Sorry for not being my best

[@buzzkillman]

Dude, you've done AMAZING! If someone gives you crap for taking a break or whatever, it tells you more about them than you. I wish you the best, and thanks for all the tutorials and great commentary!

[@CaptainCollins]

Nobody was bad towards me, I just had the urge to adress it

[@trashblob]

There are Ups and Downs in life and there is no need for an apology if you're far down. I love that you were able to smile anyhow and that you keep your head up. Your Crew will watch your back captain. And if you need some times Off-duty, that is absolutely fine. o7

[@CaptainCollins]

Thank you a lot, trying the best.

[@bulletstop100]

Real life always takes precedence! I truly hope things get better soon!

[@CaptainCollins]

Thank you, it's already getting better :)

[@ArsenalFC-hp7xr]

Whatever is going on in your life, I hope things get better for you. Put yourself first.

[@CaptainCollins]

I will, more than before.

[@Salac0]

Man this is heartbreaking! There's no need to apologize for taking personal time. Hope things improve!

[@xota-prebs4593]

No one (should) expects you to be like a clockwork! Take care of yourself, would hate to loose you! Oh Captain, My Captain! 💪

[@CaptainCollins]

No ones gonna go anywhere. If I not get hit by a spaceship, everything's fine ;)

[@chromehoundfan]

Collins, I hope you feel better, take care of yourself mate, your health and mental wellbeing is always priority. Found you through looking for X4 tutorials, and you will always be one of the most informative channels i've come across!

[@CaptainCollins]

wow!

[@BlissfulZen]

Life happens and comes first mate, don't let it bury you. Sometimes it just requires more energy than usual and other things need to pull a number and wait in line. All the best to you and I wish you strength in whatever it is you are battling.

[@CaptainCollins]

Thank you very much, the battle turns into my favor since recently :)

[@scottamos7223]

You never have to apologize for prioritizing yourself over work. Self care should be the highest priority. 😊

[@CaptainCollins]

Should be, but we all know how it is sometimes

[@Troubleshooter11]

No need to apologize, captain. You are only human and we want you to be ok. For me personally i get melancholic during the september-december months and it can be difficult to push through that and keep functioning. But we gotta keep going, even if we have to slow down a little bit from time to time. o7

[@CaptainCollins]

Absolutely, there's a time after all the hardship!

[@splashngo21]

no apology needed

[@CaptainCollins]

Much appreciated

[@johnk.327]

Take care, Captain. We'll be here when you are ready.

[@CaptainCollins]

Hope that "ready" starts now :) Thanks!

[@HCGxreaver]

I hope things get better for you, thank you for all you have done for us.

[@CaptainCollins]

I appreciate that

[@StilgarAstartes]

Don't beat yourself up, Cap! Life can be a real pain sometimes - take all the time you need, when and if you need it. The crew will be back quicker than you can say "Autopilot has epically failed!". Much love to you and yours!

[@CaptainCollins]

Haha, thanks Stilgar 💪

[@misterinadequate3518]

No need to apologize, life comes first.

[@CaptainCollins]

sometimes it's an internal need :)

[@Xelnah]

Sometimes life takes unwanted turns, when things look dark, push through, there's always something bright ahead. It sounds like you are recovering, great to hear. Take care man

[@CaptainCollins]

Yep, recovering already. Thank you for your kind words.

[@04jeanpiero]

Hope you feel better, we got your back bro. Rest if you need to!

[@CaptainCollins]

Thank you, hope to get back on track soon

[@cunninghamb505]

no apology needed bro, life takes priority, keep doing what you are doing

[@DewtehDew]

Hang in there, and keep your head up! Your mental and physical wellbeing is most important.

[@CaptainCollins]

Thank you a lot

[@nou8257]

it happens man just do your best and keep on going.

