you will become what you hate about yourself

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SOURCES
Collected Works of Carl Jung: Jung, Carl G., author. (2014). Collected Works of C.G. Jung. Volume 16, Collected Works of C.G. Jung, Volume 16 ; Practice of Psychotherapy. Princeton, NJ :Princeton University Press
The Jungian Shadow: www.thesap.org...
Answer To Job review: johnpistelli.c...
Effectiveness of Jungian Psychotherapy: Roesler C. Evidence for the effectiveness of jungian psychotherapy: a review of empirical studies. Behav Sci (Basel). 2013 Oct 24;3(4):562-575. doi: 10.3390/bs3040562. PMID: 25379256; PMCID: PMC4217606.
The Persona and the Shadow in Analytic Psychology and Existentialist Philosophy: Bolea, Ștefan. (2016). The Persona and the Shadow in Analytic Psychology and Existential Philosophy. Philobiblon. 21.
Liminality: Turner, V., Abrahams, R., & Harris, A. (1969). The Ritual Process: Structure and Anti-Structure (1st ed.). Routledge. doi.org/10.432...
Quote on Jung and Liminality: Robert Pelton in Young-Eisendrath and Dawson eds. 1997, 244

[@Sisyphus55]

To try everything Brilliant has to offer-free-for a full 30 days, visit brilliant.org/Sisyphus55/. The first 200 of you will get 20% off Brilliant’s annual premium subscription.

[@cyrusthegreat7030]

No

[@Yoursoul101]

Signed up to try it because I seriously love your videos and I'm hoping I will be as enlightened as you one day.

[@adelleyan]

congrats on the Brilliant sponsor!! love your content :)

[@ezrapierce1233]

What song's playing in the background. Does anyone know the instrument used, especially towards the end.

[@witechedda9226]

@@cyrusthegreat7030 l ol😮😮iliioliikii😮😮i

[@ReynaSingh]

“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. If an inferiority is conscious, one always has a chance to correct it.” Carl Jung

[@rss2729]

Can you explain your second statement ?

[@adog5891]

@@rss2729 I think it’s meant to explain the first sentence, as in if you acknowledge your inferiority, then you are able to correct.

[@rss2729]

@@adog5891 How?

[@adog5891]

@@rss2729 because you can’t fix what you don’t see or acknowledge in this case.

[@myboatforacar]

I always liked "One becomes enlightened not by seeking the light, but by becoming aware of the darkness."

[@jacrispy1150]

So basically the world needs more tricksters. Time to start my silly arc

[@moartems5076]

You can just be gay

[@galad_0]

i would rather play huntress tbh

[@victorbrinch1043]

@@galad_0 same

[@justachannel8600]

But always keep in mind: if you troll the world the world will never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

[@Gerben0]

@Lic Beshs do a gay little walk that pisses you off, probably.

[@Dominis.]

We really should let ourselves fail more often. Unfortunate that the socioeconomic climate is so unforgiving, making it really hard to forgive even on a personal level

[@EmbraceTheStruggle24]

Exactly

[@Catthepunk]

This.

[@buckaroobonzai2909]

Professional failure here. I agree.

[@menash8313]

In today's world you can't afford to fail if you don't have a safety net.

[@buckaroobonzai2909]

@@menash8313 Fake news. You probably just waste your money and don't try to seek better employment or look for a career path.

[@laaaliiiluuu]

It's like crashing your car: The more you focus on not hitting that tree next to the road the more you will steer your car towards that tree because that's where your focus lays. You become what you focus on.

[@johnnyfrankenstein0123]

As someone with a license (I can drive a vehicle legally) this is such a good metaphor (I passed my drivers exam and occasionally operate a motor vehicle)

[@Lizard1582]

​@johnnyfrankenstein0123 as an English speaker (I'm able to speak English), this is such a good metaphor (I speak English from time to time)

[@clarissaokeSkittlecat]

So how can we stop focusing on the tree? Focusing more on the road?

[@valentianowiniger]

@@clarissaokeSkittlecatYes

[@CatPopeII]

​@clarissaokeSkittlecat taking a phrase from baseball that applies to most skills "keep your eye on the ball." focus on the goal not the tree

[@millie.k]

I remember hating smoking as a kid. I would actually go up to smokers as a child and politely ask them to please quit smoking for their health. As an adult, I began smoking. I remember as an adolescent how much I loathed the idea of ever working on a farm. As an adult, I took a job working on a farm and it was one of the most beautiful times of my life. There are so many cases like this in my life, and I always wondered if there's a part of us that has such a deep love and wishes to abolish all extreme opinions, and the only way it can genuinely achieve that is to experience the world of the despised opposite, so as to fully comprehend what we are scrutinizing with greater context. All of this happened unconsciously, in that it took years for me to recall, "Hey, I actually loathed smoking as a child didn't I?" and, "hold on, I remember how intenesley the idea of boots in mud repeled me." I was pretty shocked and a little perplexed with these revelations. I wonder if that is what this shadow is.

[@sirius851]

should've hated billionaires instead

[@TheAnalyst_]

smoking bad

[@Orange_Swirl]

Hating smoking isn't an extreme opinion. Hating smokers is an extreme opinion. I'm not going to smoke.

[@jedcollings3624]

@@Orange_Swirl Everyone has vices, maybe you only don't smoke because you don't have it in you to be addicted, like I'm not fat because I can quite comfortably not eat for an entire day and like long walks. If I didn't have that predisposition, I probably would be fat with the junk I eat.

[@Orange_Swirl]

​@@jedcollings3624 Hating junk food isn't an extreme opinion either.

[@keroli4274]

it's kind of comforting and scary how your videos are perfectly timed to my life

[@Alex-yr4wx]

i felt this

[@luketorrini70]

fr fr

[@schizotypical]

yeah literally

[@luketorrini70]

@@schizotypical Was literally just thinking about how i'm prone to projecting my insecurities, and self hatred onto others.

