When He's Not Attracted To You Anymore...

[@StephanSpeaksClips]

❤ Here’s your chance to get your personal questions answered by me for FREE go to 👉 www.askstephanspeaks.com

[@kristinalozano7891]

My 1st bd stopped being attracted 2 me the moment i got pregnant and it was the best thing he did 4 me bc i met a real king after tht😊

[@objectiveintuition77133]

He couldn’t handle your new womanly body anyways 😂

[@ChelsieMaxwell]

This is what I'm dealing with

[@watermelonlover745]

You'd be surprised at how many men do this as soon as you give birth to their children.

[@UncleMichaelable]

Where did you find royalty at?

[@Ates5man]

@@objectiveintuition77133he couldn’t handle your womanly body? What kind of bs excuse is that to not take care of your body, pathetic

[@BAM4_]

What some men and some women need is to grow up.

[@Goldenheart2911]

💛🙌👏👍

[@yotajames4145]

Absolutely......too vain, too superficial.

[@Joseph-re2xk]

Exactly!

[@warmusic863]

Have u grow up ?

[@redfather5342]

Good you can lead the way

[@karenzaman7362]

His phone is his attraction not usually me. He is madly in love with his phone

[@yotajames4145]

Aaaah yeah because he probably is attracted to the person on the other end and not who is in front of him. Be cautious when they are too attached to their phones.

[@monicamajors1515]

I feel you I'm sryy😢

[@promisemaliwa3214]

Same

[@ladyenchantress9172]

Same always in his

[@pinsku-wh5ze]

Facts and it sucks 😢

[@jodythi1]

If someone loses attraction it’s best to leave them, level up by yourself for yourself.

[@PrudenceAmaka-dk9bk]

That is how my relationship is now 😓 we are now roommates

[@lisajones-franklin3574]

🙏🏾🙌🏽❤ I understand that men want women to maintain attraction but some men have unrealistic expectations about what it takes to maintain attraction. If she is a stay at home wife and mother she's going to need her husband to be willing to pay the cost of maintaining whatever level he finds attractive. Quality makeup, healthy food, gym memberships, hair stylists, quality clothing etc cost money. As long as he is willing to do his part to help her maintain attraction there is nothing wrong with his expectation and his view of attraction should be his personal view not influenced by what society says is attractive nor should it be limited to physical attraction.

[@RRthee1]

I would say cosmetic surgery, too. He should be prepared to pay for a post-kids stomach repair/tummy tuck & breast work.

[@andrealangley8008]

Omg! This is sooo true

[@lisajones-franklin3574]

@@RRthee1 most women don't need surgery after childbirth. If you already eat right and maintain a healthy weight before pregnancy cosmetic surgery isn't needed.

[@marishea0silver]

@@texasjelly4002same here

[@TomikaKelly]

​@lisajones-franklin3574 This is not true. My mother was a size 2 at 105 pounds her entire adult life. The first time she ever got stretch marks or cellulite was when she got pregnant with her children She went back down to 110 after pregnancy but the stretch marks, cellulite, and C section scar remained. Realistically, pregnancy changes the body for most women.

[@ONLYLOVEIZATION]

Proverbs 31:30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

[@beefaye6861]

THIS...👆

[@deanj8870]

Amen📖👑🙏🏾

[@lorrainetopps6885]

Yes, Please say it again! Because This man does not teach people about An Inner Beauty! What God say is adorning a meek and a quiet SPIRIT HAS GREAT WORTH IN SIGHT OF GOD! THESE PEOPLE HAVE MADE RELATIONSHIPS AFTER THE FLESH AND NOT AFTER THE SPIRIT! THANK YOU FOR THIS REMINDER ABOUT A VIRTUOUS WOMAN!

[@lorrainetopps6885]

That is what true attractiveness is A WOMAN THAT FEARS GOD!

[@tamarunitamaruni4724]

wow

[@tmcr5656]

This hit home man, sometimes we are just too scared to call each other out

[@sistabrowneyes1213]

I had this conversation with my man and he told me that what you do to get him; is what you have to do to keep him. No matter what that is.

[@bluebutterfly5062]

Same goes for the man

[@Melissa-kl9li]

Sure but in life there are no guarantees. Your partner could get unwell, have cancer cut out of there face for instance ,have other illnesses and can't look the same. I know someone who had jaw cancer and now his face is deformed. But his beautiful wife stood by him and loves him the same. Looks fade. People who get to 80 or 90 can't look like they did at 20 .Even if they look after themselves. I love my husband more than when we first meet and we don't look like we did then. I feel it's a very narrow view

[@iamgoddessoflove]

If you’re giving your all and it’s not enough, then you’re probably giving it to the wrong person. 💙KZbinr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

[@queenie8677]

If a man is not attracted to me anymore i fall back. Wayy back. And work on myself when he does come back around…well too bad then. My attraction for him was gone and dead the moment he stopped being attracted to me. 🤷🏼‍♀️ reciprocity.

[@TomikaKelly]

Ong! 💯 See, that's the thing; once she "levels up" she now has access to much better romantic partner options than just her man, so it's difficult to expect her to go back and be attracted to the exact same guy as before. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@ibmor7674]

Attraction isn’t a conscious decision. You know that right?

