Retired Cop interview-Kevin

Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Kevin Donaldson, a retired cop in New Jersey.
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[@thesufferingpodcast]

Mark, thank you so much for having me. It’s a cleansing experience.

[@thematriarchy2075]

Thank you for sharing with us ❤

[@tonybatycki]

Great insight on PTS and synapse damage. Thank you for sharing your story as well.

[@maureenmartini5094]

It takes a lot of strength to tell your story. Thank you for sharing with us!

[@tainehasselberg2272]

here ye

[@beastyboyBlue]

Thank you Kevin for sharing your story,it was so brave of you. Best of luck for the future! My Mom always said she'd prefer a punch than the emotional abuse.

[@markchiofolo1483]

20 year combat veteran. 2 divorces, suicidal, alcoholic, addict, fearful, scared, depressed, anxious...I relate to you bro. Thank you for sharing. A problem shared is a problem halved.

[@ayan6759]

Thank You for your Sacrifice and Service!

[@oscarmartinez2538]

Thank you for your service

[@clario2178]

Stay strong brother from UK

[@charlenethomas6443]

Thank you for your service. True bravery!

[@maryjohnson3182]

Its been a year, hope things are better for you.

[@pacopeso8474]

Mark this is one of your best interviews. I am a retired firefighter and suffered the depression, divorce, and I too put a gun in my mouth. I made it through the other side by the Grace of God. Thank you

[@brendenoleary1453]

Glad you're here brotha

[@garrettboone4306]

The world is better with you in it.

[@pacopeso8474]

@@brendenoleary1453 Me too for two years it was like my brain was in a fog. I met a Latina in Mexico and got married ten years ago. Life is good

[@meatrocket1]

Your right. The Best by Far! I hope I make it through, trying is a such a struggle!

[@anthonyelwick3600]

I'm a fireman and I've seen some bad shit that has put me in therapy. I have 10 years left and I'm just trying to make it to retirement

[@victoriar7855]

This almost felt like a TEDtalk. He's so well spoken.

[@meatrocket1]

Very well spoken & inspiring and helpful, for now.

[@evanduvall2359]

Yeah I'm just listening on autoplay and thought it was an Anthony Bourdain interview at first.

[@viktorhardindyrvold4234]

Like a 2070 paradigm shift

[@thesufferingpodcast]

@@viktorhardindyrvold4234 I’m not sure what that is.

[@viktorhardindyrvold4234]

@@thesufferingpodcast look it up on yt. It's quite the goof ;)

[@oldcop18]

I retired in ‘97 after 30 years, three shootings & the loss of seven friends/colleagues. While I never fell into booze, or anything else, I do recall being an angry person, often for no reason, likely directed at those closest to me. Somehow I got through it and am fortunate to enjoy a close relationship w/my wife of 54 years, kids & grandkids. My principal identity now is simply Grandpa. Guess I was lucky, but at 77 I cherish every day on this earth. Thanks for sharing and best of luck to you.

[@TheFunkybert]

Thank you for sharing the anger being taken out on those closest to us. In my elevated stress moments in life I began to become aware of my anger and projection on to those close to me. So much so that I removed myself from moments I felt the pressure building. I would go off on my own because I hated being the angry man. Something was wrong. Relationships eventually dissolved. You are truly blessed with a wife who stayed with you no matter what. Living each day with gratitude now. Your words found me tonight. 🙏

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Old Cop, You had it much worse than I, there was very little help for the guys who came before me and mental health had such a stigma to it. Much respect brother.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

@@TheFunkybert That gratitude is a beautiful thing

[@oldcop18]

@@thesufferingpodcast My department sent me to a shrink after I was forced to shoot a hostage taker in a motel lobby (third & final shooting). The guy was such a joke (no LE background or prospective whatever) I got up and left after one visit. I’ve been retired 25 years & enjoy our grandkids now.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

@@oldcop18 My hats off to you sir thank you so much for paving the way for us kids

[@mikenormandy9250]

All I can say is holy shit. I hope this dude goes around and talks to other police depts around the country and share his story. We need more like him. Incredible mark. Thank you

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank so very much for your words.

[@longshotdiedtired1582]

@Frank Sobotka believe it or not every cop isn’t bad there’s no one size fits all with people , how about taking someone on their word until they give you reason not to you’ll be a lot less miserable

[@ErnstDetailing]

@Frank Sobotka you have no idea either.

[@karatehit]

@Frank Sobotka there are assholes every where, you dont have to be biased. just because someone is a cop doesnt mean they automatically are a bad person.

[@cklaurence6414]

@Frank Sobotka were you someone he “thumped” on? You know nothing about this man.

[@porkchop3094]

I am a 25.5-year retired LAPD Detective that had an experience that affected me when I was a gang patrol officer. I too had nightmares and headaches every time I recalled the incident. Yes, talking about how it impacted me helped me get passed the anxiety I felt. Kudos to this officer for sharing his experience that undoubtedly will help anyone who is going though a rough time at this moment.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank you my friend. Stay safe

[@MomWentBackpacking]

My mom witnessed a woman commit suicide with a handgun in her and my dads church while the woman was facing her! My mom then sat by her side for almost 45 minutes waiting for EMT’s to arrive. The lady was still alive, but then died enroute to the hospital. She’s still affected by loud sounds. She never got therapy/help and it still affects her. Thank you for sharing Kevin’s experience with PTS.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

It’s a strange injury. No one ever sees it coming and the smallest things bring you back

[@dianemcmanus86]

This is one of the most meaningful interviews I've ever heard. The fact that you don't interrupt and let the person truly tell their story is a gift.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

The gift is having a platform like the Soft White Underbelly

[@pepper3528]

He's not on drugs, that's the difference.

[@turtledorn4464]

Sir I'm a County Detective for Atlantic County. Your story touched me because we have the same childhood. I'd really like to talk to you because I've had a rough go with it. 2019 was a year from hell and I almost lost my career. If you have time please respond

[@IndependentThoughts911]

@@turtledorn4464 People say suicides are cowards. That's a lie. It takes tremendous courage to off yourself. Clearly Kevin's PTSD began in childhood. "The job" incident the finishing touches. How many people has he put in jail who were suffering the same affliction? Not judging, that was his job. The job needs to change, but more likely people added who understand the suffering. Thanks for your part of the story Kevin. In your podcast please, please educate cops about mental illnesses. I' m not a pollyanic who thinks cops should " shoot them in the leg." I get body mass training, but CIT isn't doing the job and mentally ill people are needlessly dying.

[@kristirudolph7504]

I know right... just wow

[@JohannaW85]

When he said the doctor asked if he was ok and he said yeah, so she asked again "no, are you ok?" I knew he'd start crying. Sometimes that's the one question someone can ask you that just makes you break.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

I broke that day

[@thomasmitchell4128]

Been there before. It'll split you wide open.