[@schizotypical]

@@luketorrini70 and i was trying to get rid of them by any means necessary, but with every failure i was becoming more and more toxic towards myself, therefore i got stuck in toxic loop where i'm trying to change for other people but every mistake resets whole progress due to the specific nature of my problems. my inner toxicity is the reason why i'm also sometimes doing the same thing you're doing.

[@tonypark7869]

wake up honey it’s time for our weekly dose of existential crisis

[@cyrusthegreat7030]

I love miners

[@vetonrecica5558]

@@cyrusthegreat7030 What kind, I'm more of a Salt miner enjoyer.

[@CaioVictor20101]

wake up honey time for ego death

[@notashton.]

​@CaioVictor20101 how do I kill the boy ego?

[@paperhat_boi]

​@@cyrusthegreat7030 do you own coal mining industry?

[@journey_to_a_million]

I hate being rich (lets hope this works)

[@taddyx]

Xd

[@MasonStevens9863]

@@taddyx * XD

[@unimear]

xd

[@dmvmeu7140]

X-d

[@en2p187]

Can I join in on your wish Edit I mean XDDD

[@GavenJr]

Be based. Embrace the cringe. Grow out of your self hate. Aknowledge your projections. Give yourself a chance. And above all, know that: Without dark, one cannot know light.

[@debeb5148]

Fuck you, I won't grow out of self hate. Hatred is everything I love and if you stand against that we're enemies.

[@authaire]

Based on what?

[@shivanshtyagi749]

How can one know about dark if there's no light

[@David280GG]

Embrace the cringe sounds so wrong

[@izzlabel]

​@@David280GGwhy?do you dislike discomfort?

[@mina7572]

The flaws we find in others are often the ones we fail to find in ourselves. That's what I tell myself since I heard it as a kid, over and over. It's been very helpful.

[@coreyroberts47]

I especially like the part on shadow work being fueled by friendship. Real friends pull no punches and want you to be the best version of yourself; not by telling you to do it, like a parent, but going through it with you in the field, even if it’s redundant for them

[@coletrain546]

I used to think I was in a friendship that "pulled no punches" I only realized after far too long that I was dealing with a heavily narcissistic person.

[@coreyroberts47]

@@coletrain546 it’s a fine line for sure. Gotta discern whether it’s meant to build or just being mean

[@coletrain546]

​@@coreyroberts47I was also in a friendship where I felt like I needed to comment and "say something" about their quirks/personality/views/behaviors to the point of redundancy.

[@MegaMustaine87]

@@coletrain546 How did you come to that conclusion and how are narcissism and the need to comment on the other person related?

[@coletrain546]

My 2nd comment was a different situation. Narcissism relies heavily on feeding off other people's emotions, so making them angry by provoking me or saying things that destroyed my confidence would happen.

[@tbanerjee6942]

we probably hate ourselves because of how people in public/ online represent it. We really don't want to become that type of person but deep down we truly are one of them

[@xeryn6020]

This is very spot on

[@gimmeyourankles]

Or even want to be them.

[@mcflurryfrostie]

True. It works vice versa too; what we hate about ourselves (insecurities) we also hate about others.

[@TeenWithACarrotIDK]

It’s not necessary that we are, but that we can be, and that actively avoided what we can be results in what we could be becoming what we are.

[@bezbezzebbyson788]

@@mcflurryfrostie I think there is something to this as well. Having a concern or an insecurity about something doesn't mean it's in you and hating things isn't always a projection of some undesirable feature in the self. A lot of people overgeneralize the "hate = insecurity" that they attribute all hate to projection or some pathology but it's not always the case.

[@p3xo]

“you’re everyone you hate, and it’s ruining your life” -giles corey

[@Thealmightysanchez]

“More weight.” - Giles Corey

[@iivavii]

i love dan barrett

[@jackfruit776]

@@iivavii i also love him

[@milespmore]

@@p3xo i was just listening to guilt is my boyfriend lmao

[@p3xo]

@@milespmore so good !!! love the drop

[@crystalwaters8581]

the other day my therapist told me people don’t not want to hangout with me because they dislike me, it’s because I don’t show myself enough to give them the option to like or dislike me blew my mind 🤯

[@leax1407]

did your therapist also tell you how you could show yourself more? asking for myself tbh

[@thenewgarsduciel6762]

@@leax1407 I am not a therapist or whatsoever, but show yourself more bro, maybe it can help

[@danceycat6446]

@@thenewgarsduciel6762 i mean this politely, but i think you may have misread the comment. they asked *how* to show oneself

[@hhone748]

@@leax1407 I guess being more honest/open, I have this issue too

[@iceamef]

@@leax1407 in my own experiences of being really self conscious (I still am and I’m only now trying to do smthn abt it) I’ve found that a lot of it is me proofreading what I’m going to say. Because I make a lot of mistakes when speaking due to how fast my brain is or something like that, (idk how to word it better) I force myself to slow down and observe myself. But by doing this I don’t allow myself to make mistakes and stumble on my words. Most of the time I just say one liners in group settings and don’t say much if I’m in a one on one because I perfect the parts I wanna show. My “shadow” being the fact that I’m not good at everything I want to be good at, one of those being socializing consistently. But recently I’ve become more aware of that when I’m with people I am comfortable with, I go on and on about whatever. Probably due to my repression and it coming out this way. As I type this I want to make it sound less ‘pathetic’ because I don’t want to be seen less than but it’s occurring to me slowly but surely that it is not pathetic to want to do better and truly see where you are. (Basically like If being good at socializing was from 1-100, I’d put myself at 30 but I want to make it come off as 80 when portraying this to other people or my conscious mind.) Something like this is what all these people mean when they say ‘allow yourself feel, make mistakes, etc.’ (stuff embodying the shadow or parts you hate) because then you can healthily sustain yourself. I hope I didn’t ramble too much I am saying this for myself but also for you to be completely honest. If anyone does see this, I wish you the best of luck in any and all endeavors

[@peachaesthxtic23]

Exactly.. i hate the fact that im innocent, emotional, stupid, weird, sometimes cringe and embarrassing, ugly, etc.. and i find these things the hardest to hide.. i hate myself that im so naked and exposed i cannot maintain double identities or be 2 faced like others.. i also have depression and anxiety which makes me come off as socially awkward and anxious and no matter what its so hard to hide it

[@cowboyschad5x778]

No one’s innocent

[@loserssuite]

everyone has different personalities around people whether you believe it or not

[@Karina-qt2ne]

​@@cowboyschad5x778Innocent people do exist , for your kind information. If u aren't, doesn't mean no one is

[@VapourWav3]

It might seem like it's better to be able to put on faces for different people, but it's not. It just leaves you hollow and confused about who you are.

