Shadow the Hedgehog and Autism

[@MilkyWayGrump]

"I am autistic, what Sonic fan isnt" followed by THAT image should be classified as a war crime

[@SailorAnthy]

I feel personally attacked but also I want one pls and ty

[@kaleidoscope224]

@@MilkyWayGrump Timestamp? :)

[@DR.Narbacular]

⁠@@kaleidoscope2240:38 :)

[@kaleidoscope224]

@@DR.Narbacular Not sonichu 😭

[@Bluetiful_]

I'm a fan who isn't autistic. Nothing wrong with that sweetie

[@mizv4043]

Maria did say he had trouble expressing himself. She embraces him as is too. This makes their relationship more wholesome

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

Well put! ♥♥

[@jennypagan6120]

Or maybe he's just an introvert?

[@inesatt1313]

​@@jennypagan6120 He is

[@jennypagan6120]

@@inesatt1313 yea no shit

[@CoralCopperHead]

@@jennypagan6120 See that flower?

[@lavender9844]

“So true” I say, holding my Shadow plushie, in my Shadow sweatshirt, on the way to my third showing of Sonic 3

[@RoseBerryYeeps]

ikr 😭

[@TheFourthEmperorOfTheSea]

Halfway there!!! I’ve got multiple plushies, I’ve ordered the tshirt, and I’ve seen the movie once so far Update!!!: I got the Tshirt, 2 bracelets, and a squishmallow holding the Master Emerald(currently wearing the shirt and one of the bracelets while typing this and on my way to grab the squishmallow♥️🦔🖤⚡️)

[@MorganBennett]

Nice

[@Kurameno]

Because of the country I live in I have no shadow plushies but I managed to find a random silver plush and I’ve just bought tickets to my third showing :)

[@dirk-stridrogen-monoxide]

I brought out my shadow plushie....

[@Lethargy_Lottie]

Shadow being autistic as the Ultimate Lifeform will always put a little smile on my face.

[@Coolio_Ash]

So true

[@TheVaderSympathizer]

We are the future, not them. They no longer matter. ...Crap, wrong fandom.

[@TheMaxPotato]

we r just cool like that 😎

[@nrg6245]

Also we have ADHD too just saying

[@Mr_LongSchlong]

@@nrg6245accurate

[@BroGuy420]

For me, shadow's story sort of represents ptsd. Trying to do something important while you cant shake something that happened. In an effort to run away from it, hes often trying to be a hero, because he couldnt for maria. Whether he realizes it or not alot of what he does is influenced by what happened to him, even when his memories are altered. I can easily relate it to my experience. His forced tough personality and apathy is just a protective habit because he doesnt want to connect with someone, then lose them.... like maria. This reflects my own personality. I think his story is genius because it can be interpreted ao many ways, so shadow can be relatable to alot of people.

[@kbittyy]

he's autistic w ptsd to me, i love shadows story so much

[@personwhoexistsdotcom]

He also gives me BPD coded, as someone whose dad had PTSD and BPD, Shadow reminds me a lot of him (in the best way)

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

very well said! much love ♥

[@Portia-c5s]

@personwhoexists-dv1reoh yeah, the attachment trauma is real with him.

[@Ge-i3o]

I completely agree, I never thought I would cry so much because I read a comment about Shadow😭❤‍🩹

[@Legacy-b5e]

I’ve been diagnosed with autism my entire life, however never really understood what that meant. Up until recently I thought it was just an amp to my anxiety, and it’s not like anybody really ever explained it to me. The Sonic series is definitely my favorite… honestly franchise ever. Shadow is definitely my favorite character, and I most definitely won’t shut up about the Sonic series. Very good video in all honesty

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

@Legacy-b5e thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️

[@ZER0H0UR333]

My theory is cloud from specifically the remake of ff7 is also autistic, he has alot of traits that align extremely closely and even has his own special interest being soldier and the shinra military as a whole that forces his entire personality to be based on those things even when talking to the party about dates or food preferences

[@alicesacco9329]

I can a little bit relate with this. But, from what I understand, you were told you were autistic but they didn't bother to explain (perhaps, they didn't understand fully what it was, so they preferred to avoid to risk to say wrong things). In my case, I realized something was off at 3 (the age I got the diagnosis) and at 5 I already questioned adults wondering if I was different. They always lied to me telling me: "no" "everybody is different" and so on until I gave up. Got my answer only at 13. Just because I've read Sunrise on my own and I got interested in autism.

[@emmeownelan2076]

With the amount of autistic people who love this series, there's undoubtedly a lot of us that love every character in the series. That said, Shadow has always been my favourite, from his design, to his character, to his backstory, I just have an extremely strong attachment to him. So much so he's what caused my gravitation to antiheroes and other complex, morally grey character archetypes.

[@caiacw]

I don't have a diagnosis and so I don't want to claim that I'm Autistic, however I have my reasons to believe that I am and Shadow does, in fact, resonate with me a lot. I've had this connection with him ever since I can remember and I know that he's more than simply my favorite character. This video is very accurate and it makes me feel less alone. Thank you!

[@whisperingdorito1456]

If the lable of autism gives you any comfort, then as someone who's been diagnosed their entire life, I say go for it! I can't speak for everyone but personally, if it helps you define yourself and you're not rude to other people, I don't see a reason not to accept you as a part of the community, if that's what you want!

[@caiacw]

@ These words are very comforting to read and I thank you, but I’m a very correct person and it still feels wrong to me to confidently say that I’m Autistic when I don’t have a diagnosis. My neurodivergent friends share my suspicions and they already claimed me ahah but I’d rather be more closed about it until I get a proper diagnosis 🙏

[@Flame-h6n]

​@whisperingdorito1456 wow this helped me feel better.... I'm pretty sure I'm autistic but not diagnosed. Shadow is a huge comfort.

[@SimplyTypicalMe]

@whisperingdorito1456this honestly made me feel better, thank you!! Cause I want to get a diagnosis but it’s expensive and I have my reasons that I am autistic (Sonic being #1 lol) I also follow this KZbinr who said something like “no one goes walking around thinking their autistic if they’re not autistic” and that helped too

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

♥♥♥

[@ozgho09]

"If you relate in any way" literally every single thing you said about not knowing who you really were resonated so deeply i began to cry. so, yeah, i relate.

