Spurt - Critical Role (C2E50)

[@OriginalCreatorSama]

Spurt is what happens when you build a character around the idea of "I'm here for a good time, not a long time."

[@HioshimaFried]

Imma try that line next time in bed with the missus

[@frusteratedpenguin]

@@HioshimaFried underrated comment

[@omok2]

Lol its even better because spurt Is just a kobold stat block from out of the book

[@mikeage9824]

Literally yolo personified in a dumb as a brick package = hilarious fuck ups

[@alastrined4187]

fun fact, this was not a planned character by Chris. He was just in the studio because he was filming something else there and Matt was like "you wanna play a kobold tonight?"

[@jackdog06]

In the short time he was there he got a Nat 20 AND a Nat 1. He got the true D&D experience.

[@ashenwuss1651]

He also created laughs, pvp, and died. Truly... a verse d&d experience.

[@jordanw2009]

Chris Perkins is Dnd. Since he’s taken over at Wizards everything coming out for Dnd has been great!

[@SirStanleytheStumbler]

and played the nat 1 perfectly.

[@zoopdterdoobdter5743]

Almost like it was scripted! 🤣 😉

[@Medaumplay3]

Speedrun DnD, 100% completion

[@walker5192]

The way Chris Perkin's delightfully folds up his character sheet when his character dies

[@GammaAlanna]

I think he was very pleased with what he had accomplished

[@bartholen]

I don't think je even used a character sheet, he was clearly using the Kobold inventor statblock from Volo's.

[@TrainLechoo]

I hope he has a wall of all his created character sheets

[@somejellykid]

Train LeChoo lmao just Shale and Spurt’s semi-crumpled character sheets framed up on his wall

[@EightThreeEight]

For a second, I thought he was gonna fold it up and tear it in half.

[@technoskull]

he died as he lived. in a single episode.

[@kristopherblacklaw4404]

As a Spurt.🌹

[@KaeganThornhillTheCyberRaven]

In 11 minutes.

[@BadSkeelz]

Died as he lived. Loudly.

[@last2nkow]

he died doing what he lved. shrieking and flat

[@BluStreak]

Last words “I win!” You did indeed my friend.

[@JohnDoe-tl4gm]

Spurt was a candle that burned twice as bright for half as long.

[@magiv4205]

Ten times as bright but equally as short

[@devidevil888]

@@magiv4205 eleven times

[@magiv4205]

@@devidevil888 i am so sorry i missed the obvious opportunity

[@boopydoopy9156]

@@magiv4205 *_ELEVEN DAYS!_*

[@jackwhitneyVO]

And you no take candle!

[@DaFoolish_one]

"How long have you been down here?" "EleVEen DAyS" "How long do Kobolds live?" "ELeVEn DayS" Me- absolutely dying Spurt- also absolutely dying but not in a good way.

[@RaggedVentures]

Nor was Spurt incorrect.

[@cussundriakneal9904]

I showed an animatic of that scene to my group, and now EVERYONE will just randomly bust out with a *"ELEVEN DAYS!"* XD

[@Suavek69]

@@dobythejank my fav animatic kzbin.info/www/bejne/aHnZeHl8frVofs0

[@Medaumplay3]

He was the hero we needed right now, but not the hero we deserved

[@Grim_Sister]

“BOY, ITS DARK DOWN HERE!”

[@idothings5384]

You know you pick the wrong scout when the character with darkvision “Boy it’s dark down here.”

[@GammaAlanna]

I love Caleb's - "Oh, that is less appealing"

[@idothings5384]

GammaAlanna lol yeah it’s great

[@ashenwuss1651]

Darkvision in darkness equates to dim light. Dim light equals disadvantage on perception checks Darkness is still darkness, essentially.

[@idothings5384]

Ashen Wuss true true

[@Noobie2k7]

@@ashenwuss1651 I miss the days when there was actual dark vision and also low-light vision. Current Dark vision is just old low-light vision. I remember dark vision before you could see clearly in darkness but you actually got penalties in bright light.

[@hfar_in_the_sky]

I feel Spurt is the definition of a "one scene wonder."

[@V3n9eanc3]

And what a wonder he was.

