Star Trek Retro Review: "A Night in Sickbay" (ENT) | Worst Episodes Ever

[@admanios]

Rick Berman: You get the dog decontamination scene done? David Straiton: Sure did boss, real fuckin sexy just like you asked. Rick Berman: what

[@joearnold6881]

This was a b-plot that needed an a-plot

[@KevinMooretoons]

Exactly. It's Worf babysitting Spot stuff -- which was great, but it wasn't the focus of that episode yet made sense within the context of the A plot. Phlox babysitting Porthos could have been a charming side story while Archer contends with hostile aliens.

[@juansanchez209]

I will say this: at least most of Star Trek's bad episodes are still entertaining. From a writing perspective, Spock's Brain is arguably THE worst episode in all of Star Trek, yet it's one of the most entertaining hours of television I can think of. I'll take an amusing trainwreck over mind-numbing boredom any day of the week

[@dw7704]

Except from a writing perspective The Way to Eden is worse. Every regular/recurring character in the episode is written out of character, none of them are the characters we know & love. One of the reasons Spock’s Brain is still watchable, for all its faults, is the characters are in character. It shows how Kirk, McCoy et al would have acted in that scenario. In that respect it’s believable Way to Eden? No.

[@vikrantpulipati1451]

​@Moooooogieno two things go together quite like Cannabis and VOY: Threshold

[@glamourweaver]

You are right about that genre of bad episodes, but Code of Honor is a whole other beast.

[@k1productions87]

From a mind-numbing boredom perspective - "The Alternative Factor" is hands down the worst episode of TOS

[@alanpennie]

​@Moooooogie This is the reason I will defend Threshold. Sure it's ridiculous. But it's ridiculously entertaining.

[@ohnme9557]

One of the lines out of this episode that always tickles my funny bone is when Archer asks Phlox "Will there be anything special I need to know about Porthos with this chameleon pituitary gland?" and Phlox's reply of "You may have trouble finding him when he's frightened." I know those aren't exact quotes but close enough and it's definitely the kind of low brow kind of humor that makes me giggle a little.

[@andrewklang809]

"No, Your Honor, I think I was entirely reasonable burning down my friends' house. You see, my dog died after he ate something at their house, and they were angry that he destroyed a bunch of stuff or something. So he's dead, we're not friends anymore, so I burned their house down. Justifiable arson."

[@SteveShives]

I'm glad somebody gets it.

[@CAP198462]

Is that you John Wick?

[@arthurward2067]

Scott Bakula was effortlessly likeable for 5 years on Quantum Leap, it should have been easy to make Archer likeable, so it must have taken great effort on Berman and Braga's part to make him seem like such an unlikeable dick.

[@ShinGallon]

Scott Bakula is ridiculously charismatic on-screen, and yeah for them to make him as unlikable as he was in this series was quite the accomplishment.

[@josephglatz25]

Well, for the most part, he is very likable. At his best, Archer comes across as the crew's dad. He stays friendly with everyone, he's fairly modest (I know it's from the final episode, but I really like the fact that Archer, the guy who saved Earth and built the Federation doesn't feel comfortable taking credit for it.) I think they just had a lot of stupid plots that they forced him into. Enterprise could have been so much better with the parts they had available, but they just kept misusing them.

[@susanscott8653]

They claimed Archer was a trained diplomat, but he takes his dog on a first contact with a species who have never seen a dog and wouldn't recognize its normal behaviour. Archer should have known better. I know he is the first captain out there, but we have had first contact (between humans) and problems with introduced species on this planet and he should have been written with that knowledge. For the record, I am fond of Enterprise for what it was, and there are some great episodes, but sometimes the characters are written as really dumb.

[@maryqualls5086]

I think a large part of the fan base came for Scott. I know I did. I came for him and then I left after 4 episodes. Then I came back foe him. I stayed for him and then started to like other actors. But I watched this for Scott. And yes, I wasn't a fan of how they treated him. They did him dirty.

[@topogigio7031]

Archer is likeable. You Zoomers just don't understand Humans. Go watch a show for Neanderthals

[@WFierce]

Given how easily Hoshi catches that bat, there's no way Phlox wasn't pranking Archer the whole time to try to distract him from Porthos. He probably released it on purpose.

[@BrianS1981]

Problem with the "Duchess is a pet owner" idea is that he isn't a pet owner he's a starship captain that owns a pet. Because of what he is, he's a military officer, town chief executive, exploratory scientist and a diplomat all rolled into one. And because of all these jobs he should have known damned well that bringing a dog, which is a random element which cannot be controlled, on a diplomatic mission essential to keeping the ship running was A VERY BAD IDEA. Even if nothing went wrong with Porthos (either by getting sick or widdling on sacred trees), it was stupidity of the highest order which should have seen Duchess Archer being stripped off all rank and busted down to Lavatory Cleaner - Worst Class. And I speak as a pet owner who has loved and lost multiple pets. PS his dog getting sick was his own bloody fault for not checking. IIRC the episode itself establishes that the Kreetasans didn't check if Porthos was susceptible to their pathogens because Archer only decided to bring Porthos down on a whim at the very last minute. The dog isn't a member of the crew, it isn't a sentient being brought along as a specialist expert or diplomat, so why should the Kreetasans have checked?

[@firefly4f4]

As a former dog owner and someone who generally likes dogs more than people, 100% agree with this breakdown.

[@ComradePhoenix]

Why do you keep calling Archer "Duchess"?

[@thing_under_the_stairs]

Agreed. If I had to go as leader of an important diplomatic mission, there is no way that I would bring my precious little hellbeast of a cat along, even if it weren't on an alien planet!

[@andrewklang809]

@@ComradePhoenix He may be mixing up his channels. Another popular Trek reviewer, SF Debris, often calls Archer "Duchess".

[@admanios]

@@ComradePhoenix I think it was SFDebris who first dubbed Archer with that appellation.

