Couples Therapist | 10 Tips For Good Communication!

[@heatherl.8575]

I've been having issues lately and found this channel as a result. I ended up using these strategies mid video as a conversation came up and it really helped. Thank you so much!

[@StephAnya]

So glad it was helpful for you! ♥️

[@irinaifraimova3127]

Praying for my friends lives longs times goods healthys be healthys bigs healthys be loves goods healthys goods loves bigs money's Blessings money's Blessings healthys stay healthys be healthys bigs moneys blessings moneys happy moneys blessings moneys happy moneys blessings loves Blessings loves Blessings loves

[@irinaifraimova3127]

Amen Jesus

[@irinaifraimova3127]

Praying for irina ifraimova lives longs times goods healthys be healthys bigs healthys Blessings healthys blessings healthys healthys amazing healthys have a great healthys have a great healthys have a great healthys blessing healthys amazing healthys healthys loves healthys marriage healthys relationship healthys loves Blessings money's

[@irinaifraimova3127]

Amen Jesus my friends

[@SweetestHoney86]

When you said intellectualizing was a defense mechanism, I almost shut down my computer. I didn't click to be attacked like this 🤣🤣🤣.

[@josephyates870]

😂😂🤣

[@StephAnya]

Hahaha I'm working on these myself, so no judgement!

[@NDObeats]

🤣

[@rmy_Youtube]

😂😂😂😂

[@naniandrea3344]

🤣🤣

[@tenetennba6529]

The ''repeating back'' thing is something my partner and I already do naturally because we both have a different native language and are communicating in our second/third language. It is really a good thing.

[@ZMihu]

I'm on the same situation and the number of times it has saved us from a fight loll we realized we're not even talking about the same thing

[@torianichole831]

When my husband and I were teenagers we used to argue a lot and one thing that really helped us talk through our issues without yelling or anything was to talk about things in a book store.

[@StephAnya]

Oh I love that so much

[@l2344hdhn]

10 TIPS: 1. SET CLEAR INTENTIONS 2. CREATE A SAFE ATMOSPHERE 3. SPEAK SLOWLY 4. BE CONCISE 5. UNDERSTANDABLE LANGUAGE 6. WATCH YOUR BODY LANGUAGE 7. AVOID SARCASM 8. SPEAK FROM THE ''I'' POSITION 9. STAY ON TOPIC 10. AVOID SHIFTING BLAME Barriers to Communication 1. Loud Noise 2. Stress

[@jucxox]

Many thanks!

[@jay_stack1270]

Thank you 🎉

[@ETV2019]

This is great !!!

[@Cutthecoke]

Shit just worked for me seriously

[@KJMacoustic]

the hardest part of reflective listening is being patient and being non-judgmental of what you're hearing. it is also a hard concept to understand that you can talk to somebody and not have to agree with what they say and you can express it in such a way that it isn't callus or invalidating what they have to say

[@StephAnya]

Completely agree! People really struggle with how slow paced it can be when you’re first practicing it.

[@iamgalatia]

Currently going thru a tough situation with my gf of 3 years. We have a kid together. The body language part really hit me because there were times where my Ego would not let me hear her out. I hope that I can become a better man for her and my child at the end of the day. Thanks for this video

[@s.m.5139]

I found you from GQ’s video ! I wish you had a podcast, I could listen to you talking about these topics for hours. It’s very peaceful 🙏🏻

[@StephAnya]

Maybe one day! I did guest on a great podcast called, 'Art Is Human Nature'. Look for the episode titled, "At Your Best You Are Love"

[@NDObeats]

I think you might have been legit mad at me in those re-enactments. Looks too convincing 👀 🤣 Great video!

[@StephAnya]

*Muahaha* we’ll never know 👀

[@totalliferelax]

These were some awesome tips. This kind of content literally NEVER expires and is so important. Thank you! And if you ever need to relax, I can help! 💖

[@StephAnya]

I’m glad that you think so! Thank you! I will 🤗

[@TheSocialGuyPodcast]

Avoiding sarcasm is my personal struggle in relationship communication. I'm trying to share some information for others as well and I found your channel as a result. I'm just starting on this journey but I'm really hoping to give back to couples and familys on healthy relationship tactics! Thank you for sharing!

[@insanegamer112]

One BONUS Tip - Try to make your relationships interesting. Play some couple question games like lovify. In this game, you have to guess your partners likes. It helps in two way communication. No Arguments. Pure Feelings. Share Expectations.

