Sex & Intimacy in Marriage | Part 1 | Couch Conversations | S2 E2

Is sex the end all be all for proving your love to your partner? Khadeen & Devale talk about maintaining intimacy in marriage and relationships with couples Kirk and Nakia and Jennifer and Nashon.
Follow Khadeen & Devale's YT Channel's! @The Ellises & @Khadeen Ellis And listen to their Podcast, "Deadass" on www.deadasspod...
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Filmed in 2019

[@kncdco5966]

Thank you Black Love for having the lovely 40 something couple with no children was great. So many times we only see younger couples with young kids but this allowed other people to feel like you were also talking about their experiences.....thank you!

[@patriciaharris2259]

This was real.. I like how he explain loving his wife in other ways.. 💪🏾💪🏾 ready for part 2

[@zeldapolk1980]

This needs to be discussed in premarital counseling. Or prior to marriage period so that couples can have a heads up and chance to work through this.

[@JM-qg9bo]

True but it's different in the moment.

[@Carlyon100]

Having a lot of sex is good and all but it is not a reward for being faithful to your spouse. True intimacy trumps sex everyday. It teaches you to live with grace.

[@j.cutrone]

I'm a guy and I agree with everything you said. It definitely teaches you to live with grace.

[@FantaandDarwin]

So true and I’m glad that we can recognize the difference between sex and intimacy. Theres levels

[@daniresanchez]

Appreciate Video clip! Excuse me for chiming in, I am interested in your initial thoughts. Have you researched - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (should be on google have a look)? It is a good exclusive product for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger without the headache. Ive heard some awesome things about it and my best friend Jordan after many years got great results with it.

[@Mikedread876]

But men and women are different. Is the expectation then for the man to do without, or suffer in silence? Would you then be ok if he decides that you should pay all the bills as long as he gives you "intimacy", live with grace, right?

[@christiemosley2796]

@@Mikedread876 I think you fail to realize that MANY MEN WITHHOLD FROM WOMEN AS WELL, AND WHEN THEY DO HAVE RELATIONS, THEY WITH HOLD INTIMACY AS WELL. Many men have medical issues and or low Testosterone and can’t perform, so they don’t feel that they need to do anything to satisfy their mate be it some form of sex definitely not intimacy. I have heard the stories. Then there are the couples that both have hit that sexual slump and or have medical issues that causes lack of a sex drive along with a hormonal issue and they both just settle for it and don’t bother to at least be intimate not realizing intimacy is an emotional need, so many times they feel they have lost the love when really they are emotionally starved.

[@LindaTinahTV]

The honesty of the guy on the left!!!!!!! Bless him.

[@MsNichols329]

I watched Part 2 before watching this one. Both were so so good! My hubby and I could TOTALLY relate. Thank you for having this conversation. I wish that more couples were open to talking about this topic.

[@NBnNC]

“That boy tryna get some cookies right now.” 🤣

[@douglaswatson6969]

Love this conversation!

[@The_Dancelegz_Experience]

Love that this is being talked about

[@vibingwithdr.nikkwhoop2226]

Thank you for sharing this needed panel🙏🏽

[@angelajones9982]

I love this and it is real talk. For some reason you can not find this in churches. I haven’t found one yet that can be transparent and honest. Thank you ❤

[@ghostbabybrown]

Omg I am loving your shows. I’ve never been married, Yet.... but before I do I will be binge watching Black Love episodes First

[@cookiemama9756]

Me and my husband liked this one. Looking forward to part 2!

[@wamaithamurigu3411]

I just loved this convo... niiiice

[@valentinengare3022]

Now I cant wait for part two..🥰

[@Theorytheorythesis]

I like the way y'all show it set up The vibe is cool👍🏾

[@Mrsadebesin1127]

So well made, kudos 👌👌👌

[@arapbii]

Damn! And here I thought we were abnormal. Looking forward to the next part.

[@foxib385]

Love this conversation! I would love to see a conversation that I’m in. Unfortunately, I met a person who is married, me not knowing however. He perceived me with me getting out of a 14 relationship and knowing I didn’t want another relationship, I just wanted sex. He went above and beyond to make me his girl and he did just that again without me knowing he was married. But now he has put me in a situation where he loves women on women put, but I was never into that, ever! But he has cohersed me into being with women. Now our issue is having to deal with his wife and other women to get his love. Should I stop pursuing his love because it will never be me?

