Crack Addict interview-Patrick (follow up)

[@SoftWhiteUnderbelly]

www.nytimes.com/2016/10/04/well/family/the-4-traits-that-put-kids-at-risk-for-addiction.html

[@sunnycheba]

So are these symptoms? At some point we need to realize we mapped the genome. He clearly has trauma associated with sex. I would say 90 percent of your troubled subjects are victims of sexual abuse. 1 in 4 females before 18 are abused. 10 percent of males.

[@sunnycheba]

And i bet money his enabling parents know more than they are saying.

[@SoftWhiteUnderbelly]

@@thematriarchy2075 ; )

[@thematriarchy2075]

@@sunnycheba Read the article.

[@sunnycheba]

@@thematriarchy2075 i have lived the story. I am not paying for news. I am past the free articles by the 3rd of a month. DUDE talk to your relatives. Tell them this is about healing and forgiveness. Get answers. We have mapped all the DNA.

[@pacolevy3068]

Incredible bravery to come back and do this whole Interview sober. I really admire Patrick’s honesty and wish him all the best for the future!

[@cococoyle6760]

Absolutely

[@Lindy.T]

Patrick, if you're reading this; I could SEE the kind, warm hearted person you really are, and yes, there are people who love you, and yes you've let them down, and yes you're selfish, but what and where in this life does it leave you? More than halfway through this second interview, I saw you becoming the champion for many. Because many need you to do this. You just have to be stronger and stop going back on the promises to yourself and others. Become this person that CHAMPIONS others. Your rewards will be so much better than that crack pipe! Sending you COURAGE, you've got to find it, keep it, use it and then champion it. Blessings.

[@cogitoergosum4695]

Me too, I wish him all the best. Seems like a nice guy in an unfortunate situation. Loving yourself is sometimes a big challenge for us all, drugs or not.

[@lindseysloan8735]

I agree! I wouldn't leave my room let alone go somewhere. Addiction sucks.

[@rebecka2422]

I take it you're not to much team Patrick..lol..how can I help besides for prayers and "digital" support/love? He is really gentle and a sweetheart ➕️🤍➕️

[@virginiamcateer6474]

I'm a recovering heroine & pain pill addict. So I know the struggles. I'm glad he's doing okay. I've been 5 years clean with a 4 year old daughter now & proud. 💜 I wish for Patrick and everyone to be free from their addictions.

[@dannyh5937]

All the best. Thanks for giving me the hope I need to get through the day.

[@sharong8511]

Way to go, Kaitlin! I know how hard it is. I hope Patrick can get clean and stay clean. Crack is more of a psychological addiction than heroin and opiates. It’s a tough one but it can be done. Blessings to you and your dear daughter. 💖

[@danamaupin8318]

So happy for you Kaitlin. Stay Strong

[@Noonecares3203]

So proud of you Kaitlyn. Your daughter is fortunate to have such a strong mom.

[@Sneaky-Snek]

@kaitlin maloryyy just a humble fyi a Heroine is a Female hero type character, Heroin is the drug :P, in a way you are a Heroine to your daughter... my mom got sober when i was born and gave up alcohol for 21 years, im 31 now and reflect on my childhood and how good it was, all due to her struggle and sacrifice keep your strength up and congrats on having a beautiful lil girl, staying clean will make you feel extremely good as you see her grow up more and more :) i'll have 5 years off heroin may 5th 2021 feels really good, i got clean right when fentanyl started blowing up in my area and i know many ppl i know have died from it in the last 5 years and of course, congrats on your sobriety❤❤

[@TenThumbsProductions]

Thank you for being so honest Patrick, I am routing for you man. I'd love to see a follow up 5 years from now with you sober in a healthy relationship, c'mon dude, if you read this, you go this, routing for you man.

[@stevearnold8265]

I’m routing for him too 👍🏻

[@thefalselemon579]

Routing hard for Patrick!

[@swearingpriest98]

Rooting I believe. If you were routing for him I feel like you'd be giving direction or maybe trenching for him.

[@thefalselemon579]

@@swearingpriest98 r/woosh

[@tonyc.7957]

@@thefalselemon579 le reddit plebbit.

[@FatalCharge]

I have never wanted a complete stranger to succeed more than I have with this guy. It’s heart wrenching to listen to him explain his struggle and see how badly he wants to change.

[@rocknrolla2426]

His struggle rings so true with other addicts. It's an old tale that keeps getting re-written over and over and over. What kills me is when you get clean, and start to feel good about yourself, you feel like using again. Like this time it will be different. And in the end, without change, you end up in a motel room jacking your limp cock smoking crack. It's madness.

[@OGRE_HATES_NERDS]

he is objectively a very successful guy

[@samuisun6684]

He doesn't suffer the consequences of his behaviour that might have helped him reach that low point - where he would have had to change or be at risk of losing everything. He has that nice guy thing working for him, but in reality it is the Middle Class White Man that has given him a special kind of protection from the consequences of his decisions. And this is why he is cycling over and over again. I do have sympathy for him, because being molested at a tender age leaves deep scars in the psyche that will always torment, the breaking of something sacred, childhood innocence. But his support system is just so all encompassing, that he just doesnt have the impetus to change his subconscious programming. Who else would imagine being able to hold a 6 figure government job whilst still having serious relapses. A bit like the serial killer who keeps convincing the police to let him go, purely because he looks like Patrick, arrested the first time they kill, but released with little to know investigation, only to kill again and again. I really hope that he stops taking for granted the nice guy aspect of his personality, and the white guy priviledges, and really delves into the child abuse he suffered and really understand that he deserved to have been protected, as all children do, from experiencing that early devastating trauma.

[@jodycolcomb9297]

100% what I am sitting here thinking - he could make such a difference in this world :)

[@KittyCatComa]

"I don't care about my job as much as my life." Exactly.

