Sfia, Xenos, Arthars | Why Women Don't Join to HC/well-know World Prog Raid Groups in FFXIV

[@MrCarlWax]

I can't wait for Xenos to watch this and paus every 5s to argue with 1/5th of a sentence.

[@hinapls]

I'll be waiting. To pick it apart for defamation charges towards him IF he wants to yell at me like he did behind videos instead of reaching out to have a civil conversation, if he disagrees, like a normal person

[@TeriiTeri]

@@hinapls ???

[@Virtual_C_]

​@@hinapls😂

[@booblaa9734]

​@@hinaplsgiga based he gets a pass from a community of brain rotted twitch viewers far too often.

[@one_eyeddd473]

Stop mixing personal life with gamin friends if u dont want drama. This is not a community issue stop trying to make it one

[@lockheartmac]

omfg, this is sounds awful. I'm sorry you had/have to go through this. Time and time again, online personalities prove they are not who they portray themselves to be. From the little I have seen of Sfia, he always carried himself as a diligent gamer, but he just weaponized his followers to protect himself. I wanted to like Arthars but something about they way he speaks and talks about his wife never sat well with me. Xenos doesn't look like the kind of person I would feel comfortable around either. I hate to judge a book by its cover, but they often prove themselves as awful as they appear.

[@EbonySeraphim]

From what I can tell the summary of issues with top end raiders that are uninviting for women are: rampant thirst, immoral relationship behavior, abusive relationship behavior, harassment, and sexual misconduct. My advice: start with that as a summary, then separate the last one, maybe two from the others. Everything except criminal harassment and sexual miconduct (and worse) are not useful conversations for public consumption. And those two aren't great for public consumption either unless it has a trial-like focus on the issues.d on the platforms. If you're gonna discuss those issues, no trash talk show drama BS that can't tell the difference between a woman scorned by a terrible man, versus sexism. The two are very different, even if that man happens to also be sexist. I also think everyone needs to stay the heck out of speaking on specific relationships and what are moral / boundary violations may have happened between specific couples; and yes, even though cheating involves a third person thats just one or two separate cases of boundary violations between pairs. I don't care if it's plain as day true and people caught some dude cheating in 4k, we (the public) don't really care unless we're consuming this drama like entertainment and that's bad for moral heatlh. And I don't think anyone who's suffered through these events wants to know people are consuming their stories like entertainment either. It's not going towards any sort of meaningful result if you can't prove it in a court of law, and you aren't protecing relevant women from social depravity or risks that might actually need the warnings of particular people. Those warnings can be done privately, and is far more convincing that way.

[@MakotoYuki1992]

God damn, I actually remember Advent Union back in my Levithan day.

[@hinapls]

OG leviathan!!~

[@KushielMontreve]

Advent Union! Classic Leviathan squad, I was part of Royalz/Nostalgia for the back half of ARR. Hard to believe it's been so long. Moved to cactuar for heavensward, but I'll never forget those Leviathan days

[@hinapls]

@@KushielMontreve Heyyy!!! Drex is like one of my besties :") Actually the oldest friend I have from this game so far ^^

[@KushielMontreve]

@@hinapls Awesome! Drex was super cool to play with, glad you guys are friends!

[@CineGoodog]

Nowadays it is easier to find girls which sfia did not tried to flirt with.

[@C.Cer.]

I got yelled at in a Community Service Discord VC for calling out the friends who initially helped me get into Savage back in ShB? that their precious ACT and Logs will always matter more to them then it ever will to me after they falsely accused me of being quote " greedy DPS " when I don't make it a mission to wipe (random)prog/clear/reclear parties for a shiny parse like they do. That yelling was borderline " misogynistic " I don't think they would have yelled like that at any other guy in that Discord... but they did to me, mhm. This is something I notice " Online ? I guess well I'm not really that social in RL... but thinking of the games I played? - Revelation online - ArcheAge online - Black Desert online - League of Legends Where shot-callers can get intense and rude... If their intention is so because they want " us collectively to win " they can honestly yell as much as they want. But when it's unfair... or different treatment of certain players... I notice it done a lot more to girls where they get demonized way harder, even when they do the same things male players do or even having opinions like male players. - Gear Carried - Buncha simps protecting her in open world - Support player, must be a Girl Like - RNG enhancements doesn't discriminate - A guild protects guild members? regardless of orientation - So what if I play support? statistically there are more male enchanter supports then women ** Block / Ignore / Blacklist ** When I started in XIV, my expectation was of this star sparkling award winning community... Where it these people don't exist. But, I was rather naive... cause Online people remain Online people... - Harassment based on your in game appearance - Or based on your perceived RL orientation - Stalking, all the way to my in game houses... - I block but they harass my house tour visitors - Unwanted Sexual DM's on my 1st day playing - I've gotten 15 unwanted Sexual DM's in game & XIV Discord's so far I've not shown a single picture of myself anywhere, but I guess my demeanor of " Don't touch me " and " No RP " in game? or hell being the fictional race I play? A Girl raider? idk what it is... but people are to thirsty for their own good. FFXIV is a game. Come home from RL or work or what have you... and unwind and/or have fun. Its not a dating simulator... its not a sex simulator... and you don't force sexual anything onto others. Keep that in the degenerate circles where they allow/belong/encourage that stuff. It is somehow to much to ask of other players to treat each-other with equal respect... That's just what it is. I'm not even hardcore high-end raiding? I don't join parse parties... But after being DPS shamed with the logs I got now? and yelled at by my own friend infront of friends in VC for having a different opinion? I can imagine after playing in other competitive PvP mmo's how it could get very sexist.

