Start with WHY in ALL Your Conversations

Whether you're on a date or on a sales call, you want to be chosen over someone else. Simon explains how starting with WHY can help.
Video from the Banca Mediolanum National Convention, May 2023
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Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.
Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.
Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.
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Website: simonsinek.com/
Live Online Classes: simonsinek.com...
Podcast: apple.co/simons...
Instagram: / simonsinek
Linkedin: / simonsinek
Twitter: / simonsinek
Facebook: / simonsinek
Simon’s books:
The Infinite Game: simonsinek.com...
Start With Why: simonsinek.com...
Find Your Why: simonsinek.com...
Leaders Eat Last: simonsinek.com...
Together is Better: simonsinek.com...
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#SimonSinek

[@curtkaneshiro6312]

If you ever experienced a full day with a 3 or 4 year old, you would get the question of "why" more than you would have ever expected. We can learn so much from our innocent but intelligent and curious minds as children. I really like how Simon helps us ask the right questions of why.

[@arama0010]

Absolutely. Have you ever heard them speak to each other at that age? The conversations get deep immediately and any problems are flushed out so fast, it's incredible to see unfold. Think the BBC created "Secret lived of 4 year olds" and filmed these kids and their interactions at daycare with one another.

[@jolindley9715]

Simon is on another level when understanding communication. Love his work. I'm a psychological therapist working in a trauma informed way and making meaningful connections. We are encouraged to ask the opposite in many ways but similar in others. Our whats and whys mean different things...what happened? Rather than why did this happen to you? What's going on for you right now? Rather than why are you doing this? Different, yet we're we're all changing the lens of communication for the better and improving lives personally and professionally ❤

[@angelinasouren]

👍🏻😎😊Moving away from a blame game, by the sound of it. Stuff happens. Bad stuff happens to good people and to bad people. It just happens.

[@beancheese3148]

I work in sales and I have to say this is so true! In the beginning I was asked to reflect on my poor progress. My boss asked what the difference was in the people who said yes and those who said no. Turns out, I hadn’t convinced anyone! I always started with what and the only people I could drag through a sale were the clients paying three times more what they should have. They were almost willing to stay with the company even though I had a better proposition for them, but it all came down to how they saw the company in relation to themselves and their beliefs. Single-handedly changed my life.

[@ahmaanhunt]

"Lead with purpose." This sounds like the PERFECT title for a novel. 😊

[@user-jk2mv3ch5e]

Emphasizing the importance of meaningful communication, it's suggested that conversations should begin with the "why" to foster understanding and build strong connections. Rather than solely focusing on achievements and possessions, providing reasons behind our actions promotes deeper engagement and enriches relationships with others.

[@MegaBestoffer]

In today's world, Davido definitely gets a second dates.

[@lqdae]

Facts

[@mystilearmor]

Way to miss the point. Simon even said "it depends on how rich"

[@Janto001]

Vegas fo sho with all dem gold diggaz lol

[@mada.movement]

😂

[@jolovesnailart]

Sadly enough getting rich is for a lot of people still the main goal.

[@MattGillis]

So true. Why sets the foundation for understanding and allows both parties to connect on a deeper level. Without this understanding, conversations can feel surface level and unproductive. The why creates a shared sense of purpose, and builds a stronger relationship with a person you were speaking with.

[@angelinasouren]

I like fixing things. I like making things better. And I am curious and love learning.

[@RaisaBelousov-rs9zn]

Awesome speech. That’s why I’m still following you. Thank you for your service to the world.

[@randallwilson3232]

What service? That he has emotionally manipulated so many into being more productive and more subservient while receiving the bare minimum in return for their wealth creation on behalf the ruling class is a disservice to humankind. Simon is a narcissistic, manipulative sociopath who slovenly serves the interests of the elites. He is not one to be praised. His actions are scornful.

[@Novastar.SaberCombat]

No one listens anymore. Nothing can be accomplished without this comprehensive skill. 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ "Wisdom is earned through listening, but not solely in what we hear..." --DD2 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨

[@Alphacentauri819]

“No one listens…” when your thoughts are led by such cognitive distortions, how are you even going to be able to see a different reality. All/nothing thinking is a problematic way of viewing the world. Add to that confirmation bias that continues to reinforce those beliefs… If you learn to listen to yourself, and then also listen to others…maybe you can be part of the change. Until you do that, you won’t be able to see it in others either…

[@larisakis]

My favorite speaker. Incredibly deep, inspiring and unbelievably precise e-ve-ry-single-time. ❤👏🏼❤

[@geoffreychizaza7401]

Makes sense. Also depends on the audience. Not everyone is a why person, they just want the result or the what

[@Alphacentauri819]

Might be true…but some of us don’t want those people in our lives. People who aren’t curious about the why…are way less capable at good relationships, they assume, jump to conclusions, and often struggle with conflict (and perpetuate conflict). I prefer people who are introspective, have good metacognition, are curious, understand reciprocity and mutuality. The people who want the result or the what, almost always are emotionally immature and very intolerable beyond basic functional communication.