[@CurtisMarch]

That’s a change from the first interview.

[@alexoverfelt8041]

This dude is my fucking hero man, I watched his first interview and love how honest he was, I’m also an addict and In an Oxford house (sober living house) with 7 months clean and still struggling with wanting to use again. I can relate to everything this dude says. This is my favorite person out of all the interviews. It’s really helped me to hear someone that has a story so similar to mine. You kick ass Patrick! Thank you for being you.

[@cococoyle6760]

Ditto

[@marylougeorge9890]

Congratulations on how far you've come!👏👏👏

[@explicitreverberation9826]

Keep at it !!! THATS AWESOME

[@SetCCC]

Congratulations! It is incredibly hard. You deserve a pat on the back to get this far. 🙌

[@billydiesel8520]

That's great man.

[@timdoyle4902]

I hope Patrick knows he is not alone even in his darkest moments.

[@cindyfitzgerald4500]

You’re right Tim we are never alone!

[@adirondacktrekking1972]

I know ...I fear he may feel alone

[@timdoyle4902]

@@adirondacktrekking1972 don't you just feel if Patrick had someone with him he'd stand a better chance? Patrick seemed scared I think, and if you have a friend life is much less frightening.

[@adirondacktrekking1972]

@@timdoyle4902 ABSOLUTELY bud ,ABSOLUTELY

[@marylougeorge9890]

Amen.❤

[@PauloNideck]

So happy to see this follow up! We need to see him 3 months down the road. He is on his way to getting the help he needs. He is fighting and he is hopeful to be clean, that is already a great start!

[@sunnycheba]

We need to see him in October. Right before the holidays. He has trouble making it through the holidays.

[@jwulf]

You can tell he is so tortured by his addiction but otherwise is such a sweet dude. I empathize with him so much.

[@HockeyVictory66]

He said he has been to rehab 20 times. Until he figures out how to stop these patterns he will be doomed to repeat them.

[@jayrichardson5903]

It does happen, I want you to know... For me it was Love that worked. Archimedes said give me a lever long enough , and I will move the world... Love is the lever, you are the fulcrum...Loverage is my term for it. I was fortunate because if God came to me and said " Tell me everything you want in a son and I will give him to you...I could not have imagined this child. Once I was taught you can only Love someone as much as your self the bridge appeared... I wish I could talk with you. And I want you to know I can see that guy in you... the one that knows your worth it.

[@hollygold4120]

I am so blessed to have the obsession removed and its been 4 years clean now. I hope this too can happen for him. I was a street walking crack head and now I have a beautiful life

[@nonyobussiness3440]

He makes me want to stay sober day 2.

[@reillymoore3257]

You probably did it before so - You can do it again.

[@jayn8392]

How man. How you doing bud? I know the struggle. Hope things are going ok.

[@kaylashaneil6968]

Week #2 hopefully. You're doing great! Keep pushing

[@nonyobussiness3440]

@@jayn8392 not terrible still drinking every night but not as much

[@daultonlitteral3143]

Update ??

[@Ginny71166]

I love this guy. I’m watching all his interviews in order so I don’t know yet where he is now, but I know he has it in him to do this. I’m an addict too. I could get sober but I couldn’t stay sober. …until I did. Now I have ten years, eight months and nine days sober. If I can do it, anyone can do it. Hang on Patrick.

[@jennconte1187]

Good for you!!!🙌🙌 Much love!!❤

[@smurfylee]

I'm doing that now

[@rocknrolla2426]

Awesome Moonchild. Keep it up.

[@mikesmith3064]

Soooooo weird that how u know exactly.... whyyyyy?

[@mikesmith3064]

How many seconds?

[@wyattnataros1313]

You can see on his face that he's fighting his disease every second. you got this Patrick, it's one moment at a time. keep the momentum going, you deserve to love yourself.

[@powerboon2k]

It is so absolutely clear that he doesn't "got this", whatever that means. He seems like a lovely guy with lots of deep problems.

[@resurrectdead8281]

You can def see he’s still struggling, lots of internal conflict. We are all just a couple of decisions away from meeting mark.

[@mindmy609]

Meth and porn is linked to

[@alexblack8648]

@@mindmy609 lmao what

[@black76561]

Agreed

[@davelocke6426]

💯

[@ivy_caine5302]

Amen 🙏

[@bartholjoseph3017]

I want to hug this guy. He’s so honest.

[@HP-mp9wq]

Me too ❤️

[@saudigold50]

Yes ❤️

[@karenmattson6750]

I can relate! 😘

[@Amanda-bt1ur]

@Barthol BRUTALLY HONEST!!!!

[@afterforever2765]

Was thinking the same thing!

[@shopatthecaravan7017]

The antidote to selfishness is purpose. I don’t care if you raise chickens, or have a podcast about addiction, or turn empty lots into Gardens, I have no idea what will flip the switch. In my experience, when you dwell in the dark spaces, it has to do with memories of inadequacy and in my case, I have to mentally force myself to bypass the tarpit. Wishing you all the best, you got the power.

[@johnswafford2614]

Underrated comment

[@TripleG1221]

@@johnswafford2614 Extremely underrated. I relate to this comment 100%.

[@anaya51]

Shopatthe Caravan Beautifully put

[@seancase1543]

Your comment is an aha moment for me

[@brendanoconnorphotography]

Thank you for this

[@sofia5096]

I got sober on rehab 23 I think. There is still hope. This man explained the frustration and insanity behind addiction beautifully. I really pray for him and feel he can do it.