[@Kamrynidk]

hey man at least you aren't rude that's like the only thing that actively harms other people yk? Some of the traits you listed are barely even flaws, cause you can't please everyone

[@TheAmericanCeasar]

I really liked the point about friends being the people that bring out your shadow, as when I'm alone or with my parents or other people of some authority like professors I'm more intellectual and reserved in my mannerisms. But when I'm with my friends, I'm far more extroverted and playful and not at all smart.

[@ThyFloorestFloor]

I for one have the opposite. I blame everything on myself and others behaviour to external factors. Which might sound better, but it is not... It gets exhausting and crushing to feel guilty for every step one takes.

[@ryugatsuchiya9018]

i feel you. every step, every mistake, every breath i take i blame myself for what i am, and what i could have been. I blame myself for what i am not, what i can never be. I blame myself for other's accomplishments as to why did I not achieve that. Constantly blaming, hating and judging myself... it never ends. One night I realized how much I hated myself, how much mental abuse I had given to myself, how I never even once appreciated myself for what i am. I felt bad. Really bad and then I broke down. I hope you are in a better shape than I am mate. Stay safe.

[@johnmiller6696]

I think I am going insane because of stress and self loathing

[@skeetsmcgrew3282]

My therapist one time was talking to me about my childhood and how I felt about myself as a kid. And after I said how much I hated my childhood self, she was like "Ok, so let's say this younger self was your nephew. Would you be ok with someone hating him and putting so much responsibility on his shoulders?" And I was like, wow damn man when you put it like that...

[@tnatstrat7495]

.... I would not call that the "opposite". It's simply another form of the same problem. It has the same solution.

[@justarandomdude8138]

​@@johnmiller6696 I feel you man

[@marooneer8470]

I think instead of dont hate yourself, i think a better way of thinking about would be ‘be your own friend’ remember to forgive yourself just like how you would forgive your friends. And like being a friend, be critical when you need to be, but never hostile. Just an advice i guess, learning what this meant dug me out of a really dark place, heres hoping this will help someone else too

[@Sarah-ph9io]

So true. However, like when advice to a friend isn't always listened to by them, the same goes for myself. 😂

[@epaomirimiri]

Learning to treat myself as a friend has been a HUGE DEAL in my life. Whenever I get down on myself, I ask myself how I would treat a friend in my situation. 99 times out of 100, I'd be a lot kinder to a friend. It's because I believe kindness is more likely to be helpful than cruelty to them... And why should I believe it works any differently for myself? I *like* myself now. I'm nice to myself. I have grace and understanding for myself, which is great, 'cause I'm stuck with me. xD

[@Hevvvyyy]

🤝

[@mayconlcruz]

@@epaomirimiri This is something we need to keep encouraging: the habit of kindness. If there is one thing that the internet environment has been corrupting, it's precisely the conception that kindness is a sign of weakness, an act of complacency with ignorance and malice, and in turn created this abominable commonplace where the only way to interact with other human beings is through cynicism and belligerence, and anyone who isn't able to adopt this is a fragile fool who needs to grow a thick skin. Many still don't know that this cynical status quo is precisely what helps to mask our shadow and invariably makes us act just like the one we despise. We easily forget that kindness isn't the equivalent of vain sweetness or blind empathy, but rather the opposite of aggression, of belligerence. It's the act that you will not respond to opposing and/or vile ideas with rage, but with patience and wisdom. It may not seem like it, but this simple act helps monumentally to disarm this dark environment we see ourselves in.

[@debeb5148]

Nah I love hating myself cause that enables me to hate you too, and I like it

[@djsparkyy]

That intro before the brilliant ad read should be it's own video. Absolutely spot on!

[@montenegroafro4454]

I LOVED how you used Spongebob and Patrick as your examples for expressing your shadow. When I watch Spongebob, he always wants to be nice and not hated by others so he’s always obedient, but sometimes it can be too much to the point he lashes out his frustration/assertiveness in a negative way. For example, the episode when he let Squidward sleep in his bed for being homeless and Spongebob had to be the maid (literally) for every request Squidward made. This of course led to the climax when SpongeBob busted Squidward out of his house and choked Mr. Krabs to force him to give Squidward his job back! 😂

[@CrudDeposit]

So don’t hate yourself, see what needs to be pruned and make yourself into what you love. Edit: pruning off stuff like bad habits, not your shadow self 💀💀💀

[@CallMeAm]

I think it's more so judge other the way you would judge yourself, it isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's where you see others action and judge it according to what you would judge yourself whilst doing such action as well

[@cyrusthegreat7030]

I love miners

[@merentori]

​@@cyrusthegreat7030 yeah they do get that ore

[@notashton.]

​@@cyrusthegreat7030jmmmm.

[@fireflieer2422]

​@@cyrusthegreat7030 love me some diamonds

[@thatguy7249]

any person who can't see the dark in themselves becomes the dark in themselves.

[@thatguy7249]

better to become what you Hate then be nothing at all.

[@ericvulgate]

IS it, though?

[@thatguy7249]

@@ericvulgate everyone I've ever seen that has become what they hate has a far batter material life then I do. so considering that most live a life for material's then yes it is.

[@MusiicRoolz]

​@@thatguy7249 so they're dark and full of hatred but have money, cool lol

[@officialprincelouie]

​@@MusiicRoolz I don't think that was what he was aiming at, it's just the choice of wording that kinda distorted the point. Kinda like us, in relation to our shadow, and this video even.

