Self-Centered Creep Blames Everyone Else for HIS Problems - RPG Horror Stories

[@Tzryylon5]

Me: Hey, this story about the Lollipop seems familiar - whoa wait a minute that's my story Crispy is reading it hooray!!!"

[@PTp1ranha]

"Lollipop" is a cute name for a ship.

[@Derginator]

I find it refreshing the DM (you?) pulled the plug after I assume everyone was tweaking from not rolling above a 7. Kudos

[@Tzryylon5]

@@Derginator Yeah, I think it was also super late at that point too and everyone was tired. Ultimately, as a DM, I have to make sure my players are both having fun AND doing well IRL. Don't want to give them burnout from playing too long!

[@TheZMage]

“Surf and turf” is a food thing, shrimp and steak usually. He’s saying they’re cannibals

[@Tzryylon5]

@@TheZMage Is it cannibalism if the sea elves are eating creatures who aren't sea elves? Is it not merely predation at that point? My party had this philosophical discussion at the time and I honestly can't remember how we resolved it

[@langying]

Yeah, by that logic; all land animals are cannibals for eating... Other land animals.

[@DarthJudicar22]

Logic could extend cannibalism to eating other sapient species in a fantasy or sci-fi setting.

[@Tzryylon5]

@@DarthJudicar22 as a sci-fi writer myself, I tend towards that logic as well. On the other hand, I've always wondered what fried Ferengi tastes like...

[@DarthJudicar22]

@ Probably not very good.

[@Ace-of-snakes]

Hungry sea elves... Add the turf to their surf... They're cannibals Crispy.

[@v1de0gamr23]

It's not cannibalism if they aren't eating other sea elves

[@AMillennialNerd]

@@v1de0gamr23 Humanoids eating other humanoids is definitely cannibalism in my games.

[@v1de0gamr23]

​@@AMillennialNerdso you're right because you don't like being wrong. Got it 👍

[@AMillennialNerd]

@@v1de0gamr23 1/10 bait, you're not even trying.

[@deethwarrior]

​​@@AMillennialNerd eh, it might be or they might just be angry (in my game i play it as not cannibalism but like eating dogs, just kinda weird.)

[@qtgeekgrl2]

For those wondering the battle on the Lollipop was played in perosn with real dice.... I wish it was online then we could blame something other then the dice gods 😂😂. A lot of D20s were sent to dice jail that long long evening. Thanks for reading our story Crispy!!! I am lucky enough to be Chad Thunder-gnome

[@davidtherwhanger6795]

Not Hitting Anything Story. This is a perfect example of when Tyche and Bes decide to curse the dice for sh!ts and giggles.

[@zacharysieg2305]

For those not in the know, anterograde amnesia basically means the person can’t form lasting memories past a certain point, but can remember past events just fine (unless they also happen to have retrograde amnesia). Probably moot since I’m sure Rocky was faking it, but at least you know it’s not a made-up condition now.

[@chaosmeika]

Malus here. Engagement was an experience. I remember laughing through it. Mist has a way with merfolk for sure. And I had other sets of dice including digital. Just wasn’t a great day for rolling high. or maybe it was? Who can say… Totally laughed at the D2 Crucible reference.

[@Cuiasodo]

Rocky reminds me of someone I was once friends with. I was, mercifully, not one of the people that this guy focused a lot of his manipulation on, and CERTAINLY it didn't have the ERP angle, but the isolating people and spreading rumors stuff are things he'd do to other people. Years later, I still don't know how much of our friendship was genuine and how much was performative like he'd done with other people.

[@NBluth]

I mean, you're half right, those elves are coming to eat the party, but it's definitely not in the way you're thinking.

[@CringeArchon]

I LOVE these comedy skits so much, they always crack me up. And it's so ironic and fun that even with you being ace, your 'intimate themed' jokes are SO FREAKING HILARIOUS. Much love to this channel and your sense of humor!!!❤❤❤

[@commonviewer2488]

Crispy committing hate crimes to another Crispy is a gag that went by so fast

[@mothmanisthebest7404]

The surf and turf I think means that they eat land creatures sometimes. Like a surf and turf restaurant

[@valentinefr8188]

I’m so glad to have caught you within seconds of uploading, I have watched you more times than I can count. I appreciate your vibe and humor in stories that can get as horrific as these.