[@redfather5342]

Why would he come if he doesn't like you

[@mrssheilasworldoffuninspir1919]

Wonderful video and insight!! I totally agree with you. Not only can we lose physical attraction with each other, we can lose it to ourselves!! When that happens we tend to hold back and sabotage our mates expectations. Physical attraction is very important unless one becomes deathly sick or other extreme scenarios.

[@Goldenheart2911]

Physical beauty is only skin deep and when you remain in the shallow end of the pool for too long sometimes you miss out on experiencing all that awaits you when you take a dive into the deep end. Looks may change over time; but the true beauty that lies within each of us continues to mature and blossom as we age if it is treated with the love and respect it deserves. 💛

[@duniamaisha7695]

What if you could be the reason adding on to her unattractiveness..you can meet someone and change for the better or worse.

[@chevysmooth4523]

Man take yo azz to the gym all these excuses

[@LuxeGlobalLifestyle]

These modern times and the expectations is what drives people crazy.

[@axiosschmidt6001]

Depends on the options that you have. Society told men to work hard build themselves to be able to support a future family. If you do it you will have options, but what women are afraid off is aging.

[@nmorto2013]

My ex said this. We are getting divorced. He was cheating the whole time and abusing me. It's for the best.

[@tammerry9496]

This man is the truth!! It's unfortunate that we don't hear advice like this. I'm tired of some people suggesting to other people that we should focus on the person's personality and not their looks. Physical looks and personality are both important.

[@raquelhaddi69]

But beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What’s beautiful to one person may not be for another. It’s not one size fits all

[@tammerry9496]

@@raquelhaddi69 I understand what you mean. I wish it wasn't hard but unfortunately it is. However, I want attraction and good personality. That's how I will want to stay in the relationship. I am praying that I will find him.

[@ericajanellelifecoaching]

Exactly! What people fail to talk about is letting yourself go also adds stress in the relationship if that person develops medical conditions. I speak from experience and not what I read in a book. We must love and respect ourselves first and our partners to be the best version of ourselves always mentally, physically, spiritually and otherwise.

[@Meeklove31]

I agree but not in the looks area as in how u were born but in the looks area as how well kept u are if u smell good clothes nice when we go out hair cut fresh then that’s my attraction just keep yourself fresh clean and neat

[@coronapwr]

I don’t think it’s a woman’s responsibility to keep a man attracted to them. If that is the reason they got together in the first place that tells you so much about that person’s heart . And to say this with such certainty, when you know damn, well, that the finest most beautiful, gorgeous woman and men get cheated on does not back your thoughts as facts. So, if attraction is meant to keep someone with you, why isn’t this formula the one to prevent cheating .I know you’re with a good percentage of men can’t help but like what they like, but you have to also acknowledge that a lot of it is socially instilled in so many peoples minds, especially with the industries that exploit women the way they do. We are not here for your entertainment, nor should we be treated as such. If beauty is skin deep then love is not going to get any deeper. To put that much pressure on women I mean go into any department store there are more clothes for women, more lotions, and potions for women and you guys think you’re not the Reason for this with your unrealistic expectations. I am not saying it’s wrong to get dolled up. Make sure you’re doing it for yourself. Love yourself And then you won’t be so dependent on anyone else’s ideas of you, because when the exterior is more important than the interior bigger issues.

[@Melissa-kl9li]

Thank you. Your comment is spot on. There is all this pressure for women to be attractive. Have babies ,still look good etc. why do we have to look like trophies for men to be happy with us. We are supposed to accept how they look and how they change. In a long term relationship no matter what you do, you will both change. Can't look 20 forever. People gain weight, a lot of men lose there hair. My point is a relationship should not just be about looks. I really appreciated your comment. Women are knocking themselves out trying to please their men. They end up with low self-esteem and the pressure to remain beautiful forever to keep them happy is exhausting

[@queen4u281]

The finest women in the world get cheated on🤷🏽‍♀️

[@TomikaKelly]

That part. 💯🫠

[@IvanaGirl]

What if you got sick with an autoimmune disorder and lost too much weight lost hair eyes became weird? And takes months if not years to get back to normal? As soon as I got sick he was out the door. That stuff is out of my control! He looked at me with disgust

[@SandySands-mn7tk]

Sorry to hear that that happened to you.

[@jodythi1]

Wow that’s horrible that he didn’t stand by you through that. God protected you from him, you will be better without him.

[@IvanaGirl]

@@jodythi1 Thank you 🙏🏼 your message is encouraging. He is extremely shallow and only cares about how people will perceive him and how his life looks on the outside. He wants this “prestige” image or something. Thank God he left me. I cried and begged at the time but now I see it as a blessing

[@cget]

"Attraction and love are two different things." What a word. I never understood why some people would want to give their partner the best of everything, but their physical appearance.

[@TomikaKelly]

Because the trade-off for some women may not be beneficial. Giving your partner your "best physical appearance" gets you what? Okay/mid, repetitive sex? The opportunity to go 50/50 and pay half the bills in the house like a roommate? The privilege of just saying "my partner is attracted to me"? 🤔

[@cget]

@TomikaKelly Then that just means they're not for you. Relationships are about pouring into each other, not just one person making the other happy.