[@Ko-et8vo]

and still he might have a longer backgroundstory than my character XD or most characters! just for the fun

[@One_Sock_Wonder_]

I agree

[@Aloysius_OHare]

I wish he lasted longer....

[@bigfoot1400]

@@Aloysius_OHare so does he.

[@mr.february2704]

My favourite part of this is that spurt only says kobolds live 11 days because he doesn't know how long they live and only says 11 days because he's lived 11 days

[@kingskelett6265]

Rhetorical Tic-tac Not that He was wrong in the end.

[@VegetaLF7]

What's especially great is they can live something like 135 years before dying of old age...just few if any ever make it that far.

[@aidancox5481]

@@VegetaLF7 The race stats literally say "but rarely do so."

[@tezla6332]

@@aidancox5481 He literally said "few if any ever make it that far" so what are you trying to correct?

[@skyelarbloo3979]

@@tezla6332 I don't think it was a correction, more of an addition

[@Drail2089]

I just imagine that enlarged Nott is just an average sized person.

[@blueblayzer8636]

Enlarge only increases one size so enlarged not is just an average-sized person

[@forest-goddess]

enlarge double's the target's size in all dimensions, nott is 3 feet tall, so enlarged nott is just 6 feet tall

[@hermitpurple3224]

6 foot tall goblin

[@KappaKiller108]

That's how Enlarge works. Nott is Small, so she becomes Medium size

[@Exisist5151]

She would also weigh 8 times as much after being enlarged, so even if she’s only 40-70 lbs in her normal form she would weigh 320-560 lbs afterwards.

[@ringo3251]

Laura: "Hey! This guy thinks your his mom." Sam: "That's super duper sad." *Later after Spurt dies* Sam: "My boy! My baby boy!!"

[@firapolemos3879]

"Would you like to follow us towards the light at the end of the tunnel?" Definitely one of the funniest jokes in the entire campaign.

[@dehro]

one of Marisha her best moments ever

[@620n1]

Not to many times you can say that and not be weird

[@amberpdavis]

Unintentional Foreshadowing

[@roz9738]

And easily one of the darkest

[@firapolemos3879]

@@roz9738 That's what makes it so funny

[@Tesoro1996]

He said cobolds live 11 days, he died on eleventh day. He followed Mighty Nein towards the light at the end of the tunnel. He was named Spurt, and his dead very probably sounded exactly like his name.

[@toastedt140]

Spurt did 9 11

[@kominatoriku5483]

kobold

[@alexmohr8135]

so much accidental foreshadowing

[@RoRonsku]

@@alexmohr8135 might've been intentional in some level. i'm pretty sure when he played Shale he wanted her to die too.

[@andreashyldal7423]

Spurt is a fitting name, as it in Danish means sprint aha

[@pebble_highleaf]

Perkins was definitely going for the speed run record for fastest character death.

[@EightThreeEight]

Funny thing is, Spurt was supposed to just be an NPC. Matt brought Chris in basically as a joke.

[@willnelson9906]

@@EightThreeEight so like, what was chris perkins doing on the critical role set? he was just hanging out and matt's like "hey wanna do something funny"

[@starsgears9200]

@@willnelson9906 His Between the Sheets episode was filmed the same day.

[@uhkingdom]

@@starsgears9200 it’s good having cool friends lol

[@bazooka2476]

Whis the first?

[@maiafarinas7189]

god Nott's "MY BOY!" is legitimately heartbreaking

[@queenmarshmallow8013]

@sugarplum isawesome 13:20

[@kuroneko1813]

Oh this aged so well

[@queenmarshmallow8013]

@@kuroneko1813 I don't like the sounds of that

[@kairos4484]

@@kuroneko1813 Like fine wine...

[@KristenWood317]

Even worse when it IS her boy...

[@SaintBigfoot]

Matt announcing Chris coming on is the most excited I’ve ever seen Taliesin.

[@jordanw2009]

Saint Bigfoot because they’re both immortal and this is their disguise for the moment

[@shinyblue4774]

@@jordanw2009 They will ascend sooner than later

[@snuckytoes8427]

@@shinyblue4774 They already have ascended, they simply deign to grace us mere mortals with their presence.

[@John_Doe4269]

His first roll was a 20, his last roll was a 1. He burned like the brightest start in the night sky. Rest in peace, king.

[@VegetaLF7]

He died as he lived. A spurt.