[@CaptainCollins]

Will do, thanks 💪

[@anteep4900]

reminds me of that South Park episode "I'm Sorry" haha

[@CaptainCollins]

Oh god, I have not done any environmental damage :D

[@WatchMysh]

Feel you, bro. In my case everything also went quite well until a bone dry reality check kicked my teeth in in May. Also without going into the details: it was horrible and continues the "trend" my personal life besides work and projects had within the last 2,5 years. It's super hard to stay focused and put out content while getting flattened by life like a flounder. A while ago you told me in one of your streams to "be grateful and enjoy the things while they last" and you sounded very sincere. You knew what you were talking about and I recognized that. Let me tell you that this 2 second sentence helped me TREMENDOUSLY to keep going & it lifted my spirits more than you'd expect. Our words can make a big difference, we just usually don't get to see the immediate consequences, especially if we voice our thoughts online. Keep going, Cap. You're a great guy, that's clear for everyone more empathetic than a rock to see. Things will get better. And maybe get diagnosed. It takes a while but once things are cleared up you'll have a much easier time being gentle and friendly to yourself. It also helps with finding a Captain-friendly way to work and live. Love out! You got this.

[@CaptainCollins]

"Words are like swords", eh? Sometimes they struck us down and sometimes they can defend us. Your words have meaning for me too, thank you very much for sharing.

[@WatchMysh]

@@CaptainCollins gladly :)

[@tiago.suares]

Hey man, take care of yourself and your mental health. Thank you for all the fun and knowledge you provided us throughout all of this. But try to enjoy your life above all else, it's yours and only yours.

[@CaptainCollins]

Will do, thank you

[@Zerlunar]

Many prayers to you, your loved ones, family and friends and everyone here. 🙏 Your all great and amazing wonderful beautiful people. Keep your heads up and keep pushing forward always. 😎🚀

[@CaptainCollins]

Thank you for the kind words

[@andyrobson17]

Thank you for all the gaming streams which are always super useful and entertaining, I hope that you feel better real soon, all the very best.

[@CaptainCollins]

Thank you, it's getting better already

[@Rakshasaka]

Hang in there, Cap, life comes with it's ups and downs. You do you. 🖖

[@CaptainCollins]

Thank you 🤗

[@MyRkAcc]

Thank you for letting us know, we miss you but your health is the most important!

[@floundericiouswa5694]

o7 IRL is the top priority because that’s what you have when the electricity goes out

[@CaptainCollins]

absolutely right

[@Lysurgic]

we love you homie, dont even worry about it

[@CaptainCollins]

thank you

[@FunkThompson]

Take a break if you need. We come here to watch, but we also come to support. I'd rather you be doing well for yourself, than doing well for us. Also: Saw your response down thread, and I bet a video of you (your character) being hit by spaceships might just grab a few clicks for relatively little effort ;)

[@SeducingJackel]

Mate you're a good soul, sorry to hear your having a rough ride as of late, I'm absolutely sure you'l focus your yin-yang soon.. we're here for you bud, just ask..

[@CaptainCollins]

Thank you

[@hyperkaioken4982]

Stay strong man. There's no need for an apology. Your videos helped me out a bunch on X4 when I first discovered it. If anything we owe you a thank you. 🤝

[@CaptainCollins]

That's great :) Glad I make your days better

[@GoogleIsNotYourFriend]

As an inconsequential old "non-internet life" person (not into streaming, never donate, never participate in chats or online communities) I don't really know enough to comment on these interactions given how content creators are financially beholden to their audiences and their (often unreasonable) expectations...yet as just a human, I hope you are doing whatever you need to put your own health and happiness first. I really enjoy your videos and your content has been extremely helpful to me as I've started getting (back) into x4. I know it isn't much but thank you for being you.

[@CaptainCollins]

Well, it's just like any other business. You need to work to keep it running. Thanks for your words!

[@boldrust]

Love your content Captain Collins, keep it flowing and stay strong brother!

[@CaptainCollins]

Thanks m8!

[@riplee406]

No apology needed. You provide excellent content even when you aren't your best (I couldn't tell). Obviously, you care very much and are passionate about what you do and that comes through; I feel that's the most important trait for any KZbin creator. You're feeling the need to apologize shows you care about your work (which is excellent ++).

[@CaptainCollins]

Well said, Thank you

[@shutter-de]

Du bist auch nur ein Mensch und wenn die Zeit gerade sehr schwierig ist, pass bitte auf dich auf. Ist schön, dass du an deine Community denkst, aber deine (geistige) Gesundheit geht vor.

[@CaptainCollins]

Danke sehr, ich passen auf 👍

[@jtvice1862]

1. Never apologize to the internet. 2. Make breaks official. As punishment . . .BRING OUT THE TWO ROCKS OF SHAME!

[@CaptainCollins]

Shame!