[@yegonhillary5241]

A lot of insight.

[@williebrown5889]

🗣 shoutout to the homie Jennifer!!

[@rainiewells8436]

Sex & intimacy are different. I would of liked to hear the meaning of both. To me, the talk was about sex and not intimacy.

[@lofisis7271]

1.Married ppl can misss each other if they live together and see each other everyday. 2.Women seems to have higher drive than men 3.Not all women wear granny panties 4.Does all women who have babies not want sex? 5.And I agree you never put it away neverrrrrrr

[@ExcaliburSPO]

Debating intimacy and Sex in marriage? HAHA!!!!

[@AllThingsSoul]

Everyone has good points but there was a lot of talking over each other and interrupting. Next time, maybe remind people that we can't hear when everyone speaks at the same time or let people finish their statements before speaking.

[@Emmanuel-gl9ic]

If your married why does a msn have to try to get some cookies? They are your cookies just take em.

[@chakalangevinecasey9549]

Get your health in tact Bro... it will become frustrating..

[@Emmanuel-gl9ic]

Lets see if we can identify the simp

[@reddnacpil4420]

i wanna hear them without the wives

[@alexfletcher5192]

The sad thing from and Englishman is noting how utterly departed from the wants of this conversation are...

[@christopherparrish7037]

I couldn't watch... frustrating to say the least

[@jessicaj.358]

Why??

[@christopherparrish7037]

@@jessicaj.358 Because of my personal situation

[@kdevonraine]

Man, that was good to see the brother on the left side was so honest about his health and how it affected the intimacy.

[@lisamuchi8764]

Honesty is so.important in A Marriage. At least he knows & both him & his wife can navigate that path together.

[@christiemosley2796]

👏🏿

[@ShaniasHappyHomestead]

Yes amen. Beautiful couple

[@blessedandfavoured5941]

Thank you for being honest and vulnerable God bless 🙏🏾

[@Emmanuel-gl9ic]

Not really. Women don't want men for sex once they get married. He could not have a penis and she'd still marry him.

[@615BlackBarbie]

This was relatable. Healthy and refreshing. The host should've also answered the same questions. It still amazes me how people are uncomfortable with saying the word (sex) but, having it.

[@franceskittrell8761]

The host couple have their own podcast where they've already spoken about this topic in detail.

[@cassandrabrunson9131]

Also, if you go back to some of these couch conversations, you'll see they've answered these questions with other couples. They don't necessarily want to take up too much time for themselves.

[@wildewildestrawberries]

Especially when you've had children too. Innocence is long gone.

[@carolynlong8701]

Sex and intimacy is different ❤️in every marriage. Do what works for you 💕

[@rpcrealpeopleconsulting6324]

A real talk a man's image of his woman is different from our own image of our body....and I appreciate that.

[@ruthokemwa3597]

Kudos for the Video clip! Forgive me for butting in, I would love your thoughts. Have you ever tried - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (Have a quick look on google cant remember the place now)? It is a great exclusive product for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger minus the hard work. Ive heard some pretty good things about it and my cousin at last got astronomical success with it.

[@hch5498]

This was beautiful - loved the guys reassurances on the body changes after giving birth - I was so very conscious of my body changes and stretch marks. Good talk thanks 😊

[@ahmoniquedanielle879]

This was real! Especially the body not responding!

[@LucianSharTru]

He said “man I’m not even looking at them stretch marks” 🤣🤣

[@latoniabelser2530]

I love how he admitted that he was having issues because most men keep silent which in turn makes women believe its actually them.

[@ltautoul]

Ima need that part 2. This was too cute!!! Lol

[@BlackLove]

It comes out tomorrow! :)

[@ajohonly3721]

It’s now out check it out

[@lisagibson2099]

I agree with you. They did such a fantastic job of relaying sexual intimacy once you're married in such a cute way

[@zeldapolk1980]

Glad that couple was able to work through the health condition and the spouse was graceful enough to support and work with her husband. Some marriages fell apart over this lack of understanding and support for each other during the tough days.

[@JM-qg9bo]

Unfortunately it's usually the man not being understanding. Not always but more times than not.

[@lidmontgomery8837]

“dat boy trying to get some cookies right now” 😂😂😂

[@fielonw]

😂😂😂😮‍💨

[@christiemosley2796]

😂😂😂😂🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@tranquility9325]

Lmao!