[@F4NGZonF1R3]

The shadow poster watches me sleep

[@KeganLeavess]

I really like the way you explained about dying with nobody remembering the real you. While I was diagnosed much younger, around 9 or 10 years old with much difficulty, my masking has become a second nature to me and only slips its grip when I'm around immediate family and my therapist. Even then though, I'm a much different person when I'm alone. I'm louder, more expressive and excited, but it only comes out when the general vicinity is completely vacant of any other human being, because my masking is like a defense mechanism. Even when I let parts of myself slip out, it's still a filtered version of them, one meant to express what I'm thinking to some extent, but not enough to completely lay it bare. Even after I go on long rants or express my enjoyment of something personal, I feel awful for doing so after, like I've wasted everyone's time and showed way too much of my real self. Unlearning masking, if that's even something someone would want to achieve, is a lifelong process, and it hurts a lot. Shadow has always been one of my favourite characters of all time (specifically, he's my second favourite, only being beaten by Soundwave from Transformers), and every few years I find myself falling back into the Sonic franchise at high speeds and remembering how much I missed these characters and stories. My family went to see Sonic 3 with me, something I was initially very nervous about because I was sharing something so cherished/integral to my identity with other people, but they ended up having a very good time and my sister even listened patiently and asked me questions as I nonstop talked about Shadow's story and his important moments within the games. I didn't even realize it until a couple hours after watching the movie, but it suddenly hit me how important Shadow is to me. It's easy to look back on one or two memories and go "yeah, I like him", but Sonic 3 reminded me the full extent of it, reawakening buried memories that I had forgotten with time. He was my profile picture on discord for a long time, I transcribed all his dialogue within the games because I wanted to have those references on hand, there are countless pages and loose papers that have doodles of Shadow all over them (many of which were drawn during class or when I was lonely). As cheesy as it might be to say, Shadow was a character who was there for me when I had nobody else to turn to. My complicated feelings, my loneliness, my many identity crisises: he was there as an outlet and a character who reminded me of myself. I wholeheartedly believe that without him, I would not be who I am today. Thank you for sharing your experiences and feelings, while I don't have the exact same circumstances surrounding my own autistic journey, you're not alone with your difficulties and not alone with having Shadow mean so much to your own identity.

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

❤️❤️❤️

[@Silcomb]

you could say "This is who I am!" :3

[@Jordynfection]

goodness i can relate a lot to this too i found out about my diagnosis just before i turned 13, but despite that i never really understood much about autism (besides the basic social issues and differences in expressing emotion and stuff) until the past few months as i felt inclined to look into it more i don't know a whole lot about masking at the moment but things like this make me realize that maybe i have been subconsciously doing that for as long as i can remember if you were to meet me i'd probably strike you as a pretty quiet and shy person... even among people i see often i generally don't talk that much.. there's always some feeling of... fear or embarrassment? i don't know... i'm always worried people'll judge me if i express too much or they'll just find me horribly annoying and yet when i'm by myself or with someone super close like my brother (who's also autistic so he shares traits with me) i'm much more expressive and feel much more free to be myself i never thought of myself as one to seek approval or acceptance from others but... i guess i always have been subconsciously afraid of being rejected or shunned or made fun of or something for who i am... so i end up trying to find ways to fit in with everyone else (i noticed that hard the other day when i was laughing with my dad about something but realized i didn't even get the joke in the first place) i don't know i'm not the best with words or expressing myself like this... probably because i don't have a lot of practice with it... maybe this comment will just seem super long-winded and confusing to you but just know i find it really comforting that i can relate to someone

[@KeganLeavess]

@ It's wonderful to hear that you can relate to my comment, and that's one of the great things about sharing experiences: it helps people realize that they're not alone in their challenges. Masking is something that can be done without realizing it ever happened, because it's a way for autistic people to conform to what's deemed as "socially acceptable" and protect ourselves from any perceived threats (even if those threats are just rejection). It can be scary to deal with those experiences on your own, and it's why community is so important. And welcome to the Sonic fanbase! We're always happy to have new faces engage with our favourite hedgehogs :)

[@Jordynfection]

@ you're so sweet thank you so much for the warm welcome!! it's been a bit hard for me because i've never been a part of any kind of autistic community or anything... but it's really nice to learn more about autism and people's experiences with it and as a result learn more about myself (especially now that i'm at a point in my life where i urgently need to discover who i really am... it's really helpful and comforting) :3

[@some._.human8511]

Finding this video felt like fate because I literally just came back from watching the third Sonic movie and I'm already obsessed with Shadow despite only being a Sonic fan for a few months. AND I'M AUTISTIC!!!!

[@TheFiteShow]

welcome to the family

[@subtleshenanigans5983]

Similar for me; after seeing the first movie I started getting into it and the lore more - Sonic Boom is a really funny show btw - I’m autistic, I was diagnosed at age 11, but it was a huuuuge fight.

[@rowanknighthood7255]

As some whose has ASD - I can safely say that whether Shadow has a canonical disorder in the Sonic Universe or not - the actions of what one chooses to become make it all the more noticeable. So I empathetically relate to your life experiences, anyone can relate to Shadow and hopefully you'll improve like I will in order to become evidently better versions of ourselves. ❤👍🌠

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

well said ❤ much love ❤️

[@mariomana]

Agree 👍

[@wheeliescoot]

beautiful video. I've always enjoyed the element of shadow's character arc, where he puts up a front to hide how scared and lonely he really is. He's a reflective and introverted person and he feels he needs to play the part of a villain to get the upper hand and not experience that traumatic loss again. and i never realized how identical that feeling is to masking, and how much I relate to that feeling. I'm glad you made this video, and i'm glad i took some time to watch it! thanks !

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you so much!

[@willem6605]

As someone who hasn't been diagnosed, but been going through a similar crisis of identity, this really hit me in the feels. You deserve so much more attention for something so emotional, and for being so brave to speak about your experiences out here on the public internet. It really made me think about some things and probably will for a little while. Thank you

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you so much! it means a lot, genuinely ♥♥

[@pizzatime3752]

I was diagnosed with autism, PTSD, and a rare, progressive neurodegenerative disease very close to eachother. I can’t even express the emotions I had during that time, but one of the things that kept me afloat was the Sonic franchise. I used to dislike Shadow as a kid, but once being diagnosed with everything and feeling the anger, grief, fear, and uncertainty that came along with it, I finally came to understand Shadow, and I adored Maria, who became a role model to me. It meant so much to me that Shadow’s character was written exactly the way it was. It meant so much to me that he had such a deep bond with Maria. It meant so much to me that Maria even existed, and that she had such an impact on Shadow’s life. Shadow gave me understanding, hope, compassion, and a comfort zone during a time in my life where everything was crashing down all around me. I wish people understood and saw the hurt side of Shadow more. People think he’s edgy, but I think he feels so much that all he can do sometimes is brood, lash out, and wish for a different present. He always remembers who he is and what his promise is though. I’m so glad Sonic 3 brought that personality back, even though they changed Maria’s story (which was a bummer for me. I love chronic illness representation). Shadow, to me, represents a survivor of grief, and a reminder that although the future may be different, you can still live your life and learn about your true self, no matter how long it takes and how windy the road is.

[@YfManiacsLmao]

Why is this not popular yet This is actually so peak Good job

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

@@YfManiacsLmao thank you! ❤️

[@gachakris3965]

AGREE!!!

[@LeafySkittle]

damn this video made me really self reflect. I clicked on this video because I'm an autistic Shadow fan that needs to hear every ounce of information about him. But it really made me think about myself on a deeper level in the end. I never realized that I was masking my entire life until I got myself diagnosed recently. I was an outcast at school and was seen as 'weird' because I would have deep special interests and that's all I would draw or talk about. I never realized that it was strange to be so attached to one thing that it engulfs your entire being wasn't normal. I'm still having a hard time grasping that normal people don't have that experience. I learned later in my teens that if I pretended to care about other things or not talk about what I was interested in, people liked me more. I started to have friends when I acted 'normally' at the cost of my social battery and energy running out really fast. I never really thought about how people would perceive me if I were to pass. Its interesting that some people will remember this fake version of me then the real me. Like wow.. Its... Sad in a way.