[@antoniotula262]

First responders are almost always thinking of others at work or home. Quick to dismiss the possibility that they're maybe in trouble. I think the culture is changing though, more agencies are realizing (after a bunch of self deletions) that the "suck it up" mentality does more harm than good. The negative stigma of seeking help, therapy or EAP programs is fading fast. Whether from compassion or liability concerns, at least it's not treated like some unspoken shameful secret anymore & that's good.

[@terrytownsend5583]

You didn’t know he’d start crying

[@craftygirl9666]

Yes! And sometimes coming from a stranger, it feels even more meaningful/valuable that you feel 'seen'.

[@BMWQC]

You know it’s a great interview when Mark doesn’t have to ask any questions and can just let the person speak the whole time! Wonderful job guys!!!

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank you so much John

[@oscarmartinez2538]

This police officer has been saving lives all the time.

[@jimjustice581]

My wife and I were talking about ptsd, and I said in passing that police officers have ptsd too. And I stopped in my tracks and realized I had just identified what my problem was. Paranoia, there’s a bad guy just around every corner. Anxiety, loud noises can make me shake and break out in a sweat. And criminals make me angry enough to consider murder, even petty criminals. But, murder would, of course, make me one of them, and the worst of them. I retired early from law enforcement, and over twenty years ago. But, even at my age I realize it’s not to late to seek help. If, for no other reason than to share experiences, or help others with their issues. I was almost crying listening to you. Thank you for sharing your experiences and life with us, brother. I wish you the best that life has to offer. And thank you for your service.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank you Jim. What you have learned in your career may very well be the missing piece of somebody’s life

[@deho4198]

As a black man who has had dealings with some rascist cops and some rascist white people in general, this guy really touched me. I don't look at him as a cop or a white person but as a human being that is full of emotion and compassion, I have nothing but respect and compassion for him. If we all just looked at each other as human beings our country and this world would be a better place. God bless you sir.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Brother, Ive seen good in bad in everywhere. I see you and I raise you one regardless of what you look like. If your a kind good person, Ill be super kind to you, if your not then... you get picture. Much love-Kevin

[@rustysmith4477]

To DEHO 419: Yes indeed absolutely I agree with you totally. Your assessment is on point and spot on. Being a white person who grew up in Denver Colorado during the 60’s and 70’s in the midsts of a race war and that I attended a all black school I seen and experienced just how brutal some police persons were to black folks. I was the only white kid in my class and if it wasn’t for my black friends I would have been dead 💀 long ago. As a nation we have got to stop 🛑 this insane prejudice against all races and just act like human beings. Be blessed Amen.

[@mikedale1142]

Never encountered a racist person outside of cops and whites? Not one?

[@NKdidit.24]

If everyone acted like human beings, maybe it would be possible

[@mphase7575]

You sure they were being racist, or are you just an asshole?

[@Iloveliquid]

I loved this interview. For being a tough cop, he speaks so freely from the depths of his heart and uses easy terms to help us reflect on ourselves.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

This was an incredibly tough one to do, thank you so much for your kind words

[@RukYouLikeAHurricane]

I’m sad the interview is over so quick, I have ptsd and depression and deal with alcohol addiction. I’ve managed to stay mostly sober for 6 years and I completely agree that my purpose on earth is to help ease peoples suffering.

[@Progenitor1979]

'tough cop'? Yet to meet one, be all bully's ie. not tough... Without the badge what are they?

[@Progenitor1979]

@@RukYouLikeAHurricane I have PTSD from cops

[@wkcave]

@@Progenitor1979 they ain't s*** without that badge. That's the only thing that makes them tough. And you best believe in Jersey, every single one of them is a complete di ck head

[@emanuelmota7217]

This man is SO self-aware, especially considering all he's lived through - it's VERY impressive. He is a walking, talking testament to the benefits of therapy, and also of living for a higher goal (helping others). I'm not quite there yet, but he's making me think.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

I’ve worked so hard to just be better. You will get there but it’s not easy. 🙏🏻

[@cianbroderick4145]

The Suffering Podcast why is it so hard? Just to be happy or even content with your life

[@thesufferingpodcast]

@@cianbroderick4145 It’s a great question. I’ve been asked this many times. I have two great children, a pension, A good job etc. etc. for people who don’t realize what depression is like, it’s like walking in a stream against the current which keeps getting deeper and deeper. People on the sides of the banks are just telling you to get out but for some reason you can’t.

[@kickinghorse2405]

Thank you for sharing this interview. I'm told by my elders that storytelling is the oldest form of healing. Grateful for this man and the grace and courage that carry him.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

That means the world to me.

[@TheUsername55555100]

@@thesufferingpodcast Kevin, I suffer from chronic pain and your story made me cry. I can relate a lot to what you’ve been through.

[@ronstan3064]

This guy is a natural storyteller. I can listen to him all day long.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank you

[@ania8346]

Me too!

[@Sparooga]

only because he wants films/novels to make bank

[@aren1998]

Same

[@kimberlieweaver2624]

Reminds me of Joey Diaz…also from NJ…best story tellers!

[@Phatdadde21]

Being his age also from NJ with an abusive alcoholic father I can relate to everything this man just touched on . Wow I needed to hear him..Thanks Kevin

[@thesufferingpodcast]

I can't thank you enough

[@markjansma5448]

Great interview!!!! I was in Law Enforcement for 33 years. The part I loved about the job was the opportunity to help people. I believe it's very rare that a person that is in Law Enforcement for over 20 years not to have some form of ptsd. Brother thank you for helping other fellow officers so hopefully they don't have to take the same path you did. I will keep you in my prayers!!!!!

[@thesufferingpodcast]

I strongly believe that with proper training the officers working right now can release their post traumatic stress

[@shayonbell8469]

I've watched an insane amount of interviews on this channel, and this one I have to comment on. I have never had any desire to hear what a cop had to say, but I am so glad I watched this interview. The wisdom that was shared at the end was incredible, and so important for folks to hear. Thank you guys for this one!!!!

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Never judge anybody by a label. So grateful that you took your time to listen

[@dhl671]

Whooo you looking nice..

[@maxf4275]

Amazing how you don't want to be judged by the tone of your skin, yet you judge a whole group of people based on their profession and assume they have nothing interesting to say... I guess you just dislike the police like racists hate other skin colors; based on generalization and prejudice... Good thing you opened up your mind and remember: you only hear the bad stories about certain groups, never the positive experiences.

[@dhl671]

@@maxf4275 dislike of a profession is quite a bit different from dislike of a person’s race/color…. But I understand the point you’re attempting to make.

[@semiramismunoz8948]

Yes, it's helpful to hear his very familiar experience.

[@christinerobertson7087]

As a former wife to a former police officer who was injured on the job via a vehicle accident, I was absolutely moved to tears. Police, fire life and family carry an underlying stress. Your story is relatable to every spouse of those careers. Congratulations on finding your identity!

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank you

[@pepper3528]

What about the fact that they have tried to take over the country at the Capitol? Not all of them are good, in fact, they are worse. They won't get vaxx, conspiracy theories, anti-government, racist, and they shoot innocent. There is nothing normal about policing anymore. They're terrifying!