[@WiseSageBum]

The true Alpha and Omega of D&D

[@ryutheslayer123]

I imagine prior to filming this, Chris PErkins went to Matt and said, "I want to be in the next episode for the sole purpose of dying at the earliest possible moment"

[@BornAScout]

Apparently, Spurt was supposed to be an NPC, but Chris stopped by to watch the show that night because he was in town to film "Between the Sheets". And randomly, Matt asked if he wanted to sit in as this kobold. 😂😂 Edit- thanks for the correction!!

[@spencerunknown4428]

@@BornAScout small correction, he was there to film an episode on Critical Roles show "Between the Sheets"

[@Baily16]

I love how at 12:30 you can see Matt thinking: ''Oh shit, he spoke up. Now they actually DO notice him.''

[@TieflingKumasi]

“22 to hit against you.” “Pfft! Okay.”

[@oscarpines7927]

I like to imagine Caleb Widdogast, brooding lord of maddened fire is legitimately losing his shit laughing

[@Never_heart]

Between the "Do you want me follow us to the light at the end of the tunnel?" and the "11 days" jokes the level of self fulfilling prophecy around Spurt was amazing

[@OmegaGuess]

Jester: I love him! Dead IMMEDIATELY after.

[@imperator_productions]

Just like Sprinkle.

[@shinyblue4774]

@@imperator_productions doesn't count if it's just spiritual

[@tjmakes_]

I never noticed Chris’ immediate little wince after the “you’re dead!” 😂

[@themediator0527]

Their eye contact and the immediate wince as Matt goes for the dice is so underrated 😂😂

[@joemono4727]

Every time criss perkins play as a character havocs ensues. We need a permanent campaign with criss as a char

[@GammaAlanna]

Would love to see Shale interact with the M9

[@nikiballerini]

You mean a campaign with Chris as a permanent char 😂

[@davidparkes7741]

@@GammaAlanna Correct me if i'm wrong but didn't Shale also die not long after his Vox Machina encounter?

[@GammaAlanna]

She did according to Chris, and Matt said that was canon, but he then sent in a video as Shale for a one-shot saying something along the lines of - rumours of my death were false. So I think only CP knows if she is still alive any more haha

[@wabschall]

@@GammaAlanna It was one of the tweet vids sent for the wedding

[@jacknewman2793]

i still wake up some nights calling for spurt's name. he's never there.

[@pvic6959]

:'(

[@WiseSageBum]

He's there, there, here, and up there

[@luminariel3765]

A Kobold Artificer is the most terrifying idea ever XD

[@scottbruckner4653]

Imagine an Artillerist who rides their Eldritch cannon?

[@Raptorman0205]

If you play a Kobold Warsmith, you can give yourself near omnipresent advantage on spell attacks while inside or during nighttime with your defender.

[@krogar3156]

As a player that has witnessed a kobold artificer can be fun but not good at memory

[@setoball]

As someone who plays a kobold battle smith, I can tell you it is incredibly fun XD

[@joshuadixon6026]

I made one as a cook, whose iron guardian was a cauldron with legs.

[@smOVERCOMINGITALL]

Whenever Chris comes in it's the most chaotic force of energy to ever exist at a gaming table and i love it.

[@SgtRock-et7zl]

Real Chaos Hours.

[@misterthegeoff9767]

And that's saying something when the table has Sam and Laura already there.

[@AciddDare1314]

Matt said on Talks Machina Spurt was originally just an NPC for them to meet but when Chris asked if he could sit in and watch the show Matt in turn asked if he would like to be a guest. And it turned out PERFECTLY!

[@WireMosasaur]

ELEVEN DAYS! never fails to absolutely KILL me (and spurt, amiright)

[@jordanw2009]

Talisan and Chris have a lot in common. They both before the show were talking about getting to see da Vinci paint the Mona Lisa and what Paris was like before all the ppl moved there and ruined the forest.

[@shinyblue4774]

The Gods have arrived

[@Exisist5151]

Nobody noticed how Spurt said he was gonna assassinate them all with the rot grubs then?

[@mixmastermind]

Fucking Rot Grubs, man. They're terrifying.

