Hey Steve: What Are My Boyfriend's Intentions?

A young lady in my audience had a question about her mans intentions, I think you deserve to know what I had to say.
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[@WhiteTigerLuva80]

“I mess with you?” That’s something you say to a side piece 🙄 4 yrs? Boy bye!!!!!

[@hhh2641]

L Thompson she’s the side piece, but she doesn’t want to acknowledge it.

[@tinahuttner7280]

@@hhh2641 that's for dam sure especially if he ain't the old school and tradition type of person when it comes to love and marriage.

[@daybyday966]

Bye and bye,🤣

[@sexyladyakb]

L Thompson okay! He wouldn’t have made it past like month 2

[@icetray2727]

She’s just a part of his rotation

[@butyoucancallmesam]

The audience answered for Steve 😂

[@lexiscarr20]

😂😂

[@fae1932]

It's hard to let it go, but once you do. It's the best feeling in the world ✌❤

[@INFORMATIVESITUATIONS]

@ FAE 19- ABSOLUTELY!!

[@thickianaaa2286]

🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@falisabdullahi911]

i tell you that !👏🏾

[@scooterlovya]

The Best!!! FreeeEdom

[@yollandemwenda4711]

@@thickianaaa2286 my

[@xyzpanther5487]

How do you see someone for four years!?

[@maasz5587]

Like how

[@EveryDayPray]

I just asked the same question out loud.

[@noonelikeyou13]

xyz panther i actually had to pause for a second when she said it .. 4 years ? That’s undergrad right there . And for those who did undergrad y’all know you can’t be undecided for too long ..gotta pick a major .. a title or something..

[@MegaCadette55]

@@noonelikeyou13 lmfao I like the way u put it.u my dear, are a genius!

[@xyzpanther5487]

@@noonelikeyou13 exactly

[@SpeakUpWorld]

4 years and you don't know. He doing what you letting him do

[@marieabner]

She's the side chick.

[@fromspace7]

Oooooh you might be right...didn't think of that

[@metsl1870]

most likely

[@trevalbrown1881]

Yes she is

[@ramonpeters9608]

My first thought. She has no idea lolol

[@fa89ko]

A lot of people these days are not even boyfriends and girlfriends..they wanna live without a title .. So girl leave this man and find a better one ..a man treats you the way you allow him to treat you

[@lvncsr6166]

Better yet, let the right man find you.

[@rikanejose2611]

@Chad Payne Well if she's not girlfriend material why stay with her and lead her on? Would you want a woman to lead you on and lie to you?

[@rashardstallworth9240]

@@rikanejose2611 You just heard one side of the story. Plus you have no idea what type of person she is.

[@prncessbaby16]

Yea when I was dating my husband, he asked to be my boyfriend, he never said "we're just kicking it" but he also told me before our first date that he was looking for something serious anyway and if I wasn't, then he didn't have time to play games.

[@duygua1286]

Agree!

[@MJ-sl4fj]

She not listening to anything Mr. Steve is saying, she's just going to keep putting out because they have "great chemistry" SMH

[@mskreme76]

Steve went straight to the point. I've noticed that many of the questions the ladies ask is about the same thing. Steve gives them the same answer but in a different way. Bottom line is that we as ladies have to stop settling for anyone just to have a relationship, and not be afraid to wait on God for the special man He has for each of us. That may mean being by ourselves for a season, as God prepares us for His best. We may be alone for a brief minute and have to wait, but it will be well worth it!

[@godslittlegirl]

Amen sister!

[@ronkeoyelana4192]

You nailed it sis.

[@skel760]

What does “God” have to do with it. Why doesn’t God keep women away from these users, these disrespectful, selfish men? Why doesn’t he stop these jerks from messing with other humans? But he will “send” you the right one. 🙄 I guess he lock and chooses who he “blesses”

[@bgntjohnson]

Even total strangers have good chemistry (in bed)... that still doesn't mean that he's serious. That's just called lust and sex. As soon as you get up, he's already over it. As long as you allow it, he's coming back for more. Love yourself and believe God for someone that's going to love you, empower you, respect you, value you, honor you, love himself, love and honor God.