[@startingtech3900]

FORMER wife so you left him when he had the accident wow...

[@christinerobertson7087]

@@startingtech3900 You have zero right to make that assumption. I was married for over 20 years, was with him for 6 after his accident. My separation from my husband had NOTHING to do with that situation. But, you wouldn’t know that. You just make things up….

[@jackburton2148]

@@startingtech3900 You making that assumption lets me make the assumption that you're a jack ass.

[@jamescorcoran4809]

Having recently retired after 30 years on the job, I found Kevin's story about Mason inspiring. Perhaps, Mark, find Mason's mother and interview her. The irony here is visceral. Kevin saved her from a fate he would soon collide with, more than once. I took a life on July 3, 1994. I felt nothing. The therapist (protocol in California) told me that something would happen and trigger great sadness. The suspect (armed with a pistol) had been wearing a Walkman. Five months later, while driving home, I saw a kid wearing a walkman; I fell apart and cried. On my last day on the job, I went back to the scene (after 27 years) and said a prayer for the departed. Amen...

[@KimbradleyMasterGardener]

Thank You for sharing! I can't even imagine! Years ago, while living alone, a 17yr old (that looked 12) decided to knocked on my door at 1AM telling me my dog was out. The dog was in bed with me.... Long story short, he persisted long enough for me to brace myself, on one knee, with a cooked 40 waiting for him to break in so I could shoot him legally. I backed him off but I shook from the adreline, fear, and thought of almost killing someone, a dang kid, for the next week! Note to mention afraid to sleep!!! I hope to never EVER have to aim my weapon at a Human again!!! That happened in a Middle class neighborhood in Nashville. It does not discriminate!

[@julier1276]

🖤💙🖤 thank you for your service Sir. My BF is in law enforcement, 27 years now. I’m very outspoken about supporting police. Everyone thinks about the criminal and nobody ever thinks about how a shooting affects the policeman. Thank you for sharing 😊 God bless you Sir!

[@gailmgreenlee7039]

Thank you for deciding to have a job that u risked your life to protect people. My sister's husband is a Sheriff and polygrapher for them for many many years now soon to retire and I know there are some decent good guy law enforcement thankfully out there. I'm sure by far it's not an easy career. Sadly I've run into a few that just make them look bad by just being smart ass dicks when surely they didn't have to be.. I'm sure many people don't realize though just truly how stressful being in law enforcement on streets can truly be. Probably quite a few have thought they were fine like and one day all of a sudden something triggered their memory and boom hopefully they realized they have PSTD and need good help truly and get it.

[@doodooheadpleighboy4255]

I dropped a dude back when I was on the force as well. I’d dream about it till this day and every-time wake up with 🥜 all in my boxers and a rager.

[@jamescorcoran4809]

@@gailmgreenlee7039 You are right regarding the arrogance. No room for it. Karma. Be well Gail!

[@GoBeyondTheShadows]

Man, I’m so glad that kid found you and said thank you. I recently got the opportunity, as you may know, to interview the officer who handled my SA case and thank him for what he did. Also, when that doctor asked “are you okay?” I have an exact situation that happened to me when I was younger and getting out of the Army. I was pacing around my house cleaning and my brain was racing. My childhood trauma had recently sparked and took over and my wife just stopped me and asked if I was okay. Then I broke down. Fell apart and she held me until I was better. Man, the similarities are striking. I can’t wait to meet you guys and tell my story. Listening to this is so helpful in healing and understanding the feelings you have from PTS.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Looking forward to it Seth

[@K4man84]

Mark. I recently found your channel because of the JRE podcast. Currently going down a rabbit hole on your channel. Love the work you are doing.

[@contrdt3]

Same,hopefully he continues doing it,because he said he might stop

[@dustinhensley7995]

Same

[@five0h0ne51]

me too haha

[@bmae3055]

Me too. This is a Great Channel!!

[@rioplast]

Same

[@betsybabf748]

I don't think I have ever been more impressed by a subject of an interview. First, a young man growing up with gangsters who becomes a cop to help people. He had his identity all along...a good, compassion strong man of integrity. He explained severe PTSD so well. I live it and am being treated for it because I was the one who found the most important person in my life who didn't get that moment of clarity at that crucial moment Kevin did. I am so happy Kevin's wife and children don't have to live this. The way Kevin lives and thinks is so filled with strength, intelligence and most importantly, kindness, and he should be so very proud of his identity.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Very kind of you and humbling

[@lilbench5834]

My Cousin & Ex Girlfriend did the Same, Thier Parents Were in gangs, But thier parents also taught them its better to be a Cop in these streets than a Thug

[@thesufferingpodcast]

@@lilbench5834 much love and respect

[@RakdosRules95]

From the abuse,trauma,hopelessness,suicide attempts I feel it man. You deserve all of this help and you are worth it man.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank you so much.

[@yahyamaxwell3893]

I am also suffering from A.T.H.S

[@aragureghian724]

I am 74, I am in tears right now, no, I am not a cop, just an individual who has lost who he cherished the most in his Life, my only child, son "Lance" who at 26 has been taken away with Liver Cancer. I turned my back to a very successful profession and vanished living with my Dog in a tent. I am slowly emerging 20 years later. No, I did not get into drugs or drinking [luckily], just crawling through this dark tunnel which after watching here and also checking out "The Suffering Podcast" gives me hope. I want to "Thank You" @Soft White Underbelly and you @Kevin for sharing, doing what I now understand Humans "need" to do. It is never too late as I know the years have taken a toll on me. What a day... I am blown away and so filled with hope now while I am aware it is going to be baby steps one after another...

[@thesufferingpodcast]

My friend, think about all the things that you learned on your own. I’m so grateful that you were able to overcome such a tragedy. Nobody is supposed to outlive their children. The depths of your pain and suffering are unimaginable. Do you have a valuable story to tell of hope and redemption. Much respect and much love

[@aragureghian724]

@@thesufferingpodcast My Story is very long while Spirit and I left for the road in 2004. The Story is written in a Journal I have kept. Not only the "sightseeing" of this beautiful Country, but the mental ups and downs trying to survive and accept. There is nothing more important than acceptance. Those days were busy no doubt. Yet, my physical stamina diminished eventually, Spirit's time with me was coming to an end after 14 years and after my own few surgeries including two spine, motorcycling, camping off the grid was taken away. After all this time I finally learned that the cap on my own bottled Life had always remained loose. After Emergency admittances [3] due to panic attacks and days under Dr's orders into the "Medical Behavioral Medicine" I finally learned the ongoing treatment I had avoided is indeed a must. All those years are Documented up to two years ago. The Oasis of my Soul dot com. Writing is my Therapy sharing with others. There is a video done just a few years after our departure which explains much thanks to Go Pro. It is "Go Pro Ara and Spirit The Sidecar Dog". I would love to share some valuable stories which have been shared in the recent past. Goggling "The Oasis of my Soul" which is my Journal will bring up also more details. It is our duty to help each other, if you only knew how many have helped us on the road! It is astonishing. Please let me know if I can do anything to help. I am not, by the way, a commercial entity. Never wrote for anyone but myself and only then on to share. There is a book "Freedom on Both Ends of the leash" which also touches our Journey. Thank You and in turn much respect to you. Much.

