Sexual Orientation OCD & Dating/Relationships

This can be SO hard to navigate! You may feel like you are lying or that you shouldn't date until you KNOW FOR SURE. Well, you gonna be waiting a LONG time. OCD thrives off of needing to know, so for this theme and any, it's so important to work on making it irrelevant rather than needing to know the TRUTH. I know this is hard, I have lived it! But you are not alone. For information on Peer Support/Referral Consultation, go to www.chrissiehodges.com. For Peer Support Groups: www.ocdpeers.com
For OCD Treatment through NOCD, go to www.treatmyocd...
Follow me on Social media for more OCD content!
Instagram: @pureochrissie
Facebook: Treatment for OCD Consulting
Twitter: @pureochrissie
For more videos on living with OCD:
OCD and Memories • OCD and Memories
Sexual Orientation OCD & Dating/Relationships • Sexual Orientation OCD...
OCD: Am I Straight? Gay? Trans? Bi? Asexual? • OCD: Am I straight? Ga...
#ocd #ocdhelp #ocdhope #pureocdhelp #treatmentforocd

[@bellap.4623]

The best advice you can give to someone with OCD is “You’re never going to figure it out, so why worry about it?” It sounds sort of awful at first, but when you think about it, it certainly makes sense. For example I’ve tried checking, I’ve tried accepting I am, I’ve proven the obsessions, I’ve disproven the obsessions and I still have NO CLUE. I never will. I’ll just deal with whatever life trolls at me.

[@joebrat6809]

I agree, ive suffered from this for about 5 months now and felt exactly like that i had bad HOCD from pornography usage and hadn't been on a date for several months after i tried once and had ED, and coming across this 'treatment form' is probably the most constructive advice ive come across so far

[@PhoebeKnight]

I never usually comment on KZbin videos but I just want to thank you so so so much Chrissie. Your videos have helped me in immeasurable ways. You've encouraged me to find the right therapist, given me the courage to face my exposures, and given me hope that I can get better too! Thank you, thank you, thank you

[@gabriellahardy6636]

The last 4 / 5 years have just wizzed by so fast and I feel like I’ve done barely anything because of my ocd. I’m ready for therapy now. I’m not wasting anymore years on this !

[@detroiterz4931]

You are a prime example of human greatness Thank you for your wonderful service to us people struggling with this. I know in my heart life will repay you 100x over

[@pearlwyman7815]

Wow Chrissie thanks for existing, seriously. This video is incredible

[@adrij4961]

One thing I really struggle with is I come from a religious family so they think that I am a lesbian because I don’t pray enough or haven’t gotten “healing”. Or that I haven’t met the “right man yet”.This is actually what started my straight ocd. And it bothers me bc it makes SO-OCD feel so much more real to think that it could possibly “change” through prayer .

[@Thisisholly]

Sorry for the reassurance , but other peoples beliefs have nothing to do with YOUR orientation. You are a lesbian if you feel that is authentic to your experience.

[@user-bj4ny8bt6l]

I felt relief listening to this! You are an amazing communicator!!

[@WelcometoMidnight]

Thank you for creating this video. Its so hard to try to live a life, when themes take turns trying to ruin your attempts at doing anything. The fact that you share your experience means the world to a lot of us.

[@danssz8424]

Do you ever have phases where you actually think you’re gay and then others where you’re sure it’s ocd, these phases keep going round in circles for me and it’s so confusing

[@danssz8424]

And then also, I have thoughts about like gay stuff and my mind makes it feel as if i want to do those things, but before all of this stuff started happening to me I would’ve never dreamed of ever doing any of that stuff

[@bellap.4623]

That pretty much sums it up

[@oliviahi3534]

hii, yes i am the same, i’m sure it’s hocd though, as i also struggle with harm ocd, i know that i would never act these things out. But it is probably 99% hocd.

[@oliviahi3534]

@@danssz8424 saw how i said 99% :)

[@danssz8424]

@@oliviahi3534 how does harm ocd affect you

[@oliviahi3534]

Chrissie, this helped me sooo much, i can’t thank you enough, i used to have an eating disorder which i know is in ways is similar to ocd, i’m 14 years old and the hocd and harm ocd thoughts have started and even sometimes pocd, but the hocd one really gets to me, it’s crazy what ours minds can actually make us feel ❤️

[@haydensmith-se3ii]

how r u now?

