Sneaky Ways to Detect Narcissism? | Overclaiming Bias & Foils

[@genevievefosa6815]

I have had experience with narcissists who will insist, vehemently, that you said something very much different from what you know you did say. There is no way to argue with such a person, and there is no graceful way to leave the conversation..

[@ladymopar2024]

You hit the nail on the head I was looking for a comment like this

[@Leoo117]

It's better to just stay away from these people or don't even argue. Just say the truth once, and walk away. They ignore reality, and as a result, they make themselves more unhappy. If you let them pull you in to their unhappy and argumentative world, you'll be unhappy also. A person can ignore reality, but they cannot ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.

[@eyeamme1917]

I call this mind fuckery.... When you live with someone like this, it eventually makes you question your own sanity because any reasonable person has to explore the possibility that it's them remembering incorrectly. Their tenancy to gaslight so relentlessly and to such an extreme degree, is designed to make you question your sanity. It's mental warfare and it's one of the worst things about living with a narcissist imo. It's wearing on the mind. I've found that writing things down and/or recording conversations is really helpful but not to prove what you actually said to the narc. It's for personal use only- to help you maintain your grasp on reality and remain strong enough to endure the mind fuckery without being roped into pointless arguments. They won't hear you. There's no compromise or compassion to be had. It's best to just walk away.

[@larrytruelove7112]

Genevieve Fosa Yes. I had that too. Once two narcissists insisted that I said that I would definitely do “XYZ” when I merely said I would try if certain conditions allowed. Both insisted I said it. It wasn’t a situation I was confident in, and therefore it was unlike me to state so definitely.

[@natashamudford4011]

@@eyeamme1917 "...for personal use only..." Probably best to not let them know you are recording conversations. That would just result in a bunch of bogus accusations.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

I’m coming back to Dr. Grande’s channel on father’s day, cos he’s basically the internet’s dad. Love you, Dad!

[@leestone8147]

alwaysyouramanda omg lol

[@karaphxarizona3117]

Dilf

[@karaphxarizona3117]

Although I am too old for him to be my dad since I am 28. So to make it pg13 friendly, theres a term for adults, it instead of bucket list hes on the adult bucket list. But Amanda your right hes quite smart and the type to give good advice and wisdom. Altho if he was my dad or your dad I hope if I had narcissism like he mentions in this video... he doesn't tell me I have it in textbook form like in this video. If he was our dad he and we were a narcissist as most fathers would say 'listen you lil shit you think the world revolves about you, you dont care about anyone but yourself, your grounded.' Instead of him gently walking up stairs knocking on the bedroom door even though if hes the dad, most likely his house I could imagine him telling us things gently professionally like this. lol. If you dont agree maybe I just have a fucked up childhood lol. Sorry for rant my best friend/sis died in December so I recently started to realize I am chattering away to random people even though this wont be read by you, you or him or her or them or ... yea... enough morning coffee. Have a good Wednesday my imaginary friend.

[@tomryan9827]

Another way to spot this is the the guy who always "knew that was going to happen." He never says anything before. He never takes any actions consistent with this knowledge. But man, if a meteor hits your car and sends it careening through a pack of feral clowns, he totally "knew that was going to happen."

[@lisasmith516]

But, I Know things ahead of time! Most folks won't LISTEN. And it is just prescient logic and then they're MAD WHEN THEY HAVE IT HAPPEN, STILL UNCHANGED BY TRUTH. INSTEAD, acting like WITCHCRAFT CAUSED IT TO HAPPEN! LOLS 😉 Um, no...logic, logic, logic!

[@davidkepke1435]

I already know the average person doesn’t want to hear advice, or will be open to it, let alone a narcissist, so I keep to myself much of the time on trivial matters. Everyone almost always thinks they are right.

[@keddy5627]

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

[@xxcrysad3000xx]

A certain amount of "self enhancement" isn't just expected in our society, it's encouraged. To the extent that everyone else is self-enhancing their own image when they are in a job interview, or speaking to a potential romantic partner for the first time, the person who doesn't engage in any self-enhancing talk is at a disadvantage. I can't tell you how many times I've been told to burnish my own credentials just as a way of getting my foot in the door. It's a part of our "everyone is a product, you are your brand, sell yourself" culture. I don't think testing high on a self-enhancement questionnaire is indicative of anything other than the fact that in a culture where everyone lies a little, the person who doesn't do so puts his or herself at a competitive disadvantage.

[@cynthiaallen9225]

I agree.

[@jaredmello]

I don’t like the term vulnerable narcissism. It implies they aren’t as dangerous or they are weak when they are in reality extremely harmful. I like the term covert narcissist better

[@SweetBlackSistah]

Great post!

[@Ad_Astra_321]

Covert narcissists agree with you. The term sounds cooler. They don't like vulnerable, because they dislike being seen as such =D

[@jaredmello]

Chloee Audry I don’t think I agree with you. Covert narcissists are almost always liars and cheaters. Who cares if it’s not their intention to hurt others, they still do. They also rarely take responsibility which causes more pain. They are insecure? Well who isn’t? Others who are insecure don’t cause nearly as much harm as covert narcs

[@jaredmello]

Chloee Audry so its ok for them to continue hurting people? I can’t believe what you are saying. Murderers get punished regardless of their bad upbringings. What does conform mean to you?

[@jaredmello]

Chloee Audry Covert narcs have no compassion. Anger is an appropriate response to injustice. Getting betrayed etc. i try having compassion for them, and they abuse me more. But that’s my problem, they dont have to conform right. There are no good outcomes for those who love narcs

[@nancygreydee2608]

My narcissistic ex believes his own lies and whenever he’s caught and called out on anything he always always denies, lies, deflects, projects blame. He also believes in his delusional mind that whatever he feels or thinks is reality and the truth

[@solice8844]

Nancy Greydee All narcs are that way.

[@mandyl7071]

Yep. Mine too. Then he says things like You cant take the truth can you? In response to my denial of his assertion that I'm a slag, cheat, player etc. He thinks it, therefore its true... Exhausting.

[@verahernandez1106]

They have their own absolute truth about their lies and nothing you say or show about reality makes a difference . Sick psychos .

[@martcichocki5571]

Fsscinating! Never heard of this "over-claiming bias," before. Unfortunately, NPD has loomed largely in my existence, starting with my violent & bizarre: " father figure," & best friends. Evidently my INFJ & empathic personality attract them. Thanks to YOU & Dr. Carter, I've become highly aware of Narc's & their: "disorder." Once again, thank you Dr. Grande for illuminating presentations & discussions! Much gratitude!

[@dumonceauxable]

Dr. Grande, I've had a lot of good professors in college but I honestly say that I've never had a teacher better than you. You are so clear and concise that I wouldn't need to even ask questions. I've never listened to one of your videos that was other than fascinating. I have listened to many.

[@NEWYORKINTHESOUTH]

While discussing jazz & Billie Holiday, the apt.pool python/'hood narc jumped in with, "Yeah, ladies, I really like HIM too!", no foil... hari-kari.

[@BagelBagelBagel]

blood on the leaves

[@vals74]

That is funny!!! 😀😅☺️

[@tim5417]

I know very much about megaphrenia, it was my major in college. And pulse tax is an important regulator of the consumer apparatus, I thought everyone knew that. Thanks for another interesting video! :)

[@ShaareiZoharDaas]

Whoohoo I saw the smile in first minute..This is my favorite video so far,not for content I have seen others that helped me understand people better. No, I love this one because he is so animated that you feel yourself in the same room...very relateable.

[@frankenz66]

You are correct. Sneaky isn't quite the word. Subtlely Investigative when trying to protect yourself seems wordy, yet more operational. Sneaky is negative.

