Stepmom Guilt| What I Wish I Knew When I First Became A Stepmom, Podcast Ep 03

Nobody tells you about the guilt involved once you become a stepmom, There's a lot I wish I knew going in. Oddly the guilt manifests in ways that never crossed your mind. Today I dive deep into the lessons I learned and share tips to help you maneuver in a blended family.
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[@TheIrenestandard]

I admire how you gracefully handled this blended family thing! Guilt is a sign that you value other people’s feelings than your own and that speaks volume of who you are as a person. You are extremely kind and that goes a long way❤

[@FashionableStepMum]

Thank you for your kind words. I’d definitely Find myself always considering othered before myself. But we found a way to work through it 💖

[@joankizito8437]

These are the real conversations that society needs to hear. Good lessons to pick

[@wangecigakure3296]

You don't know how this podcast has helped a young stepmom here....shukran🙏🏼

[@FashionableStepMum]

Your response also helps me keep sharing! Thank you 🤍

[@elegancewithalicemuhirwa9680]

Blended family have their own dynamics that I even feel like there is less experts in supporting our dynamics, most parents in blended families navigate life with so much guilt, insecurities and feeling like you are not doing enough . Having someone like you who has chosen to share your journey is so empowering and reassuring. Be blessed as you continue sharing your journey.

[@beatricemusyoka2168]

Excellent conversion , Thank you for sharing we are encouraged. I have a blended family . I got married to a widower . He waited for close to eight years before He remarried. It's not easy to be in a blended family , it only needs God's Grace .

[@abbiezuena]

Loved this episode, I believe the biggest conviction about us step mums is the reality that you will judged more about how your step kids turn out that your own children. But we try our best to love all the children unconditionally and trust God in the process that everything works out well.

[@tuiyastudio4463]

Aren't society's constructs something fascinating to discuss? It's truly incredible how group behavior holds such a powerful influence, more than we often realize. With hindsight being 20/20, it serves as a gentle reminder to embrace a cheerful and carefree attitude towards others' opinions and instead focus on what truly brings you joy and fulfillment in life.

[@mercyshish3773]

Oh my..this is so raw..felicitations girl..am a step mom too..but luckily my step boys were grown..and since I got a girl (the family hasn't had a girl for over 50 years)maybe that helped..but kudos..wasn't easy with the younger boy..but we are so close now.divorce affects kids alot.

[@ThePatriciaPatrick]

Wowwww thanks for sharing your story. Had a baby a few months ago and sometimes feel bad when I have to protect baby from the other kids who are just being kids around a baby.

[@ruvarasheruzive7870]

Thank you so much for sharing this. I was born to a mom that was already a stepmom to my dads three kids from three different moms. She was treated with so much suspicion and I’ve dated guys with their own children and I’ve seen myself carrying stepmom guilt in relationships. This is relatable and valuable. Thank you for sharing

[@FashionableStepMum]

Thank you for sharing! Glad to know I’m not alone 🤍

[@divineturnaround]

am camping here kutiwa nguvu katika hii safari...coz weeh... i wish i knew this before nijiingize ndani... i hope God will build my family someday to blend na iwe this mature...

[@njerilinda]

I love the honesty. Thanks for shedding light on the challenges a stepmom goes through. Definitely camping here for more content

[@mercykamau8288]

So inspiring to hear what you went through GUILT I can relate am a step mom too am trying to get out of it slowly one day I will tell my story God bless all the honest and loving step mums including you Cathy it’s never easy we carry the cross

[@Pamtheentrepreneur]

Thank you for this podcast. It has really helped me to be me without feeling guilty.

[@sarahmutabazi18]

I love you fashionable stepmom your so cool, I watched your videos while I was single, it so happens the man am getting married to has a child from a previous relationship, thank you for sharing and making the journey of stepmother hood manageable. I was scared but i feel am not alone

[@D33Beloved]

I'm about to marry a father of 4 and his as majority custody. I really needed this podcast

[@shalomandrest]

heeee mimi mtoto wangu will get my full attention, i refuse all these guilts in jesus name , i will not compensate to anyone on this one wueh ! haki nakataa, thank you for this !

[@sharonemordi]

Thank you so much for sharing your wealth of wisdom on this difficult subject. 🎉🎉❤

[@Mteulepioneers2024]

The fact that you are so real 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 makes it so beautiful.

[@VivianKuvare11]

This was so good, I can relate especially when it comes to overcompensating. I feel guilty for not giving my baby as much attention cause I need to ensure that my bonus kids also feel loved with the newborn being in the picture.

[@FashionableStepMum]

I wish I just showered Shawn with the love and attention looking back. But we movec

[@hopenanyaro2470]

You should have coz no matter what you do as a step mum. It will never enough enough. Sometimes you can only do what is enough. I wish I could share my experience with you been through so much and I know you just do enough and never forget yourself or your baby. They have their mother and their mum doesn’t buy anything for your baby so make sure you don’t neglect your because of the guilt.

[@goodstepmother8033]

Last year I had a friend tell me her kid's step mom isn't a real mom. That hurt me a lot as a step mom. I felt hit by the guilt she was throwing at the step mom in her child's life.

[@africanqueenmo]

You're very raw and uncut love this. I'm an older step mum and resonate with your experiences somewhat except that the bio mum is not in the picture so it's a little different. Not easier.

