Therapist Shares How to Recover from a Breakup

[@caylasarah9925]

What helped me was reminding myself that my life goes beyond a relationship. That I can still be happy with my own company and not have to rely on another person. Putting myself first allowed me to realise what I actually wanted for myself , that goes beyond another person. There’s a beauty in growth.

[@kcfitness8710]

😊😊😊😊d😊😊😊dd😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊 dd😊w is the best 😊😊😊 I 😊😊 😊😊 lj

[@kcfitness8710]

I 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊 😊 I 😊 will be in 😊 and I will be in the same boat as you and I will be in the next few days to get my hair done and get

[@tommac21]

Nobody can tell you what you should do. Everyone deals with it in their own way

[@ericmartin7013]

I'm stuck in the bargaining phase and it's been six years!

[@touanifelicita2677]

How do you do that?

[@bartholetbayana9198]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

[@michael-gg2rh]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back

[@bartholetbayana9198]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

[@michael-gg2rh]

Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@bartholetbayana9198]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@CoachCiCi]

💝💝

[@moodyreviews5498]

Tips that helped me after my break up: 1. Write and Take time to grieve and be in your feelings. Avoid talking to that person for a month just processing things. But not too long. Go Do Something New. Even if it takes effort, risk and change. Just Do It. 2. Read break up stories. For some reason, it teaches you that most people suffer this, most people have tips on how to live, and most people learn how to move on. 3. Pray and meditate morning and night. It’s not easy, but it’s fruitful. Say what worries you then say everything that you are grateful for. 4. Get a therapist who’ll listen to you and gives good advice 5. Forgive yourself. Forgive them. Don’t let your heart be hardened. Remember, Weeping may endure the for a night, but Joy does come in the morning.

[@tatishacheatham2795]

Thank you ❤

[@SLees-tv7gh]

Thanks.💕

[@tatianawoellner6620]

❤

[@stormhurri]

Thank you so much for sharing this. The steps were like lifelines through this process and so practical. Be blessed.

[@tkyisrael9168]

how long does this grieving process last because he's already in love? he owes me money, and he posts stacks of money.

[@staciyates3758]

First, what an absolutely gorgeous shirt! Secondly, the most helpful thing I did to get over a breakup was cut off all communication with the ex and anyone I was close to through them. I feel like it helped me get through it, remember my beautiful life without them and create more beautiful memories outside of them.

[@StephAnya]

Love that tip! Creating new friendships and focusing on pre-existing ones is such an underrated method of healing. Thanks for sharing.

[@dr.suezettealoysiaandcarla1664]

Beautiful comment and share...we are catching up on our Therapy Videos today 🌞🤙🏽

[@MariaLuisa-fl5ce]

i hope i can do that too .. we have kids, its so hard to cut the communication :(

[@archivalsystem]

Just got out of a 12 year relationship, this couldn't have been more timely. Thank you, truly. It's been... hard. EDIT: So... Just got a notification someone replied to this, and... It's been 8 months since I left this comment. After a lot of work, time & healing, I found love again. Thanks to the people who replied to a random comment from a random nobody, & thank YOU, Steph. This truly did help me process & recover enough to be happy again, even before I found my partner. It was hard, & some nights are still hard. But... I know I'll be okay now. I AM okay now.

[@taniatheurel6721]

10 years relationship here , I hug you

[@archivalsystem]

@@taniatheurel6721 Sending hugs and support to you as well - we'll get through this with time.

[@sidymity6723]

sending hugs!!

[@Londya]

wow 11 years for me...sending hugs !

[@thewise2443]

I need a hug too !

[@_Jaemoe]

I’ve been single for 5 years and didn’t know I needed this. Thank you! 🙏🏽

[@jewelsjewels3655]

Tip #2 has been the theme of the conversation with myself this year. Stop leaving out the part of the story where I *****ed up at! It has been enlightening mentally, emotionally and physically.

[@Mindsetolympics]

Still healing from a short term relationship almost 4 months ago, but a 10 year battle with codependent, neglectful and abusive dating (my recovery date was May!)

[@Ash-ol3ji]

I feel you on that. I don't know if you've heard of RedefinedTV, but various sermon series and webisodes/ shorts have addressed codependent, toxic, and dysfunctional patterns and relationships. It has given me a lot of clarity and healing as well 💜

[@Mindsetolympics]

@@Ash-ol3ji Thanks so much God has taken me to that channel with a word FOR ME! DEFINITELY!! Cleansing away all this toxic dating content out here! :( God reeled me back in with this last guy, I swear I had enough for real! Keep staying the path hun!