[@heatherwild350]

Such a strong person to speak so openly about pain. We can all learn from a man who can verbalize trauma in such an honest way.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

It took a long time to say it out loud

[@kittendkat5100]

33:32 "We're not put on this Earth for personal gain, we're put on this Earth to help our fellow human being". The most moving, inspirational thing I've heard anyone say in YEARS. Thank you very much!

[@thesufferingpodcast]

The more you give, the more you receive, I dont know how or why it works but it just works.

[@SlangScientist]

@@thesufferingpodcast Funny how it's always society telling you to give your life for THEIR greater good. But when the giver needs help, where the F is society? Crickets. No one's life is more valuable than another. If everyone swept their own doorstep, the whole world would be clean.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

@@SlangScientist There are resources and people out there willing to help it’s just not in the places that it should be. Much respect

[@vinnybossman]

Very stoic. I love that.

[@SHax-wj4mi]

…. every living being…. I would add.

[@penguink7081]

As a child of a police officer, I commend you. You took yourself out of self destructive ways for your wife & children . I only wish mine would've . Led to a damaged childhood, pts /anxiety , I ended up a teen heroin addict into my early 20's . I was slowly killing myself, punishing myself for a situation I had no control over . Thank God for my grandparents . Now over 12 years clean , bought my first home , I'm breaking this cycle one day at a time . Hopefully my other siblings will do the same ..... Thank you for your story 🙏🏼💖

[@thesufferingpodcast]

It’s often the families that pay the biggest price. Much love

[@tigrlilyluv4u]

Congratulations on your 12 years!! That's not a small accomplishment by any means. I'm so happy for you and proud of you. (Coming from 24 yrs clean from meth. I get it.)

[@willfranko6090]

I was severely emotionally abused by my parents and grandfather. Hearing Kevin so eloquently explain the intensity of the damage he suffered from emotional abuse is profoundly validating. Thank you so much for your courage and honesty.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank you Will

[@Mthrntr]

No he said it was in the line of duty that really caused his issues. Bs

[@kingz2843]

@@Mthrntr doesnt mean that the abuse he endured during his childhood didnt play a role into shaping who he is now

[@adamchoate1550]

I nearly closed this interview after 10 or so minutes because this man is a cop. How foolish that would've been. As a young man with an enormous amount of trauma, this is poignant and beautifully articulated. Pay it forward. Thank you for sharing. My apologies for passing such quick judgement.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

We all at times judge too quickly. Much respect

[@branddrivenipad4772]

Amongst other qualities SWU certainly teaches us to stop making quick judgements!

[@thesufferingpodcast]

@@branddrivenipad4772 💯

[@chassiex3]

I almost did the same!

[@persevere6326]

Beautiful

[@BassForever44]

Really refreshing to see someone typically associated to a very traditional sense of masculinity (tough, not sharing feelings, authority figure, etc) share his worries and whatnot. It helps to generate empathy and realize that we all humans are far more similar than we think, therefore we should try to be less dickish to each other.

[@FlyboyUS]

It's really not being dickish it's we are all sinners it's the sin innos that cause this kind of reactions about the dickness, Hopefully he finds Jesus Christ the true healer He mentioned God a lot so I'm just hoping hes a believer in Jesus

[@sandravalani359]

I lovVe the term less dickish...awesome Commentary too!✌🙂

[@thesufferingpodcast]

@@FlyboyUS I have

[@dieguismama2330]

Amen. The definition of the strong males our society so desperately needs.

[@missmyoldhandle24]

TOTALLY!!!!

[@elisha-janepardoe5082]

As a mental health practitioner, i watch these stories, to make sure i can feel empathy for everyone. That i can listen to stories, much more then how somone presents at this moment in time. I really enjoy building my skills from this channel.. But....Hearing somone speaking so true to my life experiences, was interesting and emotional. I honestly have never felt proud for doing my line of work.. and this total stranger made me feel so proud.

[@antoniotula262]

Wow, thank you for caring that much. Makes a huge difference.

[@LoloO42]

Please recommend his podcast to any addicts you may treat. Especially the ones not finding success in 12 step programs.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

@@LoloO42 Many of my dear friends suffer with addiction. Many still are involved and summer on the other side. I’ve seen it tear lives apart and break them down

[@ferguson8143]

As i watch stuff like this to help me understand and be able to mimic there emotions or reactions

[@bigmurr725]

What a great and powerful interview , I am 68 and I have finally learned this lesson . It is all about helping others . God bless You Kevin and Mike .

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank you sir. Give and you will receive without asking

[@Karatebo17]

I'm a rookie. I'm a little over a year in to the job. I signed up because I saw these clowns on TV killing people, and roughing people up and thought: "I could do better than that." I've found that this job is much more complicated than I thought. I'm not a stranger to this type of work. I was an EMT for 7 years, but it's different now. Previously, the calls I would have to wait for cops to show up for are now the ones *I* have to show up for so that the medics can do their thing. I've only been at it for a year. And I work in a high volume, high severity, understaffed, rural area. A lot of what you said resonated with me because even though I'm getting through it, I am still getting so tired of responding to shitty, dangerous situations. It's just me out there, my back up is so far out. Back up only comes when dispatch knows if the call isn't going well, which adds even more time. I just feel so tired and scared. I've recognized my state of mind, and have a therapy session scheduled. I just want to say I appreciate your words and wisdom. I don't know if this line of work is for me, and I'm fine with that. I have nothing left to prove. This line of work, like you said, makes me appreciate what I have even more. I take very few things for granted anymore. And I am sure to tell my wife and kid how much I love and appreciate them every damn day.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

There’s a couple things to point out here. Number one you had the fortitude to try to make a difference, that is very important. Number two do you recognize how taxing on the sole police work is, That is very important. Number three you realize the need for a strong foundation amongst your family, that is important. In my mind there is nobody better suited for this job than you. Stay safe and stay the course. Much respect

[@clarkfredericks3309]

As a fellow New Jerseyian who suffers from PTS, was abused as a child, and has completely self-destructed as well, I get it Kevin. Your video was profound, meaningful and hopefully helpful for many other sufferers.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank you brother

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Please reach out to me Clark

[@clarkfredericks3309]

@@thesufferingpodcast Sent you a message on Instagram

[@thesufferingpodcast]

@@clarkfredericks3309 sent a message back

[@alisong799]

I thought I recognized your profile picture! I loved your interview, Clark.

