SOOOO - illloved / Kagamine Len 【Official】

[@SOOOO]

"illloved" English Lyrics I was born to acquire suffering Actually, I've known that since long ago So perhaps that's why the teachers told me too That my smile exists to make everyone happy I, who grew up cute, am just a toy Becoming an outlet for violent impulses One day, with THAT enough to numb the nerves They f***ed me thoroughly, drenched in medication The world in my eyes trembles Sharp distortions pulse with a twitch, a thump In the haze, to the delighted necks I weakly smile back one more time I'm sorry I was born Kindness is given with suffering as a condition That's why I named the fear of death ‘love’ You all eagerly throw it at me That’s why I also gladly endangered my life It's okay Even tomorrow, I will keep getting hurt with a smile Their intentions force me to enter into a kind of friendship Their affections force me to vomit up the pain of loss No one wants to touch something like the love I fearfully show everyone I'm dirty With those gentle eyes, The person who praised me, What exactly do they want from me? What will they take from me next? My naked body covered in vomit left at the garbage dump due to the bill for my mistakes Memories tightly grip my numb limbs Just one more step towards that dazzling sky Not even allowed to soar Because I'm a good boy Because I'm a good boy Because I'm a good boy Because I'm a gOoD bOy How could they love me like this? From the miniature garden of survival The alarm bells were ringing "There's no such thing as definite proof in this world," they said When I die someday, flowers will be laid upon me and I'll probably be mocked That's why the fear of death called itself ‘love’ for me If by my screaming, struggling, flailing, and eventually perishing, Everyone can be happy, then that's enough for me Please forgive me For having such clumsy thoughts I wish my smile would just crumble away Please, let everyone escape from this ugliness Since even the things that were truly precious to me Have all been burnt to death by you, I didn't want to be thought of as a kind person I didn't want to be called a kind person I didn't want to become a kind person I didn't want to become a kind person… I didn't want to become A KIND PERSON… There's no way I can love myself Because I loved my “ “ Hey, teacher, my, life, is, cheap, too Hey, teacher, I, can, smile, skillfully I'm sorry I was born

[@beeseschurgers]

Epic

[@akuou88]

Epic

[@ocean_divinity]

Epic

[@nufisu]

Epic

[@narusleepycat]

Epic

[@bloodmoonlps]

SOOOOs music really has a way of cradling the traumatized soul. The way the music screams, it's relief. Hearing the screams outside of your head, outside of your chocked up chest, it's a comfort. Shared sorrow, it still hurts but with understanding. And if anything, don't the screams just want to be understood? ... Thank you, SOOOO.

[@optm727]

WE ARE SO BACK

[@jordanjoyce1128]

You mean SOOOO back?

[@liltweaker47]

REAL

[@zrudu]

SOOOO BACK

[@HiHello-qw6li]

WE ARE SOOOO BACK

[@thecreatureunderthelamppost]

WE ARE SOOOO BACK

[@rainstormredstorm]

4:50 “theres no way i can love myself because i loved my…” this is a line that hurts me on a very personal level. it’s fairly common for abused people, usually those stuck in a repetitively abusive situations to still love their abusers and find a messed up sense of comfort and familiarity with their abuse, it’s the brains way of coping. it’s something that personally causes me so much shame and pain. but hearing it here, hearing it be actually expressed through music makes me feel an intense mix of happiness and sadness. SOOOOs music is art, thank you for making something so horrifically and disturbingly real, csa is a disgusting crime, and in my opinion this song is the closest description as to how it feels and alters the way your brain works, feels and processes. this feels like it came from a very personal place and shit my heart goes out to you, the 3 years wait was worth every second. you make art, SOOOO

[@missusmonsterr]

As someone who also went through abuse, I feel you. This is like someone understood our pain and put words to it. Cathartic in a sense to see the things we hold locked away in shame, brought into light by another that understands. Please, be safe. Keep yourself happy. You are precious and you deserve the best.

[@Hachiandmisakin]

Tbh I relate to this. I was groomed online yknow he made me send pics and see the pics he sent and yeah. Also told me I look pretty when I cut so haha uh. It feels like SOOOO understands what he’s writing I like that

[@aierie-dragonslayer]

You'd think that being such a fan of SOOOO's unique style, it'd occur to me not to watch his video in a dark room. You would think incorrectly.