[@Nicole-yx8ms]

Has anyone else been dealing with SOOCD since they were a kid?

[@cb73]

Damn I wish this was common knowledge 25 years ago. Would have changed my life.

[@parker.s.9830]

Same here. I started common psychotherapy very early, it never worked, they just helped me ruminating more than I did, reanalyzing more than I did. If only I knew it was ocd before

[@christinas.3461]

i hate this because i am actually bisexual but afraid i am just a lesbian and have to leave my partner who is a guy. so, in other words this is actually my ROCD talking. but seriously this is really really hard and i have only found one other person who is bi and has gone through this :"( if there are any others out there feel free to comment

[@ProjectZeus01]

I'm the same, I'm with a girl who I love, but because I am courious/Bi i always think 'fuck, does that mean I am gay? do i love her? is it all a lie?'

[@mashylasmith7228]

Oh my god!!! I am bi women in a 2 year relationship with a man and I have stumbled across some “comphet” discourse lately and it is really throwing me through a loop. I have been obsessing over if I’m a closeted lesbian, which led me to start questioning if I even like girls at all. And it’s been very hard to deal with and I don’t know how\whether to talk to my boyfriend or not

[@christinas.3461]

@@mashylasmith7228 the comphet stuff got me too!! I related to much of it. Realized later on tho that my “I hate men and they’re gross” stemmed more from trauma and avoidant attachment than anything else. It’s complex, glad I’m not alone. There seriously needs to be more conversations around this. Since being more open about my queerness I have talked to many women/femmes who are also bi with ocd/rocd

[@mashylasmith7228]

@@christinas.3461 I’m curious to know if you’re still going through this? I’m feeling bad for being stuck in this perpetual state of questioning while being with my boyfriend. I also don’t know how or what to say :/

[@mashylasmith7228]

@@christinas.3461 I feel like I’ve been questioning for a while and it’s really been whopping my ass lol it’s making me question my attraction to anyone really, and it’s ruining my sex drive which is in turn affecting my boyfriend in a way :/

[@TB-ux8by]

Thank you so much for your video! You are so real and so compassionate! Made me cry because you understand this disease and that we all deserve love ❤️

[@leslied1125]

I have actually been avoiding dating for years now because of my HOCD and now I’m supposed to date as part of my ERP. I just cannot bring myself to date right now. I feel like I need to start with less stressful exposures.🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[@geminimoon3456]

I'm in the same boat. I haven't brought myself yet to either. When my OCD is manageable it seems really possible, but then as soon as I have a bad day I shut the idea down again. hang in there! you're not alone

[@excelsior6473]

gosh!! i feel this so hard, i didn't even realise this was a compulsion.

[@Dub_97]

How’s everything now ?

[@gabriellahardy6636]

@@geminimoon3456you are not alone x 6 years for me

[@giselle3383]

Hi Chrissie, actually I think there is a subject that would be really interresting to talk about. Indeed, you could maybe talk about the relation between porn and mirror neurons because it could be really helpful to people who have hocd for example. p.s: Thank you for your videos, you actually help a lot people

[@quorauser-b1t]

what is it?

[@jayswand]

You’re amazing Chrissie!Love yer ❤️

[@lister11811]

Hi Jay you seem to very popular on Chrissie videos and your posts. Do you have any advice as I have severe ocd from what my therapist says but I believe I know i am Gay these days can people realise this is true at the end of therapy and HOCD can mean you age because I feel I know I am and want it. Can this happen. Any advice would great

[@jayswand]

@@lister11811 Hi Adam, this is compulsive!Go toward accepting uncertainty!😉 Jay

[@lister11811]

Hi Jay, thanks for this. I am better than I was since we last spoke as I was hospitalised due to been suicidal. When we lost contact you were the only person I had and just lost my mind when I wasn’t able to speak to you and couldn’t of asked for someone to take the time to speak with me as it meant a lot as I was on my own. Really wish we could speak again even if just over messages.I am in therapy now and trying my best but struggling as I was told OCD meant I wasn’t but seem to have picked up that can been diagnosed with OCD and this be true. I really wish you would just give me a second chance to speak as proper sent me to a point of know return when I lost contact with you... it might come across sad but you were all I had in terms of been able to speak to someone but I I am lot better than I was before I can assure you that.

