Stealth is weird - 1 year 2 months on testosterone (ftm)

[@averyraedev]

Perfect boys don't Exis-

[@anisesuonborai6453]

Nosebleed

[@alexonline2340]

this just randomly got recommended to me on youtube 8 years later lol. i used to watch the video of your dance progression all the time when i was a closeted lil trans kid and it inspired me a lot. i know i dont know you but i hope you’re doing well

[@bladeglow]

Dude you should get back into posting! Your videos are really cool

[@lilianamcdonald1718]

im probably stating the obvious but you are hot as hell. your journey is so inspiring and I am so happy for you

[@AntheaCallista]

Look at all these thirsty people in the comments..

[@Janne_Mai]

what kind of binder are you wearing? i want to be able to wear tanktops, too!

[@vel9382]

(1) this was posted a while ago but... highkey pissed off hearing all the doctor BS bc that's almost exactly what one of my friends went through (2) heart eyes @ roommate (3) ?? am i the only one getting erza miller vibes here

[@michaelhouse678]

It's not like you are hiding something... Why would you have to come out to everyone? It's something personal... Not everyone need to know it...

[@JambalayaBob]

Just found this channel and I've really been enjoying your videos. Also your hair is awesome. It seems to me that T-guys really know what's up with hair, lol. Gives me good ideas for my own.

[@GeminiX-zp8kc]

Same

[@AlexNeumannToT]

dream boy :*

[@iiiiiiiiiiii90000000]

"I have this thing. It's for vegetables." haha love it. Subscribed (:

[@Jyeahzmen]

God I wish I could dance like you!!!😍😊

[@zomboe_tv1534]

Him getting flustered and embarrassed when his friend came in was hilarious

[@lindsilex4440]

Never would have guessed you were born a female like damn talk about a smooth transition

[@Loljustsomewoter]

*watching videos* I should watch him more often he is so cool, but man I'm late to his videos. He is kinda cute to and he has a nice voi- hold up, IS THAT A PHARA OR ANA NECKLACE WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!!!!!

[@poopthrow2821]

Heyitsfairy omg i didnt even notice but i love it

[@zorianthezeus3265]

Lo l

[@juliancairns5885]

I love your roomate haha

[@brandyadams8803]

Looking good :) im late haha but i saw your story and it is so inspiring

[@KaiScott]

Ugh! I'm so sorry to hear about your awful dr experience and the passport runaround. I also got the royal confusion trying to get my passport updated with name and gender. Everyone seems to have a different story and it's crazy-making. I'm usually a pretty chill guy, but this had me bent out of shape, because there was no clear way forward. WTF! I figure they have had next to no training on gender/name changes for trans folks. Hence the million different approaches. Good luck!

[@iCharceus]

lol that dude doctor of yours could get fired if anyone new..

[@lukasschubert9904]

Hey beck! I watched a few vids of you now and in your first one you mentioned your height is 4'11", well youre the same as me, I'm 5' myself and I wanted to ask how you get along with that like in everyday life.. sry if you specifically talked about that in some vid, then just tell me or link it. The thing is ppl constantly misjudge me as a 13 year old and dont take me serious. For ppl I just meet for a few mins or secs (like cashiers in stores etc.) I try not to care and also stopped correcting them every time. I just let them think whatever but I'm sick of it. Like..mentally it bothers me a lot. I guess thats just similar to any other guy who is small, also about self esteem issues but yea.. Do you experience the same or how do you go about that? And maybe ways to get less irritated about it.. :(

[@beckdrop]