[@сільськаприбахана]

Okay, now I want to hear proper detailed explanation how to run away from Strad 😂

[@MzMidnight]

As do I!

[@alchemicalvapour8950]

as far as i know, unless your GM homebrews in a way, strad can track and follow you anywhere in barovia. and if you enter the mist for too long you just die, leaving your soul trapped to either A: become an undead, as is common in barovia or B: eventually be reincarnated as a barovian (although think this one is restricted to native barovians)

[@lokil93]

well in my experience when the e-dice says no it wont stop saying no for the whole session xD (happened multiple times, might as well have played with a d10 in stead of a d20)

[@qtgeekgrl2]

Sadly it was real dice that did the lollipop dirty 😂😂 I have 2 sets that have not been touched since that battle. I am Chad

[@easiestcc6451]

Same here. One time I missed two attacks in one turn, BOTH WITH ADVANTAGE

[@rhunter42dragon]

3:20 Actually, I'm pretty sure he's saying they like to eat people... I mean literally, not like a rule 34 kind of thing.

[@Tzryylon5]

@@rhunter42dragon Yes, and as someone who myself is not ace, I... can now see in retrospect how that wouldn't be clear, the way I phrased it.

[@ArcCaravan]

​@@Tzryylon5I personally blame Futurama for that, particularly the lobster woman using "surf and turf" to flirt with Fry.

[@kamiyatomomi1475]

I guess that friendship was a little... "Rocky". 😂🔫😒

[@iank472]

The second I heard the party called "the good ship" lollipop, I shuddered because it's exactly what my group of malfeasant, miscreant players would do! This is why we can't have nice things!

[@qtgeekgrl2]

We are murder hobos and our DM is extremely patient. The lollipop is the least pain in the ass thing we have done 😂😂

[@iank472]

@qtgeekgrl2 lemme tell ya trying to run a horror slanted curse of strahd game with a group of wiseasses who are too damn quick witted for their own good is quite the challenge.....

[@qtgeekgrl2]

@@iank472 🤣🤣🤣

[@vulture3105]

i had a best friend who was unfortunately also my roommate like Rocky, minus the amnesia part, erp, and SA creep stuff. i had a few friends outside of the main friend group who warned me and like the fool i was, ignored the massive neon red flags. once i hit their friendship quota they did everything in their power to paint me as a bad guy. no one in the main friend group asked my side of the story. EVER. good riddance tbh. so glad Phil asked OP's side of the story and they were able to find a community. this stuff is very scary and traumatizing esp bc when it comes to manipulation, you don't realize you're being manipulated until they are choking you and you can't breathe

[@sagesaria]

Poor Crispy...another victim of the mind goblin.

[@BunnyWitchcraft]

Gosh. That last story really hits close to home. So many weirdos will do anything to take advantage of others people.

[@Psilo-gn1sx]

That surf and turf line was a 3 pointer

[@Tzryylon5]

@@Psilo-gn1sx Thank you!

[@l0stndamned]

That not-hitting story reminds me of a moment in an urban fantasy game I ran during lockdown. The PCs had tricked two of their enemies, a demon-host with some weather-control powers and a rogue commando working for a collective of mad-scientists, into battling each-other. Both rolled poorly. The party's mascot, a baby hydra, tried to ambush the two opponents, only to also roll poorly. I said that the two enemies were having an ineffectual slap-fight while the hydra was half-heartedly nipping at their ankles. This continued for a while. Eventually the hydra finally managed to land a hit, while the other two rolled even worse, so I ruled the enemies had tripped over the hydra and knocked themselves out.

[@variansloth]

totally related to the rocky story. rly regret the things i did when i was with my toxic friend, but cutting him off was the best thing i did even if i didn't do it as quickly as i wished i did n the last one of my friend group to do so. was so easily swept up in the cycle and enabled too much. kind of guilt eats away at me still sometimes even like 4 years later now n i worry i pushed ppl away who just wanted to move on quicker than i did/didn't have it in them to reassure me but hey... doing better. making new friends.a lways striving to be a better person

[@damienhailey118]

I saw something like that. Two whole rounds, not one death. In a game of *WARHAMMER 40,000*. Shots missed. Hits failed to wound, wounds saved by armor. Don't ask about the close combat phase.