[@_catzee]

SOOOO MVs are best in a dark room ^w^

[@Knocker2397]

А я сижу в темноте)

[@_catzee]

@@Knocker2397 I was too (well, dim light I guess) ^w^

[@hanielarindel1408]

Man, this is my first time seeing a SOOOO's MV and it's in the night with everything dark. It's a feeling I'm unable to describe. Such morbid style, this would be good if I get to read some manga like Mahou Shoujo site or Mahou Shoujo of the end

[@cheesus2466]

After I noticed the video drop I took a couple shots and purposely turned the lights off just so it'd hit so much harder and I don't regret a thing and this masterpiece has to be one of newest favorite songs of not my main favorite

[@exairia5268]

I think after all these years I've finally figured out what makes your music so enthralling. While other artists might present interesting fictional stories or relatable themes, your ability to imbue your emotions and thoughts into music is unrivalled; from the depravity of Rasou to the tragedy of Sakura Shizuku, Haru Moyu and Akuou I constantly find myself drawn in and living the feelings you've expressed despite never experiencing them myself. They're all such fantastic pieces of art, but this is another level above those. This is the greatest song you've ever made, I can see why it took 3 years to make. The complexity and layers of the whole thing, from the instruments to the vocals and video production (seriously, Kawazu Inoue did such an amazing job with the illustration), it create such a unique experience I've never had before with music (like genuinely getting a bit jumpscared at 5:02 on my first listen). It's such a pure expression of what all your songs are trying to communicate and show, Sakura Shizuku, Haru Moyu was already one of the best songs I'd ever listened to and I thought it could never be topped, but I was wrong.

[@Kuwushii_]

If I understood clearly the lyrics, the song is sang by a young boy who got told by his teachers that his smile could make everyone around him happy, and it took what they said at heart. He grew up as a cute boy, because of his apparence, he was getting bullied, r*ped by his teachers at school etc... They abused him roughly and did this to him weekly, and even if he got hurt by them, he would still smile for them, to make them happy. He felt horrible after experiencing all of this, he would prefered to not be born at all, he say that multiple times in the lyrics, meaning that he think that he is at fault. He felt dirty. and at the end he said "There's no way I can love myself, because I loved my "_____“ " , he probably fell in love with his teachers, the persons that violated him.. shit, thats deep asf. Thanks SOOOO for this masterpiece yet again

[@yharon8243]

Fact (not fun fact): SOOO has said that their songs are autobiographical in nature.

[@Kuwushii_]

@@yharon8243 WAIT REALLY ?? oh my god, thats horrible..

[@Leblenlens]

Exactly the same thought I had when re reading the lyrics

[@Pukeprincess]

⁠​⁠@@yharon8243even happy? Holy shit

[@lucat8177]

I love your interpretation and see a lot of points you're making, and it makes a lot of sense for me, however I don't really see where you got the idea of r*pe from. In my interpretation the story is of a boy who a series of mental conditions and doesn't want to be alive anymore, however people around him (for example I don't see the teacher as in a teacher in a school, but a teacher of life, for example friends and family) tell him that his smile can make people happy and they love him, so they guilt trip him into beeing alive, cause if he would end himself they would be sad. They try to ''fix'' him with medication (aka drugging someone until they are accaptable for humanities needs), but it ended if f-ing him even more, as these ''meds'' can beckfire hard (I mean just read the side effects of anti-depressents and other common ''medications''). I could now sit here and type forever interprating every single line of the song so that it fits my interpretation, but I'm just gonna give you a short example here: 1:38 ''That's why I named the fear of death 'love' '' a line which is later followed up by 3:45 ''That's why the fear of death called itself 'love' for me'' , I interprate these two lines as someone who is guilt tripped into not ending themself by poeple who are afraid of his death using love. As the song progresses and our protagonist is deeper in what society would call ''madness'' it is clear to him that he didn't even give that meaning to love himself, but that was done by everyone around him, hences why he said ''called itself [...] for me'' and not ''I named'' anymore. However there are still a few lines in the song that still don't fit that explanation perfectly. I don't wanna say that you're wrong, I just wanted to hear your take on my interpretation, like I said, I see a lot of points you're making.

[@piko_utatane]

As someone with depression who also suffered from CSA I painfully relate to this song. Thank you for putting these emotions into words. Death being referred to as love is something I think only those who’ve gone through such trauma can understand.

[@usoppfangirl8153]

Len's pained, despair riddled voice is haunting paired with the instrumentals and Kawazu Inoue's illustrations. It creates an incredibly powerful sound thats unforgettable.

[@cinnatoast3452]

This is the “music is meant to disturb the comforted and comfort the disturbed” final boss like actually

[@harukasakurai.]

I think that SOOOO's music is the literal and perfect description of "art is supposed to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comforted". I love it.

[@Izasuki]

Took the words right out of my mouth

[@Pr1ya-Night]

Well, if that's what you think... it is what it is

[@evilthoughts8763]

I love that phrase so much. Although I always prefer to write it as "Art can comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable". Because art can take many forms and represent different feelings, not only negative ones. I don't know if this song is exactly about some type of abuse, but if it is, then it's presented perfectly. I personally wouldn't listen to this song again, and the video got a little annoying for my tired eyes, but I love it when music shows people how it really feels to go through those horrible experiences. That's why I find songs that are considered "gross" or "creepy" the most cathartic. They represent the true nightmare some of us have unfortunately gone through.

[@harukasakurai.]