[@sofia5096]

@Christian Torres my first rehab was sophomore year of highschool. I'm 22 now

[@micaiahsimmons7245]

proud of you sis ❤️

[@russpoore8997]

Well done x

[@ahippy8972]

Keep going clean, and well done. The only different thing between having the privilege and love to have a wealthy supportive family and funding for 22 rehab stays and sleeping on a pavement is the love, support and money to help the addict. My family gave me one chance when I was 24 4 years into my hell paid for one week in a religious place and it was hell. They cut of all funds, communication , love, food clothing rent, I had been raped and kidnapped which started it but my wealthy family did not believe me. I had been a grade A student till then. Please understand how lucky you are. Make the most of your freedom and all the love and support whoever paid 22 rehabs before you hit 22 make sure you thank whoever did that for u. I think you can go on to a wonderful life . Stay positive and sharing your story can give others hope! Peace!

[@sofia5096]

@@ahippy8972 I understand the privilege and actually am focusing on it for my studies. Just hit two years clean.

[@NNA1958]

Clean and sober at the “moment” he is so damn honest and aware of his reality! I really hope he gets the help he needs. 🙏🏾

[@huvvy]

Damn right it's refreshing to see someone take accountability I git respect for him

[@najjimohammad9124]

He’s one of the most interesting stories on this channel so far for me. Living a double life many can’t understand, he really shows how addiction affects any and all. He’s a very level headed person though even in the last video I know he’ll get right.

[@boidinktwistie4389]

i guess that's the thing about addiction, you don't really know if he will. obviously everyone including myself wants him to get well, we really don't know if we ever will.

[@douglasnicholson3535]

Bipolar

[@jourdanwinters7644]

Your honesty is your ticket out, Patrick. The fact that you see things so clearly can get you where you want to go. Just use it, and treatment. You got this ❤️

[@ccelaya3]

Wow, Patrick reminds me so much of my brother. We just buried my 50-year-old, kind-hearted, talented, engineer, ADHD brother from cocaine/fentynal. He just didn't show up to work, so the police found him when doing a well check. Through my tears, I looked at him in his coffin and it was strange to see his body holding still, no more twitchiness. I hope he is free and happy now in heaven after a 30-year struggle of always feeling shame and like he was a loser, always disappointing himself and our family. We love him and our family is heartbroken. Wish the world knew more about how to switch someone's brain away from addiction. Thank you for bringing attention to this sad, devastating problem.

[@2passportsandpostcards]

Holy cow. He is a COMPLETELY different person. LITERALLY different.

[@Jessiemess85]

What a kind soul. I only wish I had his honesty in life

[@cococoyle6760]

Amen and Awomen

[@markoembarko9045]

"Anything I do, I do it addictively." Same, Patrick.... Same.

[@calebrouth7849]

I hate that I relate to this.

[@k_roc200-32]

Most addicts trade one addiction for another. Whatever they do they do it in excess weather it be drugs, sex, exercise, eating- they have addictive personalities

[@user-xf3ob2wp4y]

Cookie monster

[@markoembarko9045]

@@k_roc200-32 Very true!

[@markoembarko9045]

@@k_roc200-32 I'm saying #truth from experience.

[@ashleycheechoo3845]

Patrick is living proof that addiction does not discriminate. We are rooting for your success in sobriety. You are worthy of the deepest joy and love.

[@Next2TheMoon]

Something about him is just so loveable. Full, permanent recovery IS possible Patrick, never give up.

[@dodgernation5865]

His honesty is pure, his willingness to change even while being addicted is profound. Praying he sees the light at the end of the tunnel. Keep pushing Patrick. We’re pulling for you.

[@andykaos9426]

Patrick is such a troubled soul. I am currently in recovery myself and this video really, really spoke to me. I wish him the very best and I truly hope he can make it to the other side, safely and happily.

[@Next2TheMoon]

Wishing you the very best, and I truly hope you make it to the other side, safely and happily as well brother

[@houndjr40]

Patrick needs a KZbin channel. You can tell such a good guy.

[@stevenseventyeight3287]

for real!

[@donsolo7860]

I think there’s enough crackheads on YT, he needs to focus on recovery and keep us updated via Mark.

[@miapdx503]

@@donsolo7860 ty

[@houndjr40]

@@donsolo7860 I'd rather not see him on crack ever again. He's real and honest, with a very real story people can relate to. Nothing wrong with a fan base that will support him and keep him accountable. He's easy to connect to and could impact a lot of people's lives... Especially if he beat this disease.

[@jaym.1158]

Needs recovery first

[@gravelgirls]

I can see this guy getting clean and helping others in the future.

[@RonKent-not-Clark]

Brother, I have done it more times than I can count. Lost everything more than once, now I am sober and clean more than 5 years. U CAN DO IT!

[@jujubaby614]

Did you have to relocate to recover??

[@SquirrelTruck84]

I've been sober 13 yrs. I still have nightmares, bad memories, and regrets. Changed my social circle. Transitioned to a gym addiction. A traveling job got me away n now I'm high on money building my life up. Remember there's never gonna be enough of it to make you happy. The sooner you're off for good the better.

[@colleenlally-ross7105]

I still dream about doing drugs, wake up with a start even feeling shame at times.

[@Anibanani501]

This has got to be my most favorite person that you've interviewed. I genuinely like this guy. I see how awesome he is through the haze of addiction.

[@meekmillions6545]

First, man this guy must really be an asset to his job. He needs to count his blessings and use that same energy to leave the drugs behind, surround himself with like minds that want the best for him and people he will humble himself too and actually listen too. He seems to need intense counseling moreso then another rehab.

[@ccvjd3909]

Nah. He's protected by laws. When you have an addiction to a substance , your company is not legally allowed to fire you for that. They have to try and help you before they fire you, or they can successfully be sued for wrongful termination. This would cost them more money than trying help the employee. At least that is how it is in Canada .

[@missmandys7071]

In US they can't say that's why they are firing you but they can say missed to many days. Unless he goes to a rehab or hospital they can not fire him for that or missing the days then.