[@yasminhusain213]

As a woman, I approve of your message, thanks

[@beefaye6861]

Hey....go whr you are celebrated....not whr you are tolerated....some men don't even wash themselves 🛁 🚿....boy bye 😂

[@plaincuteness2860]

This comment is hilarious!..no lies detected.

[@raquelhaddi69]

Right! 👍

[@Goldenheart2911]

💯🎯

[@Pickedpurposely]

I’m married and I cackled and approve this message 😂🤣😂🤣🙌🏾

[@iris5705]

True... attraction is very important....I'm not expecting a perfect body I'm not perfect either but yes I prefer a man who does not have a beer belly...

[@raquelhaddi69]

Beer belly’s equal more cushion for the pushin 😆

[@iris5705]

@@raquelhaddi69 😂never saw it like that

[@MsMalIow]

my boyfriend has told me before he was depressed and could t get aroused. a couple week later he admitted he's not attracted to me anymore. he now says he doesn't want to touch me since he feels as though I don't do enough.. I clean, a do laundry, I do dishes, I take care of the cat boxes, I make sure the counters are clean and thi gs are orderly... all he does is play games and say he's looking for a job...

[@nappyfries]

That man is not your husband. LET HIM GO

[@ibmor7674]

What people in this comment section don’t seem to understand is that people don’t consciously control what they are attracted to. Attraction by definition is uncontrolled urge(s) towards people and or things. In other words Women and Men like what they like when and how they like it; and are not consciously in control of these feelings. If my lady isn’t attracted to me it’s not her choosing not to be. She just isn’t for any number of reasons. This may or may not change at some point. But it’s no point calling her shallow or a fool for not seeing my “value” as a man like I am some kind of gift to women or something. If your man isn’t attracted to you he can’t help how he feels. Just keep it real with yourself and see if it is worth working out or not. I don’t see what’s so hard to understand about this.

[@damned_1]

Whilst it is true physical attraction *will* fade for all or most as we age…. All we can do is make the best of it whilst staying true to ourselves maintaining, most importantly, self love/respect and staying within our own level of sexy. Why does it seem however, men tend to feel this way more than women? I feel as we grow old together staying healthy/ alive long enough to enjoy each other in life is all that should matter the most!! 😔🙏🏽❤️‍🔥. Ps: I LOVE your content and your advice is priceless!!

[@mrssamuel1332]

I know attraction is a part of a relationship. But attraction is vain because outside appearance is vain. You don't stay the same forever. When your partner put on weight or gets old or starts aging. Then what. Clothing, makeup, hairdos these are things you can change about you to be more attractive. But some things you can't change like your appearance or body structure and anyone asking you to go beyond that relationship is not love.

[@beefaye6861]

Yes ma am.....I ain't getting no BBL cuz you think social media is real....boy bye ✌

[@mrssamuel1332]

@@beefaye6861 exactly if they can't take you as God created you they got to go. I don't mind dressing attraction, styling my hair aint putting on no makeup or anything then k but beyond that I don't think it's love it's something else. And you ain't loving that person for them. Attraction can only go so far

[@beefaye6861]

@@mrssamuel1332 IKR....my ex hubby thought I was a Barbie doll grl....smh....who want to b dolled up 24/7....glad he gone..... ✌

[@mrssamuel1332]

@@beefaye6861 🤣🤣🤣I would want a men like that gone too that's too stressful to maintain. Some of these men want you to play out there fantasies and ideas but reality is reality. My husband was telling me about dressing and looking more attraction and a whole conversation so I turned to him and said it's the same way I feel you can look more attractive. He became one sided. These men can dish out stuff but they can't handle when we tell them you want the same things from them they are requiring from you.

[@beefaye6861]

@@mrssamuel1332 Yep....he wanted some arm candy....

[@jensbornagain]

I often wondered why my husband doesn’t disire my any more but I also found out he had had many years of secret porn and strippers. How do I compete with that ? He says he never likes me to wear make up but in his browser history the women he watches is full of make up and tattoos I am so confused

[@Lucilockit]

Makin peace with the fact I will be single for the rest of my life....

[@katrinanelson6175]

🙏🙏🙏

[@susananavarrete2801]

🤣

[@anr841]

Honestly it may be for the best. I wish I had remained single.

[@ophrahgrah5002]

This is something I’m going through now. This guy has had a huge crush on my for months and now I finally excepted my feeling for him. I’ve liked him for 2 months and I showed a little sign I like him and him and his friend laughed. This was last week. This week he didn’t come into the store but walked passed. 2 of his friends came in in the afternoon. As soon as I saw the first one he looked away quickly and was whispering on the phone I had no clue what that was about. The second one came in with a angry kinda look and we locked eyes and that made me laugh and I tried not to and it’s turned into a smile. Then today I saw that same friend who gave me the serious look. He normally comes in to get pastries but this time he didn’t and was texting someone. Then later on I saw the dude I like who likes me, go around the store from the back towards his work place and it made me think what’s that all about. I wasn’t sure if yesterday was a test to see if I was loyal or not before continuing to pursue me or something but I wasn’t checking them out. I look at everyone who comes in the store. And maybe his friend texted him to say oh she’s here don’t walk in front walk around. Like I don’t know if he likes me anymore or not and it’s stressful cuz it takes me a lot of courage to try and talk to someone especially if I like them and today was the day I was going to do that and now look. What do you think?, Please help me 🥺 we’ve never talked just looked at each other at times. He used to be near me all the time and stare like crazy.