@@evilthoughts8763 I absolutely agree. and honestly, I think that SOOOO is one of the best artists that represent different kinds of abuse. the way you can't almost understand the instrumental, the screaming, the video being all flashy and stuff, the confusion that all of it together creates. it feels real. and the words used are probably the cherry on top. and the wait too. to make such songs probably takes so much time, and when you least expect it... you see a notification from SOOOO and are ready to get emotionally destroyed I like searching for dark songs too, I kinda like them more than the upbeat ones because they make me feel different feelings. to worry, to disgust, to sadness, it's a whole different thing. (same thing goes for upbeat dark songs) (sorry for bad english I just woke up)

[@evilthoughts8763]

@@harukasakurai. Exactly! I've been shamed for listening to dark and unusual songs before, to the point of never sharing my tastes with others, so it makes me happy whenever I see someone who can actually appreciate this kind of music. This song may sound like "nonsense" to some people, that it's just a bunch of overlapping loud sounds, only for the sake of being chaotic. But there's a lot of thought and talent behind it, just like you had described, and it's something very difficult to achieve. Your English is perfect by the way! From what I can tell at least, it's not my first language. Greetings from Argentina :)

[@ribbblyy1580]

Kawazu Inoue went really hard on those illustrations, they're terrifying I love them ❤️

[@callane-re9nz]

your sound is so earth-shaking. it feels like the surrounding world has crumbled, like this song has the capability to tear everything down to the bare bone. i only came across this song because it was recommended by youtube but i've never been more glad i clicked on something in my life -- as i was watching and listening i realized i needed to put my earbuds on because there was no way i was experiencing the full scope of your soundscape (i was right, i did really need my earbuds). and the lyrics ... i don't relate to all of them (and i am so sorry to those who do) but they are still so resonant. the twisting of what love means and the redefinition of it as a way to cope with suffering, and putting on a facade because it's what is expected of you even though it is killing you, is something i feel is extremely universal and this song and mv are probably some of the most heart shatteringly direct depictions of it ever. these illustrations and the visual sensory overload of them and the way you tuned your len, how his voice is so often buried within all those feelings - idk, i'm someone who usually listens to more instrumental than vocal compositions and this is still one of the rare times i've felt like the music itself is communicating, like the instruments are directly speaking into my soul. your chord progressions and the places where you choose to use sonic maximalism vs. quietness contribute a lot too. sometimes pain is a quiet unraveling of the self and other times it's horrifyingly overwhelming and destructive ... i'm just stunned by how much you captured the entirety of the spectrum of emotions trauma can take form as. lastly i want to give a shoutout to the choice to mix media and include a more realistic clip amidst the illustrations (which are incredible too, don't get me wrong, the artist did such a great job at capturing what trauma feels like in form). it's an unusual choice in a vocaloid mv but one i respect a lot, forcing the listener/watcher to understand just how real and heavy this is meant to be where otherwise it might be easy to leave it as something strictly "2d" tl;dr everything about this song and mv is genius. thank you for composing, so much

[@Skittyissocool]

My thoughts on this song: Mentions of SA and grooming. After listening to this song, its talking about how a boy was mistreated in a sexual way by his teacher. We don't know what the teacher did exactly, but the boy is obviously traumatized by the event. Some lines that make me think this way is "im dirty" and "my naked body" in the middle of the song. The boy was probably groomed into thinking this was ok, but over time he realized he was being taken advantage of. The song is quite distressing, the beats are quite chaotic and disconnected at certain sections. Overall the story was quite clear and it's really sad once you look at the lyrics. If anyone is reading this and has similar truama to this song, you are loved and I believe you will overcome it. Don't give up.

[@canofmayonaise3909]

The moment the video tape showed I genuinely felt a bit scared since I have a small feeling it might be a real tape, about something back in 2014. But overall the video and the song captures the story and feeling so well

[@heyitsval88]

@@canofmayonaise3909 its insane how ur the literal only person ive seen talk about that part. felt like i was going crazy. I feel like that part just seals the deal that: no, it's not about a "people pleaser" or whatever, and since countless other SOOOO songs have the same theme, that YES, this song is about CSA.

[@canofmayonaise3909]

@@heyitsval88 I was looking through to see if anyone wants to mention about it 😭 glad someone else sees it too. That detail and (possible personal experience) just feels terrifying, Props to SOOOO for that

[@かまめさか]

あくまでちゃんと人間だったのに環境のせいで化け物になってしまったって感じがたまらない。 悲惨な事故現場の写真を見てしまったような、生々しい恐怖とショックをこの作品を通じて感じました。 今までにない感覚でとても滾ります、最高です

[@Silysillysilly]

Jesus CHRIST this is the most dark song you’ve put out so far Bravo, I actually felt so sick and just outright DESPAIR while watching this. That’s not something that can be easily done, especially with other vocaloid songs these days. Your work never ceases to amaze me. Edit: After watching the video all the way through and reading the lyrics, my heart goes out to what sort of horrific situation that you’ve successfully presented to us. This is one of the most accurate portrayals that I’ve seen (in modern media) of CSA and grooming that I’ve ever seen. Everything, from the visuals, to the gritty lyrics drives home the fact that it’s SUPPOSED to make you feel so nauseating, so mortified. It captures that feeling after having experienced such a traumatic event, and having to cope with the harsh reality of actually having experienced such a brutal thing. My heart goes out to you and what you’ve made, it’s absolutely stunning

[@cfm_en]

another day to be thankful i do not suffer from photosensitive epilepsy 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@remedy07]

WAKE UP SOOOO JUST DROPPED A BANGER

[@Kuwushii_]

"There's no way I can love myself" "Im sorry I was born" "I didn't want to be called a kind person" ... oh my god this song is literally so sad.