[@shadiafifi54]

Tzeentch must have been laughing off his ass cockblocking Khorne like that.

[@Theokal3]

.... I am kinda disturbed by how much Rocky's story reminds me of one of my own experiences....

[@SkeletonLeiutenant]

3:23 no Surf and Turf is a mixture of seafood and red meat so adding "the turf" would mean adding meat from a land fairing species... like pretty much all player characters

[@Tzryylon5]

And to answer your question, Crispy... neither. The hungry sea elves were sick of just eating surf and decided they could go for some turf... but yes I can hear how that sounds suggestively less (or more?) inappropriate than cannibalism 😂

[@liathedoll]

6:19 i had those moments in Overwatch quite a few times 😂 it’s the “… we never speak of this!” Moment

[@AvatAR42420]

Many of these things, like the overwhelming desire to be the best, yet play the victim reminds me of my past toxic relationship I have had in the past. Good for OP getting out if it as those types of people try very hard to make themselves the most important thing in your life. I broke off that relationship mostly because I found some healthy relationships that I realized I greatly preferred.

[@alphons1456o]

Adding Turf to their Surf just means they wanna eat land dweller flesh. I know the horror stories are giving you a sense of fear, but this isn't one of those cases, thankfully

[@dr3dg352]

Love your tip about silly options! A decade ago in a 4e campaign, I ran a campaign in a haunted auditorium. The party's goliath barbarian wanted to get up on the catwalk to hit the poltergeist who was slinging attacks at them. He decided to try and strike his axe into the wall so he could climb up it like a poll and leap to the catwalk. 😆 I called for an Athletics check and, of course, he rolled a 20 and swiftly made it to his destination. It wasn't until after the encounter that we realized that the barbarian had a rope of climbing the whole time!!!

[@GhostofRazgriz]

Just what I need, coffee and drama this fine morning.

[@marybdrake1472]

I could, actually come up with character "last minute", I have done it before, but I had to brute force it. I don't like doing that either. It's too troublesome. So, I prefer to have some lead time myself.

[@ArcCaravan]

I just have a list of character ideas that are mostly just race/class combinations. Probably expand on them as the game continues.

[@marybdrake1472]

@@ArcCaravan I wish someone had suggest that to me back then. I had to do it on the spot. I do not recommend it.

[@Derginator]

I’m pretty happy the 7 DM, decided to just pull the plug. Like can we please make that more common. A couple times something similar has happened and when you persist on into another session it just sucks.

[@singundertherose]

Oh god, the Rocky story reminds me a bit of my ‘best friend’ from a fandom I was very active in just before the pandemic hit (and to the end of 2020). She was very similar, up to and including encouraging toxic behaviour in me (and subsequently using it against me), and befriending an underage SA survivor and writing creepy shit with the girl after our writing relationship fell apart. Luckily, I realized what was happening sooner than OP, by talking to people outside of the situation, and once I actually stood up for myself, she showed her true colours, but it still *sucks* to go through 😣

[@melissam6931]

Rocky and the sleep schedule stuff reminds me of an abusive ex friend I had, he was 7 hours ahead and would constantly say it was my fault he wasn't getting enough sleep despite me constantly telling him to go to sleep and never asking him to stay awake

[@Arachobia]

The story with Rocky was sadly familiar, having had a friend in an abusive relationship. Abusers tend to try to completely isolate you from any potential support structures outside of them - it's a form of control. I am glad in this case the person got out and seems the better for it

[@ArcCaravan]

Last story made me think of Rocky Balboa, Pocky and Rocky, and Rocky and Bullwinkle.

[@VI_VA.]

That not hitting anything story reminded me why now I use both physical dice and digital dice in my discord campaign. DnD Beyond was constantly messing with my rolls. Now if I feel a weird vibe from either of my dice I can switch 😂

[@qtgeekgrl2]

I am Chad and the lollipop still haunts me 😂😂😂😂 Chad Thunder-gnome is the full name (he's my first character)

[@gimok2k5]

"carry the one and get 3.333, repeating, of course". Ah, I see, the thing you need is a guy who randomly charges in, and has some chicken. It shall be noted, Crispy.