[@lj_animegames930]

As someone who thinks they have it but hasn't been diagnosed because my parents never wanted me to and as you said UK waiting lists are long this video surprisingly hit me hard and I can relate to a lot that was said. Interesting to think about tbh and makes something's actually make more sense. Also probably one of the reasons recently (as I've gotten older) I've come to like and relate to Shadow more. Probably one of the reasons why Sonic as a series is so special to me. Really awesome video btw!!

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

@@lj_animegames930 thank you so much ❤️

[@Livvie_27]

I also had really intense special interests growing up too! I haven’t really heard someone else talk about that. I always thought there was something wrong with me since I’d get so attached to certain characters. Thank you for the great video! I had forgotten a lot of the Shadow/Maria lore over the years so this was a great refresher!

[@SavithTV]

I'm 32, now. Sonic and especially Shadow meant a great deal to me during the Gamecube SA2 days. So my inner kid has been losing their mind over the Sonic 3 movie lmao. I didn't start on my journey to finding out I was autistic until during and after the Lockdown 2020 and things fell into place. I forgot I was "supposed" to smile, watch my tone, and to stop moving around so much, etc once I went back to work. In a lot of ways, I feel like I have a newfound social anxiety when it comes to interacting with people. I also find it difficult to figure out who I really am and to heal from any shame or trauma I have realizing I went my whole life being undiagnosed. Your story and journey definitely resonated a lot with me and I relate. Grateful to my wife who also seems to be the only person I can be my true self around. Always related to and loved Shadow and Maria. It really is underappreciated how spending time with people who allow us to be our true selves is so vital and healing because hiding so many aspects of yourself into burnout is horrible. It's taken me years to recover, and still having a rough time. Love the video, props to you. So glad you made it about this topic, too.

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you so much ♥ these things aren't easily talked about let alone navigated. In my experience, so far, there's a major lack of support available when it comes to issues like these that don't generally appear as the 'typical' (ironic, I know) idea of the signs of Autism, so it's so true that the support systems we find in the people we hold closest become so vitally important. despite the challenges, a lifetime spent surrounded by people like that is a lifetime worth living tenfold ♥

[@StarbitO]

I'm also a late-diagnosed autistic person, and I'm a new Sonic fan :) I just watched the third movie without any prior knowledge of anything, and I loved it. I've also always struggled with really intense special interests and hyperfixations. The movie basically saved me from my previous hyperfixation which was extremely niche and I had nobody to talk about it with. It's nice to have an interest for once that actually has a huge fandom. Any topic or piece of media I like takes over my entire being for months or even years on ends. It can be fulfilling, but a lot of the time it's just torturous. I also struggle with masking. When I make a new friend, I subconsciously completely mirror them and hide or fabricate entire parts of my personality just to become more likable to them. For a long time I didn't know where the mask ended and my actual self started. Over the past few years, this inability to be honest has actually gotten me into some awful situation where I was stuck with people I had nothing in common with and didn't even like, just because I subconsciously became exactly what they wanted from me. It's hard, but I try to be myself around other people more. I'm always surprised when I act in a way that I know most people would maybe find odd around my friends, but they just find it endearing instead. It is hard, but I am trying :>

[@SazulyOfficial]

After hearing your story, I really connect with what you said. I feel like so many people categorize autism into one thing and just REFUSE to except the fact that there are different symptoms. I have felt the same way about my whole life honestly about all the stuff you mentioned especially the personality thing. Everyone around me has never heard me out in times when I’ve mentioned that i might be autistic. Thanks for the video it was pretty great.😊

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

♥♥♥

[@LucyForrest-o2i]

I love how shadow encourages people who feel like outsiders in today's world.

[@pinesandpies]

This video is absolutely amazing and sums up how i feel as well. Last year I was diagnosed with autism, it felt like I discovered apart of myself yet realized everything-even who i was-was simply a lie I've told everyone. I struggled with trying to unmask, and had believed that I *am* the mask and that there was never a real me. I couldnt figure out who I was and if I was even someone with an identity, I would describe myself as an actor who never gives up character. And it felt even more damning when I knew no one knew the real me either, they all just had ideas of who I was but were never right. Yet Shadow felt like a breath of fresh air-I always felt as if he was going through just what I was going through. I always saw him as someone struggling with his identity, and who he really is. He keeps being told he's something, even if it isnt who he truly is. And the song "I Am All of Me" means so much to me because it just shows how Shadow came to the decision that he is *all* of him, the real him. Sorry if this makes like zero sense to it but it's how I relate with and feel about shadow !!

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you for sharing!! I'm so glad that people are pointing out the lyrics to "I Am All of Me" here, because the parallels there have somehow missed me this whole time, but the song means so so so much more to me now that you've helped me attach even more meaning to it. much love ♥

[@LogicandTrickster]

I'm thirty one years old, and although I was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age, I've never officially been given an autism diagnosis. I have other aspects of myself that make me think I am somewhere on the spectrum though. It's very strange being in a limbo of not knowing what I am, or what people think I am, or even knowing who I'm SUPPOSED to be. Something that really resonates with me about Shadow is that he struggles through so much hardship when it comes to deciding whether or not to let go of his past and move on from it, or to come to peace with his past and accept it.. And his identity is heavily tied to his past. It's almost like he can't decide whether or not to make peace with who he is. And yet, no matter how conflicted he is about his identity or his past or who he is supposed to be, he is still a super capable and awesome individual who can take care of business and accomplish great things. That's a powerful message that you can still be an amazing person, and people can still see you as cool and look up to you, even if you aren't personally sure of yourself all the time. That's inspiring to me.

[@theplotghost]

I'm undiagnosed. I've been obsessively researching different possible diagnoses to explain the ever present question of why I'm so different from everyone else, why is my true self unacceptable, why am I too much and yet not enough? I don't know if I'll ever get that official diagnosis, as the only psychologist I could afford to see wouldn't even entertain the idea because I'm "too empathetic, and real autistic ppl don't care that much, my nephew doesn't!" (Yes, I'm in the US. If that wasn't glaringly obvious.) Then I see videos like this. And I'm reminded of two things: why I love Shadow (I see a lot of my own experiences and mannerisms in him); and I'm not alone in feeling this way. Thanks for making this.

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

❤️❤️❤️

[@Jordynfection]

my unprofessional opinion as an autistic person myself: with all due respect, i think your psychologist is full of crap i myself am very empathetic... i think the issue is that neurotypical people just don't understand that just because autistic people generally have a more difficult time recognizing and expressing emotions doesn't mean they don't care i don't want to diagnose you myself or anything but if autism seems like the best explanation to you as to why you're different, perhaps you do have it after all but again, this is just the opinion of some random autistic person on the internet... don't take it too seriously, but i hope it helps somehow

[@shadowolf188]

I always love hearing about peoples experiences and how they relate to the media they love. This video means a bunch to me. Thank you!!