[@rainses]

How damning/blessing it is to fill my life with videos and bits of knowledge like this, they help me understand myself better. However it also makes me so painfully of my flaws.

[@burnbabies666]

Thats the price !

[@julianpeternell4815]

that's what it feels like to read Jung.. 😬

[@The-Devils-Advocate]

I presume you meant “painfully aware”?

[@Mortrexable]

Awareness of your flaws is the first step in correcting them

[@amirparvez5415]

Painful/uncomfortable truths of ourselves we fully recognize and accept but don't beat ourselves up for, is what allows us to truly grow. We all have flaws , learn to show love to them instead of judgment and you will feel your self love grow . Just a friendly reminder, I wish everyone much love💞

[@Matchachacha-OWO]

I found that deleting my social media accounts let me focus on REAL aspects of socializing and relationships. And doing so I gained outside perspective, EX. I noticed my friends habitually scrolling or picking up their phones, and exhibiting illogical and close minded expectations. I realized I used to do that too, and I’ve decided to change that so I can not let hate control my life. Hate makes you internally weak and very comfortable with that part of yourself, social media encourages this.

[@apollotheimpaler5407]

i’ve gone thru a lot of depersonalization/derealisation ever since i was 12, and through it i reflected on it a lot and every time it made me realize how repressing my emotions -no matter how “irrational” or even destructive they may be- has only brought me more pain, and i only ever got better when i heard myself and my deep desires. at least when i’m conscious of it, i could reflect on what i really want and weigh it against my other emotions

[@SuperGman117]

What pain can there be when there is no feeling?

[@qxilion]

@@SuperGman117 emptiness

[@SuperGman117]

@@qxilion Ignore it.

[@Morscrow]

​@@SuperGman117i do think it as needle sticks in your flesh even if you can't feel it, your body knew its not a good thing i guess

[@SuperGman117]

@@Morscrow Only if you think about it.

[@denglish5275]

This idea of the shadow reminds me a lot of something my mom use to say to me when growing up "we hate in others what we hate most that we see in ourselves".

[@pegasus_136]

Whenever I'm feeling down, I scroll through endless youtube videos trying to find something good. It's always gold like this video that makes it worth it. All of your videos are far more relatable and understandable than the majority of stuff on this platform

[@user-ku5be4nc3g]

No, its not worth scrolling for long time just to See a 5 Minute Video about a very deep topic you can't just grasp in 5 minutes, rather you have to try it in life and think about it yourself. Its Information, Not knowledge. I would recommend for your Well being that you read stuff or just sit down alone with your thoughts. This is nice to watch but its rather consumptiom than active thinking

[@bigsteppa9843]

@@user-ku5be4nc3g “ it’s information . not knowledge” i like that. it’s easy to get lost scrolling and consuming endless information that makes you feel like you know something when you’ve really just scratched the surface. as you said, the real experience comes from living/applying these tid bits of information in your life.

[@bluargie7906]

Thank you for this video. I fell in strong depression last year and wanted that to be my last year of my life. I ignored everyone and was sitting alone in the dark. Only with my thoughts and my cat by my side. It was so strong I wanted nothing to eat and I would have let me starve but I knew my cat was hungry too and I won't let her go through that again. I adopted her from the streets and she was very thin when I got her. Now, she weighs more, which is good and I just did not want her to suffer hunger again under my protection. So, I got out and bought food for her and me. At the end of the year I wanted to do my plan but my girlfriend somehow has broken the border I was putting on and convinced me to stay. After many therapy sessions I had the feeling that I know what gave me depression. What made me think like that. The more I think about it, the more I realize I need to embrace these thoughts. Back then I would just accept all these megative thoughts against me. Now though, I challenge them. When I think 'I'm a bastard', I say 'Yeah? Now what?' or 'I'm a bad person' I say 'No, I'm not. I act for me and the people I like. Nothing wrong in standing my ground.' More and more I realize I just have to talk it out... with myself. If I can be kind to other people then I can be kind to myself. Thank you for this wonderfuk video :D

[@icedsouls7151]

Oh man I hate being successful. Absolutely hate it

[@ZechsMerquise73]

This seems like a simplification of what the shadow is. It's not "evil," it's what we subconciously or unconciously take in. It's everything we don't know about and can't conciously know about ourselves. It's that part of ourselves that, basically, a psychologist or otherwise other people must reveal. You didn't know you bite your nails, but your close friend tells you "sometimes you bite your nails." That's your shadow. Your psychologist tells you that you have repressed enmity with your mother and you hadn't really thought about that before, that's your shadow. And, finally, Jung's contemplations on the soul link the shadow with the Buddhist concept of the Sakshi, the passive, immutable observer from within ourselves; the ego's child -- which isn't "bad," it's just watching. And what it means to become your shadow, from these factors, is to embrace more of what you don't know about yourself. Which is inevitable as you grow older. Also, very strange to use Nietzche as a guide to explaining Jung. They follow two different philosophies. We have to believe, then, that there's universality to Nietzche's words to say that the shadow must wear a mask. But even if that were the case, what exactly is profound about the shadow to suggest it must wear a mask? There's no context available, because he wasn't talking about the Jungian shadow when he said that. You say that a profound shadow must wear a profound mask, but the shadow's mask is always that much deeper than we know about it. It's always a mystery to us, because it's categorically that part of us which we don't know.

[@aut0maton]

I was wondering about that second part. Whether or not their philosophies are linked, could it be that the mask matches the shadow unconsciously? Even if we're unaware of that part of ourselves, I'm sure the performative aspects of our social selves scale with how much we repress.

[@ae4159]

Gawd damn man, you sure know your stuff. Must be a philosophy student. That's a very concise critique and a brilliant way to clear the concept up. Thanks.

[@les9528]

thank you for this!

[@AbandonedVoid]

It's also pseudoscience. People don't have Shadow archetypes lurking in some un-observable unconscious mind. Jung's approach to psychology has been abandoned for longer than he practiced it.