[@Marie-or7mf]

O that's good, that's real good. I'm gonna remember this. Thank you for sharing it. 😊

[@UralRaxmatullayev-vx7vy]

Establishing the "why" forms the basis for comprehension, fostering a deeper connection between individuals. Conversations lacking this understanding may seem superficial and unfruitful. The "why" cultivates a shared sense of purpose, strengthening relationships with those you engage in conversation with.

[@user-tu2eo2ml3s]

It is true that when we are talking to people, we are prone to say what we have got, what we've achieved, and learned and things like that. But we forget give reasons in such situations. I think that we should try to start our conversation with "why" as he says. It creates understanding and a strong relationship with our partner.

[@zeeshanhaider-w8h]

It's an Amazing skill and rightly described..

[@BrianHallmond]

Wtf I can't believe I wasn't subscribed to you already. I've been loving your stuff for what feels like a decade.

[@1IBInternationalBusiness]

Great. Creating win-win situations in conversations at a deeper connection.

[@brain_respect_and_freedom]

The proper tone of voice is important when asking any question, specifically when asking "WHY" questions. Starting a question with "why" can seem accusatory and cause a person to respond defensively. Using a non-judgemental tone can prevent this response. 👍

[@michaelnurse9089]

He does not mean just saying the word 'why' - he means you talk to them from the indide out - ask why they do the things they do.

[@brain_respect_and_freedom]

@@michaelnurse9089 thank you for your insights. I read a two of Simon Sinek books, and I understand his "deep message" : what is a ‘why statement’? According to Sinek "The compelling higher purpose that inspires us and acts as the source of all we do.” People from time to time literally use " why" even you😜👍

[@CanadianLoveKnot]

You have it backwards. The person selling themselves is explaining "why" they do what they do. They don't highlight their success and explain how great they are. They explain their purpose and how it makes them and others feel and "why" they love what they do. They are not asking him "why". You are telling them.

[@brain_respect_and_freedom]

@@CanadianLoveKnot Thank you for your insights. I was thinking about WHY /adverb/, because we use this adverb so often in our life👍. I prefer WHAT FOR? English is a rich language, and we also can use WHY /noun/ a baffling problem = ENIGMA👍 No matter what we were thinking, we supported Simon Sinek's channel with our comments.👋

[@betterXdesign]

Your consistency is a testament to your passion. Keep shining bright! ✨

Excellent idea how to make easy to understand the concept to sell from the WHY not just characteristics and the good things of your brand, forgetting the customer. Nowadays customers decide from their limbic brain then the basic approach is starting with WHY go directly to the emotional brain then we make a click with them making sell easier

[@roshanakroshan7217]

Brilliant 🤍

[@harmonylifewithjess1593]

Am sold with the why!

[@Kraftwithcanva]

I love your videos Simon, For one, there are no distracting background sounds☺️

[@zuleigaagulhas9740]

I'd suggest that you skip the formalities and cut to the chase. A man who has great confidence and courage is quite appealing💞💞✌

[@itsElla01]

I’ve been listening to him for more than 5 years, and I can notice his voice now change 🤭

[@didopop8877]

Hope you had a wonderful time in Italy 😊

[@kalpanasakthi3146]

How Amazingly explained

[@GLJosh]

Either he is mic'd up odd, or he is dealing with a mild cold. He just "sounds" off.

[@lionellawrence5798]

Vivek Ramaswamy does this ❤

[@lowerlowerhk]

In short, tell a story about yourselves that involves relatable motives.

[@anshulagarwal7069]

U are best !!

[@OMjosh123]

Davido is one of the biggest Artists/personalities in Africa, so yes he gets a second date.

[@dogospeaks]

😮 I don't know why I find it suprising Simon knows Davido

[@JohnnyGreatC]

Why is it like that? Because answers on "What/How" lean on EGO. Answers on "Why" lean on INNER YOU. World doesn't care about your ego mask - it's false. But if you will offer your real you - it's honest, it's true.

[@Bill.A]

Great statement! I hope whatever cold you had while recording that is gone!