[@NerZul007]

Hang in there man

[@CaptainCollins]

thanks

[@michaelreidy8662]

Compassion for yourself mate. We're all human all too human.

[@CaptainCollins]

Right, thanks

[@ColonialBurton]

Just remember why you're playing games and streaming brother, to have fun! We've got your back.

[@CaptainCollins]

Thank you!

[@sonkefh]

Kopf hoch Junge!! ❤

[@CaptainCollins]

Aber sowas von! Danke

[@hannoversa]

Take good care of yourself, Captain C. Be well and come back renewed.

[@CaptainCollins]

Thanks, already on my way!

[@giuxster]

No need to apologyze Captain, stay strong

[@CaptainCollins]

Thank you 💪

[@joelpetersen2480]

Alles Gute dir. Grüße 'us Kölle.

[@CaptainCollins]

Merci vom ä pälzer

[@lemonoeye]

Shall we get these haters to the air-lock cap'n? Don't listen to them. We, yer true crew will always stick by you no matter what and we will understand you. We're here for you cap'n!

[@CaptainCollins]

No haters here :) really just an internal need to adress it. Thank you

[@Brat2513]

You dont need to be sorry. Shit happens and most ppl understand that when life shits in your face it'll take time to clean

[@CaptainCollins]

Yikes, but true. Thank you

[@hoblon]

MAte, take your time. Life sucks sometimes but that's not constant.

[@CaptainCollins]

That's right, thanks

[@davidareeves]

Don't beat yourself up over the small things, streaming and us. You and your family come first, if you are not healthy, you make us worry, so stop it. When you are back, you're back, don't stress, that's a killer ;)

[@CaptainCollins]

The hard time's hopefully already over, at least the peak's over :) Onwards!

[@alien3109]

hope you solve all and find balance on life. love your videos of X4

[@NapFloridian]

in 2017 I got divorced, then in 2018 my mom passed, and then came Covid, and then in 2022 I lost my apartment. To get to the point, in 2017, I didn't even care, and when my mom passed, I went straight to work, getting neck deep into work and trying to push feelings aside; it doesn't work all the time, but whatever works for you... just do it, and don't care what people say or do.

[@CaptainCollins]

Oh man, this is tough. I felt your positivity in chat and now it's even brighter. Thanks for sharing, we'll keep going!

[@NapFloridian]

@@CaptainCollins same to you... and thank you

[@reggie368]

Hey Captain ! Cheers ! 😃

[@CaptainCollins]

Reggie o7

[@DailyChall]

Real Life is most important, the rest is just the dust. Take care.

[@CaptainCollins]

I will, thank you

[@steemlenn8797]

Get better!

[@CaptainCollins]

I will :)

[@TheGorobei]

Keep doing great work

[@CaptainCollins]

thank you

[@elianos1]

Always keep in mind Real life > Streaming Even if its your job. mental health is the most important thing and cannot be repaired in some case. So don't break it. No one with at least 1 brain cell will blame you for that

[@CaptainCollins]

Thank you, I just hope to be able to do my favorite job again at full-throttle.

[@TheSmokeGoblin]

I can recommend therapy, it really does help. I hope you can overcome this, remember everything passes. You are the Goat!

[@TheSmokeGoblin]

Be happy that it happened, not that its over.

[@CaptainCollins]

True true. It's already getting brighter

[@wolfhound146]

Hey Cap, I'm really sorry I have not been to more streams. I don't know if you remember this, but one of the X4 streams I caught it and asked you if everything was okay. I mean it wasn't that I was trying to pry or anything just... I guess I don't know how to express compassion without asking if someone is okay. Well hey Cap, if you need to take a break for a bit please do that. We are not going anywhere. Just take care of yourself please. Much love to you and I hope you feel better soon!

[@CaptainCollins]

Thank you a lot. I guess it was visible at times. But it's already getting better

[@valinra1289]

I'm sad I missed this. Collins you have zero cause to apologize. None of us judge you for being human.

[@CaptainCollins]

No need to be sad :) I was sad enough for both of us :) Let's be great together!

[@ruestymote2022]

o7 Cpt! I can only speak for myself, but you don’t owe us an apology. We appreciate the content you provide. Things in your life, the health of you and your loved ones always take priority. ‘May the stars forever be in your favor’ Love -Ruesty

[@CaptainCollins]

Very much appreciated!