[@4cistasonly897]

Brenda J hell , even outside of sex, I can have good chemistry /convo with someone ( a stranger that may be heading home to his family)🚗

[@bgntjohnson]

@@4cistasonly897 That is very true.

[@brooklynforever1990]

Yup she's confusing attraction with relationship potential. Meanwhile he is showing and telling her exactly what it is a "mess". 🤷

[@fromspace7]

AMEN! Preach!!

[@fromspace7]

...and COMMIT to you!

[@juicyfruit4709]

If he shut down move on. To someone else that knows what he wants. Girl do not waste no more time on him. Be like a ghost. You are right Steve keeping it real.

[@shemab2639]

I think she already knew the answer to that question. 😦😞

[@meowkris]

Girl he is playing around. 4 years? Nope.

[@jolainedecoste4686]

She's playing too!!!

[@trevalbrown1881]

Y man are playing a round with all this good girls i want a good girl and can not rind enery

[@tanafoster4072]

Exactly! Absolutely not....

[@susandahlseide1438]

Even the simplest job has a title. Dating is time limited. It expires at six months. If it’s not going anywhere then you go somewhere.

[@MommyE0709]

Four years is too long to not know what's going on with that relationship. I would have left a long time ago. Life is short and I agree with Steve that after college you too old to be like we just kicking it.

[@mariekiraly100]

I wish I had all this advice when I was younger. I was totally clueless. TOTALLY.

[@alinaserrano6816]

I effin love Harvey, wish I had someone like him around when I was putting up with all these loser's thinking that's what love was.

[@jonathandavidpatterson6643]

This is the part where they show kills me. If a woman is halfway dating a guy for 4 years then he is half of the problem, then she is the other. Society needs to stop thinking it's always a man's mess. For 4 years, it was everybody's mess.

[@faithshaya3713]

Ummm girl run, I don’t think she need to be asking anymore, he clearly told her “we are messing “ the next time you ask him he will tell u what u wanna hear just to make you stay and before you know it its 10 years already. I think she should move on and forget about him.

[@thetruthhurt1794]

So girl do you have a man or are you his sidechick. We just messing around for 4 yrs. What a waste. Girl what is your 5 year plan for a relationship?

[@msprayerwarrior6904]

He's wasting ur time. I would have been left him. At this point in ur relationship he should have proposed to u by now

[@lordoffrog2354]

ms prayer warrior why doesn’t she propose

[@Jonathan-wj6uh]

Talk about entitlement for someone to say "You shud propose to me in 4 years"

[@whitneyrideout4553]

@@Jonathan-wj6uh Do you feel entitled to get all the benefits from a woman for FOUR YEARS without giving her the respect of the title, your commitment and declaration of love? If so, you are one selfish idiot

[@rosrychaplet]

Walk away

[@rashardstallworth9240]

If she had better options should have been moved on

[@chocolatenikki]

Rashard Stallworth How do you know she doesn’t have better options?? She’s too emotionally and mentally attached, that’s why she hasn’t left.

[@deedeemoore6096]

Yes I agree walk away and never look back and never go back

[@noahmartinez5078]

As a man I'll say this, I know the woman I want to marry. She's been my best friend since I was 19. However, I've always told her I am not ready to marry and I am focusing on my career. If she dates and she finds someone else, that's my loss. But I won't string her along and make her wait because truthfully I don't have the time to love her and focus on me too. Men who love you will be honest.

[@tanafoster4072]

Exactly

[@josec3823]

Congratulations brother! The pure alpha male mindset.

[@jackie1540]

I think you know already what the game is, but you are not ready to let it go. You said the chemistry is out of this world. That is what you have settled for. The guy told you he is "messing with you." What else do you need to hear? He has already told you!