[@saltysalmoling8055]

I know right? That's just another thing that makes it so beautiful! And it's not made like someone just feigning sadness for attention, the way it's written clearly demonstrates SOOOO really understands these ideas, these feelings. It's blended so beautifully.

[@Hachiandmisakin]

It hurts more because I relate to this song but I feel guilty for relating to it because I haven’t gotten abused sexually (I mean just harassed) and I have intrusive thoughts and anxiety about every adult around me doing that to me and it’s so scary

[@klondikegardens6570]

⁠@@Hachiandmisakin same, and like it hasnt happened to me that many times, but it still left something in me, i feel a mix of fear and disgust whenever i feel like a stranger is looking at me, i want so badly to sink into the ground and disappear

[@ThenormalGuy-ol3oc]

This has to be one of the most insane song from him yet. My ears get completely fucked over thoughout the song from how much distorted and overwhelmed by ungodly amount of sounds. AND ITS STILL WORKED LOL. His Len's voice is just... doesn't sound like Len sometimes. I like to think that is just SOOOO's sound at this point. Giving how professional he tuned Len's voice into what he intented to the point that it just became SOOOO's. The illustration here made me blew my mind of how much details and attention they have. Its just like anti-god kind of art and I love every bit of it. Such scrumptious consumptions by my own naked eyes to Kawazu Inoue's illustrations. The visual is definitely a massive improvement from SOOOO (since I love cracked and overwhelmed visuals). The composition of the effect and animation to strengthen the feeling from the song is much better now. Which I don't know if that is a good thing anymore lol. The lyrics is definitely very sad and angry. Like he has told to be positive and he willingly did so, but people (probably teacher in this case) took advantage of him, to the point that his life is probably completely destroyed. He hates to be born. He regret his action. He is so mad about their actions by becoming their "toy". this shit is deep y'all I can't- """THAT ONE PART""" was indeed, creeped me out. Very disgusting. Truly a masterpiece from one of the kind. Although it's not necessarily my favorite song, but I hope it will definitely grow on me. I'll come back to appreciate this song again. At least I'm speaking as a big fan to him. Edit : NVM IT DID GROW ON ME NOW. IT WORKED WITH THE MAXIMUM VOLUME AND THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG NOW. AS IF THE MONSTER WITHIN ME WANT TO SCREAM. THIS SHIT IS ABSOLUTE PEAK🔥🔥🔥 I will look forward to you forever. Stay alive SOOOO.❤

[@Gweenteea]

The illustration. The pitched, sorrowful voice, the grittiness and violence of the lyrics juxtaposed by the childlike wording. GOD, SOOOO HOW DO YOU DO IT 😭 This is by far one of the best renditions of a breakdown stemming from childhood SA because it is so realistic and yet so dark at the same time. How somebody can regress in age and at the same time be grossly matured by the trauma inflicted upon them. The lyrics 'kindness is given with suffering as a condition" just hits so much. I just can't- It really is such a raw line that I just feel like extending my arms and hugging the Len that's singing this song. I simultaneously love it and also mourn it, it's just such genius songwriting. Also, the short mock 'video' was so haunting. It makes you so sick of what they made him go through. There have never been a single day when I don't stop thinking about your works, SOOOO! This was truly a masterpiece in its own right! 3 years in the making must've been worth it because from the sound design to the instrumentals and illustration (even Len speaking in English?!), were all so masterfully crafted! Thank you so much for this, SOOO! 😭 It's so cathartic to hear.

[@Gweenteea]

I keep coming back to this. And oh god, the layerings of voice. THE WEIGHT. LOSING MY MIND ONCE AGAIN!!!!!!

[@TheNekoPastel]

I've never had a vocaloid song shake me to my core as much as this one.