That's actually a topic I've been meaning to make a video about for a while - not sure how well I can fit my whole response into a comment, but I'll give it a shot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Yes I absolutely do experience that, and I agree, it can definitely be frustrating. I know very well what it's like to be someone that everyone defaults to not taking seriously. I wish I had some miraculous solution for you, or an empowering mantra - and I don't mean to be harsh or discouraging, at all - but the reality is that that's going to continue, pretty much indefinitely, at least with strangers /people you don't know well. As for those people, because they will continue to do that, and because that's really just a result of them having been programmed by their environment to perceive people our size as children whether or not they're aware that's happening and because it will be so, so many people you interact with over a very, very long time who will be like that, or worse even, the best way to adapt and be able to just live is to just try to learn to be able to let it go. I'm not trying to be dismissive at all - I /know/ it's hard, and tiring, and believe me I know it's unfair - but something on this scale, I'm sorry to say, but you kinda do just have to get used to it. And you also have to try to be understanding - you know all about your own experience, but other people will be blind to that, and so they're going to assume that however you interact with/respond to them is just what you're like as a person, rather than the result of constantly being looked down on - so if you become visibly irritated and snappy (which would of course be justified but), people will think that that's just how you are, and they'll be WAY less likely to take you seriously. And realtalk, if you conceptualize every interaction in a way that leads to you feeling significantly upset, I mean that's understandable, /but/, you're gonna burn out REAL quick. I'm telling you now, it's just not possible, you won't have the emotional capacity to be upset every time. You're gonna have to really fight to change not just how you perceive and navigate those interactions specifically, but how you think about people and relationships and society in general - and of course it's not fair, but you gotta pull those teeth to keep going. I guess the best (only ?) concrete advice I could give you is to just try your hardest to treat everyone with respect. Everyone. I don't mean /submit/ to everyone, I don't mean smile and nod and keep your mouth shut - I mean try as hard as you can to show them respect and courtesy as a fellow human, *even when they're being condescending*. If someone's treating you like a child, and you respond like oscar the grouch (however justified that response would be), they will think of you even more as a child - a grumpy, slobbery child throwing a tantrum. But if you turn around and respond as if unaffected, with the same level of courtesy you show your peers, and as if they had shown you that courtesy, there's at least a chance they might take an embarrassed step back to rethink how they're treating you. It will be hard, and you will have to work hard - much harder than a lot of other people - to be taken seriously (though there are also a lot of people, you will come to realize, who have to and have always had to and always will have to fight even harder than you to be treated with the same respect in society [not dismissing your experience, it is just as real and valid, of course]), and you won't be perfect at it (I mean I'm probably not even that great at it and I'm the one saying all this), but you can do it, you have to, but it will be fine though!, it will get much easier and will genuinely start to bother you less and less and you'll notice more and more that a lot of things that would hurt you now will just bounce off your shoulder with you hardly even noticing. And really, it's ultimately an advantage if you think about it, because it will make you that much stronger. I choose to think about it that way and that seems to be working for me so far, lol

[@lukasschubert9904]

Holy!.. Up first: Thanks for this very detailed, long answer! (and i didn't even know its possible to post such long comments on yt haha) And if you were planning talking about this, it wouldnt have been the end for me to wait for that ;) but I really appreciate your effort in this! Tbh I usually I don't get grudgy and snappy when talking to them, because - as you said - they don't know me and judge by their experiences, so it's not their fault after all. (But to refrain from doing so is definitely a good advice) But I also don't really want to make them feel awkward and bad for thinking of me as a child. e.g going to the butcher in my lunch break from work and the lady asks me nicely: "aww school's over already isnt it?" me: "mh" with a wry smile, ofc I could've also said bluntly: "nah I'm just on my break from work." But yea that would sometimes create an awkward situation, having them excuse themselves and tell me again how _young_ I look and how surprised they are. And imo.. that's even worse, being openly reminded of it again and again than just ...going along with it? But I guess it really depends on the situation and if you're likely to have to do more with this person or if you'll just see them twice a month - if even. To add something to your comment there: Usually, as soon as ppl know I''m actually much older and after we went through this awkard reaction stuff, they also take me then much more serious with this knowledge. But for me that's only worth going through if I'll be dealing with them more often, I guess. And yes ofc, I'm not saying this issue is like the worst problem a person can have, youre not invalidating anything there (as big of an issue as ppl often might take the whole trans topic in general) just wanted your opinion on this, and you also actually gave maybe unconciously a second advice to that: to always keep in mind that there are ppl who have to deal with way bigger problem throughout their life than "just being small and looking young" And for the rest.. I guess you're right: Gotta learn to deal with it everytime it happens, even more since I'm _actually_ already aware why ppl react the way they do and that I can't blame them. After all It's always only me, *I* let myself get dragged down and had this "burn out" pretty often already...being realistic, as you said, this misjudging is nothing which is gonna change so soon (at least till I get wrinkles and my hair falls out haha) so yea I'll keep on working on it and also try to think of it as an advantage that it will eventually make me stronger. Your Post helped if even a bit, just gotta keep on reminding myself of those things ;) So Thanks! And I also hope it might help others too but I guess it's definitely worth a vid, since a loooot of us have to deal with this issue (and even transguys with 5'7" complain xD)

[@GeminiX-zp8kc]

I feel the same way about people always treating me like a child just because I'm short. they like their stronger, faster, and overall better. but thanks for the advise Beck 😁

[@kae4784]

Hey I’m 5’ but my friends bother me and say I’m like 4 something. Me and my bestie (she’s shorter than me) get teased about being short all the time it gets old

[@stefunnys3882]

Beck, this is my second video of yours that I've watched. Where are ya?

[@Rob_arianne]

YOUR SUPER CUTE!!! I’ve been watching you then finally subscribe because I feel like your the best cute and funny. I’ve been doing gymnastics for 4 years and dance for 2 years and your super inspirational!!!!

[@Deathnotelover95]

I'm sorry you had to go through all this crap.

[@rexxesgedden5341]

hey, im a 16 Year old Trans, not on testosterone yet. It would be nice if you could help me out with information on FTM. sorry a bit nervous in saying a lot, thanks xD

[@jaybee710]

RexxEsGedden are you on testosterone now??

[@agnesegerton-bland904]

3 years on I pray you’re okay, God loves us all very much.. he knows exactly what we were made to be before we were born... you don’t need to change x

[@fwelony5252]

Agnes egerton-bland I- please educate yourself before saying these things.

