Signs of autism in girls and women (Part 2)

[@mariabustillos9220]

I'm a HSP/Empath. Have been since as far back as I can remember. At 63, I'm just learning about everything I've been going through in my life, and it's depressing bc I also have cptsd and either adhd and / or BPD. I can see now why I had so much trouble in life. I appreciate all the insights this and other videos have given me. Thank you

[@TheRamblingCounsellor]

Hi, I'm so glad my video helps you in some way. I don't know if you're aware, but many women with ADHD or autism are often misdiagnosed with C/PTSD, BPD, depression and anxiety. If you need support, it is definitely worth seeking out medical professionals who are experienced in neurodivergence and assessing women and girls, especially those of high intelligence. I hope your journey shifts to one more positive for you now. You deserve it, for sure. Please do feel free to browse my channel for other videos that might also resonate for you, and if there is anything specific you're looking for, please let me know. I'm always open to ideas for new content. :-)

[@louern123]

not officially diagnosed, but here’s my thoughts, people like me while i’m masking, but after a few months, i can unmask and then people start to find me annoying. In group events, (like the one I was supposed to attend tonight but didn’t go), I find it super draining to listen to boring conversations and pretend that i care about the small talk . i can’t listen to people just saying things that are not dopamine related.

[@TheRamblingCounsellor]

It makes me sad to read things like there, where people find you annoying when you unmask. That isn't kind of compassionate of them - why should you have to mask and cope with things you find annoying, while others get to just be themselves and not annoyed by anything? I strongly believe that when we find the right people and the right environments, we are appreciated for who we are, our beautiful genuine selves, and we are understood for just being ourselves. It is hard process to unmask, because there may be people you lose along the way, but that doesn't mean you're in the wrong. I don't know if this video on socialising will be of interest to you? kzbin.info/www/bejne/l5u0fmOogtKigqM

[@louern123]

@ thank you , i appreciate this.

[@reneedevry4361]

My only jokes that make people laugh are the ones that I had no idea I was making.😂😂😂 Sadly my masking skills are not what they used to be but as I rarely bother with social events anymore, it only impacts my job. When my psychiatrist of 30 years did Autism research at my request, he came back, shocked that we had not figured this out sooner. I saw a child psychiatrist in the 1960's but he said that while I had a huge number of Autistic and ADHD symptons, my IQ was too high for the diagnosis.🙄☹️ 🥰🇨🇦

[@TheRamblingCounsellor]

I'm sorry to hear this. I'm also sad at your wording of 'sadly my masking skills are not what they used to be' as I strongly feel you shouldn't have to mask, you should be able to be exactly who you are, as your glorious self. For me, I strongly believe that it's about finding the right people and finding/creating the right environment, where you can be exactly who you are, and are loved and appreciated for that. Female diagnoses have really only taken off in the last ten years. It is incredibly frustrating and still so many girls and women are being failed, especially those of high IQ. I hope you have found more support now.

[@reneedevry4361]

@TheRamblingCounsellor Human mammals reject that which is different. This is a fact that will never change. While "different" can change over time, depending on education, culture and societies, it is irresponsible to recommend to anyone to live their lives in an unmasked state. This might be fine with close friends and family but societies could never work if everyone was their authentic self. If one is Autistic, becoming aware of what is masking and what is not, is very important so you can choose to "unmask" in intimate situations and lower internal pressures. Masking is an important survival skill for everyone but especially women, autistic or not.

[@M_SC]

@@TheRamblingCounselloreveryone has to mask, that’s how civil society works. However. You should be able to be yourself around your friends, and what you say applies to that. Everyone should be masking at work. Not just autistic people.

[@TheRamblingCounsellor]

@@reneedevry4361 I appreciate you sharing your opinion. Thank you for this. While I believe it is always best to live authentically, I do also say that it can be important to do this with guidance and support - and part of this will be choosing what you wish to unmask and what you wish to remain masked. I do hear how much masking affords protection to some people. However, I see a difference between masking and privacy - where masking is being someone you are not, and maintaining privacy around certain parts of yourself or your life, is around boundaries. I don't see them as the same thing, and I'm not wholly sure if you definitions here are the same.

[@TheRamblingCounsellor]

@@M_SC thanks for sharing your perspective, however I am not sure I agree on this point. I see masking as pretending to be someone you're not in your entirety (which I don't believe is sustainable or healthy), while keeping some parts of who we are or things about ourselves private (or hidden), is more around boundaries. I'm curious about your reaction to this distinction.

[@brigitnunez6735]

Everything is not Autism. It's become a national obsession and banded about a d blame for everything. Most of what you are saying is just life and not just a female think.

[@TheRamblingCounsellor]

Thank you for your comment. I disagree with the most respect, and am not trying to change your opinion, merely holding firm to my own in this instance. I agree that not everything is autism. In disagree it has become a national obsession, and it certainly isn't blamed for everything in my own experience - though I appreciate it may feel this way in your experience. Most of what I am saying is absolutely around autism, and is not a regular or daily issue for non-autistic people/women. Neurodivergent folk, such as myself, do tend to find that like attracts like, and so for many of us it may seem as if everyone is autistic or has ADHD, but that is because we have subconsciously selected friends similar to ourselves, or our genes ensure that (in some cases all) our family members have similar 'operating systems' to ourselves. Thanks again for taking the time to comment. Your thoughts and feelings are important.