[@lisahinebeyourbest]

Franklin Taylor How about “subtle” instead of sneaky?

[@frankenz66]

@@lisahinebeyourbest 😊more or less what I said. Subtlely investigative. I guess a person is putting out "feelers" when being just subtle, but not exclusively, I guess.

[@mrs.reluctant4095]

By reading a lot of comments I am (slowly) getting a clue, why so many people think they are surrounded by narcissists. In a way every person that is off his/her emotional balance is showing some kind of "narcissistic" behaviour, no matter if this is rather histrionic, schizotypal, vulnerable, psychotic, depressive.... if the person is a pathological liar, in any form abusive, delusional or whatever... The self love of the individual is affected in every case, and this is showing in their behaviour - and people recognize and identify this tendency quite correctly and sensitively. 👍So in a way their are completely right with this assumption they make, that there is some kind of "narcissism" taking place. A kind of... But this clearly not meant, when a clinician or forensic psychiatrist is talking of NPD. I'm not saying this because I want to know it all better, but because I think that the misdiagnosis of NPD can have quite horrific consequences to relationships..... a quite efficient way to destroy them as fast as you can. It is quite toxic to a society. But of course no one will listen to me, a random person. So could you please, Dr. Grande explain... you know, I admire you so much... ❤

[@mrs.reluctant4095]

@@lyt_w8t Thank you!

[@cynthiaallen9225]

Our culture has also become more narcissistic.

[@mrs.reluctant4095]

@@cynthiaallen9225 Yes, exactly. Thank you very much.

[@Thundersnowy]

Nope. There's a serious, knowable pattern of relating that a narcissist uses. It's always about power. You are always their source of power. They practice mind fuckery in order to keep you down. This isn't just someone who is difficult to get along with. It's the authoritarian, abusive father type who needs to control you, and hurt you for their own pleasure. They step on your tail and bat you around like a cat and mouse. It's not your friend who always gives you the silent treatment for an hour when she's mad. It's not even the mom who yells at you too often. If you're in a relationship with a narcissist, it's an unmistakable pattern of relating. It's all about power.

[@rachel14rod]

It's hilarious how you invalidate and dismiss others suffering and have put yourself in the position of being the only one who can detect NPD accurately.

[@imzjustplayin]

From what I've seen, read and experienced with people, it seems like Narcissism is a learned trait that society actually rewards. The people at the top of the pack almost always have this trait. From what I've seen in 'social climbers' in companies, if you're not a narcissist, you have almost no chance of advancing up the corporate ladder. It also seems these types are more likely to survive in the upper echelons where it's a dog eat dog environment. Like being trailed by a pack of wolves, anybody who shows vulnerability near a narcissist will have that vulnerability picked at and attacked until it collapses, unless of course you manage to escape. Piranhas do this same thing to each other, any piranha that is injured will be immediately killed and eaten alive by the others. Since society seems to reward people who hide their vulnerabilities, prop themselves up and never apologize for their mistakes unless it tactically will help their social standing, it would seem to indicate that there are a lot of benefits to being a narcissist.

[@anneyoung2310]

All true. But, then there is an afterlife.

[@megancrager4397]

​@@anneyoung2310yep

[@annabelle1065]

being dyslexic sometimes I pronounce words wrong that I’ve read and sometimes prescribe meaning to similar sounding words. People have confused me before this way and then call me out. It can be frustrating because it’s literally a learning issue for me as opposed to being an egomaniac xD

[@nyinyibito1757]

Today the terminogy is so hard but ill watch and rewatch untill i understand..God bless the work of your hands🙏🏿

[@mgray999]

I have totally used a foil on someone. Defense to the point of complete lies. It is quite interesting .

[@serendipitous_synchronicity]

Thank you Dr Grande.. reminding us, there's no tried & true sneaky way to uncover narcissism. Thank you for your dedication to your wonderful channel.

[@dottyp137]

Some people who I know who I would call narcissists ( before I knew anything about narcissism I was baffled 😁) , know everything about everything, and talk a load of 💩 🥴. Even when you have an above average knowledge/ experience of an area and they have none, they claim to be an authority in the subject.... pulling ‘facts ‘ out of thin air🥴. They’re also antagonistic 😁, I wish I could be rude, I’ve spent far too much of my life listening to arrogant stupidity. Interesting talk, learn something new every time I listen to you. Thank you 😊

[@lisasmith516]

Not ALL are incompetent! I know one who may be a crossover of several malignant types, but behaves in the main like an oscillating Narcissistic personality. The "foil" would NOT " CATCH" HIM! I am in a professional situation with him, and cannot extricate myself. He DOESN'T KNOW, I HAVE FIGURED OUT A LOT OF HIS RATIONALE AND MODUS OPERANDI. I still need his service and am in his debt. No REAL ESCAPE. AND he ALWAYS "COMES THROUGH" but I am in a real predicament and feel imprisoned... I have said a lot even saying this here, I cannot safely explain anything here...

[@dottyp137]

Lisa Smith It’s hard to understand what you mean Lisa 😔, I understand you don’t feel safe 😔. I’m sorry for your situation... I have to agree being involved with a narcissist makes you feel trapped, it’s very difficult to remove yourself... I hope you can find a way and some help, obviously that’s difficult in a public forum where you don’t feel safe to share 🥴, I know that feeling 😐. But you’re right, all shapes, all sizes....Speak to a therapist online... maybe they could help you. I hope so. Good luck. You have the empathy of many of us 😘😘

[@lisasmith516]

@@dottyp137 Aw, thx Miss Dotty! (et al).🤗 P.S. The difficulty I have had in not attracting these types is why I am here. Dr Grande is truly a "God SEND" for me. I have to relisten to to him at times because the information is dense material, Psychology is not my field and the delivery speed is a bit fast, my phone has weak audio too! I am out of doors a lot and have a lot of other life issues. Nothing I am ashamed of tho, I'm a Christian...no wastrel ways. Just lots of stuff happens to me and around my family! You'd BE SHOCKED! My FAITH is definitely under SIEGE.

[@dottyp137]

Lisa Smith step up your self care.... you know you’re a good person and don’t forget it 😘 😊

[@lisasmith516]

@@dottyp137 Thank you so much. I'm trying, no money makes it tough! LoLs🤣 You are KIND🤗 I have two injuries right now on top of near heat stroke and sudden Idiopathic Edema. I got a bad rope burn ) I let the boys come over and it was their first day back to school and Jr threw s toy when I was fixing the dog rope. It hurt me badly, but I still had to go work the market Sunday and skip church to do it. Hard days! Much more happened there. I got heat exhausted and rammed into a headboard I had to use as a heat shade, hit my nose hard and reinjured my hand trying to save my face... Oh well...

[@kenwickcook8413]

I have one “sneaky” trick that often works with just about any narcissist. If they somehow request a task from you, just say “no”, with no emotion whatsoever, and sit back and watch their reaction.

[@antoinettenovella1630]

Grey Rock all the way, absolutely.

[@MypronounIsKing]

🤨

[@opossumsauce4472]

As someone with anxiety, someone's tone being nuetral would make me anxious and sad

[@larad9180]

@@opossumsauce4472Same here. I have rejection sensitivity, and intentional emotionless mess would feel like hostility to me.

[@lionelgrisbane-ud87]

@@opossumsauce4472it sounds like you need to learn to regulate your emotions and ask more questions in times of stress. In this case, instead of letting your emotions overtake you because they said no with no emotion, you could ask a follow up question to find out more information about why they are saying “no” in an emotionless manner

[@superdeluxesmell]

I have to say, you really do make great videos Doc.

[@jackrainwater7966]

Wow! Had to take moment to watch this one. Thank you for posting!