[@seonlee4822]

Hes a unionized LA city employee. Itll be harder to fire him than get him help. Plus the lawsuits he could file after termination.

[@canbac4300]

exact same thinking ! i'm surprised his job is putting up with him! if he had cancer & dr told him you can get rid of it by quitting this ONE thing how fast do you think he'd stop? EXACTLY!!

[@marylougeorge9890]

You make sense but, you don't have the hunger for crack.

[@Backhand_Drew]

" The more I do these, the more I start to suspect or fear that we never really change." Be careful with your words because this is so profound that relapsing might be the only option some people see.

[@SoftWhiteUnderbelly]

It’s hard to be a Pollyanna when only one or two out of 2600 have turned things around. It isn’t easy to sit here on the front lines and stay optimistic.

[@Backhand_Drew]

Soft White Underbelly I couldn’t do what you do and please I can only say this from the comfort of my own home. You have a heart of gold and these stories support a larger picture. It’s with huge guilt I even offer advice as my life goes on. Maybe I’m just pulling for a future without impedance when that’s the product of the process.

[@Lexielouwho]

@@SoftWhiteUnderbelly I understand what you're saying about being pollyanna cause you've been in the trenches and you've seen the reality of addiction from these interviews but I gotta say when you told him people don't really change my heart sunk for this guy. You basically told him don't bother trying, no one changes anyhow. I felt his hope, the little he had just go up in smoke. Maybe it's not a good idea to tell an addict that you've not seen but 10%of people change. The message they hear is why try then. But I do get it being hard to stay positive when all you see is the devastation. I couldn't do what you do. I grew up with an abusive addict older brother and he's now in his fifties and from age 12 he's been an addict. So I can believe most don't change cause I've seen that first hand.

[@gwynethjones3503]

Soft White Underbelly, words have power. Not everything you think needs to be said. Patrick was struggling so hard and you told him addiction is a matter of willpower and intelligence, and people don’t change.

[@mumik1750]

@@SoftWhiteUnderbelly some of us do. 2 years sober almost here. My mom is 3 years, you should talk to her... they are putting her story in "the big book". Some of us do turn things around but your statement is true... even for us addicts active in helping others in recovery. It's hard to see the people who die, don't come back, or continuously go back to using. There's moments of lucidity in life, the addict needs to strike continuously in those moments, just as if they were using, to build back up. Just one day at a time. I lost my brother in 2016 to addiction, i miss him terribly. I hope Patrick is doing better. 🙏

[@jkuebler89]

Guys holding onto so much guilt and regret it's keeping him down. It would be a shame for him to be lost to addiction forever. He's got light and honesty to share. A powerful combo.

[@Lenitum]

I watched all Patrick’s interviews and I came to a conclusion that I recognize some of his personality traits and motivation in myself, even though I have never used any drugs in my life. I am a 34 year old woman, coming from a good, loving family. For most of my life I remember chasing something, trying to please other people, impress them but at the same time I always put myself last, I could never be content with myself. In my teenage years I struggled with anorexia, and that felt like I am in control of something (my weight) even though it was the exact opposite. I didn’t live, I existed and I hated myself. I am a perfectionist too, smart, well educated, ambitious person, but career was never the answer to me. I only became happy when I let go of all of it. And then I became mom and that led to me growing even more as a person. My kids are everything to me but even now I have to constantly remind myself to take are of me. Love myself

[@peterocallaghan8614]

Love this guy. Watched his last interview and his explanation of crack addiction was spot on. I related so much. His honesty is awesome

[@TimeWatch5]

At least he didn't get fired on his day off for stealing boxes.

[@MariselaR.da1daOnly]

Definitely does not happen that way for everybody. Answers a lot though. If you are looking.

[@azuresonic69]

Friday reference!

[@justme-qp8nz]

@@azuresonic69 lol I literally screamed when I read that. We love Friday in the UK 😍😍

[@franciscvmpbell]

Now I know you don’t smoke weed, I know this, but imma get you high today. Cause it’s Friday, you ain’t got no job, and you ain’t got shit to do!

[@nikobello6173]

What the fuck you stealing boxers for? Tryna b in a club house???

[@LadyRow00]

He is so worthy of happiness, love, and life. Hope he sees that for himself one day. Also, how handsome is he?! Stud.

[@jessicavsbridget]

I've never touched a drug and probably never will. I do, however, have chronic clinical depression. It's insane to me how much I see of myself in this man. Our lives are so different, but this broken part of our brains that we can't understand is what unifies us. Sometimes I feel like I'm addicted to depression and it always comes back, like Patrick was describing with relapse.

[@ohmilanticocean6075]

🥺💜 this is so true. I always wondered why I shared such a .. bond when I am not an addict myself. Stay strong jess ♡

[@Alexander_W]

I suffer from both chronic treatment resistant depression and addiction. Many of the symptoms are synonymous. Especially the crippling hopelessness.

[@rikkiross8416]

Had 7 years. relapsed during covid, 4 days I'll have 6 months again. Work, AA, work at a treatment facility. One thing no one really understands is the mental state after a relapse, its a different realm of mental and emotional hurdles to get over. Which in return makes the decision so much easier to use again, so much stronger. Also I never hear anyone be honest about a big reason to use is because it feels good, the high is great. Its so immense that keeping a steady great life it almost trumps it. The daily work at keeping a spiritual mind and making the right choice is work everyday for an addict when they know in the back of their mind, there is a simple release, and to be like normal people who are just able to have a drink to relax. The jealousy. I love that you do this. I so want to pick your brain. This is something I strive for, to do. To be a voice. The way you tape these are so emotional, the filter, the background, the angle. I truly appreciate you. Mr. Soft White Underbelly . Thank you.

[@jg5624]

This is incredible insight, thank you for sharing.