[@robertovazquez246]

I recently found this video, and I found this video to be very informative because my wife and I are trying to finds ways to better communicate with eachother. I took notes so I can practice with myself because I'm trying to avoid divorce and I'm trying to keep my family together

[@yoliswamlungwana3647]

Wow, this is the type of content I need in my life🌼🌼. Communication in relationships (platonic or romantic) is so important, and sometimes you might think you are communicating really well, and then, upon further reflection, you realize that there's still room for improvement. Thanks for this😁🙏🏽 Question: do you have some tips on how to maintain healthy communication skills in stressful or highly emotionally charged situations?

[@dr.suezettealoysiaandcarla1664]

Great question and comment 🤩👈🏽 Happy Friday Friends

[@raularmas317]

Have you gotten a response from Stephanya? In stressful situations with potentially volatile people I found it's best to start by taking a few deep breaths before you say a word, stick with "I" statements. Bring the timber of your voice as low and steady as possible. Avoid the accusative case(you this..., And you that...). There is a scene in the movie Grosse Point Blank where John Cusack deals with a drunk/high ex high school peer who begins to feel anger toward the Cusack character. Cusack questions him by saying something like: do you think there is something going on between us? Because there is no us. I thought that was a great way to diffuse an immenent argument. Hope this helps.

[@lolitaaskew6098]

Your videos are helping me with my marriage ministry. Much peace and blessings to you❤

[@kaylabarkie9192]

I think your channel might actually save my relationship. I can’t thank you enough. We see a therapist in person but you really speak to us. We both understand you and it’s spoken so clearly. Thank you so much!

[@cafeadicto]

Did it help ?

[@dyamondscott130]

I really appreciate the communication tips thank you so much

[@StephAnya]

Thank you for watching ♥️

[@rosangel93]

The crazy thing is I’ve been communicating the right way the whole time! Lol everything you said I’m like “yup” “done” “did that” in my head. My partner does exactly what you say not to do. It’s stressful & draining at the least.

[@keturahwhitfield3745]

Exactly. I intellectualize though. lol. Everything else my husband does and it’s getting out of control and driving me insane.

[@lulzhh5177]

It takes two to make a relationship work to be honest. If one person isn’t cooperating and doesn’t do what they should do. It can’t really work.

[@bruhman951]

I was looking for this exact comment I have literally tried all of these things consistently knowing that they don't work overnight but my partner does everything these videos say don't do. Then she tells me that I did try to communicate in a healthy way but yet she doesn't try any of the strategies whatsoever. I'm being driven insane to the point sometimes I have serious negative thoughts about myself that I do not want to disclose here. I don't have much patience left and every counseling or therapy video will allude to patience being a very important aspect. I hope me and my partner can make things work. . .

[@rosangel93]

@@bruhman951 yeah it’s super exhausting! Constantly trying & having the convo that you feel will be the break through only for it to go back to the same old disfunction 😔

[@maddiepilz5711]

Thank you so much, that is really helpful! Also, I love your hair! ☺️

[@StephAnya]

I’m so glad that you think so. And thanks so much!

[@user-th1th1ot8d]

I need you. You hit on EVERYTHING!!! I MEAN EVERYTHING! ADHD+ PTSD+ (one other acronym that she refuses to tell me what it is) partners are torcher!

[@kennysincere2139]

Thank u so much for your simple, yet counterintuitive perspective. Im am learning so much

[@StephAnya]

Glad it was helpful for you! Thank you for watching!

[@kathleen2382]

Would you be able to do a video on how to have a healthy relationship when have childhood trauma?

[@StephAnya]

Yes, I’ll try to gather some information on the areas of a relationship that struggle the most. I know that trust is a big one.

[@denisehill1674]

I had no idea that employing certain guidelines would improve communications. Yet, hearing it from you it makes so much sense. I thank you.

[@khalilahjackson2059]

Just got into my first serious relationship without any toxicity and these videos help me navigate the empathetic way of doing things!! Thank you for the information 💗

[@Grantly420]

Thank you, found this helpful. This is the sort of thing that should be explicitly covered in grade school.

[@wilienrossouw9139]

I know most advise is speaking from the I position. I found myself often at cross roads where when I do I am told I am selfish when I don't I am blaming. When I am letting my feeling know and tell what makes me sad or anxious I am playing the victim, but when I don't I am always acting as a hero.... 💁🏼‍♀️I have know Idea how to communicate anymore. I have just discovered your channel. Hope I can get some clarity...

[@miaashly7]

Thank you! This was definitely helpful as I continue my journey to become an MFT. And for personal life.