[@socalledmel369]

This video came just in time for me! I’ve been struggling with my breakup and coming to terms with who I was and who my ex was in the relationship AND continuing to coexist due to financial limitations. It has not been easy! Thank you for these tips!

[@lovelylauz02]

I'm in the same coexisting circumstance (mine is more legally I can't kick him out than financial). It is hard. I hope you are carving out time for yourself where you have a safe place to relax and rest from a stressful home situation.

[@Mindsetolympics]

Aww my friend is in a cohabitating ex situation. I can't imagine having to do that. prayers to you both!

[@lovelylauz02]

@@Mindsetolympics Thank you! I will take all the prayers I can get!

[@montanavigil6058]

Thank you as always for your amazing content Steph ❤️. I’m healing from a break up in which I did not receive any closure or resolve, so I love the idea of writing a letter to them in order to get things off of my chest. Prior to our break up I deleted every photo/video we ever took, our message threads, and threw out any items which may have brought up his memory (which I highly recommend for anyone). I’ve also had 0 contact with him, and as much as I’ve wanted to reach out, I try to remind myself that, that chapter has closed, and that that is okay. I’ve leaned on friends, family, and my therapist for support and slowly his memory has become more and more faint. While I’m still heartbroken, I’m healing. I think allowing myself to feel, process, and cry in the present, will serve me in the long run. I also suggest this for others who may want to distract themselves with new relationships, partying, etc. As hard as it may be to confront and process in the present, it will only serve us in the long run and lead to growth and healing. Best of luck to those struggling, you’re not alone, and you will find healthy love and happiness again.

[@railove4223]

I wish you were my therapist 😢 literally going through this as of today and I just feel so crushed because I love him so much 😢 my heart just feels broken right now

[@babymamaASMR]

I really like your aspect of accountability, I often blamed myself for many of these things but I needed to fix my perspective on what was in my control and what wasn’t. My reaction to disrespect is what I can control. Therapy has really helped but so has alone time, finding new things that make me happy, rediscovering my body and my intentions. Meeting new people has really helped lately as well. I can get into the habit of a hermit but that’s not healthy for me. I am such a social butterfly. Your video is a beautiful reminder, thank you. I needed this on a random night feeling down about myself.

[@Sunny74-]

Hope you are feeling better. 😊

[@onedirectionlover317]

Perfect timing! My bf broke up with me three days ago, and this was exactly what I needed (and that too from someone like Steph).

[@naomi8380]

omg me too. its been 3 days and its been tough 😭

[@kiwiofkiwi1807]

I always appreciate your tips for relationships, and I feel that this is a wonderful addition to that

[@rmy_Youtube]

Whew Chile! Everyone can relate/benefit from this video. Loved the practical tips! I can see this video becoming one of your most popular videos.

[@BotlenyanaThabileNtseo-el3ph]

My boyfriend decided to broke up of me we dated 3 years it’s hurt I can’t even think straight

[@BelitaMackriel]

This past month hasn't been an easy month, but I am processing what I need to process. I have love this person for more than a decade and I have blamed myself after the break up. I am someone that always first does introspection before I even look at the other person. During this time I have also realised that I wasn't totally at fault. I read a lot nowadays and I watch inspiring videos to help assist me get through this. I know that communication in conflict and communication on both our ends was one of the big hurdles. Not that I'm standing outside and looking in through the window, I can see what I should work on to improve on my end as well. I'll take it all in its stride. 1 day at a time.

[@braidedbytherapy7527]

I appreciate these tips, if only the other partner would use this advice and let go.

[@sibley504]

Your timing for this video is impeccable!

[@tatianawoellner6620]

My avoidant ex is the love of my life. I can’t detach from him atm. So I’m working in love myself and learn to detach. Also why do I attract these men. I deleted everything. But the hope is still in my broken heart. And yes, he ruined my favourite artists and songs. Trigger is s soft word to what happens to my anxiety if I try to listen to any. 😢

[@robertahosey9765]

Thank you for this video. To me it feels like I’m reliving a break up. We were together off and on for 5 years. I guess you can say it was officially over when he moved out of state. But we remained friends. The few times he came to visit we would get together. Hook up. Recently he asked me if he met someone else would we still be friends. I said yes . And asked if he met someone. He said yes . He then asked if he was to get married would we still be friends . I said NO! Back story. He was previously married twice before and told me he would never get married again. But he kept giving me the impression that marriage was still on the table then it wasn’t. So for him to ask that of me I felt it was a slap in my face. And that’s what triggering me. And I don’t know how to deal with it. I have a therapist and the next time I see her I will bring it up as this just happened last week. ❤❤❤