[@goatpepperherbaltea7895]

Sup now

[@rollaroyce747]

He’s a nice guy wish him the best...

[@tshirtfactory07]

@Bob Donaldson it is absolutely a choice at one point or another. Just as asinine as it is to just say "oh well I have this disease, I cant help it....." it is just as ridiculous to ignore the fact that some people are not able to overcome the drive to do these drugs and seek out these feelings.... It is wired in thier brains the exact same way that your's is to seek food, shelter and things that bring you comfort. I tell people the the desire for the addict to abstain from use is just like the desire for a truly starving man to ignore the basket of bread and butter waiting for him in the pantry. Understanding addiction and the addict is to become absolutely compassionate towards addiction and the addict.

[@WestonEvans]

Being a “choice” doesn’t negate it from being a disease. You’re also simplifying it by acting like it’s a single choice. “Do or do not.” It’s multiple choices, multiple decisions. Sometimes 60 every minute. That’s abnormal. That’s not normal human biology. An addicts brain is chemically altered. Regardless of how it got there, it’s there now. Can’t make a single choice to get it back normal. It’s hundreds, thousands and millions of decisions between active addiction back to some semblance of normalcy. Whereas it’s a fraction of choices to end up off the deep end.

[@marylougeorge9890]

@@tshirtfactory07 Good comment!

[@marylougeorge9890]

@@WestonEvans 👍

[@tshirtfactory07]

@@WestonEvans i was arguing the same case. I am a recovering heroin addict. I didnt mean to make it seem like I was simplifying the issue. My response was anti to the original poster's statement that addiction is merely a choice rather than a disease.

[@eliwahuhi]

I felt it when the interviewer said that you want everyone to love you, because you can't love yourself.

[@leighannblaylock7815]

I love that he addresses he doesn't care about the job so much and getting sober. This speaking to the city / state with their caring and understanding nature

[@jenniferlucic6144]

This man is so incredibly raw and honest, I couldn't stop watching and my heart goes out to him. Speaking as a former addict, it's not easy, but as time goes on, it does get easier. Praying for this man!

[@missroobeevetivernosit870]

I’m a recovering meth addict. I really hope this guy succeeds in his sobriety. Once I kicked the addiction life is really amazing. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@VivaRevolucionDGS]

Congratulations. Wish you nothing but the best

[@rachaelmiller357]

Glad he’s look to get help and treat his underlying issues. Good luck Patrick 🙏

[@mariebernier3076]

Agree.That's the only way that he'll be able to stop using. The urge to use will never really be 'removed.' Some people run from this task their whole lives.

[@BigVA]

It scares me how much I have in common with this man. Hope he makes it.

[@MartinClimbs]

I hope you find whatever you are looking for Vincent, best of luck.

[@autumnfatale]

Don't be afraid to ask for help!!

[@alialiayyy]

Just watched this and had exactly the same thought. You aren't alone

[@cabr3ra]

My last job, if you get caught high they fire you but if you ask for help, they work with you. So they tell you during orientation, to ask for help. I wish they did this with patients who have depression and mental health issues.

[@marylougeorge9890]

Yes.

[@keroclow9059]

It os because its easier to see. Depression and illness isn't always noticeable until it's to late

[@MissTikka]

I’ve just started the Patrick series and I’m really hoping that the 2021 updates show him in a better place. I can see him as a brilliant husband/father and I’m sure that will far outdo any high that crack induced. We are all rooting for you dude x

[@gutz323]

I Was thinking the same thing. If he had a stable relationship and maybe a kid, he would have real responsibilities that he couldn't so easily get out of. He doesn't seem the type of person to run off on a crack binge if he had real important responsibilities, because he seems so genuine and honest. He needs something in his life to ground him, some other thing that he can't get away from other than addiction.

[@jettmorris6985]

@@gutz323 Not at all necessarily…. Having a Wife & kid can just as easily create more stress and anxiety to possibly trigger him wanting to use just that much more. What he “needs” is a set schedule that keeps him busy to point of mental exhaustion and mixed in there some free time to do hobbies that he has constructed from interests he had from being a kid/teenager. Mine is mountain biking and running. I’d rather sit around and do fentanyl but trying to structure the day with positive shjt is so key to being able to stay off of it. Idle hands is the absolute worst thing for any addict.

[@gutz323]

@@jettmorris6985 I know having your own family won't work for everyone, but this guy I think it could. On one of his videos (not sure if it is this one) he said he had no money and wanted to score. The drug dealer walked away because the guy had no money to pay for the drugs, but then the dealer dropped 20 dollars by accident when he walked off. The guy was desperate, yet he called the dealer back and told him he dropped some money. This act tells me that the guy is honest and compassionate, and would put others infront of himself, that is why I think a wife and child could work with this guy, because he would go out of his way to look after someone who he has responsibility for. I think what is missing in his life is responsibility and love. It seems he cares for others more than he does himself, but at the moment he has no responsibilities, thefore he has nothing to worry, about and he just destroys his life because he doesn't love himself, yet I do believeif if he truly loved someone else he could overcome his problems. The key to all of his problems is true love, whether that be himself or someone else, I don't think he has either.

[@desmondcrowley4499]

These 2 interviews hit me in so many emotions it's unreal.

[@mayflower2314]

It must be so aggravating being this self aware while fighting addiction, Thank you for the follow up. I wish you well Patrick

[@benh1424]

You have to be self aware to quit. First step... If you don’t realize what’s going on, it’s hard to change because change what?

[@benh1424]

But yes, the first step is terrible. Because it’s you and step 1 -> to the end

[@tothemoon.7773]

Love watching Patrick .been through it mate.its not easy

[@terrythetuffkunt9215]

You aussie bro?

[@michaelhaile6371]

Wow, he seems like totally different person. I know he is struggling. Stay strong.