[@Redmage913]

T’Pol’s silent fleeing from Freudian Archer is the funniest moment so far in this analysis.

[@HopelessHermit]

Oh thank you Steve. Right as I'm sitting down to a drink. Come on, none of you people have had a co worker sex dream involving a funeral fir your dog? This show gets me, man!

[@Prisoner_of_Gravity]

As a dog lover I disagree. I would not take my dog into an environment where there’s a good chance of endangering my dog. Second being a dog owner doesn’t mean you are excused from following local customs. Proving Archer is a A’hole not a diplomat! Third, the idea that is fear of losing his is interrupted by a wet dream is surreal!

[@kevingriffith6011]

This was an episode that desperately could have used a B-Plot. I know it *thinks* it has a B-plot with the negotiations and convincing archer to apologize, but the problem is that both plots are Archer-centric, so they don't 'feel' like different plots. Spending some time with *literally anyone else* would have done this episode a whole lot of good.

[@glamourweaver]

No it had a b-plot. Archer’s dog is sick is a straightforward and perfectly decent concept for a b-plot. The problem is it didn’t have an a-plot.

[@firefly4f4]

Trained diplomat Captain Jonathan Archer decides to take his dog to a planet of people known to be very sensitive about etiquette -- these same aliens finding public eating displays also disgusting as revealed in the episode with the space jizz -- and then acts confused when said aliens are upset when Porthos decides to do as dogs do and waters their grove of sacred trees, and declares at one point that he'll also water said trees from a shuttlecraft if Porthos dies. Trained. Diplomat. Oh, and for some reason a dream about Porthos' funeral turns into a sex dream between Archer and T'Pol. I'm already on record as finding one of those other episodes you mentioned as far worse for it's ethical implications, but this episode definitely deserves it's status as one of the worst for how utterly dumb it is.

[@firefly4f4]

I will admit, though, that the scene with Hoshi casually catching the bat as she enters the room shows just how underutilized she was in the show, and that she's by far one of the most competent people on the ship.

[@formlessone8246]

Yeah, I think this might be a case of where a certain kind of pet owner will sympathize with Archer, but the episode has a reputation among those of us who have dealt with people like Captain Archer and it only gives us another reason to despise him. He already plays behind par compared to other captains because of his naked bigotry against Vulcans, but he also acts like a Karen who doesn't understand why leash laws exist, or why hotels often have designated pet rooms that cost extra, or get offended when they bring their dog uninvited to a private party and don't understand why the host is asking them to leave. It's not that we have a problem with pets or pet owners per say, it's just a matter of knowing where they are unwelcome and getting over it. That's why the dog in the episode is the most sympathetic character, because it's Archer's own fault for getting his pet sick. Data never brought his cat on an away mission because that would be just as dumb and a disaster in the making, and the writers knew that.

[@BrianS1981]

@@firefly4f4 Herself, Reed and Mayweather are consistently the only competent staff amongst the regular characters. They're also the most criminally underused characters.

[@firefly4f4]

Also just for the record, I'm a lover of dogs -- I still miss my childhood dog of 17.5 years, and like most dogs more than I like most people . My issue isn't with Archer being upset because Porthos is sick. My issue is that why in the world would a TRAINED DIPLOMAT -- which the episode emphasizes many times -- take Porthos with him to a planet where he at least should know from past experience that the people they're dealing with are easily offended. As much as I loved my dog, I'm still well aware that she was a dog who wasn't privy to human (let alone alien) etiquette, so if I'm going to someone else's home that I've never visited before I'd ask before I brought her along... and I'm pretty sure that would go doubly if not more so for a trained diplomat.

[@ScottLuvsRenFaires]

Well, if Star Fleet was so concerned with space diplomacy, why did they let Archer command Enterprise at all after he had repeatedly insulted the Vulcan ambassador to his face? STE should really have been called Tom Swift and his Warp Drive because that is pretty much what it is, not some kind of logical roadmap to our future in space.

[@RaggedVentures]

Apparently I'd repressed a good portion of this episode. I thought, "What was bad about the episode where Porthos was being treated in sickbay?" Oh, yeah, the whole rest of the episode.

[@DominionofGod]

I agree, for the most part, with steve's view of this. The over all idea, of a man out of focus over his pet, is a solid one. At least to anyone with basic empathy... Sadly, there are those ppl out there that dont even view any animals as sentient life, much less something to care about. And those kinds would not be able to understand this episode much. - But Archer had always been portrayed as a sympathetic and empathetic man. Someone that would have that kind of response. Add in that he has no wife or kids or close family that we know of (or that i recall at least), then some of that can be transferred to the pet; on top of what he would have normally had for the dog. So the idea that his closest.. friend? Companion?.. w/e you want to call it.. was dieing, sending him mind on a loop, unable to sleep, unable to think clearly, is perfectly believable. - In fact, iv had many similar times myself. One that comes to mind, a good example of how strong those issues can be on the mind, involved my ever so slight mistake with a table saw and two of my fingers. You can probably imagine where story goes. To the ER. But after that i suddenly noticed a new tick in my brain. Any time i heard a saw blade going, my mind/body would recoil in fear. That was new. I was unable to use a saw from the fear in my brain. Which makes sense. Brain connects the saw and the trauma and is trying to protect me. I actually had to get someone else to cut my last bit of stuff for me. Despite all the logic in the world, it would not over come that mental tick. Whats worse then that is what cause me to finally begin over coming it. My animals. I had a cage of 7 critters. 2 mommas and there 5 daughters (same father). They were my first family that started my adventure with the whole species. So they had a special place in my heart. Until one day, out of the blue, i came down and noticed one had been dead, one had just recently died, and one girl was taking her last breaths.... Needless to say, yea, i understand the whole sleepless nights, lack of focus, lack of giving a damn about anything else. In fact, i became so numb, that it even topped my mental tick of the saw. Since i had no clue what caused this and couldnt get a vet at the time, i at least went to completely change there cage. Which included new wooden items. To do that, i had to cut the wood up to what i needed. And i was so numb that when i went to cut the wood, the tick suddenly wasnt there. The logical side realized that, and even realizing that.. it was still gone. The numbness from losing three of my critters overwhelmed something that deep rooted in my brain. Thats pretty damn strong. And that doesnt even take into account that archer could logically fault that alien species for putting his dog in that position. So yea... i find archers issues completely understandable. Not even a stretch there. One last thing on that note; that night of numbness for me... once the cage was done, it really felt like one endless pointless night of random crap with no purpose or meaning. Thats kind of the mindset when your that numb. So in essence, the episode actually actually captured that feeling perfectly.- One could also say that little sub mental plot of that even if archer felt he was both right and in the right... putting his ego and pride aside would yield better results for him and his crew (And ship). And especially since they are the only earth ship out there; its better to have a friend then an enemy. - Even tho that would be a small bit of the show, a notable one imo.