[@SerenaDunham]

For me getting closer to God helped me but I was in a on and off relationship so it was never consistent when that boy called my phone I answer and go be with him till we break up again then I regain that focus with god and it’s a repeated pattern but the point is if you’re consistent and you want a closer relationship with God then it’ll work plus it’s a better healing journey then hopping into another relationship or talking to multiple men

[@pearlemichelle4357]

I thought I was ready for my breakup healing until she mentioned deleting the photos and I just broke down at even the thought 😔. Then me and him still communicate and the last thing he says to me still is I Love You so it doesn’t even really feel over even though I moved on all the way to TX and left him back in FL….. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t wanna let him go at all esp now that his dad died the same time we broke up. It’s just too much. It’s placing me in a very dark place

[@hellaSwankkyToo]

i've been hearing some....not so great things about Better Help 😬 from therapists, social workers, etc. issues about shady marketing practices, how they pay their therapists, + other things. once i started the signup process, i started coming across the videos//posts + now i'm hesitant. have you seen any of these videos, posts, or concerns from fellow mental health professionals?

[@sbgsolutions9949]

Really really good Stephanie ❤ thank you.

[@punctuationwith1period]

Fabulous presentation. Thank you for sharing this information

[@ksl8526]

You are legit the best. Thank you 🙏🏽

[@yvenidejbelizaire394]

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!!

[@jamess8240]

Thank you so much for this video

[@tatishacheatham2795]

My first time watching your video it has helped me. I subscribed.

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

How to close that chapter to that identity crisis 😮is hard to overcome certain things but yet am trying to move forward is hard when people are praying on my downfall and it ain't right

[@samonecharisma3043]

Deleting the pics & videos is hard

[@thecommonsensecapricorn]

The first one is funny to me, because yes it’s very true. It’s not a huge breakup because we were just dating for 2 months but this man lived at the beach I ALWAYS went to (I live coastal so there’s various beaches around) and prefer, but now I won’t go there, even though he’s left town at this point… we did everything at that beach so it’s too many memories for me right now. Which sucks because I want to go to the fucking beach lol.

[@pnkglitter]

We renovated the entire basement where I currently live. Most of the work was done by him, how do I avoid the triggers? I live the triggers every day

[@ghulamaisha582]

How're u doing now?

[@krystabor8165]

adquire or look for new hobbies and read about things i might be interested on o may help me, invest time and money in things that may actually be beneficial to me.

[@tommac21]

Well 1st theres no such thing as any therapist could possibly say or do that will help. The only thing is it takes time. These so called therapist have to be the lowest form if life. Biggest scam artists vultures. They're worse then divorce lawyers

[@Gearsturfs]

I blocked her on everything then send her realizations about how little she did for me and I know she's stewing behind her phone, crying and realizing how much of a shitty partner she is and was, and I love it. But, I do need to move on. Torture is only fun for so long.

[@unpocoloco369]

You mentioned in the video how taking accountability is important. I agree, but I think I blamed myself for too much of what happened with my ex. What helped me was realizing they were just as much in fault as I was.

[@shiuli6161]

Yeah even I am going through the same I keep blaming myself for the breakup and keep thinking that if I had handled situations in a different way we would have been still together. But I think he is also as much in fault as me, I tried to apologize for my mistakes but he never took accountability for his mistakes. He kept telling me that it was my fault and never tried to at least think that he might have also contributed to this.

[@DrBigkittylumpz]

@@shiuli6161”he” was me in the relationship i just lost because i heard what she said but i didn’t HEAR her

[@yhineidy131]

What has helped me through my break up is being patient with myself and giving myself time to heal. I was mad at myself because I expected to be over my ex in certain amount time. I read online that if you dated for a year you should be over your ex in a month or something along those line. Being patient and letting myself cry really help. Deleting all pictures and messages both on my phone and social media also help the process. Have zero contact as well

[@StephAnya]

Yes, patience and grace is important. Thank you for sharing ♥️

[@tommac21]

This is what I mean. You read all the comments and everyone deals with ot differently. So what makes this woman thinks she knows. These people make me ill

[@XxxMuseluverxxX]

@@tommac21Are you talking about the women in this video? If so, she’s literally a therapist dude

[@elimamandaza]

@@StephAnyaMy struggle is I had to end the relationship because of another woman . We are in the same circles so I hear everything they do one way or the other. I hope I get over this 🙂

[@THEESTARQUEEN]

What if we have a baby together

[@daphwill]

The most successful method for me after a bad breakup in particular is "outta site, outta mind." Deleting alllllll evidence of life or our time together, deleting and then blocking the phone number so I can't find it even if I wanted to. Removing any left over regiments of them in my home or phone

[@faye_isc]

YESSSS !!!!!!!