[@AbandonedVoid]

@GodVanisher No, it isn't. Modern psychology is mostly behaviorism and cognitive psychology, because that's what's been scientifically shown to have the most results in treatment. By contrast, "unconscious archetypes" are an unfalsifiable concept, making them unscientific.

[@sethstepanuk834]

you genuinely make such great videos dude

[@aayushkhanna3992]

lmao, when you asked "what do you do in your weakest moments?" I replied to myself, "I endure myself" quoting Emil Coiran

[@jessy7129]

shut up bro

[@whirlingincosmos]

I love Cioran

[@aayushkhanna3992]

@@whirlingincosmos same

[@ProdProddy]

I always sabotage myself. Deep down, I hate when things go well for me😂

[@waitinginqueue]

wild how this is something i’m currently struggling with. the character i play with friends bled into myself outside of the spotlight and i became very toxic for months as i wondered what was happening to my mental. this explanation actually is helping me on my path to finding who i want to be

[@bearcub125]

Idk if its just me, but I find these videos really calming

[@ninjaturd-el1857]

It's the music.

[@miapdx503]

His voice...I find it so soothing😌

[@indorianshell]

Both the voice, the subject and the music makes everything feel like a safe place for me to be. It's like taking a rest from reality and sit in a kind of comfortable room to listen someone make a summary of what's happening in your life right now. It's basically what psychologists do.

[@dopla9341]

U should try school of life

[@M0oniversity]

But what if embracing your shadow makes you be hated by others? What if being true to yourself leads to your friends beginning to dislike and reject you? On the one hand I want to be authentic, because that's the only thing making me be truly happy - on the other hand I don't want to be lonely, as people begin to hate me as soon as I show all facets of my personality. This vicious circle is making me crazy. I feel like a bad person, like someone whose true identity doesn't correspond with the rest of society. I feel like I'm evil. I know it's not true, but it's hard for me to still hold onto this believe when putting my mask down leads to others suffering.

[@Slamm1nSalm0n]

"What if being true to yourself leads to your friends beginning to dislike and reject you?" Then they're not your friends.

[@amorelli2585]

i don’t have a solution to this, but i feel the same way. i think the more i’ve dwelled on it i get closer to the conclusion that you should embrace your shadow and let the people who resent it leave, making room for the people who accept you as a whole. but at the same time i can see why you might not want to do that

[@fellowpassenger_54-67]

If being your authentic self pushes your “friends” away, than they aren’t your friends, real friends accept you for who you are, it’s better to sail alone on sea for a bit until you find like minded travelers rather than sailing with people who make you worse

[@boatwreks]

I have been talking about this. I feel like I’m bad. I feel like I like things that are bad. I don’t like that I like it and I don’t know how to reconcile this.

[@deibidxd8280]

You don't need those kind of friends to not feel lonely. In fact, if you don't embrace the "bad" part of you for the sake and acceptance of others, you may feel lonely either way. We don't need to be nice to everyone if that is not genuine, our truly self. We need to accept our own flaws and bad habits to start really working on them, so that way we can truly be the best and whole version of ourselves. Personally I am nice to almost everyone or at least not rude, but I know the bad things (the things that the people around me see as bad) that I am too. And I'm honest about that. I know that I'm not my truly self around everyone, that I tend to try to be the nicest person I can be even if i'm not like that always, but it's not a secret and neither is bad. Because we all have a shadow and it's not bad. Not knowing and accepting it is the thing that's limitating ourselves to truly be the person we want to be and archieve the goals we really want. Know it, accept it and you will feel whole and authentic even if the people that don't like that part of you leaves. Because the people that stay are your true friends, and those people fill your soul like not even a thousand superficial friends can. People come and go. When you grow genuine and authentic you will find people that really like you the way you are, and you will really feel loved and full. I'm sorry for the long text and any error in it. 😅 I hope that everything goes well, thank you for reading.

[@miacalibr]

also, the trickster is my favorite character archetype; they've always been some of the most inspiring and influential characters in my mind.

[@RTU130]

Ye

[@JamesGelok]

5:44 Jung's concept of the "shadow" suggests that our intense reactions to certain traits in others MIGHT reveal unresolved aspects of ourselves, not that we embody those traits, but that they reflect deeper internal conflicts or fears we need to explore.

[@jahanvic640]

When I wonder about the impact of an individual’s work on others, people like you remind me that meaningful work brings peace to others. Thanks for this video!

[@missythestaffy9785]

It hurts so much to look at yourself in an honest manner. I used to hate myself. So I channeled that. Now, since I've been medicated for ADHD I love myself and hate the things I do sometimes. You and everybody else are not good or bad. We all do good and bad things.

[@Emile-philia]

And yet there are good people and there are bad people.

[@sacredscarabstudy]

@@Emile-philia there is only ignorance

[@missythestaffy9785]

@@Emile-philia those people are only good or bad in your and the people around yous eyes. A man could commit a robbery and that is a terrible thing to do because of the possible ramifications for himself and others but if he was committing the robbery to pay for a treatment for his dying daughter to have a chance at life then is he really a bad person or did he just do a bad thing for a good reason. Maybe someone backstabs you but the reason they backstabbed you was because their family was being threatened. Explain to me who is the jury on whether someone is a bad or good person? It's not you. It's not me.

[@walk898]

@@sacredscarabstudy real

[@AnimosityIncarnate]

Same ❤ all these videos did was inject intense rumination and an inability to really find myself, even after searching in the dark for what seemed like endless amounts of time, that medication +mindfulness help, and reading this stuff again is truly eye opening, maybe that amount of time led me to be desensitized to my own ego, and to truly allow myself to feel what I was becoming, had become and would continue to become. Course correction is hard, but very possible and fruitful for peace

[@floydblandston108]

My wife expressed a frustration she had with me, as she put it; "you hate people, but you're friends with everyone and everybody likes you!"- it was quite well said. I'd say that I'd embraced my shadow, and could dislike 'the lower qualities' of human being, including my own, which then freed me to love our shared humanity. Having happened before I'd read Jung, I was at a loss then to explain the paradox.

[@carlgauss1702]

What a poser. If you really hated people you would never have a wife and bring kids to the world.