[@MrsMoore1]

Bruh…: tell me why I was scrolling through the comments and Devale said that at the exact moment!😭😭😭

[@LindaTinahTV]

I was laughing hard when they talked about the insecurities women usually have. It's nice to hear the men say they don't care as much as we think they do.

[@salimaellis3980]

You’re married so talk about it

[@kdevonraine]

Khadeen you can tell that you have been getting your workouts in, you are toning up really nicely, keep up the good work sis (you guys motivate me with the conversation and now watching you trim down after the babies). As not to leave anyone out, hubby is on point too.

[@kcm51598]

And now she is expecting again ,she definitely makes it look easy .I be struggling as ish

[@antoinettejohnson169]

I think the conversation started without addressing a key component. We need to first answer the question What is intimacy? Everyone has a different definition. It has to be clearly defined so that the confusion in the relationship is minimized and communication is more effective when the definition is clear. Intimacy can connect with the physical action of intercourse, but intimacy is not necessarily intercourse.

[@sopheeelexus]

I love this..thank you to the couples for your honesty!!

[@nt4979]

I like this, even though I haven't finished watching - but PLEASE fix the AUDIO!!! - Make it easier to hear and focus on what's being said.

[@jeanettebrown2414]

We’re in our early 50’s…empty nesters…married 2yrs…and I most definitely want it more than he does… before we were married it was on…but it declined once we did…and it pisses me off…and we have had full blown arguments…to me it is laziness and selfishness…and all that energy and getting it on prior to marriage…needs to be the same or more when married…you were doing the same jobs and daily routines before marriage and made time to do it…don’t change up…unless for medical reasons …once married…because it’s BS…take advantage of time…space..,and opportunity…we are getting better…because I raise hell when it’s been longer than 2 wks 😊

[@marriejames01]

He might need to see a doctor and possibly look into testosterone shots. I hope things get better for the two of you.

[@beaboutpeaceandpleasure9230]

I think women should desire sex more. It is a good situation for a man.

[@christiemosley2796]

@@beaboutpeaceandpleasure9230 You have to remember many women were taught that wanting sex made you a dirty girl. This has been at the back of many women’s (lil girl inside) mindset. Also taught that men like the challenge and the chase, and if we act like we want it we are too needy, ESPECIALLY IF YOU WERE RAISED I. CHURCH!!!! Sexuality was NEVER OK FOR US! So many have learned better and realize it’s healthy to want intimacy and being sexual with out being a scarlet!!!

[@stacystacy2039]

thanks y'all. I'm not married yet but I'm preparing.. i been taking notes watching the ellises

[@MarshaunO]

Loving these honest conversations! All. Of. This. Sounds familiar. . . Schedule, body image issues, health issue etc

[@gerrimiller3491]

Wonderful video family💕y'all are lovely couples. I pray that God allow my marriage to be patient, Passionate and understanding. Waiting on God's timing for marriage ⚘

[@elizabethbillingsley5534]

Now the question is: is everyone satisfied and pleasured by the sex and how do couples work through that with one another?

[@Shayvideos1]

Good question.

[@Redsnappa01]

Good question ⁉️

[@chiyere1982]

I wish this was a little longer then 10 minutes 😢😢😢

[@lwstokes]

Definitely hormonal affects response. Going through the "change of life" aka menopause and it's not poppin like it used to be.

[@ceebee7192]

I haven't reached that part of my life yet but I feel that birth control definitely inhibits my appetite.

[@kea-anncodner7191]

Part two please. Tooo cute!!

[@wildewildestrawberries]

Three beautiful couples. 😍

[@ladylabyrinth6345]

i opened this on accident and thoroughly enjoyed it :)

[@tracijones4147]

Great conversation

[@debrawillwin11]

I truly love couch 🛋 conversations 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿💥💥💥

[@Oshina130]

We need part 2 !!!!!

[@Meee-iw2qf]

If there are any men reading comments, do you guys ever not want it or get so used to to your woman sexually that it’s not the same thrill behind the thought of wanting to have sex with her? I’m just wondering. So many women be too tired for sex but it seems like most men don’t run into these issues.

[@Emmanuel-gl9ic]

Tired wives is that what we have to sighn up for getting married? I will pass. As a single you get more sex and more intimacy. Why get married?