[@UNcommonSenseAUS]

@@terrythetuffkunt9215 sounds like it, or a pommie

[@jonnylons1]

I love the way the interviewer actually spends most of this trying to help Patrick

[@marylougeorge9890]

I'm sure Mark usually is determining if the interviewee can be helped and how. Watch Mark's interviews of himself on this channel and the full interview on Koncrete.

[@ducknoired]

The perfectionism feels really key here. Patrick you have so many ingredients of recovery going on. It seems like when you don't 'do the opposite' of addiction, or you have a relapse, everything falls apart and you lose your sense that you've made any progress. But maybe part of staying stable and clean is recognising that sometimes you are going to feel selfish or act selfish or have an off day or underachieve, just like all the rest of us. Maybe you'll even relapse here and there. And get back on the horse, holding on to your sense of self regardless.

[@stevehunt914]

Great insight!

[@stephmeek3955]

Absolutely! After my last depressive episode.....I was constantly saying I need to eat healthy, I need to exercise etc etc. My husband gave me my new motto of today, I just need to be.

[@elcid8889]

👍

[@__iconoclast7744]

Crazy dude was all the way fried on crack last interview, the difference is so insane. Would never bare myself like that. Takes serious courage

[@sherridickey7351]

Someone in the comments put we're all just a decision away from meeting mark that pretty much is the truth anyone at any time can pick up and start using any drug most of my friends my brother died from heroin and when you look over and see someone nodding out you already know in your head they're not feeling nothing. I just got lucky and chose not to go down that path of self-destruction I already knew what it does to people I just got lucky everyone's got their problems and their own demons and their own stories I wish him the best

[@marylougeorge9890]

Amen. We all have Something we're struggling with.

[@user-zi1kl4zf4g]

Spot on

[@bigone5757]

Patrick i wish that you get through this, stay clean and live a happy and fulfilling life! I believe in you, hold on to your hope! I appreciate you and your honesty

[@EbonynIvory83]

What a difference. He's a handsome man.

[@Suitcase__21]

I’ve never been this invested in a complete stranger. This man is very relatable, articulate, and honest.

[@shelby5t1]

Patrick, do you know how many lives you have impacted by these interviews? Right there you're helping people. If you help us, let us help you. You have so much to offer the world. I hope you take the road to a Rehab center. You can do it....you make it ...for long term. For life. You said you like to make people happy....here's your chance...makes us all happy and PROUD. Let us watch you succeed. I have faith in you. Hugs to you XO

[@shadowsergo6604]

We Do Recover! 2/6/18 Sending love to you and every other addict out there reading this ....

[@whatdoyoulivefor735]

"When you're going through Hell, keep going." -Winston Churchill Patrick, you remind me of myself when I was deep in the hell of addiction. I'm praying for you, my friend. To get over mine was purely awful. I had to accept that I was going to be deeply and horrifically depressed and useless for, possibly forever, wishing only for death. It was the hardest pill to swallow and after I finally did, I entered a different, waaay worse kind of hell. But in that hell I was facing up towards the light instead of lighting down towards the darkness. It was the worst time of my life but by the grace of God I accepted it somehow. The commitment to stop felt like deciding to jump out of a speeding hell-bound train, knowing I'm choosing to break both my legs and that I'll have to start an excruciating crawl in the opposite direction. I wish no-one ever had to go through it. I don't even understand how I did... I can't say I know what you're going through but I know you're extremely brave for keeping on and I know that by the grace of God you'll get out of this once and for all.

[@marylougeorge9890]

💖

[@coolinism]

❤👏👊

[@Beefwelliington]

I wonder if anyone has suggested to Patrick maybe just giving Psychedelic retreat a try, I have just seen it work for friends and heard great things, it could be worth a try to learn to love yourself again and I hope to see you again in a follow up video, remember there is always a road for redemption and forgiveness, all the best to you Patrick.

[@marylougeorge9890]

That's for Acknowledged PTSD. I have heard there are good results with veterans.

[@pothandlepeddlar]

I agree with this. Hope he sees this.

[@jocelynmorales9984]

@@marylougeorge9890 it’s not only used for that, it’s used for alcoholics and drug addicts too.

[@jocelynmorales9984]

Yes! I’ve known people who are really bad alcoholics do a 7 day retreat and completely transform.

[@marylougeorge9890]

@@jocelynmorales9984 Cool!

[@gb6779]

People like this are the best teachers

[@KINDAtheexpert7608]

Idk how old this guy is but I'm 31, and have battled addiction for OVER a decade and a half and I literally RELATE to every word this guy says. He is an older version of me. Funny how we can relate. BEST OF LUCK BROTHER✊

[@tommylundy2495]

"I would've been great" you still have the opportunity to be whatever you want. You still have time. I wish you the best. I totally get when he talks about the 'novelty' of being clean wearing off. It's like another high that you get bored of, and your brain tricks you into rewarding yourself for feeling great, with your drug. The mind is a crazy thing

[@roannfrome1025]

He's such a good guy can't help but love him. And I totally understand him, too.

[@pri.sci.lla.]

Addiction absolutely is a disease (complex brain and body disease according to experts). I’m glad to hear his employers are kind and hopefully they work with him.

[@mpat100]

no its not, its a weakness, get on with it

[@Melvin0546]

Both wrong

[@turbosnail159]

@@mpat100 Really? wise up murph

[@JanoyCresva]

Its not a disease. Its a CHOICE and then a string of bad decisions. This is coming from a former meth, alcohol, and heroin addict. Been clean for 7 years now. Normally people that say its a disease are people who have ZERO CLUE about drugs, medical workers who want that sweet insurance money, or addicts who want an excuse for continuing to fuck up. I've actually held heroin in my hand during recovery and handed it back to a friend because he wanted to show me "Some BOMB SHIT BRO!" ONce you're clean for long enough to not withdrawal, saying its a disease when you CHOOSE to use again is like saying cheating on your wife is a disease. Its ridiculous.