[@kenlamar6163]

Yea its a lil more difficult if u share a child with Dat person nd believe in family

[@LatinoWebStudio]

What helped was to take a year for myself, no relationships, flings or anything like that.

[@GodHelpMe369]

1. Grieve. 2. Allow yourself to feel. Don't suppress. Don't repress. FEEL. 3. Love yourself. Honor your feelings. 4. Concentrate and focus on yourself, your boundaries, your health, your wealth, your joy, your life... 5. Forgive yourself. Forgive them. Don't take others' behavior so damn personally. (They're fucked. They have their own traumas and issues.) Every family has a person who breaks the chains of poverty and trauma... I AM that person! The only thing I'm giving up on in my life: is the need for specific conditions to be met, in order for me to be RADICALLY HONEST. RADICAL HONESTY is my modus operandi. JOY IS MY PURPOSE. YESHUA IS MY GUIDING LIGHT. 1. Decide who you want to be and BECOME THAT 2. FIRM/CLEAR/DIRECT boundaries. Consequences for those who don't respect them. 3. Cut out ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that doesn't serve your health and your wealth 4. Take action everyday toward your ideal life/reality 5. Gratitude 6. Master your mind/emotions (do not be a slave to these)! YOU ARE THEIR MASTER! 7. Keep your promises. Treat yourself like the Queen that you are. 8. Learn (and ultimately master) new HEALTHY skills 9. UNDERSTAND: not every man is built to see your value. They are not all capable nor able. 10. Be confident and authentic 11. Create peace around you, and within you 12. NEVER EVER accept anything/anyone that disrespects you and your boundaries 13. Be open to correction and growth and evolution 14. Be the woman God wants you to be and has created you to be A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, ever, period. So... If he ignores me I will step back and he will lose me. I don’t play any of these childish abusive controlling mind-games. I will only be with a man who values and appreciates me, and treats me as the Queen that I AM. Because I am a beautiful and kind and sexy and wise and magical woman: who knows my worth. Period. Whenever you are alone, remind yourself that GOD has sent everyone else away, so that there is only you and him... Do not feel lonely, the entire universe is inside you. YOU ARE THE UNIVERSE IN ECSTATIC MOTION, BABY! Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes... For those who love with their heart and soul there is no such thing as separation. You have to keep breaking your own heart until it opens (It is only then, that GOD can truly totally completely fully enter)! Our greatest strength lies in the gentleness and tenderness of our heart. --- Rumi You are constantly being re-born, re-created, re-generated, every moment. No belief is contained, held, or stored anywhere. It might cause a cascade that brings a symptom, breathing patterns, somewhere in the body, but the concepts, thoughts, and stories are constantly being re-created. You are generating it ALL, and this is unconscious. You can change in an instant!!! Every morning you wake up, your life story is re-constructed. Do I have to wake up believing reality is the way I believed it was yesterday? When breathing is restricted, get curious about what is holding it back, when it is open get curious about why that is... YOU are the Artist! Awareness of something alone IS enough, it untangles itself, the knots let go of you. Choose Freedom, take responsibility for your own suffering. AFFIRM ♡ - I have extreme supernatural beauty - I am supernaturally beautiful and gorgeous and sexy - Every day, I am grateful for my own unique beauty - I am perfect, and my beauty is incomparable - My soul shines, reflecting my inner and outer beauty - I respect my body and cherish it as the embodiment of my unique beauty - I am bold and beautiful, just as I am - Every time I smile, I let my beauty shine to the world - My beauty is not defined by others, but by how I feel about myself - I honor myself and my body and my life

[@biinyah]

I loved keep reading this 💗

[@stormhurri]

This was all so amazing and needed! Thank you.

[@akhileshomre3863]

Thanks

[@tanishanightingale]

Thank you. I loved reading it.