[@gingerlori52]

Here's a possible way to detect N in people, who care about you (if that is possible). If you have to decide between not following through on a moral issue, ask the N what you should do. If they advise you to do the thing that lacks empathy for others, you can use that as a measure.

[@zenawarrior7442]

Just found this. Learned something new about narcissism. Thanks Dr G😉💜💜

[@Ketowski]

I’ll need to listen to this again. I had little idea of what you were talking about, except for the examples.

[@ShaareiZoharDaas]

Dr.Grande can you do a video on unethical therapists. I have heard of three, who have been highly unethical for disparate reasons. How does one differentiate between the good the bad and the ugly,in this profession.?

[@ShaareiZoharDaas]

@James Black I'm a whistle blower I know about all of the other careers. I am curious about the helping professions. In thinking of writing a paper on it.

[@Zamstein]

I just fired a therapist that gaslit me multiple times, yelled at me in front of my therapy group and devalued me for my religion, and a lot of other emotional abuses. It was horrible.

[@ShaareiZoharDaas]

@@Zamstein I have only the utmost respect for people who report people likevthat to the State Board. What happens when they damage someone,if you do not report them?

[@lisasmith516]

@@ShaareiZoharDaas Hunh? Nobody knows it ALL.

[@lisasmith516]

@@ShaareiZoharDaas WELL. I "WHISTLEBLEW" on a PREDATOR, who re-injured my hand, (because I wouldn't "PLAY") i.e. be his sexual partner, and THE CORPORATION KEPT THE LIAR, I AM STILL OUT OF WORK. I complained only about the re-injured hand due to him not fixing something and keeping the money. I didn't go on about the other to them as he is a VERY SLICK PREDATOR, HE EVEN JACKED INTO MY BANKING. I scared him though. I got a TECH GRRL'S HELP. AND I have my 2 ND son MONITOR MY BANKING and TOLD PREDATOR boss.

[@goodenoughgirl8102]

I’ve heard of the term “consumer apparatus.” Lol. I have no idea what it is, but I’ve heard it before. Lol. The narc step father hmmm. Assertive (he’s a bit of a know it all) but this is mostly with things related to the construction industry as with thinking he knows best about all aspects of specialty trades better than someone who specializes in those things (like carpentry or plumbing, etc). He also thinks he’s father of the year and knows a lot about spirituality, religion, morals, character development and so on. In other words-we should all listen to his advice cuz he knows better than we all do and he never hesitates to broadcast his opinions and advice whether anyone wants to ever hear it or not. And he’s right and everyone else is wrong. The second one Leadership/Social? (forgot the term already). This is his forte. He thinks he’s superior “boss” material. Has hardly ever worked under anyone else. Can’t deal with people telling him what to do or how to do it. Runs his own show his own way. Has often been free lance or self employed. Loves to bully and be in charge of and control everyone and everything around him. When you don’t fall in line he has been known to intimidate and threaten and/or scoff/mock people. Micromanages. Puts down, cuts and insults people. Generally, the very “scientific” term we all use around here is giant asshole, tho I have a lot more vulgar names for him, but the biggest one is “not my father.” Lol. He’s not much on the third one as with physical looks, tho I guess he’s rather proud of being fairly healthy in his 80s and most of his life (prob cuz he’s drained everyone else imo tho), and being on the taller side (like 6’ or so). Liked having my mom as a trophy of sorts as she looks a decade younger than she is and is also about a decade younger than him and is a fairly nice looking woman. Idk. There’s a lot more to a narc, and the damage they do, but as far as this checklist goes, fairly high on 2 out of 3. I’ve had other narcs in my life, of course, covert and overt, male and female, and I still am not sure what my mother is (enabler, inverted narc, hopelessly brainwashed and covered in narc fleas, occasional flying monkey, a covert narc herself)? But he’s the obvious one that sticks out and the one who started the mayhem in my life as far as I can tell so far. I’m far better off these days, but imo it can’t hurt to stay sharp with all you can learn about it.

[@djcurious]

When I first got with my ex around the end of the first month she claimed to be able to speak German and Spanish. And this is what happened. Me -“what really?! That’s awesome say something!” Her -“I’m not a fucking circus monkey, I’m not going to just jump when you say jump!” Me - “umm you brought it up, I thought you’d want to show me.” Her - “I was just letting you know, It’s not ok for you to demand things from me!” Me - “I mean anytime someone says they can speak a different language the next step is to show that you can, like literally everyone would ask” Her - “whatever drop it” *goes to bathroom* Me to myself - “what just happened”

[@ladymopar2024]

I love the way you say sneaky :-) what you say is totally true so glad I stumbled onto your Channel

[@mariatrakadas6069]

Love this video Dr Grande! Now I know what to look for. A baffoon.

[@spruce117]

Dr. Grande, please talk about Transgenerational Trauma... please 😕

[@cameronreekie6519]

James F definitely. Ive seen issues in my family that go back to world war 2 believe it or not!

[@Leoo117]

It happens. My wife's mother passed down many of her traumas and insecurities to all of her kids. The kids didn't get it quite as bad, and with effort, the kids can conquer the trauma. They just have to want to do it. The mother can even get better if she put in the effort.

[@cameronreekie6519]

Leo B I cant go into details but, on both my parents respective families, I have been able to understand why seemingly normal healthy, close familial bonds are absent. Not to apportion Blame, what I’ve found is repeat patterns. Some of the bonds were broken by premature deaths, some by poverty. All I know is they all endured a lot, I think some of the narcs were really suffering from PTSD but, keeping it bottled up is what had made both sides rotten in certain areas. I’m not saying anyone is bad. However I’m the first to put it all together, to release myself from some of the hurt I’d had meted out to me, due to various family members issues and addictions. I’m not cured, but I am putting an end to this going on another generation if it bloody kills me!

[@Елена-ш8в4э]

That is what my therapist and doctor keep repeating to me (war, camps, environmental disaster my parents and grandparents went through). I read about it but it would be interesting an episode.

[@Leoo117]

@@cameronreekie6519 Its pretty amazing to hear that you've broken free of the pattern and now understand how to be happy. I'm happy for you. It takes lots of strength and humility to get to where you are now.

[@cocainebuffet]

Narcissist's believe they are great while conveniently forgetting all the lies they tell, people they hurt, and mistakes they make

[@kathryncarter6143]

Liked your wrap up & so true they can never ever admit to any personal shortcomings

[@pocoeagle2]

Thanks for the video Dr. Grande 😃🇳🇱

[@DrGrande]

You're welcome 🙂

[@dafyddaprhys782]

Thoughts... yes, I drifted off while listing into visualizing the seven sins of mankind as described by our ancient desert fathers with the greatest of these being that of pride. 'Sin' meaning 'missing the target' or 'not being the best version of ourselves that we could be'. The more we understand and accept the traits of mankind the more we understand ourselves and see deeper into our hidden motives.

[@frankenz66]

Learned about that definition of missing the target many years ago. Thanks for pointing to it.

[@sarahbethbays6532]

Very interesting.... I had never heard of over claiming bias before...

[@andreasleonlandgren3092]

Scientifically informed you dont get this from youtube to often!

[@ladyoftheveil8342]

My ex narc would gaslight me or triangulate me and then call me crazy and when I told him to stop calling me crazy he's say "I said you were acting crazy ." I'm free now, no contact for 6 months ! Country girl can survive

[@rachel14rod]

This helps me understand my father and mother.