[@joiedevivre1984]

Society's definition of attractiveness and beauty is flawed. Everyone is gorgeous in their own way but, true beauty lies in the heart and soul of a person. Not skin deep. There are men who actually indicate that they are shallow. These are not the types you should engage with because you will stress yourself out continuously trying to nip and tuck your image to please. The reality is there will always be a woman who is more beautiful, qualified/educated (etc) than you. Ladies: If you do decide that you're going to "level up" then ensure that you're doing this to make yourself happy and by extension others could appreciate your look. Just my opinion and no one has to agree with it.

[@listeningviayoutube7229]

Preach

[@joiedevivre1984]

That's why I love this song kzbin.info/www/bejne/paixp2tngK6pd7M

[@mzyotruthnlove8263]

I agree. Beauty standards are always changing. Just look at how much even the standard for what is fashionable for eyebrows has changed over the past 10 years. 👀👁

[@valinatoussaint5485]

Best opinion ever, I believe in attractiveness also, yes it is important, but I'm so sick of listening to this nonsense about women having to stress themselves into mental and emotional pain in other to mention and find relationships, I love sephan, but I really don't like that he continously make it seem like it's our cardinal duty to be beautiful for men, that's far from biblical and in my opinion catering to the world and society's standards, hv a bless day everyone and ladies just be the woman God created u to be, stay beautiful.

[@gamingwithsoulcity]

@@valinatoussaint5485you’re being beautiful for yourself first and foremost, if you’re physically attractive you care about yourself

[@RhondaR4]

Attraction is distraction

[@BAM4_]

Some men are complicated. 🙄

[@reginayfavors]

They can honestly be stupid. They will search the world based on physical attraction and run themselves in the ground only to return to the one they left to take care of them. Nope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@BAM4_]

@@reginayfavors , exactly no return.

[@breewright1415]

Very 🫤

[@yotajames4145]

Some???? Most....Mars and Venus.

[@marquisewilliams8218]

Yes

[@nappyfries]

Years ago I decided that I wanted to work my hardest to try & get my weight down, take care of my skin, hair & nails, eat well, get sleep, wear makeup, etc. whether I’m in a relationship or not. It’s not about what a man wants me to do. It’s how I feel about myself. I’ve been in relationships where I’ve let myself go & I don’t ever wanna be at that place again no matter if I know a man loves me. Sometimes you have to do those things for yourself & it helps in other areas of your life too. Not saying I do it perfectly but overall it’s at least what I strive for. I don’t think it hurts either to try & keep the attraction up in your relationship.

[@Angela-zl1ju]

Men need to understand though that’s it’s sometimes very hard for women, especially who have had children, to get back into shape, or put in the same effort with their appearance as before. The priority becomes the baby. I don’t have time to workout or style my hair or put on makeup when I’m sleep deprived or doing all the childcare and everything else. Just sayin’

[@angelamarie7916]

How about when you're in a relationship and you Communicate your wants and desires and he gets on the defense when it's not even necessary them ignores you? Is that just emotionally immature and call him out?

[@kimmarrero6295]

When they first meet someone the live bombing the dreams promises .then after don't want to talk stays in phone in public walks Infront etc sad when affection dies the love making goes

[@Jacqxzdiva1]

I started losing weight and this man got an attitude 😫😫😫 it be so hard to win

[@jlew8486]

Tried to tell her. Claims I never loved her & not man enough. Moved to this woman’s home town just to be with her. Sad

[@MagneticUnicornVlogs]

I love that 💕 thank you for the tips 🙂

[@keligsp8962]

FACTS! Witness on both sides of the fence.

[@neshacummings1666]

I Apologize to You for having you Feeling that Way(Hell) I Really Feel Bad. I Actually Cried but Also got back Up 2 Respect an Understand Ur Wishes and Boundaries. I'm willing 2 Change That and Work On in For Our Relationship.Im a Healthy Person Also.(Yea ik I lack Up) 🤦‍♀️I'm Picky Eater 2. Thanks Luv

[@trentacoldbrew9962]

How do you balance what he finds attractive vs. what makes you feel authentic and comfortable in your own body? For example, my soon to be ex prefers long hair. However, I began to feel unkempt since it was in a ponytail all the time. With his permission, I got a pixie cut. It's stylish, but it's not the long hair he prefers. I feel more authentic and it's something I can maintain. However, I constantly questioned if it affected his attraction for me. I grew my hair long again, dressed in ways that he preferred, etc. BUT, I ultimately fell into depression as a result of losing myself trying to maintain what he found attractive, rather than finding myself and being confident. I gave over control to allow him to determine what I should look like based on his standard of beauty. That didn't feel authentic and it ultimately led to other areas of the marriage being covertly controlled (I had a skewed view of submission). I felt like I was constantly chasing his ideals, at the expense of my own self. How do you balance those lines of personal authenticity/comfort and what the other individual finds attractive? Long hair vs short hair? For men, beard vs. shaved?