[@carlgauss1702]

Poser

[@BrendenBaxter-mi6mb]

There is something seriously beautiful about the line "an endless stream of egos bouncing dramas off of one another" it gives me chills actually. Think about how deep and true that really is. Gdamn.

[@rememberjerry936]

Open up at my lowest and feel shame about it yet hate how much I struggle to open up. Boy im gonna have a fun life

[@GUSADOLFO251]

Thanks!

[@adriannavarro1546]

The part where you talk about whether one has to indulge fully or just not indulge with the shadow is perhaps one of the hardest conundrums I can think of, it’s been almost 4 years since I started dealing with that question and I still don’t know the answer to it. Disconnecting from the shadow causes me intense pain and i cant seem to get rid of it, no matter how hard I try; on the other hand, chasing it may be better for me if only i existed in the world, but definitely isn’t the best when I’m surrounded by others; after so much pondering I started to cling to Hamlet’s question of To be or Not to be, and I’ve decided that what’s best, is to simply not be; this means giving up, no matter how hard the consequences may be, and how little nobility there is in it. I take this choice, over being, because this implies always fighting for what you believe in; what if you were born like your worst enemy, and you can only say that you are not like them, when in reality you are? You’d try to change that. What if you can’t? That’s where I’m at. Being costs too much energy that I don’t want to waste anymore, So I accept my shadow, And because it is an insecurity of mine, I will not use it in any way shape or form, neither will I acknowledge it, But it is there. And I can’t do anything about it.

[@incendio00]

My mother was just telling me about this exact thing a few days ago while she was watching me skate. I appreciate her a lot.

[@joepjoep-k9q]

stay appreciating her

[@LoafofSourdough]

I really needed this. Life has been forcing me to look at what’s wrong with me, and what’s wrong it’s others, but now I have the missing piece that changes the context of my conclusions and it gave me a truly satisfying answer I’ve long been searching for. Thank you Sisyphus.

[@rosemarietolentino3218]

You are already the things you hate about yourself. When you see it in others you point it out. Not realizing you do the same things or something close to it. People allow in themselves what they condemn in others…

[@Jess-gl5ys]

the music in this is relaxing I LOVE HOW CHILL THIS IS. good vid

[@eveyrhting]

i dont know how can even begin to comprehend all of this. im still so young

[@Noneofyourbyisness]

It’s okay. Just keep living. It gets easier. But don’t force it. It’s hard to understand the message if you haven’t seen examples of it yourself.

[@Nolandacartwright]

Life will clear this up with experience, good and bad. And by then I hope you are still so (interested in) jung

[@ryunakamura4487]

This man makes some of the best videos on youtube

[@BettyCherry]

I am 90% sure this man is in my walls. How does Sisyphus always have the most magical and best of timings?

[@BrandonMcCurry1990]

6:41 "I am not what happened to me, i am who i choose to become" To accept yourself isnt to become what you dislike, rather to accept your capabilities of doing that very thing and to not hate that you can or do

[@BrandonMcCurry1990]

To know you are fully capable of the most vile things brings it out of repression

[@connorparsons5275]

how you fit 10 minutes of extremely informative content into one video is insane, i appreciate what i've learned. like most of these comments, i'm going to reiterate key notes of what (i've) learned: - embrace discomfort - actually take the time to understand and observe your inner conflicts - be accepting of pain and suffering through the process of "shadow work," or incorporating your shadow into your life healthily - trying to mask or hide what you dislike about yourself only makes it grow

[@oomenacka]

The smooth vibey jazz background music is the correct soundtrack of philosophy.

[@viviandarkbloom8847]

especially if played just a little softer.

[@whitneyrose9293]

I had a coworker who hated smooth jazz To me, it was hilarious 😆

[@conormillard7956]

I absolutely love the connection you made to friendship

[@nezuwagyu1287]

there’s a part of me that wishes to just show this video to everyone i know or perhaps wish that maybe everyone could keep at least a little bit of this video in mind. it’s just so life-changing that it feels wrong not to talk about this to everyone

[@js6772]

the hard part is realizing the way you perceive information is different from people around you. Even with helpful introspective information like this, someone might dismiss it, giving a jarring dissonance because of how much it resonated with you.

[@ericnelius9062]

"It's the cruel beast that you feed// It's your burning yearning need to bleed// Through spillways"

[@alexsheppard237]

I forgot which old story it was in because I read in highschool and it's been a while now, but there was a jester in a story and one of this quotes stuck with me. Again, it's been years so I don't know the exact quote but it went something like (and I am heavily paraphrasing) "people look down upon the jester for living their life through jokes and ridicule, but making those same jokes and ridicule require extensive worldlyness and understanding to make." and I really like that line

[@mirkhare1306]

It's difficult to fix a problem you don't know exists.

[@ApahtieParty]

12 minutes condensed in one comment 😂

[@neotronextrem]

If youll never know the problem, does it really exist?

[@MalMotorDedo]

Is scary how accurate this idea of repression can be seen in most situations of real life

[@lucasfinzi9000]

Love when your videos reflect a thought proccess I've already been having about myself and others. Thanks for the confirmation and good wisdom Sisyphus.

[@bonsaibaumchenlp2005]

shit man, i just can't help but cry every time i hear my thoughts summarized so well

[@raymondserfontein3203]

i hate being dead

[@nathansos8480]

Never experienced it, but I can see what it’s like.

[@DEMiURGE455]

I remember the only time I had a shadow was when I used to be in my nazi phase in late high school. On the outside, I acted like any other normie, underneath that I was a hyper religious national socialist with a really strict purist mindset. But underneath that was the lusts and music tastes that I would try to repress completely. Eventually as Istarted to lose faith in my ideology during my depression, more and more of the repressed desires came out and I completely stopped being political or religious.