[@imirik]

watching this and thinking "This man wrote most of the dnd books i own... and at least had a hand in them all"

[@phoebemoreo191]

i always cry laughing whenever i hear travis in these clips. from the centipault to “Oh god, this is it! Swan song!” it’s just, primo willingham content

[@icymcspicy3467]

The "I point back the way we came about 60 feet" thing is so underrated. Spurt said no words, just pointed back the way they came. One of the funniest things about spurt imo

[@sadrainy]

RIP Spurt, his death was in his name.

[@isobel8821]

I love the editing in this,, the movement isn't too distracting or jumpy, it adds a whole new level of hilarity to the already amazing episode. I also love the little bubbles of the other cast members popping in every so often,, you've caught my attention and I'm off to binge the rest of your videos

[@GammaAlanna]

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[@actually_a_catt]

Yes the editing is pristine ngl

[@jasperdracona]

This and the tiny details that, though I’ve matched this video at least ten times, I’ve only just noticed now. Like when Fjord pauses towards the beginning of trying to enlist Spurt as a guide, he goes “... Spurt” and the word spurs falls out of Travis’ mouth. Perfect, amazing little touch

[@controllerfreak78]

In an alternate timeline, Chris Perkins walked up to the table, beautifully described Spurt’s death from Nott’s sneak attack, and left

[@AlexQuill63]

And the tradition of the CR crew oneshotting potential companions without even noticing their mistake would have continued... xD

[@Killer_Turnip]

We shall always remember loveable Spurt and his friends Stingy, Brother's Murderer, Pepe, and Wasp Gang. 😂

[@ashenwuss1651]

You may have the most "fun" style of editing of all Critters. The numerous "Spurt?" quotes upon name reveal, the cure wounds, and the titling of the equipment used for the centipault... perfect

[@GammaAlanna]

Thank you, that is really kind of you to say :)

[@ashenwuss1651]

@@GammaAlanna Keep up the great work. Stay creative!

[@bleblancw]

I really hope Chris comes back as a kobold that’s a total badass. Just a complete subversion of Spurt but still ridiculous. A rogue/monk/gunslinger(fighter) with near permanent advantage from Pack Tactics is a scary powerhouse, but you’re still this silly little lizard person.

[@hfar_in_the_sky]

Even better: he'll be a high level character...but he'll be level one of every character class.

[@MrUmakemelaff]

@@hfar_in_the_sky That'd be abserd.

[@bkjftribe]

Stephen Pike I understood that reference

[@wizardvozk5874]

Epoch6 When Kobolds die their souls go to the next egg hatched, so maybe it could be a reincarnation of Spurt.

[@Hollyclown]

A Ruin Fighter Kobold.

[@bluechord2928]

the amout of times I quote "my boy! MY BOY!" is unreal

[@GammaAlanna]

Oh my gosh, Same!

[@magiv4205]

Chris Perkins alignment is True Chaotic

[@mazie1874]

“How long have you been down here?” “ELEVEN DAYS!” “How long do kobolds normally live?” “ELEVEN DAYS!” You weren’t wrong buddy RIP Spurt

[@WiseSageBum]

Accidental prophecy

[@lovelyjzb2994]

There was just so much unintentional foreshadowing. I love it

[@giraffedragon6110]

Never had playing the trope straight ever been THIS good.

[@christopherlansdowne1295]

I'm a simple man. I see content of Spurt, and I watch it.

[@tarjah8030]

Same!

[@kezcrider6694]

It's all the same but it never gets old

[@mr.dr.jr.6047]

@@kezcrider6694 I think we all know of someone that will never get old

[@Quadraxis]

Literally 15 minutes of fame. Also, can we take a moment to appreciate Taliesin's nails? Cause they are ON POINT!

[@shinyblue4774]

I know right?! I said that in an earlier chapter of Campaing 2

[@meredithleiss9127]

I was looking for this comment😂. There gorgeous!!

[@EightThreeEight]

20 minutes. Close enough, though.

[@EightThreeEight]

20 minutes. Close enough, though.

[@girth_hirtzberger8541]

"YOU'RE DEAD! I WI-(SPURT!)" -Spurt

[@reposefulcrane4269]

The part that absolutely kills me is the "I win," before immediately being destroyed in the blink of an eye.