[@sscheller34]

wow this has brought tears to my eyes thank you so much

[@youcancallmeMsV]

Maaaannn I watched this one with tears in my eyes, I'm currently in the process of ending an 8 year situationship that we both vested a lot of ourselves into. Thank you so Steph, your gift is amazing and is helping heal the world!

[@StephAnya]

You’ve got this. Thank you so much for watching. I’m glad you found this helpful ♥️

[@Muskymuse]

Are you going to be casual friends or in a distant contact

[@GodHelpMe369]

Narcissists and avoidants are "reframing experts". They can, in an instant, reframe any situation to where you are at fault, they are the victims, and you are falling down in your responsibilities to them and to the relationship. They are character slayers. They go right for the jugular. It is really fascinating to behold, if you can step out of the way of taking ANY of it personally...

[@TheMoises1213]

I keep old photos of the ppl I was getting to know in the cloud not on my phone. I could never delete them because for w.e reason but I do know how to let the past go. I like to go back once in a while, re-look at the photos and just go back to how happy I was when I was with them, try to figure out the things that went wrong and remind myself what boundaries and new behavioral patterns I should keep creating to make sure what went wrong in the first place never happens again.

[@lmiller1413]

No to the deleting pictures . 20 years later it is nice to look back. You may see yourself as beautiful and then wonder what you ever saw in that person. Store them away.

[@tkyisrael9168]

I deleted everything with him in it. he made more with his new girl, so I know we meant nothing to him, so I don't need those pictures.

[@tamesharoberts8732]

I put my pictures in the my eyes only because I don’t wanna see them every time I get on my gallery app but if I wanna look back at occasionally. They’re still there.

[@daveo9844]

Deleted them all. See ya.

[@lovelylauz02]

I definitely appreciate this video. I recently ended a 5 year relationship and the ending wasn't well received - at all. It not only strengthened my resolve, but I also got that closure that yup, this isn't going to cycle back. I got my therapist and took accountability for what I could have done better in the relationship and made commitments to work on that while I am currently single and healing. I also made a commitment to who I want to now be outside of that relationship. I am taking more risks and really enjoying life. It does get a little lonesome sometimes, but I never feel as bad on my own as I felt in that relationship.

[@MishaElleSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing your story.

[@dr.suezettealoysiaandcarla1664]

Beautiful comment and share...we are catching up on our Therapy Videos today 🌞🤙🏽

[@juliannaokike3359]

Psalm 23 is a scripture I like to meditate on.

[@tristanneal9552]

"Focusing on that time in their life is what's been giving their life now meaning." Damn that hit different, you're totally right

[@rhapsodicchimera9768]

This video is so timely. Thank you for this. Just ended a two year relationship with a guy that was my friend for 10 years prior. It's been really tough.

[@patriot-hj5vx]

How are you feeling a year later?

[@carollukhoba]

Going through this its difficult i cant sleep am always crying iam in a big mess i invested alot ,but now i regret thanks i will trust the process May God give me strength

[@minis_world]

I am going through this again. My ex said he wanted to fix things over Easter only for him to flake on me. I then discovered that he was his rebound. I am shattered and broken. I don't know how to cope

[@komodotear]

Thank you for making so many difficult topics so much easier to digest!! The first thing I did after my break up last month was work with my most debilitating fear, which was going out to places I love, and seeing my ex by chance. We shared a lot of the same hobbies and taste. I asked my friends to come with me to places where I was most afraid to see this person. I felt like the world got a little more comfortable after making new memories with them. I started putting the things that made me happy into a small time capsule to open again in a few decades. Personally, I feel like throwing certain things away is like denying any happiness ever existed. I guess that's something for me to ask my therapist about. : )

[@StephAnya]

I think this is a beautiful approach! Whatever makes you feel open to the world again. I love the idea of a capsule.

[@komodotear]

Thanks for the support ☺️

[@PukuDuckie]