[@radosam8415]

I have found this to be a wonderful commentary on my own existence and i needed to see this after a wild discovery i have found about myself. I grew up in a religious family thinking trans ppl were cringe and weird. As i hit puberty, i realized i was trans. After that hard work of accepting that part of me, i still had my issues with it. As i got older i realized my genitals weren't "normal" there were scars as if i had a surgery. I was pretty insecure about it and had some shitty opinions about it. I have, as of yesterday, found out I have an intersex condition and i had a corrective surgery as a kid in an attempt to appear normal. Now I'm learning to accept my new normal. Accept i am just a consequence of my biology and there's nothing wrong, weird or cringe about it.

[@thecosmos7671]

I hate how rich I am(delusional).

[@kukukachu]

4:27 The shadow doesn't wish to be out of sight, it actually wants to be heard and seen. It becomes stronger because you ignore that authentic part of yourself and it gets tired of your suppression and avoidance until it expresses itself whatever means it needs to. Seems like you saw the word "shadow" in shadow work and thought it to be a negative thing, when really all it is is an authentic part of you that eventually demands you attention after being neglected for so long. 6:08 oh good, seems like you did actually do your research. There's so much more to Shadow Work than you brought up in this video. You're just barely scratching the surface. Things get REALLY weird and this method absolutely heals you. These entities that you speak to inside you seem to be separate from you. They have their own voice and they speak their side of the issue like they are another entity. After you hear what the shadow has to say and you listen without judgement, without excuses, you either give it unconditional love, or you use knowledge and stoicism to deal with it. With unconditional love, you either incorporate it back into your being or you thank it for everything it's done for you and let it know that the contract is no longer needed between you and it. In Knowledge, you use your understanding and reason to deal with the shadow. Usually this way seems like you're ignoring the problem, but no, now that you know what the problem is, you have the solution and by will power, you end said problem. Both ways work wonderfully, but I can confidently tell you that the Shadow Work method does in fact work. By quieting down the mind and basically giving the floor to whatever is in need to be heard, giving it that attention, that validation and the acceptance, you are healing yourself. By being nonjudgmental, you can hear your authentic self and you can decide whether that is still part of your contract of what and who you are, or if it no longer aligns with who you are now. Like I said, it can get REALLY weird, and you will cry. You will feel deep emotions. You will say goodbye to things and it will be hard, some things more than others. The important word in Shadow Work is WORK. Shadow Work is not easy and while you do heal from doing it, it's no walk in the park.

[@Econares]

My entire self is the shadow 💀

[@MrsGarks]

I better understand this shadow concept because of this video. Thank you

[@normanclatcher]

Likewise, the shadow understands you better for it.

[@EmbraceTheStruggle24]

As a human species, we're primally wired to think cynically when it comes to basic survival, and it isn't always bad. But when push comes to shove, proper self-assertion is important for survival as well. Feeling sorry for oneself all the time leads to a path of just about nowhere.

[@jasonhaiad]

no we are not fucken wired for cynicism, get your head out the western ass. for example alot of cultures don't understand "mean humour" for one thing, they often dont see a difference between cynicism and just being an asshole, and theyre fckn right most self decribed "cynical" people are just assholes trying to sound smarter

[@timoxyz1466]

great sum up fam!!! studying thus subject intensely for a while now and its of highest interest for me. What I figured is that the ego nor the shadow are actual entities. The whole problem stems therefore from the issue that we take ourself/souls to be something that they are not. and the only way to 'destroy' the shadow is to see through the illusion that is the ego that needs it balancing tendencies :)

[@milesrezlab4268]

Alan Watts was instrumental in my recovery from Christian fundamentalism, and it was through his articulation of Buddhism that I was able to accept my shadow. The ability to see myself reflected in the darkness of others has provided an invaluable impetus for both grace and compassion and strong boundary setting with people who attempt to manipulate me. Thanks for your concise and clear presentation here.

[@sd58624]

Ive started taking all the negative traits things about me. And trying to see what good things that come from them. Not to stop improving whats bad. But, to replace the outlook of needed improvement to be worthy. To bad side effects to who I am. Which helped me not be so hard on myself, while still striving to be better.

[@Google-slides]

Sometimes I don’t understand a word he says but when I do I see life better.Thanks❤

[@kaizenwraith]

I love how smart you are. You're doing people alot of good with these videos.

[@oliverjansen9828]

I swear to god sisyphus reads my mind, a few years ago when I first started becoming depressed he dropped «on depression, ». A few months ago when I got out of my relationship of two years and regretted it he dropped «for her». And know when on my drive home I was thinking about how dishonest my outward persona i present to the world is to my true self and how I need to start being more true to myself in day to day life because if i continued to repress my “shadow self” i would go insane. He drops this video… spooky but also really glad i have this great content like this when i need it most:)

[@terceljiminez1556]

I became what I hated about myself, and it was essential to my psychological growth. As soon as i became aware of it, FULLY, it became like coal, and my desire to change was the match.

[@Kano_Productions]

For me it has already started. I am my dad. Ive seen it creeping upon me like a sickness, almost like my own sickness gripping around my jaw. despite it all I move forward. wether for hope or for nothing I do not know.

[@apple1231230]

great video. Brutal honesty with oneself is critical to solving existential dread in my experience.

[@mason8909]

This correlates with problems I see everyone struggling with around me, as well as myself, your videos have been an amazing help to me maturing and understanding psychological concepts I otherwise wouldn't have known and they've significantly improved my life. I'm not trying to encourage narcissistic tendencies for you, but seriously your videos are the only positive content I consume on a regular basis, and have helped me so much, I feel like I owe you credit. The voidless and normally voices void of which is this comment section is unlikely for you to read this, but if you do, from the bottom of my heart, thank you man. ❤

[@mebW]

I HATE BEING A BILLIONARE I HATE BEING A BILLIONARE

[@NotASpyReally]

I'm completely the opposite of this. I always think the best of everyone, to the point I end up trusting bad people that hurt me later. Now I have trust issues but I still keep forgetting that I can't trust them and it will just keep happening. And I know that most people are actually good and have good intentions but I just can't know that until they hurt me. I'm also super sensitive about everything. I hate myself.

[@XristosLoukas-b1z]

As someone who plans on becoming a psychologist in the futue,this is extremely useful.Thank you.

