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MAY 8, 1970, MOSCOW: A recently discovered KGB surveillance video proves the long-suspected intent of John Lennon and Paul McCartney to subvert the Revolution by ghost-writing the Soviet Navy Anthem, "Let It Be," originally intended only for military talent shows as Western propaganda. The song was later smuggled out of Russia, forcing the Beatles to cover their spy activity by recording the piece themselves and back-dating the label.
Heavily-redacted KGB files also show the two Beatles funded an MI-6 mission Back To The USSR, using darkness as cover during a Hard Day's Night searching the Long and Winding Road Eight Days A Week for underground talent agent and part-time spy Eleanor Rigby, the only person with the code to Help defecting Russian Navy baritone Vladimir Kozarenko Get Back his Ticket To Ride the Yellow Submarine to the UK (see video of Kozarenko performing shortly before his disappearance).
Unfortunately, the MI-6 escape vessel had to depart Yesterday without its defector, but British ambassador Lady Madonna is eager to do Something and believes All You Need Is Love. "We Can Work It Out," she stated in a press release issued from her Penny Lane office. Kazarenko was finally discovered and reacted to the events by saying, "I Feel Fine, but I Should Have Known Better than to let that KGB Fool On A Hill, Michelle Ivanov, talk me into hanging around those Strawberry Fields Forever." (Translation courtesy of Ob-La-Diski & Ob-La-Daski of the Moscow Paperback Writer Guild)