Hey, I just found your channel and I already think you're awesome! I'm just so sad, my last relationship ended 3 years ago, we were together for almost 7 years. We had wanted our future, a family, and fought so many battles together. My time with her was the happiest in my life, and I am so grateful that I was able to experience that beautiful time with her. Not long after it ended I lamented so much not having gone to couple's therapy, because I really feel like maybe we could have saved our relationship if we had help back then. We still loved each other when it was decided, and despite how bad the breakup went, I think maybe that's still true. Of course, last I heard, she was in a relationship with the guy she cheated with, so it's not like I'm grasping to get it back like I used to. I've come a long way, myself. I was so willing to forgive her cheating, even though it thoroughly broke my heart, because I just wanted to be with her so much, and I just wanted us to get passed it, but the cheating didn't stop. Of course, I know I contributed more than enough to the problems we were having. Because of the cheating and her still hanging out with the guy while we were trying to heal the relationship, because I already dealt with ongoing depression and was off all meds, I fell into a horrible depression, and because of that I didn't contribute my part to our future together. I was always so tired and felt like I couldn't move. I hated myself so much for not being able to just do what I was supposed to, finding a job, helping to contribute financially. I was unable to help her see how much I wanted to, but felt so disabled. She couldn't understand why I couldn't just do it, she said "lots of people are depressed, but they keeping going because they have to". I had just moved from across the country to finally have our place together, it was before the pandemic, moving that far by yourself is a lot, I had just gone through a breast cancer scare (it ended up benign thankfully), and because we were just starting out, I didn't really have the money to go to therapy, or get back on antidepressants. I didn't know the area, so I didn't know where I could have gone anyway. Anyway, I'm at a point where I feel like I've been able to... move on? I'm open to new relationships and I really feel like if I caught feelings again, it would be that extra push to get passed it even more. I don't think I could bare to delete photos and get rid of things she gave me (the photos are actually kept in a folder on my cloud that I don't touch, but it's comforting to know they're there), because I don't want to throw her away or the memories we shared. I'm never not going to care about her and her happiness, and I'll always have love for her in my heart, but I know that there are other things to focus on now, people who are in my life with me right now. Friends and family. I was able to get back on my meds. Luckily, I have been able to rediscover my passions, because it was like you said, it's like you lost yourself and your future, it feels like you lost everything. Now, I have been indulging in things that I like specifically. Pouring myself into my craft, building my skills. More than having another relationship any time, I want to focus on my personal growth, learn so many things, and that's also what I plan to bring with me when I do find that new love again. Trying to learn how to love and appreciate myself, by myself. Focus on how I am free to do what I want, when I want. I still have such a long way to go, I relapse with intrusive thoughts, bouts of depression regarding that specifically, and night mares every once in a while, but I have come such a long way too. Thank you so much for your videos. I look forward to watching your content from now on. Sending well wishes~ :) ♥

[@cheesychips4511]

Thank you for sharing 💕

[@shiuli6161]

My relationship of 10 years just ended. I don't know what to do without him. I had imagined my whole life with him. I keep blaming myself for the breakup and keep thinking that if I had handled situations in a different way we would have been still together. But I think he is also as much in fault as me, I tried to apologize for my mistakes but he never took accountability for his mistakes. He kept telling me that it was my fault and never tried to at least think that he might have also contributed to this. I wish he could also see his mistakes and we can both apologize and live happily. I don't know if I will ever be okay without him. Its very hard to live without him.

[@kaylan5274]

Hey Steph, great video 💕💕 I learned a whole lot. I was wondering if you can do a video on aging anxiety and ways to cope with the scary thought of aging. Thank you in advance 🤗

[@daphwill]

Can I just say this video is KEY. All advice given was some concrete advice. I very much enjoyed it. Thank you.

[@epistemophilicmetalhead9454]

identify and avoid triggers and then re-integrate them back into your life after processing them (go watch that show you used to watch together, those places you used to go together to) be honest about how you fucked up get rid of memoirs, photos, clothes etc, ie, objects that remind you of them write them a goodbye letter. sending them is your choice rediscover this new you and figure out what you wanna do and what your values are gonna be seek help. professional or otherwise

[@zoemichell3566]

I found it helpful googling self-care and thinking about what makes me feel alive, then making a promise to myself to do more of those things.

[@vp205.]

For months I blamed my partner, now I'm beginning to realize he played the biggest part, but I played a part to. Healing hurts! But every day gets better

[@nicole4779]

Currently processing a breakup. Didn’t realize it but the breakup triggered my childhood trauma. I have a CBT therapist that pointed this out. Since she is CBT focused and doesn’t treat trauma, I am now working with a trauma focused therapist in addition to her. I hope that helps someone ❤

[@BelitaMackriel]

This past month hasn't been an easy month, but I am processing what I need to process. I have love this person for more than a decade and I have blamed myself after the break up. I am someone that always first does introspection before I even look at the other person. During this time I have also realised that I wasn't totally at fault. I read a lot nowadays and I watch inspiring videos to help assist me to get through this. I know that communication in conflict and communication on both our ends was one of the big hurdles. Now that I'm standing outside, looking in through the window, I can see what I can and should work on to improve on my end as well. I'll take it all in its stride. 1 day at a time.