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank YOU!!! ♥♥♥

[@Totorolover456]

0:23 this became one of my vocal stims😅 tbf snapcube fandubs are very quotable, in my defense Edit. I just finished the video and wanted to say that this is a banger of a first video mate, nice one❤

[@Jackkkk-qp2mg]

So real (can't stop saying "I'm literally the devil from the Bible")

[@RoseBerryYeeps]

Man, I haven’t been diagnosed but I can totally relate to that special interest stuff. I get so worked up over the weirdest stuff (i’m going thru a sonic one rn haha). But I found friends that accept my “weird” side, and when I’m not around them i RELUCTANTLY limit myself to talking about it maybe once or twice a day. I’m not in the same boat as a lot of yall but still. Happy New Years btw!!

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you so much for sharing ♥ happy new years to you, too! it sounds like you have a great, supportive friend group! here's to more of those! ♥♥

[@thegeekygaymer]

3:43 okay that's literally me but with my hyperfixations and I'm currently hyperfixated on Sonic the Hedgehog (mostly Shadow). Like oh my god I can't even explain how much I absolutely LOVE Shadow. I love him. I love him. I love him. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

♥♥♥♥

[@Gooferfabs]

Real

[@soupythecat]

I feel you. Diagnosed this year at age 31. Everything finally makes sense... And Shadow is my favorite Sonic character

[@TheBeaverhouse]

It's funny you bring this up because just the other day I was talking with a friend about how well the movie captures this aspect of Shadow. Up until watching the movie, I didn't even realize it was a part of his character, or even something that could be interpreted from it.

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

I know, right?! They REALLY leant into it! Loved it. ♥

[@AwsomeKat777]

Damn, never expected to relate to this so much. Not Autistic but I'm ADHD. The bit about hyperfixations being your entire personality hit hard! This was a wonderful write up! Thanks for sharing with us.

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank YOU for taking the time to watch it!! ♥

[@PK_FIRE-pew-pew]

I got no tisum but a ton of my friends have it and I do deeply care for them. Honestly thank you for potentially giving more insight and being open with these kinda things

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

♥♥♥

[@Pompadourius]

There's this weird thing that watching the Sonic 3 movie ended up reminding me of - which was that, looking back, I think I was even more of a Shadow (the character) fan than I ever was a Sonic (the franchise) fan. That is to say, I'd always been a Sonic fan, but a combination of things about Shadow made me like him more than the series he's from; and I think this video really put into words why. On my end, after a lifetime of, "fake it 'til you make it," that has resulted in a version of me that's been called funny, confident and outgoing by those close to me, the idea of still not knowing how much of that is me is intensely relatable. It definitely feels good to be known for those things, but if I were asked how much of that is really me and how much is the result of a performance for the people around me, I couldn't tell ya; it's blended so well that I can't say anymore. That's not to say I don't share my honest thoughts and values openly, but doing so with vibrance and flair like a regular person does feel like it takes extra effort. Great analysis, though! Would love to see more.

[@That1GO_0ber]

My dad got me a super shadow plushie for Christmas and I love him so much :D (idk if this is related but I’m happy about it)

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

I'm happy FOR you!!!!! Merry Christmas!!! ♥♥♥

[@00bluedoodle00]

I’m not diagnosed with anything, but so many things you said about your own personal journey and the way you relate to Shadow resonated with me so much. Not knowing who I truly am, not knowing what people will remember me as…it’s a thought that will occasionally come up randomly in my daily life and rock me to my core. Me personally? I don’t fully know what it is that draws me to Shadow. It’s something that I’m not even sure I’ll truly understand ever, even if I come to terms with my own self and really figure out who I am as a person. But also, on a lighter note: Shadow is so freaking cool and I squeal every time I see him. He’s the greatest.

[@RealKingCRK]

I think that shadow did ask that question, but added on lyrics from i am all of me, will they remember me as a black hearted evil, or a brave hearted hero. Fortunately it was the last option but still

[@queenshore]

Shadow is my favorite character. I wasn't diagnosed with autism until I was 17. There were people watching me in my classes last year, writing things down about me. I did keep looking at them, uncomforable about it and confused because I had no info about that. I've been diagnosed with ADHD forever. Feels like most of my life. And this is a good video. I'm obsessed with dragons. It started with HTTYD, but now I'm just obsessed with Wings of Fire. I also think about Sonic, The Legend of Zelda, Mega Man, and Pokemon a lot, especially after playing or watching them. I think about a specific video game franchise/series I mentioned while thinking about WoF, and it becomes a crossover in my mind. I've always acted out the dragons, especially when alone. Sometimes it doesn't involve WoF, and it's just a self-insert thing, but I don't change much. Maybe I'm replacing Link in SSHD. Maybe I'm just another resident of Skyloft who happens to know how to use a sword and sheild, is armed, has something like a sailcloth, and travels between the surface and the sky without entering any dungeons, but Link exists and we sometimes encounter each other. Maybe it's a WoF OC in the Sonic series or the same OC but a different version in Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, being the most serious and mentally messed up character there, saved from suicide by Sonic in both. But in the AoStH one, she would've made an attempt on her life if she didn't meet Sonic and Tails when she did. Maybe it's a WoF oc in Ruby Spears Mega Man, having grown up with the Light family from the day she hatched and legally adopted. That doesn't seem like a very neurotypical thing to do, especially since their stories are all inside my head and will never leave my head. If I'm thinking of them without making anything out of it, I'm either playing it, or I'm asking questions related to it, or talking about it, even when no one's there. My gaming interests are part of who I am, since I grew up with the second version of Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask on a CRT with a real N64. Our Game Shark doesn't work with our console.

[@queenshore]

Dang, that's a long paragraph. Guess I thought dumped or something.

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

❤️❤️❤️ your words are beautiful!!!

[@Liquidcrayons87]

Lowkey the most thoughtful video i've watched in like the past month, Good job man!

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you!!! ♥

[@RafterSomeFood]

You got a like from me after disclosing your experience with getting diagnosed and for how similar it was to mine (people had an inkling when I was 4/5, the final referral didn't happen until I was 19, and I had my diagnosis at 21 - also UK system, woo!), and you earned yourself a subscribe for just how much an 8 minute video floored me. I've actually been obsessed with Sonic for at least 20 years now (Jesus Christ, typing it out hits different) and Sonic was my fave, then I liked Shadow in his game (I will defend his game on all grounds I s2g haha), before settling into Silver being my favourite. High school stuff happened and I started to suppress my Sonic obsession for years until I met one of my closest mates at 17 who was also obsessed with Sonic and my obsession reignited. 8 years on, and in the year of our Lord Shadow the Hedgehog, I'm finding that maybe I relate to Shadow more than I thought - and your video is helping cement that. I imagine you've seen the film by now and I'm curious on your thoughts and feelings about Shadow's story in that universe (especially when it comes to the topic of this video). I've been stuck thinking about it for a week with nowhere for my autistic excitement to go, so I do wonder how you've managed with it if yours is also bouncing off the walls of the enclosure that is your mortal form. Closing thoughts: this is a great video and I hope you have plans for more introspective pieces, because you're very good at creating a rapport with viewers in this format! I genuinely think I could easily listen to you talk about stuff in this vein for at least an hour.