[@Faction.Paradox]

I'd love to have been in the writer's room when this was pitched, no idea how you sell putting a bath mat on your lead's head while he chainsaws a log

[@Talisguy]

I want to know what Bakula was thinking during filming. If I were him, I'd have wondered if the writers were pranking me.

[@susanscott8653]

​@@Talisguywaste of a terrific actor. 🙄

[@aidan4252]

I have to disagree with the idea that Archer's tantrum is justified. It's not that it's unrealistic in a general sense but it's really bad for his character. Letting a situation where he's very clearly in the wrong almost boil over like that because he's worried about his dog just makes him feel stunningly immature for a guy who commands the firepower to destroy cities. I think a better episode would have given him a slightly more ambiguous situation to be stubborn over. If we could see how he's being colored by his personal feelings but there's still some underlying logic to his decisions I think it would have worked much better.

[@andrewklang809]

The episode would have worked better without the Cretassans. Just make it a bottle show about Archer succumbing to stress over the potential loss of Porthos, unresolved sexual tension with T'Pol, general sexual tension having been away without shore leave and even a casual fling, and the even more general stress of his job and the enormous responsibilities wearing on him. Making it a personal and inter-personal conflict would have been far more understandable an issue and more focused an episode, without bringing in an entirely unnecessary diplomatic incident that REQUIRES everyone to be at their best. Archer the human can inspire empathy. But this episode is character assassination of Archer the Starfleet officer.

[@Charmolution]

@@andrewklang809 This episode would have worked better without Archer. And T'Pol. And the aliens. Basically, just 45 minutes of a dog sleeping would have been better than this.

[@RenaDeles]

As a pet owner and lover, Archer being emotional after his dog is sick and dying? Totally get that hypothetically. It's how clear the hand of the writers are in how we ended up here, because as presented he was a *bad owner* in the first place bringing his dog down without thoroughly checking it was safe for him. Add in how bad he is being at his job bringing his dog, causing an incident, then throwing a tantrum about the situation *he* put his dog in it makes me have no sympathy. The writers couldn't think of a way to kick this off that didn't make Archer look horrible. It's the equivalent of insisting to feed your dog something from a new to you culture, doing zero research on what's in the food, then blaming others when whoops it had chocolate in it and the other person didn't know that was deadly for dogs. Think up a good reason Porthos had to be on the planet, maybe the whole ship is stuck docked planet side while they get the new part, and then I'm back on Archer's side even if you keep him being foolish enough to not stop his dog from peeing on random trees when you *know* how sacred trees are on that world.

[@ShikiKiryu]

Ah yes, the episode where it's implied Archer has suppressed sexual feelings towards his dog that manifest as rage-boners towards his XO who he wet dreams about, totally appropriate for daytime telly! They even stuck the alleged 'steamy aspect' in this episode's commercials!

[@ninjabum2040]

Writers really had Porthos contract dog AIDS as a vehicle for airing how swollen Archer's blue balls are.

[@rog2224]

Weirdly, it reminded me of the churning awfulness of the watches of the night in a hospital while a loved one is ill. It's a liminal space in which people are both at their worst and their best, at least in my experience.

[@francoislacombe9071]

".... leaving the rest of the episode to feel like a very, very long night." Maybe that was on purpose. They wanted to make the night in sickbay feel as long to us as it must have felt to Archer. 😉

[@thatcanadianguy07]

It's also important to note that at this point in the show, Archer is still pretty arrogant and a bit resentful when it comes to his mission. It's not until the Xindi Arc that he starts to realize how in over his head he really is. Season 4 Archer is arguably his best form, but Season 1 and 2 Archer was arrogant, prideful, resentful and desperate to have his place in the universe. He made a lot of bad decisions. The Xindi Arc brought the character to his breaking point and humbled him.

[@helpmenaomi]

"Ask 10 different fans and you're likely to get 10 different answers" no sir. You'll get like 15-27 different answers because everyone will say something like 'it's between this or that, oh yeah but then there's this one, ugh do I have to name just one?"

[@helpmenaomi]

Overall I agree (not that you need my validation). The episode itself wasn't horrible, the premise was okay, but trying to insinuate any sort of sexual tension with T'Pol was out of left field and, really, quite gross. As a woman, my feelings probably differ slightly from yours, but I'm really sick and tired of so many female characters not being allowed to just be good characters in their own right and instead they always have to get pushed into some relationship (not saying that relationships wouldn't/couldn't happen, but my goodness EVERY time? And always for what? Not for the character).

[@Femo-ok]

At least this episode did not had anything to do with the temporal cold war.