[@GodHelpMe369]

When a broken/damaged/immature/abusive man is using a woman, he’ll show these signs: - he avoids truly deep and emotionally vulnerable conversations - he's inconsistent - he only contacts you (connects with you) when he needs/wants something - he doesn't REALLY include you in his life (it's all an illusion/fantasy) - he avoids commitments/labels - he makes you feel guilty/crazy/needy - he doesn't truly support you or your goals (in any real and tangible way) So, If he pulls away, give him a push... Let him go! When he pulls away, he can stay away, it's over! It is complete. 1) Never EVER be afraid of losing him. You are the Divine feminine. Let him fear losing YOU! 2) Have an EXTREMELY low tolerance for ANY bad behavior... AVOIDANT or NARCISSIST? Let's be real. It's irrelevant. They both behave the same. The damage they do is the same. The trauma they cause is the same. FUCK THEM BOTH. So, When there’s a disagreement, an argument, a conflict, some bullying, disrespect, boundaries being crossed etc... someone will inevitably, most likely, be disappointed in me... So, I engage in each and every situation in a way that ensures, that the person disappointed in me, NEVER ENDS UP BEING ME! I aim to never repress, never suppress. I aim to never lose parts of myself. Radical honesty only: 100% of the time. Always, all ways. AND REMEMBER: to test if ANY relationship is healthy - you've got to judge the relationship on its bad days, not on its good ones!

[@divinelyguided1144]

Outstanding video thank you 🙏🏾 There was an app that I used when I had a very bad breakup. I can’t remember the name but it was amazing along with counseling!!!

[@fliptheswitchyt]

Love the video! I'm wondering how best to handle a situation like this with someone who was a friend first and wants to maintain the friendship? Maybe possible video idea... 😊😊😊

[@bethelelias3966]

I second this!

[@aladynamedSusan]

It's been a year. I should be over this. All i do is cry

[@Sunkissbabe2]

Please know that you aren’t alone but don’t be so hard on yourself…i it took me about two years to get over my relationship and it does get easier as time go on but don’t be hard on yourself. I’m just sharing this with you because I get it and by sharing this I hope I can help someone❤

[@aladynamedSusan]

@@Sunkissbabe2 Thank you so much😢❤️🙏🏿

[@Raeschannel_]

This is very helpful, and I’m at the point where I’m starting therapy and yoga meditation to move forward. It’s really painful and hard, but I’m allowing myself to feel all the pain, hoping that one day it won’t hurt anymore.Will post my journey soon to let ppl know “you’re not alone”.

[@incasanon]

How do you heal from someone you have to communicate too everyday because you both share a child together😞 it’s been 8months and it’s still not getting any easier 🥺

[@Nicole-zr1me]

Adding to your comment about deleting old pictures, I would add something that immensely helps me: unfollow or block them on social media. I had an ex I couldn’t get over for a long time. But I realized I was mentally keeping them in my life by continuing to look at their socials. After I stopped looking I gradually stopped thinking about them and was much happier.

[@patriot-hj5vx]

My situationship blocked me on social media. He goes through cycles of deactivation his insta and when he reactivates it he posts content that is overtly related to me. It drives me bananas

[@Nicole-zr1me]

Yeah I think it only works if you're ready to move on and just focus on your own life 😅

[@Lr8_youtube]

- identify and reintegrate your triggers - accountability , responsibility - obsession and letting the previous relationship trauma to influence you in the now - goodbye letter: to gain closure and close the page of the chapter let them go, catharsis , let your painful thoughts and emotion go, release - write a hello letter to yourself: Write your new self, and be thankful - there’s pros and cons for everything - make a list of your values, and important qualities to you. - get a therapist Other things from my knowledge: - write a list of their bad negative qualities, and the reoccurring issues with that person - write a list of your good qualities - write a list of things to do and accomplish ..