[@m1kur1n54]

You can really feel the pain behind SOOOO’s music. I’m so glad I stumbled upon their music when I was at my lowest a few years ago. I felt very low today so I decided I’d finally listen to their new song that I’ve been meaning to watch. The lyrics, the images, all of it. It all feels like my suicidal thoughts, my battle with depression and anxiety expressed in a way that I’ve never been able to communicate myself with others. I really hope SOOOO knows how much their songs mean to people like me who are struggling. Thank you SOOOO. ❤

[@Mizuki_438]

「生まれてきたことを後悔しています」 その部分は私の顔が詩になっていました、文字通り今日が私の誕生日だからです、ははは

[@Gun_powder_]

happy birthday!!! :D

[@Mizuki_438]

@@Gun_powder_ Thank you ^^

[@velvet2812]

Happy Birthday to youuuu 🎉

[@Mizuki_438]

@@velvet2812 Thank you ^^

[@_catzee]

たんじょうびおめでとう！SOOOO歌は最高のたんじょうびプレゼント^w^

[@あり-i2v]

音数が多くてノイズがなっている中メロディーがとても繊細ですごく心地良い。 希望を見せない歌詞はあくまで自分のことを言っていて自分を攻撃しているところが逆に優しい

[@weirdRose008]

Man, as a victim of csa since 4 until 14 hopefully so many parts of this speak my mind. Also the first song with this topic that ive seen talking about loving their abuser. Im sadly like that too, and trying to work on it now in theraoy, i mean i havent mentioned it yet but yea bc almost half of my shame and self blame and all that come from the fact that i loved my abusers too. And the sounds, literally what i hear in my mind, what i want to do, I want to scream, and the voices in my head constantly just, scream. Im so tired of it all. This song srsly feels like an outlet for my strong urges to let negative feelings out, especially bc of the loud sounds and how its so layered and heavy.

[@pilllllsz]

oh my goodness. im so sorry :( youre really strong. please be safe ❤

[@XYZkone]

First SOOOO song, came here for the visuals, stayed for the banger, ended up crying once I read the lyrics outloud to myself, 10/10

[@c8k5]

wake up babe, annual sooo song just dropped and im satisfied with life

[@snoop9064]

i suffer from schizophrenia and although i may not relate to the lyrics, i really resonate with the overall feel of this song. in my darkest moments your songs always brought me solace. although i'm better now but still struggling, i come to your songs for comfort as there's really nothing like the sonic chaos that your songs have thank you, SOOOO, for saving me, and i hope you'll feel better someday too

[@C0de_Red_0]

Musically, this is a very interesting song. In the beginning, it's easy to follow, a simple 6/8 rhythm (i'm assuming) with the snare marking the tempo easily, and all the instruments easily heard where they belong, but then as the song progresses, it becomes a lot more difficult to follow and switching scales and tempos after every chunk, and the white noise buries a lot of the sound, which also worsens as the song goes on. At 2:51, the tempo speeds up a bit, the time signature changes to a quarter note meter, and Len sings in a constant stream of 16th notes and rises in pitch chromatically, then starts jumping back and forth between octaves without following a scale as if waking up and processing, then panicking at the state he's described himself in-- which he still seems to blame himself for, so he must consider himself akin to the very garbage he's in. Then at 5:25, beneath the screeching and white noise, it sounds like it went back to the chorus (could be wrong about that), which gives the impression of a mental breakdown as the victim processes all the trauma he went through. This song is very hard to wrap my head around, and it took me a few listens to understand what I was meant to be listening to, and the disfigured and distressed sound really captures the permanent mental disfigurement and altered view of the people around them and themselves a rape victim suffers. The way the song continues to become more and more confusing captures how the rape in this song was most likely regular, and disfigured the victim's mind more each time it happened. I have a lot of friends who are rape victims (IDK why, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing), and knowing that this sound is what they're feeling quite honestly makes me want to throw up and eviscerate their rapists. Well done. Edit to add: I get the feeling from the way it’s written that this actually happened to SOOOO. If that’s the case, damn man. Hope this song helped you get as much of it out as possible. A song this aggressive and disgusting sounding (in a good way) seems like it was very cathartic.

[@loganokuneko]

Worth the 3 years of waiting !!!! Such a masterpiece, just as always. Thank you for all your songs, SOOOO. I'll always wait for the next one, whatever how much time it'll take. Please take good care of yourself. Thank you for everything. I'll always support you and all your songs

[@0Nicotine0]

紙に巻き込まれた落書きを音に変換させるとこんな感じだろうな。 This is what it would feel like if you converted the scribbles on paper into sound.

[@catkizmel1096]

あぁ、そのセンスに嫉妬するわ

[@ell_l]

His english sounds so good here

[@supernova9187]

this one is definitely an experience, arguably one of the most traumatising so far and I'm all for it

[@mint_marigold1229]

I'm really glad you're still with us, SOOOO. I'm so sorry you've endured so much pain throughout your life. We're all supporting you. ♡ This goes for others in the comments who are struggling as well-- you never ever deserved to be abused, and I hope you find healing and happiness. You are cared for. You're not alone.

[@Aku-Akatsuki]

たまたまおすすめに流れてきた こんなに衝撃的な曲を聴いたのは久々でうまく言葉にできません ただただ、高いがドンと重く悲痛な声が頭の中を反芻しています

[@alfrundi]

How are you able to pour and crystalize your feelings and emotions into a song, find the best words to convey them

[@avidduzereader]

The amount of horror and terror I get is indescribable. Its so confusing and terrifying from the lyrics, tone and music. This is what I call a music that could drown a person in emotions. Make you imagine and feel the underlying message.