[@KariIzumi1]

That's it's only saving grace

[@deciusaemilius]

I think part of why I feel Archer comes across so badly here is not that his reaction isn't understandable. It's that he's the damn captain and is supposed to be able to do what is best for the ship, and here he comes across as risking the ship because of his dog. It's just a bad LOOK for a guy who is already written in a very variable manner. I get losing a pet. But I think Phlox and Hoshi needed to spend more time focusing on Archer-as-captain with more of a "dude, think of the SHIP here" approach. Developing the idea that Archer is a human and a captain and these things are in tension. That would have been a lot better than the sex stuff, because we'd have the chance to see Archer develop as a character in interesting ways.

[@SteveShives]

Part of the problem might be that Archer's interactions with other characters in the episode are almost totally limited to Phlox, with just a little bit of T'Pol, Hoshi, and a few lines with Trip left over. Phlox is focused on treating Porthos and, for some reason, trying to shrink Archer regarding his attraction to T'Pol, Hoshi is just there to deliver exposition, and T'Pol brings up the "think of the ship" thing once or twice, but never in a very sympathetic way. Maybe the episode could have been helped if there was another interaction with Trip, his best friend, that didn't revolve around "We need that plasma injector" and was instead Trip talking to Archer as a friend. "I know you love Porthos, I understand how you feel, I'd probably feel the same way, but you need to remember that you're the captain of this ship and do the right thing for the people under your command." Probably wouldn't have saved the episode, but it might have helped.

[@Charmolution]

Remember when Data's shuttle blew up and Picard thought he was dead? He had emotions that he was keeping just below the surface, but still did his goddamn job. Then, when Geordi was neglecting his duties because of his need to investigate what happened, he told him to do his goddamn job, too. Not because he wasn't upset. But because he's a goddamn professional. And Data was his friend, comrade, and most importantly, an actual person and not a freaking dog. And he still managed to not act like Duchess here. Then again, Picard likely wasn't screwing Data which would have caused him to become sexually frustrated when he was cut off from him, so I guess that's the big difference between these two scenarios.

[@Oonagh72]

The problem is that this wasn’t a vacation. They were on a business trip. Why would that idiot take his fucking dog? Then he is mad at them for HIS mistake. That is why it isn’t ok that he isn’t getting a part the whole ship needs because he doesn’t want to apologize. On top of that he doesn’t need them to save the dog. He could apologize, get the part, look after the dog. The end. This is especially stupid because he doesn’t know if they may need to get somewhere real fast to save the dog, so maybe get that part so you can go.

[@michaelsinger4638]

They were in a diplomatic mission to a race that they ALREADY KNEW were easily offended (they had met this group in a previous episode). Archer bringing his freaking dog along was just monumentally stupid.

[@Talisguy]

Yeah, and Archer already knew these people had extremely strict etiquette because he'd dealt with them before (and had also been a petty asshole there - his apology was so obviously insincere that Mayweather had to smooth things over for him with a genuine apology, so he can't even be bothered to hide his contempt for their society's rules.)

[@andrewklang809]

A man who would sooner blame someone else for his own actions (unnecessarily bringing a dog onto a strange world) and risk escalating the matter because of his own hangups has NO BUSINESS engaging in diplomacy.

[@John73John]

Thanks for reminding me that this episode exists. I had managed to completely forget about it. As far as other candidates for "worse Enterprise episode" are concerned, I'm surprised that the one where Trip got pregnant by sticking his hands in a bowl of marbles with an alien girl wasn't in the running. Enterprise was weird...

[@KariIzumi1]

TBH, ENT fans tend to go easy on bad Tucker episodes because he's by and large the fandom pet. It was even worse when the show was airing 💀 For my money, the one that should get more skewering is Previous Cargo, where he rescues a princess that Enterprise was unwittingly transporting for an arranged marriage and was supposed to be a romantic comedy, but was otherwise not funny. By Brannon Braga's own admission, he was so embarrassed by this one, he supposedly asked the studio if they could just skip thatbweek instead. And given he still stands by Threshold that's saying a lot. If there was ever an underrated bad episode of Star Trek, it's that one (and arguably Congenitor, but for all its stumbles it was trying to say something profound, I just don't think know homophobe and sexism Berman was the right guy for the job

[@BCBaron]

As far as I'm concerned, a very strong contender for worst episode was the one which pretty much focused entirely on Hoshi's transporter phobia. As lovely as she is, the whole thing just ended up being a disappointing fake out and felt like a major waste of time. Call me crazy, but I'd much rather watch Archer worry about his dog or Trip eat for two than spend an entire hour dealing with Hoshi's insecurities.

[@st.anselmsfire3547]

The biggest issue here was Berman and Braga trying to make their hero "flawed" in a way that made him seem petty rather than human. The nuts and bolts of his issue make total sense. The execution was a mess, though. Humanizing our heroes was a great idea, as it worked great on DS9 and created a solid episode with some great performances on TNG with "Family." This one? It just didn't work.

[@UkyoSensuke]

I think I like this episode for one of those reasons people dislike it. Too often with protagonists like Picard, he is much more measured than I would be. He acts in a way I wouldn't act. Archer here is 1000% me: Screw those guys. They. Hurt. My. Dog!

[@dw7704]

Hey, at least he didn’t go all John Wick on them

[@jlworrad]

In theory I like the idea of a Trek episode that slows down a bit and is very character driven. But if you’re gonna do that you really have to put the work in.

[@alanpennie]

The problem is that the Enterprise characters weren't all that strong.

[@jlworrad]

@@alanpennie an episode like this with DS9 would have been a lot better.

[@ericjome7284]

Your academic analysis was excellent as usual.