[@OnsceneDC]

Oh, Dr. Grande, you gave me so many sneaky ways to employ foils! I deal with narcissists in Washington all the time. I'll have to pull a foil at the next happy hour and see how people respond :) This could be fun! If you ever want to come down from Delaware to join me, it could be great fun! The ultimate party game ;)

[@blazefairchild465]

Good video when you listed the foils , I thought of some of the terms we hear on the nightly news, sometimes I think they make some of those words up as they go along.🤔The weather man told us the other day to beware of " Pop up Showers" that were forecast for the day. I pictured some rain shooting up from the ground !

[@mdmmalou]

With all due respect, but I hoped for a more satisfying answer to this toppic... Cluster B types overlap and that makes it very difficult. No narcissist is the same although they all cause damage.

[@cocainebuffet]

Tips to be a better person, tell the truth, don't take yourself so seriously, help others thrive

[@Emmy_555]

‚Sneaky ways‘ 😂 I have a big smile on my face. It‘s 07:54 here, I’m having breakfast and you’re my morning lecture... Thanks for all your effort in putting those videos out. They’re really helpful - and make me happy!

[@SteveWrightNZ]

An easy way to detect narcs is to carefully watch and listen. Very quickly they will get out of whack on something ordinary you said, and usually respond with quite strong annoyance. Also if you are talking to them while looking away, suddenly look back and try catch the expression on their face - once again, usually of annoyance very quickly turning to beaming smile. Mainly, trust your instinct and if you think you heard or saw something strange in their exchange with you, then very carefully examine that - do not write anything off to coincidence. It goes without saying with any new friendship of any type - give things a long long time to develop further - all the while being your usual ordinary self and let everyone eventually show their true colours, yours included. Someone will slip up eventually and out it will all come.

[@ttttiiimmy10bit]

depends on how intelligent they are too. The narcissist who isn't as bright will mess up more often lying about stuff he doesn't know about, esp if he makes an educated guess that you know nothing about the topic area, that emboldens him to make more claims.

[@petadee5141]

sleepy_cat I know one who has a very high IQ and spends hours reading and reading all The great philosophers and masters and history like has an expansive range of real knowledge used to prop himself up.

[@KS-mb1hx]

I’m not a native english speaker. I googled megaphrenia before i’ve watched the video. Found nothing 😂😂😂

[@pocoeagle2]

Hahaha.....lol 😁😁😁

[@lisasmith516]

That can't be... it's real someone here has it, THEY SAID SO! (JK 😉)

[@cocainebuffet]

Lol if the narcissist admits to being caught with a foil that would mean they made a mistake, and someone got the better of them...and that would mean they aren't the best . ego shattered

[@marielaaleiramh3819]

Thank you Dr. Grande! I love your videos 💙

[@catspajamas2961]

I was having a conversation right after 9/11 with someone who I now suspect for many reasons is a narcissist. She had already established (and this was dinner with a group so others also knew) that she had been in Canada on 9/11 on vacation (and in a bus) and didn't hear about it until the evening of 9/11, hours into the aftermath. I commented that no one could have known that the buildings would fall the way they did (I had heard the/a NYC fire chief say that). She blurted out "I knew."

[@imzjustplayin]

Well, you're wrong. Many people, especially fire chiefs knew that the buildings were done for once they were hit that way and had no expectation of saving the building. There are many stories of the first responders being told to evacuate the buildings because they could hear it was failing and that it was going to collapse. I'm sure the building engineers knew the building was going to collapse and I'm sure there are some armchair quarterbacks who correctly guessed it would happen. I remember watching live on TV that day when the second plane hit the South Tower. I do remember thinking that there was a good chance they were going to collapse, but also remember hoping that they would have enough time to evacuate the people from the buildings before they did collapse. I think I was a bit surprised at how quickly they collapsed after being hit but after reading the reports on why the building collapsed and the damage that was done, it did make a whole lot more sense.

[@FrancesShear]

Frances Bernard here. Although I already watched the above video now maybe I should watch it again because I forgot what Megaphrenia means. All I can remember about that word is that the last suffix in the word Megaphrenia -phrenia is defined as - [Gr. phrēn, diaphragm, region around the heart, seat of emotion, mind] Suffix meaning mental disorder. and mega only means on a larger scale. The suffix -phrenia does appear in the 2 Latin based words in medicine Schizophrenia or Hebephrenia.

[@notubercharged]

I've been late to the notifications for a few days again but I'm going to try and stay with them now! Also you know the MBTI personality types? Do you think people could easily get confused with ENTJ-As and narcissists or not?

[@laitarianplayz8080]

They're related

[@judewuski]

Had never heard of this questionnaire; its structure/set up reminds me of some game shows. At 1:56 when I heard “pulse tax”, I immediately wondered if somewhere in human history, there was a surcharge on legumes, aka pulses. It’s a symptom of a disorder I have - the accumulation of seemingly useless factoids taking up space in my memory, much like song lyrics…. What a nice break from dealing w/ divorcing a vulnerable-covert-neglectful narcissist whose presentation was so insidiously subtle that it took multiple family members dying & damaged to begin to figure out my trust was totally misplaced for almost two decades.

[@Marcelube]

👏👏👏👏👏 Thank you, Dr Grande 🙌🍀💕

[@geargail]

"is this the part in which - you embrace ALFREAD E NEWMAN's - spy vs. Spy - Cartoon Characters in which one tries to outwit the other ?"

[@vivienleigh4640]

It's also a cultural thing (I don't know this, I'm just guessing 😉). To Swedes people from the US seem extremly self confident and seem to have very high self-esteem. I'm generalizing beyond every limit, of course, but it is interesting.

[@mrs.reluctant4095]

You are so right! It is more cultural than anything else.

[@megancrager4397]

That's interesting. As an American, I see that phenomenon as a coping strategy, and this general viewpoint is a coping mechanism. Most of those people are not truly confident. That's my experience living here.

[@lisasmith516]

I soooo wanted to make up a joke "foil" for this comment! I RESISTED....it was hard...

[@storyteller0111]

Lisa, the fact you resisted tells me you possess a high level of resisustalism. Would you agree? (wink, wink)

[@lisasmith516]

@@storyteller0111 Yes, sadly, in fact Resistulism caused me to delay answering. I'm sorry, I'm seeking treatment, whom do you recommend Dr Grande, or Dr Spock? I rather lean towards Dr Grande, but then I resist getting an appointment...oh how can I heal? Sigh...lol!

[@storyteller0111]

@@lisasmith516 While I am familiar with Dr. Spock's work, as he is more of an expert for Vulcanic Personality Disorder than resisustalism, I'd recommend Dr. Grande.

[@justinesimone5343]

He does both! Hes all about self enhancement AND putting people down! He overclaims, seeing himself as better, smarter, more attractive. He’s not!! I call him on everything when I catch it. May be a day later as I sort through weird things he says, but I want him to know he doesn’t fool me! My statements are met with silence.

[@hiddenmistninja111]

Im certain this may be a little outside the field, but epigenetic trauma is something I think a lot of people could benefit from. Especially as there are epigenetic studies linking inheritable alcoholism due to epigenetic changes

[@larrytruelove7112]

What’s difficult is knowledge in an uncommon area like certain cultures or specific geographical areas. Those are things that few people would know about but narcissists might try. Another would be occupational experience. We might know more than the average person but our knowledge might not be exhaustive. I’ve had a coworker with narcissistic tendencies try to test me so that he could make me look bad. Or, he would tell me that my conversation with others revealed my lack of competency. Or, “you don’t know so-and-so like I do. That was really a stupid thing to say in front of him.” This created self doubt in me, as was his goal. Eventually, I learned to avoid extensive conversations with him. It would depend upon his mood.

[@TheDominiqueDivine]

But those plates of parallax... drives my pulse tax through the roof though, I'll tell you what

[@Thundersnowy]

'plates of parallax drive your pulse tax through the roof?' Yeah.... You might be one. Just saying.