[@petera4802]

Chrissie, I've had so-ocd since I was 18 and it's still with me now many years later. I used to think when I was symptom free it would never come back, but then out of the blue it would show up and rear it's ugly head. My therapist warned me that ocd would always be with me but it wasn't until I heard it from you that I've come to accept it. I'm reshaping my mindset to accept this condition and your experiences and advice is helping me do that. Thank you for all your efforts and support.

[@haydensmith-se3ii]

how r u now

[@parker.s.9830]

Thanks so much for this video. This theme is awful. It ruined a lot in my life. I am in a moment in which groinal is bigger than attraction. Groinal has filled it all. I'd say I stopped feeling attraction. It's terrifying. There's a lot of shame and guilt also. I stopped dating and having sex years ago. I just think it's not fair for those women to deal with a guy like me and that's so frustrating and even sad. I spent years and years on therapy talking about my childhood, past, memories, feelings and doubts.

[@AS-qj4ex]

Needed this video so much! Thank you!

[@Nimi856]

Thank you for everything!! you are amazing, this is the first time i feel understood

[@mativataoipu3336]

Hi Chrissie!! I'm a new subscriber and you've really helped me over the last few months when I was spiraling into severe depression❤ I was wondering if you would ever do a video on social anxiety and ocd in general and also as it might relate to pocd.

[@valy993]

My thoughts came from "your friend will all leave you" (and OCD made it happen unfortunately) to "what if I'm not straight" to "what if I'm trans/non-binary/something else" it's awful. Now it's a bit HOCD again and TOCD

[@haydensmith-se3ii]

how r u now

[@valy993]

@@haydensmith-se3ii hi! now I'm okay! I've recovered from OCD

[@haydensmith-se3ii]

@@valy993 that’s amazing, how long did it take for you to recover from HOCD and how did u do it?

[@valy993]

@@haydensmith-se3ii It Took almost a year to fully recover...I did It Watching KZbin videos on this Channel and other channels like Ali Greymond. It was a hard and suffering journey

[@haydensmith-se3ii]

@@valy993 yeah i’m currently struggling, how long did it take until you started to notice the thoughts decrease?

[@elizabethgrey2168]

14:00 got me bauling my eyes out.

[@kiersten_elizabeth]

i’ve dealt with HOCD for years 🥺 if any of you need any help or need anyone to talk to, i’m here for you!

[@lister11811]

I need help my therapist said Hocd people can realise they are Gay I have been diagnosed with severe ocd but feel I know I am Gay and so confused now as my therapist said it’s ocd and I am not. So confused

[@kiersten_elizabeth]

@@lister11811 so, what do you identify as ? (straight, gay, etc . )

[@lister11811]

I identify as straight but now seriously confused as I feel I know I am gay and j have been saying for months can someone with Hocd realise they are Gay and then my therapist said you can have HOcD and realise you are Gay am I just scared now because I know I am and has been denial and every thought of doing things with a man seems like I want it, have a been misled as I was always told that having Hocd meant I wasn’t gay but then if you can realise this is true then can I be Gay and be a killer,

[@kiersten_elizabeth]

@@lister11811 do you want to be straight? or gay?

[@lister11811]

I want to be straight I am so confused as my therapist says It’s HOCD and I am not so does Hocd mean we are not or could it be true? I thought hocd mean we weren’t from what articles say and therapist and 6 therapists have said this is just ocd and I am not so can people realise

[@samanthacarolina4006]

Something that really tends to help me when my OCD brain takes over is comparing the dreams I have of being with the opposite sex . So like I’m a female and I identify as straight , and in my dreams when I don’t tend to overthink or let my OCD control me , I feel happiness and love in my dreams with the opposite sex. As in when I do have dreams about being with the same sex, I get into fear and wake up automatically. That’s one thing that has helped realize that my OCD brain tries to take over .

[@Dub_97]

How are you now 🤞🏽?

[@haydensmith-se3ii]

@@Dub_97do u suffer from HOCD?

[@4N9E1]

Thank you so much for this 💖

[@darceygetty8573]

I always think to myself what if I’m gay but I don’t want to be gay and it’s genuinely because I absolutely do not want to ever be gay and I’m attracted to males I see myself with a male for the rest of my life I just hate that my mind makes me feel like I’m attracted to females but I know myself that if a female tried it with me I would say no to her so is this ocd?