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you so so so much! it took a lot to be even remotely comfortable making this video, but I felt like I needed an outlet and a place to talk, so thank you so much for your kind words! I'm less nervous, more excited to keep creating content of this kind now ♥♥ as for the movie - I've seen it twice so far and OH MY GOD. like, WHOA. they killed it, IMO. I might even have to make a video talking about it. there's so much to think about when it comes to Shadow's characterization specifically. they truly leant, quite overtly actually, into the 'identity crisis' aspect of his story that I've been talking about far more than I could've ever imagined. they handled it so beautifully. perhaps not necessarily relevant to anything identity crisis aspect wise, but I've my brain has been a constant ping pong game of the line, "the light shines even though the star is gone" since I saw it for the first time. this is the first time in a long time that I've seen a mainstream adaptation nail a character translation from the source material so perfectly while still changing and keeping things a little fresh. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVED it.

[@HunTreesu]

I have never related to someone more in my life, I’m not diagnosed and probably never will be but the experiences you’ve talked about are so exact to mine it’s uncanny, thank you for talking about this

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

♥

[@nuzisfantube]

I didn’t even watch the video yet I just saw the title and knew this was gonna be an amazing video

[@SonicXD001]

To me: Shadow is Relatable. Sonic is Inspirational.

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

[@TheNitr01]

I never realised just how much I loved Shadow until the run-up to Sonic Movie 3, when I replayed Sonic Adventure 2 and played Shadow Generations ahead of the film's release last month. I have been questioning whether I am autistic on-and-off for over 10 years (I'm 26 now), and over the last year especially I have grown even more convinced to at least try to get assessed after my friends who have been diagnosed brought up things they noticed in me. I'm in the UK, too, so I reckon I'd end up spending a lifetime on the waiting list anyway, haha. But the way you express yourself is extremely similar to the way I do, especially when you spoke about special interests. Thanks so much for making this video, it was quite heartfelt.

[@arcticphoenix2789]

I can relate to Shadow in a lot of ways. For one, I had a friend named Maria who was similar to the one in Sonic who tragically died so young. Also in terms of autism, I do see a lot of himself in Shadow, often times forgetting who I was. True, I was known for my running while I was in school, but deep down instead, I felt like I was more than that. Thirdly, I always wanted to the right thing like Shadow. Even though it might not be the most "moral" thing at times, just trying to help is something I value similar to the Ultimate Lifeform. Lastly, I like to follow my own path like Shadow. I view Shadow as a rebel in a way. He is always walking his own path for better or for worse. That is how I feel at times, not caring what others think but at the same time getting praise for going that.

[@Nahobussyino]

This video is absolute peak, honesty though I'm happy to see people like me find comfort in the media they love and talk about that same media here. It gives me encouragement to talk about my special interests like this!

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

❤️❤️❤️

[@MONSTER-se4yb]

Growing up I wasn't able to really get an explanation for why I felt so different a lot of my other classmates. My parents always dismissed my attempts at trying to further look into my mental health. It will always be up to me to learn and figure out who I am, but when you need that little reminder- wether from a loved one, a friend, or even someone's video explaining their personal connection to being autistic and Shadow the Hedgehog- damn that helps quite a bit. As a pretty big Shadow fan and going through major identity struggles, this short but sweet video helped so much to help ease my mind a bit.

[@BeetleBytez]

I'm not professionally diagnosed, however my friends, family and myself believe that I do; anyways I've loved the Sonic franchise since I was 8 years old and its been my special interest since then. Other hyperfixations have come and gone, but I'll never not love Sonic. Shadow hasn't always been my favorite but he has been for the past 10 years, his backstory, character design and everything. He's inspirational and brings me comfort, as silly as it sounds but I look up to him in a way.

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

♥♥♥

[@laracairncross7798]

Thank you so much for describing your experience at the beginning, because it’s *exactly* like mine. I’ve suspected I have autism for a few years now, but I always feel held back by the thought that I might be blowing my experiences out of proportion, or that I wasn’t struggling enough for it to actually be autism, or that I couldn’t *possibly* be autistic because my family never brought it up to me. But everything you described is so familiar to me. It’s honestly a relief to know that I might not be crazy for suspecting I have autism.

[@froo1357]

EXTREMELY TOUCHING 10/10 THANK YOU SIR BUT ALSO GET OUT OF MY HEAD YOUR THOUGHTS ARE SO SIMILAR TO MINE RE: AUTISM AND SELF IDENTITY LOL IT WAS REALLY NICE TO HEAR SOMEONE SHARE SIMILAR THOUGHTS TO ME

[@Elleremus]

This is a really wholesome video!! I can honestly relate to the feelings you explained along with unmasking. I loved Shadow (and Sonic the Hedgehog comics and games) as kid, and to this day it holds a such large place in my heart. Still hoping for a more adult themed anime with the characters one day... Unfortunately my favourite character was Julie Su in the comics, rip, but Shadow is a close second with his 11/10 character design.

[@abandonedchannel]

i can’t believe i’m indulging in my sonic phase again after watching sonic 3. anyway i enjoyed this video very much. it explains shadow well

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

❤️ thank you

[@DarkMage493]

Shadow is my favorite Sonic character hands down, and I think it's because of his relationship with Maria. I didn't see someone hellbent on revenge, but someone hurting because of his loss, something I can relate to. I kept thinking how I wanted to be there for him, help him through the pain because I know what it's like. Granted I know he's a fictional character and can't exactly be there for him. It's just a thought of mine. And for the record, I am also Autistic.

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you so much for sharing! i think his story is so beautiful in that we can all connect to it in so many different ways! ♥♥♥

[@Oshi_1330]

I got diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago. I had to beg my parents to let me get one since my mom thought I didn’t have anything but almost my whole dad’s side did. Usually when we think of ADHD we think “oh they just can’t focus or stand still”. While yes that’s true, I also suffer from many things with Autism. I become obsessed with a cartoon or a KZbinr creator. When I stop being obsessed with them I feel empty and like I have no personality. I come home super tired and I really never thought I was masking because I thought that was just a spectrum thing. But ive been more self aware, of how much I don’t get social cues, of how much people hated me before I started using medications. I’ve started thinking that if I’m not “wierd” I would be boring and unlikable

[@MariaEvergarden]

I think this was a greatly well done video for it being your first ever video. I also have been diagnosed with Autism and was diagnosed at a very early age thanks to my mother’s persistence with doctors after she noticed I didn’t start speaking properly until the age of 4. But I wasn’t informed of my diagnosis until the transition week for what my secondary school life would be like. It felt completely numbing to find it out and I had already been taught by my primary how scary it could be to have the disorder at times, it honestly made me afraid of myself for a little while. I ended up realising I also didn’t know who the true me was and ended up feeling like I was just in this dark place, isolated from everyone and myself. And I felt like that for the whole of my Year 7 and 8 school life. But when I got to Year 9, I ended up discovering the Sonic franchise and was introduced to Shadow and Maria. Witnessing their story and bond made me realise just how much of myself I hadn’t realised. Seeing how much Shadow was affected by Maria’s death made me immediately think back to when I had first felt completely alone after feeling like no one knew the real me. It made me realise that even if I may never truly know me, I can still look for and see her with those that I am closest too. And I especially see her when I’m with my girlfriend. Maria and Shadow have become so important to me, Shadow becoming my number 1 comfort character alongside Maria and Maria becoming my primary kin, the character I see the most of myself in. I’m so happy that I discovered them both at the time I did, otherwise I don’t know where I would be in my life currently or who I may have become.

