Sneaky ways to build a GREAT relationship with your PhD supervisor

[@bengraham3707]

Not an academic, zero interest in getting a PHD. Totally addicted to your channel. Your content is hugely applicable to the business world; I’m learning a great deal (just have to adapt it slightly).

[@emilyrawling695]

I am fascinated with the volume of negative comments. I leave my extremely stressful job within education to start my PhD 1st February. My eyes are wide open (it’s not going to be easy) and I will be treating my studies as my job. My Supervisors are lovely (met them through my MA studies) and my research is my own project. I will be proactive within my department but I will say ‘NO’ when I need to. I am long in the tooth and not scared to challenge unrealistic expectations. Good luck everyone. XXX

[@peterwilson8039]

The supervisor/graduate student relationship is not an easy relationship. One of my graduate supervisors was an out-and-out weasel. His personality was horrible, his research sucked, and he lacked personal integrity. He also clearly despised me, in fairness, not completely without adequate reason. I walked out of class one day, not so much that I was making a statement, but rather because I was so angry at him I was afraid I was going to vomit, and I didn't want that to be a public spectacle.

[@AlphaNumeric123]

Holy crap, I’ve been following for a year or two now and this is perhaps the best advice I’ve heard. You never quite know if they expect 10 papers a year or for you to just graduate. If you don’t meet whatever given expectations they have, they’ll definitely get angry at you, even though they never communicated it prior (and sometimes it too late). So true, too, about little things. Something I thought was minor and would never run by the PI and they would get furious! But huge consequential things they would be totally hands off and would act bother I’d even asked them. Seriously the best, most practical and actionable advice I’ve heard!

[@Mick962]

Thanks for your help! While I'm still understanding how this complicated world is working, your videos are just like taking a breath, knowing that you're not alone and that somebody went through the same kind of problem before you it's reassuring

[@sshen4540]

Thank you so much for this! My supervisor got mad at me for the first time today and watching your video really helped me put that into perspective and think of ways to improve my relationship with them!! :)

[@tzrunthetrap]

simple way to have a good relationship with supervisor is that make sure they are willing to speak outside of the work, they may have office hours but outside than that is having open doors most of the time to speak with, or if they are smoking, depends on the supervisor and student too, go to them and ask basic normal life questions, ask their son/daughter, new car maybe, were they willing to continue on academia etc. This method improved my relationship back in undergrad with potential supervisor (btw we worked on 2 projects in 2 years as an undergrad) and he asked me to continue on his team. So, don't be a type of working only guy, don't let your supervisors feel alone.

[@mulakokabisa616]

Such a timely reminder for me. I am six months into my PhD and being intentional about cultivating the relationship with my supervisors. Another important point is to have a good understanding of your supervisor's personality and working style, and being genuinely interested in understanding how to bridge that with your own style to manage expectations. It is a valuable skill in building that relationship and understanding each other. Congratulations on 90K 🥳

[@mrmagoo-i2l]

It’s also a good method of propagating what already seems to be high narcissistic tendencies in the academic community. No wonder why a lot are obnoxious, they are surrounded by yes men.

[@xiaoweigong]

It's so important to have the expectation communication idea in mind. At the beginning of my graduate school I simply didn't know how to approach my supervisor and I always worried that I will do something wrong. Now that I am thinking about, the only and the most effective solution is to openly talk to them about your concerns. Thanks a ton Andy! Good that it's not too late for me to learn that.

[@entwurfung]

And the not so sneaky way: in academia, there are a lot of options to get drunk. Do this with your supervisor and know how to behave while drunk. That means, always make sure you are a little bit more sober.

[@michaeloconnor8071]

Hey Dr. Stapleton, I am currently applying for my PhD and your videos have been helping me a lot. Keep up the great work!

[@tukufelicitas644]

Thank you very much, my advisor seems difficult, we have gone too far that I don’t think this will work at this point but I will have this in mind if I ever continue in academia

[@sarahahamed970]

In Indian academia, the relationship with the supervisors are more direct and personal. This mentality stems from ancient Indian culture, where students used to stay in their teacher's house and help the teacher with household work along with getting education. This mentality has persisted, and even to this day, students are expected to run non-academic errands for their supervisors, (which is highly unprofessional). Thankfully, I am moving to Australia for my PhD.

[@kingshukdutta2064]

Agreed. have personally witnessed PhD students doing the job of a nanny for their supervisor's kids or getting groceries for them.

[@mogosdebesh7956]

Dear Doctor, I am in my 1st year PhD program. Your advice is greatly appreciated, thanks so much. You always surprise me with many good ideas. And hope will expect many more. I wish you happy new year.

[@dystephiary]

Thank you so much! Starting my PhD in Australia this May, I’m nervous but these videos help so much

[@lindalim5901]

I looovee your channel! As I am entering the phd program, I find these videos so helpful! Thank you for the tips 😊

[@emilyrawling695]

Me too. Good luck. XXX

[@gamingmarcus]

I recently had a talk with a professor to potentially join his group as a PhD. One thing that he made very clear was that motivation and work ethic are very important to him, obviously. But I got the feeling he means it more in the extreme direction. When talking initial expectations, how can I softly bring up and explain to him that I'm motivated and absolutely willing to go the extra mile once in a while, but at the same time draw a clear line that I'm not a slave who's going to work 60 hours every week for the next 4 years?