[@JRob594]

Life is short don't let nobody waste your time if he's not treating you right then just leave

[@claritycentral]

I so agree with that boyfriend girlfriend talk. That is for the playground. No one has time for a 3 to 4 year lingering boyfriend...especially women.

[@SoundScientist1]

@2:21- I completely agree with Uncle Steve on this point. For 15-20+ years now, I've looked at 25+ year old ADULT people funny - when they're still talking bout "boyfriend" & "girlfriend." Huh!!! WTH?! You 25-30+ yrs. old & still have a HS mentality?! 😳😳😳

[@thedavecorp]

Our survey SAYS!...

[@jay3414]

I wouldn't need Steve to tell me this, I just don't understand some ppl

[@lucindahiwat9216]

4 years....!!!!!!! That's a college degree right there. He wasting your time girrrrlllll.....

[@caseyjolly8]

True! Some people in relationship like forever. Stop wasting your time. Is either the guy don't love u or u don't love the guy or something just not clicking

[@lisas8080]

This is the second time a young woman has posed this question to Steve in recent weeks. The other was the same: young, beautiful, desperately seeking clarity and a title after 4 YEARS. We've done our young women a disservice. Somehow they've come to believe that they are weak, needy, and the antithesis of feminism to expect commitment and a title. We've been told casual sex/relationships/partners is the mark of independence and freedom - sexual and otherwise. To want clarity in the commitment, hell to even demand commitment, has come to be seen as regressive. In the meantime we play strong, share ourselves and our bodies, and we're lonely as hell getting strung along for 4 years. Ladies - give it 4 months; after that move on.

[@jingyun4323]

You hit the nail on the head. To top it all off, we've weakened our position even further by becoming stronger than men. They now don't even try to provide for us. It's a real shame.

[@tanafoster4072]

Aaaaaaamen!

[@berryjohnson3694]

First of all, why or how is she “dating” someone for 4 years, and not know where y’all stand? One of my first questions is to ask any guy is what do you want from me or out of this? The second is are you gay or have gay tendencies 😂 could be why I’m single but hey I NEED to know. Ain’t no puppet on a string over here. On top of which I think she knows exactly what she is. I hate when women play dumb

[@Adriana-vp1rm]

Yes agree, but a woman doesn't ask the guy where she stands. Your intuition will tell u what it is. And u just walk away.

[@FitYourWayByMelD]

This is what I understood a while ago : if you were to ask a man you've been seeing, "what is this?" "What are we for one another?" "What are we doing?" Just know that there is no serious relationship between you plus!!! You should not ask another person that. How do you call what you are doing? If you dont have a name for it, it means what it means... I would have given her a pass if it was 3 months but 4 years? She is confused and blind

[@florencezhou3655]

LADIES! PLEASE UNDERSTAND THIS!! Believe what a man tells you when you ask these questions! He said he messing with ya, well YES HE IS MESSING WITH YOU!! POINT! BLANK! PERIOD! listen listen. He means it

[@dgpowell]

That's right Uncle Steve. Been there, done that! You were ABSOLUTELY correct in ur answer.

[@mangoz330]

Everything sounds better when Steve says it!

[@ieo92]

Men, just stay single till you get yourself ready in your career and you are ready to raise a family. Do it God's way.

[@TRESA4MEN]

some of these young ladies really don' want to be alone....so they just stay !!

[@perisndirangu1018]

What I have learnt .. in relationship ... is that everybody is on a relationship ....journey .......every man and women .. are in a different stage in their life ... some people are divorced ... and don’t want to be married again .. and want to have fun ... some people ... have kids ... and want others who have kids ...... so it’s all about communication.... coz after 4 yrs ... she might ...find out the guy .., does not want ...the same things as she does ....so girl ..learn from these messy guy and move on ..it’s not to late ..girl

[@Eiramilah]

I knew it was trouble from the time she said 4 years.

[@Kitchywac]

That Boyy know some relationships & gives great advice 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽. Just like an ex addict talking to one still out there.

[@Chasiraw]

Kitchywac YEP!!