[@kinamiya1]

part of me wanted spurt to live to be part of an even weirder next generation A kobold, a kenku, a halfling, a dwarf, and that teenager that beau gave a ninja star

[@jaredwilkinson2679]

No way was it over 40 episodes ago that Spurt both entered and left our lives

[@GammaAlanna]

It was over a year ago now!

[@sandrafunacc1]

@@GammaAlanna Even longer now..

[@eibongrey]

im here from the future to tell you he's still making people cry-laugh with his glory

[@BigChumby]

Current list of dead mighty nein members: Mollauk Spurt

[@Aurora-gs5ch]

Big Chumby and spiritually, sprinkle

[@GZilla311]

Crystal Lotecki And Frumpkin. Repeatedly. If that counts.

[@Clarebear0925]

Ah yes my favorite critical role character, *Molluak*

[@Mr_wisk]

@@Clarebear0925 molly would kill big chumby

[@teniizzboi6794]

Almost forjid

[@SharkyShocker]

I love this because Chris demonstrates the #1 most important skill any player or DM can learn. The acceptance of character death. Maybe on a... less serious note, but I think it's still an important skill to have!

[@noahboucher125]

"I do all the important DM stuff, I do voices and then I die!"

[@LightApawcalypse]

There's a difference between accepting the death of a character you know you're only going to play once and the death of a character that you've been playing for years

[@hamsterfromabove8905]

Chris was there in person for unrelated business. Matt asked Chris if he wanted to join the table and take control of an npc that was planned. Chris was handed a stat-sheet for the Kobold Inventor monster from volo's guide to monsters and was told to have fun with it while it lasted. Quite literally the definition of "here for a good time, not a long time".

[@Captain_Garchomp]

I just love how he wasn't even mad about it, he just loved to be on the show and around the people of Critical Role, that was a true DnD experience

[@MrSHADOWANGEL999]

Spurt, the most appropriately named Kobold ever

[@kerrymadden9832]

spurt came in, rolled a nat 20 and a nat 1, and then died

[@jmercedesd]

Really fantastic editing on this, omg. XD (Also, hearing Fjord's old accent is really frickin' weird now)

[@HyenaFox]

Yeah it is. Apparently, Fjord (not always Travis, unfortunately) canonically says "Eldritch Blast" in the Texan accent every single time he uses it. Also, "I WIN" was one of the funniest moments in CR History.

[@strings1586]

Chris Perkins is a great energy at the table, " *WHERE ELSE IS THERE?!* " had me laughing out loud

[@pinkfoosballtable7875]

wow the Beau having a crush on Jester was PLAYED here. Marisha played it as a joke but BEAU WAS NOT KIDDING HUH.

[@hermitpurple3224]

When

[@CrisSelene]

@@hermitpurple3224 I think they mean all the mistress stuff in the beginning

[@davidparkes7741]

Definitely not. I'm gonna be really surprised if C2 doesn't end with them together. Especially since Jester seems to have moved on from her crush on Fjord.

[@kuropotato8097]

@@davidparkes7741 idk about that. Beau seems to sleep with everyone and has been persistently trying to get with Yasha to this day. I feel like jester deserves better.

[@davidparkes7741]

@@kuropotato8097 I mean yeah sure, Beau's been with Keg, Reani plus others & yeah there is her thing with Yasha. Which lets be honest, is still in that early flirty stage despite the lateness of the overall storyline. Something that obviously can be blamed on Ashley's Blindspot filming schedule of the last few years. As for Jester, "she deserves better" like who exactly? Fjord? Lmao. Her crush on him has always been because of her idolized partner ideals from the romance novels & her overly-sheltered upbringing. After him it's not like she has better options in the Nein, i mean Caleb is still messed up mentally because of his past & what he did under Trent's control to even consider a romance. Cad is well, Cad & Molly is well, ya know. Too soon? I know the biggest obstacle to Beau-Jester becoming a thing is that Jester is "straight" but like, people figure out that they're not exactly straight as adults a lot more often these days. Especially if they had a strictly enforced, solitary childhood like Jester.

[@alientoastt856]

laura's bag of cheetos lasted longer than spurt did but i love him all the same

[@vinnytheyeen]

"You, dead. I WI..." The quickest character death in DnD.

[@dandew1072]

The legend that is Spurt. He lived and died by his namesake. In a spurt.