[@FashionableStepMum]

I get what you mean. Sometimes it’s even tougher if the bio parents are deceased. The comparison gets even more

[@africanqueenmo]

@@FashionableStepMum or abandoned their children even worse I'd rather have a fight on my hands with the bio mum insisting on a relationship with their child.

[@lucywanjirumacharia9623]

judgment almost killed me ..most would ask about his kid .Mimi nko tu hapo .well addressed thanks

[@Grace-W]

Thank you for your podcast which is really needed. Thank you for stepping up and filling the gap.

[@ruthmutonyi5542]

Thank you for sharing your lessons and journey with us. Very insightful!!

[@marjorywaweru155]

Keep it up fashionable step mum.. Awesome podcast.

[@WahuKiragu]

Wow. So wonderful.Thank you. Kathy.❤

[@yolz555]

❤ this was insightful. Lot of love

[@pauladenise8250]

I don't know how to comment on this one . . Thank God you are in a different space now.

[@blossomparangi-lualua2239]

Im a step mom and i can confirm this how i felt as well but now i dont but i love my step daughter so much i get so so heartbroken when i hesr her mum wanting to move far away from us so we wont be able to see my step daughter i swear her mum does this any chance she has a guy show up in her life she does this to me and my partner which is her ex and threatens to take him to court this that if he trys to stop her but hunni noone stopping u relax stop stirring up trouble and making us the bad guys and once the man leave u heartbroken whose there to pick up the pieces me and my partner even she asks me for help im there but i get hurt in the end cause shell do the same thing once i man comes in her life she wants to take my step daughter far away and even far from her father i dont think thats fair at all...even after all the help my partner does for her like buying smokes for her addiction which used to make me mad but his reason was or else shell spend all the money on it and theres nothing left for her kid his kid... and i hate that she has that hold on him but i respect him enough to trust he knows what hes doing.. once u stop feeding the negative energy it will turn on them eventually and it has i have to accept that this will happen whether her bio mum will take her daughter away from us and leave us heartbroken i have to accept it and let my step daughter know i love her so much but im also afraid shell pick up after her mum i also have to accept that.

[@blossomparangi-lualua2239]

I love your accent so beautiful 💗 you are beautiful aswell ☺️

[@thrivetalk90]

You are Gold!

[@suihtflava]

I have seen good stepmums and really evil stepmums. In Kenyan communities they say " Mama wa kambo sio mama". This is so wrong on all levels. I have come to challenge this notion, especially where stepmoms use this as an excuse to be inhuman and mistreat the children they found in that home. There is no valid reason whatsover to mistreat children. It's plain inhuman and evil. I applaud stepmoms who accept and treat well kids who are not their own.

[@FashionableStepMum]

Well said 👏👏👏

[@shalomandrest]

thank you, i really needed this !

[@raquelsasha8426]

Guilt while pregnant can be extremely devastating, it does turn to overcompensation.

[@anamwan3159]

Quite inspiring Cathy

[@lindamuringo6422]

Looking for this video

[@childofgod.226]

I think you did not love yourself enough and you wanted to be nice and please everyone. For me i told my husband this are my first experiences and deeded to enjoy every step of the way.I have 3 children.He was in 2 marriages before with 5kids.Put yourself first and love your child don't skip any stages of his life growing up.Others will grow up and live then you will be left with your own.

[@thegodlyprincess_kenya]

so vulnerable!!!

[@dee_thedaisy]

Loved it

[@elynnkatha5167]

I love your content ❤

[@jaquelinemutitu8937]

I love your content

[@smilenovember7287]

Watching from South Sudan juba 🙏🥰

[@cellobeauty6567]

That wig WOW

[@nancybash1814]

Babes, you were also a BADDIE and that was 99.98% of the problem with those women… This happens to pretty girls who aren’t even coupled up

[@purityowuor2634]

I have a step daughter who told me her mum told her she'll only stay with us when she's at 18,reason being stepmoms hutesa watu

[@FashionableStepMum]

Oh no 😢 I hope you challenged that notion.

[@purityowuor2634]

@@FashionableStepMum told her not all, others are good, we've try creating bonds but her mom weeh

[@twoten2547]

But 90% of them are toxic.

[@Mayberlynne]

​@@twoten2547this generation?? No

[@mueniMululu]

@@purityowuor2634 i can relate 💯💯

[@estherwangui8449]

Wow great content.....

[@paulinemakaishewangendo6612]

Here to learn even if am not one because weeh , guilt be in many ways.Thank You for this

[@HellenKungu-k5y]

❤💕

[@DinahKanake]

Imposter syndrome is terrible to deal with

[@carolineodhiambo3270]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@noelorraine]

The way I relate to all these guilts😅😅😅it's a daily thing..The saddest thing in all of it is that you sacrifice your biological child experiences with you and your husband

[@FashionableStepMum]

So true. But it’s good to know your reality and actively work towards giving your child the experience they deserve 💖

[@twoten2547]

I hope Karen Nyamu will see this podcast and tell us about her experience.

[@M.e749]

You are lost here Karen nyamu issue is very different

[@martharinebiseko1457]

I guess people treated Yr the way they did coz.......your presence wd not allow the first lady and her hubby try to sort out their issues

[@FashionableStepMum]

Again I repeat it wasn’t my mess and it’s easier than blame the neutral party

[@xtine8923]

Just wondering, wouldn't/ shouldn't the men work harder than this to make sure it's easier on step mums. Thanks for sharing, very insightful

[@zen1753]

She was not part of the problem and a man/woman is allowed to move on with a new partner if a marriage is over.