[@kirstin3639]

Love it

[@janetg.]

I just started asking "why" in a conversation over the past few months by accident. A friend of mine was telling me something she was planning on doing that I felt was really stupid (costing lots of time and money and being away in Europe when she could do the same things here in the US and I was trying to figure out the purpose or reason for this trip). I realized by asking why after every statement, (instead of just accepting a face value what she told me), I was getting a better understanding of her intent which led to my "why?" . It also made her do some deep thinking and get to the true reason to do this trip. When she finally got to the point of the trip, it made her come to the realization that this trip was rather stupid in her own eyes. She did go on the trip and I heard all about it. The entire process made me come to the conclusion that there are some underlying conditions here that she needs to cope with. No hate or judgement here, just really getting down to the nitty gritty of people feelings, intents and rationalizations for their choices. It was a great learning experience for me and communication skill that I plan on using again.

[@Shafeek258]

That was a good tip, did you find your why

[@janetg.]

@@Shafeek258yes I did.

[@OshadaAdithya-bs3up]

❤❤❤

[@peteb-s5061]

As long as you are still honest and don´t play some strategic game, considered it is a good base for business...

[@carrie668]

I like this example. My firm is just like the first one, no WHY, just magnifying self each time on town hall meetings:”we are number 1 company in the industry…”😂

[@ridhwwan]

I'll try using this on my resume and see what happens

[@user-uv7mt9li9p]

What you did is exact, nice play with emotional intelligence

[@11-marxgroup-52]

Thats some powerful stuff you have there coach Simon

[@user-yi9md7gq4c]

💖

[@Syntheticoilprotection]

I feel like this information will get me further❤️

[@vickigreen9545]

I always need to know why

[@fabioilcontadino8190]

Have a good life, Davido!

[@FbodzRyuji]

Very hard for me to grasp the why part. Seems like i need to watch this part and analysize every word that he says to understand where is the ‘Why’ in his sentence. And looks like i need to prepare a script or speech for any meeting (be it sales or dating), for every question they asked, in order to protray the “why” part. Still dont get it though… Can someone explain to me where is the “Why” element in his 2nd script?

[@arvinpack749]

Fantastic 🙏🙏🙏 as ever

[@ybwang7124]

I find if I keep asking why and the person is not prepared for it then he/she gets very angry

[@kartikchaturvedi7868]

Superrrb Awesome Fantastic video

[@jacquelyneyawa5800]

Depends on the value system of the other party. It maybe a turn off or turn on

[@immortalnow]

Work can never "fulfill you." When we fill our work with who we are, from the depth of a healthy and accessible soul -- happiness is present in most of what we do. The idea that life should or can fulfill us ... is the con of modern times; it's the opposite. When we acquire ourselves and give, life is unlimited.

[@Frenz_99]

Love it!! ❤

[@ejazraheem4849]

i already know

[@PenielChimdindu]

Why won't I subscribe?!.. you've earned my follow

[@Hesamykpro]

It is a great tactic👌🏼

[@leonidas7692]

Start with Who.

[@astrologerdawn1200]

Why is the only question we don't ask our clients when you are Coach.

[@johnvynlim]

Simon. I can sense that your sound is different that day. You must had been be sick that day.

[@jensrasmussen6814]

I think he was better off telling her why he was on that date and what his purpose is in life intention communication is better always the intention is always beautiful sometime. This behavior is not so beautiful but intention works every time.

[@elstcman5]

OKAY SIMON with the swaggy green shoes

[@Adam444Tv]

Literally a story came out about women whose first question is “how rich you are” and that they won’t date you if you don’t make enough. Tiktoc has ruined expectations.

[@Sombody123]

Being rich can be an answer to a "why" question.

[@derekbentley334]

WHY at what point should I begin watching my back for feather ruffling telling the truth?

[@zimtschneckeconnie7029]

I'd date Davido when he'd start the conversation with his WHY. I wouldn't date him after the first conversation when he is telling me he is rich, good looking etc.! But surely he will find women who would date him... for the wrong intentions... there won't be a love connection. There would be a materialistic connection.

[@mariusduus425]

Why?

[@personalsigh]

Why those shoes though?

[@elfuturomio]

All the characters coming out 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jedidiahkelechi409]

I hope Davido sees this 😅

[@claudiamanta1943]

Simon preaching to the Italians about amore (the face of the interviewer is priceless). Who should take the lead in bed, sweetheart? Would you suggest a rota? Simon, no. I feel sorry for you and I hope that, despite everything, you do have a partner. Try this. ‘Carissima mia, you are the reason for which the sun shines. You are the reason for which gods made the heavens. The Moon and the stars weep with envy when their light encircles the beauty of your body. I will trade all the money in the world for the sweetness of your kiss’. And give her a damn flower.