[@sarron7612]

Thank you for sharing this story. It is unbelievable that these players are making other player’s experiences miserable. It’s easy to not be weird with your fellow raiders just because of gender. I hope this wakes the community up to call out bad actors. Again thank you for being so brave❤

[@VidulaSaix]

I think for me, the thing that a lot of people aren't understanding is that while they actually do believe women should be supported, this need to always come out on top with a "But that's not what I was saying so let me clarify" makes it all sound so insincere. I could understand if this was a situation where someone was accused of something and there was just nothing from them about it because hey, anyone can lie. However, in this case Sfia himself quite literally admitted to his cheating being an ongoing problem and yet somehow there are people like Xeno who pull up with the "I need to see some proof" even though it was already confirmed from the accused very own words. The inability to treat things as something other than content for stream has truly poisoned a lot of peoples brains.

[@KajitaniEizan]

That's not what he needed to see the proof about though, and it was for a thing that actually did involve him/his friend circle So a lot of this is talking past each other

[@IKIGAIofficial]

Why not make your own groups then

[@hinapls]

We have. It's not about "How do we avoid these problem". It's more on the side of: this is how we raise awareness when the very people causing the problem goes: "I wonder why women don't join us more"

[@hammertime2455]

Listen before you speak.

[@retzerbil867]

I'm very torn rn. I looked up to xeno a lot and really enjoyed his content. Don't really know what to think after the whole Twitter situation

[@hinapls]

From your perspective, If I had someone I really liked and looked up and found out they were making jokes on very heavy topics , and basically, being an asshole towards situation/farming content that they had no rigth to "farm" to begin with. And the majority of the female community angry at him (It's not us when he's the main one that's being hated by a WHOLE bunch of strangers). I'd evaluate what it is that you valued about him as a person, or things that he did. Does it align with your values anymore? In the same way that I immediately cut off Gorilian recently, someone that gave xenos about $7k+ in gifted subs to be Xeno's friend. To find out that my gut feeling was right. This "friend" creeped on multiple women for YEARS. Whatever you choose, I'm sure it'll be right for you.

[@retzerbil867]

​​@@hinaplsI found him funny and informative. Never really liked how he would often instantly shut down differing opinions and kind of mean that he is correct. Although I found myself agreeing with what he was saying about always needing proof; I learned that this situation is not the one to try and preach it. I now have a whole new perspective on this type of argument in this context after speaking with a female friend that was very upset with him and I didn't really understand at first, but I think I do now. This whole situation taught me a lot actually and how naive/ignorant/priveleged my view was and I'm actually kind of disappointed in myself after talking with my friend and hearing her side.

[@DarrellMontrice]

@@retzerbil867 Remember Xeno does the Asmon strat of acting like his personality is a "act" while saying shit he actually thinks. He can fencesit on whatever he wants while the people defending him will curve the truth no matter what is said. Nobody should look up to any of these guys as they are all monsters in the background. Im no different I sling hardR around and am incredibly homophobic in XIV discord raid runs but so are a ton of others who are running lgbtq clubs and shit on servers.

[@CineGoodog]

I always though he swas shady with all that Limit Max situation

[@thenekomancer1748]

extremely disappointing how Xeno tried to make the situation only about Sfia to deflect when it wasnt going the way he wanted to, then tried to virtue signal even harder by suggesting some kind of podcast..... very out of touch and transparent

[@KushielMontreve]

Thank you for sharing your story, I'm sorry that so many people continue with their disgusting and abhorrent behavior. Seems like it's too big of an ask for many men to just enjoy playing games with women instead of trying to date them.

[@creativechannelhandle]

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