[@mrsyoung8503]

Four years and he just mess wit you NO! It’s time to go! Too much time and most importantly energy. I’m not exerting my energy on anybody that just messing with me. NOPE

[@VintageAfro91]

It does NOT take a man 4 years to know what you mean to him. He's wasting her time and even worse, she allowed him to waste her time for four years. Girl, run!

[@anteaglan76]

They still together I bet. And she still asking that question, with the same answer.

[@vocalcoachktsings]

I mess with u. Listen to the words and stop reinterpreting their meaning. Dammit🤦🏽‍♀️

[@andreearistea6012]

If after one year the relationship it s not OFFICIAL you are wasting your time. but there as so many people who are coward or have personal issues and accept being in a relationship that gets NOWHERE... this woman is not a smart one...

[@justruthb]

What this boy is doing is keeping a 'sure thing'! Give him your ultimatum... he can only run or man up! Either way, at least you'll know.

[@alfrancis8]

After the way he's been playing its best to cut her losses, who wants this type of guy the rest of your life.

[@Anna-vy4hb]

How come many of our young women are falling for men who don’t love them? Men that simply has no sort of organization and plans for their life. Who barely understands the importance of time and energy and how it’s used. Even how to express courtesy and true love. Why does our younger generation struggle so much with taking pride in ourselves, living along the guidelines of positivity and stability, understanding self worth, and actually working hard for what we want and respecting others and living through God? So many women waste time on men who wouldn’t donate a minute to them. Where’s love?

[@jolainedecoste4686]

Because they're a reflection of the man!!!

[@barbararichardson2747]

Maybe it's because they hop in the bed to soon.Time haven't changed that much. There are still guys that put labels on women that give in to fast.

[@captainmarvelous1221]

My intentions for dating is time is not valuable so you better off not wasting and just work yourself and then you'll find the right person that is for you and no one else

[@carmengenna4630]

GIRL GO !!!BYE BOY

[@ImagineChristianity]

Steve nailed it on this one!

[@auspicious6703]

People who have suffered from childhood trauma can have something called ‘betrayal blindness’ which means you subconsciously overlook signs of abus, toxicity or betrayal in order to keep the relationship. It’s a survival mechanism we learn when we are younger but causes a lot of issues in adult relationships

[@kountrygirl9669]

4 years of wasting time💪🏼🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦Thank you Steve✌️

[@junehoward3923]

He’s a boy with a toy! Go find yourself a man with a plan! You have already allowed him to waste 4 years of your life!

[@tanafoster4072]

That's too damn long!

[@MsNobody]

4 years? Lol 3 months of no title. I'm gone... Bye! Look, a guy who wants you. He will put a title if you allow it at the moment he meets you. He will put a title the moment he gets to know you. He will want to claim you as a girlfriend the moment he feels something for you. Men fall in love in weeks if not days. If he really wants you. He'll give you what you want just so he won't lose you. Having said that if you are stagnant & not going anywhere after all the let down he's shown you. One day you'll wake up & he left you for someone he is not scared of calling wife. Just saying. Stop wasting time with Men who do not want you, period!

[@caligirl8904]

She has no self respect I can’t believed she even ask that question.

[@lautrec7092]

Agree with everything except the after college part

[@yana212]

4 years no title? No ma'am

[@hannahbahtyaqov9319]

She KNOW what it is. She’s known for four years. After you’ve given ALL you especially your extremely expensive time for free, he honestly don’t owe you anymore explanations. Now it’s time for you to use your OWN BRAIN to answer your own question and bounce.

[@jenniearoanddance4907]

After 3 months my husband proposed I said yes of course we were married 3 months later in April.

[@JRob594]

Women better recognize their worth otherwise they gonna keep getting played life is too short for games

[@michelewilliams5131]

Oh I so hope she listened!

[@willywonka077]

One guy in the while audience haha

[@selenebaptiste4277]

I laid down my requirements for my husband a lonnnnnnggggg time ago. Hence the reason he's my husband today and not my boyfriend!!!!!!! Uh huh.....