[@stephenlacher587]

Instead of it starting with YOUR 'why', why not, start with her?!

[@OlgaSuner-dx7fq]

This approach does not apply to many places particularly to developing countries no offense here I am displaying my point of view. First thing they ask what he or she do? What status they held and how much money they got? This might not apply to western countries as average well educated person has multiple millions but for other impoverished countries all they care how big is one’s pocket. So I think the first approach definitely will work with no hesitation if you afk me that’s a transaction and not genuine connection.

[@Monika-lr2th]

You should start with WHAT not with WHY. This is advised by many communication specialist. Starting with WHY forces people to look for justifications.

[@SynthAir]

Source?

[@johnpaul5316]

Key take away. Make sure you mention you are good looking.

[@racaciaruth4460]

Hey in today's society Davido will get second dates. .. People are looking for success and financial security. If people had true value our WHY will naturally attract the same too.

[@prasadrajput1155]

What happened to your voice? Hope you are well

[@yellow6100]

why?

[@silentkiller4091]

Davido doesn't get a second date because he gets laid on the first date and ends up ghosting her.

[@JLUCKY6]

DAVIDO FROM MEXICO GETS ALL THE WOMEN LOL

[@Absieee]

What happened to Simon’s voice…

[@evanc2148]

ok so just gotta get a job that actually means something first

[@afrosymphony8207]

of all people to use its davido looool

[@derekbentley334]

Why are Americans rolling over to Federal Government and covid19 funding by signatures? Penmanship Accountability

[@CrownKiwi]

In a Dating scenario- 1) Man to a Woman: WHY are you interested in (dating with) me? 2) Man to a Woman: WHY am I attracted to you? 3) Man to a Woman: WHY you should choose me as Life partner? Ans 3: As a successful software professional (mention your occupation), I can *Lead you achieve* your *Life's Goals* such as financial, career and family goals. Please state if you have any other goals in life. Further, as a *Leader,* I will *Eat Last* at least once a day!! I will also help you develop *Leadership Qualities* at home by allowing and providing you an _equal opportunity_ to *Eat Last* at least once a day!!

[@naowaratmarshall2154]

If he gets second date she only falls for money ,,,

[@korcidiamond3623]

Sounds nice... But I highly doubt that this has any impact in business. Yeah, you have a ton of money and you work with very rich people... Most definitely will work 99% of the time.

[@GhostOfRT300]

No. It still sounds conceited and arrogant. Is that really the best you can offer? 😢

[@FullMetalFan4life]

Just a bunch of bullshit said in a pseudo intellectual way to con people into believing his lies

[@comtedename]

very poor speech skills

[@Alphacentauri819]

Still very off Simon!!! No, you lead with a goal of getting to know the other person…not some “sell yourself” peacock puffing! So much of what you say, is of unconscious nature and egoic nonsense

[@mahlas5778]

Old news. The dream is fake as well.

[@sarosh3238]

Why did I waste my time on this?

[@SeelenTaucher]

Oh gosh dear Simon...dating. I got into headgehogdilemma 😖🤪🥰 1:36 Love that u use the word "intuitive" dear Simon. XD So humans not get annoyed if I want to understand them deeply and ask looots of questions...why, how did u feel, what u think...Thanks so mhch dear Souls. 🙏🏻🌏🫂 Yea, if you dont feel martied to your job, go wuit and create your jobs or find people who share the same values and dreams in companies like you. Blessings. Speaks my core.💚🌈 Simkn you seem to be enfp enfj with intuitive leading feeljngs. You inspire and give hope. Steven bartens seems infp infj also intuitive holistic feeler. Thanks deeply. Brene brown similiar vibes, enfj infj type. All idealists, feelers, holistic, intuitive, no matter if introverted lije susan cain or extroverted like alan watts. So cool. 🌟💫🙏🏿🌏

[@user-yq5zy8bi9g]

Simon j’aimerais savoir ce que tu veux exactement! La vie est un choix

[@JBruey]

Where can we watch the full video?

[@mcdiamond2463]

@Simon Sinek you’re getting old

[@user-yq5zy8bi9g]

Simon arrête de me suivre , tu me donnes du stress! Toi et ton groupe, vous passez tout votre temps à me dénigrer! L’amour c’est forcé ??? L’ amour entre deux personnes n’est pas lié aux followers