[@S.E.A.ProductionsOfficial]

I clicked on this , fully expecting it to be a big joke. I finished it with a better perspective on my outlook on life and how I can better myself. Thank you, Mallo. This was wonderfully made despite it being your first video. Kudos from the USA. (PS. Our wait list times suck here as well)

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you so much for the kind words and for watching! it really means a lot! ♥

[@S.E.A.ProductionsOfficial]

@@cmdrmarshmallow You're very welcome!

[@sophialambert6320]

This was an enjoyable watch, and I very much related to you on living with autism and enjoyed your analasys on Shadow. Usually I've seen people break down the sonic franchise and it's relationship with autistic people, but this is a first with Shadow. Thanks for the vid, keep it up! P.S. W girlfriend for standing strong by your side, you should be proud of her!

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

❤️ thank you so much for the kind words! I’m very thankful for her, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to repay her for all the support she’s given me, but I’m committed to trying my best to by being there for her when she needs me ❤️❤️

[@jennypagan6120]

Eh.. i kinda just see him as an introvert with trauma.. and yeah as someone who also has PTSD i can understand his pain.. honestly poor shadow id give him a hug if i could.. seriously id give him the biggest hug he deserves it..

[@FromShadows87]

as an autisic person myself, I like shadow. he is cool, he's awsome, he's like sonic but with a darker lore, i like how he's got the crush40 music. I played sa2 and Shadow 05, and they are peak. I've been known autisic since like 8, and i think the sonic franchise has an link to it as like a special interest, also I relate to 4:00.

[@Cyadical]

I only recently really got diagnosed with autism despite my doctor seeming to notice it when I was in the first grade This video does capture similar feelings I have of being obsessed with something making it my whole personality and not truly knowing how to express actual me. I didn’t realize the connection between Shadow and this, but you’ve opened my eyes to that and I think it’s a neat representation of that struggle

[@sonicgamer178]

As someone who's been diagnosed their whole life, this video means a lot to me. I really painfully understand what you mean about the masking part, I always tone down my excitement around anyone. even if there's one other person in my house, and around my family. I became an introvert after secondary school and barely talk to my friends irl (only at uni really), but I have made more of an effort this year to talk to them at least every few months, even old friends who I haven't texted in years. I'm very excited when I watch videos about games/media I love, but my masking got so bad subconsciously that I rarely express my emotions anymore and even barely or never stim/shake when I'm excited. It just fills me with some anger sometimes cause I want to show my happiness but then my brain's like "nah, it's weird". Anyways, I'm super hyped for Sonic Movie 3. I became a bit more of a casual fan as opposed to the hardcore fan 2 years ago and just go in any media expecting to just enjoy the story and characters for what it is, even if it's inconsistent.

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your experiences! im so thankful the video was able to resonate with you ❤️❤️❤️

[@tristenglover8377]

A simple little video but I quite liked it. Also a fun way to learn Maria named shadow. I’m gonna go cry now

[@randomisfoda]

guy shows up, drops one video and it immediately bangs this is a great video, keep it up

[@Wideboykylo]

I just subscribed. Your video made me cry. I’m sorry if I make any grammatical error, English isn’t my first language. I’m 22, I haven’t had my an ASD diagnosis yet, apart from OCD and depression, I really would love to get diagnosed. I resonated so much with the part where u talk abt your special interests; I’ve had the same interests since I was like 8yrs old. Batman, Sonic, Monster High, they persist the same up to this moment, and yeah, I also experience these interests to an extreme level. Everything I had up to high school was Batman stuff, my personality was molded after him, and also, during this entire time, Shadow and Knuckles are still my favorite Sonic characters. I never struggled with making friends, but socializing is agonizing to me. My diagnosis has been dismissed by the fact that “I have friends, and socialize” I have always felt like an alien, even if people like me and enjoy my company by actively expressing it all the time with their words and actions, I just can’t help but feel like they are talking about somebody else. Even if I’m always surrounded, I’ve always felt alone. Characters like Shadow and Batman make me feel comfortable and understood. Thank you so much for this video, I always know I am not alone, but it’s hard to remind myself about it. Sorry for the long comment

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you so much for your words ❤️❤️❤️ we’re stronger together, when we’re reminded that we’re not alone, and I’m so thankful the video was able to resonate with you! ❤️

[@MCEBT]

This is really one of my all time favorite videos by anyone I think, I’ve always been an incredibly large fan of Sonic, especially Sonic Adventure 2 and seeing it connected in a personal way that I can very closely relate to is really incredible to me. Dang man, this is hype

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you so much ❤️

[@ItsMeFern2019]

3:16 I was diagnosed as autistic at 3 years old, which is insanely lucky for being AFAB but even that didn't help me with my identity tbh. Sure I had the diagnosis, but literally the only thing I was told was that "having autism just makes it harder for you to learn and socialize, your different but that's okay" and I internalized it as a bad thing for a long time I felt like I was broken or there was something wrong with me. It wasn't until I was like 16 that I finally started looking into things myself and slowly learned what it was to be autistic and learn who I really was behind the mask I didn't even know I had on. Everything finally made sense and I'm so much more at peace now but I just wanted to share my perspective! Onto the other subject of the video, Shadow was always special to me. Tails was my favorite Sonic character but the older I got, the more Shadow came to be on top. His story always hit different. He wasn't just another happy Sonic character that has his shit together, and he wasnt just another edgelord either, but an individual struggling through genuine identity issues, grief, anger, getting stuck in the past, having an inability to express himself properly, etc.. There was just something about his darker themes and struggles that I appreciated as a kid and still do, now more than ever. He's the coolest ❤

[@Somefox5]

I already knew i related a lot to shadow because his journey of self discovery mirrors how i figured out that i was trans, but i havent really gone much into how i relate to him in being autistic. His story of not belonging and isolation on the ark, except for with Maria, really hit home. As a kid i didnt feel like belonged with my peers except for my close (and also neurodivergent) friends

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

♥♥♥

[@JackOfAllTradesButMasterOfNone]