[@RahYisrael99]

I think you already answered this question for yourself. You felt inauthentic with your hair longer than you prefer. It's not about hair it's about you putting someone else's desires (superficial)above you staying true to yourself. If he loves and likes you then you are his standard of beauty. If you love and like yourself that is the most attractive thing.

[@yotajames4145]

Your husband sounds controlling and possibly narcissistic.

[@JJ-kx8gi]

Yes please leave him. You are not his build a b*tch . It’s affecting your mental health. He can go kick rocks!!

[@alicea9123]

So true! I am cold for finding my husband unattractive. I'm never gonna want intimacy with a chubster! It's how it just is! Why am I supposed to lie back and shut my eyes... WHICH I WOULD DO... But flabby is grim! Sorry! Never, EVER gave the impression that it was ever ok for me. Marriage is hard. GL all, and Happy Holidays xx

[@JMJ4444-f2n]

This is great information! Thank you

[@gb7251]

In our 50’s, and it’s rough… both attractive people, but his sex drive has fallen off and he refuses to do anything about it. No intimacy, whatsoever, and I’m over here like I’m still in my 30’s, sex drive wise. He doesn’t kiss me, court me, compliment nor laugh with me… He’s so damn boring… and… he’s fine as hell. He works from home, so, I always know what’s up. But, he’s just wayyy too comfortable with our 30+ years of having been together, and it’s driving me absolutely crazy. I love him, but I am losing a significant part of what I love in a romantic relationship. This is frustrating and disappointing!!!

[@kimprothro6024]

We had a problem, he knows it wasn't my fault but blames me anyway and he decides to leave me. I don't want the breakup . I want him. How do I get him to realize and come back to. me ?

[@zoeschreiber3129]

I will say from a person who has lost alot of weight this is very dangerous to tell a woman to try too hard for a man because they can smell the insecurities and will feed off of it you will not ever be the same and should walk the f away from that man you ell never feel pretty again

[@duniamaisha7695]

But some men are just stressfull and unhealthy.once you start dealing with them you...🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️they suck everything out of you.suckers Out of amerry heart spings forth...it depends with whom you are dealing with.it is easy to look and judge what kind of men it is...just by looking at the woman beside.how can you want an angel while all you do is create hell.when we met i was attractive but after sometime with you..🙇‍♀️sucked the little i had-everybody noticed i changed and the man you dealing with is not good. Instead of adding to me

[@dawnsreviews7205]

Yeah..if he started getting attracted out of the blue I would then withhold everything. Because he is not hardly attractive anymore either. He said he loves me, but says nothing else. He stopped because he got fat. Like you said its not worth it. He is withholding intimacy and sex. At least I can get a foot rub. Now he lodt weight the wrong way ..too fast skin hanging everwhere and I gained weight because my double knee injuries. I have enough going on. Pot calling kettle black.

[@jameishaalford5272]

Good advice 👏👏👏

[@Toni-f2b]

It's not my fault his wife saw my sexy pictures hahaha

[@lisamcktube]

How do you know if it’s because he has ED or he’s not attracted or both 😮?

[@marym4831]

Greetings. This is such q interesting subject with many vantage points due to levels of growth. Physical,Spirit,Mind,Soul. All steps from The Almighty's Real Love for each one on our journey to discovery of self,brought in Particular forms "human" for specific reason,..She and He. Thankfulness is a walk& Study. Thank you.

[@sophied3545]

Love without attraction is not the love we want. Sorry.

[@Midnight_manna]

Women are good at accepting or doing certain things, to get the guy but then let it fall off after they get the guy.. Mission accomplished

[@kevinholdren5284]

So what happens if the shoe isbon the other foot and shes not attracted to her husband? Live in a dead beadtoom, leave the marriage or is there a way to find desire when they were never attracted to you and matried for for safety and sexurity and to be a good father?

[@EmeraldLuvsYouALL]

Yes actually if we're honest woman fall out of attraction for their partners as well.

[@userformerlyknownassquid8639]

Biggest cause for loss of attraction.... weight gain

[@thevegantitian]

I got rejected for being vegan and too skinny 🤷‍♀️

[@TomikaKelly]

Not for women. For women, it's having to help a man financially provide for the family and household.

[@vikkilambert-vill4021]

​@@TomikaKellyfacts

[@Bojangles1987]

I get mad every time I see my wife it’s been two years since she had out son . I find my self avoiding wanting to brbaroun her I’m no longer attracted to her in any way and I ts destroying are marriage I’ve told her her I’m no longer attracted to her and I’ve been honest since our first date thsf I’m shallow I’ve never gave her any reason to think other wise but she seems to think two years later thst it’s ok for her to of continued to gain weight . If it wasn’t for thr fact thsf she was 100% finsicslly dependant on me and we where in debt I would divorce her I feel like she robbed me of my life I’ve been with her since we where in high school

[@Bojangles1987]

