Should Men Pay For Dates? What Does The Data Say....

[@n.m.3760]

I once dated a 34 year old accountant and we went out on 3 dates. And not once did she ever say "Thank you" when I paid for our meals. She just sat there. She had the attitude of "her money is her money and my money is our money". I ended things with her and she wanted to know why. I never gave her the reason. Unfortunately, many of these modern women have this entitlement mindset of expecting free stuff from a man. I'd rather stay single and enjoy peace & quiet than deal with all that drama and BS.

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Yeah that would be annoying I wouldnt' be seeing her again - nobody likes that kind of entitlement.

[@n.m.3760]

@SchoolOfAttraction I also didn't like it that she openly admitted to making 170K per year yet she never offered to pay for anything. Of course, I would've paid regardless but it's the action of offering that matters. It would show she is offering to help and considerate.

[@kimfrederick7710]

I took him on a date yesterday and paid for the entire bill. He enjoyed himself

[@annaradford6752]

Thank you for doing so

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Great! I'm sure he really appreciated it too, it's very refreshing as a man to have that experience.

[@martintheguitarist]

There is a really simple solution to this: Don't go on expensive dates. If you just meet for a drink, ice cream, coffee, walk then it doesn't matter who pays $5.

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Yep I agree- I was looking at statistics about teh average cost of first dates not just in Australia, but in the UK, USA, Denmark - I can't believe how much most people are paying on average. I'm not poor, but I'd still NEVER invest heavily like that in a first date with someone I barely know.

[@martintheguitarist]

@@SchoolOfAttraction Yes, if you spend a lot of money on someone you barely know it also tells the woman you are insane. So you'll either end up with someone who is also insane or someone who likes to take advantage of you.

[@monchichipower6334]

Can’t argue with them about what’s right and what’s wrong Just find the person that matches your belief I prefer going halves or taking turns In todays age it’s tough for one person to take all the burden

[@Pizdziakowiec]

Equal posibilities, egual rights egual duty

[@thomesc6214]

Had a massive argument about this yesterday. I was told by my girl using the words equal footing or 50/50 repulsed her and that nothing is an equal effort. Also she said that as a female it makes her feel not secure if someone had attacked her she feels that I would run away. She deduced that from me trying to tell her that if we are going to have a great future we should both work for a common goal and that includes us both working. She kept pressing me and I finally told her that we should end the relationship as it doesn’t appear I am adequate to what she is looking for in one. She quickly changed tune then but still bit rocky. Now I think the relationship won’t last at all😟.

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Sorry to hear that... But yes I think the whole topic needs an overhaul.. Too much meaning is placed on the act, especially since it's one that places a lot of future expectation on a man.

[@reapernate208]

100% Agree, esp the conclusion

[@JohnAlot]

Yup. The most compelling reason to move toward a second date is her offer, or insistence, to contribute to the first date. If she allows you to pay for everything & you go home alone there will be no second date.

[@petermillington6175]

The first date doesn't have to be expensive, but it's widely accepted is that most women (yes, even those who are more modern-minded) will find it distinctly un-romantic, awkward and stingy if you insist on splitting it. It's not a vibe. I get that this is frustrating and a bit of a double standard, but ultimately none of the rationale for why it's a double standard matter one bit if you're sabotaging your dating life as a result. Guys, just do the pragmatic thing and be prepared to pay for the first one. This isn't worth shooting yourself in the foot over.

[@sgonzo5572]

Im paying for what I order. She can pay her own.

[@MegaAvalonn]

Unfortunately, most women will not watch nor heed the advice of this video. Every woman I have dated have made it clear: I will enjoy the traditional benefits, meaning you must pay, and I won't for a second offer any traditional obligations. In fact, I expect the man to cook for me! They make it clear that they have plenty of options; while you as a man have few. It's a one sided relationship were the men are always abused. If you suggest a more equitable relationship, be prepared to be alone, forever.

[@Cloxxki]

If I'm expected to pay, I expect inequality and a great time. If this is how she rolls...how many men have had that roll before me? So on second thought, I just might have to pass.

[@robertmaxa6631]

More makeup, looks better, in a photo, but less, looks better in person . Female dating coaches, coach women to not accept "coffee dates", or "low effort" dates.

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

That's not true of all female dating coaches - the ones who focus on "getting hitched with wealthy men" have this mindset - I've been watching a lot of them recently as I ramp up my female coaching side of my business - it's a really unhealthy mindset to say " a man should pay for a really expensive first date before he even knows you" BUT if you only want a rich husband, sure that's a good rule to have.

[@robertmaxa6631]

@@SchoolOfAttraction Yes, thank you for differentiating. Good point.

[@annaradford6752]

I learnt about paying asking to pay half from redpill community as in some way I didn't know how to ask or say. Long ago had a tshirt about splitting the bill or pay for half. 😅 still I has likely been me sometimes paying for other things. 😂 I will keep offering to pay or pay half but for me it helps to know before meet up or before we order.

[@madeasimmons9746]

No, women should court men

[@rohitbodra6561]

if women is jobless and not working or not making money then i will pay for everything.....trust me🤔 men always expect is women have not to be selfish like a gold diggers.

[@michaeljeacock]

if you are the one who invited them out and you are the one deciding where you are going then you are the one who pays.

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Here's the issue with that though - society says men have to ask her out and women aren't allowed to (obviously some people go against this societal norm, but most just expect it to be like this) - So that just kicks the ball down the road - if men are expect to always be the ones to ask a woman out, then men are the ones who are always expected to pay....

[@7184610369]

Although this video is factually true and based on research, this is going to trigger a lot of women (and that is their responsibility).

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

That's entirely possible ;)

[@tigerbear3038]

This has been deemed a misogynistic video.

[@Jeffro5564]

Just invite him or her to homecook meal

[@SV-je8mg]

Who pays on dates amongst gay men? The inviter. The inviter paying is standard manners. I am a woman, and when I invite someone out, even my female friends, I pay.

[@SchoolOfAttraction]

Here's the issue with that though - society says men have to ask her out and women aren't allowed to (obviously some people go against this societal norm, but most people just expect it to be like this) - So that just kicks the ball down the road - if men are expect to always be the ones to ask a woman out, then men are the ones who are always expected to pay.... In gay relationships, it's either both men or both women, so that eliminates that basic society rule, so then 'who pays' is more fair if you do it based on who invites whom.

[@EntertheFray1]

Basically SoA made the main point I wished to make here, about how men are expected to be the ones that ask out. So it does just translate into the man having to pay if that is the case. So on the surface, it sounds equal what you're suggesting, but in reality it's not, it's putting the obligation mostly on men. But aside from that, I don't think that is standard manners. It's individual based. Being asked out somewhere, isn't equal to being paid for. They are just being propositioned if they would like to do xyz activity, with xyz company. Nothing more. Some people will offer to pay, but that is a choice of theirs to do so, not an expectation. One which most likely stops being done, if their friends do not return it.

[@Anonymous-ds2pk]

Most gay men I know split everything even the ones with a feminine guy idk where you heard that