[@peekaboots01]

He already told her he was just messing with her. That's her answer. Why does she need to ask again?!

[@lildel7698]

It’s simple he wants to hookup with multiple women

[@Machenziethemodel]

That chemistry got you played.

[@Dawizardofozz33]

I'm not marrying anybody within 6 months!! That's what's wrong with this microwave society. Everything is so accelerated. You and your man been together 4 years. If you have to ask Steve and a bunch of other strangers for "advice" your mind is already made up. Have a conversation with your man or whatever ya'll call yourselves and make a grown up decision amongst yourselves.

[@waheedahsrecipes5004]

It been to long you should have been gone he just want to keep getting the cookie with out the ring ❤️💍😎

[@joselynenibizi4704]

Move on girl and find yourself another man, his just wasting your time.

[@INFORMATIVESITUATIONS]

EXPERTISE FROM STEVE HARVEY!!😃 👏👏👏 I'V ALWAYS LIKE TO SHOW THEM BETTER THAN I CAN TELL THEM 🏃🏃 😃🤣🤣

[@mikemushipe6023]

The guy is actually telling her that "he mess with her".......and she still don't get it.

[@martinahorcikova3133]

Absolutely right!!!!!!

[@toniagairy6605]

Us women need to set higher standards and say what we want out of a relationship and start add a titles…..We deserve better

[@onegreenenvy]

I can't be intimate with commitment. I wouldn't enjoy it anyway.

[@Mr79.]

I am 40 and still saying to my wife what is this?😭

[@akaza7874]

Steve said it all!!

[@ClaireHaire]

I don’t even let it past 3 months I turn down men daily , you better state your importance or get left . It’s nothing for me to go on another date.

[@8mhmtikpvz]

true bbw. what a lovely lady

[@pinkrose372]

This is the original side chick song.I’m up in my feelings for a next girl man.(Shensea)😂

[@dr.esonijadalmeida6097]

He mess with you...yep. Leave him. Know what your intentions are. YOU get to decide! These bumbs should be happy to have a woman.

[@estellabutler5424]

BOYfriends intentions is to keep taking care of himself. Women don't have to ask other men what's going on in their ASSociation if he cared about you because he'd reassure you and not have you running to another man with questions.

[@VHall-qk8tf]

Leave this man, and stop wasting your time.

[@brokenness86]

Absolutely Steve

[@lourdeangelotsingh609]

Great advice Mr. Harvey👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@Cabdulfatah_]

Well said Steve.

[@bigjob7551]

1 year max!

[@lovingfiona6889]

real talk,thank you

[@fromspace7]

Solid advice!! Steve is the man :)

[@nawal10]

Go and if he truly loves u he’ll come back if not u won’t see him again so

[@2099ramirez]

Dont waste you time cause that wall in undefeated!

[@kylesanders2999]

If you don’t take at least 90 days or more to get to know each other before you jump into the bed with someone that you are trying to be in a relationship with and to spend the rest of your life with then you are setting yourself up for a broken heart people have become so impatient when it comes to relationships and love and marriage and the outcome of it all is the actual good men that are looking for a good woman are being treated and pushed away by the good woman that have been treated like shit and cheated on because them good women now think that all men are assholes and cheaters and that’s not true at all these good men that women claim to be searching for are right in front of their faces but they choose to put them in their friend zones and leaving them there instead of opening their eyes and seeing that there perfect man has been right there the whole time

[@Lovelyminidonuts]

If you have to ask someone then you need to let that person go. Especially in this situation it’s just sex for him. Don’t let these guys have your body and your time and they don’t even have a relationship with you.

[@AK33M]

4 years... It's one thing to put up with it. But to not even know what it is after 4 years??? She's already a lost cause.

[@sharonbynum578]

HE'S NOT THAT IN TO YOU.......

[@thyjuanc8728]

People learn a person will do to you whatever u let them do to u. This should not be ask..

[@logic888]

girl.

[@talicia18]

Steve isn’t lying