[@StephAnya]

You're so welcome! Thank you for watching, and good luck on your journey to MFT!

[@tiamelancholyjeoncockity]

This is literally one of the best and most useful channel I’ve found, I’m so happy I came across this by accident 😭💗

[@kenbrooks-fj6fv]

yeah, me too

[@amyj.4992]

Walk away with a better understanding! Yes, exactly 💯 Repeat/ confirm, denies, or refutes. Creating safe spaces, to speak concisely with careful thought (work on my tangents) using proper words. Using I statements. Intellectualize is a defense mechanism. Set partner up for success, being clear and on topic with empathy and checking in on partner. The thing stressing you out, is the conversation that needs to be had.

[@staciyates3758]

Such great advice! Beautiful Hair!!

[@StephAnya]

Thanks so much! ♥️😘

[@ratashaalexander5795]

Did not even know how much I needed this! 2a d half pages of notes with applicable & relatable examples and scripts just blew my mind! I definitely have some inner work on #1,#6 & 10! Thank you so much for dropping all of these gems!❤❤

[@StephAnya]

Sooo glad that you found it helpful!

[@imani5020]

Loved this video thank you! I feel with communication theres always room for improvement very useful to think about these things in the future.

[@kurtyoung2599]

Just subscribed to your channel after watching "10 phrases to avoid in your relationship" helpful and definitely passing the information along.

[@StephAnya]

Thank you!

[@alexiscrockett9931]

I needed to see this video because I’ve noticed I do alot of the Dont do’s .this made merealize like I do have things to work on .now I see what my partner was saying .so glad I came across this video…💯🗣️

[@StephAnya]

I love seeing people be able to identify these habits within themselves and opportunities to improve!

[@Marie_bun]

Hi Steph, I’m wondering if you could do a video (or if you already have?) on couples who have one primarily emotional person and one primarily logical person, and how to meet in the middle so that it’s not all “annoying confusing feelings” or “cold rationality”. Thank you!!

[@StephAnya]

I sort of touch on this in my communication styles video. Take a look at that one and let me know what's missing from that for you and I can make another video!

[@ericawilliams3349]

Same .

[@rosalees.5318]

I agree!

[@dnielgln]

Oh wow! Wow wow I need this too!!

[@carytreasure]

@@StephAnya was this ever made?

[@sin3358]

Exactly on time!! This is what I needed, you're a gem ❤️

[@StephAnya]

So glad!

[@kenbrooks-fj6fv]

well said

[@JarisaM]

You inspire me. I wish I had the drive to become a licensed social worker who invests into continuously educating myself through books and whatnot. I’m too lazy and my 6 years of college drained me in many ways… at first what I wanted after deciding to focus my career more on ppl over animals, was to be a therapist but later realized I did not want the baggage that comes with direct cases/clientele/one-on-one sessions (ended up going for SW since it’s a similar but much broader field). Another reason I changed from therapy is I realized how much I dislike all the paperwork aspect and other super tedious elements I did not enjoy in fieldwork. I currently am just a BSW graduate with some things below my belt related to working with animals. I’ve always loved animals & they are my #2 passion after God ❤️ (helping people is #3). My dream job rn would be an animal-assisted therapy assistant or something similar (assistant to avoid the sessions and paperwork 😩🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️). I’m really just tryna make any low-maintenance impact :( almost like an “easy” job that’s still very purposeful and fulfilling. I want a job where I can go home knowing I made a significant difference/impact with my gifts but without having to carry work-related duties out with me. I would love if you could respond although I did leave a whole lot in just one comment 😅🙈 either way, I love your videos and like I said you really inspire me 💕 God bless you ☺️

[@time4sign]

I love ❤all of advise. Feel I have a good grasp on effective communication. I struggle with my husband taking offence to me attempting using these principles. I end up very frustrated at the end of the conversation. When he rolls his eyes or walks away or looks at his phone it hurts me so bad. Then we argue things are said that are not meant. Honestly we are progressing. But we don't always avoid arguments. So thank you. For reaffirming what I practice. I hope he watches this and it reaches his heart.

[@boayden9971]

Thanks you so much. This video is very helpfull. Also for work. This make me hit the 🔔👍🏿🙋🏿‍♀️

[@StephAnya]

Awesome! Thank you!