[@joobybeen]

Absolutely inspired choice of using Garrosh on the thumbnail for this one.

[@johnoneil9188]

I want to believe for the Murloc story that the actual agent they were waiting on was late due to dimensional shenanigans and they pixked up the little fish guy instead mistaking him for the agent.

[@Lykaos_Rex79]

I've had the dice gods give my players and my baddies all bad rolls in combat scenes before.. Once in a desert setting both my roving band of desert warriors and the pc's couldn't get a hit off on either side. So my solution?....A dance off bro! Not even joking . At least the contested Acrobatics or Athletics rolls worked out more favorably. Leading to my roving band of hardened desert warriors vowing "You may think your moves are impressive now but when next we meet we'll embarrass you on the dance floor!" ....Silly? Absolutely but it sure fixed such a bad combat scene and it was pretty entertaining.

[@Imtrashbutimfree]

3:14 It means they want to something that comes from the land instead of the sea. I had to rack my ace brain to make sure it wasn't an innuendo.

[@EternaMidnight]

It's amazing how similar every narcissist's playbook is...

[@rinkuraku5251]

When everyone finds out their dice were secretly traitor dice all along!

[@Chaosqueenngami]

Thanks for the video

[@gc-painter9535]

...first one reminds me of a time I was RPing with my friends (wasnt DnD, we just used a dice system to make things like combat more fair.) My character was hiding with another. I got a 19 That quacker got a 20. I swear that dude is ungodly lucky with the dice gods ;u;

[@donutchan8114]

The trash dice story reminds me of my first campaign, my character couldnt roll to save her life to get over a wall, and then proceeded to roll so poorly she killed a friendly wizard... who was invisible. She later tried to start a fire to cause a distraction but wound up burning down an entire bazaar, got arrested and sentenced to death, dm tried getting a dmpc to bail her out only for him to get arrested. Fortunately another character rolled high enough persuasion to bail us both out. Afterwards she fell overboard, got slammed into the side of the boat, almost drowned and broke 3 ribs. She also caused a fey sponsored apocalypse after making mead with fey honey and giving it to the hapless crew as a sign of goodwill since she didnt know what fey honey did, she just thought it was special. She never died. She went through hell and back but never had to roll deathrolls. I later made it part of her backstory that she survived a minefield that killed her captors and granted her freedom to become a fearless, albeit unintentionally chaotic, adventurer.

[@robertscholfield4048]

The story with all the low numbers rolled sounds like the last time I used digital dice. Never again.

[@pamplaysgames]

Surf and turf: Lobster and steak.

[@christiankunce9491]

1:09 or cross running water. Yeah he’s that kind of vamp.

[@DraidensDen]

Toxicity can in fact come from anywhere. I am an avid Path of Titans realism player, and have been for 2 years now. In one of my servers, I was friends with this person, "Cat", and another one "Fox." Fox and Cat *hated* one another, but I was friends with both of them and it was a weird middle ground. I had been friends with Fox for longer, but Cat played more often with me so we grew very close and I was in her inner circle. Long story short, one time we played something happened and we all left the session earlier than intended because of it. Cat DM'd me and accused me of lying, over her friend, "Ferret." We had a falling out then and there. It's been a few months now, and I'm better off without Cat and her friends. It also led me to getting closer with Fox and his friend group, who are lovely people. We ended up starting a realism server of our own and the rest is history. Yippee.

[@laszloeszik5033]

OMG, do the Dice Gods have some problems with me... :D Not that I am always rolling bad, sometimes I even roll a nat 20 (usually when it doesn't matter, but sometimes when it does). Not once I rolled double 1s on advantage... and once, with a halfling, as they have some crazy feat to reroll a 1: advantage, double 1s and the new roll is also a 1.

[@theimperviousfirecracker7934]

Last time I was this early I wasn't subscribed yet

[@TearDownGenesis]

Bro claimed "Antrograde amnesia" did it start around the time Memento came out?

[@mostlyghostey]

Surf and Turf is a meal that includes both seafood and steak. Anyway, it means sometimes instead of eating seafood the sea elves elves ate land dwelling individuals too.