[@grungerobotnow]

Love you

[@johnpaul5474]

I was reminded of "Jeopardy." "I'll take 'Authors and Characters' for $500, Alex." 😀 I think intellectual overclaiming can be fairly easy to detect. And there are many people in this world who claim to know things they clearly don't know and can't possibly know. "Overclaiming" is one of the more serious problems in the world today. Is that kind of "overclaiming" usually narcissistic? Edit: Think of the kind of "overclaiming" that's almost always done in the name of God. Addendum: Religion is the Grand Realm of Overclaiming and Overclaimers. If you need a really ugly example, consider "W," our war criminal, who launched that fraudulent war on the advice of "G-d," whom he contacted by scrunching up his face and screwing his eyes shut and "talking" to the Big Fella; thus, hundreds of thousands of innocent people were sent to the Afterlife, assuming there is one, of course. Or, if you prefer an absurd example, consider the Chump and the evangelicals.

[@johnpaul5474]

@@brusselsprout5851 It's an interesting term and concept, which I'd never heard before this evening. Think of the putative president, constantly "overclaiming" his bank account (among many, many other things) throughout his career as a grifter--he's the "Overclaimer in Chief." I like the Asian philosophies that emphasize the importance of knowing what you don't know; but I don't want to overclaim knowledge of them. People should practice saying, "You know, I just don't know"--it actually feels good. "Ignorance is bliss," they say.

[@johnpaul5474]

@@brusselsprout5851 Yes. An awareness of one's ignorance might be an essential precondition for learning. As would the clearing away of all we think we know. And you're right: it is fun.

[@johnpaul5474]

@@elainelouve Other commentators say narcissism is epidemic in the world today, especially in the States (see Sam Vaknin, a self-identified narcissist who became an expert in his affliction). I plead complete ignorance of Finnish.

[@SpeedbirdNine9]

@@elainelouve I don't know Finnish but how do you conjugate a place name? I thought a verb is the part of speech that is conjugated! You don't conjugate nouns, at least not in English.

[@Adara007]

@@johnpaul5474 I totally agree with you here. It would be such a nice change to have people admit they don't know anything about a certain topic or that they know 'x and y' but that's it. Maybe society has become more accepting of narcissistic behaviour and that includes this type of intellectual dishonesty? As an INTJ - on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, and a 5 (5w4 to be exact) on the Enneagram - one of the things I really dislike is intellectual dishonesty which is both the tendency of people to claim knowledge or expertise they don't actually have and matters like plagiarism. My (adult) son is also an INTJ and whilst he thinks the MBTI is "unscientific", preferring the 'Big 5' (or OCEAN), he also truly detests people pretending to possess knowledge in areas they lack. Narcissists seem very inclined to 'self-enhancement', as Dr. Grande refers to this sort of boasting, and it's frustrating to hear them do this - especially when they start claiming expertise in an area you personally have studied extensively! My uncle does this. Years ago when I was studying at Uni and one of my two majors was Classical Hebrew he invited me to what was supposedly a shared birthday party - he and I are born in December. It turned out to really be all about him, and before it began he tried to tell me he, too, was well versed in Classical Hebrew. I wasn't impressed considering knowing his tendency to claim expertise he lacked. So I tested him by asking him to "demonstrate" his knowledge by first reading the Hebrew aloud and then translating it into English. Since he regularly attends church - being and priding himself on being a church "elder" (of the Open Brethren denomination: like the Baptists but with multiple men in charge rather than one Minister) - I decided to ensure I picked a section of the Tanakh (Old Testament) that he'd not likely have known by heart in English from church services. He failed to pronounce the Hebrew, completely mangling the words, and didn't translate but instead told me he was "a bit out of practice". After I then read out a long section in Hebrew - one I let him select - then translated into English, there was a heavy silence followed by my narcissistic uncle barely admitting that I was conversant with the language and merely saying he just needed to get back into the Old Testament. But he then went on to say Christians were meant to focus on the New Testament and thereby to basically disregard the fact he had lied about his knowing Hebrew and that I did but to diminish any importance of my knowing the language. That evening was then filled with a focus on him and I was fed up after a few hours of his talking to my relatives. Narcissists wouldn't know how to truly share anything let alone a birthday celebration. These days he is still as arrogant and smug as ever and I cut ties with him a decade ago. My mother is more a covert narc - their mother had full-blown NPD, imo - and she's less likely to pretend to knowledge she lacks but she prefers to avoid topics where she's not knowledgeable - which certainly limits what can be discussed, particularly since if it's not about her as a victim of other's behaviours she ends the conversation quickly. At every school she seems to have taught at she has complained of being mistreated by other teachers and has said they have taken a dislike to her. I don't think it can be all to do with office politics and think it's to do with her. She's my mother but even I don't like being physically around her, finding her draining and her energy 'negative', for want of a better term. Anyway, narcissists don't have the ego-strength to admit not knowing about a topic and since they tend to be resistant to treatment - both to attending therapy and to actually positive change - the best option to take is to avoid them or minimise contact when possible. They'll also seem unfazed when exposed and yet another trait that indicates a narcissistic type is a failure to apologise to others. I know one man who actually prides himself on never apologising to anyone. Needless to say the only 'friends' he has these days are two fellow narcissists, females who are pensioners and live seemingly to gossip about others in the neighbourhood.

[@theresathompson4719]

Very interesting, never knew any of this. Anything interesting video.

[@davidanslow6205]

I'm a scientist and believe in the scientific method above everything. Have a completely different take on your video. My redundancy in 1992 came as a massive trauma, and a need to re-structure. Learned astrology to re-centre myself. Had a difficult father, to whom I owe much. Since then I have worked for and with some odd people, suspected narcissists among them. Bizzare events at a recent wedding lead to a research project. I've always had niggles about a female relative-in-law. She was uncomfortable to be with, and really only interested in herself, her family and laying down the Law. My wife thinks that her family is a little odd. Using astrological aspect analysis, I found large numbers of tight, hard aspects of Neptune with Chiron and Ceres in my target group. Indicating uncomfortable, awkward energies of imagery, wounding and caring. I have to point out that carefully rectified charts were used in all cases, and that this method is really a sneaky way of detecting narcisssism, if somewhat time consuming and not without costs. I posit that this could be prefereable to getting too involved with them. PS It appears that interceptions are significant here. The interpretation of interceptions is controversial. I believe that objects within an intercepted sign/house are free, as in 'licence to kill'.

[@e_i_e_i_bro]

🤨

[@لمىالشريف-غ8ك]

To be honest, the videos are becoming more difficult to follow. High professional language. I once saw a social experiment, where the interviewer asked different people, about a so called fancy restaurant or a famous dish. Almost everyone claimed to know it or have tried it. Don't know if that is the same thing. Either society has become highly narcissistic or it is natural to have assertive narcissism.

[@jennyhulme1942]

Thanks for info 🤗

[@KoolT]

They lie to look better and try to fit in. Or take advantage of each other. Quite true.

[@imakefoodhappen]

Do you think the public has a tendency to assume narcissism is way more common than it really is? I feel like half the people i know claim their parent/ex/spouse/boss is a narcissist even though statistically it is not that common. The topic is extremely popular on the internet even though the real life occurance does not match up. Do you think people are inclined to think people they don't get along with are narcissists?

[@mrs.reluctant4095]

You got it. Have a wonderful day! ❤

[@sarahvand3628]

Yep and some ppl prob just give no fucks about others

[@tuftela]

I don't think it is that much over-used. It's just that 1 person can make life difficult for tens or hundreds of others. For every 1 person like this, there will often be many others that can say they've had their lives negatively impacted by that 1 person.

[@Solomon72000]

A lot of religious people seem like assertive narcissists but not all of them.