[@lilyminer9164]

Fjord seems pretty tough, cue him having a nervous breakdown when spurt went splat.

[@2chaskell]

I love how talisan tries to stay in character when spurt dies but when he hears “Gallagher’s spurt” he starts to break 🤣

[@jevanking4768]

Best character ever

[@aceofhearts125]

This whole situation is now made more hilarious by the fact that Chris just happened to be in the studio that day and Matt asked him to come on for a bit part.

[@ignisleo4966]

This experience was like a spontaneous combustion the first time I heard it and it just gets better every time. I love the editing!

[@Smartuur]

He foresaw his own doom, truly the wisest among us all.

[@lilsmammy1387]

The best guest spot Critical Role has ever seen.

[@roseclouds5838]

spurt resurrection 2020

[@jacob67666]

Only one being can defeat Corona, spurt

[@jcprofit]

Spurt is by far one of the funniest characters I have ever seen in a game of d&d

[@MyBrainsOnVacation]

The editing on this is fantastic. I love all the little circles with cast members inside floating around.

[@michaelwolf8690]

"Elevan days!" darkly prophetic.

[@TheMacroSlacker]

That Kobold character depth was appropriately honored

[@RANDOMstuffanimation]

MY BOY! MY BOOOY!

[@TheShreksecution]

There's an alternate universe where the giant missed and Spurt survived to see 12 days

[@canadiangopnik7007]

When the Nein gets to a high enough level, they could resurrect Spurt

[@xanathar8659]

Such an absolutely incredible thing to think of. One of the goddamn heads of Wizards of the Coast appears as a guest with just a normal kobold, throws a wasp nest at a giant and instantly dies. Absolutely my favourite moment of the campaign and just absolute comedy genius.

[@rorydonaldson2794]

The editing on this was superb

[@Pefonmo]

12:55 Everyone's reactions are so good I just keep coming back to watch each individually.

[@setlerking]

sam squinting his eye to simulate the scorpion sting rivals travis holding a thumbs up for 10 minutes straight lol

[@lizs2546]

I love everyone's face when Spurt dies, because its such a great mix of everyone staying in character while simultaneously not being able to stay on character. like, especially at 13:11 to the end, where Fjord, Nott, and Jester are terrified, Beau is like "ew, gross, but neat," and Caleb and Cad are just sort of "yeah, that's pretty much what I was expecting."

[@rachaelpoulin1997]

The editing in this video just makes the whole ordeal even funnier, and really captures the chaotic energy of it!

[@themardbard9096]

It's been so long but I'll always love this little dude. Thank you for memorializing him. 😭💖

[@sumgai848]

. ______ / \ | R.I.P | | Spurt | | 11/11 | | "I WIN!" |

[@liljimmygreen]

“It’s dark down here”made me laugh so hard the first time I heard this.

[@PlagueRunner]

Some choose to live life like a slowly flickering candle but some choose to live life like a rocket ship brief but blinding brilliant

[@lurkr00]

He died as he lived. By yelling he won.

[@jeremyprinzen5954]

*when Spurt joins the group and dies* Me: dies laughing *when Caleb roasts the potential goblin companion* Me in TFS Nappa's voice: SPURT JUNIOR NOOOOOO!!!!

[@jetglo4080]

The candle that burned twice as bright for half as long.

[@iphigenia9779]

I like how they all say, "Spurt??" like it's the villain reveal in a Scooby Doo episode.

[@shimmyking4]

guess he was right, Kobolds DO only live 11 days

[@johnekare8376]

So much premonition in this one as well: Beau's question "Do you want to follow us to the light at the end of the tunnel."; The whole "How long do Kobolds live? - Eleven days!" bit... it''s absolutely glorious.

[@PalleRasmussen]

He looks so happy and radiant at playing.

[@gracecrance7090]

I can’t wait to see **all** of this animated 😂

[@Grim_Sister]

“IM VERY QUIET!”

[@DaxIsAName]

Each and every edit makes this shooting star of a character moment even more magical.

[@katherine4236]

vox machina: we're basically gods mighty nein: distracted by a tiny kobold

[@abrafo1891]

This is the perfect way for a dm to let the pcs know that there is danger!

[@Xulmurk]

I imagine enlarged Nott looks like Rigbys older brother from Regular Show