[@pascal72ify]

He speaks with incredible clarity and articulation. Such inner power and strong message! Impressive.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

You are too kind

[@matt91go10]

I was just retired from the Navy after 11 years and am learning more and more about my PTSD daily. Good Lord i felt so close to this man in this moment. God Bless you, Kevin

[@thesufferingpodcast]

🙏🏻

[@OFCbigduke613]

I'm a retired cop who was shot and I can relate to most of this. I remember being told "You can remember without reliving."

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Much love much respect

[@OFCbigduke613]

@@thesufferingpodcast Be well brother.

[@mirandamuth7509]

He and Nick, the war veteran, could have an amazing conversation I’m sure. I’m glad he found help for his PTS. I lost a loved to PTS, so when I hear a success story, it warms my heart. You’re right. The world is NOT better without you. Im grateful you were able to realize that.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

None of us are as strong as all of us

[@justicefall1917]

This is like looking into a mirror! After 40 years behind the badge I feel like Kevin just told my life’s story. I’ve watched this numerous times and I finally feel hopeful for a better life to come. I’ve been to the point of checking out but I too always found a reason to stay. Mark, thank you so much for this video and thank you Kevin for sharing your life struggles with us! Kevin is such a great man and I am proud to stand the thin blue line with him!

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Much respect Brother. I'd throw that mirror away if you look like me, it may be broken lol

[@justicefall1917]

@@thesufferingpodcast Lol! You are a good man, and Lord knows this world could stand some good men right now! Thank you Brother!

[@lostagain2226]

Thank you for your candor, especially about the treatment to your family after you had to live through such an incident. I'm a 35 year old woman, I had two children by the time I was nineteen and my son, my first was the product of a rape. I was a victim of sexual trafficking and exploitation and homeless by fourteen, I'm incredibly grateful, and astounded that I'm alive today. However, I didn't know how trauma impacted my brain and body, significantly more since I have had several mild TBIs due to extensive physical abuse. I remember so many times losing my mind over seemingly trivial matters with my children and other loved ones. I tried to take my life back in 2012. I had been in an argument with my boyfriend, now husband, and I was struggling through addiction, mental health issues and still maintaining the appearance of having all of my shit together. I finally decided that if I was gone everyone would have it so much better. I took Clonazapan and a blood pressure medication and sat in my bathtub, my SO found me and called an ambulance. I had to have the stomach pumped, ICU for four days and psychiatric hold for another three. I remember seeing my son, held by my younger sister I'd raised so confused and terrified when I was loaded into the ambulance. At the time I was livid that SO had taken this away from me. I laid in that ICU. The ward was full and built like a round pod, nurses station in the center of the circle and surrounding her were the individual rooms. I looked at the patients who wanted to live and were dying, their family wanting so much for them to live and thinking about how unfair it was for me to take my own for granted. I've never felt the urge to take my life again. I felt like the world's biggest asshole. I think about the trauma I caused my own children during those times. I've been clean and sober since 2012, my children are beautiful and my life, while still difficult at times, is a blessing and I try to live and love the best way I know how. There's nothing wrong with asking for help. Even if you're a man! My husband was raised to think mental illness was something men don't have, they don't seek help, ask for assistance and it's terrible watching him try to navigate through the intense pain from the amount of sadistic abuse his father perpetrated. Sorry for rambling, but you struck a cord with me and I'm glad you shared.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

I am so grateful that you let that horrifying story out. I have never met one interesting person in my life that doesn’t have some junk in the past. What you were describing above sounds absolutely horrifying, but if you use those experiences you have the ability to be the strongest person in the world. I have the upmost respect for you and thank you for taking the time to let your personal story out. All the best-Kevin

[@JennerallyAnxious]

Don't be sorry for rambling (which was not at all rambling), your story and recovery is INCREDIBLE, you should be insanely proud. I've had similar experiences; it's really inspiring to hear other people's perseverance. Thank you!

[@thesufferingpodcast]

@@JennerallyAnxious I’m grateful for your kind words

[@zejaguar]

Great story. You are stronger than you realize. Thanks.

[@BadBlue32]

Fantastic interview, coming from someone who’s tried suicide multiple times due to PTSD, anxiety and depression. I too feel that after much therapy I have a duty to give back to people who are suffering like I was. I feel like that is my calling. I still have bad days once in a while, but that’s normal. We weren’t put on this earth to be perfect beings, something that took me a long time to figure out. This interview hit home! Thank you!

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank you brother, we are connected by the same purpose

[@lisasheridan5482]

This triggered me real bad. Random unstoppable tears just flowed. I thought I had dealt with my childhood stuff at 45.

[@ItsFreshItsAnne]

I'm finding it's a lifelong endeavor of peeling away layers of childhoods we are recovering from. May beautiful things come your way ♥️

[@diabolivirtusen-tavares-ea4645]

No lisa.... ur damaged... seek help 😚

[@lisasheridan5482]

@@diabolivirtusen-tavares-ea4645 Straight to the point. Your right.

[@lisasheridan5482]

@@ItsFreshItsAnne Certainly seems so. Knarly roots go deep. Wishing you the best 💖

[@thesufferingpodcast]

I'm very sorry that this story triggered you. That was not the intention. I didn't start feeling better till I let this stuff go if that helps at all

[@robw7820]

POWERFUL....................Mark didn't even have to ask 1question. Kevin's talk is not only powerful, but it resonates beyond any one person. It speaks to everyone in one form or another. Thank you Kevin. Thank you Mark.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Rob those are really kind words. I appreciate it more than you realize

[@papasplanes.956]

I'm speechless. What a fantastic interview. I have sent this to a 22 yr old who desperately needs to watch this, and listen. Truly listen and understand. He's dealing, or not dealing with childhood issues by running away. Exactly what Kevin wonderfully explains is not the answer. I truly hope this helps him.

[@pameladelaney5721]

A very perceptive person and talented speaker - Kevin. He has so much of value to give others, included us who heard him tonight. It's clear, God has blessed him.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank you. You are very kind.

[@putopoveda]

Being a man of law enforcement, I been through traumatic incidents and suffer from PTSD. I can relate to every thing he said. Wow! That was an amazing. Thank you for sharing

[@boxedtechnique9762]

@Jamal Crocker 🤣😂

[@johndlc1983]

Fk pigs, you sl0bb

[@xoxo3427]

I have to say out of all the interviews I’ve ever watched from you, this one touched me the most. Thank you for your work on this channel and KEVIN: Thank you for sharing your story!

[@trip2belize]

By far.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Your comments bring me to tears, thank you

[@cowboysfan782008]

Kevin your story hit home. I'm 54 and grew up in that same "Bad News Bears" era in the 70s when the popular way to parent was tough love, and when you got out of line at the park playing football with no pads, you might take a beating from an older kid, and that was acceptable. My parents split when I was 11 almost 12, and I had to be the man, with a weak mom, and a younger sister, and my businessman dad who I saw all of 2 days every other week was always hard on me mentally always kicking me down (so I didn't get a big head), which is almost comical. He was actually great when the chips were down, but would always be more than ready to shut you down if you showed too much joy or confidence. I think it's maybe just the traits they were taught by their depression era parents, and I get that, though I didn't like it at the time. Life is weird and now raising kid's has done a 180, and it's too much the other way IMO.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Lol, there has to be some sort of happy medium right?