[@pocoeagle2]

During this video I watched an advertisement about a clinic specialised in treating people with fear of the dentist. Maybe a new topic doc; dentophobia. If you do that one I think I will probably skip it 😁.

[@sarahvand3628]

Lol.. if you are that bad, just go to one who does sedation

[@NarcissisticAbuseRehab]

Your conclusion in this video is right in line with your video about oscillation between overt and covert Narcissism. Bravo 👏

[@DrGrande]

Thank you 🙂

[@lisasmith516]

@@DrGrande Which Video? I heard you mention "Oscillation between Overt and Covert Narcissistic Qualities," but I do not recall a singular, specifically targeted video so entitled. I'm very interested as my family of origins has at least 2 of these CHAMELEON-LIKE Entities, and unfortunately I had to be screwed over by both and perhaps my "Stepfather" was also one. He and one of the original trio, STILL LIVE. Although both, OR either ARE going to be statistical victims soon enough, AGED, DISEASED, BOTH. ONE ALREADY GONE. THESE THREE HAD THE KEYS TO THE "FAMILY POWER OF NARRATIVE" (Storytelling) AND DEFRAUDED ME OF WIDER FAMILY CONNECTION AND CARE AND RESPECT AND I AM 💯 ANGRY ABOUT THE ABUSE AND COVER 😡 UPS! I'm trying to heal from their abuses and not be "Narc bait" ever after. As I still get "targeted" by male/female predators, I'd like to view that Video, very much! I WANT TO BE WELL SO MUCH! Thank you.😋

[@briankelley864]

Narcissist put people on a pedestal and talk so great about them to show you that they are a awesome caring person. Narcissist ask intense personal questions almost off the bat. To use against you when things go south. Narcissist claimed to be expert in certain fields do homework on it and see that they're lying. There is a term to see if somebody is a liar it is called a red light green light. You get to know a person you ask them questions that you know they're not going to lie about like the weather or something else that is obvious and you see the expression on their face tone of voice body language. Then you ask him questions after getting the learn about them and read them you asked him a question that they will lie to and now you see the differences in the face the voice and the body language now you know they are lying and every single time that they show that face they're lying Red light Green light.

[@lawrence6715]

this reminds me of an analysis I heard before regarding megadyscombobulataphrenia and it's many adjuncts and comorbid conditions.

[@miriamgonczarska613]

To add to the problems with overclamiming questionnaire it would make sense to add dyslexia - person can misread or wrongly remember words, especially if made up words or terms sound or spell similarly to existing terms. Dyslexia does effect or correlates with auditory distortion in some cases - so giving this test might be not necessarily used. I also observed that people in some cultures are more scared to appear ignorant or uneducated than others. For example my Polish students have much harder time to ask questions or admit that they don't know something than Americans. It's relating to openness of educational systems. It doesn't mean that American schools are always better. This is just one example how cultural differences can be misunderstood and contribute to wrong assessment of personalities.

[@cyber_surfer]

I've heard some clinical experts say that narcissism is growing into a huge phenomenon and showing no signs of easing anytime soon? If this is true then why bother looking if it's ubiquitous?

[@eugkra33]

So now that I've watched this video I'm very familiar with the foils. I guess I'm guaranteed narcissist now!

[@mariecrowe8843]

Would it be appropriate to use the questionnaire on a first date?🤔

[@glassbackdiy3949]

Do you think Narcissism is increasing in society in general? Around 8-10yrs ago I had a very difficult client, another client after witnessing his narcissistic rage moment at me said "typical Narcissist" first time I'd really thought about it, read some on NPD, then read the David Thomas book (Narcissism behind the mask), I've read much more since (and now have a Phd in youtube lol) but the 10% of society figure that's often quoted seems way too low IME, I wonder if I've just been unlucky, or weather I'm now hyper sensitive; I realise many people have some Narc moments/tendancies sometimes, and that doesn't mean they're crossing the NPD threshold, but I'd put the figure ~30% (not counting online observations). Interesting channel, thanks for your insight.

[@blurrylights6344]

I have recently heard the suggestion that estimates of narcissism in the population are very underestimated since narcissists don't believe there is anything wrong with them so would not seek counseling, they lie all the time to make themselves look good so surveys are not going to be accurate, and the average person doesn't know what it is so would not be able to recognize it. You are on to something.

[@smallerthanlife7664]

Is self enhancement a feature of histrionic personality disorder?

[@mazermajestic]

Would you please talk about over claiming in regards to automotive mechanical knowledge

[@suzycleffi5495]

Thanks for explaining your subject well, I don’t feel like a robot................. I thought I could fix it, empath that I am, it’s getting a little better. I was entertained by a monster.

[@Hugging_Cactus]

many years ago my older brother faked his college graduation in 1988 after 5 years and summer school. back then i didn’t really think much of it. looking back, its incredible how he managed to trick my Dad and many family to drive to Syracuse for a fake graduation. the level of narcissism and psychopathy to pull that off is pretty stunning now that i look back. over the years following his graduation he lived and worked in california. it turns out that he may have found a way to take classes and have them transferred to Syracuse and supposedly they gave him a degree in aerospace engineering. to this day i have never seen his degree. he will tell you his greatness if you ask. he won’t show you his degree. fast forward to 2020. his wife filed for divorce. its supposedly final as of this week, but his name is wrong. this same malignant narcissist managed to defend himself in divorce court using a misleading name. somehow the legal documents and the court docket have his middle name as his last name. in fact, his middle name combined with his last name. it looks like s different person in the court records. if you look up his real name spelled out completely, you can’t find him in divorce court, because he managed to confuse his last name. these creatures are not human.

[@RippleDrop.]

My narcissistic mother always got an anger fit if I asked her anything she didn't know the answer for. My sister's partner constantly lies and talks on subjects as if he's an expert if he heard one sentence about it. The excuses of "I didn't hear that word" or "I know someone who had it" are definitely in the normal excuse category for both of them. I tell you, such a drag these people. "Never" wrong or "never" simply ignorant.

[@bi0lizard1]

“Consumer apparatus” sounds somewhat vaguely familiar to me for some reason? (even though it’s obviously not). I probably would’ve messed up on that one I think.

[@kungfujoe2136]

the thing is it's all things regular ppl are (the npd trades) but turned up to 11 (as in more than 10) but is it really that more than "regular" ppl like let's see how things like unsertain economy how does that infuence the trades if you are afraid there's a chanse you'll lose your job i think it's hard (defendly on a case by case bases) to see the difference between ppl with a pd and with out one specialy if they are functional

[@jaredmello]

Just realized your voice could be ASMR

[@laceyunderall22]

Is anyone else a fan of the TV show Psych? Sean would misuse a word, another character would correct him, and he’d always respond, “ I’ve heard it both ways.” Of course, the audience loves Sean, and the situation is played for laughs. Clearly , though, the writers use their own life experiences to construct these scripts. 😂

[@Zamstein]

How can narcissism be self deception when they can control it? They don’t abuse people in front of a group of others, they can “turn it off” so they know what they’re doing is wrong. Maybe there’s an aspect of Borderline personality disorder involved that’s responsible for the covert insecurity and shame.

[@kurpalm0n966]

R Z Please, go study some more about narcissism, or just forget the whole topic... Do you realize that narcissism as a construct/entity is based on self deception, whereas the BEHAVIOUR of such individuals is a completely different thing? You're somehow summing these two separate things as one. To explain it better: Narcissism is a worldview, and that cannot be controlled by the individual. Would you be able to control your whole personality structure? Good luck with that. A narcissistic individual can behave any way he/she wants, but the behaviour is controlled in order to get a certain leverage against other people. Meaning, that when a pwNPD behaves nicely, they are waiting to get something valuable in return. Also, "playing nice" feels disgusting to them, because the narcissistic worldview doesn't support that kind of action. If you feel like the king/queen of the universe, do you really think stooping to the low level of "normal people" would be very preferable? Also, "turning off" the abuse is just a clever strategy to "play" other people. Narcissists are disconnected from most of their own feelings, and they are not hence even able to care about other people. Other people's feelings do not even exist to them in any meaningful way.