[@quirkypurple]

I dont like the "its a disease" mantra because I think it absolves the owner of responsibility. Addiction, I think, is a symptom of a painful life, trauma, unresolved mental health issues. And when you tackle those issues, then the symptoms can go away.

[@melissam9555]

Oh my goodness. This guy is so articulate. I think this is the greatest description I've ever heard regarding our inner struggle with addiction. I hope he's finding peace and freedom.

[@Lordfinessse]

8 years clean today, but still dealing with the physical and mental fallout

[@Jordan-il1pq]

I’m so glad that he still has his job but you can look at him and see how deeply he’s hurting. His eyes are so lifeless and I can almost feel how tired he is of fighting this. I have so much hope for him. He seems like such a genuine person who just wants to love and be loved. I could see him really being able to help others stuck in this cycle. I hope he can get healthy and get the life that he wants and deserves soon.

[@goldenarm009]

The thing I love about your portraits is it highlights the asymmetry of the human form. Many people think we are symmetrical and that is very rarely the case. The resulting asymmetry - stripped of color and devoid of a pose or smile - combined with the often rugged look of people that have lived difficult lives, make these the realest photographs I’ve ever seen.

[@marylougeorge9890]

I love black and white photos. No color to get in the way of what the pic radiates.

[@randyrawdingii5135]

Hey brother, I've dealt with the shame too. Never thought I could be free. Clean 5 years now. Don't give up on yourself.

[@chirabowles498]

He is so smart in so many ways. I would suspect that his first sexual experience plays a huge roll in all of this.

[@violamcviolet2222]

I agree. He said in the last video that he wasn't sure if it was related or not, but I think it's worth examining in depth.

[@jcbbb]

Meth and Crack flip a switch in your mind (especially men) that stimulates sexual desire That's why everyone watches porn for 24 hours straight It will make the most honest man a pervert

[@cloud-seven]

Nothing to do with a soul-less society and a broken vessel

[@unbers4127]

I only discovered this channel in the past couple of days but I've watched dozens of these videos. It's incredible. If this stuff was shown on national television we would have a more empathetic, kinder society.

[@marylougeorge9890]

Patrick, thank you for doing these interviews. Your honesty has pulled down the walls of lies on addiction proving that it isn't about a class or color stereotype. You did more good here than you know. I do hope to hear from you again. I'm saying a prayer for you. ❤❤❤

[@CMoore8539]

Patrick, I used to be addicted to crack cocaine. I have finally stayed clean from it for over ten years. The more I did it, the more depressed I became. The thing that saved me was getting away from all the people places and things that made it easy for me to use. You deserve so much better than this. You can do this! I was really out there. I got into drugs real deep. I’m clean now. Just remember there are many of us out here. If you need to talk to someone, reach out. There’s always someone you can talk to. The road that you’re on leads to throwing away all of your money, along with your self respect. You deserve better!!!💘👍💯

[@marylougeorge9890]

💖

[@danevertt3210]

People, places and things

[@littv7509]

Thank you! You're right!

[@cdeezy2718]

"I tried to use my crackhead brain; to solve my crackhead problems" I dont even smoke crack... but can relate 😭😭😂

[@sewardcurrie]

true dat brother...

[@summerluvkisses]

@@sewardcurrie 😅😂😂

[@blackcloudtattooer9255]

Addiction is removing everything for one thing. Freedom is removing one thing for everything

[@Timmsy]

Patrick, the only thing that freed me from a 17yr iv meth habit was praying and supernatural intervention. I believe it's a demon that we're saddled with. Everything you said in your 1st interview resonated with me. Never could I have believed it was possible to live without the urges. It can happen!!! Going on 4yrs now and life is better than ever. Praying for you brother 🙏 💙

[@CovidisfakeCovidisfake]

Same problem love taken risk cant say no when free

[@doctorboxing5106]

@@CovidisfakeCovidisfake Same. I got that demon on my back and I can't get it off. Glad you found they way out. I need to try using your methods but I have trouble believing in God. Their are so many religions and I stuggle chosing one because I don't know which one is the right one. Like I don't want to get into one and it will actually make my problem worst or send me to hell for sure lol.

[@tommylundy2495]

He's still got a level head on his shoulders. I'd say it was the worst comedown of his life realising he had been insanely honest whilst tweaking for everyone to see. When you're high its common to be almost too honest, too bare. It could drive a human to do something terrible. I hope this guy gets better. He needs to get away from the city. Unfortunately it seems this guy still thinks he's in his 20s in some regards. Like his mind was frozen at 25

[@wesleyalan9179]

I was thinking the same thing, get away from the city

[@tommylundy2495]

@@wesleyalan9179 also, he seems to have the most understanding employers ever to walk on earth, I work in film and if you so much as smoke weed or party a little you might as well have only one arm 😂

[@MarkGelderland]

@@tommylundy2495 Really? I thought everybody in the film world was doing cocaine

[@tommylundy2495]

@@MarkGelderland the higher ups probably but its looked down upon as a grip or whatever. Everyone does it you just have to act like an angel in front of the right people. Smoke and mirrors as they say. Also maybe it's just the Irish culture. Drinking problems are constantly overlooked though

[@wesleyalan9179]

@@MarkGelderland ..that probably depends on who you know, or who you are

[@BoomCliq]

This video has helped me shift my mindset. I cherish this channel and all of the people on it. Thank you :)

[@Noonecares3203]

We all have addictions. I am also a perfectionist and it’s hard to live that way. He is so honest with us and himself. I believe he will overcome this. I believe in him. I think he can change. He may not lose the desire to use, but I think his desire to be better will prevail. He’s a strong person. He’s been fighting a long time.