[@shinenwga7784]

Mark.... This one needs to go viral please.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

It has reached more than I ever expected

[@jadedmonk7001]

@1:30 "..,the emotional abuse he put me through..." Some scars never heal and the things we're told by our parents make a lasting impression and can effect us for a lifetime. Even when we know better. Facts.

[@Gram72534]

GM, JM! Keep your head up my friend! Have a great day, weekend and 4th!

[@thatgurljazzy8677]

🗣️👏

[@jadedmonk7001]

@@Gram72534 Back at ya Gram. Have a safe 4th. I'm looking forward to tater salad and slaw. Two of my year-round favorites. Go figure😆

[@jadedmonk7001]

@@thatgurljazzy8677 ❤

[@ItsFreshItsAnne]

I love who you find, Mark. You already have a beautiful talent in photography. But, each video tells me you have an eye for seeing people....Seeing the ones that truly need this experience, deserve this experience etc I'm thankful you've got a platform to give it to them! Thank you for yet another winner ♥️

[@diabolivirtusen-tavares-ea4645]

Sorry mark is taken by asriah aka exotic 😏

[@sincitybaseballmama3434]

As a woman who spent many years in & out of Afghanistan & Baghdad, the sister of two fallen Officers, the daughter of a fallen Officer & the stepdaughter of a lifelong Homicide Detective (38yrs & counting), I needed you to know I’m SO grateful you’re here🙏 But that’s not your reason for doing this interview. You didn’t do this for accolades or atta-boy’s, I hear it in your voice… & I know that because I hear the same tone from my stepfather… In the 20yrs I’ve been part of his life, I’ve watched him change, in every way. And he’s been in the “numb” phase for at least 10 of those years. He smiles, but what he’s been through, what he’s seen, the partners he’s lost, civilians he couldn’t save, even the ones he could, & everything in between, still comes through in his eyes. He’s one of the most humble, compassionate & kind human beings I’ve ever had the honor of knowing… but that heavy weight he carries, never leaves him. I see a lot of pain & at 35, when I chose to take his same career path, I saw pride in his eyes, mixed with an immense amount of fear. But he’s never said a word about it. And that comes from one of his biggest regrets in his life. That regret involves me. My father was his partner 30yrs ago when my father lost his life. The guilt has eaten at him for years & it has caused him to push me away. My mother walked away from me when my father was k*lled, she lost who she was when she lost him. And I ended up being HER regret; & am treated as such. Daily. Even after the years of physical, mental & emotional abuse, I still tried to love her. She got clean 22yrs ago, but doesn’t want the reminder. & I’m not someone who wants to be where I’m not wanted. Eventually my grandparents had to step in & I thank God everyday they took me in with zero hesitation & raised me with the unconditional love I’d never had from my mother. I married a man like my stepfather, & am now a single mother of five. I’ve got 3 boys who play baseball & 2 beautiful, smart & talented girls. I’ve been to therapy on & off since I was 25, trying to get as much help as I could so my kids weren’t products of an angry, sad, resentful & damaged mother. It feels like I take 10 steps forward & 15 back. I don’t feel adequate, I feel I fail them at every turn, all the time. When I lost my brothers, I’d lost the only men in my life that made sure me & my kids felt safe. So now, it’s just me. I take care of my grandparents the best I can, I’m trying to raise my boys to be good & honorable men & raise my girls not to accept anything less. Your story softened my heart. Something I wasn’t sure was possible anymore. Prayers🙏 💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙

[@pyxnoid3117]

I recently found your podcast. I found several shows dealing with PTSD. I am trying to find them all because they help me understand my PTSD. Your work is therapy for me not entertainment. Thank you.

[@danielstark8921]

Ptsd in public service is real. I have a friend who worked emt for 20 years the trauma is unreal. We need to respect and be kind to these servants.

[@broflo3875]

As a cop for 16 years now in major metropolitan city, this man's story hits too close to home on many levels. Thanks for sharing with the world. Cheers.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Stay safe my friend

[@lnguyen119]

This is my favorite interview this far, and I've seen nearly every one... This is authentic, raw, and I can relate to this so much! 💕😭✌️

[@thesufferingpodcast]

With Mark’s body of work, that is a enormous compliment

[@Spyroh]

Soft White Underbelly is like a history book. As time goes on as long as this channel remains people will study and analyze the people of our time and the things we all went through.

[@brittanyp9334]

We need more stories like this. We need to see that not ALL cops are bad. It's a HARD job. I know I wouldn't want to do it. This guy really tells his story with such emotion I can almost feel how he felt. We need more compassion! Our society has been split and we need to come back together. With people like Kevin telling their stories, maybe just maybe, we can start to come back together.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

We can’t judge each other by our lowest common denominator. There are bad individuals in every profession on planet earth, that doesn’t mean that everybody in that profession is bad

[@cc7521]

"that not ALL cops are bad" - sweetheart, it's not "we" who needs this, it's you. "we" already know that most cops are good. you have been deceived by the woke losers.

[@pepper3528]

There is zero chance. Too many brainwashed by Trumper lies.

[@cobracommander9138]

All cops are corrupt it's just the level of corruption. This guy might be dealing with other demons of lives of innocent people he ruined. Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. When you have the power to ruin a person's life and are almost positive that you won't be held accountable for your actions it corrupts people.

[@cc7521]

@@cobracommander9138 wow, the level of idiocy in this comment is baffling. Do you think a cop stands something to gain by ruining a person's life? I could also ruin someone's life in a multitude of criminal ways, but why? There has to be motive. Granted there are some sickos who just like to hurt people, but most cops are regular people just doing their job and with no ill-will. If you say that all cops are corrupt, then it's the same as saying all people are corrupt (depending on the level of corruption), which may be true, but cops are no different from accountants, sales clerks, etc. in this respect.

[@barbiebledsoe1504]

I've been in this mindset and it's horrifying. I am no longer in that headspace and I look back with such grief and embarrassment but also a sense of being grateful. I made it through a dark time and only by the gace of my God, and for that I am grateful. 🥰

[@traekiful]

Sending you love and healing ❤️‍🩹

[@user-rc4rx6zs4s]

Glad u made it buddy...

[@thesufferingpodcast]

We can do this if we stick together

[@rubi-redjeep6765]

Thanks for telling your story. As a city cop for the last 10 years (so far), I had a similar situation in my 4th year on the job. All within one year, I had a 10 year old girl die on me from an asthma attack, Before she passed out and stopped breathing she looked over at me, I was the last person she ever saw. I saw a woman who was just hacked up into pieces by her neighbor... horrific sight. My patrol car was shot at during a group fight, and someone who I knew committed suicide (a Sergeant) . Just like you, out of nowhere I ended up getting panic attacks randomly, and I developed social anxiety, I didn't want to go anywhere or be around anyone. I verbally lashed out at my wife from time-to-time, because I was upset that she didn't understand, which was no fault of hers whatsoever. A lot people don't realize the effects of PTS, especially those who have never been on the job. I'm glad to be over that rough patch and I'm glad you made it through!