[@werrarefamily3448]

I did that a lot in my marriage that ended after 14 years always trying to tell her what she was meaning to say to me not fully understanding or trying to understand that she wasn't trying to control or change me I wish I really would have communicated a lot better Instead of walking away coming back in hopes everything was dropped without further communicating on the subject not to be or give off narcissistic ways but in hopes it all goes away, After getting the help I know I needed through therapy and in prayer I put forth more of an effort to be a better friend than I was a husband weather or not I stand another chance with her she was an STILL IS MI WORLD. Ty for this podcast I really needed this.

[@Prettyflydiy]

As usual so helpful and therapeutic!! I love the elevation I've seen in the quality of the video with the re-enactment! Content fire as always! Can you please cover how a couple can heal and communicate after infidelity/ an affair?? I would love to hear your expertise and perspective on this!

[@meganstovall8383]

Honestly this is much needed for me because when I communicate I literally would repeat what me and my bf talked about a few days ago. But now looking at the video is really a huge help

[@Serenity_escapes]

I love these videos you post, my partner doesn't feel comfortable opening up to a therapist. This environment is much more welcoming for him. Thank you

[@PieceOfThePieWithTy]

Man.... I Love This!!

[@kerrycreel4776]

You are very very well spoken and intelligent young person. Eloquent is the word I think! Your clients are blessed to have you! Thanks for the very informative video!

[@kerrycreel4776]

I’m so guilty of using big words to sound smarter and win. Thanks for calling me out, I’m going to try your tips!☺️

[@AlexandraAxel]

I was looking for a good way to break down Imago for a client to watch with her wife and this was super helpful! Thank you.

[@evenif7431]

This is great, thank you!

[@StephAnya]

Thanks for watching ♥️

[@nejmeartist]

I love using story examples to explain and communicate

[@ericamanger1033]

Hey there. 3rd year MACP here. I have my first coupe with a lot of issues at hand. Very informative video for our next session

[@morgangutierrez2319]

Hi Steph! I was wondering if you have any tips for long distance relationships, specifically how to adjust to changing to a long distance relationship when you have never done distance with this partner? I will be studying abroad next semester and want to put my best foot forward for my relationship and education.

[@StephAnya]

Hi Morgan! That's a great video suggestion! I'll do some research and see if I can make tips video for long distance relationships specifically.

[@yolandamlungwana3133]

Yes, we definitely love these kinds of videos!🙏🙏 Really trying to be better at relationship-ping, and communication is definitely a big part of that, so thank you🙏🙏😁😁 Question: how do you juggle maintaining your relationships (in general) when you, and your loved ones, have busy schedules (like maybe juggling grad-school and work)?

[@susieneves9596]

You were very helpful I appreciate everything that you said thank you you can’t force someone to love you that Hass to come on. It’s on the communication I get, but the love Hass to come with it.

[@ahshakyadams-carrington1548]

I've listened attentively to what you've said and quiet frankly you have addressed factors that I have with my husband for years however, being emotionally intelligent I've accepted my communication issues that affect our relationship and I again will attempt to work on my poor communication habits. Not before sharing this video to my husband. I've communicated a lot of issues you've mentioned but when issues arise he goes right back and do the same thing. Eventually I react also.

[@fredwilliams3194]

this is touching on almost all of the issues my partner is facing

[@dna7704]

First time watching her videos ,and I love them!! Very glad I clicked on her channel. 😍

[@BreannaQ]

Thank you so much I found these tip’s extremely helpful I took notes and will hang it up and study it daily ! I feel confident that I can communicate more effectively now!

[@beatrizhilgert6693]

Amazing tips. So functional… Thank you so much ❤️

[@mikaelaanglin6048]

Great video! Reminded me of Imago dialogue

[@muhab_cod6743]

Word!

[@lexih5705]

This is the best explanation on communication I ever heard thanks , great channel!

[@Miss.Bri_]

Just watched this video and I’m already ready to set a couples therapy appointment with you

[@azizasimmons3213]

This is really great. Thank you. Please share more strategies for changing bad communication habits or dysfunctional communication. How do you change or break bad communication dynamics and establish new ones?

[@alexouadg6784]

me and my ex have been trying to work on things and its been so incredibly challenging communicating with him. he always cuts me off when i speak and invalidates what i say, as well as not listening to me when i speak. then him speaking to me like this reinforces me to cut him off and do these things and its just a negative cycle. i hate it and it is so stressful. its been tense for 5 months now

[@mylestaylor9877]

I love the video it was helpful and informative, but the body language is what’s hit home for me

[@krlhopedealer]

Thank you sis! This really helped my relationship.