[@Honey70708]

♡ how to react if someone says “I love you” a bit too quickly… ~

[@girlygirl402]

I feel like he’s over there living his life and I’m over here soul-searching… it is so unfair😢😢😢😢

[@bonitocraftsarg]

My husband doesn't want to have a relationship with me anymore after 22 years, but he wants to live with me because our kids are 7 and 11. I'm really in a tuff spot because I want him to love me again but I feel it's too late and on the other side, I'm chronically ill and need him to help with the kids. I don't want my kids to lose him. I'm really hurting. Is there any advice for my situation?😢

[@enweoguuzuoma2599]

Just needed this to get better from 4yrs relationship that end 3wks ago, he gave me a reason to focus and be courageous, he supports me in my academy financially and i have grown to love him with everything i have., i need to get over everything as soon as I can so it won't affect my studies. I think this is good

[@BrendaNankole-p6e]

Hi ma'am, please kindly help me. My girlfriend and I talk but she Says she's moved on but I still love her so I. What should have do?

[@imjess_saying]

My ex from a 4year relationship and I used to watch your videos and I was going to stop watch but I know that I need to hear this advice

[@amyangelicagomezherrera7595]

Omg se llama Anya 😱

[@kleisnergalvis6638]

Prayer, therapy and coaching has helped me a lot

[@MamaCancer23]

These are great tips Steph! I went a break up 2 years ago with my sons father which was really tough. Deleting the pics & videos was a huge part of healing for me! It truly allowed me to move on. I did lots of voice journaling/memos when I didn’t feel like writing. Cried lots 😭 because emotions need to come out! Also working with a therapist helped me to process my emotions. I actually with through Better Help 😊 Anyone going through a breakup there IS light at the end of what seems like a dark tunnel 💡💛

[@BelitaMackriel]

Thank you, this is brilliant advice.

[@marben7419]

Just got out of a 3 year realtionship yesterday I'm truly lost. We both agreed it was because of different core values. It didn't end in a bad way. Yet I feel so lonely still.

[@evelinwangeci5269]

for me its today i feel lost scared confused, for 4 years my life has revolved around one person, we have both made mistakes, i have always hoped and prayed i experience everything besides them. i dunno if i will ever recover

[@PammiKumari-r3x]

I am not able to recover i don't know what to do 😭😭

[@agray7474]

Your words are powerful and if you speak that way you won’t recover. I hope you’re coping better now

[@debbyngozi]

This was a Good video love it!! 🔥

[@shay8727]

This is gold!

[@jore_mibu]

😢 i need this one 💔 i deleted pics / text i didn't send but im having trouble blocking hos number 😢

[@ThisJustJin]

There is victory, and thank you for the understanding and validation for me as well! 💗💗💗

[@lydiahildale6616]

I found that therapy was not helpful. It is not going to have the man you love love you back. It will not make you forget him. It will not bring a replacement in your life. I was very active and this did not help. I was not able to function at my job because of my trauma. There is no cure for being a reject. Time does not heal. This happen to me 44 years ago.

[@faith7934]

My problem was he didn't like if I yell his name, I was wrong. I did it because he doesn't implement anything I suggest. We both agreed to therapy but he sends me videos explaining how women are wrong and I send him your video's so we can move in a direction of help not judgment and criticism. He told me he don't watch nothing I send an I watch everything he sends me. So I told him until he watches the last video of yours I sent him two days ago and tell me about it, I'm not watching anything else until he balence this or we won't have a scale because I restricted what he sends. I want to work with you please.

[@spenciiO]

Thanks for making this. I’m going through a very hard time and have few resources. This helped a little

[@daveo9844]

I’ve deleted all photos of ex’s after every break up. It’s therapeutic 😂

[@shawolsCARMEN]

Hi Steph I love your videos~ Can you speak about situationships and how to deal with those?

[@genicortinaortega705]

how do I choose you in betterhelp as my therapist? I am just going through a breakup

[@laurafreeman3335]

Hi super appreciate this information I have been with a guy for four and a half years and I wish I would have known some of these tips and tricks that you were giving now I I do once in awhile come in contact with this person and we did sit down one day and actually have a conversation one day and it actually wasn't bad I don't really hold on to the same feelings I had though sometimes I wonder how much I still trust that person but I did at least try so thank yo

[@lydk2146]

This was great 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 in addition I would say I pray and get connected to the most high GOD

[@JoycelynArkoh-t7c]

Do u need to block them after break up

[@joannav6638]

Im.sorry but this is very generic

[@wintergreen1784]

Tip 3 hit extra on this re-watch☀️💐💗 tyty

[@jessicafoster4909]

Are you taking any new clients?

[@marufgazi9025]

20:36💗💒 💫 ... 22/07 mon🎵💛

[@marufgazi9025]

Thankuu 🎉... 21:04 🎉

[@jazzy47827]

Good Advice

[@khonaniblktv]

Thanks Steph❤its been a year