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Always know there are others who understand what your going through.

[@terrystone2649]

I am retired policeman also. Thank you sir for your service and your testimony. God bless you. Thanks for sharing

[@thesufferingpodcast]

🙏🏻

[@A_A_Review]

This was the video of yours that finally broke me. Made me realize I related to this more than I'd like to admit. Different situations entirely but life happens. Very fortunate to be watching this. Glad you're doing better Kevin and still with us.

[@matthewschultz3601]

Wow, after being a cop for 20 years I can say I have gone through all of the ups and downs that Kevin has gone through. I came out of 20 years with post traumatic stress and it has taken me a year to almost find my primary identity. Great talk, great words. Everything this guy has gone through is fact, I have gone through a lot of it myself. I am touched to hear him speak. Thank you Kevin, you helped me heal.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

It’s our obligation to help the younger guys and girls so that when they retire they don’t experience the same thing. Much respect brother

[@loriflatland3142]

This interview needs to pop up in the first of what's available. He is talking to a wide range of people. Mental health category, ok but a survivor category would be good also. What an amazing story and journey. I'll be looking into this man's podcast.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank you Lori. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words.

[@skyking228]

Wish our politicians were more focused on helping their fellow human beings. Always interesting, thanks!

[@waynemizer4912]

Don't you think Biden and Co. is doing enough for us?

[@stephaniem2945]

Wow! His unfiltered truth left me just in shock. Thank God you didn't leave this earth. People in pain need more men like you, who are willing to say "look I hurt too, but it will be ok.. not today maybe not tomorrow but eventually..." Thank you officer for staying alive.

[@creepy847]

Great interview. Unfortunately I grew up in the same type of household. A living hell for my brother and I. Thanks for interviewing this guy.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank for taking your time to hear me

[@maryjohnson3182]

Oh my goodness what a story. Can we imagine the hundreds of army vets going through this and feeling so alone. Thanks for your story.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank you my friend. It warms my heart to hear your kind words

[@tracykilcollins9978]

I am wife of a retired SWAT cop. My husband spent 20 years of his 31 year career on SWAT. Hubby has been retired for 4 years now. We have been married for 30 1/2 yrs. Policing is NOT an easy job! The average person has no idea what they go through on a shift. The call outs, the overtime, night shifts etc. As a wife, will hubby make it home after this shift etc? I thank God 🙏🏻 everyday that hubby made it through to retirement. Thanks for sharing your story Kevin. There were many parts I could identify with. God bless you!

[@antoniotula262]

The spouses are seldom given the recognition deserved. Damn near as traumatic as the profession itself!

[@tracykilcollins9978]

@@antoniotula262 Thanks! It's sure not a 9-5 job. Expecting our spouses to walk through the door at 5:30, it doesn't exist. It's a juggling act. We have 2 daughters. There were school activities, extra-curricular activities. Our daughters were both involved in sports as well. Then they both went to university as opposite ends of the country. Only for the grace of God that hubby came home safe after every shift. Exhausted, tired and traumatized from events. 🙏🏻

[@connorbasile]

This is one of those rare interviews where I watched fully from beginning to end. Thanks for sharing your story, Kevin!

[@georgecollord7650]

30 years in law enforcement and the memories that float in and out…but I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I’m really sorry Kevin had to struggle so much. It’s the nature of the beast. I wish our politicians and media would understand that police officers mostly try to do their best. One of the toughest things to see today is the lack of support for my brothers and sisters doing the job and living this man’s life in various forms every day.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

I would do it again also without hesitation

[@ScottyLo]

I’ve watched a bunch of your videos and this was one of the best yet. This retired officer went through a lot and came through it with a sense of purpose. So many people don’t make it through tough times and it’s great to see that he helps people so they too can make it through the tough times. Thank for sharing this video.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

🙏🏻

[@useruseruseruseruser790]

What an amazing interview. Searing honesty, with great intelligence and insight into the human condition. Seems a very decent person who will do a lot of good in the world (unlike a lot of the other interview subjects).I am very glad that he is now happy, he deserves it.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

That means a lot to me

[@timivers5372]

This is what military vets, inner city people, and ex convicts go through.

[@terywetherlow7970]

Tim: and domestic and sexual abuse folks.

[@xoutofdatex]

"I just gave a hug to that suffering". Boy these words stroke me hard.

[@allisonrodriguez1624]

Kevin, your experiences had me on the edge of my seat. Thank you for sharing such intimate details of your struggles with PTS. I am a huge fan of your podcast and am certain the incredible work you are doing now as you allow others to share their struggles on The Suffering Podcast is paving the way to your complete recovery. All the best to you.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

My respect goes out to you my friend

[@golddustwoman104]

Wow! This really hit home for me, I've been in "the valley" for way too long, this gentleman gave me the hope I needed just for today🙏

[@thesufferingpodcast]

I hope it carries you through until tomorrow for hope for the future. Much love - Kevin

[@jakegolding1263]

You got this!! I promise you this world needs you! Your meant to be here. I hope you find your happiness

[@thesufferingpodcast]

@@jakegolding1263 I do believe I am not done yet

[@UnCannyValley67]

I freakin’ LOVE this guy. He is REAL! I grew up in the 90s in NYC, and he reminds me of my more responsible friends. The ones that wanted to help others.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank you, but as a kid I was anything but responsible lol

[@HiGlowie]

Thank you for spreading post traumatic stress awareness.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

❤❤

[@kathleendestefano5577]

This interview was so touching, Kevin your an amazing man…Thank you…

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank you Kathleen but I’m nothing special I just live without the fear of judgment anymore

[@andriebester]

What a totally GRIPPING story! I loved it when Kevin got to the realisation that the world was not going to be a better place without him. Awesome story and and a truly inspiring about-turn.

[@joshuaburgess4730]

Wow. Thank you for sharing you story Kevin.. my childhood sucked to. I agree that verbal abuse is the worst. My "father"use to tell me all the time he hates me and wishes I was never born. I'm now 41 and 4 years without a drop of booze. My life is alot better since I stopped drinking. I wish you the best buddy

[@thematriarchy2075]

I am proud of you! ❤

[@caitlinsimonsmeier2013]

Congrats! You’re so deserving

[@almamorrissey8594]

Proud of you!

[@thesufferingpodcast]

@Shady Baby thank you shady

[@kelliedavis8081]

Damn dude this hits so hard for me. Thank you for sharing

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank you

[@daxc1972]

Wow this drummed up some memories and feelings I thought I dealt with accordingly....

[@thesufferingpodcast]

@@daxc1972 I’m sorry I did that to you.