[@Rocketboy1313]

My issue is that this episode is a bunch of dithering nonsense. Why is there no looming threat other than, "our ride will likely breakdown"? Have it that the Enterprise was dead in space and was towed to the planet, now they are stuck and having to kowtow, but then you have a pet who is sick, and then shit gets worse. Oh hey let's throw in another plot, other people are sick from being on the planet and it starts to "naked now" the whole situation, the twist being that by treating the dog they uncover a cure for the condition but because the ship is so operationally compromised the cure is not going to be easily manufactured without killing the dog. Because the sickness is causing the Captain to be angry and horny he has to see how his emotions are being distorted so that he can do diplomacy, save the ship and save his dog while other people say that he may have to sacrifice his pet to save the crew and then do diplomacy and save the ship. That is a plot, with stakes and a moral conundrum. It is resolved by talking it out with T'Pol who being a logical person understands how she can be attractive, how the Captain can be sentimental, and how he can be prideful, but by talking things out the Captain gets perspective and can do diplomacy to secure the operations of the ship and then the cure can be made and distributed without killing the dog. You know, a plot, with a character arc that evolves how the characters relate to one another in the context of who they are.

[@ZuluRomeo]

This episode was nominated for a Hugo. A HUGO.

[@Sorchanyan]

Of course this would be a Rick Berman joint. I’ve never regretted abandoning this show after season 1.

[@1monki]

This episode helped to keep Roddenberry's vision of a sexy future for mankind alive. As many ENT episodes tried to do.

[@TheMetrored]

I get it. I've seen John Wick

[@kurathchibicrystalkitty5146]

When I first heard about the plot of this episode, I genuinely thought it was a joke. I was all, "You can't be serious. There's contrived, and then there's 'people acting colossally asinine because the writers require them to be' levels of contrived." What kind of Starfleet captain takes their dog on an away mission, no matter how dangerous, nevermind without checking to see if there's any potentially harmful bacteria/diseases? It just makes Archer look like a total *tries to think of an entertaining insult* doofus-hat, on top of being racist against Vulcans, acting more like an entitled tourist rather than someone who's supposed to be 'exploring strange new worlds' while keeping hundreds of people safe every day, and overall a deeply unpleasant person to watch. I think one of the core problems is that, if this episode was a rare occurrence for Archer to be rude and grumpy and annoyed at everyone, then it would better imply that, oh, there's something wrong here, oh, Porthos might die, okay, that makes sense. But since he's so often like this, it's hard to distinguish between 'Archer being a jerk as usual' and 'Archer is worried about his beloved pet'. But, that's just what I think. Then there's.....the decontamination booths. Appealing to the sex-obsessed teenagers/adults to get them to watch Star Trek? That's the only twisted logic I can come up with. Anyway, I've had more than enough ranting about Enterprise for one day.

[@KariIzumi1]

You nailed it. If this was coming from Picard or Sisko or even Janeway for all that she gets accused of eradic behavior, we could shrug it off because at their baseline, all of them are capable and able to put aside their emotions and get the job done. Hell, I know it's a running joke that the DSC crew has to stop the world to spill their guts, but if they couldn't do that, can anyone see Burnham making that her crew's issue the way Archer does here? Hell, Freeman is by far most fly-off-the-handle captain in canon and even her blowing up at Mariner in season 3 was three seasons and at least five demotions across a decade of service in the making and came from an understandable place. The decon chamber...God, what can even be said that hasn't already been said over the last twenty years on that? I'm just glad Trek ladies in the current shows are all written as characters first and sex appeal is incidental to that and not the main draw that creators typing with one hand insult the fandom into thinking will keep fans entertained.

[@jlworrad]

The dog should have died. What? The episode clearly needs drama!

[@SteveShives]

Porthos dies in surgery; Phlox immediately takes back the pituitary gland and returns it to the space chameleon, which survives; Archer adopts the space chameleon.

[@jlworrad]

@@SteveShives Perfect! There’s far more ongoing story potential with a space chameleon.

[@corrinebraudrick7005]

I absolutely loved the awkward sexual conversation bit. I really enjoy Steve's opinion on Trek but I especially love the timing and scripting and quality of his videos. Steve's videos get me to laugh out loud more than any other creator.

[@lindseyfaelan8339]

Looking forward to that "these are the voyagers" vid. that episode never sat well with me. Love your content its so fun to be taken back to these episodes, especially the DS9 ones.

[@gogreen7794]

That episode is not an "Enterprise" episode. It's a belated TNG episode with a plot using ANOTHER malfunctioning holodeck on the Enterprise D.

[@ricconway8719]

I like this episode, and Enterprise in general. Not great, but far from the worst in the run. Another great video. Thanks, Steve!

[@chrisclee6693]

Personally I found this episode showed an incredibly human side of Archer. I'm more of a cat person myself but I totally appreciate the desire to destroy everyone.

[@MalzraAirwynn]

I haven't watched Enterprise or this episode, but from the description it sounds like the problem is they took a decent B-plot idea and stretched it out to fill the whole episode.

[@emilybell7842]

As a dog owner, unless you totally suck, you absolutely get used to apologizing for your dog acting like a dog when you bring it into non-dog spaces. "Aw, man, I'm sorry the puppy peed on your tree" is a perfectly reasonable thing to say. Still, any episode with Porthos is better than an episode without him.

[@normalgraham]

Archer wasn't behaving inconsistently. He was always a short-sighted, idiotic coward, at least from all the episodes I've seen

[@icarusavery5691]

My take on it is, like... This is a very understandable and reasonable reaction from someone who isn't the captain of a major military vessel. It's entirely unreasonable from the captain of the Enterprise.

[@randomhank]

If there's a canid involved, Random Hank will always approve And in everyone's defense, in the words of my ex (literally her words when she called me while I was watching ENT 4x6) "T'pol's f**kin hot!"

[@lunatickoala]

Are there people who would act like Archer in a similar situation, namely that a beloved pet is in mortal danger? Sure, there are plenty. There are also plenty of people who are that petulant and short tempered and unprofessional normally. There are people who've been through worse and maintained a level of professionalism. There are people who recognize that they're unable to function effectively in such a situation and take time off to deal with their issues. But it really doesn't speak well of Starfleet as an organization if they put someone that unprofessional in charge of such a monumental mission, and it definite doesn't speak well of Archer if he falls apart that badly. The fact that they have a decontamination room means that alien pathogens is a known risk. Archer took that risk in bringing his dog planetside, but doesn't take any accountability for his own actions. The situation is not an excuse for Archer being an unprofessional dick.