[@agnesegerton-bland904]

ChimmyTooFancy what do you mean? because I’m pretty well rounded in terms of education

[@fwelony5252]

Agnes egerton-bland You talking about “You don’t need to change”. Someone usually transitioning feel as though they were in the wrong body, they don’t choose to feel that way. So you talking about you don’t need to change is dumb. It’s a mental thing, not just something you can give a pep talk to and expect that person to change their mind.

[@yuegene9895]

Dude where did you get that rad tank top?

[@HellzieWellzie]

Omg his voice is nice~

[@GeminiX-zp8kc]

Hi Beck I'm new but as soon I saw one of your videos of you dancing I immediately subscribed; and to later find out that your trans made me love you even more, I am so proud of your journey and I will continue to support always. Plus I have a trans friend he is ftm and I have questions for him but don't really know how to approach this conversation so could you help

[@K3LLYRI0T]

I can't believe your doctor was being so difficult and some of the things he said was so out of line. Hope things work out with the new doctor!

[@yuichirorimmster142]

You're AWESOME) I admire you) In Russia we have a lot of problem with documents and transition( i cant make operation before i'll make passport, BUT i can't make passport before i receive documents what i made operation, shit=| And i can get permission to HRT only after two years of visiting psychiatrist>< Hate it==

[@rva-oh6jy]

Hey I thought of something for you to mention if you've had any experience...where do you find men's jeans that fit your small size? I've heard some people buy men's jeans made for the Asian market. Any thoughts would be great!

[@beckdrop]

Ah, yes. A clothes video is a good idea. I usually alter my pants in some way regardless of where I get them from, but I seem to have the most luck with Hot Topic and Asian brands from places like Yesstyle and Sammydress (just found that one recently and haven't actually gotten anything from it yet, but it looks like a cheaper version of Yesstyle and super-promising) I've also heard other people say they've found some good things at H&M and American Eagle. Those seem to fit me, they're just not really my style~

[@lukasschubert9904]

rva1900 I always buy jeans in a way that the fit my hips and length is usually too long anyway so I learned how to sew them shorter :)

[@kaileycouillard3717]

haha, woah, i'm his 2,000th subscriber.

[@kaileycouillard3717]

wait no, it's not showing for some reason.

[@jas4568]

It's now 52,026. :)

[@miniryou6904]

I feel bad for happened to you and I hope it will workout! unbelievable what people can do just for money.. That was really rude and I'm so angry at them both, ridiculous e..e Fighting! thank you for making the video ^^

[@runotree3429]

look at all these thirsty people in the comments anyways im single 😉

[@insertenombreyapellidos5167]

Beck i miss u, pls come back :,)

[@iiiiiiiiiiii90000000]

Ah dude this is your newest video. You need to make an update. Pleeease..

[@birtsmom]

What a pain in the ass for the forms😓

[@calehenituse2682]

Is this the sign? I wanna go ttans so bad but people keep saying no and nobody wants to support me

[@viewhue]

Sorry about the doc, that's just hideous. Hey, your house mate seems really fun and cool:)

[@doncarry7776]

#squeaker nation out here

[@snailbeans8262]

Im genderfluid

[@proggaparomita9129]

Wait, are you spiritual??? What's you wearing??

[@wendyamador7262]

It looks like you got skinnier after your other videos. Why?

[@rokukou]

it is natural, my body weight fluctuates frequently.

[@Thenewfallingsacred]

That's just bullshit! I've never had issues with people being respectful and understanding and they never give me the run around. All the doctors and dmv people I talked to were super supportive and friendly even the people at my bank. (my bank sent me a letter congratulating me on my name change)

[@MrAustin12312]

You live in sarasota??

[@beckdrop]

Yeeeea whatsup ? ~

[@danielazoo4746]

beckdrop omg dude I was born in Sarasota. I visit every summer. Such a small world.

[@imsuchaloner5000]

Omg your sooo cute 🥺🖤

[@trinitywilliams1670]

Damn

[@SharyonTv]

marry with me?

[@rokukou]

sorry bud... hope you find a willing spouse.

[@lalavelalauconchanchi6747]

Im fall in love bro:(

[@hoeswish]

i would have never guessed you were once a girl😮

[@rossial6336]

Like

[@Q8loona]

cute

[@foodylfstyl]

U dont have to tell everyone you meet that you are trans. Yeah u need to change your doctor ... am sorry that u have to constantly fight with external close minded people to live your life.

[@nicholebannerman3462]

His voice weird

[@agnesegerton-bland904]

I’m not trying to be an arse because the last thing I want to do is upset anyone or anger anyone.. but God loves you soooooo much, and this is not how he made you but 100% he can help you. Peace and love x

[@not_obsidian]

Your pfp has an obviously strong filter on it and I’m pretty sure that ain’t how God made you either

[@agnesegerton-bland904]

zappy boi personal attack, noice one:)

[@greyknots4320]

Gross