[@usoppfangirl8153]

I didn't think it was possible for a your music to resonate with me this strongly as a survivor of multiple forms of abuse. This is powerful.

[@3Y3ce]

The meaning of this song is genuinely so sad and disturbing that I'm happy you interpreted it the way you did. That and I think this mv just scarred my brain for the next week. Amazing work

[@AGnar0k]

5:07 this tune goes so insanely hard

[@johuanathanswanhanderson]

I came here because it was new but the last thing I expected was to be COMPLETELY mortified. The visuals are sure to haunt me tonight and the lyrics made my heart sink all the way down to hell. I never could have thought that someone could perfectly express pure rage and despair, it's so vile that it's incredible. THIS is art. These subjects make me feel nothing but terror, my vocabulary is too small to describe it. I pray that all victims will finally find peace and their abusers will rot for what they've done 😔🙏 We love you SOOOO

[@y0ur._real1ty]

This is an absolutely insane song. I’ve never heard anyone tune a vocaloid quite like this. Len’s guttural scream was hauntingly amazing.

[@MewMewRoche10155]

Honestly, this song is the one that shook me the most, not out of fear, but out of how it accurately represents the emotions that the person in the video is experiencing, its distorted, painful, regretful, and chaotic. Its an amazing masterpiece that i for one, relate to in an odd manner, finding comfort in such a disturbed art. Thank you SOOOO!!

[@谷津-i3n]

音圧すごいのに安心して聴ける絶妙なラインで調整されていてすごい・・・すごい曲に出会ってしまった・・・

[@arteeyyyy]

dude absolutely fantastic piece, SOOOO's works are incredible. for me, who has C-PTSD, depression, and has dealt with familial CSA, this song particularly hits close to home for me. Listening to the lyrics of this song almost felt gratifying in a way. I've always appreciated Vocaloid music because so many producers work to create a sound to portray experiences they've personally gone through or to provide a voice for others. There are way too many lyrics in this song I've found either relatable or I've even thought about before trying to work through a life of trauma. Despite the beautiful but terrifying visuals and sound, this song is undeniably comforting for me. Thank you SOOOO for making amazing art like this, if you ever stumble upon this comment I hope you're doing well :)

[@dash5058]

The "Why was i even born" reminds me a lot of "How did i let this shit happen" in Scrumize... Both give me chills, amazing song!

[@julee1015]

i love everything about this video, the music, the lyrics, lens voice, the illustrations, EVERYTHINGGG!!!!! I LOVE HOW YOU TUNE LEN IN YOUR SONGS YOU ARE LITERALLY AMAZINGG

[@334...4]

You did a great job at putting the ragged emotion and sheer trauma into a song. I hope it helps people. My heart goes out to all the CSA survivors out there, I hope you feel as good as possible in the current moment and only better in the future

[@Qydee]

This is the first time I stumbled to this artist since this just popped up on my recommendations and I gotta say, the quote "art is meant to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable" (or something like that) But watching this in a dark room may had been a mistake on my part too 😭

[@IllovedShade]

This is the first tie I listened to a song and started crying, The raw emotions in it completely convey what someone living through csa experiences (At least I could Relate to It on a level I have never been able to with the other songs), you really feel the mental deterioration and conflicting feelings, knowing what you're doing is wrong but also actually being told that you're beautiful all of it blends together into a really disturbing mix which strangely enough also feels somewhat comforting, and at the same time I had my mouth agape at the stuff that was being sung about in this song, it's like I was totally stunned throughout, just having to listen as is something deep within is forcing me to experience it fully

[@Izasuki]

I didn’t expect to finally get to have a song that I could deeply relate to again, but here we are! I love the multiple underlaying tones of self-deprecation, especially at 4:30. It just resonates with what I’ve learned about my origin, your songs will always bring me comfort SOOOO. The beat, lyrics, rhythm and instrumental is all mashed up, entangling hideously with each other. But it gives me a great sense of safety, for some reason. I always felt like that with your other songs like Rasou and Happppy song. I hope you can understand a fraction of what I feel about your works, thank you for creating and sharing it💜

[@eugenecp3797]

SOOOO obvsiously is the most unique music creator ever

[@praisethelamps]

TRUE

[@loonylenlady6991]

this is the first time in a long time a vocaloid song has made me cry. its so beautiful, the way it describes a victim's state of mind after so long of enduring abuse. it makes me uncomfortable and sad but I'm happy to have listen and seen the video. SOOOO songs are songs you can only enjoy a handful of times because it shows so much ugliness in humans. Thank you for your hard work.

[@Caoba_]

Just got recommended this for some reason lol Every aspect of this song, the MV, the lyrics, Len's voice, etc, works in tandem to portray the anguish and hopelessness of a CSA victim. It's gutwrenching, definitely left me feeling distressed and with a pit in my stomach. Very very interested by your style, and if this is any indication, your ability to portray uncomfortable subjects in such a direct yet not disrespectful manner. I'll definitely be checking out the rest of this channel

[@kiuche5607]

i got GOOSE BUMPS, what is this masterpiece i just casually found? my ears are blesses for he night

[@tacotacos727]

THE THREE YEARS WAIT IS FINALLY OVER! THE VISUALS AND THE TWISTED YET BEAUTIFUL MUSIC IS SO PERFECT IT'S WORTH THE WAIT!!!