[@kevingriffith6011]

7:46 The space chameleon, however, did not survive the procedure.

[@benjiskyler7836]

Annoyingly repetitive, indeed, especially since this episode marks the second time in like a month they've unknowingly pissed off the Kretassens. That time it was because they consider eating, like mating, to be something done in private. That gets smoothed over with Travis saying, "Yeah, we're totally sorry about that, so can you please tell us how to get rid of the space spider that's got our crewmembers in its web...and how many alien characters have you now played, Admiral Forrest?"

[@laikapupkino1767]

I find Dr. Phlox so appealingly quirky + charming I don't CAREk if it's a bad episode. I think he was meant to represent Gene Roddenberry

[@KassFireborn]

Is Dear Doctor getting saved for the Horrifically Wrong Takes on Evolution series? (Genesis is my TNG pick there, but let's not pretend there aren't options.)

[@jargoggle]

im so glad i found your channel. my favorite star trek vids on youtube

[@michaelsinger4638]

This episode sums up everything that was wrong with Enterprise in it’s first two seasons. And Archet is SO UNLIKEABLE here. He is just the most whiny, petulant, stubborn man child.

[@KariIzumi1]

If not for the finale coming in with a photo finish to win the Worst ENT Episode Olympics, ANISB would've easily been the fandom's "Shades of Gray" and it's not even close. Like, I love dogs and if this was a new species they'd never dealt with, Archer's anger could've been justified. But he knows damn good and well how they are and no one put a gun to his head to force him to bring his dog into outer space. TIIC trying in vain to make fetch happen between Archer and T'Pol deserves no further comment, but suffice it to say I'm glad Scott Bakula supposedly put an end to that nonsense.

[@dm121984]

The 'my dog is sick' aspect of the episode makes Archer a prompus arse because they've meet this species before, know they are sensitive jerks, and still thought "I know, I'll bring my dog on a mission to meet these up tight dicks". They probably didn't know that the dog would get sick because they didn't think he'd be stupid enough to bring an animal along. Personally, I hate Dear Doctor anymore because it's portrays Phlox and Archer as a mix of stupid and evil and acts like that's somehow moral.

[@baosia]

Honestly, I had forgotten about this episode until just now... And I probably will forget it again in two to three days when my working memory is filled with other muck. But wake me up from deep sleep with the words "It's been a long while..." and I'll sing faith of the heart full of flaws through my cpap

[@veritecma]

This question doesn’t really have much to do with this episode or Enterprise but I’m just curious. In the first of the the new star trek movies when Kirk meets Scotty for the first time in that ice planet… Am I crazy or did Scotty mention something about “using the transporter on Captain Archer priced beagle” and then not knowing what happened to him after that? Is it possible he’s referring to Portos?

[@TheDarthEddie]

To me "Precious Cargo" is the nadir of ENT except for the finale, but this one - sigh. When the acronym for your episode is "ANiS" you're already not off to the most promising start.

[@lasseehrenreich5502]

The captain refusing to apologize for his dog peeing on somebody's property - I have had dogs since I was 7 - and I would always apologize for that. How anybody thought that was a good idea for an episode is one of the greatest mysteries of the universe alongside the Star wars holiday special or whether or not Ben Shapiro's brain was stolen from him or he was just born without one.

[@punkinholler]

Well, in its favor, this is the episode that made me realize that I, a lifelong dog disliker, find beagles to be adorable.

[@KariIzumi1]

I had one myself and they are sweet dogs. He learned how to sit up for things he wanted like walks or snacks or even for us to let him say hi to our neighbor's dog when she was in heat (men could learn from that last one haha) and he'd tilt his head when he was curious about something. Great doggo, 100/10, would recommend. Just a pro tip but they are hugely food motivated dogs that will eat you out of house and home like a high school varsity football team, so a strict measuring of calories is a must :p

[@billberndtson]

07:35 "... middle aged man." 🤣🤣🤣 This killed me for some reason.

[@rafaelsays175]

This episode is one of my guilty pleasures. Phlox's sickbay shenanigans always cracks me up and Archer's annoyance at everything is fun.

[@alexei141]

I always knew Steve would get around to the best possible category of all Star Trek serials: Voyager's Fair Haven episodes.

[@firefly4f4]

Oh good lord those episodes are so boring they give "Threshold" a run for its money as worst Voyager episode. The ONLY "good" that came out of them is showcasing how absolutely psychotic Janeway was to the audience -- not the crew, of course -- with the "Delete the wife" comment and her being willing to sacrifice members of her crew rather than risk shutting down what is essentially a malfunctioning video game

[@sonyakinsey4376]

Archer's behavior isn't reasonable because he's the captain of an entire starship and it's crew. It's a job that requires objectivity and the ability to compartmentalize your feeling from your duties. He can be sad about his dog, but not at the expense of his work. He comes across as one of those tourists who take photos of sacred sites or deface them with graffiti, and are indignant when local authorities fine them. I loved my horse, but if I left the gate open and he ran out onto the road, and got hurt, that is on me.