[@daxc1972]

@@thesufferingpodcast Was not you, it was the 25+ years chasing that police pension. Thank God I was able to get out alive.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

@@daxc1972 bless you brother

[@discerningmind]

Thank you very much for sharing your story. It's an excellent testimony for people to keep going because you confirm that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. It's also a confirmation of what a real man is. May God bless you for working through what must have been a very difficult story telling. Please know that only good can come from your effort. As a result, I made sure to donate to SWU.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank you

[@robinmillette3127]

I am a Survivor of childhood abuse mentally, sexually and physically I suffer from severe PTS. I have tried to take my life every way that this man has just described in his story and he is correct that there are people out there who do you know what it’s like, so you don’t have to walk this path alone. Thank you Mark once again for a wonderful interview.

[@leneo1731]

I knew within the first two minutes that this interview was going to be one that really made an impact on me The respect I got for this man is almost impossible to express. The fact that a person like him who comes from an environment so masculine, rough and closed as the Police Department, is so impressive. And it's extremely important. Still men are supposed to be tuff. Men aren't supposed to be emotional. The emotions they have are by all means ment to be very controlled. And especially men in typical male dominated professions are expected to hold everything inside. Like he said when he was at the movies, he didn't want to bother his wife because she'd been trough enough. We need to stop this now. Men, and women, especially in professions which are this hard mentally, should be almost forced to go in therapy. Some couples go to couples therapy before they get problems. They see it as an investment in their relationship and their future. Maybe we all should start to think like that. Because our mental health is one of the most important things we have. Many people work out for different reasons, hopefully because they care about their health. But very few people take care of their mental health like they do with their general health. People take better care of their teeth than they do their mental health! That's pretty insane! I want to start a movement where the focus is preventing people from being as ill as he was. Or as ill as many of us are. We need to make sure that the children growing up now have the opportunities to show their emotions and talk to professionals whenever they need to talk.

[@terywetherlow7970]

Lene O: i think that is a great idea.

[@DrewJmsn]

This video came up in my shuffled Watch Later list as I sat down to have my breakfast this morning. Busy day ahead, feeling a little overwhelmed, I needed something uplifting and inspiring. A few minutes in, I knew I wanted to hear this story but maybe not right then, it was a little dark. But I kept listening anyway and glad I did. Thank you Mr Donaldson for sharing. We need more examples of how to turn trauma and adversity into empowerment and a force for good. I'll get into my day with optimism and enthusiasm now, and I shall contemplate the notion of "hug your suffering" for a while. I hope life is good to you. The world is definitely better off with you in it.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Wow. I’m so honored you stayed to listen. I would’ve missed so much had I left. Thank you my friend

[@DrewJmsn]

@@thesufferingpodcastI'm honored you read and replied to my comment! If I hadn't finished it then I absolutely would have later. In the AM I'm usually looking for Jocko or somebody to light a fire under my @$$, and SWU is one of my fave nighttime listens. I was moved to comment by the twist in your story, started out dark and turned out amazing and inspirational. I found and subbed to your YT channel after my comment, looking forward to digging into it.

[@johnalexander9084]

Wow, such an amazing interview! Thank God for you still being here. The transparency is so raw and purposeful. You are going to help others going through similar emotions

[@phantommenace5407]

While not a cop, I can relate to some of the things Kevin said. It took quite awhile for me also to drop the "I'm a man and shouldn't need any help or talk to anyone about my feelings attitude." But when I did, my entire life changed for the better. Sure, there were some setbacks, but I'm nothing like the man I used to be. For anyone that's suffering inside, talking to a professional helps a lot! Even if you don't think they could understand what you been through, just do it. Just getting it off your chest and speaking it out loud to another human work wonders. Mark, this video left me inspired. Great upload!

[@venh3134]

Kevin, you are an inspiration. It doesn’t even feel like “inspiration” captures the magnitude well enough. You’ve found a way to turn so much trauma and pain into good, and you’ve made it your purpose to spread that good into the world. Thank you for your service, in all of the many ways that you have served. You are making the world a better place. I’d like to donate to you - how can I do that?

[@chortleboy]

My stepdad was a Philly fireman in North Philly which was like a warzone in the 80’s….he was definitely stressed from that job…he was a good dad he would cook and clean and keep order in the house but emotionally there was something missing…he was kind of a recluse and very quiet…he barely said I love you to us….my mom divorced him when I graduated high school and moved out to Colorado…I Have no bad feelings for him he did the best he could for us…he held a good job for my family…life shar sand no one’s perfect..he was a product of his surroundings…Philly is rough town and you have to be tough to survive…feelings are a bonus…years later he was living in an apt alone and he ended up with cancer and died and when they looked through his wallet they found a photo of me and my sister which really hit home for me…he always loved is just couldn’t say it or show it

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Those jobs take a piece of your soul. It’s very nice to hear that you made peace with him as, like you said, he did the best he could

[@natcoop999]

This is an amazing interview. I'm so happy to have seen it.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

I’m so happy you took your time to watch. Thank you my friend.

[@misstruboyzrc]

A lot of people who have never experienced post traumatic stress, anxiety or depression have a hard time understanding how it can take one experience to forever change a persons life! I hope some of those people allow themselves to gain that understanding from this brilliant interview. Thank you sir…

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Thank you for showing love.

[@basedkiarash8834]

This was heavy. Good on you for not just reaching but seeing, even, the light at the end of the tunnel.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

There is always light Even in the darkest places

[@Nbahighlights215]

Lb

[@alexdavis7872]

Thanks for sharing your story. Family is everything. Keep plugging away each hour. Your a good man and your gonna come out on top. The world isn’t better off without you and it’s a better place with you.

[@paulking3070]

I suffer with PTSD.. although from different circumstances.. Kevin! You're an amazing human and your testimonial though sad, was a great comfort.. So thank you. The world is for sure a better place with sound people like yourself in it... 👏👏

[@thesufferingpodcast]

❤️

[@Mint318]

Kevin…. Thank you. I’ve been dealing with things like this for about 15 years. I’m currently 25 just turned 25 last month. I’ve wanted to give up so many times. Hell I’m a teacher and go in front of kids everyday and I can honestly say man God has helped me so much through my journey. Thought about offing myself plenty of times and got close to it about 2 and a half years ago around this time of the year. Next month I’ll be asking my girlfriend to be my wife. A lot of my trauma has come from positions I’ve been put in along with my own choices and just life in general. I’ve chosen to keep pushing forward and hopefully one day I’ll have stories to tell my kiddos. Your story lets me know I’m not alone, I’m not in this one deep. I smile a lot more and I think life is all about growing. Thanks again man God bless.

[@thesufferingpodcast]

Giving up rarely solves anything and leaves others around us with the pain of loss. I’m glad you stayed. Congratulations on your upcoming proposal

[@switzerlandful]

Find colorful/explosive happiness (I took care of a husky once by request of a woman) and it took all of my stress away.

[@Pogo1977]

This interview gave me goosebumps. He is so raw and real. I hope this man has peace of mind and spirit for the rest of his journey. Amazing interview.