[@teslaandhumanity7383]

Can you watch Armchair Detective, on the air with Mary Marlowe and miss Mensa , they are extremely Strange and upsetting to the YT community.

[@Adara007]

Yes, I must second this request. And if Dr. Grande would like some critical analysis of the 'Armchair Detective', Mary Marlowe &/or "Miss Mensa", there are reputable channels on KZbin that have exposed their narcissism. Alan Vinnicombe (aka the 'Armchair Detective') is, in my opinion, severely narcissistic - if not a man with full-blown NPD. His behaviour regarding the 'Chris Watts case', as he calls it, has been replete with such obvious narcissism and pathological lying e.g. the made up 'Insiders' at Dodge, security guard at Anadarko - both found to have IP addresses in the U.K. not the U.S. - and his having a florist pretend to be a 'psychic' "channelling" Shan'ann Watts. AD's behaviour has been truly disturbing and his motive is money and being seen as famous. Lately, Mary Marlowe has started churning out conspiracy theories saying Chris Watts "doesn't have it in him" to murder and trying to blame NK and the 'Jim' mentioned briefly by NK in interviews with LE. Marlowe also exhibits narcissistic traits which would be amusing perhaps if her theories weren't so hurtful to the Rzuceks and if she weren't also profiting financially from continuing to focus on the case. Lately I read she was asking for PayPal donations so she could take a "holiday" with a daughter - this is quite sickening considering how her rants when not focused on how knowledgeable she claims to be - repeatedly - are disrespectful to the Rzuceks who have not only lost their only daughter in horrific and tragic circumstances but have publicly requested people, especially on social media, cease using the murders to financially profit. "Miss Mensa" has chosen to attack and vilifying Shan'ann Watts to the extent of blaming her for the girl's murders and her own i.e. claiming she pushed Chris Watts to 'snap' and murder her. She's put out books about this, also, and when criticised has instantly played the victims in a manner quite vile considering how she's attacked, defamed and made utterly false allegations up about Shan'ann. She, too, has ignored the Rzuceks' requests to stop and this is despite Frankie Rzucek mentioning her by name along with AD and a few other channel creators. Mary Marlowe has also ignored the Rzuceks' public plea by Frank Rzucek Snr. Hopefully Dr. Grande is already aware of these three characters and, if not, is willing to research their behaviours especially regarding the case of Chris Watts - narcissism is very evident with Alan Vinnicombe/Armchair Detective, Mary Marlowe, and "Miss Mensa".

[@lisasmith516]

@@Adara007 Dear, Dr Grande probably must abstain, I am sure he understands the indignities heaped on the murder victims' survivors and is dismayed. It is an apallingly horrific crime! But, the difficulty is, embroiling himself in something so awful as these KZbin sensationalists with their awful circus side show! As a professional, it just does not work well, and he is, at this point, EDUCATIONAL BUT WITHOUT INTENTIONAL "BIAS" and acts primarily on KZbin as a guide of sorts to General Psychological Deviancy and Abnormalities, but also speaks to frequently encountered Psyche Issues in General. Murderers are discussed diagnostically, but so far as I'm aware, not the profiteers of those VICTIMS and their families, LIKE MEDIA REPORTAGE sensationalizes such horrific crimes as well, most often, ETC....THIS IS not to diminish his private practice or scholarly pursuits. I just think he would have to strain so much to examine it thoroughly, cleanly and ethically that it would become a nightmare BLACK HOLE. HE might do something more general that would encompass their outlandish, venal and subhuman greed and cruelty though! YAY!

[@Adara007]

@@lisasmith516 From the perspective of having a background in the Psychological field, I can understand the problematic issues inherent in addressing those individuals on KZbin directly - especially when it's likely to bring more attention to the channels of those narcissists who have exploited the tragedies for their own financial and psychological gain. It would likely only give them more 'exposure' and now that Dr. Grande's established a channel which is respected as informed by and grounded in science and has become widely viewed, to directly focus upon such individuals would just provide them with attention that I am sure they'd enjoy no matter how negative. What would be perhaps possible would be examining the modern-day tendency to not only sensationalise matters like true crime but to exploit the victims of violent crime as well as their loved ones - and to use social media platforms to do so. The actual case of the murder of Shan'ann Watts (nee Rzucek) and her daughters is a very evident example where this has happened and one which could be examined with regards to the tendency to sensationalism, the way conspiracy theories abound and flourish (especially due to social media), and the behaviours and personality disorders associated with the types of people who engage in such behaviours - including their focus on becoming 'celebrities' (if only in their own minds) by being seen as 'experts' of sorts in regards to true crime, and the focus on financial gain through monetizing such videos and constantly requesting money from viewers. In the U.S. such behaviours not only breach the Crime Victims' Rights Act, specifically "The right to be treated with fairness and with respect for the victim's dignity and privacy", but also the recently updated policies on social media platforms regarding content that promotes "violence or hatred against individuals or groups...and their kin [who were] victims of a major violent event" as seen on KZbin, for example. However, those individuals who were mentioned in earlier comments disregard these rights and policies and they do so most likely due to high degrees of narcissism and sociopathy. Therefore, perhaps what could be examined is the way narcissists and sociopaths use social media with or without examining specific tragic events like the way the murder of Shan'ann Watts and her daughters has been exploited for psychological and financial gain. Certainly, social media is a playground for and much beloved by those with narcissistic and sociopathic traits and this alone is a topic which could be analysed in an objective manner and without necessarily having to name those types who want the attention of an intelligent and highly regarding Psychologist like Dr. Grande. There's a channel on KZbin by a Derek Van Schaik who focuses on body language, criminal investigations and - to a limited degree - psychological matters, and he has analysed the narcissism and sociopathy of certain 'internet personalities' such as Logan Paul - who, among other negative behaviours - infamously mocked the body of a man who had committed suicide by hanging in the Aokigahara forest in Japan. Derek Van Schaik also examined the pathological lying, narcissism and sociopathy that Jake Paul Logan consistently demonstrates on KZbin videos. It would be interesting to see Dr. Grande's extensive psychological knowledge and expertise applied to individuals like those brothers - without necessarily focusing on those two alone - who flourish on and because of social media. Certainly, an analysis of the way social media has contributed to narcissistic and sociopathic individuals gaining attention and financial profit would definitely be interesting and educational.

[@mbuszka5295]

*I have a question...can narcissm appear in PTSD person as a way to cope with after-trauma stress?* Like everyone think Hannibal Lecter is a portret of PSYCHOPATH...But I always rather thought of *PTSD* ... As in genesis to survive he was, unconsciously, eating his BELOVED little sister. Again. BELOVED... He just don't really fit into 'born emotionless' figure... Can You do his *psychological profile* ? That would be DARN interesting...