[@andrewklang809]

Absolutely. The episode isn't terrible because we see Archer acting less-than-professional (or as much as he ever does) because he has something very emotional distracting him, it's terrible because he's acting so ridiculously sensitive and snippy BECAUSE he's letting that emotional issue distract him. He could, and should have, easily done one of two things: 1. If he believes/recognizes that his judgement, objectivity, or focus are compromised, temporarily turn command over to T'Pol until the issue with Porthos is resolved. 2. If he thinks that would be unprofessional and is going too far, and that it's important that he remain in command during a diplomatic issue, AT LEAST follow the advice of his senior officers without yelling at them every time they tell him to do something he doesn't feel like doing. If he either A) doesn't realize that he is emotionally compromised, or B) doesn't care, then he's being a terrible commander, does not deserve his position (which should have been clear early in the first season, FWIW), or doesn't deserve the respect of his crew. It's not a bad thing to feel fear or pain at the thought of losing someone he loves, but it's a VERY bad thing to let that anxiety get in the way of his job, when so many others are depending on him to do his job well. He has tremendous responsibility, and throughout this episode, he's acting wildly selfishly and irresponsibly, like a petulant child. Archer is a terribly-written character played by an actor we in the audience want to like. Bakula was poor casting for this kind of whiny, spiteful, paranoid man (someone like Steve Buscemi or Paul Giamatti would have killed it, though), but if we are supposed to like Jonathan Archer and view him as a good captain, the character never should have been written that way to begin with.

[@wmlau69]

I missed this episode. I guess I don’t need to search for it on streaming.

[@strikerrey6016]

This is probably splitting hairs but 3:40 You said she gives up and leaves which is accurate if you mean she gives up on the conversation but it sounds like you insinuated she gave up on trying to one up him on the treadmill.. which would be crazy considering how an average vulcan can run much faster and much longer than even the top human athletes... but go on

[@stephanpfuetze1085]

This is an episode in dire need of a B-plot. If we focused on something else with other characters for about a third of the runtime, then it would feel less padded and repetitive.

[@TheDeadlyShoe]

IMO this episode got its reputation not because it was the worst thing ever... but rather because its when a lot of people simply gave up on ENT. It was a boring bottle episode that was also kind of gross and blatantly grasping, and viewers just checked out.

[@alanpennie]

Makes sense. There's a fun kind of badness (like in Spock's Brain and Threshold) and there's the kind that's just kinda off-putting so that viewers begin to think they'd be happier if they just stopped watching the show.

[@Mallory-Malkovich]

_Enterpise_ always seemed like the middle school play version of _Star Trek._ All the elements are there, but they're delivered in the slowest, least interesting way possible by characters that have no chemistry with each other.

[@alanpennie]

It's commendable that B&B tried new things with this show. They weren't just recycling TNG like they did with Voyager. Unfortunately the new things were often a tad dull, which may have been the reason they hadn't done them before.

[@davidpumpkinsjr.5108]

I love that bit where Archer and Phlox as tripping over themselves to cat the vat and Hoshi just walks in and plucks it out of the air like it's nothing.

[@davidcolby167]

I dunno, I kinda expect a starship captain to be better at handling his dog dying than me.

[@uosdwiSrdewoH]

As someone who has had multiple pet dogs, cats, birds, rabbits etc. I understand Archer being concerned about Porthos. However I also think he made a huge error taking Porthos on the mission in the first place. Not only is he a bad pet owner he's a bad captain. He's putting everyone on his ship in a bad situation because he took his dog down to a planet without knowing if it was safe to do so. We don't see it but imagine what they're thinking when they hear the ship may be unable to continue because their boss decided his dog took priority over their well being. I would never take any of my pets to a place I hadn't thoroughly checked out first. They rely on our good judgement to keep them safe and Archer failed in that regard because...why? Maybe he thought Porthos shouldn't be stuck on the ship. Then why did you bring him on a mission with no way of knowing how often he'd be able to go down to a planet? Not to mention the danger of simply being in space. No matter how I look at it Archer created the problem and more than likely his guilt was what was keeping him from apologising because he knew it was his fault but couldn't admit it and that's not a good trait for a diplomat, captain or pet owner.

[@johnchedsey1306]

I never had strong opinion about this episode and never thought of it as a "worst" episode ever. But I fully agree that it has a bit too much padding. It probably was a good 22 minute sitcom at its core and then had to be doubled up.

[@KariIzumi1]

I admit it never dawned on me that this episode might have been improved if there was a distinct B-plot that was completely separate from Archer's bullshit to at least take the focus off of his mewling for a bit

[@tacicub]

An annoyance I had with this episode was that Phlox kept referring to Porthos as having an "auto-immune system". The proper term (at least for earth life) is immune system. Auto-immune refers to conditions like multiple sclerosis or lupus, where immune cells mistakenly attack healthy tissue.

[@SavageGreywolf]

Stigma bears mentioning in bad Enterprise episodes. Its moral is about a decade too late, its B plot is ironically uncomfortable creeping by Phlox and his wife at Tucker's expense, and the fact that T'pol has mind meld AIDS is basically never brought up again.

[@tgbotg]

It made me think perhaps Denobulans don't understand human social dynamics, and Phlox was talking about of his ... bum when it came to the sexual tension between Archer and T'Pol.

[@piltdownfilms]

I think the reason this episode rubs me the wrong way so much is that it highlights how xenophobic Archer is. It's not confined to this episode, this episode just highlights this aspect of his personality. That Starfleet would send out someone who is so xenophobic to be leading Earths first contact missions is baffling. (And it's not like they don't know, how many conversations does he have with Admiral what's his name about how much he dislikes Vulcans?)

[@bakomusha]

Enterprise had the most proven and talented cast of any of the series till Disco, and this is how they waste it. With padding, repetition, and a weird amount of American jingoism. I agree this episode isn't among the worst of Trek, it's not even close to being the worst of ENT, but the thing is it's an average episode of ENT. Average ENT is dull, repetitive with maybe one or two good moments. That to me is the biggest failing of ENT is it's waste of premise and talent. Granted it was not nearly as much of a waist as VOY was on premise. Then when it turns around and gets good it ends with a spit in the face of the amazing cast.

[@jonahfalcon1970]

Sorry, I've owned pets, and I'd have NEVER behaved this way. Did Clinton ever bring Socks to a function?

[@ranuelthebard3751]

You have to love that the very first holodeck episode was also the very first holodeck malfunction episode.