[@Aarona_TheVirgo]

Ok so FIRST OF ALL THIS IS SUPER CUTE 🥰☺️ Keep spreading the positivity y’all! Second WHAT UP KIRK!!!! I ain’t seen #KirkMcHenry since 2012. Congrats on the marriage Kirk 🍾

[@fefepierre2196]

Part 2 PLEASE!💗🔥💯

[@101veevee]

Stumbled on this video and this was a good conversation. Because intimacy is hard has your relationship evolve and especially when you’re a parent

[@rodmandrake2101]

sex is equal to any other part of the relationship, if you don't work at it as you do the other areas then men will lose interest which will lead to an increase porn, infidelity, lack of intimacy. this conversation should be had before marriage to see where each value sex, its a part of compatibility. if you don't value it the same move on because it will lead to issue later on.

[@BukolaRY_TV]

Waiting for part 2

[@taratoler2310]

Please keep this going!!! Good stuff

[@camillemccorkle-bodiford227]

When shit ain't right, I have no desire for that ! Period

[@BEAUTYFUL18]

THIS YEAR ME AND MY HUSBAND STARTED GETING BUSY EVERY SINGLE DAY.EXCEPT THE LADIES DAYS.BUT WE BOTH HAPPY AS HELL ABOUT IT😻

[@jessicaj.358]

That's too much...

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

@@jessicaj.358 ..... information.

[@larenzojohnson5242]

Wow y’all need a show plz

[@BobF510]

I'm touched by the authenticity and depth of this content. A book with parallel subjects steered my life's journey. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint

[@yingying74]

Love the honesty 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

[@cuprunnethover2509]

I think it is important to talk about before marriage. I think it should be open and honest so no one's feelings will be hurt. People have different sexual drives so you have to honestly be willing to compromise and considerate of your spouse. You have to take into consideration that you are going to be the only one that your spouse turns to for that fulfillment so you need to consider there feelings and their needs. You know, you don't want to drive them away. Or make them wish that they never married you. That would be a horrible feeling. You may not be in the mood but there are ways to get into the mood. If you are tired then go to sleep and wake up a little early in the morning. You won't be tired because you slept that night. There are ways to get around the tiredness. There are ways to get around the I'm not in the mood as well. There really should be no excuses. You just have to be willing to compromise in every situation. I can say this because I am not married. However, that is how I feel at the moment. Of course, you never know until you have walked a mile in the married shoes. I believe there is a solution to every problem. 🤭 When a man's body get to that point, you can't just put it away!🤣🤣 Awww! Okay! I guess those soldiers has to march! Okay! Thanks for letting me know! 😊 I didn't know!

[@merryladdo6556]

When are the next episodes coming out... Kay and Devale... you really helped my marriage with all these to make us feel like we were normal and not the only ones going through this. Thank you for being so honest

[@NakissiD]

Love thisssssssssss episodeee!!

[@TruthMerc]

Just glad to know that a show like this exists. Black love doesn’t get promoted anywhere.

[@troysimpson1420]

Hum

[@phish_1]

Ohh I’m married so I don’t really need a help from other people to come !!! 😂😂😂

[@obedirect5491]

Zach(ary)! LOL I love these couples are candid abt such a personal topic.

[@matty8272]

So any thoughts on a married male that doesn't get any pleasure or enjoyment from sex?

[@iyanuoluwaogunmiluyi5690]

Thank you so much for this video

[@flossay1813]

Love this hopefully u can do this topic for couples in relationships not married

[@HISprincessV]

I like the fact that a POSITIVE aspect to 💑 💒 💍 is being shown vs. a doomed view of marriage and intimacy

[@janicevance6981]

That was really good! I appreciate your vulnerability

[@francisw3456]

Very good topic, wish it was longer this is sooo important in a marriage!

[@Bdk2036]

Guy on the right got tired of her cutting him off real quick 😂

[@rcng086]

"Don't start nothing if you ain't trying to have a situation"

[@stephanieknight7593]

Man these perfect ass couples lol where are the problems lol

[@anniejustin2621]

❤❤❤❤

[@joelinekitenge9683]

Aww this was so good guys. Thanks for having this conversation 🙌🏽

[@marcialetts3939]

Love this so much

[@Marriagecast]

So good! Great conversation y'all

[@adrianjeffrey2897]

That forehead will knock out a troop of Roman soldiers with one swoop lol