[@15-gurdjieff88]

M Buszka I’m not a dr but I’ve done a ton of research and it seems it is so, almost a coping mechanism or way of being because you are numb from finding out your life isn’t what you thought it was and in a sense it could be auto piollot mode at least that’s what my experience was, since I then couldn’t trust anyone so therefore I had an air of not caring and not letting people get close or show any emotion while on the inside I’m constantly trying to figure out what went wrong and what is happening in this point of my life... all the while being so in my head but the world and day to day activities goes on so what I show is basically that automatic autopilot mode and it’s narcissistic and luckily just a stage. For I knew it would take me 2 years at least to get better but I can imagine it could be permanent depending on. The amount and severity of trauma....? As for hanibal he was most definitely a psychopath

[@mbuszka5295]

@@15-gurdjieff88 I agree of what You are talking about PTSD, but this is also why I think, CREATION of Lecter is more of a sociopath with PTSD than what I know, through of 13 years of passionate self-studing of psychopathology, psychopath. Or...hibrid that was made by authors. But there are flaws in 'psychopath theory' I am resistant to overlook. First and most important thing, considering genesis, he made it his 'signature' to eat his victims, which looks awfully close to coping with his BELOVED sister tragic death. Which drive me to another question: if truely psychopath, why he cared so much and was in such deep shock after finding out he and others ate his sister to live through? Why, at first, he seems resistant to kill those abusers years later? Why he cared for this older Japanese woman, or let Starling go? Ok last one can be something of shape of Narcissistic Affection, like if person prooved to be interesting, they will be most likely to be 'kept around' in case Psychopath/Sociopath got bored again... but Japanese woman he truely seemed to care for. Anyway, as it is creation it is some mix and as someone with brain dominated by theta waves myself, I definitely CAN see psychopath in him. Brain low on adrenaline and low amplitude of waves, he need adrenaline to stay awake, often...I am guessing on my case. I know, creation and all, but if someone after PTSD can become detouched...can possible sociopathy aspect change details to look like psychopathy? So much questions...so frw answers.

[@15-gurdjieff88]

M Buszka i see what you’re saying.. personally I think there needs to be more study in this area and it should be forefront of all other mental disorders/issues in psychology and basically the development of the human mind.. I think there is more categories that aren’t labeled and therefore we are just throwing an individual into one of a couple categories when there may be many many more... and is it something that should be put into categories? Obviously we’ve went about it wrong because steps would be in place to safe guard against people that cause harm. The only solution I can logically see working is to either test every one at birth and throughout life or they die. (BrAin scans etc) or prevent birth in ones where certain genes are present. I would be in the group that should t have been born if we took that theory... it’s gotten way out of hand. I do know that narcism is spiritual and linked with demons, it’s a world that many are unaware exist and if one teies to show it to others they risk getting put in a mental institution go figure. It’s been years since I watched lecter and his movies.. I do know a man who couldn’t love but yet his relatives he had a sort of love and protection over them but it wasn’t true love and I don’t know what you call it maybe he sees them as an extension of hisself and that’s why ? Too many questions is right and I find this subject fascinating

[@15-gurdjieff88]

M Buszka another way to look at it is one may be born without a soul (psycoyhpath) and one may be born with a soul but they either become “possessed “ or they lose their soul (sociopath )... it does seem they have no soul and if that is the case, then can they ever retain it?? I’d like to think they can but I don’t think it’s ever happened.. one can study it with doctor degree and what have you, but for one to be involved with a narc/psychopath/sociopath, is the only way to “see” what it’s like and how real it is. Words can’t really explain it easily, so many people misuse the words and they have lost their weight or their meaning... have you ever been involved with one? And also I think that because one is psycopath doesn’t necessarily make them bad and it definitely doesn’t make them a killer but I think there is categories/labels that don’t exist that certain types are... reptilian? And there we go again, overusing and misusing words and concepts so it loses its meaning !!! Idk the lady who made the diabolical narcissm video was spot on and shows some good points... I started watching paycopass, thanks for sharing, (phone texting so misspelling sorry )

[@octoberskye1049]

Megaphrenia: a disorder afflicting people who repeatedly use a PA system to announce Store Specials. Pulse tax: what you pay in America because you still have a detectable heartbeat. 😁

[@tim5417]

:)

[@lisasmith516]

Yeah, BUT...Now that we have WATCHED THIS..! We are JUST "DEAD." LoLs

[@mrs.reluctant4095]

Good morning/good afternoon, the best in this video is, that Dr. Grande is smiling at the beginning of it and seems almost relaxed for approximatly 1 second. I don't want to damage this, but I would like to comment the vid nevertheless. Quite frankly, I don't like this topic, Dr. Grande. Or to be more precise, I don't like the underlying motives and social structures I 'd assume are hiding behind this question. (I might be wrong though). I thought about it a while, listened to it twice and asked myself in which context would someone need a test for overclaiming behaviours of others? In a romantic situation? This would be ridiculous. In a friendship: same. The only application area I found, is that you have a situation in a work context, in which a personnel manager is supposed to evaluate if a person is competent for a job or is just faking it and this manager has himself NO competence AT ALL in this very knowledge area. This is something I find criticizable in itself, but I know this is quite often the case. I would think, in a normally functionning working world, this manager would ask the most competent person in the company to sit next to him/her and ask the applicant a few questions and after the job interview this manager would ask the competent person: what do you think about this applicant ? Instead of this, of course, you can use such a test. But again: a competent assessor doesn't need this. OK, what about the personnel manager is more interested to find out how the applicant behaves in social contexts, is he or she an agreeable person? As you just said, you don't need it for the assertive type of N, since it is "easy to spot" by just watching the person. For the antagonistic type, the test doesn't work, just as you said. Vulnerable: same. So what for do you need it? Why does it exist? To cover up that you (the manager) are a hot air merchant and boaster yourself. If you find hate in this comment, you might be right.

[@FrancesShear]

My eldest daughter Rhonda who has a child of her own now told me the other day that someone whom she didn't say what his or name is has been doing investigative work concerning the character of me her biological mother by asking her very personal questions about my character. She said her answer was that me her mother never abandoned her while never giving up. Why would someone be doing that Dr. Grande? Are they only being sneaky or what?

[@juliegarceau5414]

Thanks 🙂

[@Mandooze]

I know this is 3years after this video was put out BUT thankyou nonetheless. I just confirmed some things by listening to this lol thankyou

[@melodysanquist]

He claimed we were together for 2 and a half months even though it had only been two weeks since we met. Why? Because we were messaging over the internet and since we were meant to be together it was actually from the first "Hello". When I had seen other odd beliefs he was expressing I went back to see if he really was with his last girlfriend for the 4 and a half years he claimed they were together and discovered she was only active on his facebook page for 2 and a half years then suddenly disappeared completely. Where were the other two years?

[@ubuntuber1619]

what is the source of a narc's confidence?

[@whoever6458]

With that whole megophrenia foil, I can see right away that you might get autistic people to give a strange answer to that question that could lead people to think they were narcissistic (which they still could be). If someone asked me what that was, I'd definitely start out by saying that I had no idea but I would take the person asking seriously in that they wanted to know what it was so I'd try breaking apart the root words. I would probably say something about how mega usually mean big in some way and, as far as phrenia, I would think of the word phrenetic but I would also think of schizophrenia, so I would probably come to the conclusion that the word might mean an exceptional amount of mental activity and that it was probably a negative thing. Of course, now that I have a smartphone, I'd start with the I don't know part and then immediately pull my phone out to look it up. There's some chance a narcissist would do the same thing, particularly the first part without a smartphone. In any case, if someone starts talking about something you don't know, it seems like you will be more likely to have a longer conversation with them if you ask them about it rather than pretending like you already know about it. That's the only hope of saying anything in the conversation that makes sense anyway if you don't understand something. Sometimes people get upset with me for asking question I should supposedly understand already, but it's actually more surprising how people will answer all kinds of different questions and their answers are usually pretty interesting too. Then, most of them like you at least as an acquaintance because you've asked them about something they like to talk about. It took me a long time to figure this out and I guess I'm kind of lucky that one of my autistic special interests is why other humans do the things they do and what they were thinking to get them to decide to do that.