[@Solo_Videos]

This was really powerful. I had to pause the video and think about a lot of the points, how they apply to my life and the people around me. I think approaching growth from this perspective could give rise to true growth, where we challenge ourselves to look inward in a truly meaningful way by seeing what we dislike in others and turning the mirror on ourselves.

[@cbergh4576]

If I hate happy people will that make me a happy person?

[@mostdefinitelyahuman6875]

-is named Sisyphus -mentions a panopticon This shit just writes itself

[@soapbox-colon3]

YOU CAN'T ESCAPE

[@Sketchingstories12]

Absolutely resonating with the first point! Embracing failure as a stepping stone to growth is essential, but it's disheartening how societal pressures can make it challenging. Your videos' uncanny timing with life events is both comforting and eerie-like a cosmic nudge. And yes, the world could use more tricksters, injecting some playful chaos into the script of life. Time to embrace the silly arc!

[@philipprudek9537]

I've been struggling with myself and have developed a near unlivable amount of sheer hate for myself and lately, it's been getting far worse. I despise myself. and this video was somehow perfectly timed and gave me insights I had inklings of, but never acted upon, being too scared. now? I think acting upon these points you've brought up in this video may be better than living in constant sheer hate and epic disgust of myself. thanks.

[@nannettefreeman7331]

Have you seen "Hi Ren" by Ren? The song & video features a conversation between Ren & his shadow & also touches on "imposter syndrome." It currently has over 11 million views. Not bad for a street busker with Lyme's disease & no record label. It simply resonates with SO many people! I highly recommend it! ✌🏼

[@skeetsmcgrew3282]

I've always felt like the idea of incorporating the shadow into the self borders on dangerous self-indulgence. Sometimes you are lucky and your shadow is just repressed homosexuality or creativity, but probably like 4/5 of the time it's something openly harmful to yourself and society. What if, by bringing a truly criminal shadow into the light, you realize you are awful, and by choosing to NOT engage in that awful behavior, you are effectively choosing to shove the shadow back under the couch? Defense mechanisms of the mind exist for a reason. If you tear them all away without first becoming some enlightened being, you risk madness and total incompatibility with society. Just a thought I've had since I learned about Jung

[@TheRmbomo]

I think it's more like bringing those tendencies to the conscious attention without necessarily acting on them. By pushing them into the light you can consciously reject acting on them without shoving them back into darkness. It is an affair of repeated introspection which is not necessarily easy. Things that are beneficial can be acted on, things that are not must still not be ignored but interrogated throughout life. The distinction between having come to terms with the shadow and maybe even some parts' dissipation, against further repression is the individual's to make.

[@eyesofthecervino3366]

I guess I think of it as understanding what that "darker" impulse is for and accepting it as such. For example, when you realize you have an underlying capacity for violence, instead of saying, "Violent people are bad people" and then trying to bottle that up or pretend it's not there, you could say, "I don't ever want to have to resort to violence, but I can see that being the appropriate response if I or someone I love is being threatened" and then sign up for Krav Maga.

[@hawwu7627]

Reminds me of how addictions can be treated, in a sense of bringing these urges into the light and just letting them be, sitting with them, feeling them can make them pass, weaken them at least. Immediately re-repessing or choosing to satisfy these urges sounds like a bad ending indeed.

[@ApahtieParty]

Incorporating the shadow means to understand one's own underlying traits. Thus making it even possible to work on said traits.

[@jassimmohamedsaleh7b804]

"It is the feeling of inferiority, inadequacy and insecurity that determines the goal of an individual's existence. By Alfred Adler, from the book "Understanding Human Nature."

[@gweedohatsis8404]

The problem with the shadow growing stronger is that it is inevitable. It is taboo to let on that you even have a shadow. If you try and discuss that part of yourself with anyone, poof. gone. lose your job, your marriage, your friends. everything. If the only way to to be able to eat or even have human contact is by pretending and being performative, never mentioning the shadow, then that's what you have to do. Your other option is death. My nervous system is stressed 100% of the time. The second I let on that i'm not in perfect control, or let that slip out in a vulnerable moment with another human is the exact second that Ive lost them As a man in his 40's who has lost everything multiple times, I'll tell you, the best way to go about life is to never open up and reveal what is bubbling just under the surface. Keep your tears for when you are alone, take on everyones burdens around you and never let on that you can't take the load solely on your shoulders.

[@jeffmoestaygyi.1248]

Man so true I’ve fucked myself so bad opening up to people

[@ivantolosana5594]

I am half your age, that does not mean I can't disagree. Psychologists exist for a reason, you can speak about your inner self with them and without being judged. Slowly implementing your shadow into your every day life can be healthy.

[@RTU130]

Yea

[@Nicoladen1]

If we don't see the evil within ourselves, we'll project it onto others. We thus blame the world for our inadequacies; rather than acknowledging them to be present in ourselves so that we may work with them rather than having them work against us.

[@phillipcannotdance]

by far some of the best philosophy content on the internet. thank you for all you do, been enjoying the videos for many years now. appreciate you more than you can know.

[@DuckyyGT]

there is something about this man’s voice, music in the background, and handwriting in the video, that make me the calmest I’ve ever felt. thank you sisyphus❤️

[@ezakgm]

I found myself hating art back when I was a kid. It was always so frustrating to have an image in your mind but when you get an opportunity to illustrate it, it just doesn't look how you imagined it. I always blamed it on me not having talent my relatives were having, so for me, art was a burden. Until, when I was about 12 out of the blue I decided to challenge myself. I got my mom to buy a drawing tablet (not any fancy one with a screen or anything, just a simple one) and I started drawing. Day to day, week to week I found my skills improving and today I can proudly say that I am very advanced in drawing. Moral of the story is: I became what I hated.

[@graveallure]

My assertiveness puts people off. I don't know how to stop being expected to be timid and agreeable all the time. Me and my shadow just wanna chill in the basement with my dog 🙂

[@justsomerandomguy6156]

Mom, the existential crisis man is back again