ve been there, thought I had gang stalkers, that’s social isolation for you

[@dalgonacovfefe]

hope you're doing okay