[@lostbutfreesoul]

For me it is: Does it fit the character? Now... think on what you know of Archer.

[@GeeVanderplas]

You should have saved this one for a list of horniest Trek episodes! 😂

[@KariIzumi1]

I see the vision, but TBH, ENT has some way better contenders for that title, like the Ponn Farr one and that Orion one that Lower Decks has managed to build not one but two (and counting) episodes expanding from that lore

[@Robert-hz9bj]

Here's the problem with the whole "you'd be worried about your pet too!" argument: I am not tbe one who has the lives of dozens of people and the possible relationship between two planets on my shoulders! Yeah, I'd be completely unbearable if something happened to my dog. Hell, I might not be able to function for days. That's why I am not the captain of a starship. You should not be put in charge of something important if you are the kind of person that can't keep it together during personal tragedy. Combat officers are expected to carry on in the face of their subordinates getting blown to pieces in the middle of a warzone. And Jonathan "Trained Diplomat" Archer here is falling to pieces because he was stupid enough to bring his dog with him on a fucking diplomatic mission with a newly contacted species. This episode REALLY hammers home the fact that Archer should never have been put in charge of anything. For contrast: Sisko is able to carry on with his job despite the fact that doing so meant arresting the woman he ended up marrying. And Picard was able to pull himself together to send his girlfriend on a mission that had a high probability of killing her. And Janeway sent people she cared about on pointless, foolhardy missions that might kill them all the fucking time!

[@gkarenko9593]

When I saw this episode, my first thought was: Why would they take a dog to an alien planet?

[@delucain]

I still can't get over the intro theme to Enterprise. I haven't managed to watch more than two episodes because I just can't stand the song. I know I can skip it, but 3 seconds of it makes me want to scream. It's so terrible.

[@danwilberding7057]

I might act unreasonably if my pet was sick. I’m also not a highly-trained military officer in charge of one of the most historically significant missions in human history; who is also ostensibly trained in diplomacy, on whom hundreds of his crew depend on his sound judgment for their very survival. We can have flawed, nuanced, character-driven writing without making us wonder how this idiot ever got his job.

[@jackalovski1]

This episode reminds me of the somewhat infamous episode of breaking bad called “fly” where Walter spends the whole episode obsessing over a fly in the lab that he can’t get rid of. Regarded as breaking bad’s worst episode I think it’s way better than this and gets the hate because it’s a departure from the norm of the series and more of an artistic character piece. But this episode of enterprise, one of the few I actually watched, feels very much in keeping with what I expected from enterprise. Dumbasses in space getting themselves in trouble with gratuitous nudity.

[@thing_under_the_stairs]

I'm of the opinion that "Fly" was a fantastic bottle episode character study, and just the ease from the tension that had growing almost unbearable to that point. It also illustrated pretty well just how badly Walter was losing his grip, and how much Jesse was maturing. The difference between that one and this hot mess was that it was (as with most of BB) extremely well written, acted, and filmed, which I can't much say for Night in Sick Bay, at least as far as the writing goes. The acting is okay, but even great actors can't do much with a crap script.

[@fredrikcarlstedt393]

Ah, the torrid love affair between a pinkskin and his dog .

[@StevenFeldleit]

Porthos beautiful beagle

[@KariIzumi1]

My family got a beagle because my brother wanted one after that Cats vs Dogs movie but I knew dogs could eat cheese cuz of this show

[@NineWorldsFromDrew]

11:25 - It sounds like, in Steve’s opinion, it’s been a long road, getting from there to here #sorrynotsorry 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@wurdnurd1]

Have I ever seen an episode of this show? Nope. Did I watch this video because there was a dog in the thumbnail? Yup.

[@BCBaron]

Been a while since I watched this episode, so I don't remember all the little details perfectly. Nevertheless, I thought it was heavily implied that along with worrying about Porthos, part of the reason Archer was so grumpy had to do with sleep deprivation/insomnia. I'd have to go back and re-check the order of events, but I was under the impression that Archer's dream sequences didn't include T'Pol until after Phlox put the idea of latent attraction in his head.

[@lennierofthethirdfaneofchu7286]

Fair enough. Not doing the actual Worst Episode Ever because you're going to do it ("These Are the Voyages...") at a later time. "A Night in Sickbay" is subpar for the reasons you sated; it _really_ needed a B-plot to stretch out the run time.

[@joearnold6881]

More like it was a b-plot that needed an A-plot

[@sunnijo]

This is the episode that made me rage quit Enterprise, and I still haven’t come back to it years later. Edit: I was already fed up with how idiotic Archer was in previous episodes. I couldn’t suspend my disbelief anymore that this was the guy chosen to represent humanity to the rest of the galaxy. Honestly, the whole crew makes terrible, moronic decisions, but Archer is the worst!

[@alanbear6505]

One could argue that Shore Leave was a holodeck episode. That’s where my mind went when you mentioned the first and said it wasn’t called the holodeck.

[@lunnunis]

I liked this episode. Although Archer is a dick (not unusual) he has to do the silly chainsaw thing at the end so he gets his comeuppance. I thought both that and the funeral were funny, especially with Phlox officiating.

[@gregoryshipley4637]

I always felt like this episode was supposed to be a slog to get through. Watching it has the same energy as being stuck in a hospital waiting room, in some overly artistic way that kind of resonates. If they're going to make a bad episode, at least they did it by trying something weird and risky.q

[@geekchris105]

Two of my favorite enterprise episodes are Dear Doctor and A Night in Sickbay...maybe i just really like Flox.

[@JonSonOfJoe]

Heck yeah steve! Glad you're doing holideckisodes

[@rifter0x0000]

As an animal lover my attitude was the same. Screw those guys, they were the ones who should have apologized. They should have been helping Archer save his dog, and T'pol would probably have to nerve pinch me before I commanded an all out attack on the planet to take the engine parts and force the scientists to work on a cure while making the politicians apologize for making me do it.