[@Azrielfiend]

i honestly think this is the rawest a sound could get trying to describe excruciating mental pain

[@Satonyan9]

LETS GOOOOOOO

[@Gabberbam]

this is just pure raw emotion... you can tell in every small place in this song, its something meant to disturb, yet feel yet oddly composed to just get blown away right after. this song is like a Hurricane.

[@TheSunnyy_Zone]

WAKE UP SOOOO JUST DROPPED ANOTHER BANGER 💥

[@chisaki703]

This song sounds and looks like pretty much all my trauma and moments of insanity summed up especially the "kindness comes with suffering as a condition" and "I didn't want to be a kind person" parts, magnificent☺️ 最高!!

[@witkat]

iiillluuuvvvUUU SOOOO

[@snootgame]

incredible sound design, incredible message, incredible artwork...the holy trinity of a SOOOO track.

[@pmdazai_nr1_fan]

SOOOO is either disgust, banger, or intense Yozo kinnie here, its all of em

[@Pukeprincess]

My inside out emotions

[@Makuri.hakikawa]

Another song that i related much tbh... such a banger

[@snowiiko]

this is legitimately probably his greatest song yet holy shit it almost brings me to tears what the FUCK

[@YINHE2.0]

Не представляю как много эмоций и страданий вложено в это произведение.. Каждый раз когда слушаю идут мурашки по коже. Очень жалко людей, что вынуждены проходить через такие страдания. Я рад что существует такой инструмент для выражения эмоций, как музыка. Спасибо что поделился с нами своими чувствами

[@ヤマダタナカ-f9m]

ノイズとか悲痛な気持ちになる音がたっぷりなんだけど、メロディがすごく美しくてじっくり聴き入ってしまう　この他に類を見ないバランス感覚がすごい………

[@celery_waffles]

This was an experience. I feel like this is the kind of music that can’t be described but also feels so real. I like that about it.

[@Hiiragi20]

不気味な感じもするけど綺麗っていうか美しい感じもする凄く引き込まれる

[@KitsuneFutekina]

I'm so happy that KZbin recommended me such an underrated video

[@aMolybdenum]

As a SOOOO fan since 2019, when I say this is my new favorite SOOOO song, there is some competition. I discovered Happppy song and I thought, "there's no way SOOOO can make better music than this." And then, Akuou released, and I thought, "This is really intense and very good composition, even better than what I've heard before, there's definitely no way something better than this can be created." And then, Rasou released, and I shared the same thoughts. Cherry Blossom Drops, Burning Spring took me by surprise with how passionate, emotional, and outright amazing it was. After this, I thought the same thing I thought through every song prior and waited for SOOOO to drop something new and blow me away. After three years, I began to think that SOOOO stopped making music, but after witnessing this magnum opus I can confidently say that there is DEFINITELY no way that anyone can make something with as much passion, emotion, and musicality as this. illloved is the best vocaloid song I've ever heard, and I may even broaden that to the best song I've heard. The compassion that SOOOO puts into their lyrics blows me away every time, and it shows in the work. SOOOO is truly a person who cares for their craft and perfects every minute detail, and I am so glad I waited three years for this. Never has a song impressed me like this has, and I hope SOOOO can continue making music and expressing themself, because this level of compassion and dedication is AMAZING and something I LOVE. Thank you for your hard work SOOOO.

[@kremstoin]

Why is this so good? I wanted to stop watching it but I couldn't. I feel heavy but also light for some reason.

[@saltysalmoling8055]

I loved, every, second of that. The harmonies to the voicings to the instrumentation to the use of both Japanese and English, to the actual meanings of the lyrics themselves, to the absolutely phenomenal imagery and effects, to the way all the sections of the song flow together. All the intensity with all of the subtlety behind it all culminating in this masterpiece. I've listened to a lot of music, I want to create my own and I've seen some truly incredible writing and preforming but this... This is, without a doubt, the best song, and music video, I have ever seen. By a lot. I love it SOOOO much and it was absolutely worth the wait. Thank you for creating such a beautiful song.

[@chmonyannn]

masterpiece.

[@aceedetective]

ENSTARS

[@292_01]

ENSTARS!!!

[@nightkiller2.0_666]

Enstars

[@aoideesu]

新曲、本当に嬉しいです、、！音楽もさることながら、目がチカチカするような映像もとても素敵でした、、本当にお疲れ様でした！ありがとうございます、、！

[@НеймОтфонаря]

made me think of my friend, who suffers from such things, her physical and mental health is so bad, i just wanna cry and also i see her tomorrow, gonna hug her and keep supporting her

[@nasywahs]

Welcome back SOOOO! Once again you've managed to bring me to an emotional rollercoaster ride, and it was amazing! The illustration and MV are really good too. Thank you so much!