I’ve maintained the same shape through out our relationship and she has to expect one 3 year period where again it heavily effected are relationship I don’t expect 18 year old body I just don’t expect going from 140 to 200 is acceptable and I’m tired of excuses I see other wife’s who have had more then one kid same agr who run are are in shape and then I see my wife and it makes me mad I’m starting to hate my wife I feel like she robbed me of my life. Say what ya want about me I don’t give a fuck I’m just being honest I don’t know what to do I find my self being mean to my wife I still care about her but I find myself not wanting to be anywhere near her cause she is mean to me as well and I want to spend more time with my son but it’s hard cause it involves me having to be around her I don’t sleep at home anymore damn near im sucidal I feel like I I was betrayed I traded my wife for my son who I love to death but it shouldn’t have to be this way I feel like she’s just lazy no matter how much I watch are son so she can get shut done she never gets shit thsts imprtent dorn but finds time to go take off with family for a week every month or two on a vacation but can’t find time to do her part on taxes or her part of shipping for our eBay store

[@TomikaKelly]

Have you invested in: a personal trainer, a chef, a nanny, a housekeeper, and/or a mental health therapist for her? Have you offered to take her out of the workforce for a couple of years, while maintaining her salary, so she can raise the children and focus on her mental and physical health? Have you offered to pay for a Mommy Makeover from Dr. Miami for her? Did you give her the option of using a surrogate for the children so she wouldn't have to take any chances with pregnancy? Hopefully your wife gains the courage to leave you and go find the husband and stepfather her family truly deserves. 🤎

[@corneliushaynes9510]

This was exactly what I'm going through because when I married my wife she had a body like a fitness trainer, now she just loves anything with sugar.

[@sparkle1949]

What if he’s watching porn and blaming his size 6 , hot wife who gets approached ( then he puppets her down for it) Sometimes it the man and his porn addiction lol .

[@katiekarp9826]

this is horrible advice.

[@chevysmooth4523]

This is truth women don’t want to hear!!! Forget that take me as I am Bullshit. get yo azz To the gym

[@apriltalexander]

I think being attracted to someone is important to a degree. However, attraction alone isn’t going to cut it. I learned from a past relationship that some men who focus “heavily” on looks have the lowest self esteem. These men use women to make themselves feel good. They like the attention from their friends and others. What I mean by liking others attention “ when their friends are like wow she so fine”. This makes them feel good and important. So yes looks are somewhat important but there not the most important thing to me. I need to know that a man can pray for me and talk to God about me.

[@simonebracy9103]

He's speaking from the male perspective and not the female perspective. Men are visual creatures and there is nothing wrong with that.

[@outsidethebox8406]

Exactly! There are far more important things I need to be attracted to than your body for me to fall for you.

[@BabyFaceRose]

Omfg WELL SAID

[@OscarHernandez-bv3pr]

But that is important regardless@@outsidethebox8406

[@rosagermosen5658]

Too deep for regular people to understand. Wise words my friend !

[@Marie-or8uj]

If he's no longer attracted to you, then that only means he's been busy looking around comparing you to other women. Ladies we need to take care of ourselves not to please a man but for ourselves. You're beautiful😘

[@lyndapeoples8127]

@Marie...well said

[@timeallofgreatestthe]

We’re not talking about “a man” we’re talking about the love of your life. Your life partner. I fell out of and back into attraction to my wife but never even thought about cheating.

[@lyndapeoples8127]

@@timeallofgreatestthe why do you think you fell out of love with her and how did you fall back in love with her?

[@timeallofgreatestthe]

@@lyndapeoples8127 I never fell out of love, I fell out of attraction. I still was willing to do anything for her, I just was not turned on by her.

[@JJ-kx8gi]

@@timeallofgreatestthewhyd you fall out of attraction then 😂

[@anon_ya]

Yep I lost attraction to my ex after feeling de-prioritized. He wasn’t putting in effort and I started pulling away. He then said he lost attraction. It goes both ways.

[@jackdeniston59]

And you never reciprocated

[@redfather5342]

How much effort did you put in

[@anon_ya]

@@redfather5342 I should have put in as much effort as you did in this question 🤡

[@raquelhaddi69]

It’s just my opinion that if attraction were that important than no one would grow old together

[@Goldenheart2911]

Perfectly said!💛👏👏💯🎯

[@cilixialatinantillaise8664]

Attraction is something. What U do about this attraction is another one...🙄

[@cget]

I think people realize when it can no longer be helped though

[@Brown4l]

Amen

[@nrperignon5641]

I don't think you understand the stages through life fully when you are young and healthy attraction is a important thing. You are kidding yourself if you think attraction dosnt play a huge part in long term relationships. Same with sex you cannot maintain a sexless relationship when young and expect everything to be ok and everyone to be happy.

[@Lucilockit]

I'm turned of by all this dating, relationship stuff. Been single for so long this turns me off even more...

[@OsutaCaroline]

Same

[@Pepperoni-and-cringe]

God gives mysterious blessings. Good for you

[@ericajanellelifecoaching]

You are speaking facts! I am a woman who physical attraction matters equally as much to me. I for one take care of myself physically and I demand the same thing from a potential partner. What you said is so 🔑 … we have to talk and be honest. Very good and relevant message.

[@raquelhaddi69]

You’re not going to be attractive forever. I don’t care how much you workout you can’t workout skin. Then what. I’ll tell you it’s the back up like having a great personality & being kind, generous & having a good heart.

[@ericajanellelifecoaching]

@@raquelhaddi69 that goes without saying! Of course the intangibles such as character, integrity, etc. are the most important parts of a relationship. He nor I negate the fact that those things are of primary importance but how a person takes care of themselves is important to me. I am not going to ever be fake and be unrealistic and say that just because a guy treats me well, and has good character can be completely unhealthy and let himself go and I still will be happy. That’s just not the truth for me. If a love a person I’m not going to be a burden for my partner by being unhealthy and not being my best.