[@Dub_97]

Could be hocd. if you question your orientation. How are you now ?? 🙏🏾

[@IK7.]

Ocd basically has me cornered and I feel like I just turned gay after having it for 7 months. How is this possible? Its hard to tell if its even hocd at this point, I was so straight and comfortable in my own skin before this but It has me convinced that I was secretly gay all my life and never realized it. Ive self diagnosed myself with hocd and my therapist did too, But i think it was all a misunderstanding. This truly feels like denial and thought of being in denial gives me more anxiety. It feels like even If i do recover from this, In the future Ill realize Im into guys and not girls and ill be living a life of lie. Honestly ive given up,im just gonna end my life so the shit cant turn me gay.

[@abbilolzz416]

When you see an attractive man do you immediately get scared that you are attracted to him and start overthinking and doing mental or physical compulsions to prove that you are straight or do you find pleasure when you see an attractive male?

[@IK7.]

@@abbilolzz416 I panic and my anxiety skyrockets, then I get stuck in my head ruminating on auto pilot and it feels more and more like Im turning gay then the thoughts give me arousals. It feels like this is a stage before realizing one is gay. I cant make sense of my own thoughts,

[@IK7.]

@@abbilolzz416 Yes, I do mental compulsions, Im scared if I let the thoughts and arousals be, Ill turn gay. Sometimes its almost like a gut feeling that im gay and like guys but I get depressed thinking about it. This hocd has taken a whole new level if that is whats even happening to me I dont know

[@abbilolzz416]

@@IK7. Ik this isn’t gonna help a whole bunch but dude you definitely have hocd because if you were gay in denial you would not think and do the things you do because when someone is gay and in denial they like the feeling they feel when seeing someone of the same gender they just hate themselves for liking it people with hocd don’t like the feeling at all and like you said you panic about it and it gives you anxiety so you have hocd and your not gay and don’t worry I’m going through the same thing you are actually sometimes I feel like I’m actually lesbian and I have this weird feeling that in my stomach that makes me believe I like girls but Ik it’s not true and what sucks more is that I’m going through this at the age we’re ppl are confused about this but anyways you aren’t gay you are straight and you definitely have hocd

[@lister11811]

Hi I am really suffering at the moment I am been diagnosed with severe OCD by over 6 therapists and going through therapy but I the more and more I do therapy I am more convinced I am gay, you say gay people in denial know they are gay then just ashamed they like the thoughts but this is how I feel at the moment I feel when I see a guy I use to get Intrusive thought of a sexual nature with everyone but now when I picture myself kissing a man, touching him etc it’s like I know I want it. All my thoughts come from thinking about receiving penetration and feeling what’s it’s like and I feel I know I want it. This s is what scares me can someone with HOCD realise they are Gay as I feel Chrissie says this doesn’t happen and other therapists. So confused

[@lister11811]

Hi I am really confused as I have been diagnosed with severe HOcD but feel I know I am, i always believe Hocd meant we weren’t these thoughts but can they be true as I feel I know I have an attraction towards men and want it. I was with a girl for 10 years but now I am thinking am I gay with ocd? All my therapists says this is Jusy ocd and I am not but I feel I know I am so can someone realise this is true at the end of therapy. Can hocd mean you are Gay and this

[@Nicole-yx8ms]

How are you doing now?

[@TC-jx1bh]

Hi I’m struggling with both an old porn addiction and intrusive thoughts that stemmed from it. I clicked the link in ur bio but it said there was an error

[@ChrissieHodgesPureOCDAdvocate]

Hi there Tia-thank you for pointing out the error with the website. We are working to fix that right away, and in the meantime you can find out more information at chrissiehodges.com.

[@TC-jx1bh]

@@ChrissieHodgesPureOCDAdvocate okay thank you :)

[@ChrissieHodgesPureOCDAdvocate]

@@TC-jx1bh You're welcome! The link should be working now.

[@douglasd327]

None of these topics apply to me luckily. I'm sure it'll help someone out there, I hope it does. Imma go watch Michael says prime numbers for 3 hours( yes that vid does exist.) 😖🤨🤭😆😂✌

[@mel5282]

i have your book!