[@phancanedoo013]

I saw this one in my recommendations. Not thinking much of it but darker themes, i opened the tab to listen to it at some point. When that time came.... dear god. I had to flip a switch in my mind to even begin to comprehend this. It is definitely its own form of art, and far surpassed any expectations i could have had for it. Even if i didn't like it (i do like it), this one has successfully forced its way into my mind.... and i'm glad it did =D

[@cheezor_]

Gotta love songs who literally give you just a glimpse but harsh blast of what you are about to hear.

[@Eirelav911]

I can’t help but feel ill from both how disgusting people can be to cause this to a child, but I also feel ill from a weird empathetic understanding of this experience. I don’t understand.

[@yblrtm]

БЛЯТЬ Я ДУМАЛ ТУТ КАК МИНИМУМ НЕСКОЛЬКО МИЛЛИОНОВ, НЕДООЦЕНЕННЫЕ КЛИП И ПЕСНЯ

[@zerowontsleep9138]

This is the first time I listened to this song and MY GOD- WHAT AN EXPERIENCE I JUST HAD- I usually like these type of song that sound rlly loud and make ''no sense at all''. But this one was totally different. more when you can feel the despair and all those mixed emotions, THE HATRED in the music. The lyrics also were something that left me in a state of shock. When the song ended I was literally with my jaw dropped. The comfort I've felt in this is the amount of sounds, the screams at the end and everything that was mixed up, because sometimes that's just how my mind can sound and I love someone portrayed it in such a perfect way. Great song, I loved it.

[@illlovedd]

the artist showed no mercy on this video. props to them!

[@DKoS_9158]

I have never seen such a chaotic display of pure anguish at the top of your lungs and it feels relieving in some sort of way. It's like the song screamed for me who didn't. Not that anything of that level ever happened in my life but it indeed helped in reliving some suppressed feelings.

[@SakuraScythe]

I like how the entire comment section (including me)can relate to the song, feels like a safe space 😍😍😍

[@eliotbarnhart2810]

The instrumentation on this is bananas, i love it

[@AldenEmroch]

Your work is always incredible, this is an really good portrayal of CSA/SA the music cries and screams i can feel the despair and even tho i haven't gone through something like that i think this is the best way to convey such an horrible feeling, i felt it on the whole song There's a lot of music that talks about such topics already and they are good but none of them try to convey the feeling itself attached to those topics, this is why i love your work, its such a raw emotion on everything you create Thank you SOOOO

[@void-vl7tx]

THIS IS SUCH A BANGER i'm getting more and more concerned about your overall, not only mental well-being though...

[@heavenlyhells]

i absolutely adore iiillluuuvvvuuu, and here comes a song that’s pretty much tied to it, that makes me very happy! from the music to the video and to the name, it’s amazing. “illloved” both can be perceived as ‘i loved’ and as ‘ill-loved’, covering people’s behaviour towards the song’s protagonist.

[@zrudu]

it’s back. the irreplaceable “noise” is back. it was worth the wait.

[@magnetariblackcherry1986]

OMG, I LOVED IT, I FELT LEN'S PAIN IN THE WHOLE SONG, I LOVE YOUR TUNING WITH LEN AAAAAAAAAAAAA

[@qq0wm]

SOOOO-сама снова вернулся к нам с новой песней...!!! Большое спасибо за Ваши труды, песня как всегда прекрасная, хочется переслушивать раз за разом! SOOOO様、素晴らしい曲をありがとうございます。 それらは私の人生の最も困難な瞬間に私を救ってくれます。 とても感謝しています。ロシアの人々があなたをとても愛していることを知ってください！

[@cordi9360]

Yo another russian? Не ожидал встретить ещё ондного ценителя русскоговорящего.

[@saifa929]

​​@@cordi9360 как я рада, что наши слоняры тоже слушают этот шедевр и остальные его песни!!! Вы самые лучшие люди с самым лучшим вкусом

[@Line_28388]

Ого русские в комментах

[@Kuwushii_]

The lyrics, the meaning, the song, the visuals.. everything... its literally perfect. You can sense the despair of the lyrics, his hatred....

[@kaitosnumber1fannn]

This song truly is beautiful. It really shows how much pain the writer is feeling. Welcome back SOOO

[@weirdalofficialvevo]

incredible. your music and videos always depict anger and sadness that comes with trauma in such a clear and powerful way, i can't help but get fully immersed into them, especially on the first watch. this is by far one of if not your greates work!

[@cia1998]

How do you even manifest strong realistic emotions in a song? How did you make the metaphorical visible? SOOOO is such a musical genius

[@guccipucci7126]

soooo i love your songs so much please dont die from ball cancer or something 🙏🙏🙏

[@slothic222]

It was so worth waiting for 3 years!! Your works are tragic masterpieces that should be sent into a museum. No matter how long it takes, you're doing an amazing job, SOOOO. And I hope you're okay.