[@stevensantora2976]

Great video Steph. I am so glad I found your channel. It has truly been helping me, thank you so much.

[@StephAnya]

I'm so glad!

[@ashleyrose8417]

your advice has been so helpful on how to build intimacy and how to communicate effectively. i would love to hear your advice on tips for couples that are going through trust issues after emotional infidelity. please and thank you!!

[@louisa3928]

Very helpful thank you ❤✨

[@ezstproductions_]

Thank you!

[@StephAnya]

Thanks for watching

[@saradaly8000]

The speak slowly section got me.I constantly have to give my fiancé a signal that he is losing me (I have a.d.h.d.) due to either a 1.tangent, 2.an analogy that doesn't makes sense to me because it is too far for my literal mind to access or 3. He uses vocabulary incorrectly and I need to stop him to clarify what he is trying to say because, again I am very literal and he is not. It breeds a lot of miscommunication.

[@GOODYJAMES001]

Love the way you speak

[@StephAnya]

Awww thank you ♥️

[@londoproductions]

This was such a great video! You hit a lot of points I’ve agree with and some thing I have to do better with! Thank you

[@erikaTam760]

I’m having problems we will have our first session this week. I just don’t know how we got to this point. I feel so broken and just wish there was a rest button. This video helped me understand a few things that we do.

[@divinecreation1981]

This was so sweet and reassuring. I absolutely loved it and I just subscribed ❤️

[@MCain-halo360]

First time viewers. I have been having the most stressful 8 months (relationship wize)in my current 8 month relationship I NEED HELP😢

[@Kendratree]

This was super useful!

[@cathydavis5456]

So excited to learn from you! You are outstanding!

[@teahouse861]

I am going to try this even though I have good communication im going to try.

[@jasminedenise6232]

You hit everything I needed to hear 🙏🏾 💯

[@m.lstern5616]

Such great content, thanks for making this information accessible :)

[@StephAnya]

Thank you!!

[@don_Jean96]

Yes girl yes , thank you ❤

[@laquichiaedwards5346]

Need videos on getting back into the dating scene after along break. What are good conversations to have.

[@derricksteward3778]

Thank you! This video was very helpful. 👍🏽💯

[@jessicacarroll8298]

This video is amazing. Thank YOU!!

[@StephAnya]

You're so welcome! Thank you for watching!!

[@david_roper]

Really helpful tips. Thanks for these!

[@Hawkknight88]

Super helpful. Thank you for the video.

[@karrmen7972]

Thanks for this video Steph Anya, LMFT

[@karrmen7972]

I just need to learn how to communicate with my partner rather than shutting down the way he says things sometimes I get offended so I’m going to watch some more of your videos. Steph Anya, LMFT

[@keithkirby2194]

This was very helpful. Subscribed!

[@alessadolan5718]

I thought i never needed these types of video lol, thank you! 💗

[@rachelwhanger2680]

These videos on communication are so helpful!! I always believed I was a good communicator but... No but at all! Haha, esp in my relationship. These videos help! Thank you!

[@StephAnya]

So glad that you’re finding them helpful!

[@skh1105]

When I told my partner I wanted him to look at me when I talk to him, and not be watching TV...he told me that I'm just trying to control him and he said don't tell me what to do. But all I wanted was basic respect.

[@shondacheesecake]

Good tips. Makes a lot of sense.

[@donaldfrench3696]

It sounds like the "Clearing the Air" technique.

[@iriaortiz1843]

How you communicate with someone who isn’t talkative? Only talks here and there and when mad? Am the type of person that I like to talk about anything 😅 when an argument happens, I want to talk right away(which something am working on, to have some space after one) Another thing. We were doing good, but after struggling financially. It’s like we can’t see eye to eye sometimes How you deal with problems when facing financial struggles?

[@marciagrair2407]

This was so helpful. Going to use it.

[@ameliablackmon5757]

Omg I have been binge watching your channel?! You are beautiful inside and out and you are exactly what life needs. My Question is do u have any tips on dealing with a mate that has mental disorders? I struggle with things but he really struggles with bipolar depression. What do I do with that? Lol love your channel queen!

[@jaylinam6181]

Thank you I wrote down everything I really appreciate it I want to be able to communicate with her

[@kaseymata1627]

BYE THE INTELLECTUALIZING PART IS ME 😭

[@StephAnya]

😂😂

[@ScottH-e7y]

Stay on topic better understanding

[@Marie_bun]

You are amazing, keep going!! I also loved your Insider videos on film scenes

[@StephAnya]

Thank you so much!!