[@cecelpstv]

How are u doing now?

[@emamtonoy3340]

Confession was a trap. Wow, thats makes sense

[@wolvesgirl1565]

I've always seen myself as a lesbian, but every once in awhile see myself fining some men attractive, and now I'm questioning if I'm bi or straight. But I honestly don't really like the idea of dating men, or sleeping with them, or even get turned on by them. Just finding a few hot once in awhile. So, I don't know if it's OCD or not. Advice?

[@jeff6413]

Sounds like you're homoromantic if you only want to date women. Possibly bisexual with a strong preference for women and occasional attraction for men. I've heard the term "bi lesbian" to describe this. Or it could be that you notice when a man is good looking without wanting to sleep with him. In the same way I notice when a woman is pretty (I'm a gay man). Or....could be an OCD theme. I'm a gay man who has OCD, just not this theme.

[@scrappymitchell]

I have friends who are lesbians but will say if they think a guy is good looking etc. it's a very human thing to recognise if someone is handsome/good looking without wanting any kind of relations with them. what you're going through might be a mix of OCD and internalised homophobia as I think the two can go hand in hand. deep down you know who you are, the fact you're fearing this without any hint of actually liking it suggests the thoughts are more intrusive! it's very common with people of all sexualities :)

[@ng6046]

I would really like to talk to you. Is there a way that I can contact you at all?

[@mel5282]

by email it’s usually in her description box or through instagram

[@addd345]

please get medicaid to cover nocd

[@sweet_nerds73]

I tried doing the exposures for the past few days and mannnnnnn!!!! I’m fine for one minute I think to myself “yea this is fine. See I’m talking to a girl and I’m completely fine. Nothing wrong.” and my mind says “OMG STOP LYING TO URSELF! YOURE GONNA TURN GAY!” and then I retreat and I get scared again. Today I even try not to do a compulsion check but sadly did. I kept checking. “ do I like her? Do I think she’s pretty? Do I see her in a sexual or romantic way? Agh what if I do? Do I leave my boyfriend? Do I want to kiss her?” And I get so frustrated and so many headaches and some anxious moments here and there and “ my girl” down there is always just messing with me!! Ugh it even lower my sex drive. So upset. Wish I was back to the way I was.

[@lister11811]

what so she said you could be gay then?

[@sweet_nerds73]

​@@lister11811 She said dealing with this type of ocd we might never know. I surely think I'm not gay. I still get my anxiety coming up a little on this type of topic but idk. I just know I still want to be with my boyfriend and love him.

[@dmn4747]

Thank you so much for saying we didn't ask for this and it's an illness. I made the mistake of telling my mom some about my OCD and she just kept saying you just need to get over that and stop letting normal negativity take over your life. Your problem is you're an over thinker. Snap out of it everyone has negative and anxious thoughts. It was useless to try to explain to her that when it's bad when it flares up I feel so trapped in my head I'm a slave to it and still there was just no understanding. Also I mentioned a theme and she cAme at me with the classic worst case scenario of,well honey of you're having these thoughts this intensely maybe there's truth to it. Ahhhhhhh!

[@TSJ99]

Wow, I’m sorry to hear that. That sounds super annoying to deal with. Hopefully you have someone else to talk to that is a bit more understanding 🙏🏼

[@scrappymitchell]

I'm bisexual, it took me a while to accept my sexuality but deep down I know it's part of my identity and is something I really embrace. However, whenever I have intrusive thoughts around the topic of POCD which was triggered off after watching a disturbing true crime doc, my mind is comparing to my initial denial of being bisexual/figuring my sexuality out to these intrusive thoughts, it's very very horrific to try and ignore and is now in the process trying to make me convince myself that my whole sexuality is either just a lie or the POCD is just AS real as my sexuality. it's like a losing battle, has anyone else ever had their sexuality brought into question due to a different form of OCD???

[@profitpandits.]

How did you knew you are bi? Like i am suffering from hocd..from the last one year...before this i never doubted my sexuality...and i never got romantic or sexually attracted to any guy..before hocd but after hocd...it just ruined me...pls tell me...wht to do...like i am male 20.

[@marc-andrelazure1679]

Thank you so much Chrissie, I really needed this. Excellent video as always.

[@ziondavidson6294]

You’re so amazing chrissy. Thank you for everything you’re doing x