[@Mint-kj9kw]

I hate when people say this. I'm not addicted to anything....food, television, alcohol, drugs, social media, porn, masturbation, etc. There are tons of healthy people out there that don't need to "cope" in life.

[@Noonecares3203]

@@Mint-kj9kw I think I should have rephrased that as “ a lot of people” rather than “we all”

[@herelieskittythomas3726]

Now I know how to explain why I can't fix my mental health problems when my family asks me. I can't fix this with the same brain that is sick. Thank you ❤

[@NASkeywest]

God is the answer. Our problems are to big to defeat by ourselves. Let go and turn the control over to God. Just go where he leads you and everything will work out.

[@Skulls123go]

I've never wanted anyone to be truly OK more than this guy. Self worth and depression is something I have fought with for a long time. I actually found saying "f*ck it!" to what anyone's thought or opinion on me mattering to be very freeing. I adopted a son and work a rewarding job in animal welfare. These are the things I live for now. I wish there was something I could do to help. This is a person with an amazing mind that NEEDS to be in this world. More people like this. I dunno. I don't comment much on videos at all, but this was written with 100% sincerity. If you ever find your way through New Jersey my doors and mind are open.

[@candypuff5014]

Patrick you are awesome! From my personal experience i needed a long term treatment, over a year. I found that I all the information in the world couldn't help me without having a long period of practice. Had to practice sober life to be ok with it.

[@FunkaliciousFeline]

I think addiction is one of the most fascinating phenomenons. He’s addicted to crack, and 3/4 of the white collar workers are addicted to caffeine, some to sugar. It’s not life-ending, but it’s still addiction. We are all addicted to something. Hope he sees his way through, he’s got so much wisdom.

[@sewardcurrie]

well said girl..and true

[@Boljarin]

Crack is a very different beast compared to the other things you mentioned.

[@Zepster77]

There is no comparison

[@TheDrnknmnky]

Ye coffee and chocolate natures crack xD

[@brandonstephens1447]

Yea true we all have addictions but you can compare crack cocaine addiction to sugar or caffeine. While they are both addictive, they’re totally different beasts with extremely different outcomes.

[@mamabear31_ten79]

I really think he needs to get to the root of the problem...when he was sexually abused. His sex addiction, low self worth, desire for people to love him, depression stems from here. I pray he eventually succeeds.

[@cloud-seven]

or he likes smoking crack

[@MarkAlgar1878]

I love Patrick's honesty. Such a rare commodity in an addict. I hope you eventually get and stay clean and maybe help others get clean . Best of luck to you.

[@kolebronson24]

You are a beautiful soul Patrick. Thank you so much for sharing your story and your honesty. I hope you're able to find peace.

[@thepersianpapi]

Discipline is the highest form of self love!

[@franktrautman2817]

Yeah try that theory with diarrhea let me know how that works for you

[@jpjpvds]

Dude please!!! Crack schmack. Living without using will mean nothing. Giving up crack will just be the beginning . It's just the way you deal with your problems currently. Your medication is crack, the problem is your mental health. After crack the real work begins. But when you're sober you can do the work necessary to get better!!!!!!! Take care dude!

[@marylougeorge9890]

Excellent comment!!! Truth!👏👏👏

[@LJ-jw4td]

My algorithms filtered a video about some of the universities there in LA, it was a video about students that were homeless or hungry. The video I saw was a university food pantry, I swear, it was this guy, Patrick in there and the video was from several years ago. Either way, the treadmill of rehab for drug addiction doesn’t seem to be the problem. Mental health.

[@marylougeorge9890]

@@LJ-jw4td Yes, mental health.

[@UNcommonSenseAUS]

Yeah, and his mental problems are a product of this sick as fuck society, thank christ its nearly over.

[@j.sheila7025]

@JP JP You're absolutely correct

[@lunkerjunkie]

Love yourself doesn't work for people who don't feel safe. Safety is primary.

[@delusionallarry3310]

Just a normal guy, feeling for this dude. May God give you the strength to pull through brother.

[@onelogue]

God wont do shit. Us fellow humans can lift him up. Even church begs for money to stay afloat.

[@Chelseaaa626]

My heart broke a little bit when Mark said the more he does these interviews the more he feels people don’t change

[@dgbennet]

Yeah. He back-tracked when he realised that wasn't the most encouraging thing to say

[@Chelseaaa626]

@@dgbennet dang. I wonder if he believed his back track or just said it for good optics

[@Nick-fb9uq]

"My own strength always fails".. thats a broken man. Please be sure he gets any help he can.

[@ifixiphone3g]

I share your story Patrick. However brief of a moment and temporary, crack melted away my heavy shame and gave me instantaneous tranquility and self acceptance.

[@jasmineluyster5085]

Patrick I hope u see this. Now is your time! I’ve struggled with addiction most my life also. I will have 2 years clean in may. All your struggles have led u to mark and now your story is out there to help others. You inspire people and can save lives u should look into getting a casac certificate and being a counselor? Always remember...It works if u work it, your worth it so work it live it & love it & all that good stuff.

[@blazefairchild465]

Great job ,to hear 2 years clean is always hope for others !

[@marylougeorge9890]

Congratulations!!!😊💖

[@matthogg2252]

I too have struggled with addiction my whole life and will be 2 years sober in May. Listen to your Mom, keep trying , all you can do is try again. You will break through. Have faith , you’re not alone. All the best.

[@marylougeorge9890]

@@matthogg2252 Congratulations.😊😎💖

[@ahfro_baang]

Wishing you all the best Patrick on your healing and sobriety process! May you come through this experience stronger, more resilient and with a clearer understanding and connection of the rest of what life has in store for you. 🙏🏽✨💛