[@TomikaKelly]

But you're single... And Beyonce, Rihanna, and Halle Berry, some of the most attractive, accomplished, feminine, fit, friendly women in the world, have all been cheated on despite being physically attractive...

[@VCD512]

I talk to a lot of single and married men and I hear this a lot especially with married men. I push my friends to work out and and keep it together but they do not listen. I'm in my 50s and I still get a lot of male attention. I am athletic always have and men tell me they wish there partner or wife would workout and I always say it starts with them. These men need to motivate there women to get in shape and stay healthy

[@mikedtown]

S Noone should have to twll the other person thier gaining weight and to lose it. They know already. The lazy ones are the ones who get mad.

[@tanyapowell5403]

Stephan you are FUNNY " I won't call out your belly if you don't call out my belly....." HILARIOUS!! I needed that laugh! Thanks for your honesty and for telling us like it is.

[@BAM4_]

Why some men always want women to make change? Accept me for who I am.

[@focusedlids5420]

I wish there was less focus on what women need to do to please men, what we need to do to be more attractive, red flags, green flags, pink flags‼️ Men are the most emotional creatures on the planet!! If there were more videos encouraging men to be as attentive to women, as emotionally astute, and love for self we would have less of all these videos. Most men have a high leniency towards homosexuality /bisexuality which is why you’re always running from one woman to the next. You gaslight women into believing we need to keep up with all of this “nonsense”. No‼️ Meditate on that…do historical research…then you’ll recognize the myths and illusions🧠.

[@lydia2159]

I love the fact that you always give us "The bitter Truth", but with Love ☺️

[@kimberlystephens2424]

You can be the incredibly handsome and/or beautiful and your mate is still very physically attracted to you, but your nasty attitude overshadows it so immensely that your looks become so irrelevant to the point that the person is no longer attracted to YOU; totally magnetized by your beautiful features, but completely repelled by YOU. Attraction goes beyond physical. There are some beautiful people that someone would say are physically attractive, but that's as far as it goes, because the rest of them is ugly and unattractive.

[@jodizellmer994]

Very well said!

[@chriscristah9178]

Great Topic! Ok, for those working hard to lose weight at an older age... seek out a Hormone Doctor. Age 40 is when we should be getting a full panel Thyroid Test too. Once your hormones are balanced back out... it not only helps you lose weight but you feel emotionally and mentally better too with a better mood. Ladies, if you’re having lots of babies... or even after one, definitely get a hormone Doctor!!!! You’ll not only be happier but feel healthier sooner than later.

[@kaycees1111]

And our attraction changes towards a man too. Absolutely.

[@RhondaR4]

The level of attraction will not go away if I’m being treated with respect! I accept people from within! If the inside is good/respectful then that’s attractive to me!🔥❤️

[@jocelynmcguire3008]

Then he should’ve said something instead of making me think I could fix this for years of my life. All I’ve done is waste my time and energy.

[@3saok]

Well i had 3 children and imin my mid40's i am in good shape iv not changed much just got older but i still dont look my age .its good genetics im one of 9 children none of whom loom their age either . We blessed really.anyway my patner is soo out of shape his belly is banging out he eats so unheathy everyday and had bad hygiene its gotten to the point where he just dont care that its making me lose attraction to him 😢😢😢 this was the man of my dreams i adored him for 13 years . Im gutted

[@SandySands-mn7tk]

How is it going? I just read your post. Hope all is well

[@pamelahunter5588]

I agree that attraction is important, but it doesn't just stop at the physical. Our bodies are going to change and at some point. Are you referring to a particular age as it pertains to one's appearance? What I find unattractive is someone that's lazy, boring or stagnant when once before they were none of these things. They still maintain their body, still handsome but the things mentioned above make mess attractive or less interested in them. So, it's not always the physical, in my opinion.

[@Goldenheart2911]

I agree 💯. Sometimes you can be initially physically attracted to the person and then they open their mouth and you can be completely turned off. 💛

[@elindabeanland5917]

I totally agree. Well said.🤗

[@jodizellmer994]

​@@Goldenheart2911 I agree, A lot of people think attraction refers only to looks, but what about personality, or somebody who's an attention seeker or high- maintenance? That all could affect your attraction for somebody as well.

[@Goldenheart2911]

@@jodizellmer994 I agree 💯 Jodi. Sometimes the most beautiful people speak the ugliest words. Physical attraction to a person is an important and necessary element in any relationship and by next discovering what lies below the surface will either enhance that attraction or detract from it.💛

[@evelizesther]

Romantic attraction is not just a physical thing. It’s like Stephen said.. couples need to have that conversation from the beginning to avoid disappointments. At the same time… I’ve seen what appears to be shallow men and women who put a lot of emphasis in physical looks get with someone who was not considered their type and also marry them and say they are happy. People change as they mature and what they value evolves with time and experience. We just gotta know where that person is in life.

[@SandySands-mn7tk]

That’s actually what happened to me I’m a black woman I married a why man he was my first and definitely not my type and I definitely was not attracted to him, in the beginning but now 10 years and 2 kids later we are still rocking, and happy.