[@francishunt562]

Well it's definitely a good idea to understand his expectations. I would add that I don't think it's a good idea to stipulate the maximum number of hours you're willing to work. Most PhD's work 60 plus hours a week.

[@dimitrac3583]

Thank you! I needed to hear the parts about information and solutions. I find that expressing my gratitude to the supervisor for devoting their time and energy helps the relationship, and it also helps me focus more on the positive side of the PhD.

[@inChristwithGod]

I am a PhD student at the verge of giving up. I should be in my second year, but I moved to another school and had to start all over with the same supervisor. Our relationship has been devastating. I tried getting another supervisor but it's been futile. I really feel so stuck!

[@coffeebeangood1538]

That sounds hard, hope it works out. After trying to switch the supervisor may be less invested, so it could be worth considering trying again to switch by finding another person (someone more junior?) willing to take on the role.

[@21LeonidasZ]

Consider changing a university.

[@inChristwithGod]

I'm an international student, not sure how many times I'm allowed to change universities in less than 2 years

[@inChristwithGod]

I've really tried but to no avail

[@21LeonidasZ]

@@inChristwithGod You can change universities as much as you wish if you find someone that wants to supervise you, there are no limits.

[@francishunt562]

Spare a thought for the supervisor occasionally ; sometimes the student is a right pain in the ar%e.

[@alessiafaggian999]

This is gold also for postdoctoral researchers

[@hantu4321]

Good advice so before doing PhD I need to know my supervisor already need to ask who kingmaker who's going to king me playing IVY

[@kvirklub]

this is very useful, yet I can't help but feel taken aback by the rules of conduct in academia. I came to do a PhD after a few years of working in a large state institution, where hierarchies are a big thing, too. but I cannot imagine my boss changing their expectations of my project without telling me. or keeping them from me in the first place. or straight-up refusing to guide me when I was lost and didn't know where to start looking. or expecting me to listen and agree with everything they say without asking questions... all of this and more happened to me in less than a year of a PhD. on a self-funded route, too

[@takiyaazrin7562]

Great advice

[@dr.nihilus2632]

I wish I had this channel when I was at uni 😟 Still, great content mate!

[@rnorm7630]

Wish I had done this back in the day

[@reneehoffman5683]

Great video! I am starting my PhD this fall so this information is really useful. I wonder if you have any insight about teaching assistantships…? Thank you!

[@allisonruthdunne255]

I’d be interested in tips to build and maintain relationships where PhD students and supervisors are all working remotely. I have regular online meetings but we are all working from home (and I’m mainly working in a different country) so we miss out on chats over coffee or before department meetings. We try to talk about outside activities at the start of meetings for a couple of minutes which helps. All other advice is welcome.

[@k4s461]

Showing up with different solutions can help. But I want to stress the fact that at the end the supervisor ist the supervisor and therefore a student does not have to have preprepared solutions for everything!

[@os2171]

Don’t provide real personal info. It will be used against you.

[@Change_O]

My supervisor has a diplomatic way of telling me my answer to a question is incorrect. He will say that sounds like an answer to a different question.

[@B.Y.B.Y.]

I think respecting the other person's time is a more suitable suggestion to the professors, not the phd students cuz what ends up happening most of the time is the student waiting long times for a meeting, the advisor being late for valid or invalid reasons, doesn't matter its the fact. At least that's what I've seen so far. Professors are probably busier than phd students so it's understandable but I think it happens relatively rare that a phd student is late to a meeting or doesn't show up rather than the opposite way around where the advisor is late or doesn't show up 😂😅

[@HaydenHatTrick]

Hey Andrew, sorry to bother you but since you do sometimes read comments, I have to ask if there is any method of contacting you. Your website doesnt offer an option for email or anything. Cheers Hayden.

[@mango11119]

Hi, I am in HS. I want to get my undergrad degree in Russian language by doing a flagship program in order to gain proficiency bc I plan to become a historian, focusing my research (very broadly defined) on the Stalin era (1928-1953) in Russia and the Soviet satellite countries of Eastern Europe, and the majority of the sources I will be using will be Russian. I want to write many books and articles on different aspects of that era. Then I plan to get my grad degree in Russian and East European Studies (interdisciplinary program) and write my dissertation on a historical topic. My question is, is a PhD needed/highly recommended if my future career is a historical researcher/author? Logically I think yes bc my entire career will be centered on exhaustive research and I think I need to learn those skills, right? But I need input from someone like you who knows more. Thanks!

[@sashanealand8315]

heres the truth, stroking their ego and heavy flattery is the only thing Ive seen that actually works and avoidence of talking about your subject of specialization, talking about that makes them insecure and angry above all dont ask questions!!! listen and agree. remember these are people who see themselves as little gods and you as slave to which they are granting the privalage of working. mine talks and emails about themselves in the third person and heavily discourages collaboration with the rest of the university, thats the reality

[@emulus4000]

I've known my supervisor since 2013. I will start my PhD. in February, but we've already had 4 meetings. It was her that encouraged me to go for a PhD

[@RealJohnnyDingo]

lucky!

[@boredscientist5756]

Your supervisor will be awesome 😁

[@bobbybax2360]

Starbucks

[@pawel8365]

No need to shout 😣