[@joshdoldersum9132]

Bro take care of yourself. I watch videos as they come up, I don't expect regular content from anybody. Nobody on KZbin owes me anything, I'm here for a distraction from my life. You all are performing a service for me.

[@CaptainCollins]

Thank you for taking the pressure out of it

[@Lucpol1986]

Real life first>>>>virtual life second. Simples 👍🏾

[@CaptainCollins]

That's right!

[@tarax007]

❤

[@CaptainCollins]

🥰

[@Rysdad1]

I think you do a fantastic job

[@isimiel3405]

Take care of you first dude

[@CaptainCollins]

Thanks, will do

[@irinaross8687]

Will you came back ?

[@CaptainCollins]

I'm already back! This apology came after the difficult time and it's getting a lot better now

[@Ironbuket]

Did he already say what it is? Sounds like his partner may have left him?

[@CaptainCollins]

I didn't say anything, nor will I ever. Just wanted to clear things up why streams are short or missing or no new videos are coming. But it will change now.

[@jamesdonlon3763]

Hey man, first for me to comment here, just to say over these same few months it has been a very difficult time at home for me, and, your content was a huge source of entertainment and rejuvenation for me. Wishing for you to find the same and we will be here for you when ready. For now, let an AI pilot do the driving for a while!

[@CaptainCollins]

Oh, I don't know if I trust the autopilot ;) Thank you for your first comment and glad that I could brighten your days!

[@DesepKing]

I don't rely on streaming for my income, but I've noticed a great deal of content creators are really struggling right now in real life and on their stream platforms. Twitch, KZbin, whatever, pick your poison, have become hard to deal with both from a management point of view and dealing with the viewers. I've watched you for along time and I have been in your discord for a long time. You used to have tons of fun doing this stuff. Just ignore the fools, haters, whiners, toxic people because they have always been there trying to suck the life out of others. Real life is crushing everyone right now, while our governments standby and do nothing. Gaming should be fun because it's our escape from the daily garbage. Just have fun Captain. Stop looking at the streaming analytics, the views, the likes, and just have fun.

[@CaptainCollins]

I truly feel that. It used to be just fun and it worked out too. Maybe I can get back to this and I'm just going through the realization cycle. Thanks for sharing

[@The_Cape_84]

Just like the saying goes, if we don't take time for us and our health (physical or mental) our bodies will do it for us and usually at the worst possible times... LOL. I enjoy your content and streams very much, but real life, family life, and your health are far more important! If you need a break, take it, if you need to adjust content delivery or stream schedules, do so! We'll still be here, don't you worry good sir! o7 Wish you the best brother!

[@CaptainCollins]

I feel like, I already took that break and didn't announce it. Maybe that's why I felt the need to apologize. Thank you for sharing

[@The_Cape_84]

@CaptainCollins I can see where you're coming from, that makes sense. Sometimes things happen so fast or so much, we dont have the time or capacity to do anything but deal with whatever is going on (dealt with this recently myself). We're just glad you're making it through everything, we want you to be healthy and happy 😁

[@WarWagon88]

God bless you brother. Rely on Jesus for strength

[@CaptainCollins]

Thank you

[@xantishayde-walker4593]

Hey, if you're going thru tough times, take a break. I'm sure you've earned it. If you got a Patreon with enough supporters, you can hopefully afford to go for a bit without making videos. If that messes up your channel enough to hurt you, then KZbin is pretty friggin broken.

[@CaptainCollins]

Feels like I already took the break and the channel was simply stalling. We're back now (hopefully)!

[@xantishayde-walker4593]

@@CaptainCollins Hopefully. You seem like a good dude and I'm grateful for your videos, helping me to dip my toes into the world of X4. As much as we like to see your videos, you can't make them as good, or possibly at all, without the proper frame of mind. I hope all is well with you and you're able to get back on track. I wish you good journeys, Captain.

[@vaydendar]

I posted in here the other day to thank you for the differnce you have made to me but I mentioned a forbiden topic and my post was deleted. So I'll try it in code. During a time when the whole world became poorly, and folks acted like sheep, I had you to see me through and keep me from going nuts. For encouraging me to play X4 for hundreds of hours more than I sholud have and for being genuine and listening to your community. You have nothing to be sorry for.

[@filipfenix]

I think you had a ring on your hand m8, sorry to hear

[@CaptainCollins]

All good, nothing changed.