[@chriscristah9178]

As a guy, truth is I fell out of love with myself first. Then I didn’t maintain intimacy on my end with my beautiful wife. I honestly did not keep up on my health, eating and weight. It was a downward spiral and my wife still loved me through it unconditionally.

[@yotajames4145]

You're blessed. She is loyal. However, keep working on you.

[@deanj8870]

Tobit 8:7 KJVA “And now, O Lord, I take not this my sister for lust but uprightly: therefore mercifully ordain that we may become aged together

[@UniversalMysticsOfChrist]

But I look the same... I dress well and smell good. I may even be 15 pounds lighter. It's not my weight because I know for a fact that he's attracted to 2 different women who are the same weight and age. The only difference I see is that they're light skin and I'm dark skinned. We haven't slept together in over 3 weeks. I would love to change my hair or clothes or perfume but he dropped this bomb with no details. I feel like trash.

[@maryglasgo3347]

Don’t change yourself for anyone. You deserve someone that loves you for the person you are. Mind, body & soul. Don’t settle.

[@SoulGlowHealing]

This is hard to hear. I have a feeling my partner of 1.5 years is not physically attracted to me anymore. I've kind of let myself go in some ways.

[@nene7544]

it’s not fair because i was literally dying!!!! pregnant with severe illness and complications and then postpartum during a darn pandemic. like 🤬

[@RhondaR4]

First, let me say you look good in everything you wear!🔥💪🏽❤️ Thank you, Stephan for this information! GOD BLESS YOUR HEART!🙏🏽🌟👑💛

[@tinker2217]

I'm cracking up at the beginning. 😂 I love the gentle approach though. 🥰

[@duniamaisha7695]

When you start glowing after the breakup-He must have been the problem. Thats why we're told to be careful the person you chose to be with-he can either break you or make you&then run to others fresh(predators)

[@idoracruzinofre2882]

Talking about make-up, I really just don't used make-up and I know the man I fall in love with didn't want me to

[@liztowers2058]

I don't care if you've been married for 30 yrs. BOTH people have to KEEP themselves attractive to a point. Don't wake up and not brush your teeth for days on end, don't forget to do your nails, don't allow yourself to frump out because you're comfortable with your partner. It's disrespectful to you and THEM. And that's when the cheating starts what do u expect? People are human. Sex stops, communicating stops....someone's gonna wander!

[@jillgarittagoatgirl-expose2759]

That's a very ignorant statement... What if someone has a terminal illness and chronic pain?? Maybe we can't sit that long in a nail salon or workout...Grow up!🙄

[@liztowers2058]

@@jillgarittagoatgirl-expose2759 do your nails as in "CUT AND FILE"....DID I SAY😅😃 SALON?? NO. I DIDNT. IT TAKES MINIMAL EFFORT TO LOOK DECENT FOR YOUR MAN, AND FOR YOURSELF CLEARLY YOUVE LET YOURSELF GO WITH YOUR" OFFENDED"REPLY . TRY HARDER.

[@JJ-kx8gi]

Girl. You are brainwashed. Of course take care of yourself but you do not need to be dolled up 24/7 , trying to be the best instabaddie . No, people get sick. Will you look amazing when you’re sick? I bet not. People get tired. Again will you look the best? No. I agree with hygiene 100% but there are things that happen that can prevent one from taking care of themselves..a big one is depression because “we are all human” right? If someone cheats on you because you are not physically living up to their expectations then they are a shitty human. Thats not an excuse to cheat on someone. Simply just leave.

[@TomikaKelly]

Beyonce and Halle Berry are two of the most well kept up women in the world yet they STILL got cheated on.

[@liztowers2058]

you must be a liberal @@jillgarittagoatgirl-expose2759

[@FlatStella1]

Maybe woman is not atracted to man maybe it's better to change man?Maybe he is not attracted to her so dhe stopped carying?

[@marcellejane2298]

That's probably why I haven't many a man that has the guts to ask me out because im a little different with redhair. I'm not you typical blonde and brunette on intagram men go for. I do have a great figure and look after myself very well. I just don't care anymore about impressing anyone. I choose me and impress myself.

[@mygirlncali7212]

I know he doesn’t love me and it angers me when he lies to my face. He’s a player. He’s been playing his parent’s, his son, me and the grandmother for over 3 years. They’ve told me this what he’s telling me and what he’s telling them are different things, but he wants to keep us around for his own gratification. Meaning when things don’t go the way that he wants he’ll jump to the next person. I told him that it’s over. He’s very good at a game that I don’t wanna play. His mother taught him very well and she can keep him. Sadly his family is toxic and tonight I’m choosing my heart and I know that sounds cliché but I can’t let them keep breaking it.

[@jaykingsun7093]

Yes I'm so glad someone said it. Love and attraction are two very different things.

[@TomikaKelly]

Some of the most attractive women in the world, Halle Berry, Beyonce, Adam levines wife, etc. have been chested on.

[@jamzee63]

I hit 40 and gained weight...menopause came and so did the weight....since than no sex for me for the past 20 years.

[@summermcdonald3969]

Love itt 💓 And work on it together, team work,make the dream work💪🏾💯