[@strwb3rryz]

deez nutz jokes were great XD

[@LordSvzklx]

I get that being a narcissist often goes hand in hand with being a pathological liar but goddamn did he have to be so dumb about it? “I have notes written all over my walls!” -Streams video showing obvious lack of notes “I have anterograde amnesia!” -Can obviously remember grudges and slights just fine “I was forced into doing these things by this other guy!” -Other guy can provide screenshots that show otherwise Like, if you’re gonna be a narcissist at least have the good grace to be smart about it

[@sherylcascadden4988]

Much more than "a bit toxic"

[@easiestcc6451]

I wanna switch over to pathfinder, but honestly, two things are keeping me from doing so. #1: I want to have at least a few paragraphs of lore for each 5E race, which would mean either trashing some of it and making new lore for the pathfinder races, or homebrewing 5E races into pathfinder and not allowing the pathfinder races to be playable And #2: The Pathfinder community is gatekeepy AS FUCK. Like god damn, the community for it is SUPER snobby. They are are vegans and linux users of TTRPGs. They make it their whole life goal to tell you that they're a vegan/linux user. WE GET IT. NO ONE CARES.

[@ArcCaravan]

Just saw your comment on another video. Not even sure why when Pathfinder isn't mentioned in both videos.

[@Kira-osity]

So Artemis Fowl

[@Niridias]

Murlocs ❤

[@nathangertos5517]

Question when you were doing you’re not hitting anything skit, what video game did you use as your background?

[@jasonmay5685]

My honest opinion here, but the Murloc player did nothing wrong. According to the OP/GM, the one-shot involved a "Men in Black but for fairy issues" type organization named "BofA", the mission briefing was conducted at a not-Waffle House, one player broke another player out of a succubus' spell by pretending to be their grandmother, and the ultimate encounter at the end was kicking down a bathroom door because the governor's son was trying to peacefully take a dump. On top of that, Murloc joined two hours before the session and received absolutely no guidance or feedback from the GM because they were /still prepping the session/. OP has no one to blame but themselves.

[@M_M_ODonnell]

In the sea elf fight, are we sure they were actually rolling d20s? Because yikes all around

[@qtgeekgrl2]

Oh we were and we used real dice. The entire group are dice goblins and a lot of D20s went to jail that night. (I am Chad)

[@llamachai]

Dang what's going on with KZbin now? Had like 5 ad breaks for a 24 minute video.

[@junktion]

6:18 I play with an online group and have elven accuracy as a feat. I sht you not i have rolled upwards of 200 d20s on attack rolls and never once got a crit on my attack rolls which sucks because I have a burst damage build. I switched to physical with a web cam on my dice tray and have rolled about 20-25% crits on my elven accuracy shots since (above average but still pretty fair)

[@snorpenbass4196]

Dicebots are so bad, it's almost like they're deliberately programmed like that. I remember attempting to use a famous dicebot site to generate character stats, and always, ALWAYS ending up with Ability scores where not one of them was above 6-7. Even when I rolled 4d6. So. Many. 1's and 2's...

[@qtgeekgrl2]

The battle of the lollipop was played in person with real dice. A lot of D20s went to dice jail that night. (Hi I'm Chad)

[@hannahnohlgren989]

A bit toxic. Always easier to see toxic people in your life in hindsight. 😅

[@maxwellfillingim777]

Rocky be toxic

[@roadkillrandy5926]

A bit toxic

[@thefiremaster112]

Can't help but think that last story left a lot unsaid, it's a huge red flag that rocky was the one who cut OP off and OP proceeded to get his friends kicked out of guilds and "stalked" the one who was supposed to be more problematic. Looks more like it's two exes throwing shit at eachother

[@ArcCaravan]

Sounded like Rocky was kicked out before even meeting OP, like he had a bad history before they met.

[@jesternario]

I have a story. Heck, I sent it over to your email listed. It wasn't a horror story tho, just an end of campaign report, so it probably won't get posted.

[@cervicalvertebrea]

a bit toxic

[@SelfProclaimedGorl]

A bit toxic

[@tabichenvtuber4703]

a bit toxic