I remember being diagnosed with autism around 2012. I was 27. I had heard of autism a few years prior but I didn’t know much of it. When I was growing up, I too fell in love with the Sonic series, but Shadow was the one I connected the most with. Ngl, I saw ALOT of him in me (I don’t know why, but I did). I too didn’t know a lot about my past and getting to know my family all over again after not being able to see them for more than 15 years, helped me alot. They have done a lot for me. But yeah, even though I’m 39, I STILL love the guy. 😅 when they started to show the first Sonic movie, I had a feeling they would have to make one with Shadow. I SQUEALED so hard knowing he was coming to this third installment. Now that I watched it, I felt SOOOO MUCH and I remembered why I loved him. The guy is hurting TREMENDOUSLY of the family he had. Also, when I was diagnosed with autism, I felt like a new person and needed to know more about this “disability”. I had to relearn everything about myself and know myself more. I too am glad my boyfriend didn’t care if I was autistic but has been extremely understanding and patient with me. I too think about what Shadow told Maria in the movie, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” (I LOVED the movie btw) Forgive me if what I said was “distorted”. 😅

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you so much for sharing your experiences! I loved the movie, too. I felt like they really did lean into this aspect of his story, and I felt so seen while I was watching it! ♥♥♥

[@reyskywalker8746]

For me Shadow is a character I didn’t know I needed. Shadows story overcoming his isolation and loss from Maira and not knowing to who he helped me embrace my authenticity going into 2025. As an avid high school runner I often struggle to know if I’m contributing enough to my team, Shadows character is someone that has helped me gain more confidence go get out of my shell and not just be more authentic but give it all when I race. Leave everything out there every race and give it my all.

[@FluffyPupperArt]

I've never related to a video more than this!! I was late diagnosed with autism a couple years ago (I'm from the UK too and my waitlist was 2 and a half years) and I struggled so so much. I still do to this day but not as much as I'm slowly trying to learn to unmask, especially with the help of my friends! They know my fav character is shadow and they always are patient and kind to me if I talk non stop about him or sonic in general.

[@OShaggenussyGarrity]

7:17 got me crying. "...a shadow will show you where to find the light" damn SEGA, goddamn.

[@josh45254525]

As far as first uploads go…this video and the message was *very* well made and delivered. Keep up the good work

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you so much!! ♥♥♥

[@bricktopian]

I'm autistic too with very similar experiences. I also love shadow and he's a special interest!! I even wear red and black all the time because of him. You sound so much like me. We should be best friends haha

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

❤️❤️❤️

[@BBK113]

5:06 I don't think I've resonated with a quote this much before. I've got a somewhat similar story to you, albeit diagnosed way earlier (i was diagnosed when I turnt 11). I've always felt like I was masking even when im by myself, you'd think when you're by yourself you'd feel like your true self, but more recently I've been a conscious effort to get rid of that mask.

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

♥♥♥

[@jasmahal7220]

Same here. I always knew and felt like I have been "acting" for other people and not really knowing who I am. Within the past year I've been trying to heal lingering traumas and discover my core truth and I feel confident that I am autistic (I still have to go through the hurdles of getting an official diagnosis). Letting myself act how I naturally want is somewhat counter-intuitive but I do feel far more inner peace than any other point in my life.

[@late.dawns_early.sunsets]

i'm recently getting into sonic and youtube recommended this video to me, this is the type of content i needdd

[@derekbambenek7803]

In some ways, I had a similar situation as a kid. Hearing what you describe puts it all into a new perspective, and gives me some new things to think about. Thank you for sharing!

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you for your words ❤️

[@PoppyOnLand]

You very eloquently put into words how I've been feeling about Shadow lately. I've been obsessed with him since I was a kid, but now that I'm older, I can see the nuances. To me, Shadow's a deeply caring soul that's been through so much. He's put up walls and lashes out in anger after losing everything. But this year in Gens, we got to see him work through it. The anger is still there, but there's an acknowledgment of grief, trauma, longing. He's still hurting, but it’s coming from a place of love. He's still reserved and contemplative, but the bitterness is gone. Anyway, this is INCREDIBLE, especially for a first video. Bravo, and good luck going forward!

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you so much for your words! ♥♥ and well said. Gens means a lot to me for this exact reason. this 'Year of Shadow' in general has meant a lot to me. I love that hedgehog, man. ♥

[@KimberlyFaith260]

Really well done on this video. I'm a 20 year old girl and was diagnosed at 2 1/2, so I definitely relate to the idea that masking becomes a part of you after doing it for so long, and yeah, I do ultimately mold myself into what the world wants, like you said, like how Shadow was manipulated. And boy if you get sentimental thinking about Shadow watching movies with your girlfriend, you need to watch Sonic 3 if you haven't already.

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you so much!!! I have seen the movie twice so far and I adore it so much. I feel like it’s some of the most overtly they’ve leant into Shadow’s identity struggles and I couldn’t be happier about it. They did him, and us as fans, an incredible amount of justice! It’s a great time to be a Shadow fan right now ❤️🖤

[@KimberlyFaith260]

@@cmdrmarshmallow Indeed. Very well said. It is amazing we live in a timeline where something we love is so respected.

[@FatherOfCabin7_ItsApollon]

51 seconds in and I can already vouch that I’m like 95% sure that liking shadow is an autistic thing. I’m autistic, all my friends are autistic (or have ADHD, some both), we all collectively love shadow and tails. Obviously people without autism can like shadow, but I firmly believe that most (if not all) autistic people like shadow.

[@TheFourthEmperorOfTheSea]

HOLY SHIT SHADOW AND TAILS HAVE BEEN MY TWO FAVORITE CHARACTERS MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!! Everything is starting to make sense to me

[@theguy3016]

or maybe he's just a very well-written character who's designed to be generally cool?

[@FatherOfCabin7_ItsApollon]

@ im just saying that I haven’t met a single person who’s autistic and disliked shadow.

[@AdrianHernandez-rn1sq]

I’ve been diagnosed since I was 13, and I 100% agree with you on everything you said about interests and friends. I always love talking about and engaging in the content of my 9 special interests, and I do feel like sometimes I have to change my personality in public so I don’t become an overcast. I feel really bad for you about the masking, but I’m super glad your girlfriend and Shadow have helped you because all of you (I had to make that reference to I am all of you lmao). And yeah. Dying and wondering about who will remember you, that hurts too. But Shadow proves that you can always change who you want to be, and you can always change how you’ll be remembered. (Also I’m not a Sonic fan, as I’ve only seen the movies but Sonic 3 and shadow’s story was genuinely peak video game movie storytelling, 10/10)

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

♥ thank you so much for your words! I don't know what I'd do without her. ♥♥♥

[@GrandOcelot]

YES POWER RANGERS SPD! I'm so with you there lol, that was my JAM as a kid. Great video, by the way, never would have guessed it was your first ever video

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

@@GrandOcelot it was so good! the world-building, everything, felt so perfectly crafted as like the perfect version of power rangers for me as a kid! and thank you for the kind words!! ❤️❤️

[@bluewhale2163]

0:38 fair Also regarding your experience on a late diagnosis, everyone I know who had it late, went and is going through the same thing. I was diagnosed as a toddler, which fascinates me to hear how late-diagnosed people (like yourself) see autism. It made me happy to hear that you continued to fight for the assessment, despite doctors blaming the signs on mental health. Last thing (I promise 🤣) just found your channel and I already enjoy it, keep uploading as I’m back on sonic after a long hiatus!

[@Chipotlefork]

This video touched my heart quite deeply as someone who’s in the process of getting an autism diagnosis. I didn’t really understand why I had such a strong attachment to shadow since early childhood but this video made me understand that more. When I was younger, it was harder to make friends because all I talked about was sonic and people looked at me like I was crazy and obsessive. It later turned into self isolation where all I did was freak out over sonic alone since most people didn’t share that emotion. With time, I’m slowly learning how to balance both and still show my interest without feeling the guilt of info dumping for hours. Thank you so much for making this video! It’s quite comforting to see other people with similar perspectives and specifically in a field that I’m fixated on too haha

[@Pilki01]

Thanks for this video dude! I've recently reconnected with my childhood love of Sonic since Sonic 3 and all the hype around it. My girlfriend is currently going through the process of getting screened for autism, and I'm currently getting screened for ADHD. It's nice to see my big love for the edgelord hedgehog and something we're both going through together in one ♥️

[@garnetgarcia3287]

This video essay felt incredibly personal. Just wanted to say that this was lovely to listen to. I’m not autistic (I have ADHD tho) and I went through a HUGE Shadow phase when I was like 14 years old. Between the new game and Sonic 3 that just came out (which I just went to see with my best friend), I’ve spent the last few months reliving and reloving Shadow’s character and story. Your experience with your late diagnosis is EXTREMELY relatable. Despite many asking me if I had ADHD growing up and me being pretty sure I had it, I didn’t get officially diagnosed until I was 25 years old. I had also just moved away from home and everything I had known so that mask started crumbling before my very eyes and it was .. terrifying. It was terrifying to feel like a lot of who I was a who I had been was .. not entirely true to myself or just straight up a lie. I actually really love the connection you got to draw between you and Shadow. I wish you the best of luck, love, and joy in your journey as you continue to get to know all the parts of yourself, mask and no mask. Thanks for reading if you made it this far, and thank you for this video!

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

❤️❤️❤️ thank you so much for sharing and for the kind words ❤️

[@soyboybrin]

Reaching the end of this video and hearing "this is my first ever video," I went :O Phenomenal job! Thanks for putting into words what so many of us in these communities (both Sonic fans and autistic people, lmao) have struggled to piece together. Congrats on your journey, keep up the great work, and all hail Shadow😎

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

❤️❤️ thank you!!

[@sophiamarlena391]

This is the deepest most engaging video I’ve ever watched on any platform. Wow. Thank you for making such an amazing video and sharing such a deep part of yourself, it’s really fantastic. You were so genuine and honest, you don’t see that often here on KZbin or really in life. So thank you, for such an amazing thought provoking positive video.

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you so much for the words ❤️

[@Raccoonboi634]

This video really spoke to me. Not only as a fellow autistic, but as a long-time sonic fan who’s had it as my special interest since I was younger and even up until now, it all sorta is falling into place finally. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was around 6 or 7, so I’ve been diagnosed for most of my life, and even before that, was a huge sonic fan (probably gave it away and made it too obvious lol.) but videos like these really help me see myself, since I struggle to actually figure out what I want, who I want to be, what I want to do etc. it becomes so exhausting trying to figure out who you when who you are is quite literally that mask you’ve made around yourself, like burying the real you. But this video made me stop and think that same question; “if I were to die right now, who would people remember me as? As what they’ve perceived me as. Or who I truly am.” And that touched my soul, and I think I know exactly who I am now. Also, shadow being autistic is a personal head canon of mine haha

[@grimmick9446]

Thank you for this. I'm waiting for a diagnosis in the states, my 3 yr old we're pretty positive is autistic ,and she's just like me.(She gets her diagnosis and eval first) We started recently enjoying sonic together but I've been lifelong fan, and this entire price hit hard. I'm a 24yr mom with two young kids, still struggling with postpartum depression.My parents were pretty shit so both trying to find myself, and raise someone who feels they don't have to mask and hide themselves, has been a battle that feels impossible sometimes. While as a kid I looked up to sonic, shadow touched me emotionally in ways I never fully understood.This really helped me understand that connection better, and helped me feel less alone, when I've been feeling at my loneliest and most empty. Thank you.

[@grimmick9446]

I'm sorry this is so long, thank you for reading if you did :)

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

thank you so much for sharing! I'm so happy the video was able to provide some comfort. We're all stronger together ♥♥♥

[@ninjustice5574]

“Despite how hopeless these things feel, there is always still going to be time - right up until the very end - to live as truthfully a version of myself as possible.” That self-awareness is so powerful. Thank you for being yourself and sharing this!!!

[@Cade_Squirrel]

I was diagnosed at 5 years old, I'm 26 now, it was extremely obvious I was Autistic, however even as obvious as it was I still struggled to get a diagnosis, all in all being diagnosed early definitely helped, although a bigger issue in my life would be my gender dysphoria which went entirely undiagnosed and was assumed to just be depression, my early childhood (And my adulthood to be honest) has been dominated by video games and media I like, my teenage years were dedicated to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and as for video games Sonic and Ratchet and Clank were some of my first big special interests.

[@cmdrmarshmallow]

♥♥♥

[@ecastillo2631]

I was so surprised to see that this person is only at 711 subscribers. You deserve MORE!!! I have just gotten into sonic franchise, mostly because of shadow. what games have the most shadow? So far, it seems SA2, Sonic x Shadow Generations, and the shadow spinoff are the most significant.

[@Mozz1337]

Even tho I was diagnosed really young (5 years old) I still relate a lot. Usually my special interests dictate what I do and how I act and stuff, and I've struggled with masking my whole life too. Great video

[@scooto8114]

this video is absolutely beautiful, thank you for making it

[@raxmax1421]

As a currently un-diagnosed autist (the system is a bitch) I relate to this so hard. More than anything I'm lucky that my father mostly saw me as a goofball and encouraged the way I am, atleast when I was young. Growing up and having to be professional is when I realized something was different about me. Realizing I had autism after months of research and testing, recontextualized my entire life. Coming to terms with my autism has been difficult, but knowing that my friends would be different if I didnt have autism helps me cope a lot. I'm surrounded by fellow autists, I usually make friends and find out later that they are autistic, more than I make nuerotypical friends. I'm greatful for my friends and family.

[@Blo0oudyheartzz]

THIS VIDEO I LEGIT FANTASTIC AND SUMERIZES MY FELLINGS PERFECTLY SHADOW WILL ALWAYS HOLD A PLACE IN MY HEART HES SUCH A COMPLEX AND GOOD CHARATER AND I LOVE HOW WERE GETTING NEW SHADOW CONTENT THAT EXPLORES GIS CHARATER MORE AND ADDS MORE LORE

[@mckenzieromero1135]

I'm autistic and I love Shadow! I'm new to the Sonic Universe but so far I love it! Great video. I can't wait to see what you put out next!

[@rekiluvrs6502]

Despite how many times I laughed during this video, it genuinely resonated with me and was extremely relatable so thank you for posting this! Reading these comments and watching this video has been a major comfort especially because it’s about one of my current interests 🙏